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Images from the Deep South

A photo essay documenting LGBT life in rural Miss., Ala. and La.

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(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
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The True Gospel Church of God in Christ is near Jackson, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Blade reporter Michael K. Lavers and I earlier this year pitched the idea of going to Alabama, Louisiana and Mississippi to see what LGBT life is like in the South. Living in D.C., we wanted to see for ourselves just how different the experience was for our brothers and sisters who make their homes in places not known for LGBT inclusiveness. Our editor sent us out to gather stories and pictures. We had absolutely no idea what was in store for us.

The Dandelion Project

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Dandelion Project founder Brandiilyne Dear met with the Washington Blade in Laurel, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Our first stop after landing at Medgar Evers International Airport in Jackson, the Mississippi state capital, was in Laurel, Miss. where we met with Dandelion Project founder Rev. Brandiilyne Dear. She told us about her life: how she had been addicted to meth, but then found a calling to the pulpit and got sober. She founded a ministry to help the many addicts who live in the Mississippi Pine Belt. Despite all that she had done through the years for her church, when it was found out that she was a lesbian, everyone — even her own family — turned against her and she “lost everything.”

Dear found her calling elsewhere with the Dandelion Project, a social support group and activist organization for LGBT people in Mississippi. She explained that dandelions are seen as weeds; something to be destroyed, yet are beautiful, ubiquitous and “a good thing.”

We spoke with members of the Dandelion Project, including several gender non-conforming youth who were eager to share their stories of social isolation and the violence and hatred they face.

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Members of the Dandelion Project meet in Dear’s Mississippi home. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

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Members of the Dandelion Project gather to discuss issues in a home in Laurel, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Despite the daily discrimination they all said they experience, most members of the Dandelion project were proud to continue the fight for equality in their home state. One young person, however, who had just been through a harrowing run for her life from a group intent on doing her harm wished for Mississippi to “fall into the Gulf” of Mexico.

Mississippi Delta

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One of the many ruined structures along Main Street in Yazoo City, Miss. stands as a monument to the tornado which passed through the city four years ago. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Our next stop was in the verdant but poverty-stricken Mississippi Delta. After passing small farming towns and long stretches of countryside, we arrived at the “Gateway to the Delta,” Yazoo City, where we had an appointment with the newly elected Mayor Diane Delaware. A cosmopolitan woman who had worked “all around the world,” Delaware told us that she had “no problem” with same-sex marriage.

Yazoo City, and indeed the entire Mississippi Delta, seemed to have much bigger things to worry about than marriage equality. Abject poverty was compounded with joblessness to make for a grim future for many residents. A tornado had passed through Yazoo City four years before, leaving vast swaths of the city in ruins. The city didn’t have money or private investment to repair its downtown.

Yazoo City Boys & Girls Club. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

A Ten Commandments marker stands in front of Yazoo City Boys & Girls Club. Such markers are fairly common in Mississippi. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

A street in Yazoo City, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Several homes in Yazoo City, Miss. remain shuttered. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Main Street, Yazoo City, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Blocks of Main Street, Yazoo City, Miss. remain largely abandoned. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Main Street, Yazoo City, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

A tornado devastated Main Street, Yazoo City, Miss. four years ago. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We drove deep into the Mississippi Delta to Greenville on the the Mississippi River. There, we met with an out school teacher, Ryvell Fitzpatrick.

Ryvell Fitzpatrick, gay news, Washington Blade

Ryvell Fitzpatrick is a teacher in Greenville, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The reluctant pioneer described his life to us as someone who has managed to thrive, despite the difficulties.

We Don’t Discriminate Campaign

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A Mississippi law that opponents argue allows business owners to deny services to LGBT people based on their religious beliefs took effect on July 1. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Back in Laurel, Dear pointed out the “We Don’t Discriminate” signs on select local businesses. The signs had been placed in store windows following the passage of SB-2681 — the Mississippi Religious Freedom Restoration Act, or so-called “Turn Away the Gays Bill.”

We went to Jackson to track down the organizers of the We Don’t Discriminate Campaign.

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Campbell’s Bakery owner Mitchell Moore is the founder of the ‘We Don’t Discriminate’ campaign. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We spoke with the founder: a self-described “straight, married, Republican, Christian” entrepreneur named Mitchell Moore who was disgusted that his bakery, the only wedding cake bakery within the Jackson city limits, would be used as a rallying cry for homophobes in the state Senate to justify the anti-gay bill. Following the interview, Moore gave us a large box of confections.

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Eddie Outlaw owns a barbershop and salon in Jackson, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

My reporter traveling companion got a beard trim as he interviewed salon and barbershop owner Eddie Outlaw. Outlaw and his husband Justin McPherson, the subjects of the documentary, “A Mississippi Love Story,” told us about their involvement in the campaign.

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Justin McPherson Outlaw and Eddie Outlaw, owners of a hair salon and barber shop in Jackson, Miss., married in California last year. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We met with a group of LGBT rights advocates who spent their evening drinking beer, eating hors d’oeuvres and stuffing envelopes with “We Don’t Discriminate” stickers.

Activists in Jackson, Miss. fill envelopes with 'We Don't Discriminate' literature. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Activists in Jackson, Miss. fill envelopes with ‘We Don’t Discriminate’ literature. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

They were all excited by the success of the campaign in generating buzz around the nation, and hopeful about change to come.

Late at night, we met with performance artist Constance Gordon in the dressing room of a club frequented by LGBT people of color. She explained to us the intersection of race, class and gender and other dynamics in play in Mississippi. Like most we spoke with, she was proud to be from Mississippi, though she acknowledged the rampant discrimination that LGBT people face in her home state.

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Constance Gordon is a performance artist and promoter in Jackson, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The next day, before moving on to Louisiana, we met with HIV/AIDS service providers and advocates at Open Arms Healthcare Center in Jackson. We met the “AIDS Lady,” as she referred to herself, Charlotte “Dot” Norwood. She told us of the struggles that many clients face, including accessing healthcare, finding jobs and even getting enough to eat.

Charlotte “Dot” Norwood, gay news, Washington Blade

Charlotte “Dot” Norwood has spent years in the fight against HIV/AIDS. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We also had the pleasure of meeting client-turned-advocate Antwan Matthews. He related to us his story of being a great student but being kicked out of his home when his family found out that he is gay and HIV positive. Despite all of that, he managed to become a peer HIV educator and put himself through college. He is looking forward to graduating with a degree in biology soon.

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Antwan Matthews is a student and peer HIV educator. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Baton Rouge

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Carol Frazier, on upper right, greets fellow LGBT rights advocates at a restaurant in Baton Rouge, La., on July 12, 2014. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We left Mississippi behind and drove south to Baton Rouge. We stopped at Bistro Byronz to meet with members of PFLAG Baton Rouge, Equality Louisiana, Louisiana Trans Advocates and Baton Rouge Pride. Michael tried to start the interviews, but the ebullient Carol Frazier of PFLAG insisted that in the South, people eat together before they get down to business. We polished off our crawfish étouffée and listened to stories from the gathered activists about their lives and work.

Many of those gathered at our table struggled with poverty and employment, like transgender woman Ksaa Zair who had difficulty in finding a job because of her gender presentation and had to resort to illegally attaining hormones over the Internet because she could not afford proper medical care in the U.S., or her roommate Sergio Oramas who worked as many overtime hours as he could at a warehouse, yet struggled to pay rent.

Other advocates we spoke with dealt with loss, like Frazier: her gay son had committed suicide. She then dedicated her life to helping LGBT people as the president of PFLAG Baton Rouge until health issues forced her to take a less active role.

All of the assembled activists had come together as a close-knit community. After Hurricane Katrina, tens of thousands of people moved to Baton Rouge and the nascent LGBT community began to solidify. The city’s first Pride celebration was held in 2007, organized by Tom Merrill and other members of Baton Rouge Pride.

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From left; Tom Merrill and Rick Cain are organizers of Baton Rouge Pride. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

After many hugs and farewells to our friendly dining companions, Michael and I left the sweltering heat of Baton Rouge and drove through the swamps of Louisiana to New Orleans.

New Orleans

After spending an evening touring the French Quarter and sampling crawfish pie and signature “hand grenade” drinks on Bourbon Street, Michael and I got some much-needed rest.

Gay life in the South

The St. Louis Cathedral in the French Quarter of New Orleans is a spot popular with tourists. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The next day, we met with activists in Metairie, La. who told us of the ups and downs of LGBT life in the New Orleans area. PFLAG New Orleans Co-President Julie Thompson, who had lost her gay son due to a medical emergency in the middle of a hurricane, beamed proudly about the time she went to Southern Decadence with him and how nice everyone was to her at gay bars. She, and the others gathered, spoke of how different everything was after Katrina and how the once-vibrant LGBT community of New Orleans was only now getting to where it was before the levees burst.

Hurricane Katrina

Co-President of PFLAG New Orleans Julie Thompson recalled many happy memories with her late gay son. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Louisiana Trans Advocates President Elizabeth Anne Jenkins told us how the destruction of the city meant the wholesale dismantling of an infrastructure for support for the local trans population, from doctors to support networks.

Elizabeth Anne Jenkins, New Orleans, Louisiana, transgender, gay news, Washington Blade

Elizabeth Anne Jenkins is the president of Louisiana Trans Advocates. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Michael and I wanted to see the devastated Lower Ninth Ward for ourselves. There were rows and rows of foundations with no houses, empty streets with only weeds on the block. But there were bright spots. The Make It Right Foundation had rebuilt a portion of the neighborhood with gleaming, eco-friendly, hurricane resistant homes.

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Several eco-friendly homes have been built in the Lower Ninth Ward. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

But, it only took a trip across the bridge to the Upper Ninth Ward to see that the region is far from recovered. Many homes remain boarded shut, overgrown with creeping vines.

Hurricane Katrina

Several homes remain shuttered in the Upper Ninth Ward of New Orleans nine years after Katrina. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

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Homes in the Upper Ninth Ward of New Orleans have been reclaimed by nature and sit abandoned. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

HIV in New Orleans

That evening, we met with peer educator Timothy Thompson of the New Orleans AIDS Task Force for dinner in the French Quarter. He told us of the problem of the stigma of an HIV-positive diagnosis driving many to avoid being tested. Many misconceptions about HIV/AIDS persist among people that Thompson had met with, including fears that HIV could be spread by sharing a meal.

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Timothy Thompson is a peer educator with New Orleans AIDS Task Force. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

In the morning, we made our last stop in New Orleans: Belle Reve. Belle Reve is a residence for people with HIV that provides medical care and helps residents to get back on their feet. Vicki Weeks, its executive director, told us of all of the programs offered at the center and proudly guided us around. She, and other staff and residents, had been through a traumatic several months living as refugees in the aftermath of Katrina. But the center is now restored and provides life-saving treatment to people who are often at the end of their rope.

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Belle Reve Executive Director Vicki Weeks shows photos of the hurricane damage to the Belle Reve facility. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

One such resident was Carl Green who had lost his job after it was discovered that he was HIV positive. He became homeless and without access to medical treatment, deteriorated rapidly. Belle Reve took him in and nursed him back to health.

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Carl Green is a resident at Belle Reve. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We also met with Miss Eddie who had ridden out Katrina in New Orleans before becoming a resident at Belle Reve.

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Miss Eddie told the Blade, ‘It’s a great blessing being here,’ in the Belle Reve facility in New Orleans. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Gulf Coast

We left New Orleans and drove to the Mississippi Gulf Coast. Where houses once stood along the shore, now only foundations remained. Many had rebuilt, but the scars of the hurricane were ever present.

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Foundations are all that remain of many homes along the Gulf Coast in Gulfport, Miss., destroyed during Hurricane Katrina. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Our first stop on the coast was to meet Jeff White and John Perkins, co-founders of the Mississippi Gulf Coast Lesbian and Gay Community Center. We shared queso and a margarita with them at a Mexican restaurant in Gulfport. They told us of how it was difficult for LGBT people to be out in any capacity in the area. They were even worried that the people in the restaurant might be looking at us. White then related a horrifying story about how he had been repeatedly raped by a teacher at his private Baptist school as an openly gay teenager to make him “hate men and change.”

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Jeff White and John Perkins are the co-founders of the Mississippi Gulf Coast Lesbian and Gay Community Center. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

We drove along the coast to a mall in nearby Biloxi, where we met with Jennifer and Jena Pierce and a trans man who preferred to remain anonymous. The Pierces married in Connecticut last December, yet lived in Mississippi. They had considered moving to a place more accepting of their relationship, but decided to stay for the sake of their young daughter who is in school. The married couple had faced discrimination on a number of occasions. Jena Pierce told us that an employee at the DMV office loudly gathered her coworkers and told her she could not change the last name on her driver’s license because the state would not recognize her marriage. The DMV worker proceeded to publicly embarrass her, leaving her sobbing in her car.

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Jennifer and Jena Pierce are a married couple in Biloxi, Miss. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Jennifer Pierce had also experienced discrimination when trying to take a family leave day to take their daughter to the doctor’s office. Her workplace wouldn’t let her go because their daughter isn’t her biological daughter — even though the people making the decision had been guests at the Pierces’ wedding reception.

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A trans man on the Gulf Coast preferred to remain anonymous but spoke to the Blade about his experience as a trans man living on the Gulf Coast. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Alabama

It was in the early evening when we pulled into the parking lot of Laps on the Causeway, a sprawling restaurant along a thin stretch of land in the middle of Mobile Bay. Michael and I battled a swarm of gnats to meet with Lane Galbraith on the outdoor deck of his favorite restaurant. The trans man who had founded LGBT Wave of Hope, a Mobile LGBT advocacy organization, told us of the pervasive closet of Alabama and the struggles of the LGBT people who live there.

Lane Galbraith, Mobile, Alabama, gay news, Washington Blade

Lane Galbraith is the founder of LGBT Wave of Hope in Mobile, Ala. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Our final leg of the trip was something that I had been looking forward to for weeks. We drove to Montgomery, Ala. to visit the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC). There was as much security at the SPLC as one would expect at the White House. After passing through many checkpoints, I wasn’t even allowed to take pictures inside the massive building. The SPLC’s precautions were well-founded however, as the watchdog organization had been targeted many times by hate groups resulting in fire bombings. We visited the Civil Rights Memorial and got background on the SPLC’s LGBT-specific cases. We met with SPLC lawyers David Dinielli and Sam Wolfe who specialize in LGBT issues.

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Southern Poverty Law Center Deputy Legal Director David Dinielli and lawyer Sam Wolfe met with the Washington Blade at the Civil Rights Memorial in Montgomery, Ala. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

After meeting with the lawyers, we were granted a visit to the SPLC’s Civil Rights Museum. Upon seeing a display that related the horrifying death of a man in an anti-gay attack, my traveling companion started sobbing. I felt a strange confluence of emotions from the mental and emotional toll our trip had taken as well. After we left the museum, we walked in silence around Montgomery. Signs of the Confederacy were all around us, including the Confederate “White House” of Jefferson Davis.

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The circular Civil Rights Memorial in Montgomery, Ala. lists martyrs to the cause of civil rights, with a blank spot left for people who came before and those who are yet to come. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

On the last day of our trip, Michael and I were both mentally exhausted, but we had one more important person to talk with. Kathie Heirs of AIDS Alabama met us in her offices in Birmingham to talk about the strides made in combatting the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the state.

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Kathie Hiers is the CEO of AIDS Alabama. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Michael and I dropped off the rental car at the airport in Birmingham and had a silent drink together while waiting on our flight back to D.C. The many stories I had heard were swirling around in my head and I was too close to it then to make sense of it. I did know two things: I would never take living in a place like Washington for granted again and I would never again succumb to the comforting lie that our full equality had already been won nationwide. The people we had met in the South were amazing and courageous and had built a community in difficult circumstances. Most all of the people we had spoken with had a sense of pride of place and felt a duty to make their town or city a more welcoming home for the next generation of LGBT people.

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a&e features

D.C.’s most eligible queer singles

It’s not too late to find a date for Valentine’s Day

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Each year, the Blade seeks our readers’ help in identifying the most eligible local queer singles. Here is this year’s list.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)


Hallie O’Rourke, 26, non-profit management, lesbian

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who is kind, loyal, intelligent, funny, and who shares my interests while also introducing me to new things. I’m looking for a long term partner who can make me laugh every day and who inspires me to be a better version of myself.

Biggest turn off: Flaky and indecisive people.

Biggest turn on: (Over) communication, taking initiative, making plans.

Hobbies: I enjoy reading and am always in search of the next great book. I also adore arts and crafts and collage frequently. I love experimenting with new mediums and exploring different art forms.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal is to be more outgoing and comfortable introducing myself to strangers. I’d love to go on more solo trips and meet new people around the world.

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither at the moment, but I am looking to get a cat in the near future.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I’d like to be with someone who shares my core political values and beliefs.

Celebrity crush? Ruby Cruz

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I’m a huge fan of “The Room” (AKA the worst movie of the 21st century) and have met two of the cast members, including the infamous Tommy Wiseau.


Danielle Pasekoff, 25, Democratic strategist and community organizer, lesbian/she/her

What are you looking for in a mate? A genuine partnership! A hopeless romantic, good listener, always down for an adventure and perpetually optimistic.

Biggest turn off: Poor communication, dishonesty, apathy, loud chewing 

Biggest turn on: NJGs (Nice Jewish Girls) 

Hobbies: Watching reality TV, running, singing in the shower, going to concerts, game nights with friends, shopping, running a community group for queer women and trans folks! Check out DC Gay Girls Plus! 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Finally make a dent in my ever-growing TBR book stack. 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither but ultimately want both. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Not in 2025!

Celebrity crush? Caitlin Clark

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I have six tattoos


Mauricio Pita, 39, actor/producer, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? Confidence, authenticity, creativity, resiliency, kindness, humor, and attraction. The rest we can figure out. 

Biggest turn off: Shame 

Biggest turn on:  A well-executed wink.

Hobbies: I love stories (movies, theater, books, poetry, gaming, music, writing, etc.) both as a receiver and a giver, dancing like no one (or everyone) is watching, and exploring new spaces. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? To see more of my family. 

Pets, kids, or neither? I have the most chill Chihuahua, I’m open to all. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It all depends, but we must agree on freedom. 

Celebrity crush? Right now, Drew Starkey from “Queer”

Name one obscure fact about yourself? My other career choices were Paleontology and Computer Science.


Portia McDaniels, 39, attorney, lesbian

What are you looking for in a mate? A thoughtful, kind monogamist woman to share life’s adventures. Willingness to laugh at my bad jokes is a plus. Find me on instagram @esqmasc 

Biggest turn off: Bad hygiene, rudeness especially to people in customer service, lateness without any warning

Biggest turn on: Effective communication, good sense of humor, loves fitness and staying active, a great signature scent 

Hobbies: Weightlifting, reading everything I’ve bought on Audible, trying new cocktail bars. During good weather, I enjoy kayaking and hiking. Soon to be: improving my Spanish and relearning Mandarin. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Hitting some new PRs in the gym, and being consistent with the gentle art (Brazilian jiu jitsu) 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither right now, but I definitely want kids. Former dog mom who would love another pooch. Not opposed to cats, but they make me sneezy. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It depends 

Celebrity crush? Janelle Monae, Zaynah Bear

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I was on NPR in college


Lily Kardell, 32, garden center manager, queer/lesbian/she/her

What are you looking for in a mate? A kind, confident soul who thrives on both independence and deep emotional connection. They’re creative and a great communicator. Their love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time. 

Biggest turn off: Mean-spiritedness and arrogance. 

Biggest turn on: Empathy, passion, and a great sense of humor

Hobbies: I play weekly in a pool league (go Troublemakers!). I also enjoy kayaking, paddleboarding, and cycling in the summer. Ice skating, reading, fiber arts, and crafting are a few of my other favorite pastimes. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? I’m starting the next chapter of my career and I’m determined to make it the best one yet! I also want to finish one of my many work in progress craft projects!  

Pets, kids, or neither? I’m all about that cool gay aunt life, but prefer to live as a pet and plant mom! I have an adorable, orange cat named Willow. She’s a rambunctious, little rescue and I love her like a daughter. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In DC?!? No! Free Palestine, Black Lives Matter, trans rights are human rights!

Celebrity crush? This is such a fun question and was somehow the hardest for me to answer. I’d have to go with Sandra Oh, Niecey Nash, and weirdly even Jeff Goldblum!

Name one obscure fact about yourself? At age 11, I won first place in the Greater Washington Soap Box Derby Race (like the large ones that you can actually sit in). We raced down Constitution Avenue and finished right next to the Capitol.


David Draper, 32, early talent acquisition recruiter, gay

What are you looking for in a mate?  I’m looking for someone who knows what he wants and is looking for someone who also knows what he wants. I’d love to find a person who works on himself and is constantly striving to improve and be the best version of himself he can be (mentally, physically, emotionally). As someone who really enjoys “downtime” and alone time I’m looking for someone who I can be around and just “be” and enjoy each other’s company. I enjoy nights out, but I have no problem calling it early-ish (like 12:30AM) and wouldn’t mind a person who likes to go out, but is also fine with leaving the bar/party early to go home and enjoy some downtime and hangout in a more peaceful environment.

Biggest turn off: My biggest turn off is assuming someone is feeling another way when they told you they were feeling one way (i.e. “Are you upset?” “No I’m not upset.” “Well you see upset.”). Another big turn off is “one upping.” This applies to both positive things as well as negative things. And when people lack empathy.

Biggest turn on: My biggest non-physical turn on is emotional intelligence, a sense of humor/quick wit, and an appreciation of sarcasm. 

Hobbies: I’m a certified Bravoholic and consider watching The Real Housewives a hobby. I also have a Peloton bike and enjoy running, so staying active is important to me. I also attend a lot of concerts and Broadway shows, so my Ticketmaster app always has at least 2-3 tickets for upcoming events at various concert venues in and around D.C. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to continue prioritizing my physical, mental, and emotional health. Toward the end of 2024, I started a journey to develop better habits around working out, eating, drinking, and sleeping. This year, I’m looking forward to maintaining and building on these healthier habits. A big milestone for me will be running my first marathon at the 2025 Chicago Marathon this fall. 

Pets, kids, or neither? I’m a proud Cat Dad to Linus and Louie. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Typically no. By no means would I expect to agree with everything, but would we need to agree on the fundamentals especially on social issues. 

Celebrity crush? Some combination of Chris Mazdzer, Jonathan Bailey, and/or Patrick (from Schitt’s Creek)

Name one obscure fact about yourself? When I was 5, I refused to re-wear pairs of socks and “demanded” to my mom that I have a new pair every day… that didn’t last. I guess you could say I was “particular.”


Finn Vigeland, 32, transportation planner, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? In no particular order: a guy who fits right in with my friends and family, whose intellect and hobbies charm me, who’s professionally motivated and loves what he does, who wants to travel with me, and who makes me laugh. 

Biggest turn off: Laziness/unprofessionalism, being uninterested in new adventures, disrespect to waitstaff, over dependence on cars 

Biggest turn on: Good dancer, takes the bus, is smart but loves a stupid joke, becomes friends with my friends in his own right 

Hobbies: Biking, board games, dance parties with friends, hosting Survivor watch parties, kickball, nerding out about transit, constructing crossword puzzles for the New York Times 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? tbh, find a boyfriend! 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither currently, open to both 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Political views are a reflection of our values. If we aren’t aligned on values, we’re not a match. 

Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey but for at least the last 10 years! I’ve been on the bandwagon!

Name one obscure fact about yourself? In college I often gave celebrities and their kids campus tours. The coolest was Rob Lowe, the most random was a Korean R&B legend who brought a camera crew; I wound up on Korean TV in a reality series about her life.


SC Nealy, 35, mental health therapist, author, business owner, queer/gender fluid

What are you looking for in a mate? Emotional intelligence, strong communication, loyalty, honesty, and a whole lot of humor 

Biggest turn off: Cannot stand the smell of weed or cigarettes. It’s just not for me to be around! 

Biggest turn on: Gentleness, passion, thoughtfulness, and quiet strength 

Hobbies: I crochet little toy animals for friends and children, and I love to write. I also love socializing with my friends and being in community. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Continue to expand my business LGBT+ Counseling Collaborative and bring accessible, queer-celebratory mental health services to the DMV area. 

Pets, kids, or neither? I have two young daughters, and a dog and a cat. I accept people’s lives as they are and whatever comes with them. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I would not. My political views are based in human dignity and equality. If that’s not something you can agree with or if money comes before people, I have no interest in exposing myself to your viewpoints.

Celebrity crush? Ruby Rose

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I won the 2024 Humanitarian of the Year Award from the Virginia Counselors Association.


Logan Dulski, 25, graphic designer, non-binary pansexual

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s kind, funny, and more than a little nerdy — someone who can commit to the bit. Bonus points if they have a solid karaoke go-to and appreciate the magic of a well-organized notion board. 

Biggest turn off: All the basic turn-offs like being rude to waitstaff or poor hygiene, but throw in being overly nonchalant. 

Biggest turn on: Someone witty, considerate, and knows what they want 

Hobbies: Playing Dungeons & Dragons (or any other ttrpgs), crochet, ballet, reading, playing video games, and tarot 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to get my tarot deck, the Community & Connection Pocket Tarot, fully funded and printed by the end of the year. 

Pets, kids, or neither? Yes to pets. Hard no to kids. 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not, especially if their views coincide with whether or not I should have basic human rights. 

Celebrity crush? Rhea Ripley, Pedro Pascal, and all of the band Sleep Token

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I took over 9 years of Mandarin lessons as a kid and still don’t know a lick of Mandarin.


Tristan Gess, 26, consultant, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s ambitious and passionate about what they do—someone who’s always chasing their goals and excited about what’s next. I love going to workout classes, trying new coffee spots, and traveling, so it’d be great to have someone who’s up for all of that too. And most importantly, I need someone who can handle a little friendly teasing but isn’t afraid to give it back. 

Biggest turn off: A big turn-off for me is when someone doesn’t take care of themselves or prioritize good hygiene. It’s not about being perfect, but I’m really drawn to people who put effort into their well-being and take pride in feeling their best. 

Biggest turn on: My biggest turn-on is someone who’s confident but also charismatic. There’s something really attractive about a person who knows their worth, carries themselves well, and can effortlessly connect with people. Confidence without arrogance and a natural charm go a long way. 

Hobbies: My hobbies include going to Barry’s and Solidcore, spending time with my family at the lake, and staying up to date with energy and sustainability initiatives around the world. I love a good workout, quality time with the people who matter most, and keeping up with ways to make a positive impact on the planet. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My goal for 2025 is to be more mindful and present in every moment. I want to trust the process, knowing that just because one door closes doesn’t mean another isn’t opening. It’s about staying grounded, making bold choices with confidence, and being open to whatever opportunities come my way. 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I feel pretty grounded and educated in my own political views, and while I’m always open to hearing new perspectives and having thoughtful discussions, I do think there’s a fine line when it comes to politics. Healthy conversations are great, but at a certain point, fundamental differences can become a deal breaker. 

Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I fell off the lower deck of a cruise ship in Turkey once!


Sisi Reid, 32, actor/dancer/theater artist/educator, Black Queer Sensual Femme, Pansexual 

What are you looking for in a mate? Compassionate and thoughtful, playful, affectionate, practices wellness (physical, spiritual, emotional, mental), loves travel, values growth and self accountability, loves traveling together, open to navigating travel and distance in our relationship (I travel for work and solo travel), a willingness to co-design a committed relationship that is non escalator/unique to us, and values peace of mind and peace in home. 

Biggest turn off: Mean/unkind, unwillingness to listen/learn something new/be curious, lack of follow up with actions, and arrogance 

Biggest turn on:  Joy/your own sense of what nourishes your joy and practices you enjoy in your alone time, whole body listening, remembering and reflecting back to me (in your own way) things I do/say, someone who has dreams and goals for themselves

Hobbies: Dancing, being in nature, traveling locally and internationally, watching tv/movies, coloring/sketching, and exploring local arts events, festivals, museums. 

What is your biggest goal for 2025? To center my physical wellness, so my mind has more peace and to make and perform my solo dance performances on international stages. 

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither 

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes, but if the views aren’t rooted in Black liberation, in justice, and a radical reimagining of these current systems, nah I don’t want that. 

Celebrity crush? Rutina Wesley

Name one obscure fact about yourself? My spirituality is nature, magical, kinky, and fueled by my imagination.

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Valentine’s gifts for the queers you love

Fragrances, X-rated sweet treats, candles, and more

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Put a little love in your heart. That’s what Jackie DeShannon encouraged with her 1969 hit song of the same name, and it’s never been more appropriate than in the context of our current state of affairs. Mute the vitriol this Valentine’s Day and concentrate on what really matters – those you love and who love you back. 

Gucci Guilty Love Edition

Sniffies? You’ll put the site on hold after a whiff of Gucci Guilty Love Edition on the nape of his neck – featuring captivating notes of juniper oil, orange flower absolute and aphrodisiatic Ambrofix – which one review claims to “make your brain sparkle like a fine Champagne.” Cheers to that. $25-$133, FragranceNet.com

Hunky Burning Love Pillow

Sweet dreams are on the docket when you rest your head on the Hunky Burning Love faux-suede square pillow printed with illustrations of shirtless himbos pining for your affection. An exercise in fantasy more than reality, but it beats sitting alone at a bar getting no attention at all. $30, ThePillowTopShop.com

Love Deck

What’s in the cards for your love life in 2025? Fuck around and find out with astrologist Lisa Stardust’s 70-card Love Deck, a tarot set of short spells, meditations and rituals designed to conjure enough love, passion, clarity and confidence to make Potion No. 9 jealous. $13, Amazon.com 

‘Making the Case for Equality’

We’ll continue to fight the good fight over the next four years and beyond – perhaps harder than ever – and Lambda Legal’s “Making the Case for Equality,” a detailed half-century history of our hard-won judicial victories, is a solid reminder of how far we’ve come in the war for LGBTQ+ rights. $45, Amazon.com

Lola Blankets

Schedule an at-home streaming marathon of this year’s Best Picture noms before the big night – there’s a lot to love in 2024’s Oscar picks – and the coziest way to settle in is all snuggled up in the squishiest Lola blankets, reminiscent of the adorable ripples of the cutest Shar Pei. Pick up a couple for the cuddle puddle. $109-$299, LolaBlankets.com

Asa Akira x Cake Life Cookies

Cue the collaboration you didn’t see coming: Adult film star Asa Akira teams up with award-winning trans-owned bakery Cake Life Bake Shop for its sweet-and-spicy Conversation Heart Sugar Cookies, featuring Akira’s XXX-tra special curated box decorated with NFSW phrases like “Cowgirl,” “Cream Pie,” and the ever-subtle “Anal” – that are sure to leave mouths agog at your Gaylentine’s get-together. $19-$21, CakeLifeBakeShop.square.site

Mind Games Candles

Since the late 1990s, the Backstreet Boys have implored us to quit playin’ games with our lovers’ hearts, which is probably why we play mind games instead – and now they come in luxury scents like Jasmine Milk, Tobacco Tonka Bean and Cherry Sandalwood, so you can enjoy mood lighting with your gaslighting. $135, MindGamesFragrance.com

Delysia Chocolates

Inspired by Greek Goddess-of-Love Aphrodite, Delysia Chocolatier’s 16-piece, limited-edition truffle collection includes four each of symbolic Passion (almond-honey-fig), Adoration (raspberry-rose petal-hibiscus), Unity (pomegranate-strawberry), and Love (spiced wine-berry) bite-size chocolates rich enough for savoring and abundant enough for sharing. $60, Delysia.com

DIY Whiskey Hot Sauce

Variety is the spice of life in Thoughtfully Gourmet’s Whiskey-Infused DIY Hot Sauce Kit that combines your favorite cereal spirit with high-quality global ingredients, like Mexican hot peppers, to create sophisticated flavor experiences of varying Scoville heat levels, handsomely housed in fancy decanters. Recipe book, spices and seasonings included; alcohol and antacids are not. $20, Amazon.com

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBTQ lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets around the world. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.

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Boomer Banks brings beats to MAL Weekend

From porn to the DJ booth, ’I’m the happiest I’ve ever been’

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Boomer Banks (Photo by Greg Endries)

If you enjoy gay adult films, there is a high likelihood you have seen or at least heard of Boomer Banks. His tattoos, muscles, masculine presence, and thick mustache have made him one of the most recognizable — and awarded — Latinx gay adult performers in the industry. This weekend, Banks heads to the nation’s capital to partake in Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend.

 As D.C. polishes its leather gay apparel for the annual MAL weekend, Banks, alongside a slew of other gay adult performers and leather lovers, is getting ready to make adult content, meet fans, buy some new leather goods, and perform in the name of sexual expression.

This year will be different for Banks compared to his past MAL weekends, though. He will still be go-go dancing as he has in years past, but this year he has a new hat on — headlining DJ. The Blade sat down with the 44-year-old performer to discuss his sex work career, the changing industry, and his passion for DJing.

On Friday night, Banks is one of three headlining DJs for the main dance event of the night, UNCUT XL. He explained that his love for music has always been there, but since the death of his best friend, with whom he connected on a shared love of music, his sets mean more than ever to him now. 

“I loved music for my whole life,” Banks told the Blade when asked about how he got started in music. “My proximity to legendary New York DJs has always been there. I lost my best friend and brother over two years ago, and it just caused a lot of changes [for me]. We both loved music so much … I was talking to one of my DJ friends [about this connection to music], and they were talking to me, and all of a sudden I’m at their studio, playing around with the controller and all that, and it just happened. Here we are, two years later, and now I’m headlining at MAL with some legendary DJs that I have been a fan of since I was young.”

Banks went on to explain that this connection and newfound passion for DJing is what has made his career shift from studio porn to a solo career easier. He also said the continued support from his house music fans has made him want to work even harder on creating memorable sets.

And create memorable sets he has. Banks has headlined events all across the country over the past two years — from Provincetown to Rehoboth Beach and even headlining Folsom, which is the biggest leather event of the year. He explained that he has one overwhelming emotion —gratitude.

“I’m really grateful that Zach [Renovatés] and everybody at Kinetic and Bunker have really taken a liking to my storytelling through music, because that’s what it is for me,” Banks said. “I like taking people on a journey. It’s usually my journey. But I read the crowd, I read energy, and I’m always smiling, and that’s the only place that I do smile. I feel like people often categorize me as intimidating, and a lot of times that’s what I got in the porn industry. But with DJing, the people are always like, ‘You’re so happy up there. You’re smiling all the time.’ And, yeah, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and it’s exciting. I love doing it, and I’m grateful and very humbled that people are seeing that this isn’t just a gimmick.”

He went on to explain that this happiness wasn’t always at the base of his work —especially when he was involved with the studio porn system with CockyBoys and Raging Stallion. Various factors, including race, he shared with the Blade, were why it was less than enjoyable at times. But it provided a platform in which he was able to grow and gave him an opportunity to help newcomers in the industry.

“When I got into porn, other brown men were not nice to me; other people of color [were not nice to me]. I thought that it would have been different. So when I was established, I made sure not to do that. I have a few little Banks boys that I nurtured into the industry, and, not to claim them, but it’s just so that they had someone to talk to because I didn’t have that.”

Despite some structural problems within the industry, Banks felt he was able to get what he needed from the career, including a paycheck and a platform.

“Porn did work out for me,” he said. “I was very fucking successful, and I was not white. I did the work, but I just couldn’t keep doing it any more. It wasn’t good for my mental health, and so I knew how to bow out. Who knows? It [studio porn days] might happen again. I don’t know, but I know for today, I love music. It’s my heart. I’m grateful for the platform that sex work gave me because it’s given me a heads up with the music.”

That music has kept him going. More specifically, New York house-style music has kept him going. Banks’s ability to take in the music he loves has made him a stronger DJ, he said. 

“’I’m a New York house DJ,” he said. “That’s the style that I bring. The craziest it gets is like tech house and maybe some early 2000s mid-2000s circuit music. It’s what I grew up with and what I love and what I like to put out there. I’m really grateful that I was not only showing up to these gigs, but I was absorbing the art that is music in a way that it seeped into my pores and my soul, that now I can share how I feel about music, and that’s exciting.”

 He touched on how although many people can be fans of DJ music, it takes more to become a successful DJ.

“The thing about music is you can’t fake music tastes. You can learn all the knobs and the technical parts of DJing, but if you’re not playing good music, and if the room isn’t vibing, it doesn’t matter.”

When asked about the current political climate—seeing as the host hotel for MAL weekend is a mere half mile from the Capitol building—Banks reflected on the importance of weekends like this for the LGBTQ community, which is increasingly facing the backlash of conservative politicians.

 “We are in uncertain times,” he said. “These are the weekends where we’re able to be who we are. And it’s unfortunate that we have to still have these events to express ourselves. Because a lot of these guys, they wait their whole year for this weekend to be able to express themselves. With what’s going on with the world, they’re basically being told that these are the only places they can. I know that in New York we live in a bubble. I know in D.C., we live in a bubble. But I want to show people that are coming from the middle of nowhere that they can have a good time, and even if it is for this weekend, they can rely on us. I want our community to know that I am here for them.”

You can find Boomer Banks headlining Friday’s main dance event UNCUT XL from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. at REPUBLIQ Hall (2122 24th Pl NE) and go-go dancing during Saturday’s PERVERT XXL party at A.I. Warehouse (530 Penn St., N.E.) from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. as well as on X @Boomer_Banks and on Instagram @baconlvr.

For more information about MAL events visit leatherweekend.com or kineticpresents.com.

Boomer Banks (Photo by Greg Endries)
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