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Spencer Perry continues moms’ tradition of activism

Son of Prop 8 plaintiffs reflects on marriage fight, stays involved at GWU

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Spencer Perry, Proposition 8, George Washington University, gay news, Washington Blade
Spencer Perry, Proposition 8, George Washington University, gay news, Washington Blade

Spencer Perry is a student at George Washington University and the son of Prop 8’s plaintiffs. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Spencer Perry takes after his parents.

The 19-year-old son of the lesbian plaintiff couple in the case against California’s Proposition 8 is straight, but as a freshman at George Washington University, he’s taken leadership roles in the school’s gay-straight alliance and LGBT graduate program.

In an interview with the Washington Blade at GWU’s Duques Hall, Spencer says he would pursue LGBT activism even if his parents — Kris Perry and Sandy Stier — weren’t plaintiffs in the case that restored marriage equality to California, because of his experience in youth government programs during his adolescence.

“Sometimes I got the opportunity to travel across the country and meet others with different views on LGBT rights,” Perry says. “More often than not, I found myself even just in conversations casually, advocating for my parents and advocating for the family that we have and families just like theirs. I really felt proud of myself doing that. It was a good feeling and I wanted to keep pursuing it.”

After growing up in Berkeley, Calif., which he calls a “bubble” in terms of support for LGBT people, Spencer enrolled at GWU, where he double majors in political science and economics. Shortly after enrolling, he was elected freshman representative for Allied in Pride and was appointed as a board member of GWU’s LGBT Health Graduate Certificate Program.

He moved to D.C., where he lives on campus at Thurston Hall, at the same time his parents relocated to the area after Kris Perry accepted a job as executive director of the First Five Years Fund, a non-profit that seeks early childhood education for disadvantaged children.

Spencer says his focus at Allied in Pride is getting the culture at GWU “to be more embracing of LGBT individuals” on campus.

The next big task? Preparing for the second annual amateur drag show set for Feb. 13 called “Allied in Greek” — a collaboration between the Allied in Pride and Greek life in which members of GWU’s fraternities and sororities dress up in drag. The goal for the event, which will take place at 7 p.m. at Lisner Auditorium, is to show support for fellow LGBT students and benefit The Trevor Project, which seeks to help LGBT youth considering suicide.

Nick Gumas, who’s gay and president of Allied in Pride, praised Perry.

“Spencer has been an important part of Allied in Pride since he joined at the start of last semester,” Gumas says. “He always brings his creativity and positive energy to all of our meetings and events. It has been an absolute pleasure getting to know Spencer and I know he is going to continue to do great things in the future.”

Spencer knows firsthand the feeling of having the rights of his family taken from him. On Election Day in 2008 — the same day that President Obama was elected to office — voters in California approved Prop 8, rescinding the marriage rights that gay couples already enjoyed in the state.

“Anyone will tell you who lived in California and is part of the LGBT community, that was a very embarrassing moment because No. 1, we elected a phenomenal president, the first black president, which was a terrific feeling to be part of that, but at the same time, Proposition 8 was passed, too,” he says.

The day the California Supreme Court upheld Prop 8, Kris Perry and Stier — along with Los Angeles couple Paul Katami and Jeffrey Zarrillo — filed a lawsuit in federal court seeking to overturn Prop 8. They were represented by the legal dream team of Ted Olson and David Boies, who were hired by the then newly formed American Foundation for Equal Rights.

The lawsuit wasn’t filed before Kris Perry, his birth mother, and Stier, who became his stepmother after a previous relationship Kris Perry had with another woman, asked their four children, including Spencer and his twin brother Elliott, whether it was OK.

“I remember one day after school right before dinner around that time, Kris and Sandy sat us down,” Spencer says. “They said, ‘Listen, we’ve been approached by this group called AFER and they’re interested in pursuing a lawsuit to overturn Proposition 8 as unconstitutional. We’re very interested, but we want to make a collective decision as a family. So they asked us if Elliott and I would be OK with that.”

It didn’t take much to convince Spencer to be willing to come on board.

“Elliott and I jumped at the opportunity,” he says.

At first, Spencer says his parents “did their darndest to keep us kind of protected” from the public interest surrounding the case. But as the case proceeded through the district court, to the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals and to the Supreme Court, and Spencer grew older and more interested in public affairs, he was able to speak out and talked to media outlets.

“I really did enjoy it,” Spencer says. “Not to be someone who’s devoted to attention, but it really was a good feeling to voice my opinion and to make sure people understand there are kids who have gay parents all across America.”

In addition to speaking at various news conferences, Spencer gave interviews to the San Francisco Chronicle, People magazine, the Los Angeles Times and New York Times, among others

One of the views against same-sex marriage that Spencer had to address — and one that he was living proof to counter — was the often-used argument that children of same-sex parents don’t fare as well as those raised by their opposite-sex biological parents.

“I’ve heard the argument a million and one times, but if anything, my gut reaction is that it’s kind of hurtful to hear that because my parents love each other, I’m worse off for it,” Spencer says. “I can’t tell you how loving and proud, and just absolutely supportive, my parents are of me. And how much better I am for them being my parents.”

After years of litigation, the case ended up before the U.S. Supreme Court, where justices ruled 5-4 that proponents of Prop 8 had no standing to defend the lawsuit, leaving in place a U.S. District Court decision from Judge Vaughn Walker that overturned the amendment on the grounds that it violated the equal protection rights of gay couples in the state.

But before that momentous decision, the justices scheduled oral arguments on March 26 to hear both sides in the case. Although Spencer wasn’t initially expecting to attend that day, an AFER board member was kind enough to give seats to allow him and Elliott to attend.

Spencer found himself sweating and uncomfortable as he observed Olson, anti-gay attorney Charles Cooper and Solicitor General Donald Verrilli makes their arguments before the justices, but for reasons other than the historic nature of the occasion.

“I caught food poisoning the night before,” Spencer says. “I never had food poisoning before, so I didn’t know what was happening, but I was just clenching the arms in my chair and sweating a little bit. I thought it was just nerves or something.”

Still, Spencer says he was inspired by what he saw, especially the comments from U.S. Associate Justice Anthony Kennedy.

“It was absolutely fantastic, especially listening to Justice Kennedy, it really touched my heart when he spoke about the kids who were involved in these cases, the children who belong to these families and feel disenfranchised by their government,” Spencer says.

Decision day came on June 28. This time Spencer wasn’t in D.C. — even though his parents were there to celebrate along with Human Rights Campaign President Chad Griffin on the steps of the Supreme Court — and instead was in North Carolina with other students involved in the debate team.

“The entire period when I was doing that, I was checking my phone, checking my Twitter, Instagram, everything I could get my hands on, every media outlet if it was going to happen,” Spencer says.

Despite the ups and downs as the case went through the courts, Spencer says the experience as a whole was positive and brought him closer to his family.

“Looking back on it, I feel immensely proud of my moms,” Spencer says. “I never felt closer to them than when I saw Kris and Sandy testifying in front of a federal judge. Even now, I still feel proud to know that they changed the lives of so many people for the better.”

Peter Rosenstein, a gay Democratic activist and friend of Spencer’s, calls him “a great kid” and says the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in terms of the pursuit of activism shared by his parents.

“I enjoyed his response when I was first introduced to him and asked if he was gay or straight,” Rosenstein says. “He said, ‘straight, my mom’s didn’t rub off on me’ to which I responded my parents didn’t rub off on me either. I think his being at GW will be great for the school and great for all the kids that meet him.”

What should the national LGBT movement focus on next? Spencer says it should be winning state battles on marriage equality throughout the country, so when the issue returns to the Supreme Court, justices will make a favorable ruling for gay couples throughout the country.

“There’s going to be political ideology in any ruling, and there’s going to be influence in public opinion, but I think the way that public opinion has absolutely shifted in the past four years in support of marriage equality and LGBT rights, it really does speak to the fact that there’s an opportunity for a national precedent on marriage equality in the Supreme Court,” Spencer says.

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District of Columbia

Dr. Fauci receives Harvey Milk Award, reflects on legacy of love and public health

The legendary public health leader was honored by a D.C. LGBTQ synagogue for his lifetime of compassionate service and advocacy.

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Dr. Anthony Fauci (Washington Blade file photo by Lou Chibbaro, Jr.)

A buzz of anticipation filled Cafritz Hall on Wednesday evening. Though a few seats remained empty, the atmosphere suggested a pop star might be moments from taking the stage. But the spotlight wasn’t reserved for a chart-topping performer—it was focused on a different kind of icon.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the former director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), stepped forward to receive the Harvey Milk Chesed Award—an honor recognizing compassion, courage, and a lifetime of public service.

The Harvey Milk Chesed Award was established by Bet Mishpachah in 1998 in honor of civil rights leader Harvey Milk. Milk, a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors and one of the first openly gay elected officials in the United States, was assassinated in 1978 following his public advocacy for LGBTQ rights. Bet Mishpachah gives out the award annually to an individual who has made “outstanding contributions to the LGBTQ+ and Jewish communities that exemplify the virtue of chesed, or ‘lovingkindness.’”

The program began promptly at 7 p.m. at Bet Mishpachah, Washington’s LGBTQ egalitarian synagogue, and featured a diverse lineup of speakers, including rabbis, physicians, professors, synagogue members, and past recipients of the Harvey Milk Chesed Award. While each speaker highlighted different facets of Dr. Fauci’s career – from his leadership during public health crises to his engagement with Jewish and LGBTQ communities- a unifying theme emerged: his unwavering commitment to doing what’s right, even in the face of political opposition, including from presidents.

Fauci, who was director of the NIAID from 1984 to 2022, was at the forefront of understanding and combating some of the deadliest diseases known to humanity, including tuberculosis, Zika, and HIV/AIDS. As the HIV/AIDS epidemic escalated and frustration with federal inaction mounted, Fauci took an unconventional step for a high-ranking public health official: He began engaging directly with the activists demanding change. That simple act of listening, he later explained, shaped his understanding of what patients truly needed — even when it meant defying the prevailing wisdom of the medical establishment.

“I developed long-term friendships with the activists,” Fauci said in a 2023 interview with PBS’ American Masters. “We were sort of like soldiers in the same war.”

This spirit of solidarity echoed throughout the night’s speakers, beginning with Barry Friedman, who delivered welcoming remarks to the crowd. Friedman began his introduction with a Hebrew phrase that, at first glance, might not seem to align with a man devoted to the rigor of medical science. But as he explained, it was a phrase Fauci exemplified.

“Lo tukhal l’hitaleim,” Friedman read from his notes, explaining that this message was hailed in his youth as the “11th commandment” by his mother. “You must not remain indifferent,” he translated.

Fauci, Friedman explained, remained steadfast in the principles of medicine while also showing deep compassion for those living with HIV and AIDS. He advocated for changes to drug trial protocols—convincing researchers to allow patients to “parallel track” experimental treatments, even when doing so went against past medical norms. This shift helped extend lives and alleviate symptoms in those most affected by the disease.

As the night continued, speaker after speaker reflected on the extraordinary achievements Fauci helped bring about—not just through scientific breakthroughs, but by listening to the people who were so often ignored. Fauci credited activists like Larry Kramer for ensuring the needs of HIV/AIDS patients could not be overlooked.

One of those speakers, Jeff Levi, an emeritus professor at the Milken Institute School of Public Health at George Washington University, former deputy director of the White House Office of National AIDS Policy, and a close friend of Fauci, led a panel discussion where the two expanded on stories from Fauci’s 2024 bestselling book “On Call: A Doctor’s Journey in Public Service.” During the panel, Fauci reflected on how his Jesuit Catholic upbringing helped shape a moral compass that transcended religious, cultural, and political boundaries in his public health work, and how he was able to navigate such a difficult time in medical history.

While it’s nearly impossible to calculate how many lives Fauci has helped save, the numbers point to an extraordinary legacy. Millions of LGBTQ people owe their survival in part to his efforts to understand how HIV spread, how it progressed, and how its symptoms could be mitigated. In addition, more than 25 million people worldwide- mostly in sub-Saharan Africa- have benefited from PEPFAR, the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, which Fauci played a key role in creating.

Following the panel, Fauci took questions from the audience, reflecting on both his legacy and the enduring power of public advocacy.

“The gay community wasn’t afraid to speak up in the 1980s,” he told one audience member, who asked about the parallels between HIV/AIDS and the COVID-19 pandemic, and what people could do now to offset some of the… less than factual ‘information’ being presented as truth from the Trump administration. “And we can’t be afraid to speak up now.”

When asked what message he hopes young LGBTQ doctors will take from his life’s work, Fauci paused, then offered a heartfelt answer. “I don’t want to sound too melodramatic, but we need to love each other.”

As the crowd filtered out of the hall and only a handful of Fauci admirers lingered in line for a signed book, the Blade caught up with the evening’s honoree. Asked how it felt to receive the Harvey Milk Chesed Award, Fauci’s response was characteristically humble.

“It was a terrific honor to be given an award by this community,” he said with a warm smile—an understated close to an evening that celebrated a lifetime of extraordinary impact.

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Comings & Goings

SC Nealy joins Equality Arlington board; Lee Ann Wilkinson Group scores another #1 ranking

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Lee Ann Wilkinson

The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at [email protected]

The Comings & Goings column also invites LGBTQ college students to share their successes with us. If you have been elected to a student government position, gotten an exciting internship, or are graduating and beginning your career with a great job, let us know so we can share your success. 

Congratulations to The Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, which retained its #1 ranking in sales production at Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Worldwide, for the second consecutive year. 

 “Last year when we achieved #1, I was truly shocked,” said Lee Ann Wilkinson. “I never thought our little piece of paradise here in southern Delaware could compete with the larger states and more expensive markets. Achieving this level of recognition on an international scale for a second year is surreal. I couldn’t be prouder of my dedicated team, whose hard work and commitment to exceptional service make achievements like this possible. We are fortunate to do what we love, and to see our efforts recognized at this level is an honor. It’s amazing to reflect on four decades of serving our clients, whose loyalty and support have made this journey so special.”

SC Nealy

Congratulations also to SC Nealy, LPC, on becoming a new board member of Equality Arlington. Nealy said, “I have always been passionate about creating more accessible and queer celebratory mental health care for the LGBTQIA2S+ community in the DMV area, and I’m excited to work with Equality Arlington to keep working toward that goal and many others for our community here.”

Nealy has more than 15 years in the mental health field. They are a queer, gender fluid psychotherapist, clinical supervisor, and group practice owner in Arlington, Va. Nealy operates a team of all gay and trans-identifying therapists with the focus of bringing clinicians with lived experiences to the queer community and their families. They also work locally and nationally to advocate for queer rights, accessible mental health care, and bringing more awareness to the needs of the queer community. Their upcoming book published by Bloomsbury Academics, “Healing Sacred Wounds,” focuses on providing a guide map for processing and exploring their experiences in religious or spiritual trauma. As a therapist, Nealy specializes in religious trauma, female and genderfluid-identifying couples counseling, mixed orientation marriages, complex-PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, interpersonal process group therapy, and non-faith based premarital counseling. In their personal life, they are a parent to two children, happily partnered, and write romance novels for fun. Nealy received the 2024 Humanitarian and Caring Person of the Year Award, Virginia Counselors Association. 

Nealy earned a bachelor’s degree with honors in psychology from Marymount University, a master’s in clinical and mental health counseling from Marymount; and a master’s in forensic psychology, also from Marymount.

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District of Columbia

Mayor joins ribbon-cutting for opening of D.C. LGBTQ seniors home

Mary’s House for Older Adults operates facility for 15 senior

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Mary’s House is located at 401 Anacostia Rd., S.E. in the city’s Fort Dupont neighborhood. (Washington Blade photo by Lou Chibbaro, Jr.)

Close to 100 people joined D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser, two members of the D.C. Council, and other city officials for a ribbon-cutting ceremony marking the official opening of Mary’s House for Older Adults, the city’s first home dedicated to LGBTQ seniors.

Located at 401 Anacostia Rd., S.E. in the city’s Fort Dupont neighborhood, the three-story house includes 15 single-occupancy residential units and more than 5,000 square feet of communal living space.

Imani Woody, the Mary’s House President, CEO, and founder, said construction of the new house, which is located on the site of the house she grew up in, was completed in January and residents began moving in in March. She said there is now a waiting list for those interested in living there.

Bowser and Woody were among nine city officials and community leaders who spoke at the event in a large outdoor courtyard behind the house that’s part of Mary’s House grounds.

“You are providing housing,” Bowser told Woody in her remarks at the event. “You are providing a solution to the epidemic of loneliness. You are providing a vehicle for Washingtonians to stay in Washington,” the mayor said. “And you are showing that a woman with an idea who cannot be stopped can deliver for D.C.”

Bowser called Mary’s House a model for senior housing that she said could be brought to other parts of the city.

Woody thanked the mayor and the D.C. Council for providing city funding to support Mary’s House.

“This house is amazing,” she told the gathering. “It houses 15 people. But the concept is more than 15 people,” she said. “This is a place for residents of Washington, D.C., LGBTQ+ same-gender-loving to have a safe space.” 

Among the others participating in the event were Japer Bowles, director of the  Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs, and D.C. Council members Robert White (D-At-Large) and Wendell Felder (D-Ward 7).

Felder, who noted that Mary’s House is located in Ward 7, which he represents, called the ward a “welcoming community” that absolutely has welcomed Mary’s House.

“Mary’s House represents more than just bricks and mortar,” he told the gathering. “It’s a testament to what we can achieve when we commit to justice, inclusion and community. It recognizes that our elders, especially those in the LGBTQ+ and same-gender-loving communities, in a diverse space that honors their full identity and provides not only shelter but affirmation and belonging.”

Woody said each of the 15 individual units or suites at Mary’s House includes a sleeping area, living room, bathroom, and kitchenette with a sink, microwave and refrigerator but no stove. The Mary’s House website says the shared communal areas of the house include a “fully equipped kitchen, separate dining area and living room.”

It says the communal area also includes a computer room, arts and crafts room, an exercise room, laundry facilities, community meeting space, a “tranquil quiet room for relaxation,” and an outdoor terrace with seating.

Woody points out that Mary’s House, which is a nonprofit operation, is not an assisted living facility.

The website statement adds, “Through health and wellness programs, connections to community services, and advocacy efforts, Mary’s House for Older Adults endeavors to ensure that all elders, regardless of identity, can enjoy fulfilling and secure lives in their golden years.”

Further information about Mary’s House, including the availability of space to live, can be obtained at MarysHouseDC.org or at 240-972-2500.

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