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To many, being referred to as ‘queer’ remains offensive

Washington Post erred in using the term in a recent headline

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Merriam-Webster dictionary gives various definitions for the word “queer” but also notes: “The term is also prominent as a neutral term in academic contexts that deal with gender and sexuality. Current neutral and positive uses notwithstanding, the word’s long history of pejorative use continued into the current century, and some people still find the word offensive in any context.” I don’t find the term offensive in any context, but do find it offensive when those not members of the LGBTQ community use it to refer to places I go, or to the community I am a member of. 

I recently wrote a letter to the Washington Post based on my reaction to the sub-headline of a column appearing on the front-page of their Style section. It read: “After a year of intensified anti-LGBTQ attacks across the country, queer bars, community centers and gay-owned businesses are rethinking how to best protect themselves.” I was offended by their use of the term ‘Queer’ when referring to our bars and indirectly to our community. The author of the column, Anne Branigin, used it to refer to two bars in Adams Morgan owned by a friend — Pitchers and A League of Her Own. I asked this friend if he refers to his bars that way and he said no. 

My reaction to this word may be a generational thing. But even if that is the case, I would still ask why the Washington Post would feel comfortable, and find it necessary, to use it in a headline and column, not quoting someone in the community using it, when it still offends many of their readers. I would think the majority of their LGBTQ readers, and likely all readers, are of an age who will be offended. 

When growing up there were many reasons I remained closeted. One was knowing if I came out I would be branded as a “faggot” or “queer.” At the time, those terms were used interchangeably. The word queer was directed in a negative way at any guy who was slightly different, maybe effeminate, even if they weren’t gay. It you were gay you certainly didn’t want anyone calling you that. It is a term still used today to insult members of the LGBTQ community by many who oppose any kind of equality, or acceptance, of the community. Today, with the increase in hate crimes against the LGBTQ community, it is being used and can be used, to prove a hate crime. I feel strongly the media, and those not members of the community, should not be adopting a word still used to slander the community. While it may seem cool or ‘woke’ to some, it is important to recognize to many it is still a very offensive word.  

Hate crimes are rising against so many minorities along with the increase in anti-Semitism. The media should be careful not to use words offensive to members of the Asian community, or the African-American community. I understand younger members of the LGBTQ community are getting much more comfortable with the word queer and using it often. Recently I heard a young member of the disability community refer to himself and a friend as “gimps.” Having worked in that community for many years I was amazed at its usage. But again, they were using it with each other. No media outlet would or should ever consider using such words when reporting on or writing about those communities. The same would go for words a Jewish person might consider using with another Jewish person, within the community. 

Following my initial visceral reaction to the headline, I began asking some of my friends in the LGBTQ community, and some straight friends, their thoughts on the word. It led to some interesting discussions. I also found some of my younger friends never realized it had been used to debase and attack the community. 

Many of my older friends, and straight friends, had a similar reaction to it that I did. They had heard younger people using it and were as surprised as I was to find some young people in our community had no idea about its history. They were willing to accept young people might use it among themselves within the community but were also appalled the Washington Post thought it was OK to use it in describing something in the LGBTQ community as they still saw it as a derogatory term and one of hate. 

Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

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Survivors of sex crimes are unsung heroes

Taking trauma and turning it to their advantage

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Jake Stewart is a D.C.-based writer and barback.

(Editor’s note: This is the second of a two-part story. Click here to read the first installment.)

Last month, I started watching “The X-files.” 

For the most part I loved the show, with Agents Scully and Mulder as the primary reasons why. Yet what I found most frustrating was watching their investigations. As early as episode one, set in a small town of scared people guarded by scary men, Agent Scully proposed coincidences while Agent Mulder proposed aliens. Despite the episode having “cult” written all over it, both agents seemed none the wiser. 

Recently, I learned the FBI has an open process for writers and other creatives to learn how the agency works. I also discovered the FBI has a history of monitoring writers. In fact, the FBI is about as image-conscious as your typical D.C. gay, making me wonder how the “X-Files” moved forward with little pushback. That’s about as interesting as UFOs being discovered in New Mexico as we tested the atomic bomb. 

But if you’re reading this, you likely want me to shut up about the “X-Files” and get back to my story. When I left off, my friend had disappeared and my work cleared me of any wrongdoing. That said, I was mysteriously fired in September 2022—nearly a year after the initial incident—and just six weeks after my boss learned that I wrote books. 

The process of my firing was strange, to say the least. First and foremost, I was never given a reason. To this day it remains a mystery. My now-former employer—a high-profile lobbying firm—then bullied me into signing an NDA to access my severance. 

By the way, I negotiated up. While I don’t know what I did, I had a feeling I had that power. I was right. 

Just prior to the firing, they asked me to bring in my laptop so they could download my files. This rang an alarm for me, primarily because they never gave me a laptop. So, they wanted me to bring in my personal laptop. As a writer with original materials, I reasonably asked what constituted a work file. I never received an answer. 

Coincidentally, I met my ex-boyfriend exactly one week before I got fired. He is the same ex-boyfriend from my religion piece, in which I mentioned he fell into hard times. Specifically, I was referring to concerning signs I spotted last April, primarily on the gay apps, and with memories of the last boy still fresh on my mind, I refused to let another slip from my grasp. 

So, what did I do? I dove headfirst into hell in a messy attempt to rescue him. After playing this new game of cat-and-mouse in which I was said mouse, allow me to share what I learned: Over the course of several months, I spotted sketchy characters at my ex’s place—characters I suspected dealt hard drugs, which was highly out of character for him. Moreover, I found online accounts promoting extremely suspect pornography and, yes, pimping services on X (formerly Twitter), some of which looked a lot like my ex. While I didn’t know what exactly was happening, I knew something was off, but when I confronted my ex, he denied it. 

Being the stubborn asshole that I am, I decided to check these sketchy characters out for myself. It turns out I was spot on about their sketchiness. I learned they not only drug unsuspecting young men in a coordinated manner, but once drugged they sexually violate them and—if drugged enough—begin recording videos. It’s all made to look random yet safe; for example, there always seems to be a nurse in the group who is “experienced” in administering needles. 

Once I had proof these people were unsafe, I took further action for my ex. In mid-November, I reached out to someone in his personal life, which was a tough decision since he was closeted. I was strategic and chose someone who knew he was bisexual, and after connecting with her on Instagram, spoke on the phone with her the next morning. Upon hearing my concerns, she agreed based on her own observations. 

Apparently, she spotted signs of him being physically harmed over the summer. She and I spoke for hours on end about the situation and how we could help him. Then, just a week later, I lost contact with her and my ex. I haven’t heard from either since. 

I eventually grew concerned enough to contact the police and the FBI. In the meantime, particularly following my trauma article, sex workers approached me to share their stories—primarily stories of rape and abuse alongside a power structure rooted in it. As for those who try to oppose this system? They’re often written off as mentally ill. 

I don’t know about you, but I refuse to live in a world where young queers are shepherded into this system. That’s the opposite of what I envision for the queer community. 

Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend arrived in January, along with more sex workers. Once again, some approached me to share their stories—about their aspirations, about their art, about their perspectives on the world. And once again, about the system of abuse designed against them from the start. I heard stories of young boys raped by their fathers, or friends of their fathers, or about the drugs used to coerce them into sexual activity. Sadly, just like a UFO witness, they are usually written off and never taken seriously, especially if they have a record of drug abuse or mental illness. Seems to be a pattern, doesn’t it? 

That said, these men are not solely victims. If anything, they took their trauma and turned it to their advantage. I’d like to take this moment to thank them. They’re unsung heroes—each and every one—in a nation that often shames them. 

Yet as proud as I am of these sex workers, my heart was equally broken. These stories were painful to hear, to say the least. I quickly grew paranoid of people around me, even friends at times. There were other times I sat alone in my apartment, bawling over the men I had lost, along with the pain others had experienced. This only strengthened my resolve to end it. 

To top this all off, my final discovery came just two months ago. Turns out there’s an X account publicly teasing me about this entire affair. The account even references this column and, according to the receipts, started well before I noticed concerning signs about my ex in the first place.  

Hello there, dear X account. It appears you’ve been observing me. Consider this my proverbial tapping back on the glass. 

Wow—there seems to be a lot of time, energy, and effort spent on little ole me. Why is that, I wonder? I’ve mentioned before I’m just a measly little barback who has been fired twice. Although looking back, those firings were strange too, weren’t they? 

Is it the abuse I uncovered? Is it the details of my lover’s past? Is it something I wrote? Is it a combination of the three? And is it possible that the little dark cloud that’s been following me in D.C. is more intentional than I once thought? 

I may never learn the truth on my own, but I can pose another question: what’s the only thing scarier than UFOs? To me there’s just one answer: that UFOs were never real in the first place. Occasionally, answers to unsettling mysteries simply unearth more unsettling mysteries. 

I mentioned before in this column that I arrived to D.C. naïve about the world, perhaps just as naïve as Agents Scully and Mulder. Yet in my naiveté I tripped on something: the rot hiding beneath the surface of our nation’s capital. No, it isn’t coincidence. It isn’t aliens, either. But whatever it is, I alone cannot identify it. 

Throughout my time uncovering this story, I’ve come across friends, acquaintances, and even relatives who suffered abuse, along with threats or shaming to keep them quiet. They come from all races, creeds, backgrounds, and orientations, and as it turns out, some of the infrastructure of power in D.C. and in towns across this nation are built around it. While I’m ready to tear it down, this isn’t just my story. I might be the one starting it, but it’s not on me to finish. 

The most I can do is hand the pen over to the victims. I’ve shared my part. Now it’s their turn. As for the audience: I hope you’re now ready to start believing.  


Jake Stewart is a D.C.-based writer and barback.

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Elon Musk’s mistakes

A capable businessman compromised by transphobia

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Elon Musk (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

In two previous articles for the Blade, I enumerated how Elon Musk is a rampant transphobe and a danger to society. My position on Musk, since then, is nuanced. In one of these articles, I mildly applauded his brilliance, as I will enumerate now that he was able to create a payment company (PayPal), a car company (Tesla), and a rocket company (SpaceX), all with extreme success. Musk, in this regard, is a Renaissance man of sorts, able to use his Wharton accolades and other courses in physics, math, and coding to his will, and revamping companies to earn billions of dollars in profits. Nowadays, it’s a common brag among best friends to own a “Tessie” – slang for a Tesla – and to ride around for fun. “Tessies” have seeped into popular culture. And on the streets of LA, from the suburbs of D.C., to the outskirts and roads of Manhattan, Teslas are a common phenomenon, and are skyrocketing in sales. And PayPal, to Musk’s credit, is also still a platform that millions use regularly to send money to friends or other businesses. Meanwhile, SpaceX is preparing for the future, creating an infrastructure for space exploration. 

Musk is undeniably successful. Yet two things should counter his fame and cause serious alarm. As I have spoken about in the past, Musk’s relationship with his transgender daughter is nonexistent, as Vivian Wilson, the daughter, states that he was an absent parent who harassed her as a child. Musk’s transphobia has been on full display: he banned the word “cisgender” from X.com, which led many LGBTQ rights groups away from the platform. I was no stranger to this word ban: a conservative journalist covering my stories had to use c*isgender in asterisks to avoid having her post deleted. Word bans were and are common symptoms of fascist regimes. Hitler and the Nazis infamously banned words and books from the public realm, and Musk is doing the same thing. 

The second cause for alarm in Musk’s rise to power is his heading of DOGE, the Department of Government Efficiency. At first, hiring Musk as the leader of DOGE seemed like a good idea, even with someone who harbors transphobic complaints about him. As the richest man in the world, and as a man who has led multiple companies with billions of dollars in revenue, it would seem that a private sector tycoon like Musk would have the merits to lead DOGE.

Yet almost immediately, such merits came into question. In early February of 2025, Musk essentially axed USAID, the State Department’s aid wing, an organization tasked with giving funds to needy countries and doing other life-saving work like vaccine promotion. The axing of USAID spoke right away to Musk’s sheer ignorance of USAID and the good it has done for decades across the world. In effect, he created, almost overnight, a dystopia in American international aid development. Without USAID, the United States can’t fund foreign countries to engage in beneficial mutual partnerships with us. 

The axing of USAID from U.S. foreign policy will surely not be the only toxic decision that Musk makes. Down the line, and even already, we can expect a significant reduction, or just outright banning, of DEI initiatives. DEI initiatives are important for marginalized communities to have a voice and funding through government. For instance, studies that analyze the wellbeing of LGBTQ youth would presumably be axed. More studies analyzing racial discrimination in the workplace could be axed as well. 

Overall, Musk shows a demonstrated brilliance in almost every endeavor he touches, with the exception of DOGE and Trump-related decisions. And the rampant transphobia that he has shown toward his child has painted his character in murky colors. 


Isaac Amend is a writer based in the D.C. area. He is a transgender man and was featured in National Geographic’s “Gender Revolution” documentary. He serves on the board of the LGBT Democrats of Virginia. Contact him at [email protected] or on Instagram at @literatipapi

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Trump is a carnival barker masquerading as president

Throwing the world into chaos by cozying up to Putin

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President Donald Trump speaks at a joint session of Congress on March 4. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Trump is a carnival barker, who masquerades as a president. He is a racist, felon, found liable for sexual assault, and in many ways a danger to the LGBTQ community. What he is not, is a credible president. He is a grifter and a liar. He sees himself as an entertainer, which accounts for his speech to Congress. He thinks nothing of lying and using props, even a brave young cancer survivor, to get applause, and feed his ego. 

The real danger of his second term in office is he is surrounded with some people worse than himself, but with more brains. The first is hard to be, the second is easy. His best friend and co-president, is a Nazi sympathizer, the richest man in the world. Contrary to Trump, who has declared bankruptcy multiple times in his businesses, Musk has made a real fortune. There are those who claim he has paid to be Trump’s co-president. First helping fund the campaign, others even suggesting he has promised Trump billions after he is out of office. I don’t know that to be true, but clearly not beyond belief. While Trump sees himself as a king, Musk sees himself as an emperor, controlling the world. Trump has allowed him unlimited access to the Oval Office, from which to carry out his goals. Trump’s attitude to people here, and around the world, suffering because of him, is that they be damned.

Now we know Trump and Musk, have bought off, or scared off, any opposition from Republican senators and congresspersons. They have gotten them all on their knees. The only hope for our democracy is the courts. We will see if they hold, and actually perform their constitutional role, as the third arm of our government. Will they stand up to the two despots in the White House? Will they be willing to take the glare, and threats to their lives, from MAGA supporters, and do the right thing? The right thing is not what I want, but what the constitution of our country calls for. 

People are being fired willy-nilly, without any thought to the repercussions. We know this as they have fired people, and been forced to rehire them when they realized what they did. From the National Nuclear Security Administration, which oversees the nation’s arsenal of nuclear weapons, to those trying to deal with bird flu at the CDC. They have in a short time thrown the world into chaos, by moving away from all our allies and cozying up to Putin, a dictator, who seems to be holding something over Trump’s head. Musk is posting on X and whispering in Trump’s ear to leave NATO, and populate Mars. A megalomaniac with thoughts of being the next Hitler, and taking over the world using Donald Trump as his stooge. 

Musk has eclipsed the vice president, who then tried to reclaim his role by embarrassing the United States at the meeting with Ukraine’s President Zelenskyy. Vance made the president look weak. Then when Trump spoke to Congress, thanking Musk, all Vance could do was sit behind the president with a stupid grin on his face, jump up to applaud every few minutes, at the spectacle taking place in front of him. If he wasn’t so venal I would have actually felt sorry for him. 

Last week was the ninth anniversary of Nancy Reagan’s death. It reminded me she was the one who ran the country, while hiding her husband’s dementia from the people. Even with all that, in some ways I longed for those days. A time I could disagree with just about every Republican policy, but could sit and talk to Republicans and have a rational conversation. In those days I could, and did, actually meet the leadership of the Log Cabin Republicans for lunch, and not end up feeling dirty like I would with some of those leading them today. 

It may sound funny to say, but I yearn for a two-party system where we can debate issues with intelligent people. I know how bad Reagan was, and that he caused the death of thousands by not being willing to deal with HIV/AIDS. But then there were Democrats like Ed Koch, mayor of New York City, who did the same. I hope we can get back to a day when we can really debate policy, everyone telling the truth to voters, and not have a Republican Party that believes lying, and fighting culture wars, is the way to go. 


Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

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