Arts & Entertainment

Say Anything lead singer Max Bemis opens about his sexuality

The performer also announces the band will be on hiatus

Published

8 years ago

August 20, 2018

Mariah Cooper

Say Anything lead singer Max Bemis (Photo via Wikimedia Commons)

Say Anything lead singer Max Bemis has opened up about his sexuality in a candid letter to fans.

In the nine-page letter titled “A Goodbye Summation,” Bemis, who also has been open about his bipolar disorder, says that he identifies as “bi-ish” or “queer.”

“I have always been bi-ish or queer or a straight guy who can also like boys,” Bemis, 34, writes. “I always talked or joked about it with my friends and found it to be blatantly clear I was. I was bullied for it and called a ‘fag’ (without irony). This is, sadly, common. I’m not special. I even went so far as to tell people I was also attracted to guys repeatedly. They chalked it up to my bipolar shit, which was hurtful.”

Bemis goes on to explain how people trivialized his sexuality because he fell in love with and married his wife Sherri Dupree-Bemis.

“They also minimized it because I found true love early in life, and saw that as a negation of my sexuality, or at least a minimization of my right to even identify as bisexual or queer. Because I don’t want to hook up with guys. But I also didn’t hook up with a lot of girls. I wanted to fall in love with a woman, so I did,” Bemis writes.

He concluded about his sexuality,” So yeah, I’m a queer, Jewish, Christian skeptic pseudo-anarchist with a belief in metaphysics and the application of ‘magical’ stuff. Woof.”

Bemis also announced the ending of an era for his band Say Anything.

“Our plans as a collective are to, kind of sort of, end Say Anything,” Bemis writes.. ” Or ‘the first era of Say Anything’. Whatever you want to call it, it’s that thing.” However, he says the band will return to “to play festivals and scoff at our career.”

Say Anything will release its new album “OLIVER APPROPRIATE” but there will be no tour in promotion of the album. The character of Oliver on the album is meant to be a reflection of Bemis’ own struggle with his sexual identity.

“I chose to write a full length about a self-loathing, slightly homophobic misogynist; essentially my opposite as a semi-actually-kinda-gay neurotic moralist who has been married to the female love of my life for ten years,” Bemis describes the character. “A man who kisses boys at beer-soaked coke parties as some kind of ironic joke instead of because he actually allows himself to find them attractive in an emotional sense.”

Say Anything is Saying Goodbye. Thank you for everything. But there’s more to come. Let’s celebrate and feel this together. Follow the link for all the details. First news item on our site with a novella of a PDF to peruse that explains everything. https://t.co/tgwdvaTGGe

— Max Bemis (@maxbemis) August 16, 2018

Photos

PHOTOS: Lambda Legal in the Pines

Fundraiser held at ‘Normal Heart’ house

Published

7 hours ago

July 31, 2026

Guest photographer

A scene from the 'Lambda Legal in the Pines' fundraiser on July 25. (Photo by Santiago Felipe)

The LGBTQ organization Lambda Legal held its annual “Lambda Legal in the Pines” fundraiser on Saturday, July 25. The event was held at a house on Fire Island featured in Ryan Murphy’s 2014 HBO film, “The Normal Heart.”

Organizers say over $500,000 was raised to support Lambda Legal’s national litigation and advocacy work.

(Photos by Santiago Felipe)

Out & About

Come showcase your singing, poetry talent

Spark Social open mic night planned for Aug. 13

Published

11 hours ago

July 31, 2026

Tinashe Chingarande

Spark Social will host “Open Mic Night” on Thursday, Aug. 13 at 8 p.m. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Spark Social will host “Open Mic Night” on Thursday, Aug. 13 at 8 p.m.

Get ready to share your talent or just kick back and enjoy some great performances. This event is a fun, laid-back vibe where everyone’s welcome to take the stage. Sign-ups are first-come, first-served, but you can also DM Spark Social on Instagram to reserve a performance spot. Whether you’re a singer, poet, or comedian, this is your chance to get on stage and share your art. More details are available on Eventbrite.

Calendar

Calendar: July 31-August 6

LGBTQ events in the days to come

Published

15 hours ago

July 31, 2026

Tinashe Chingarande

Friday, July 31

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at DIK Bar. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, August 1

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday, August 2

“Black Gay Flea: Summer Kickback” will be at 12 p.m. at Wunder Garten. This is a space created to celebrate Black LGBTQ+ creatives, artists, makers, entrepreneurs, and the community that shows up for them. Come spend the afternoon shopping with local vendors, discovering new brands, supporting small businesses, and connecting with people from across the DMV. More details are on Eventbrite.

Monday, August 3

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, August 4

The DC Anti-Violence Project will host “Soul Centered” at 7 p.m. at Thurst Lounge. This is not a dating event in the traditional sense. It is a space to meet kindred spirits, future collaborators, mentors, friends, or maybe someone who reminds you of what’s possible. Romance may happen, but it’s not the expectation. For more details, visit DCAVP website.

Wednesday, August 5

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Center Aging Women’s Social & Discussion Group will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older LGBTQ+ women can meet and socialize with one another. To register, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.

Thursday, August 6

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.