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Gay YouTuber becomes mayor of Hell, Michigan, bans straight people from town

the comedian was impeached just a few hours later

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Gay YouTube comedian Elijah Daniel embarked on a short political career when he became mayor of Hell, Michigan and then was impeached a few hours later for banning straight people from the town.

Daniel, 23, kicked off his aspirations with a simple tweet musing how far he could make it in politics.

He told The Huffington Post he discovered that Hell, Michigan would swear someone in as mayor for just $100. Daniel took the opportunity and found himself the mayor of the small town.

Daniel’s first order of business was to ban straight people from the town. He told The Huffington Post a certain political figure’s ban was his inspiration.

ā€œMy ban is a copy-and-paste of Trumpā€™s Muslim ban, but with heterosexuals instead,ā€ Daniel says.

ā€œGrowing up, I was always told that homosexuals would go to Hell,ā€ Daniel’s proclamation reads. ā€œNow the heterosexuals are trying to take that from us too.ā€

ā€œI am establishing new vetting measures to keep radical heterosexuals out of our town,ā€ Daniel continued. ā€œWe want to ensure that we are not admitting into our town the very heterosexual threats we are fighting against. The straights coming into our town procreating, having more straight children to take our rightfully gay jobs. We only want to admit those into our town who will support our town and love deeply our people. I currently feel as if it would just be safer to ban all heterosexuality until we can access the situation further and build a strategy to resolve our problem.”

Daniel was willing to allow heterosexuals currently residing in Hell to stay for a price. Straight people would have to pay $84,000 as a “reproductive precautionary deposit, which will be returned after one year of abstinence from any heterosexual activities.”

He also offered aĀ ā€œheterosexual reparative therapy programā€ for straight people to ā€œdenounce their heterosexualityā€ and ā€œbecome gay like the rest of the town.ā€

Any heterosexuals who didn’t participate in the program would be required to meet in the town center at 5:30 a.m. every day to be publicly “straight-shamed” wearing a scarlet “H” and cargo shorts.

Daniel’s mayoral office run was short-lived. Following his mayoral proclamation, Daniel was impeached.

He had no hard feelings about his removal from office and encouraged Trump to try it.

Now, Daniel has a travel destination in mind for the president.

“Itā€™s a great place to visit,ā€ Daniel told The Huffington Post. ā€œDonald Trump should go to Hell anytime.ā€

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Calendar

Calendar: February 7-13

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, February 7

ā€œCenter Aging Friday Tea Timeā€ will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Go Gay DC will host ā€œFirst Friday LGBTQ+ Community Social in the Cityā€ at 7 p.m. at P.F. Changs. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, February 8

Go Gay DC will host ā€œLGBTQ+ Community Brunchā€ at 11 a.m. at Freddieā€™s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

ā€œFashion Freewayā€ will be at 11 a.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. Guests will have the opportunity to check out the clothing closet. Clothes, shoes, accessories, and other items will be available. For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Sunday, February 9

Go Gay DC will host ā€œLGBTQ+ Community Dinnerā€ at 6:30 p.m. at Federico Ristorante Italiano. Guests are encouraged to come enjoy an evening of Italian-style dining and conversation with other LGBTQ folk. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Go Gay DC will host ā€œLGBTQ+ Coffee and Conversationā€ at 12 p.m. at As You Are. This event is ideal for making meaningful new connections and informal community building. Or just to unwind and enjoy the group happy hour. Fabulous people from all over the world are expected. Nametags will be provided. This event is free to attend and more details are available on Eventbrite.Ā 

Monday, February 10

ā€œCenter Aging Monday Coffee & Conversationā€ will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary. Whether youā€™re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that youā€™re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.Ā 

Tuesday, February 11

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. By sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Trans Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is intended to provide emotionally and physically safe space for trans* people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another.Ā  For more details, email [email protected].Ā 

Wednesday, February 12

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking ā€” allowing participants to move away from being merely ā€œapplicantsā€ toward being ā€œcandidates.ā€ For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, February 13

The DC Centerā€™s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.Ā 

Virtual Yoga with Charles M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breath work, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Communityā€™s website.

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Nightlife

D.C.ā€™s queer bars gear up for Valentineā€™s Day

Options for bears, singles, women, and more

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Join District Eagle this Valentineā€™s Day for Leather Lovers Gear Night. (Photo courtesy of the District Eagle)

Seeing red: itā€™s not just for ire toward the presidentā€™s Executive Orders. Next week is also Valentineā€™s Day. Your faithful gay bars and establishments are gearing up (in some cases, literally) for the holiday. Here is a list of just a few options for the LGBTQ+ set.

Crush

On Feb. 14, Crush debuts a new event, just in time for the holiday. Meet Grizzly, a monthly Bear Happy Hour. Running 5-10 p.m., Grizzly features not only discounted drinks ($4 draft, $8 pitcher, and a $9 Bear Crush), but food: there will be free hot dogs during the evening. Without skipping a beat, later that night is a Valentineā€™s Day Stop Light Party 10 p.m. with DJs. They’ll have green, yellow, or red stickers so your crush can see if you’re available. Thereā€™s no cover for either.

Bunker

This Valentineā€™s Day, Bunker is turning tradition on its head with F*CK CUPID, a high-energy celebration for those over the holiday hype. Whether you’re flying solo or just want to skip the clichĆ©s, enjoy an unforgettable night with a special performance by a to-be-announced local drag queen and a dynamic set by Miscalculated. With free entry for singles and just a $5 cover for couples, it’s the perfect chance to dance the night away without the romance-themed distractions.

District Eagle

Join District Eagle this Valentineā€™s Day for Leather Lovers Gear Night, an inclusive event for all members of the leather community. DJ Jason James will provide the beats throughout the night, and guests wearing gear can enjoy 10% off drinks until midnight. Whether you’re single, taken, or in a situationship, everyone is welcome to celebrate in a welcoming, gear-friendly environment.

Number Nine

Nine is also launching a new event, titled Single Mingle, a singles mixer, the event will rotate theme for differing tastes. This first event takes place on Feb. 13, 7-9 p.m., upstairs, for those interested in dating queer men. Tickets are $15 and include a complimentary first drink plus ice breakers. On Thursday, Feb. 27, along with DC Gay Girls+, Nine will host a Single Mingle event for those interested in dating in the Sapphic community.

Additionally, Uproar will host a ā€œCupid Undiesā€ event on Feb. 13 with cocktail specials; Licht is offering a ā€œDate Nightā€ special that includes two cocktails, two glasses of Champagne, and a cheese board for $35; and gay-owned Wunder Gartenā€™s event on Feb. 14 is apres-ski themed with drinks like Love Potion and Cupidā€™s Arrow.

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Theater

Celebrate Valentineā€™s Day with one of these three plays

ā€˜Waitress,ā€™ ā€˜Love Birds,ā€™ ā€˜Fuenteovejunaā€™ offer differing takes on love

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MALINDA plays Jenna in ā€˜Waitressā€™ at Olney Theatre Center.

For theatergoers seeking to mark Valentineā€™s Day with live music, love, and friendship, the DMV offers some new spins on traditional themes. 

Poised to make its regional debut at Olney Theatre Center, Sara Bareillesā€™s hit musical ā€œWaitressā€ (Feb.13-March 30) may not seem like a usual love story, but itā€™s a love story nonetheless. 

ā€œItā€™s about learning to love and value yourself,ā€ says MALINDA who plays Jenna, the showā€™s titular server/baker with aspirations to bake prize-winning pies and change her life. ā€œItā€™s also about sisterhood. From the start, the women involved in the show decided to be there for each other onstage and off, and it shows. For anyone with girl group love in their lives, this is an especially good show to see.

ā€œJenna doesnā€™t get a lot of satisfaction out of her primary partnership. Along with self-love she explores the antithesis of that ā€” partner violence. Our director [Marcia Milgrom Dodge] took the lesson of community support and community love to heart.ā€

Prior to coming out as bisexual in 2022, MALINDA considered herself more of a “quiet queer.ā€ However, the inspiration derived from Irish music (“music of the oppressedā€), which sheā€™s famed for singing on TikTok, compelled her to go public. 

She didnā€™t always believe her queerness to be special: ā€œFor me,ā€ MALINDA says, ā€œit was like saying my eyes are hazel. There wasnā€™t much to celebrate. But then I realized there were missing voices in my community. Felt like the right thing to do, and itā€™s been one of the great blessings of my life.ā€

Six years ago, after her Helen Hayes Award-winning turn in ā€œOnce,ā€ MALINDA took a break from musical theater. She needed time to age into dream parts, and one of those roles was Jenna. She recalls, ā€œGoing back to theater was prominently featured on my vision board, so when Marcia asked me to commit to ā€˜Waitress,ā€™ I happily agreed.ā€ 

For her, Valentineā€™s Day is an opportunity to reach out and tell friends, family, and, of course, romantic partners, just how much you love them. 

And she adds ā€œthatā€™s exactly how I plan to celebrate.ā€ 

D.C.ā€™s delightful Holly Twyford is spending Valentineā€™s Day working at the Folger on Capitol Hill. Sheā€™ll be on stage, her wife will be in the audience, and depending on the length of the program, theyā€™ll go out to dinner afterward.

For four performances, the multi-Helen Hayes award-winning actor is serving as narrator for ā€œThe Love Birdsā€ (Feb. 14-16), a new Folger Consort work that blends medieval music with a world-premiere composition by acclaimed composer Juri Seo and readings from Geoffrey Chaucerā€™s ā€œA Parlement of Foulesā€ by Twyford. 

Standing behind a podium, sheā€™ll read Chaucerā€™s words (translated from Middle English and backed by projected slides in the original language), alternating with music played on old and new instruments.  

ā€œThe new music is kind of dissonant with the sounds of birdcalls and nature sounds, painting a picture of whatā€™s going on in Chaucerā€™s poem thatā€™s beautiful and funny. Chaucer describes the male eagles pleading for the hand of the female eagle. Chaucer seems almost unwittingly feminist when he has the female eagle ask her eagle suitors to give her a year to think about it.ā€

GALA Hispanic Theatre in Columbia Heights presents ā€œFuenteovejunaā€ (through March 2), a timely production staged by out director JosĆ© Luis Arelleno. Penned in 1613, this work from the Spanish Golden Age ranks among playwright Lope de Vega’s most performed plays.

Itā€™s about tyranny and love, Arellano explains. Within Lope de Vegaā€™s timely tale of brutish power lies an intense love story. In fact, at the top of the show, four characters, two males and two females play a game. What is love? One of the players asserts that love doesnā€™t exist, while the others disagree. Itā€™s a charming way to kick off the play.

The celebrated director isnā€™t one to telegraph messages, preferring audiences think for themselves. That said, he does, of course, make strong directorial choices: ā€œIf I have to choose between love or war, itā€™s more important to talk about love. For me, itā€™s a revolution.ā€ 

And apropos of a Valentineā€™s Day date, GALAā€™s production of ā€œFuenteovejunaā€ (performed in Spanish with English surtitles) is imbued with live music and verse, an important part of any romantic experience, adds David Peralto, the productionā€™s poetry and verse consultant as well as Arellanoā€™s longtime partner. 

The busy Spain-based couple will celebrate Valentineā€™s Day in Seville and couldnā€™t be happier. Arellano describes Seville as the most romantic city in the world.

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