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Images from the Deep South

A photo essay documenting LGBT life in rural Miss., Ala. and La.

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(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
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The True Gospel Church of God in Christ is near Jackson, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Blade reporter Michael K. Lavers and I earlier this year pitched the idea of going to Alabama, Louisiana and Mississippi to see what LGBT life is like in the South. Living in D.C., we wanted to see for ourselves just how different the experience was for our brothers and sisters who make their homes in places not known for LGBT inclusiveness. Our editor sent us out to gather stories and pictures. We had absolutely no idea what was in store for us.

The Dandelion Project

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Dandelion Project founder Brandiilyne Dear met with the Washington Blade in Laurel, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Our first stop after landing at Medgar Evers International Airport in Jackson, the Mississippi state capital, was in Laurel, Miss. where we met with Dandelion Project founder Rev. Brandiilyne Dear. She told us about her life: how she had been addicted to meth, but then found a calling to the pulpit and got sober. She founded a ministry to help the many addicts who live in the Mississippi Pine Belt. Despite all that she had done through the years for her church, when it was found out that she was a lesbian, everyone — even her own family — turned against her and she “lost everything.”

Dear found her calling elsewhere with the Dandelion Project, a social support group and activist organization for LGBT people in Mississippi. She explained that dandelions are seen as weeds; something to be destroyed, yet are beautiful, ubiquitous and “a good thing.”

We spoke with members of the Dandelion Project, including several gender non-conforming youth who were eager to share their stories of social isolation and the violence and hatred they face.

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Members of the Dandelion Project meet in Dear’s Mississippi home. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

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Members of the Dandelion Project gather to discuss issues in a home in Laurel, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Despite the daily discrimination they all said they experience, most members of the Dandelion project were proud to continue the fight for equality in their home state. One young person, however, who had just been through a harrowing run for her life from a group intent on doing her harm wished for Mississippi to “fall into the Gulf” of Mexico.

Mississippi Delta

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One of the many ruined structures along Main Street in Yazoo City, Miss. stands as a monument to the tornado which passed through the city four years ago. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Our next stop was in the verdant but poverty-stricken Mississippi Delta. After passing small farming towns and long stretches of countryside, we arrived at the “Gateway to the Delta,” Yazoo City, where we had an appointment with the newly elected Mayor Diane Delaware. A cosmopolitan woman who had worked “all around the world,” Delaware told us that she had “no problem” with same-sex marriage.

Yazoo City, and indeed the entire Mississippi Delta, seemed to have much bigger things to worry about than marriage equality. Abject poverty was compounded with joblessness to make for a grim future for many residents. A tornado had passed through Yazoo City four years before, leaving vast swaths of the city in ruins. The city didn’t have money or private investment to repair its downtown.

Yazoo City Boys & Girls Club. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

A Ten Commandments marker stands in front of Yazoo City Boys & Girls Club. Such markers are fairly common in Mississippi. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

A street in Yazoo City, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Several homes in Yazoo City, Miss. remain shuttered. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Main Street, Yazoo City, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Blocks of Main Street, Yazoo City, Miss. remain largely abandoned. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Main Street, Yazoo City, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

A tornado devastated Main Street, Yazoo City, Miss. four years ago. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We drove deep into the Mississippi Delta to Greenville on the the Mississippi River. There, we met with an out school teacher, Ryvell Fitzpatrick.

Ryvell Fitzpatrick, gay news, Washington Blade

Ryvell Fitzpatrick is a teacher in Greenville, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The reluctant pioneer described his life to us as someone who has managed to thrive, despite the difficulties.

We Don’t Discriminate Campaign

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A Mississippi law that opponents argue allows business owners to deny services to LGBT people based on their religious beliefs took effect on July 1. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Back in Laurel, Dear pointed out the “We Don’t Discriminate” signs on select local businesses. The signs had been placed in store windows following the passage of SB-2681 — the Mississippi Religious Freedom Restoration Act, or so-called “Turn Away the Gays Bill.”

We went to Jackson to track down the organizers of the We Don’t Discriminate Campaign.

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Campbell’s Bakery owner Mitchell Moore is the founder of the ‘We Don’t Discriminate’ campaign. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We spoke with the founder: a self-described “straight, married, Republican, Christian” entrepreneur named Mitchell Moore who was disgusted that his bakery, the only wedding cake bakery within the Jackson city limits, would be used as a rallying cry for homophobes in the state Senate to justify the anti-gay bill. Following the interview, Moore gave us a large box of confections.

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Eddie Outlaw owns a barbershop and salon in Jackson, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

My reporter traveling companion got a beard trim as he interviewed salon and barbershop owner Eddie Outlaw. Outlaw and his husband Justin McPherson, the subjects of the documentary, “A Mississippi Love Story,” told us about their involvement in the campaign.

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Justin McPherson Outlaw and Eddie Outlaw, owners of a hair salon and barber shop in Jackson, Miss., married in California last year. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We met with a group of LGBT rights advocates who spent their evening drinking beer, eating hors d’oeuvres and stuffing envelopes with “We Don’t Discriminate” stickers.

Activists in Jackson, Miss. fill envelopes with 'We Don't Discriminate' literature. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Activists in Jackson, Miss. fill envelopes with ‘We Don’t Discriminate’ literature. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

They were all excited by the success of the campaign in generating buzz around the nation, and hopeful about change to come.

Late at night, we met with performance artist Constance Gordon in the dressing room of a club frequented by LGBT people of color. She explained to us the intersection of race, class and gender and other dynamics in play in Mississippi. Like most we spoke with, she was proud to be from Mississippi, though she acknowledged the rampant discrimination that LGBT people face in her home state.

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Constance Gordon is a performance artist and promoter in Jackson, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The next day, before moving on to Louisiana, we met with HIV/AIDS service providers and advocates at Open Arms Healthcare Center in Jackson. We met the “AIDS Lady,” as she referred to herself, Charlotte “Dot” Norwood. She told us of the struggles that many clients face, including accessing healthcare, finding jobs and even getting enough to eat.

Charlotte “Dot” Norwood, gay news, Washington Blade

Charlotte “Dot” Norwood has spent years in the fight against HIV/AIDS. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We also had the pleasure of meeting client-turned-advocate Antwan Matthews. He related to us his story of being a great student but being kicked out of his home when his family found out that he is gay and HIV positive. Despite all of that, he managed to become a peer HIV educator and put himself through college. He is looking forward to graduating with a degree in biology soon.

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Antwan Matthews is a student and peer HIV educator. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Baton Rouge

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Carol Frazier, on upper right, greets fellow LGBT rights advocates at a restaurant in Baton Rouge, La., on July 12, 2014. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We left Mississippi behind and drove south to Baton Rouge. We stopped at Bistro Byronz to meet with members of PFLAG Baton Rouge, Equality Louisiana, Louisiana Trans Advocates and Baton Rouge Pride. Michael tried to start the interviews, but the ebullient Carol Frazier of PFLAG insisted that in the South, people eat together before they get down to business. We polished off our crawfish étouffée and listened to stories from the gathered activists about their lives and work.

Many of those gathered at our table struggled with poverty and employment, like transgender woman Ksaa Zair who had difficulty in finding a job because of her gender presentation and had to resort to illegally attaining hormones over the Internet because she could not afford proper medical care in the U.S., or her roommate Sergio Oramas who worked as many overtime hours as he could at a warehouse, yet struggled to pay rent.

Other advocates we spoke with dealt with loss, like Frazier: her gay son had committed suicide. She then dedicated her life to helping LGBT people as the president of PFLAG Baton Rouge until health issues forced her to take a less active role.

All of the assembled activists had come together as a close-knit community. After Hurricane Katrina, tens of thousands of people moved to Baton Rouge and the nascent LGBT community began to solidify. The city’s first Pride celebration was held in 2007, organized by Tom Merrill and other members of Baton Rouge Pride.

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From left; Tom Merrill and Rick Cain are organizers of Baton Rouge Pride. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

After many hugs and farewells to our friendly dining companions, Michael and I left the sweltering heat of Baton Rouge and drove through the swamps of Louisiana to New Orleans.

New Orleans

After spending an evening touring the French Quarter and sampling crawfish pie and signature “hand grenade” drinks on Bourbon Street, Michael and I got some much-needed rest.

Gay life in the South

The St. Louis Cathedral in the French Quarter of New Orleans is a spot popular with tourists. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The next day, we met with activists in Metairie, La. who told us of the ups and downs of LGBT life in the New Orleans area. PFLAG New Orleans Co-President Julie Thompson, who had lost her gay son due to a medical emergency in the middle of a hurricane, beamed proudly about the time she went to Southern Decadence with him and how nice everyone was to her at gay bars. She, and the others gathered, spoke of how different everything was after Katrina and how the once-vibrant LGBT community of New Orleans was only now getting to where it was before the levees burst.

Hurricane Katrina

Co-President of PFLAG New Orleans Julie Thompson recalled many happy memories with her late gay son. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Louisiana Trans Advocates President Elizabeth Anne Jenkins told us how the destruction of the city meant the wholesale dismantling of an infrastructure for support for the local trans population, from doctors to support networks.

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Elizabeth Anne Jenkins is the president of Louisiana Trans Advocates. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Michael and I wanted to see the devastated Lower Ninth Ward for ourselves. There were rows and rows of foundations with no houses, empty streets with only weeds on the block. But there were bright spots. The Make It Right Foundation had rebuilt a portion of the neighborhood with gleaming, eco-friendly, hurricane resistant homes.

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Several eco-friendly homes have been built in the Lower Ninth Ward. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

But, it only took a trip across the bridge to the Upper Ninth Ward to see that the region is far from recovered. Many homes remain boarded shut, overgrown with creeping vines.

Hurricane Katrina

Several homes remain shuttered in the Upper Ninth Ward of New Orleans nine years after Katrina. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

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Homes in the Upper Ninth Ward of New Orleans have been reclaimed by nature and sit abandoned. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

HIV in New Orleans

That evening, we met with peer educator Timothy Thompson of the New Orleans AIDS Task Force for dinner in the French Quarter. He told us of the problem of the stigma of an HIV-positive diagnosis driving many to avoid being tested. Many misconceptions about HIV/AIDS persist among people that Thompson had met with, including fears that HIV could be spread by sharing a meal.

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Timothy Thompson is a peer educator with New Orleans AIDS Task Force. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

In the morning, we made our last stop in New Orleans: Belle Reve. Belle Reve is a residence for people with HIV that provides medical care and helps residents to get back on their feet. Vicki Weeks, its executive director, told us of all of the programs offered at the center and proudly guided us around. She, and other staff and residents, had been through a traumatic several months living as refugees in the aftermath of Katrina. But the center is now restored and provides life-saving treatment to people who are often at the end of their rope.

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Belle Reve Executive Director Vicki Weeks shows photos of the hurricane damage to the Belle Reve facility. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

One such resident was Carl Green who had lost his job after it was discovered that he was HIV positive. He became homeless and without access to medical treatment, deteriorated rapidly. Belle Reve took him in and nursed him back to health.

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Carl Green is a resident at Belle Reve. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We also met with Miss Eddie who had ridden out Katrina in New Orleans before becoming a resident at Belle Reve.

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Miss Eddie told the Blade, ‘It’s a great blessing being here,’ in the Belle Reve facility in New Orleans. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Gulf Coast

We left New Orleans and drove to the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Where houses once stood along the shore, now only foundations remained. Many had rebuilt, but the scars of the hurricane were ever present.

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Foundations are all that remain of many homes along the Gulf Coast in Gulfport, Miss., destroyed during Hurricane Katrina. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Our first stop on the coast was to meet Jeff White and John Perkins, co-founders of the Mississippi Gulf Coast Lesbian and Gay Community Center. We shared queso and a margarita with them at a Mexican restaurant in Gulfport. They told us of how it was difficult for LGBT people to be out in any capacity in the area. They were even worried that the people in the restaurant might be looking at us. White then related a horrifying story about how he had been repeatedly raped by a teacher at his private Baptist school as an openly gay teenager to make him “hate men and change.”

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Jeff White and John Perkins are the co-founders of the Mississippi Gulf Coast Lesbian and Gay Community Center. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We drove along the coast to a mall in nearby Biloxi, where we met with Jennifer and Jena Pierce and a trans man who preferred to remain anonymous. The Pierces married in Connecticut last December, yet lived in Mississippi. They had considered moving to a place more accepting of their relationship, but decided to stay for the sake of their young daughter who is in school. The married couple had faced discrimination on a number of occasions. Jena Pierce told us that an employee at the DMV office loudly gathered her coworkers and told her she could not change the last name on her driver’s license because the state would not recognize her marriage. The DMV worker proceeded to publicly embarrass her, leaving her sobbing in her car.

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Jennifer and Jena Pierce are a married couple in Biloxi, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Jennifer Pierce had also experienced discrimination when trying to take a family leave day to take their daughter to the doctor’s office. Her workplace wouldn’t let her go because their daughter isn’t her biological daughter — even though the people making the decision had been guests at the Pierces’ wedding reception.

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A trans man on the Gulf Coast preferred to remain anonymous but spoke to the Blade about his experience as a trans man living on the Gulf Coast. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Alabama

It was in the early evening when we pulled into the parking lot of Laps on the Causeway, a sprawling restaurant along a thin stretch of land in the middle of Mobile Bay. Michael and I battled a swarm of gnats to meet with Lane Galbraith on the outdoor deck of his favorite restaurant. The trans man who had founded LGBT Wave of Hope, a Mobile LGBT advocacy organization, told us of the pervasive closet of Alabama and the struggles of the LGBT people who live there.

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Lane Galbraith is the founder of LGBT Wave of Hope in Mobile, Ala. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Our final leg of the trip was something that I had been looking forward to for weeks. We drove to Montgomery, Ala. to visit the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC). There was as much security at the SPLC as one would expect at the White House. After passing through many checkpoints, I wasn’t even allowed to take pictures inside the massive building. The SPLC’s precautions were well-founded however, as the watchdog organization had been targeted many times by hate groups resulting in fire bombings. We visited the Civil Rights Memorial and got background on the SPLC’s LGBT-specific cases. We met with SPLC lawyers David Dinielli and Sam Wolfe who specialize in LGBT issues.

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Southern Poverty Law Center Deputy Legal Director David Dinielli and lawyer Sam Wolfe met with the Washington Blade at the Civil Rights Memorial in Montgomery, Ala. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

After meeting with the lawyers, we were granted a visit to the SPLC’s Civil Rights Museum. Upon seeing a display that related the horrifying death of a man in an anti-gay attack, my traveling companion started sobbing. I felt a strange confluence of emotions from the mental and emotional toll our trip had taken as well. After we left the museum, we walked in silence around Montgomery. Signs of the Confederacy were all around us, including the Confederate “White House” of Jefferson Davis.

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The circular Civil Rights Memorial in Montgomery, Ala. lists martyrs to the cause of civil rights, with a blank spot left for people who came before and those who are yet to come. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

On the last day of our trip, Michael and I were both mentally exhausted, but we had one more important person to talk with. Kathie Heirs of AIDS Alabama met us in her offices in Birmingham to talk about the strides made in combatting the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the state.

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Kathie Hiers is the CEO of AIDS Alabama. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Michael and I dropped off the rental car at the airport in Birmingham and had a silent drink together while waiting on our flight back to D.C. The many stories I had heard were swirling around in my head and I was too close to it then to make sense of it. I did know two things: I would never take living in a place like Washington for granted again and I would never again succumb to the comforting lie that our full equality had already been won nationwide. The people we had met in the South were amazing and courageous and had built a community in difficult circumstances. Most all of the people we had spoken with had a sense of pride of place and felt a duty to make their town or city a more welcoming home for the next generation of LGBT people.

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The mastery of love

The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner, but in Rehoboth Beach, he has a story entirely his own

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Eric Anderson and Billy Porter met at a Christmas party and ended up talking until the sun came up. (Photo courtesy of Eric Anderson)

The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner. In Rehoboth Beach, Del., he has a life — and a story — entirely his own.

My first time with Eric Anderson was hot — very hot. Before he arrived, I sat waiting, overthinking everything. When he finally appeared in a loose-fitting T-shirt and purple shorts, I understood why he attracts attention. Eric is the kind of man who changes the energy of a room simply by entering it.

After a quick hello, we got right to it. Techno pulsed through the room as Eric told me how to move, where to place my hands, when to breathe. My heart pounded. My muscles ached. I bent, twisted, and stretched while sweat ran down my back and burned my eyes. I didn’t bother wiping it away.

To be clear, Eric and I were not alone. Five other people were with us — and the yoga studio at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach was heated to 87 degrees.

“If you are always racing toward the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?” Eric asked, opening his power yoga class and inviting us to leave whatever had followed us through the door and surrender to the present. Surrender did not come easily. At 58, I’ve done enough yoga to know the difference between discomfort and imminent death. Halfway through Eric’s relentless flow, the distinction began to blur.

A playlist of techno and remixed pop — including “Live Like You Were Dying” — carried us from one demanding pose to the next. Eric moved among the mats with the energy of a nightclub DJ and the calm of someone who trusted our bodies to go further than our minds believed possible. Nearly an hour later, when the music softened and I collapsed onto my back in savasana, he laid a cool cloth across my forehead. I exhaled — relieved, and maybe a little disappointed, that my first time with Eric was over.

At the end of my mat, a handwritten note congratulated me on my first class and invited me back — a small benediction after the storm. Then Eric closed the class by repeating the question with which he’d opened. For a man whose relationship with actor and singer Billy Porter has drawn him unexpectedly into the public eye, it sounded less like a yoga mantra than a personal creed.

The next time I meet Eric, there is air conditioning and caffeine. We are at Starbucks, where I deliberately order the largest drinks available, as though volume alone might buy me more time. He chooses a matcha, and I order herbal tea. My heart is pounding again, faster than the soft rock drifting from the speakers above us. Although I’ve already spent more than an hour with Eric, I know almost nothing about the man I’m about to interview.

Neither, it seems, does anyone else.

Celebrity outlets offer a handful of biographical details: a Rehoboth Beach teacher and yoga instructor with a master’s degree from Columbia University. Gay publications have been less restrained. One introduced him as Billy Porter’s “total hot stud,” called him “a snacc,” and praised his ability to “rock a Speedo.” Queerty distilled Eric’s identity to five words: “Porter is dating a teacher.”

All of it tells me how the world sees him. None of it tells me who he is.

I know from our text exchanges that Eric is slammed for time. He is scheduled to travel to New York later that day and fly to WorldPride Amsterdam the following afternoon. Billy is among the headliners for the opening-night Unity Concert and is also slated to perform at the Wedding Party XXL alongside KI/KI, Bimini, and the Vengaboys. Eric still has to pack. This, I’m beginning to understand, is part of loving someone famous: there is almost always an itinerary, another city, and a specific time and place Billy needs to be. Even here, with two untouched drinks between us, the clock is ticking.

Eric Anderson (Photo courtesy of Eric Anderson)

As soon as we sit down, I open my laptop, ready to get to work. My mind is focused on the list of questions I’ve prepared, and I’ve already anticipated the shape of most of his responses. Then I look up and see Eric sitting perfectly still, smiling, and taking in the moment. He hasn’t even taken a sip of his matcha yet.

I quietly close my laptop and breathe.

Within minutes, the interview softens into a conversation.

Eric earned a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Delaware and a master’s in public school leadership from Teachers College, Columbia University. He began his career teaching mathematics before moving into school administration, eventually serving as vice president of the Charter School of Wilmington and head of school at Sussex Academy. Today, he teaches mathematics and social studies in the Cape Henlopen School District. He also coaches soccer and leads yoga classes at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach.

His return to the classroom was deliberate. Eric knows some people assumed there must be a story behind his leaving administration—that he had done something wrong or that teaching represented a demotion.

“I want to make it clear that I went back to teaching by choice,” he says.

As a child, Eric played school. Teaching has always felt natural to him, less like an occupation than an expression of who he is. Administration was different.

“It felt like work,” he says. “It wasn’t where my passion was, and it didn’t bring me joy. Going back into the classroom was simply me choosing joy.”

The more Eric talks, the clearer it becomes that teaching is not merely a job but a vocation. His mother is white and his father is Black, and growing up biracial was not always easy. “I saw the best and the worst of both,” he tells me. Those experiences helped shape his desire to become a teacher — to be the kind of person who could make a meaningful difference in a young person’s life.

Just then, Eric glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with someone across the room. He waves and flashes what is quickly becoming his signature smile. My first thought is that someone has recognized him as Billy Porter’s partner.

I’m wrong. It’s one of his former students.

Inevitably, our conversation turns to love — and to Billy. I’ve made it clear that I’m here to write about Eric, not Billy Porter. But separating the two entirely would be as artificial as defining Eric only by their relationship. Billy is now an essential part of his story.

Eric met Billy at a Christmas party hosted by mutual friends who had been trying to introduce them all night. It wasn’t easy — the party was crowded, and the two men never quite crossed paths. Eric stayed for the afterparty, where a friend nudged him and nodded toward the room: Billy was looking his way. Romance never crossed his mind.

Eventually, they started talking. Eric has never had much patience for small talk, and he wasn’t interested in cataloging which celebrities Billy knew. He skipped it entirely and went straight for the deeper questions — what Billy believed, how he saw the world, what mattered to him. They ended up at the kitchen table, trading life philosophies until 5 a.m.

What struck Eric most wasn’t the conversation’s length. It was its depth. Billy wasn’t who he expected. Neither was the conversation. By the time the sun was coming up, Eric was less surprised that they’d talked all night than by how much, it turned out, they had in common.

They had dinner the following evening, and Billy invited Eric to spend the weekend with him in New York. There, Billy took him to see Nicole Scherzinger in “Sunset Boulevard.” Right before the show started, he casually introduced Eric to a friend named Katy. Back in their seats, Eric asked how Billy knew her.

“BITCH,” Billy replied, “that is Miss K-A-T-Y P-E-R-R-Y!”

For all the glamour surrounding their courtship, Eric describes the foundation of their relationship in decidedly spiritual terms. His favorite book is don Miguel Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love, which explores how fear, expectation, and the need for approval can distort relationships. Its philosophy closely resembles Eric’s own.

On the surface, Eric and Billy inhabit different worlds. Eric is a deeply spiritual teacher rooted in a small coastal Delaware town. Billy is a celebrated actor and performer whose larger-than-life persona commands stages around the world. But when I ask Eric how the relationship works, he doesn’t hesitate.

“I know that I can be my authentic self with him, and he can be his with me,” he says. “We love each other unconditionally.”

The words could sound rehearsed. Coming from Eric, they don’t.

The red carpets, famous faces, and international travel are not what matter most.

“It’s all about the people,” he explains. “I love Billy’s family and friends, and he loves mine.”

Authenticity surfaces repeatedly in our conversation — not as an abstract ideal, but as Eric’s determination to trust what feels right for him, even when other people may not understand it. I tell him about growing up in Pittsburgh and spending much of my life trying to fit the person I was into the person the world expected me to be. Eric listens intently, then pauses before responding.

“Fuck the system.”

It is blunt, funny, and entirely consistent with the man sitting across from me. Dating Billy may have dramatically increased the number of strangers who have opinions about Eric, but it hasn’t increased the number whose opinions matter to him. He is remarkably unconcerned with what people he doesn’t know think — or say — about him. The attention is new. His response to it is not.

For Eric, authenticity isn’t about asking the world for permission to be yourself. It’s about deciding that permission was never the world’s to give.

That instinct—to look inward rather than outward for permission — predates Billy.

Eric initially turned to yoga for a practical reason: he wanted to improve his physical performance on the soccer field. It didn’t take long for him to realize that something else was happening. Yoga was strengthening his body, but it was also grounding him.

Over time, the physical practice became inseparable from the mental one. The poses, the heat, even the strength required to hold his body in place became less important than learning how to quiet the noise around him, stay present, and listen to himself. The man who had pushed me through an hour of sweat and discomfort wasn’t simply teaching people how to move their bodies. He was asking them to practice something he had learned to do himself.

That sense of being grounded has become particularly important in a relationship that often requires two people to live very different lives. Eric is quick to point out that he and Billy have separate careers, separate ambitions, and goals entirely their own. Neither expects the other to abandon an individual life simply because they have chosen to build a relationship together.

When Billy left for London to star in “Cabaret,” distance became part of their routine. They FaceTimed every day, a practice they continue whenever they are apart.

“I tell Billy everything,” Eric says.

Being authentic with Billy doesn’t require the two men to become more alike. If anything, the opposite seems true. They are comfortable following their own career paths, living separate lives when circumstances require it, and giving each other the freedom to pursue what matters individually. Then they come back together — not because either has put his own life on hold, but because they have chosen to share those lives with each other.

When we finally look at the time, nearly 90 minutes have passed. Eric still needs to pack. New York is waiting, Amsterdam after that, and somewhere there is undoubtedly an itinerary telling Billy exactly where he needs to be and when.

But for a while, neither of us was racing toward the next moment.

We were fully inside the one we were in.

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What ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’ can still teach us

Producer David Collins on lasting impact of hit series

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David Collins (Photo courtesy of Collins)

It’s hard to imagine where LGBTQ+ television would be without “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” the trailblazing reality series that premiered in 2003. 

Each episode of this Emmy-winning show saw a group of gays converge on a struggling man — the titular straight guy — and offer nonstop wit while organizing his endlessly messy life. This program about a group of homosexual helpers took the world by storm, furthering the love of gay television begun by shows like “Will and Grace” but bringing it into the growing medium of reality TV. Of course, it wasn’t perfect; “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” often cast its experts less as multi-faceted queer folks and more as sources of early 2000s gay jokes. But despite these pitfalls, it’s undeniable that the original program explored the realities of being gay in a way audiences had never seen before. It was a monumental piece of LGBTQ+ representation, and its success is largely owed to the man who fought to get this show made: producer David Collins. 

Collins spoke with the Blade from his Los Angeles home, where he’s spent the past few years living with his husband and his two daughters. David spoke fondly of his many years in the industry, detailing how it feels to be such a huge part of LGBTQ+ history. He explained, however, that he didn’t initially set out to alter how queer people were seen on television. “I never went out to make gay television,” said the producer. “I went out to tell great stories.”

“I’m a hillbilly from Ohio, and I thought I was going to be an editor,” David laughed, looking back on his career. “I interned at the Cincinnati Film Office, and I showed up to work my very first day, and the film commissioner was like, ‘Get to the airport right now and pick [someone] up. Don’t talk to them.’ Well, I ended up picking up Jodie Foster.” Collins raved about this car ride that changed his life, with the pair becoming friends and Foster pushing him to become a producer who puts their own media out into the world. Eventually, he did just that, and after learning about the wild new genre that was reality TV, he pitched a series to Bravo: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” 

“I was obsessed with Esquire magazine, and they had five categories: fashion, grooming, interior design, culture, food, and wine. So I gave them each a gay, and the Fab Five were born!” Collins said, describing how viewers quickly fell in love with the concept and earned the program four seasons and an Emmy for Outstanding Reality Program. He spoke about how proud he felt creating a show that centered real gay people, not characters in a story, remembering, “To stand in the middle of Times Square and look up and see this massive billboard with the original Queer Eye guys…it wasn’t even a dream come true, because it wasn’t a dream I had even fathomed.”

With his series, people were watching actual gay men and learning the realities of a queer culture that had always been portrayed as a danger to society. Collins tearfully recounted hearing about queer people using the show as a way to connect with their family, saying, “What I’m most proud of that’s come out of Queer Eye [are] the conversations that that series has allowed to have people around their kitchen tables with little boys in Ohio like me who were scared to death that they were going to burn in hell because their pastor was telling them that they were a sinner.”

Now, for all of its trailblazing, the program wasn’t wholly positive; the show’s focus on the central ‘straight guy’ meant it rarely delved into the lives of its Fab Five. Collins regretted that lack of depth but understood that earlier audiences weren’t accustomed to such a nuanced look into queerness — that would have to wait for the reboot. 

When “Queer Eye” came out in 2018, audiences were introduced to not only a new Fab Five, but a whole new format (that didn’t rely on a straight person). Now, the series would assist queer folks and allies alike, spotlighting these individuals as well as the queer experts helping them improve their lives. The show has been applauded for its amazing makeovers, but where it truly stands out is its representation, offering a look into individuals across the country and the struggles — along with the immense joys — of being queer in America today.

Fans were disappointed to hear that “Queer Eye” would be ending after its 10th season, but David stressed that they wouldn’t have to be sad for long. “What I will say to you is this: hang tight,” he teased. “There’s yet another version of ‘Queer Eye’ to come, and we’re working on that now.” In the meantime, Collins is continuing his work with new shows like the “House of Stassi,” a series centered on “Vanderpump Rules’”prolific waitress. He’s excited about these new projects, but emphasized that his heart will always belong to “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” and all that it continues to do for viewers 19 years after its finale. 

“It’s not about your new outfit or your new couch or your new whatever. It’s about your humanity,” said Collins, speaking about the core lesson he hopes people take away from the Queer Eye franchise. “It’s about seeing yourself. It’s about dignity. It’s about how confidence breeds success.”

A valuable message that queer folks can benefit from even more now than they did in 2003. And, while it’s unclear just what lies ahead for this franchise, one thing is for sure: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” helped people everywhere understand the power that exists within our queerness. It’s a truth that has impacted countless pieces of LGBTQ+ television today, and it’s one that Collins promises to keep alive through whatever hit show he creates next. 

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Jason DePuy on coping with homophobia in ‘Big Brother’ house

First drag queen contestant on CBS show fought to stay positive

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Jason DePuy on Big Brother (Photo courtesy of CBS Broadcasting,Inc.)

One week after Jason DePuy (known as Salina EsTitties on “RuPaul’s Drag Race”) was bullied and eventually evicted from CBS’s “Big Brother” house, the queer drag performer is still emotionally processing his feelings.

During his 24 days in the reality TV competition, DePuy often had a rough time, with fellow cast member Kamuela “Kamu” Kirk making homophobic comments and feeling isolated.

In a conversation with Head of Household Rick Devens, Kirk left viewers upset when he said, “Bro, miss me with the drag stuff. Miss me. I’m still an MMA guy, and I have an image to uphold.”

Former “Big Brother” contestant Frankie Grande called his words  ‘homophobic’ and ‘gross.’ Another comment, where Kirk said he wanted to end DePuy’s career, also received strong backlash online.

Now that he is out of the house, DePuy has been shocked and deeply touched by the love from “Big Brother” fans and former contestants. We chatted with DePuy for this Blade exclusive.

“To know that my community was rallying for me outside the house was the most wonderful thing. Seeing how much people were just wanting to shower me with love was incredible. Even my friends, I went to say hi and give them a hug, and they’re like, ‘Uh, uh, come here.’ They had to hold me and let me know America was feeling for me in a way that I had no idea.”

He added: “To see that reality was just overwhelming, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

Known as a messy player in the house, DePuy often had to fight to stay positive and stand up for himself. 

“No one was coming to my rescue. In real life, it’s easy to block people, but in the house, I didn’t have that luxury, so I had to find it within myself to learn how to speak up for myself in a way that wasn’t nasty or biting. I didn’t attack anyone personally, which is what I was the most proud of.”

DePuy acknowledged he has had a history of putting his foot in his mouth when it came to certain “Drag Race”moments, being in the public eye, and making a fool of himself. “I’ve learned my lessons; to see how I handled myself in the ‘Big Brother’ house was amazing.” 

While DePuy has been sober for 14 and a half years and has a strong spiritual foundation, in the Big Brother house, he often felt like he couldn’t communicate what he was feeling. 

“As a queer person, a person of color, a drag queen, I have to be very careful about how I move. I don’t have the luxury or privilege to just act a certain way or say a certain thing. I have to be very careful; I’m representing me. But who I am is a Latino, a person of recovery, a drag queen, a queer person in the community. I know that there’s a lot of pressure that comes with that. I felt it was safer for me to sit there and just breathe than try to do anything crazy.”

He continued: “I couldn’t speak to the personal attack that was happening in the house, because in my mind I was like, ‘no, this is a game, and I have to play it, put that aside.’”

Not only can viewers watch the episodes, but they can also watch the live feeds of what’s happening. Seeing the fans’ social media posts from people who had watched the episodes and the live feeds also contributed to DePuy realizing that his feelings of discomfort were valid.

“To know that I wasn’t delusional in those moments, that others could see what was happening, has been a lot to take in. Fans and friends let me know the comments made went beyond the game…I’m like, ‘Oh, so my instincts were correct.”

One of the most poignant moments on the live feeds occurred when DePuy was crying, alone in his room, and said how he missed his gay community.

“I really missed my friends. I missed my queer community. We’re so colorful. We’re so loud. We’re so vibrant. We speak off the cuff, and we’re very truthful and honest with how we speak, and it’s fun. We have fun lingo.”

DePuy had to censor his expressions in the house. “Because I can say one thing, but it can mean something different to straight people than it does with my queer brothers and sisters. So, there was a sense of code-switching that I had to do. I had to even put aside some of my queerness in a way sometimes to fit in.”

DePuy was thrilled to be the very first drag queen to ever be cast on the show. 

“I’m honored to have been chosen. There’s a million drag queens out there, and to know that I was a contender to come in the house and not even be in drag was like a wow for me. I’m over here in Hollywood, running around these streets with a wig and heels just to make a dollar to survive, and I have to rely on drag to do that. And then to be offered this opportunity and be given the privilege to say, ‘hey, you don’t have to put on the wig for you to be valuable here,’ is just insane to me.”

Prior to his shows, DePuy has been hustling for 15 years, flipping burgers and doing drag at night.

“That has been my life these past since I was 17. So it’s been a long journey; the opportunity to do this out of drag is a very big blessing. I’m honored and grateful to be the representation of my community.”

If you missed Jason on “Big Brother: Unlocked,” the episode can be seen on CBS.com. He will be back on the show for the finale.

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