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Gift Guide 2019 part 3: hot this year

Vice Wines, Budsies Selfie among hot items

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gift guide, gay news, Washington Blade

Editor’s note: This is part three of four Blade holiday gift guides. Last week’s installment (home gifts) is here if you missed it. Look for“last minute” in next week’s edition. (Dec. 13).

Category is: hot this year! Gifts galore for him, her, they and them — because secular Santa doesn’t discriminate like hypocrite “Christians” do.

Less is Bore! 

Life’s too short! Why settle for traditional ornaments? Celebrity collection: from the queen, politicians to fashion icons. From $19.95. Available at nakeddecor.com or at Naked Decor Pop Up store at Downtown Holiday Market in Washington. 

The Vice Wines

If any of your vices include a 2017 Mount Veeder Merlot, 2017 Spring Mountain District Cabernet Sauvignon, or 2018 Carneros Pinot Noir, stock up and save with these aptly named vinos handcrafted to make you feel naughty and nice. $28-695, thevicewine.com.

Budsies Selfie and Petsies Dolls

Lookalike dolls made to order from submitted photographs of your human and pet pals are stuffed with so much holiday cheer that this thoughtful treasure will be cherished for years to come. Ideal for drag queens that have everything but this. $99, budsies.com; $59-199, mypetsies.com.

Sprints Running Hat

The super-light, moisture-wicking Tropical Jaguars hat (unisex) protects athletes and outdoor enthusiasts from noggin burn and wet eyes whenever they feel like running wild. $29, getsprints.com.

Bluprint Subscription

Kick-start your secret Santa’s side hustle with Bluprint — NBCUniversal’s digital subscription service that offers classes, projects and supplies across 20-plus crafting hobbies, like quilting, knitting, embroidery and crochet, that can easily transform a creative procrastinator into a weekend money maker. $8-200, mybluprint.com.

OurShelves Children’s Book Box

Guncles and lesbi-aunts will be bedtime-story superstars when they deliver this quarterly subscription box filled with racially and ethically diverse children’s books featuring LGBTQ, feminist and other traditionally under-represented characters and families. $20-70, ourshelves.com.

Kimball Quero Boots

Step up your partner’s foot-fashion game with these ruggedly constructed wingtip boots featuring mixed leather and rubber for a no-slip stride that are as dapper as they are “damn, boy – you lookin’ fiiine!” $245-255, querohms.com.

Dessert Gallery Party in a Box

A successful holiday potluck requires two staples: free-flowing booze and plenty of sweet treats. You’ll find the latter in this Party in a Box available in Southern Pecan Pie, Tres Leches, To-Die-For Fudge Pecan Pie or a customizable tasting box. $40-89, dessertgallery.com.

Cat Ball Bed

Cats lick their plates clean when there’s fish on the menu, but roles are reversed when cute kitties become shark bait in this killer-cozy bed that’s totally fin-tastic. $85, thecatball.com.

Kombucha Making Kit

Whether you guzzle it or gag on it, kombucha has proven it has staying power and now the most health-conscious homos in your squad can whip up a fresh batch of their favorite fermented fizz without forking over a bundle per bottle. $45, farmsteady.com.

Rory Rockmore Pronoun Necklace

Using proper pronouns in the LGBTQ world can be confusing — you’ll stand corrected if you accidentally misgender — but these 14K gold or white gold nameplate necklaces (also available in HE/him and SHE/her) remove all the guesswork so you can save face. $240, roryrockmore.com.

The 5 O’Clock Box & Tom of Finland Vodka

In these three-step kits — available in sparkling rosé, spiced Old Fashioned, smoky margarita, and Moscow mule — all 5-o’clock-somewhere-ers have to do is add alcohol (like Tom of Finland vodka), shake or stir, and garnish to get tipsier than a freshly cut Tannenbaum. $30, twistyourspirits.com; $35, tomoffinlandvodka.com.

Quartz Collective Healing Crystals

You don’t have to believe in magic to reap the benefits of this collection of curated stones and crystals (which is backed by scientific research, btw) that can help facilitate healing, luck, confidence and calm and soothe negative nervous energy like anxiety. Rub ’em hard enough and you might even conjure up a top who can host. $29, quartzcollective.com.

Succulentsbox.com

The best gift for friends in tiny apartments is even tinier plants that don’t require a ton of care. Live-and-let-live succulents and minis are the perfect present — because who the hell wants to attend another ficus funeral? $5-228, succulentsbox.com.

STOCKING STUFFERS

Mokuyobi Wallets

This color-blocked, couldn’t-be-queerer-if-it-tried collection of clothing and accessories pop so hard Crayola is blue-green with envy. Wallets so bright they’ll make a bish swish harder. $12-156, mokuyobi.com.

CBD Under $20

Pop a literal chill pill when your in-laws start their shit at Christmas supper with CBD hemp capsules or gummies clocking in at under $20 for more than a week’s worth of you-don’t-give-a-fuckness. $7-20, cbdfx.com.

Axol & Friends

These cute plush critters with a purpose have companion storybooks. Axol is gender neutral, using only the pronoun “they/them” in the books, which teach children about rare endangered species and advocate for sustainable, ethical production and consumerism while donating a portion of proceeds to youth empowerment programs around the world. $19, axolandfriends.com.

Socks That Save LGBTQ Lives

Take a cue from today’s black-sock-showing youth and don this out-and-proud rainbow-stripe pair, the proceeds from each will benefit The Trevor Project to provide crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ youth. $17, fairtradewinds.net.

HipDot Pressed Glitter Palette

Hey Sis!, Big Boss Miss Ross and Royal Riot are just a few of the names in HipDot’s 15-shade pressed glitter palette designed for all genders to beat their faces like Ziggy Stardust. Proceeds will be donated to the Anti-Violence Project. $30, hipdot.com.

Tighty Whities Ornament

Baby, it’s really cold outside with these festive, glass-assed skivvies that add some bulge to your bulbs. $18, alwaysfits.com.

felixSEBASTIAN Earrings

Burl Ives sang the praises of silver and gold in 1964’s “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” but you can accessorize all the same with the very-now Nascence Collection Studs available in three shapes and metal tones. $50, iamfelixsebastian.com.

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He spends his time writing from the beach with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.

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Movies

Queer team brings girl power to fully baked ‘The Wrong Girls’

Perfect film for anyone who loves stoner comedies

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Kristin Stewart and Alia Shawkat in ‘The Wrong Girls.’ (Photo courtesy of Neon)

Generally speaking, the “Stoner Comedy” genre is aimed at an audience of “stoners,” and if you’re not one, you probably don’t get the appeal.

If you are, though, you’re likely to enjoy “The Wrong Girls,” the new indie from screenwriter Dylan Meyer in her directorial debut, which began a theatrical release on Aug. 14. The plot is ridiculous, the humor is lowbrow, and you won’t find any substance in it except for the ones that get consumed onscreen – but that’s exactly the reason why it’s pretty much perfect for anybody who loves stoner comedies, and the fact that everyone involved commits to it whole-heartedly might just makes it all the more so.

Starring Kristen Stewart (Meyer’s real-life spouse) opposite Alia Shawkat as a pair of broke, directionless best friends who share an L.A. apartment and spend an impressive amount of effort finding new and elaborate ways of consuming cannabis, it opens with them facing a financial crisis; Frankie (Stewart) is thousands of dollars in debt for a scholarship to Stanford – even though she failed out before graduating – and Molly (Shawkat), who dreams of being a professional chef, channels her creative cooking skills into creating off-the-wall recipes for cannabis-infused snacks. To make matters worse, rent is due, and – as usual – they are short.

Their situation gets a sudden surprise windfall when Frankie (through a freak case of mistaken identity) ends up in possession of a briefcase full of a mysterious liquid they assume is some kind of drug. Thinking they can sell it for rent money, they decide to try it for themselves, first, resulting in a pink-and-bubbly hallucinogenic experience in which they can hear each other’s thoughts (and their cats’ thoughts, too) – an effect that lingers even after the “trip” subsides.

Their plan to sell the substance hits a snag, however, when a cadre of gun-toting Euro-thugs in dark suits show up on the scene trying to get their hands on it. Forced to go on the run, they eventually learn that the substance they took is a top-secret experimental drug, developed by a scientist (Kate McKinnon) researching human consciousness – and that the Europeans work for a dangerous rival who wants the formula for his own nefarious purposes. Can two 20-something stoners successfully elude and overcome a team of international mercenaries on a mission? Probably not, but the superpowers they seem to be developing might improve their chances – if they can figure out how to use them, that is.

Cut from the same cloth as every weed-centric movie farce you’ve ever seen, “The Wrong Girls” leans into most of the genre’s usual formula points, first and foremost of which is that it doubles as a buddy comedy. From Cheech and Chong, through Jay and Silent Bob, to Harold and Kumar, these films have always relied on the goofy chemistry between two friends, and Mayer (who wrote as well as directed) makes a special point of following that blueprint – because it’s also where her film sets itself apart from most of the other examples within a traditionally male-dominated genre by making the buddies female instead.

It’s a simple switch, and it really doesn’t have any significant impact on the general “vibe” of the story; the dynamic is more or less the same familiar back-and-forth banter between two people who have spent years getting high together, and their antics are just as stupid. Even so, in another way, flipping the usual gender of its protagonists makes an essential difference, simply because we’re so accustomed to seeing it the other way around – but women also like to get high, so why shouldn’t we see them doing it in the movies? After all, the now-legendary Comedy Central series “Broad City” (to which “The Wrong Girls” also owes a debt of inspiration) brought a pair of stoner chicks to TV over a decade ago with the epic pairing of Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson, so it’s high time (if you’ll pardon the pun) we see the same on our big screens, too.

There are other twists that spruce up the formula too – a boyfriend (Zack Fox) who sparks girl buddy jealousy by asking Molly to move in with him, the crashing of a party thrown by a corporate douchebag (Tony Hale) and provides a great target for the anti-establishment satire that’s almost obligatory for the genre, and a plot thread about giant squid biochemistry that adds an air of comedic mysticism while tapping into the “cephalopod awareness” trend that has wriggled its way into our cultural discourse around ethical seafood consumption. All of it is written and executed with a cleverness that makes it easy to laugh at all the “dumb” comedy without it feeling too much like a guilty pleasure.

Steward and Shawkat, needless to say, carry the film; they find just the right blend of authentic friendship and “train wreck” energy to make their relationship both wacky and relatable. LaKeith Stanfield brings an admirable seriousness to his role as the guy who delivers the briefcase to the wrong person before becoming a comic foil as he ends up being a reluctant ally; stoner movie veterans Seth Rogan and Kumail Nanjiani amusingly lend their voices to the girls’ two cats; but it’s McKinnon who raises the bar, entering the story late in the game to become the hands-down MVP in a comedy that is only improved by her proven gift for stealing every scene she’s in. It’s worth noting that Geena Davis turns up for a memorable appearance that feels like a nod to that grandmother of all girl-buddy films, “Thelma and Louise.”

It’s also worth mentioning the strong imprint of queer creativity that exudes from “The Wrong Girls,” which casts two queer stars in a queer-written-and-directed comedy that also features several other prominent cast members who are queer (or queer adjacent), despite not having any specifically queer story elements. Maybe it’s the camp sensibility, or the obvious lampooning of overtly toxic heterosexual “types,” or just a general feeling of irreverence and a sharply counter-cultural edge – but somehow, the whole thing comes across as an expression of queer perspective that manages to run circles around the banality that might otherwise easily have turned the movie into an unfunny slog through a territory we’ve all seen plenty of times before.

All that said, it’s important to return to the original point that stoner movies are not necessarily meant for everyone – and fresh as it might feel, “The Wrong Girls” is definitely a stoner movie. There’s a lot of humor (and we mean A LOT) that will fall flat for those who don’t “get it,” and a considerable amount of absurdity and excess which will probably only frustrate viewers without a natural taste for it. Like even the best of the genre, it’s not intended to be deep, or even coherent – it’s all just for the sake of mindless, feel-good fun for those with a taste for it. So be warned by that caveat if you think it applies to you – otherwise, we suggest you grab a pack of edibles and jump on board for the ride.

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Out & About

Impulse to host ‘PrEP Pool Party’ at Vida: Navy Yard

‘Get wet, get tested, and get PrEP’d’

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Impulse Washington DC will host ‘PrEP Pool Party’ on Aug. 27 at Vida Fitness: Navy Yard. (Screen capture via DC Department of Health video)

Impulse Washington DC will host “PrEP Pool Party” on Thursday, Aug. 27 at 8 p.m. at Vida Fitness: Navy Yard.

Get wet, get tested, and get PrEP’d at this pool party. There will  be giveaways, good eats, and a limited open bar with Impulse DC + AHF DMV.

Guests are encouraged to pull up in their shortest shorts, show off that body, and dive into a night of wet skin, hot men, heavy flirting, and safer fun. Whether you’re already taking PrEP, curious about getting started, or ready to learn more, come mix, mingle, and make some very tempting connections.

For more information, visit Eventbrite

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Calendar

Calendar: August 21-27

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, August 21

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Uproar Rooftop. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Trans and Genderqueer Game Night will be at 7:00p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This is a relaxing, laid-back evening of games and fun. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website

Saturday, August 22

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Black Lesbian Support Group will be at 1 p.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-led support group devoted to the joys and challenges of being a Black lesbian. For more details, email [email protected]

Monday, August 24

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Queer Book Club will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. The Queer Book Club meets on the fourth Monday of the month to discuss books by queer authors. This month’s reading is “An Unkindness of Ghosts” by Rivers Solomon. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website

Tuesday, August 25

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook

Wednesday, August 26

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Asexual and Aromantic Group will meet at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a space where people who are questioning this aspect of their identity or those who identify as asexual and/or aromantic can come together, share stories and experiences, and discuss various topics. For more details, email [email protected]

Thursday, August 27

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.  

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