Though I’ve never lived “in the closet” over the years, I realized I hadn’t fully stepped out of it in every aspect of life. While I embraced being out, certain moments hindered my personal and professional growth.

Have you ever let someone assume something about your life, like having a wife or girlfriend, because it was easier than correcting them? Perhaps you thought, “I’m not in the closet, so it doesn’t matter.” But looking back, did it matter?

This question lingered in my mind for far too long. We must ask whether our actions reflect who we are or if we’re choosing a more convenient version of ourselves. When someone asked, “Is your girlfriend coming to happy hour?” I wasn’t offended, but I wasn’t being entirely authentic, either.

As a gay man, I found it flattering when people assumed I was straight. Was I accepting it as validation of my masculinity? Perhaps. But over time, I realized that allowing these assumptions to persist wasn’t as harmless as I initially believed.

I’ve been fortunate never to experience the closet. The unwavering support from my family, friends, and colleagues has empowered me to live authentically. 

Having a family was, and still is, my guiding light. But by my late 20s, that vision began to fade. By my mid 30s, I saw family life, as a gay man, was a possibility, but I buried myself in building a company. I convinced myself that balancing family and business was unattainable since finding someone with shared values seemed impossible. But was it? 

As an entrepreneur, I’ve experienced the highs and lows of building something from scratch, always embracing challenges. It’s easy when you love what you do. Like building a business, personal growth is shaped by what you choose to invest in and what you attract into your life. Despite my successes, something still felt misaligned. What was I doing wrong? 

I remember moments like vendors taking us to after-hours bars or strip clubs. I recall one instance at a national expo when a vendor took us to a female strip club. I’ve never enjoyed strip clubs, gay or straight; I’d instead host a dinner party. Early into the night, someone arranged a lap dance for me, and I jokingly asked if she could switch places with the security guy. We both laughed, but here’s the issue: I never told them why I got up and left, only her. At that moment, did I sell myself short? Would it affect our partnership? I wasn’t in the closet but wasn’t entirely out either.

Another moment came in my 30s when I was learning how to navigate dating. A friend suggested I downplay my career to avoid intimidating potential partners. I agreed initially but eventually asked myself: Why should I downplay my accomplishments to make others comfortable? By minimizing my worth, I wasn’t just being inauthentic; I was undervaluing myself and the hard work I put into it. What was I trying to attract into my life?

As my journey continued, I became increasingly aware of what I was inviting into my life. My personal and professional lives were out of alignment. When I opened an office in India, I came out to the local director before signing business documents. Why? Friends and colleagues struggle because their business partners don’t know their authentic selves, and I refused to let this happen. More importantly, I owed being genuine to myself.

Many of us create barriers between our personal and professional lives. While change can be difficult, I needed to align them. We believe we’re not lying because we’re “not in the closet.” But by not fully expressing our authentic selves, we hold ourselves back. For me, dismantling those barriers allowed me to transform what I was attracting into my life, personally and professionally.

Had I not become self-aware, I’d still be stuck in a cycle of inauthenticity, missing out on my full potential. Without changing my mindset, I would have continued letting others’ assumptions define me and limit my growth. I only began breaking free from that cycle by fully embracing my true self.

Even though I’ve never lived in the closet, I still fear what being this open might bring. But that’s precisely why I need to do it. My personal and professional allies have shown unwavering support, standing by me through everything. To those who have supported me on this journey, thank you, it’s now my turn to support others.

Authenticity isn’t just a choice; it’s essential for a fulfilled life. You must ask, you must act, and yes, you will fail and learn along the way, but that’s OK. Every time you act, you move closer to your authentic self. Embrace vulnerability and the discomfort of feeling exposed, it’s then you will begin to reclaim your strength.

To the person on the partner track who’s afraid to bring their partner to a company retreat: bring them! To the young adult worried about being kicked out of the house: seek local support; someone will help you! To the person fearful of losing their job because of who they are: quit! To the person who wants a family, look around; someone shares those values! If someone offers to set you up with a girl or guy, ask if they have a brother or sister, and you might get a date! To those still searching for the right partner, ditch the apps and be present! 

I kept my personal life “private” for years because I thought, “I’m not in the closet.” I’m not referring to social media; this is about deep-rooted beliefs that live rent-free in our minds, filtering our responses and decisions. While writing this piece, I mistakenly typed, “I’m not out,” perhaps it wasn’t a mistake; it was a sign. I am grateful those filters expired long ago and are now evicted for living rent-free.

We live in a world where mental health is still stigmatized. Small acts of inauthenticity can cause anxiety that spills into our professional lives. It makes us seem “off” and can lead to missed opportunities. Worst of all, you may feel trapped and remain silent.

It’s time to stop allowing these things to hold us back. We must discuss mental health, authenticity, and their impact on our lives. The journey isn’t about becoming someone new; it’s about shedding what doesn’t define you so you can fully embrace who you’ve always been.

As I continue my journey, I will do so boldly, out loud, and unapologetically. Note to readers: If you’re struggling, want to discuss this topic further, or just need a virtual coffee chat, feel free to reach out via Instagram, @gregorybarretta. 

Gregory Barretta is a serial entrepreneur overseeing several companies, committed to mentoring, leading, and empowering others to grow.

We are at the first anniversary of the Oct. 7 attack launched against Israel by the terrorist organization Hamas. In that attack nearly 1,200 Israelis were slaughtered, many women sexually mutilated, and 251 hostages taken. There are 97 hostages still unaccounted for. We must never forget who began this war on Oct. 7, 2023, and recognize this is a war between Israel and Hamas, not Israel and the Palestinian people.

I am an American Jew whose parents escaped Hitler, and whose grandparents were killed in Auschwitz. While I will never forget, or forgive Hamas, over the past year I have written about how poorly the far-right Israeli government of Israel has responded. They have every right to defend themselves, but it appears many of the deaths of innocent Palestinian women and children, should have been avoided. But Hamas must take responsibility for these deaths as well as Israel. They hide in tunnels beneath hospitals and houses, and in the midst of Palestinian civilians. Both sides have refused to agree to any ceasefire terms. Reality is had Hamas agreed to return the hostages, including 30 Americans, and many from other countries, many of the Palestinian deaths could have been avoided. We don’t even know if the close to 100 hostages they still hold, are dead or alive. 

Over the past year the Palestinian people in Gaza have had their lives torn apart. Their homes have been bombed, and thousands of women and children have died. Much of Gaza has been destroyed. Their healthcare system destroyed, and many are starving, living without any power. Once again, let us not forget who began this war. The stated aim of some Hamas leaders when they began the war was to draw Israel into a wider war. While that may now be happening, contrary to what Hamas wanted, Israel is winning it, and the Arab countries surrounding Israel, are not coming to the aid of the Palestinian people.

No one should feel joy in any of this. It means more innocent people are dying every day. Israelis in the north have been evacuated from their homes and many killed, and there isn’t a family in Israel not impacted. The Palestinian people are still suffering and have not rid themselves of Hamas, even though some are now speaking out saying they want to. I am not sure how they can do that. Then the Israeli people have still not rid themselves of Netanyahu, and his right-wing government, and they have better options to do that, and must take them if they ever want lasting peace. 

Today we see the terrorist group Hezbollah continue to bomb Israel, and now Israel is expanding its fight in Lebanon. Hezbollah is losing and innocents in Lebanon are losing their homes, and their lives. Hezbollah, like Hamas, is a terrorist group funded by Iran. The legitimate government in Lebanon cannot control them. Iran, which funds terrorist organizations against Israel, has now directly fired a second round of missiles into Israel. They didn’t expect the Arab nations surrounding Israel would come to Israel’s aid the first time, but they did, in some ways to protect themselves from the missiles. The United States, whose ships are stationed off shore, shot down Iranian missiles and Israel’s Iron Dome protected it from major casualties or destruction. Again, if Hamas thought the Arab nations around Israel would come to their aid, they have been proven wrong. If Israel goes after Iran directly, which the United States is officially urging them not to do, the war could spread further. Iranian oil fields and ports are at risk, which will impact the world. Iran has no Iron Dome.

So, after a year, what has Hamas accomplished? What have they done for the Palestinian people? Are the Palestinian people any better off? Clearly not. We have seen Palestinian students here in the United States, and around the world, trying to get universities and corporations to disinvest from Israel, as the BDS movement has tried for years. But there has been practically no impact at all. Investment money has not been withdrawn from Israel, and no country has withdrawn from their treaty with Israel. I spoke out and wrote, as have many Jews over the past year, asking Israel to declare a unilateral ceasefire in the war with Hamas to allow food and medicine to be delivered into Gaza. They haven’t done that, but then Hamas has not agreed to any ceasefire. 

I support a two-state solution giving the Palestinian people their own state, which their leaders turned down in 1947 when it was offered by the United Nations. We saw in Israel’s 1948 ‘War for Independence,’ as it was called, the surrounding Arab states did nothing to help the Palestinians, rather fought to take more land for themselves. I believe an eventual two-state solution is the only way the Palestinian people will ever be able to live in peace, and the same for the Israeli people. It will only happen if outside nations join together and guarantee Israel will be secure. If that happens, the rest of the world will have to pledge hundreds of billions of dollars to help a new Palestinian state build a sustainable economy. All of this may be wishful thinking, but it seems to be the only answer to secure a lasting peace. 

In the meantime, I join everyone who mourns the lives of the innocents lost this past year, both Israelis and Palestinians, and now those in Lebanon. The world must find a way to end this carnage. 

Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

I read with interest the article published in the Washington Blade stating that the Republican candidate for Delaware’s 14th Representative District supports LGBTQ rights and specifically “legislation protecting transgender people.” I am glad that this lifelong Delawarean and resident of the legislative district with the largest number of LGBTQ people in Delaware is in support of our community. I do not question what is in his heart. I also do not care what is in his heart or the heart of any person seeking or serving in elective office. I care only about what they have done before they decided to seek public office, and what they do once in office.

I served on the board of Delaware Stonewall Democrats and its successor Delaware Stonewall PAC from 2006 to 2021. During that period, I served as either political vice president or president. I was heavily involved with the passage of all LGBTQ legislation in Delaware. That involvement included the passage of Hospital Visitation Rights and anti-discrimination laws in 2009 up to and including the passage of both marriage equality and transgender protections in 2013. I never saw Republican candidate Simpler at any event, fundraiser or lobbying effort for our bills.

It is because Simpler, from a local politically active family, is not known to ever actively support the efforts of our community, a community with a significant number of voters in the district he seeks to represent, that I must question the motives behind his expressing his support in the Blade now. I have not seen such expressions of support in his campaign literature or advertising supporting his candidacy. Delaware, and this area, have had more than their share of office seekers, of both parties, expressing their support, even love, for the LGBTQ community and then doing NOTHING to advance our rights once elected. I fear Simpler is just the latest. However, there is a clear alternative.

Claire Snyder Hall is the Democratic candidate. She is also a member of the LGBTQ community and, in her personal capacity and during her years as executive director of Common Cause, Delaware, has supported and even lobbied for all the legislation mentioned above. Knowing that, LGBTQ members of the 14th Representative District, and their allies, have no reason to look beyond Claire to find a representative who we know will have our backs — it is her back too. Claire is the former chair of the 14th Representative District Democratic Committee, during my term as chair of the Sussex County Democratic Committee, and she is endorsed by Delaware Stonewall. I thank Simpler for “supporting” our community and transgender rights. However,  I support and have contributed to Claire Snyder Hall, who has a track record of helping us achieve those rights.     

Mitch Crane is a former president of Delaware Stonewall PAC and a resident of Lewes, Del.