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Show must go on- Lil Nas X’s embarrassing wardrobe malfunction on SNL

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Lil Nas X performing on NBC's SNL May 22, 2021 (Screenshot via SNL YouTube channel)

NEW YORK – Montero Lamar Hill, known by his stage name Lil Nas X, was performing his latest hit single ‘Call Me By Your Name’ from his album MONTERO on NBC’s Saturday Night Live when his pants ripped at the crotch.

The openly out singer-songwriter- rapper glanced down then back up at the audience, covered the affected area with his hand and kept singing in what reviewers and commentators are calling “the gayest performance ever on national television” and “iconic.”

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Queer writer reflects on assault, drug use, more in ā€˜Mean Boysā€™

An interview with Geoffrey Mak

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(Book cover image via Amazon)

Queer Chinese American writer Geoffrey Mak takes the personal essay to new, and sometimes unsettling, heights, in his book ā€œMean Boys: A Personal Historyā€ (Bloomsbury, 2024). Described as a ā€œmemoir-in-essays,ā€ Mak, the gay son of an evangelical minister, takes readers on his volatile and visceral personal journey, which includes the techno clubs of Berlin, various illicit substances, his sexual assault, and ultimately an examination of mass-murderer Elliot Rodger. Mak generously made time for an interview in advance of his November appearance at the Miami Book Fair.

BLADE: In the authorā€™s note for your book ā€œMean Boys: A Personal History,ā€ you said, ā€œI wrote most of these essays for the Internet,ā€ and that awareness of your readership extended to ā€œwhat they wanted to hear, and what they were wearing.ā€ Is that still your target audience or were you looking to expand it with the book?

GEOFFREY MAK: If I could go back in time and inspire my 26-year-old self to keep writing, I would say, ā€œBabe, in 10 years, youā€™ll get everything youā€™ve ever dreamed of, just online-only.ā€ I still see the natural habitat of the personal essay; yet the internet has a tendency for fragmentation and bubbles. When I decided to write a book at a mainstream press, I thought a lot about how a bookā€”unlike a paintingā€”is a mass-produced object, which makes it a more democratic medium, almost humble. I thought a lot about the opportunity to reach readers in Idaho or Oregon or Arkansas, and, in fact, I now get emails or Instagram DMs from readers in all those states. I wanted to explore universal themes that anyone can relate to, such as the wages of status in a high school cafeteria, or the process of forgiving oneā€™s own father.

BLADE: You also mentioned James Baldwin and Joan Didion, as well as Ed White, Hilton Als, and Alan Hollinghurst, among others. How important are these writers to you in your work?

MAK: I love that you called him Ed, because he is Ed. Each of those writers gave me something that is a part of me. Baldwin: conviction. Didion: cadence. White: self-mythology. Als: voice. Hollinghurst: sex.

BLADE: Another writer, Wesley Yang, is featured prominently in the ā€œIdentity Despite Itselfā€ essay. Do you know if heā€™s aware of being the essayā€™s subject? If so, has he told you how he feels about it?

MAK: Marco Roth, a friend, was one of the founding editors of n+1, and commissioned and edited Wesley Yangā€™s remarkable essay, ā€œThe Face of Seung-Hui Choā€ when it came out in 2008. After Marco read my book, he sent it to him. In Marcoā€™s view, I had at last given Yang his due: taking him as seriously as he deserved, which is something any writer should be flattered by. And I did take him seriously, calling him into account for his internalized Asian racism and transphobia. As to what Yang actually thinks, I have no idea. Can you believe it: Not a single person I wrote about in the book has reached out to me about it?

BLADE: In ā€œMy Father, The Minister,ā€ you address religion, not only as the son of a religious leader but also as a gay man. Religion continues to make headlines, whether itā€™s the role itā€™s playing in the 2024 election, the ongoing sexual abuse scandals in the various churches, or the war in Gaza. What role, if any, does religion play in your life at present?

MAK: I pay close attention to the religious life of this country. Two-thirds consider themselves religious. A lot of what I read disturbs me, nothing is surprising to me. I was heartened when, earlier this year, the United Methodist Church rescinded a ban on gay clergy. It was a rare victory because sexual difference remains the greatest divisive factor in American churches today. The articulation of the queer, Christian subject might be my highest priority as a writer today. (Out of all my essays, I consider ā€œCalifornia Gothicā€ my greatest work.) I donā€™t participate in organized religion, but I still study the Bible and read queer theology, particularly the work of Marcella Althaus-Reid and Linn Tonstad, major influences of mine. I count theologians as some of my closest friends. I was actually just emailing with the writer Garth Greenwell about how 4th-century apophatic theology has parallels with queer theory today. Iā€™m currently writing a novel about a trans-femme protagonist who finds her way to God. Iā€™m quite serious. Sometimes, I dream that if this whole writer career doesnā€™t pan out, I might go to Divinity School.

BLADE: You also write honestly about your drug usage in ā€œMean Boys.ā€ Thereā€™s a line in the ā€œCalifornia Gothicā€ essay that reads: ā€œAfter psychosis, and after addiction, I knew that whether I would recover came down to a single test: Could I find grace in the ordinary?ā€ Where are you now on that journey?

MAK: I happen to be sober now, but I have cycled through periods of limited drug use and sobriety since I finished that essay. I belong to a harm reduction community that keeps me accountable to my self-stated goals. For several years, I have had a buddy system, which differs from a sponsor relationship because itā€™s non-hierarchical, with a friend Iā€™m extremely close withā€”we regularly check in with cravings, take stock of our weekly stressors, talk about books. If we ever call the other, we know to drop whatever weā€™re doing and pick up, because itā€™s an emergency. One night, he called me when he relapsed on meth, and I ran straight to his apartment, we flushed out the syringes, and cried in each otherā€™s arms until the sleeping pills kicked in. Since then, heā€™s been sober for almost two years. Recently, Iā€™ve been talking to him about ā€œjunk time,ā€ which are the late-night brain rot hours when I canā€™t read and crave drugs the most. I need to start finding grace in the ordinariness of junk time. Thanks for the reminder.

BLADE: What was involved in your decision to write about the aftermath of your sexual assault in the essay ā€œIn Arcadia Ego?ā€

MAK: OK, so the first section of that essay originated as a Facebook post. People reached out with caring words, although the writing partly explored my reaching a limit with caring words. The material was so raw that I put it down for at least a few years. After I had some distance from my own assault, I picked up the essay again and suddenly realized I was bored of my own pain. It wasnā€™t going to teach me anything, because suffering isnā€™t a university. I wanted to party, so I wrote about that. Nothing about this was virtuous or wholesome or dignified. I got fucked up and screamed with my gays on the dance floor like sorority girls at a bachelorette party. In a previous era, you had a party to commemorate an occasion. My friends and I partied for no reason; the party justified itself. Life is like this, too. You never need a reason.

BLADE: Was the lengthy, titular essay that closes out the book, the first essay written for the book, and therefore the inspiration?

MAK: It was the last essay I finished. In fact, we delayed the release date of the book because I couldnā€™t finish it. Itā€™s my most original writing and original thinking. Itā€™s also not for everyone.

BLADE: In the ā€œMean Boysā€ essay, you write about the ultimate mean boy ā€“ mass-murderer Elliot Rodger. Did that essay begin as being about Rodger or did that come later?

MAK: This was one of the first essays I wrote where I didnā€™t outline it or know where it was ending up in advance. I started with an imageā€”the Lacoste polo with the popped collarā€”and just kept writing. Itā€™s meandering, because thatā€™s how I wrote it, working through the innate turbulence of each paragraph until a door appeared into the next paragraph. I eventually found my way to Rodger. There was a time I thought I could write the essay without reading the manifesto, until I realized, cā€™mon, I was being chicken, I had to read the manifesto. Once I finished it, I knew I had to rewrite the entire essay.

BLADE: Have you started writing or thinking about your next book project?

MAK: Iā€™m working on a novel about degenerate ravers in Berlin. While the UK and Germany have novels about raving, America curiously doesnā€™t have one. So, I decided to write one.

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Photos

PHOTOS: Birthdays at JR.’s

Drag queens celebrate at local establishment

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Citrine performs at JR.'s on Saturday. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Citrine, Andromeda and Silver WareĀ Sidora celebrated their birthdays at JR.’s Bar with a drag show on Saturday, Nov. 2.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

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Theater

Signatureā€™s fresh take on classic ā€˜Forumā€™

Actor Mike Millan says ā€˜itā€™s like a new work in many waysā€™

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ā€˜A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forumā€™
Through Jan. 12
Signature Theatre
4200 Campbell Ave.
Arlington, Va.
$40-$126
sigtheatre.org

For out actor Mike Millan, Signature Theatreā€™s production of ā€œA Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum,ā€ couldnā€™t feel fresher. 

Set in ancient Rome, the 62-year-old Tony-winning hit (music with lyrics by Stephen Sondheim and book by Burt Shevelove and Larry Gelbart) borrows from Roman comedy, farce, and a dash of bawdy vaudeville to the tales of slaves, soldiers, courtesans, and a lovesick young man. 

Millan plays Hysterium, a nervous slave in the House of Senex, whose tagline reads ā€œI live to grovel.ā€

ā€œIā€™ve never done ā€˜Forum,ā€™ so to me itā€™s like a new work in many ways,ā€ he says. ā€œAnd because itā€™s older and has a classic musical point of view and weā€™re doing it now, itā€™s as if weā€™ve been given a lovely opportunity to make it our own.ā€ 

And indeed, they are doing just that. Directed and choreographed by Matthew Gardiner, the Signature production is introducing new bits and playing with gender: the central character Pseudolus, a sly slave role created by Zero Mostel, is played by Erin Weaver; Erronius is played by Sherri Edelen in drag; and two male actors and one nonbinary actor play courtesans.

Though Millan, 35, is based with his partner in Los Angeles, he regularly travels to New York and is pleased to make Signature in Shirlington an additional destination on his bicoastal work journey. Recently, the affable actor took time to talk about Signature and ā€œForum.ā€ 

WASHINGTON BLADE: A little about the brilliantly named Hysterium, please. 

MIKE MILLAN: As a gay actor, I can say that Hysterium is one of the gayer characters Iā€™ve ever played. Heā€™s a sort of fop and heā€™s in drag most of the second act. How can you not see him as a queer character?ā€ 

When the part was written it was sort of gay coded and now itā€™s just abundantly clear, you donā€™t think twice about it. 

BLADE: ā€œForumā€ is unapologetically fun. Is now the right time for a romp? 

MILLAN: The show comes with a level of escapism that is really infectious. During these tense times, it feels great to be doing a silly musical. Weā€™re doing fart jokes in tunics, and the material and jokes really hold up. Youā€™ll feel better leaving than when you came in.

BLADE: All that and a Sondheim score too? 

MILLAN: Heā€™s the reason Iā€™m here. In high school, I discovered his ā€œInto the Woodsā€ and remember locking myself in my room until I knew every word to ā€œGiants in the Sky.ā€ 

ā€œPassion,ā€ ā€œFollies,ā€ I love it all. Heā€™s so singular because he writes from a perspective of acting and storytelling; Sondheim touches me in a way that feels quasi-religious. 

When I think about the number of times I sang ā€œLast Midnightā€ alone in my car, it fills me with a joy that Iā€™ve never gotten from any other composer or jukebox musical.

BLADE:  In 2022, you played Idina Menzel super fan Jeff in ā€œWhich Way to the Stageā€ at Signature. Are you glad to be back? 

MILLAN: Yes, Iā€™m happy to be employed. Itā€™s a tough business. Not only are we asked to be great singers, dancers, actors, and performers but weā€™re asked to have a social media presence and to be the most popular kid in school. 

Signature provides a safe environment to try something new and different, to experiment with a community that respects doing that. Also at Signature, it never feels like any audience members are being dragged by their partners to see a show. Itā€™s a supportive community. 

BLADE: Speaking of partners, do you miss being away from home?

MILLAN: Sometime itā€™s nice to have that time away from each other; it builds a little mystery.

BLADE: Will your performance change between now and January?

MILLAN: In recent years, Iā€™ve changed my acting approach from cracking the code on how to play a character to inviting the audience on a journey and making them part of the process. 

I was raised in musical theater, but by doing comedy, standup, and improv, Iā€™ve come to find the joy of failure freeing. And I like being part of a changing show. I like the idea of somebody being able to say ā€œI was there the night Patti LuPone yelled at the guy who took a picture.ā€

BLADE: An unexpected moment. 

MILLAN: Of course, I go in with certain things I have planned out, but I like the element of excitement that anything might happen. And I think the audience should feel that way too.

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