“The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay: Essays”
By Eliot Glazer
c.2026, Gallery Books
$28.99/240 pages

You try and you try.

Once, twice, you go back at that thorny issue, the dream you have, the punchline that’s not hitting quite right. Sometimes, time is all you need to make it better, or a new approach, or a second look. And then there are days when you actually get things right, as in “The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay” by Eliot Glazer, and it’s all good.

Throughout his life, Eliot Glazer has made mistakes. And it’s OK, everybody trips and falls now and then. In his case, though, he’s perfectly willing to document his failures, foibles, and whoopsies in this book.

He writes of his mother, Sandi, “a Queens-born balabosta” who wouldn’t tolerate laziness in herself or Glazer. He found work as soon as he was legally able to do so, and he had many jobs throughout high school. He was a gardener, ice cream scooper, camp counselor, golf caddy, chocolatier, telemarketer, and video store clerk. The one that fit him best, however, was working at Talbots, a department store for older women, where he found his people.

Even with all those jobs, he was a theater kid in his time off, little though it was. Back then, he was just a boy growing up on Long Island but swagger was important, so swagger he did. He still appreciates a good Broadway show, even the silliest ones.

Glazer says that he had just recently come out when gayness exploded on TV with “Will & Grace” and “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” with which he was obsessed. It helped him feel not othered, he says. Producers of the reboot asked him to be a second-generation Eye, but Glazer turned them down, though he thinks he’d have been good at it.

The show helped him with love of décor. His unexpected advisory skills came naturally, through age and wisdom and learning that wild partying isn’t really so much fun.

As for finding love, well, that’s a long, boy-meets-boy-meets-boy story…

So you’re looking for something to easily pick up and put down, something that speaks to your inner impatience? You’ll find that in “The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay,” a book that’s practically meant for you to skip around and you don’t have to read everything.

Essays can be like that, which is nice, even refreshing. Author Eliot Glazer is entertaining enough to make things work, engaging enough to keep it moving, and funny enough to make you want more of what he has to say. He’s open with his life and, despite his fame, his writing isn’t lofty; you can expect stories that’ll make you snort and ones with spice, but also some surprisingly tender moments that soften this book in a way that’s just right.

Readers who want a quick, mostly light book to finish will find something appealing in this collection of essays. If you don’t mind a bit of non-linearity and you need a laugh, “The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay.” is worth a try.

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The Equality Chamber of Commerce is bringing together LGBTQ+ entrepreneurs, business leaders, professionals, advocates, and community partners on Thursday, Oct. 15 at 2:30 p.m. at the D.C. Mayor’s Office for LGBTQ Affairs (899 N. Capitol Street, NE).

This is an afternoon and evening focused on one essential question: How do we build businesses and a business community that can thrive? The Pride in Business Expo and Profits & Pours with Stephanie will create a powerful forum for connection, practical knowledge, and economic opportunity at the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs. The Pride in Business Expo, taking place from 4-7 p.m., brings the region’s LGBTQ+ business community together to showcase businesses, build relationships, discover resources, and create new opportunities.

Queer Virginia Contributor Amy Bertsch will host “The Remarkable Visibility of Hannah Nokes” on Wednesday, Oct. 14 at 6 p.m. at Sprouse Rare Book Room inside the Kate Waller Barrett Branch Library (717 Queen St., Alexandria, Va.).

Amy will share the story of Hannah Nokes, an African-American transgender woman who made headlines in 1933 when she testified in a high-profile murder trial. Learn about Nokes’s life, her place in history, and the broader social context of her remarkable story. Her story is among those featured in the book “Queer Virginia: New Stories in the Old Dominion.”

Register at the Alexandria Library website.