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Todrick Hall on his ‘Oz’ show, RuPaul, ‘Kinky Boots’ and more

Busy performer returns to D.C. for two-night Howard Theatre engagement

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Todrick Hall, gay news, Washington Blade

Todrick Hall (Photo by Shawn Adeli)

Todrick Hall
 
‘Straight Outta Oz’
 
Tuesday, April 18
 
Wednesday, April 19
 
8 p.m.
 
Howard Theatre
 
620 T St., N.W.
 
$35-100

Dancer, singer and YouTuber Todrick Hall has become a dance staple with his more than two million subscribers and videos earning millions of views.

The Beyoncé stan became known as an internet sensation for his medley mashups of her songs (as well as Rihanna, Arianna Grande and Taylor Swift). His “End of Time” Target dance flash mob video, where Hall and a group of dancers bust out a choreographed dance routine on unsuspecting shoppers, even grabbed the attention of the Queen B herself. Beyoncé posted a thank you to Hall on her own YouTube page.

His credentials reach beyond YouTube with Hall competing on “American Idol” and being a guest judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Hall eventually took his talent to Broadway starring as Lola in “Kinky Boots” from November until March of this year.

The 32-year-old choreographer released “Straight Outta Oz,” a semi-autobiographical visual album in a similar vein as his idol Beyoncé’s “Lemonade,” in June with a rerelease of a deluxe edition in March. This time, the celebrities were singing Hall’s original work with appearances from RuPaul, Bob the Drag Queen, Amber Riley, Jordin Sparks, Raven Symoné, Tamar Braxton and more. “Straight Outta Oz” has now been adapted from the computer screen to stage with a live tour.

Hall took a break from rehearsing to speak with the Washington Blade on being out in the public eye, RuPaul’s life advice and just what happened to Lola’s boots.

WASHINGTON BLADE: What about “Wizard of Oz” did you feel such a personal connection to that you wanted to do your own version?

TODRICK HALL: I think subconsciously I’ve always felt that my life was parallel to Dorothy. I just didn’t realize that until last year. I grew up in a small town in Texas. I always knew there was something out there that was greater for me that I wanted to get out there and see. And that’s what Dorothy does. She knew that Oz was there. Even though she realizes in the end that there’s no place like home and that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, without those experiences she would have never realized those things. I feel like I have realized so many things and put my faith, trust and my career in other people’s hands when really I had the power all along to be able to control my destiny. I realized that and said this is a story that I have to write and tell. If I feel this way and so passionate about it, a lot of other people will feel this way and identify with this as well.

BLADE: The visual album was released in June but in March you released a deluxe edition. Did you think of the additions you made after the initial release?

HALL: No. The initial release was supposed to be much smaller, but I am a perfectionist and I always want to tell the story in full. For me, I said, “Well if you tell the story of Dorothy you have to have the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion. If you have those four characters you have to have the Wizard and the Witch.” Eventually the visual album, which was supposed to be eight songs, turned into 16 songs. When we went on tour, my fans really loved the numbers that they were getting to watch that they knew and recognized. But they weren’t able to follow along to the songs that I wrote for the musical that were not a part of the tour. It got to a place where I was like, “I really want them to be able to hear the songs and the lyrics from the songs that we performed at the live concert last year that weren’t on the visual album.” So this year I rereleased it so that the songs that they didn’t know they could learn and be familiar with.

BLADE: The deluxe album has some big names like RuPaul and Raven-Symoné. Did you reach out to them to collaborate? 

HALL: I reached out to them and I reached out very last minute. I was so thankful that they all were able to jump on board with sometimes 24-hours notice before they had to shoot the video.

BLADE: You’ve worked with RuPaul on your album and also you were a judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” for the last couple seasons. What’s the best piece of advice Ru gave you?

HALL: I don’t know if this is a piece of advice but the entire way that he looks at life. There was a moment of time when my MTV show was on television. It was airing and I was very nervous whether it would be successful. He said, “You need to live in the moment. You need to appreciate that the stars have aligned for you to have this moment and you can’t sit at home every day wondering whether or not it will be successful. It’s successful because it happened. If it doesn’t happen again, you’ll go on and have another opportunity.” My whole life I’ve always put so much pressure on each opportunity I’ve been given. We, as humans, do that often. We think that if this relationship doesn’t work, if this job isn’t the one that gets me to the top, if I don’t ace this test, then my life is over. It’s not the case. It’s a life experience. You will move on and you will be able to experience other things. That’s kind of what he taught me. So now when I’m doing a project, I give it 100 percent of my energy and then I leave that energy in that project and I say, “I hope that this does really well. But if it doesn’t, there’s a reason God gave me these gifts. So I can keep using them.” They’re not over, they’re not done, they’re not running out. I’ll go do something else. His whole insight about everything has really helped me be able to approach everything that I do with a much different lens.

BLADE: Your song “Water Guns” was a tribute to those who were lost to gun violence from the Pulse nightclub victims, to YouTuber Christina Grimmie and Trayvon Martin. All these people are parts of your identity: gay, YouTuber, black. How emotional was it for you to record?

HALL: It was very emotional for me to record. The inspiration for that song was a huge coincidence because I wrote it because I had a friend who got murdered. She was a police officer. Some people perceive that song to be a pro-Black Lives Matter song or an anti-police song. It’s not. My friend was actually an African-American police officer. She was shot and killed. I wrote the song because I’m very anti-guns and anti-violence in general. The night that I wrote the song Christina Grimmie got shot. The next night after we filmed the video the Pulse situation happened. So I went back and shot the scenes of me spray painting the names of these people because it couldn’t have been more relevant at the time that I wrote the song for my friend. That was a crazy coincidence and they both hit me really hard.

Pulse was one of my old stomping grounds. My first job out of high school was dancing at Walt Disney World. I knew a lot of people who worked at that club, I knew a lot of people who were there that night and some of the people who unfortunately didn’t make it out had pictures of me and them on their Instagram. These were people I didn’t know personally but I had met that were fans of mine and came to my concerts. It was just a very weird thing to think this was so close to home and that I could have been there that night. Every time I go to Orlando for my tours I go to Pulse afterward. It was a very scary thing for me and a really eye-opening thing to remind you how fragile life is and we should really live each day to the fullest.

BLADE: You were also on season nine of “American Idol.” You’ve mentioned before that you were concerned about being out while on the show. What made you decide to be out in your career?

HALL: When I was on the show I felt this pressure. They kept saying, “Appeal to middle America,” and what I translated that as was, “Don’t be so openly gay because that could offend people.” I don’t think they were saying it in a mean way. They just wanted me to be successful. After I was eliminated I realized that I got eliminated being someone I wasn’t. I would rather have been eliminated from the show for really showing people who I was. There was nothing I could have thought that was a worse feeling than getting eliminated when I didn’t even recognize the person that I was being on television. I vowed to myself after that, “I will be 100 percent myself and I will be out waving my flag and letting people know who I am.”

I felt it wasn’t important because it wasn’t any of their business. But it’s so important because it gives people that are coming out the confidence to say, “Well if Todrick did it, I can do it. If RuPaul did it, I can do it. If Joey Graceffa, Tyler Oakley, Kingsley and all these people who are such huge influencers online can do it than I can do it as well. There is a place for me in the entertainment industry and I don’t have to hide.” Like Colton Haynes has come out and is being celebrated and I hope and pray it doesn’t do anything negative for his career. He should not only be considered for gay roles, he should be able to play any role that he wants because that’s what actors do. It was very important for me to come and say who I truly am and I would rather maybe not reach the level of success I could have pretended to be straight. I’d rather reach the level of success that I can as the real me and be happy and free to be who I am.

BLADE: You just mentioned quite a few gay YouTubers. As a gay YouTuber yourself, what are your thoughts on the recent controversy of YouTube censoring LGBT content on its restricted mode?

HALL: I don’t know all the details. I don’t like to comment when I’m not educated on something. I was releasing my album during the time that this happened and flying from coast to coast. So I didn’t really get all the information about this. But I am positive that the gay community is so strong that if anything like that were to ever happen we would be able to get it banned and YouTube wouldn’t stand for it. YouTube has an entire department that is dedicated to the LGBTQ community. They do so much research and so much to help our community that I don’t believe this will stand.

BLADE: You have been busy. You just finished your run as Lola on Broadway in, “Kinky Boots.” Did they let you keep the boots?

HALL: Yes they did. My boots might be making a quick appearance in my upcoming tour as well.

BLADE: How do you go about translating the visual album to the stage?

HALL: It’s not a difficult transition for me because I love theater. As I was writing all the songs and shooting the videos I was already thinking of ways to bring it to life on stage. It’s not very complicated. The story kind of tells itself and the staging and a lot of the choreography is the same. We just have transitions that are not on the album still. There are three or four songs that you can only hear on the tour. I think it’s really fun to bring all those things to life on stage in front of everyone.

BLADE: How does it feel to bring “Straight Outta Oz” to D.C.?

HALL: D.C. is just one of my favorite cities to perform in. I love how much D.C. supports its fine arts. I love how much effort and energy they spend to make sure there are theaters there for people to perform in. I love specifically how the Howard Theatre is such a historical venue. It’s such a landmark for people who are African-American performers. I’m so honored to join the roster of legends of people who have performed there before me. There’s something about the energy in that building that just feels really epic. I’m so grateful to be able to get on that stage and share the story of a proud, gay black man. I think it’s very progressive and beautiful and I appreciate D.C. for supporting me the way they do.

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The mastery of love

The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner, but in Rehoboth Beach, he has a story entirely his own

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Eric Anderson and Billy Porter met at a Christmas party and ended up talking until the sun came up. (Photo courtesy of Eric Anderson)

The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner. In Rehoboth Beach, Del., he has a life — and a story — entirely his own.

My first time with Eric Anderson was hot — very hot. Before he arrived, I sat waiting, overthinking everything. When he finally appeared in a loose-fitting T-shirt and purple shorts, I understood why he attracts attention. Eric is the kind of man who changes the energy of a room simply by entering it.

After a quick hello, we got right to it. Techno pulsed through the room as Eric told me how to move, where to place my hands, when to breathe. My heart pounded. My muscles ached. I bent, twisted, and stretched while sweat ran down my back and burned my eyes. I didn’t bother wiping it away.

To be clear, Eric and I were not alone. Five other people were with us — and the yoga studio at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach was heated to 87 degrees.

“If you are always racing toward the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?” Eric asked, opening his power yoga class and inviting us to leave whatever had followed us through the door and surrender to the present. Surrender did not come easily. At 58, I’ve done enough yoga to know the difference between discomfort and imminent death. Halfway through Eric’s relentless flow, the distinction began to blur.

A playlist of techno and remixed pop — including “Live Like You Were Dying” — carried us from one demanding pose to the next. Eric moved among the mats with the energy of a nightclub DJ and the calm of someone who trusted our bodies to go further than our minds believed possible. Nearly an hour later, when the music softened and I collapsed onto my back in savasana, he laid a cool cloth across my forehead. I exhaled — relieved, and maybe a little disappointed, that my first time with Eric was over.

At the end of my mat, a handwritten note congratulated me on my first class and invited me back — a small benediction after the storm. Then Eric closed the class by repeating the question with which he’d opened. For a man whose relationship with actor and singer Billy Porter has drawn him unexpectedly into the public eye, it sounded less like a yoga mantra than a personal creed.

The next time I meet Eric, there is air conditioning and caffeine. We are at Starbucks, where I deliberately order the largest drinks available, as though volume alone might buy me more time. He chooses a matcha, and I order herbal tea. My heart is pounding again, faster than the soft rock drifting from the speakers above us. Although I’ve already spent more than an hour with Eric, I know almost nothing about the man I’m about to interview.

Neither, it seems, does anyone else.

Celebrity outlets offer a handful of biographical details: a Rehoboth Beach teacher and yoga instructor with a master’s degree from Columbia University. Gay publications have been less restrained. One introduced him as Billy Porter’s “total hot stud,” called him “a snacc,” and praised his ability to “rock a Speedo.” Queerty distilled Eric’s identity to five words: “Porter is dating a teacher.”

All of it tells me how the world sees him. None of it tells me who he is.

I know from our text exchanges that Eric is slammed for time. He is scheduled to travel to New York later that day and fly to WorldPride Amsterdam the following afternoon. Billy is among the headliners for the opening-night Unity Concert and is also slated to perform at the Wedding Party XXL alongside KI/KI, Bimini, and the Vengaboys. Eric still has to pack. This, I’m beginning to understand, is part of loving someone famous: there is almost always an itinerary, another city, and a specific time and place Billy needs to be. Even here, with two untouched drinks between us, the clock is ticking.

Eric Anderson (Photo courtesy of Eric Anderson)

As soon as we sit down, I open my laptop, ready to get to work. My mind is focused on the list of questions I’ve prepared, and I’ve already anticipated the shape of most of his responses. Then I look up and see Eric sitting perfectly still, smiling, and taking in the moment. He hasn’t even taken a sip of his matcha yet.

I quietly close my laptop and breathe.

Within minutes, the interview softens into a conversation.

Eric earned a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Delaware and a master’s in public school leadership from Teachers College, Columbia University. He began his career teaching mathematics before moving into school administration, eventually serving as vice president of the Charter School of Wilmington and head of school at Sussex Academy. Today, he teaches mathematics and social studies in the Cape Henlopen School District. He also coaches soccer and leads yoga classes at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach.

His return to the classroom was deliberate. Eric knows some people assumed there must be a story behind his leaving administration—that he had done something wrong or that teaching represented a demotion.

“I want to make it clear that I went back to teaching by choice,” he says.

As a child, Eric played school. Teaching has always felt natural to him, less like an occupation than an expression of who he is. Administration was different.

“It felt like work,” he says. “It wasn’t where my passion was, and it didn’t bring me joy. Going back into the classroom was simply me choosing joy.”

The more Eric talks, the clearer it becomes that teaching is not merely a job but a vocation. His mother is white and his father is Black, and growing up biracial was not always easy. “I saw the best and the worst of both,” he tells me. Those experiences helped shape his desire to become a teacher — to be the kind of person who could make a meaningful difference in a young person’s life.

Just then, Eric glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with someone across the room. He waves and flashes what is quickly becoming his signature smile. My first thought is that someone has recognized him as Billy Porter’s partner.

I’m wrong. It’s one of his former students.

Inevitably, our conversation turns to love — and to Billy. I’ve made it clear that I’m here to write about Eric, not Billy Porter. But separating the two entirely would be as artificial as defining Eric only by their relationship. Billy is now an essential part of his story.

Eric met Billy at a Christmas party hosted by mutual friends who had been trying to introduce them all night. It wasn’t easy — the party was crowded, and the two men never quite crossed paths. Eric stayed for the afterparty, where a friend nudged him and nodded toward the room: Billy was looking his way. Romance never crossed his mind.

Eventually, they started talking. Eric has never had much patience for small talk, and he wasn’t interested in cataloging which celebrities Billy knew. He skipped it entirely and went straight for the deeper questions — what Billy believed, how he saw the world, what mattered to him. They ended up at the kitchen table, trading life philosophies until 5 a.m.

What struck Eric most wasn’t the conversation’s length. It was its depth. Billy wasn’t who he expected. Neither was the conversation. By the time the sun was coming up, Eric was less surprised that they’d talked all night than by how much, it turned out, they had in common.

They had dinner the following evening, and Billy invited Eric to spend the weekend with him in New York. There, Billy took him to see Nicole Scherzinger in “Sunset Boulevard.” Right before the show started, he casually introduced Eric to a friend named Katy. Back in their seats, Eric asked how Billy knew her.

“BITCH,” Billy replied, “that is Miss K-A-T-Y P-E-R-R-Y!”

For all the glamour surrounding their courtship, Eric describes the foundation of their relationship in decidedly spiritual terms. His favorite book is don Miguel Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love, which explores how fear, expectation, and the need for approval can distort relationships. Its philosophy closely resembles Eric’s own.

On the surface, Eric and Billy inhabit different worlds. Eric is a deeply spiritual teacher rooted in a small coastal Delaware town. Billy is a celebrated actor and performer whose larger-than-life persona commands stages around the world. But when I ask Eric how the relationship works, he doesn’t hesitate.

“I know that I can be my authentic self with him, and he can be his with me,” he says. “We love each other unconditionally.”

The words could sound rehearsed. Coming from Eric, they don’t.

The red carpets, famous faces, and international travel are not what matter most.

“It’s all about the people,” he explains. “I love Billy’s family and friends, and he loves mine.”

Authenticity surfaces repeatedly in our conversation — not as an abstract ideal, but as Eric’s determination to trust what feels right for him, even when other people may not understand it. I tell him about growing up in Pittsburgh and spending much of my life trying to fit the person I was into the person the world expected me to be. Eric listens intently, then pauses before responding.

“Fuck the system.”

It is blunt, funny, and entirely consistent with the man sitting across from me. Dating Billy may have dramatically increased the number of strangers who have opinions about Eric, but it hasn’t increased the number whose opinions matter to him. He is remarkably unconcerned with what people he doesn’t know think — or say — about him. The attention is new. His response to it is not.

For Eric, authenticity isn’t about asking the world for permission to be yourself. It’s about deciding that permission was never the world’s to give.

That instinct—to look inward rather than outward for permission — predates Billy.

Eric initially turned to yoga for a practical reason: he wanted to improve his physical performance on the soccer field. It didn’t take long for him to realize that something else was happening. Yoga was strengthening his body, but it was also grounding him.

Over time, the physical practice became inseparable from the mental one. The poses, the heat, even the strength required to hold his body in place became less important than learning how to quiet the noise around him, stay present, and listen to himself. The man who had pushed me through an hour of sweat and discomfort wasn’t simply teaching people how to move their bodies. He was asking them to practice something he had learned to do himself.

That sense of being grounded has become particularly important in a relationship that often requires two people to live very different lives. Eric is quick to point out that he and Billy have separate careers, separate ambitions, and goals entirely their own. Neither expects the other to abandon an individual life simply because they have chosen to build a relationship together.

When Billy left for London to star in “Cabaret,” distance became part of their routine. They FaceTimed every day, a practice they continue whenever they are apart.

“I tell Billy everything,” Eric says.

Being authentic with Billy doesn’t require the two men to become more alike. If anything, the opposite seems true. They are comfortable following their own career paths, living separate lives when circumstances require it, and giving each other the freedom to pursue what matters individually. Then they come back together — not because either has put his own life on hold, but because they have chosen to share those lives with each other.

When we finally look at the time, nearly 90 minutes have passed. Eric still needs to pack. New York is waiting, Amsterdam after that, and somewhere there is undoubtedly an itinerary telling Billy exactly where he needs to be and when.

But for a while, neither of us was racing toward the next moment.

We were fully inside the one we were in.

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What ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’ can still teach us

Producer David Collins on lasting impact of hit series

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David Collins (Photo courtesy of Collins)

It’s hard to imagine where LGBTQ+ television would be without “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” the trailblazing reality series that premiered in 2003. 

Each episode of this Emmy-winning show saw a group of gays converge on a struggling man — the titular straight guy — and offer nonstop wit while organizing his endlessly messy life. This program about a group of homosexual helpers took the world by storm, furthering the love of gay television begun by shows like “Will and Grace” but bringing it into the growing medium of reality TV. Of course, it wasn’t perfect; “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” often cast its experts less as multi-faceted queer folks and more as sources of early 2000s gay jokes. But despite these pitfalls, it’s undeniable that the original program explored the realities of being gay in a way audiences had never seen before. It was a monumental piece of LGBTQ+ representation, and its success is largely owed to the man who fought to get this show made: producer David Collins. 

Collins spoke with the Blade from his Los Angeles home, where he’s spent the past few years living with his husband and his two daughters. David spoke fondly of his many years in the industry, detailing how it feels to be such a huge part of LGBTQ+ history. He explained, however, that he didn’t initially set out to alter how queer people were seen on television. “I never went out to make gay television,” said the producer. “I went out to tell great stories.”

“I’m a hillbilly from Ohio, and I thought I was going to be an editor,” David laughed, looking back on his career. “I interned at the Cincinnati Film Office, and I showed up to work my very first day, and the film commissioner was like, ‘Get to the airport right now and pick [someone] up. Don’t talk to them.’ Well, I ended up picking up Jodie Foster.” Collins raved about this car ride that changed his life, with the pair becoming friends and Foster pushing him to become a producer who puts their own media out into the world. Eventually, he did just that, and after learning about the wild new genre that was reality TV, he pitched a series to Bravo: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” 

“I was obsessed with Esquire magazine, and they had five categories: fashion, grooming, interior design, culture, food, and wine. So I gave them each a gay, and the Fab Five were born!” Collins said, describing how viewers quickly fell in love with the concept and earned the program four seasons and an Emmy for Outstanding Reality Program. He spoke about how proud he felt creating a show that centered real gay people, not characters in a story, remembering, “To stand in the middle of Times Square and look up and see this massive billboard with the original Queer Eye guys…it wasn’t even a dream come true, because it wasn’t a dream I had even fathomed.”

With his series, people were watching actual gay men and learning the realities of a queer culture that had always been portrayed as a danger to society. Collins tearfully recounted hearing about queer people using the show as a way to connect with their family, saying, “What I’m most proud of that’s come out of Queer Eye [are] the conversations that that series has allowed to have people around their kitchen tables with little boys in Ohio like me who were scared to death that they were going to burn in hell because their pastor was telling them that they were a sinner.”

Now, for all of its trailblazing, the program wasn’t wholly positive; the show’s focus on the central ‘straight guy’ meant it rarely delved into the lives of its Fab Five. Collins regretted that lack of depth but understood that earlier audiences weren’t accustomed to such a nuanced look into queerness — that would have to wait for the reboot. 

When “Queer Eye” came out in 2018, audiences were introduced to not only a new Fab Five, but a whole new format (that didn’t rely on a straight person). Now, the series would assist queer folks and allies alike, spotlighting these individuals as well as the queer experts helping them improve their lives. The show has been applauded for its amazing makeovers, but where it truly stands out is its representation, offering a look into individuals across the country and the struggles — along with the immense joys — of being queer in America today.

Fans were disappointed to hear that “Queer Eye” would be ending after its 10th season, but David stressed that they wouldn’t have to be sad for long. “What I will say to you is this: hang tight,” he teased. “There’s yet another version of ‘Queer Eye’ to come, and we’re working on that now.” In the meantime, Collins is continuing his work with new shows like the “House of Stassi,” a series centered on “Vanderpump Rules’”prolific waitress. He’s excited about these new projects, but emphasized that his heart will always belong to “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” and all that it continues to do for viewers 19 years after its finale. 

“It’s not about your new outfit or your new couch or your new whatever. It’s about your humanity,” said Collins, speaking about the core lesson he hopes people take away from the Queer Eye franchise. “It’s about seeing yourself. It’s about dignity. It’s about how confidence breeds success.”

A valuable message that queer folks can benefit from even more now than they did in 2003. And, while it’s unclear just what lies ahead for this franchise, one thing is for sure: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” helped people everywhere understand the power that exists within our queerness. It’s a truth that has impacted countless pieces of LGBTQ+ television today, and it’s one that Collins promises to keep alive through whatever hit show he creates next. 

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Jason DePuy on coping with homophobia in ‘Big Brother’ house

First drag queen contestant on CBS show fought to stay positive

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Jason DePuy on Big Brother (Photo courtesy of CBS Broadcasting,Inc.)

One week after Jason DePuy (known as Salina EsTitties on “RuPaul’s Drag Race”) was bullied and eventually evicted from CBS’s “Big Brother” house, the queer drag performer is still emotionally processing his feelings.

During his 24 days in the reality TV competition, DePuy often had a rough time, with fellow cast member Kamuela “Kamu” Kirk making homophobic comments and feeling isolated.

In a conversation with Head of Household Rick Devens, Kirk left viewers upset when he said, “Bro, miss me with the drag stuff. Miss me. I’m still an MMA guy, and I have an image to uphold.”

Former “Big Brother” contestant Frankie Grande called his words  ‘homophobic’ and ‘gross.’ Another comment, where Kirk said he wanted to end DePuy’s career, also received strong backlash online.

Now that he is out of the house, DePuy has been shocked and deeply touched by the love from “Big Brother” fans and former contestants. We chatted with DePuy for this Blade exclusive.

“To know that my community was rallying for me outside the house was the most wonderful thing. Seeing how much people were just wanting to shower me with love was incredible. Even my friends, I went to say hi and give them a hug, and they’re like, ‘Uh, uh, come here.’ They had to hold me and let me know America was feeling for me in a way that I had no idea.”

He added: “To see that reality was just overwhelming, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

Known as a messy player in the house, DePuy often had to fight to stay positive and stand up for himself. 

“No one was coming to my rescue. In real life, it’s easy to block people, but in the house, I didn’t have that luxury, so I had to find it within myself to learn how to speak up for myself in a way that wasn’t nasty or biting. I didn’t attack anyone personally, which is what I was the most proud of.”

DePuy acknowledged he has had a history of putting his foot in his mouth when it came to certain “Drag Race”moments, being in the public eye, and making a fool of himself. “I’ve learned my lessons; to see how I handled myself in the ‘Big Brother’ house was amazing.” 

While DePuy has been sober for 14 and a half years and has a strong spiritual foundation, in the Big Brother house, he often felt like he couldn’t communicate what he was feeling. 

“As a queer person, a person of color, a drag queen, I have to be very careful about how I move. I don’t have the luxury or privilege to just act a certain way or say a certain thing. I have to be very careful; I’m representing me. But who I am is a Latino, a person of recovery, a drag queen, a queer person in the community. I know that there’s a lot of pressure that comes with that. I felt it was safer for me to sit there and just breathe than try to do anything crazy.”

He continued: “I couldn’t speak to the personal attack that was happening in the house, because in my mind I was like, ‘no, this is a game, and I have to play it, put that aside.’”

Not only can viewers watch the episodes, but they can also watch the live feeds of what’s happening. Seeing the fans’ social media posts from people who had watched the episodes and the live feeds also contributed to DePuy realizing that his feelings of discomfort were valid.

“To know that I wasn’t delusional in those moments, that others could see what was happening, has been a lot to take in. Fans and friends let me know the comments made went beyond the game…I’m like, ‘Oh, so my instincts were correct.”

One of the most poignant moments on the live feeds occurred when DePuy was crying, alone in his room, and said how he missed his gay community.

“I really missed my friends. I missed my queer community. We’re so colorful. We’re so loud. We’re so vibrant. We speak off the cuff, and we’re very truthful and honest with how we speak, and it’s fun. We have fun lingo.”

DePuy had to censor his expressions in the house. “Because I can say one thing, but it can mean something different to straight people than it does with my queer brothers and sisters. So, there was a sense of code-switching that I had to do. I had to even put aside some of my queerness in a way sometimes to fit in.”

DePuy was thrilled to be the very first drag queen to ever be cast on the show. 

“I’m honored to have been chosen. There’s a million drag queens out there, and to know that I was a contender to come in the house and not even be in drag was like a wow for me. I’m over here in Hollywood, running around these streets with a wig and heels just to make a dollar to survive, and I have to rely on drag to do that. And then to be offered this opportunity and be given the privilege to say, ‘hey, you don’t have to put on the wig for you to be valuable here,’ is just insane to me.”

Prior to his shows, DePuy has been hustling for 15 years, flipping burgers and doing drag at night.

“That has been my life these past since I was 17. So it’s been a long journey; the opportunity to do this out of drag is a very big blessing. I’m honored and grateful to be the representation of my community.”

If you missed Jason on “Big Brother: Unlocked,” the episode can be seen on CBS.com. He will be back on the show for the finale.

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