a&e features
Why do so many gay couples open up their relationships?
Many of us are on autopilot, but we can build more meaningful connections
As gay men, we’ve been through a lot.
For so many years we were deep in the closet, fearful of being arrested, and threatened with pseudo-medical cures.
Then came the Stonewall uprising, the declassification of homosexuality as a psychiatric disorder, and the defeat of sodomy laws. And finally, the legalization of gay marriage.
Now—at least in some parts of the world — we’re free to live our lives exactly like everyone else. No one gets to tell us how to live, whom to love, or what we can or can’t do in the bedroom. We alone call the shots.
Then again, maybe we’re not as free as we think. Ever wonder why so many of us open our relationships? Are we always really deciding for ourselves how we want to live?
Or are we sometimes on autopilot, blithely following expectations and norms of which we aren’t even aware, oblivious to the possible consequences?
Spring, 1987: Although I didn’t know it at the time, my own introduction to the world of gay relationships was following a script that countless gay men have lived.
Growing up in that era, there were no visible gay relationships, no role models. Astoundingly, a gay porn theater/bathhouse did advertise in the Washington Post, my hometown paper, when I was a kid. While this was titillating, I dreamed of something more traditional and soulful for my future than the anonymous encounters and orgies at which those ads hinted.
So when hunky, adorable Justin* asked me out after a meeting of the campus gay group and we started dating, I was over the moon. That is, until my friends Ben and Tom, an older gay couple, shot me right back down to earth when, one evening over dinner, they asked if Justin and I were “exclusive.”
Huh? What a question!
“Just wait,” Tom said knowingly, “Gay men never stay monogamous for long.”
More than 30 years have passed, and the world of gay male relationships remains pretty much the same. Working as a psychologist for the past 25 years, I’ve listened to hundreds of gay clients share their own versions of my long-ago dinner with Ben and Tom. “We just assumed we’d be monogamous, but then this older gay couple told us, ‘yeah, let’s see how long that lasts.’ So we decided to open up our relationship and start playing around.”
New generations have the possibility of proudly visible relationships and recently, marriage. And still, for many of us, open relationships are seen as the default choice in one form or another: “Monogamish.” Only when one partner is out-of-town. Never the same person twice. Only when both partners are present. No kissing. No intercourse. No falling in love. Never in the couple’s home. Never in the couple’s bed. Don’t ask, don’t tell. Disclose everything. Anything goes.
Examining our affinity for non-monogamy can be seen as judgmental or anti-gay, “sex-negative,” tantamount to suggesting that gay men should mimic a heterosexual model that is patriarchal, misogynist, oppressive — and maybe not even really workable for straight people. Questioning our penchant for casual sex while we are coupled is also seen as a challenge to the inspirational (to some) narrative that gay men, free of the constraints of history and tradition, are constructing a fresh, vibrant model of relationships that decouples the unnecessary, pesky, and troublesome bond between emotional fidelity and sexual exclusivity.
But we do not honor our diversity if we expect that any of us should choose (or not choose) any particular role or path. After all, gay men are just as multidimensional, complex, and unique as other men.
And while an open relationship may be the best relationship for some couples to have, successfully being in one requires capabilities that many of us do not possess. Simply being a gay man certainly does not automatically provide skills such as:
The solidity of self to be trusting and generous
The ability to sense how far boundaries can be pushed without doing too much damage
The capacity to transcend feelings of jealousy and pain
The strength of character not to objectify or idealize outside sex partners.
Yes, open relationships can be as close, loving, and committed as monogamous relationships, which of course have their own difficulties. But even when conducted with thought, caution, and care, they can easily result in hurt and feelings of betrayal.
Moreover, open relationships are often designed to keep important experiences secret or unspoken between partners. Clients will tell me they do not want to know exactly what their partner is doing with other men, preferring to maintain a fantasy (or delusion) that certain lines will not be crossed. As a result, the ways in which we structure our open relationships can easily interfere with intimacy—knowing, and being known by our partners.
Consequently, we gay men often struggle to form solid, mutually respectful attachments that include both emotional and physical connection. Might any of these scenarios be familiar to you?
Jim and Rob came in to see me after a disastrous cruise with eight of their friends. Although it had not been their plan, between them they had ended up separately having sex with all eight. This had broken several of their “rules,” although as Jim pointed out, the rules were unclear because they often made them up to suit whatever they wanted to do, or not allow each other to do. Each partner’s ongoing anger over how his partner was hurting him by ignoring admittedly ad-hoc sexual boundaries meant that Jim and Rob hadn’t had sex with each other in two years.
Another couple I work with, Frank and Scott, have had an open relationship from the start. When they met, Frank felt strongly that monogamy had no relevance to him as a gay man. Though Scott wanted a sexually exclusive relationship, he somewhat reluctantly went along with Frank’s wishes because he wanted to be with Frank. In recent years the two have become near-constant users of hookup apps, and recently Scott met a younger man on Scruff with whom he has “great chemistry.” Now, to Frank’s dismay, Scott is dating Todd.
Carlos and Greg came to see me after Carlos discovered that Greg was hooking up numerous times a month. Although they had a “don’t-ask-don’t-tell” agreement and both assumed the other was occasionally having sex with other men, Greg’s behavior was far more frequent than Carlos had imagined or wanted to accept in his marriage. Greg was steadfast in his conviction that because he was following their rules, his hookups could not be negatively impacting his relationship with Carlos.
Beyond the hurt, enmity, reduced commitment, lack of connection, and distance they experience, men in these situations often tell me that their relationships and their lives have become overwhelmed by their pursuit of sex.
Another potential drawback to an open relationship: Yes, multiple partners are an easy (and fun) fix for sexual boredom. But when hot times can be easily found with others, we may feel little incentive to put sustained energy into keeping sex with our partners interesting. My educated guess: This is why many gay couples in open relationships have little or no sex with each other, just as a twosome.
Finally, it is troubling how easily, in our open relationship/hookup culture, we objectify those we have sex with and see other men as disposable, replaceable bodies. Treating others and being treated in this manner does not advance our respectfully relating to each other, nor does it benefit our self-esteem as men and as gay men.
What is influencing these behaviors?
Gay men lean toward non-monogamy for many interconnected reasons.
Men (stereotype acknowledged) often enjoy pursuing and having no-strings sex, so gay men readily find willing partners. Open relationships, seemingly fun and unconstrained, offering a stream of new partners to reduce the monotony of an ongoing relationship, can be intrinsically alluring. Gay men’s sexual connections have historically not been governed by societal rules, so we’ve been able to do pretty much whatever we want, as long as we’ve flown way under the radar.
And, open relationships are what we predominantly see around us as the relationship model for gay men, for the reasons noted above and also in large part due to the influence of gay history and gay culture.
For a deeper understanding of this last point, let’s take a whirlwind tour though gay male history in the Western world (much of which overlaps with lesbian herstory). Ancient, recent, forgotten, familiar, all of it is impacting our lives today.
Since at least the fourth century C.E., as Christianity gained influence, homosexual behavior was illegal in Europe, often punishable by death, and European settlers brought these laws with them to what became the United States. Some periods were relatively more tolerant, others less so. France became the first Western nation to decriminalize homosexuality after the 1791 Revolution, but harsh laws remained and were enforced throughout the Western world well into the 20th century. (And at present, 78 countries still have laws prohibiting homosexual behavior; punishments in some include the death penalty.)
Following World War II, America’s McCarthy “Red Scare” of the 1950s was accompanied by a campaign against the “Lavender Menace,” resulting in hundreds of homosexual government employees being fired. The anti-gay environment in the United States, similar to that in other Western countries, included FBI tracking of suspected homosexuals; the postal service monitoring mail for “obscene” materials including mailings from early gay rights organizations; prison terms for homosexual acts between consenting adults; and nightmarish “treatments” for homosexuality including chemical castration. Obviously, under conditions such as these, gay men had a difficult time congregating openly, meeting each other, or forming relationships. Many gay men lived fearful lives of isolation and furtive sexual encounters.
To get a chilling sense of what it was like to live as a gay man in this era, view William E. Jones’s “Tearoom” on the Internet. The film presents actual surveillance footage from a police sting operation of men meeting for sex in an Ohio restroom in 1962. The men’s fear is palpable, and the absence of affection or connection between them is heartbreaking.
While in 1967 parts of the United Kingdom decriminalized homosexuality, 1969 is known as the start of the modern gay rights movement because in June of that year, patrons of the Stonewall Bar in New York City fiercely fought back against a routine police raid. Following Stonewall, we began to congregate and organize openly, to throw off the cloak of shame, and to fight against third-class status. (In 29 of the United States it remained legal to fire someone simply for being gay until the June Supreme Court ruling in the Bostock case. The scope of that ruling is still being debated.)
During the 1970s, with sexual liberation coming on the heels of the civil rights era, the gay rights movement gained momentum. The American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder in 1973. We became more visible, and gay culture—bookstores, bars, political organizations, and sex clubs—flourished as gay men rejected living in fear and openly celebrated their sexuality.
But by the late 1970s, HIV was silently making its way into the gay community. As men began to fall sick and die in staggering numbers early in the 1980s, anti-gay sentiment again exploded, and we began to equate our own sexuality with death. Yet the AIDS epidemic ultimately led our community to coalesce and strengthen, organizing to care for our ill and to fight for effective treatment, leading to greater visibility and acceptance, and providing some of the organizational groundwork for the equal rights battles that continue today.
History influences culture, and both our history and culture influence who we become, and how we lead our erotic and intimate lives. Modern gay culture developed in an environment of justified fear.
Often, the only possibility for us to meet for any sort of intimate encounter was through hookups and anonymous encounters. When connecting, we had to keep one eye over our shoulders, scanning for danger (this can literally be seen in Tearoom). Can such connections really be termed intimate?
For most of us, the days of outright surveillance are over. But the patterns of interacting that developed over many years have been passed down through the generations and still influence us in the present, even those of us who don’t face losing our jobs, family support, freedom, or lives if our sexual orientation is discovered. The longstanding need to hide, scan, and be vigilant has helped shape a culture of gay male interaction that— even when we are partnered — often centers on brief encounters, putting greater emphasis on sexual connection than on knowing and being known as multidimensional physical and emotional beings.
At the opposite end of the spectrum: The era of exuberant sexual liberation that followed Stonewall. In part as a reaction to our identity having been badly stigmatized and gay sex having been literally forbidden, both pre-Stonewall and to some degree in the era of AIDS and safer-sex campaigns, gay male culture has leaned toward placing strong emphasis on sex and hooking up. As a result, we often get the message that to be a successful gay man, we should be sexually desirable, open to sex, and have frequent conquests.
Other related factors that can contribute to our so easily leaning away from monogamy and toward multiple partners include:
The stigma around being gay denies many of us opportunities to date and romance early in life. Instead, the experiences of growing up gay, having to hide, and having difficulty discerning who might be a willing partner often lead us to have our first experiences in anonymity and shame, learning how to be sexual apart from and before we learn how to be close. As a result, we’re likely to have a hard time connecting sex and emotional intimacy. Moreover, our early experiences can set our arousal templates to be most aroused by secrecy, risk, anonymity, and being a sexual outlaw.
Internalized homo-negativity from growing up in a culture that has stigmatized homosexuality and gay relationships may lead us to absorb the idea that our relationships, and gay men generally, are “less than.” Consequently, we may think that we, our significant others, our relationships, and our sex partners are unworthy of honor and respect; and we may easily behave in ways that reflect these beliefs, pursuing pleasure without considering the possible costs to what we say we hold dear. And we may not even realize we hold these beliefs.
As gay men, we are likely to have grown up feeling defective and hiding our true selves from our closest family and friends, fearing rejection. When children and young people don’t get a sense that they are loved for whom they really are, and instead grow up seeing themselves as damaged, it’s difficult to develop a positive sense of self-worth. Many of us are still seeking to heal this wound through our ongoing pursuit of sex and the companion feeling of being desired by another man, unaware of what is driving this pursuit.
Alcohol and other substance abuse are entrenched in gay culture, in great part as a means of soothing the isolation, distress, anxiety, and depression that many of us experience from living in an often-hostile world. Clients routinely tell me they are in a chemically altered state when they make decisions to engage in extracurricular sexual interactions that threaten or damage their primary relationships.
One more key factor, true for all relationships: While closeness can feel good, being close also means being vulnerable, which is scary. Open relationships can be a way for us to keep some distance from each other in an attempt to keep ourselves safer.
I became a psychologist at a time when gay relationships weren’t getting much societal support, with the goal of helping gay couples thrive despite a deck stacked heavily against us. Over the years, I’ve learned that some of the most important work I can do with gay male clients is to help them be more thoughtful about their choices, so that they can better develop stronger, more nurturing, more loving relationships.
We gay men often keep our eyes closed to the ways that we may be damaging our relationships through some of our most commonplace, accepted, and ingrained behaviors. Obviously, it can be painful to acknowledge that we may be harming ourselves through seemingly fun, innocuous choices, or to acknowledge the possible downsides of our ubiquitous open relationships.
Nevertheless, there is great value for each of us in figuring out, as individuals, what it means to live in a way that we respect; in holding our behavior up to our own standards, and only our own standards; and in clarifying how we want to live life even when there is pressure, from the outside world and from other gay men, to live differently.
Pressure from other gay men? That’s right.
On first thought one might think that we gay men would have no trouble standing up to others’ expectations. Certainly it’s true that openly acknowledging we are gay despite societal judgment and pressure to “be” heterosexual demonstrates a strong ability to be true to ourselves, and to manage our anxiety in the face of tough challenges.
But beyond the expectations of society-at-large are the expectations of gay culture about what it means to be a successful gay man. Here is where many of us can get wobbly.
Not finding complete acceptance in the larger world, we have the hope that by coming out, we will finally feel a sense of really belonging somewhere. If this means behaving in the ways that peers do, taking on what we perceive to be the values of our community in order to fit in, many of us are willing to ignore our own feelings, and possibly our souls, so as to not feel excluded yet again.
Jim and Rob, the couple who had sex with all their friends on their cruise, are sitting in my office, with my dog Aviv snoozing at their feet. After some consideration, they had decided to stop having sex with other men for a while, to see if this would help them to feel closer and re-start their sex life with each other. The rancor had decreased and they reported enjoying having sex together again.
Their news: Jim has decided to enroll in a graduate program on the other side of the country, and they are discussing how this will affect their sex life.
“Of course we’re going to have to make some allowances for this,” Jim says.
I look at him quizzically.
“I mean, we might not see each other for a month or two at a time. So we need to have an agreement that we’ll have sex with other guys.”
Rob nods in agreement.
I ask them how they each anticipate the impact of both again having sex with others. They respond with shrugs.
“You know, our friends Bill and Dave—Bill has been working in Argentina for the last two years and they only see each other every three or four months. They’re definitely hooking up with other guys,” Jim notes.
“I mean, what else would we do?” adds Rob. “Not have sex for eight weeks?”
If I didn’t regularly have similar conversations with other coupled gay clients, I would be stunned that neither man is stopping to consider his own feelings about what it would mean to resume an open relationship. Both are focusing solely on their perceived need to have sex regularly, and on the notion that this is simply how gay couples should operate.
So much of gay history, culture, and relational development are shaping this moment.
When working with a couple like Jim and Rob, I do my best not to accept much as “simply a given.” Here are the questions that I wonder about with them: What have your hopes been for couplehood, and how is reality lining up with those hopes? How have you made your choices? How is your relationship working for you? What is most important to you?
As with Jim and Rob, I often find that clients haven’t considered these questions much. “It’s what our friends do” is the most frequent answer for how they have made the choice to have an open relationship. Many times it seems to me as if there’s a fog around these men’s thinking about their relationships.
I don’t want to contribute to the fog by colluding with them to believe that the particular heartbreaks that can come with carelessly conducted open relationships are unavoidable; that our relationships are not in fact fragile; or that we gay men must establish our relationships along certain lines simply because that is how it is “usually done.”
And when I challenge these clients to go deeper than stating that they are just doing what everyone else does? “Yes, it’s a struggle” is the answer I usually get. “It is painful when my husband doesn’t come home till the next morning.” And then: “But isn’t this how gay men have relationships? It’s what everyone around me is doing.”
These are the poignant and troubling words I hear again and again, echoing what I was told by my friends back in 1987.
Given the numerous interrelated factors that shape our choices in the realm of sex, it is difficult to envision gay men making significant changes in how we operate, especially as committed relationships are—at present—becoming less popular among younger people of all sexual orientations.
But when we look at the arc of gay existence over the past 50 years, from the shadows to the margins of tolerance to marriage equality, it is clear that surprising and dramatic shifts are possible.
So I am hopeful that we gay men can get off autopilot and become more aware of the factors contributing to how we construct and manage our relationships. And I am hopeful that this awareness can go a long way toward our making ever more thoughtful choices, respectful of ourselves and our partners, that help us to build stronger, closer, and more rewarding relationships.
(All names and identifying information changed in this article.)
a&e features
Your guide to the many Pride celebrations in D.C. region
Scores of events scheduled across DMV amid WorldPride excitement
June is just around the corner, but Pride events have already begun in the region. There are many events scheduled in D.C. for WorldPride 2025, as well as for D.C. Black Pride, Trans Pride, Silver Pride, Latinx Pride, API Pride and Youth Pride. Cities and towns in the region also offer their own LGBTQ Pride festivals and parades.
D.C. API Pride has events scheduled from May 17-June 8 with meetings, shows, concerts, workshops and socials. Highlights include the API Pride Welcome Reception on Wednesday, June 4 at the National Union Building (918 F Street, N.W.); a screening of Saving Face with Director Alice Wu on Sunday June 1 from 2-4 p.m. at the Smithsonian Asian Art Museum (1050 Independence Avenue, S.W.); the Desi & South Asian Drag Show on Thursday, June 5 from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. at Sinners & Saints (639 Florida Avenue, N.W.); and the QTAPI Nightlife Extravaganza on Friday, June 6 from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. at Koi Lounge (1413 K Street, N.W.) Visit qtapidc.org/apipride for more information and to register for events.
D.C. Silver Pride is scheduled for Wednesday, May 21 from 4-7 p.m. at the Eaton Hotel (1201 K Street, N.W.). The resource fair and tea dance is hosted by Rayceen Pendarvis.
D.C. Latinx Pride has events scheduled from May 16-June 19. Highlights include a kickoff reception on Thursday, May 22 from 8-10 p.m. at Shakers DC (2014 9th Street, N.W.); La Fe, a celebration of faith and resilience, at the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington (474 Ridge Street, N.W.) on Sunday, May 25 from 10:30 a.m. until 1:30 p.m.; La Fiesta: the Official Latinx Pride Party at Bunker (2001 14th Street, N.W.) on Thursday, May 29 at from 9 p.m. until 3 a.m.; as well as parties, a history walking tour, a film festival, panel discussions and more. Tickets are available for the Official Latinx Pride Party at latinxhistoryproject.org and run from $15 to $76.
Trans Pride Washington, D.C. is scheduled for May 17 beginning with registration at 9:30 a.m., a resource fair from 10 a.m.-4 p.m., panel discussions and workshops throughout the day, the Engendered Spirit Awards at 4 and a keynote speech by Schuyler Bailar with an afterparty scheduled for 6-9:30 p.m. RSVP at transpridewashingtondc.org. Location is shared after RSVP.
D.C. Youth Pride has events scheduled from May 30-June 7 in various locations throughout the city. Registration is free but required. Youth Pride Day is scheduled for May 31 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Woolly Mammoth Theater Company (641 D Street, N.W.). The event is for LGBTQ+ youth ages 6-18 years old and their parents/caregivers/family (those over 18 must be accompanying an attendee 18 years of age or younger). Register on Eventbrite. Other events include the “Pride Rising” event on Friday, May 30 for LGBTQ+ young adults, a Teen Pride Night, a book launch and a “Proud to Teach” mixer for LGBTQ+ educations at Crush Dance Bar (2007 14th Street, N.W.) on Thursday, June 5 from 6-8:30 p.m.
D.C. Black Pride
The 34th annual D.C. Black Pride has events scheduled from Wednesday, May 21 through Monday, May 26 at the Capital Hilton (1101 16th Street, N.W.) and other venues throughout the city.
Thurst Lounge (2204 14th Street, N.W.) is holding a Thurstnik Reloaded extended hours nightlife event from May 21-26. The event is free; no tickets or wristbands are required.
Xavier Entertainment presents 5 days with 8 events for Black Pride with Supreme Fantasy 2025 from May 22-26. Passes are available at xavierpartydc.com. Events include the DC Black World Pride Kickoff party at Nellie’s Sports Bar (900 U Street, N.W.) on Thursday, May 22; the 3000 Men Block party at Karma (2221 Adams Place, N.E.) on Friday, May 23; Official DC Black Pride After Hours parties at Power Nightclub (2335 Bladensburg Road, N.E.) are scheduled for Saturday, May 24, Sunday, May 25 and Monday, May 26 from 4-8 a.m.; the Cook Out Party is scheduled for Saturday, May 24 from 5-9 p.m. at Aqua Nightclub (1818 New York Avenue, N.E.); the 5000 Men Meatloaf Saturday Rooftop Party featuring headliner Yung Miami at Public Nightclub (1214 18th Street, N.W.) on Saturday, May 24 from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m.; the DC Black World Pride Main Event at Nellie’s Sports Bar (900 U Street, N.W.) is scheduled for Sunday, May 25 starting at 4 p.m.; the Meatloaf After Dark party at Power Nightclub (2335 Bladensburg Road, N.E.) is scheduled for Monday, May 26 from 10 p.m. until 2 a.m.
The Welcome to D.C. Happy Hour is scheduled for Thursday, May 22 from 5-10 p.m. at Metrobar (640 Rhode Island Avenue, N.E.).
The Welcome to D.C. Happy Hour is scheduled for Thursday, May 22 from 5-10 p.m. at Decades Rooftop (1219 Connecticut Avenue, N.W.). Purchase tickets at blisspride.com.
The 9th annual D.C. Black Pride Unity Free Ball is scheduled for Thursday, May 22 from 9 p.m. until 1 a.m. at the Capital Hilton Hotel (1001 16th Street, N.W.). RSVP at Eventbrite for the free event.
Daryl Wilson Promotions presents The Pregame Act 1 party scheduled for Thursday, May 22 from 10 p.m. until 2 a.m. at The Ugly Mug (723 8th Street, S.E.).
The Welcome Reception is scheduled for Friday, May 23 at 3 p.m. until 9 a.m. on Saturday at the Capital Hilton Hotel (1001 16th Street, N.W.).
The 34th annual D.C. Black Pride Opening Reception is scheduled for Friday, May 23 from 5-10 p.m. at the Capital Hilton Hotel (1001 16th Street, N.W.). Special guests include Kerri Colby, TS Madison and Monroe Alise.
The Bliss Pastel Party, a women’s event, is scheduled for Friday, May 23 from 10 p.m. until 3 a.m. at Strand (1400 Eye Street, N.W.). $20 advance tickets are available at Blisspride.com.
The Capital House Music Festival salutes Sam the Man Burns at a free music festival featuring artists and DJs on May 24 from 10 a.m. until 9:30 p.m. at Alethia Tanner Park (227 Harry Thomas Way, N.E.).
The “For the Culture” Brunch Cruise is scheduled for Saturday, May 24 aboard The Spirit of Washington. Boarding time is 11:15 a.m. at the dock at 580 Water Street, S.W. The boat returns to the dock at 3 p.m.
The Writers Forum, a panel of Black, LGBTQ+ writers, is scheduled for Saturday, May 24 from 1-3 p.m. at the Capital Hilton Hotel (1001 16th Street, N.W.).
Daryl Wilson Promotions presents the “Infamous” Saturday Day Party on May 24 from 5-11 p.m. at The Park (1201 Half Street, S.E.).
The Mary Bowman Poetry Slam Open Mic is scheduled for Saturday, May 24 from 6-8 p.m. at the Capital Hilton Hotel (1001 16th Street, N.W.). Twelve of performance poets from around the country compete for over $1,500 in prizes in a night of poetry hosted by Kenneth Something.
The Pure Bliss Party, a women’s event, is scheduled for Saturday, May 24 from 10 p.m. until 3 a.m. at Strand (1400 Eye Street, N.W.). Tickets are $25 in advance and available at Blisspride.com.
The Capitol Ballroom Council presents Brunch & Babes: DC Black Pride WorldPride Edition at Hook Hall (3400 Georgia Avenue, N.W.) on Sunday, May 25 from noon until 4 p.m. The drag event, hosted by Sophia McIntosh, features a brunch buffet and giveaways. Tickets are $20-$80.
The Clubhouse 50th anniversary “Children’s Hour Party” with special guest Rochelle Fleming is scheduled for Sunday, May 25 from 3-9 p.m. at Bravo Bravo (1001 Connecticut Ave., N.W.).
Daryl Wilson Promotions presents The Wet Dreams Mega Day Party scheduled for Sunday, May 25 from 5-11 p.m. at The Bullpen (1201 Half Street, N.E.).
D.C. Black Pride 2025 Closeout – The Finale is scheduled for Sunday, May 25 from 6-10 p.m. at Twelve After Twelve (1212 18h Street, N.W.). $15 advance tickets are available at Blisspride.com.
Daryl Wilson Events is hosting the Sunday Night Super Party on Sunday, May 25 from 10 p.m. until 4 a.m. on Monday at The Park (920 14th Street, N.W.).
Pride in the Park is scheduled for Monday, May 26 from 12-7 p.m. at Fort Dupont Park (Minnesota Avenue, S.E.).
The World Pride Black Queer Film Festival is scheduled for May 27-29 from 6-9 p.m. at Howard University’s Blackburn Digital Auditorium (2397 6th Street, N.W.). The event is free, but RSVP and see descriptions of films and showtimes on Eventbrite.
D.C. WorldPride 2025
The international event WorldPride 2025 is to be held in Washington, D.C. from May 18-June 8. Events include a Choral Festival from May 23-June 8; a WorldPride Film Festival from May 27-29; the Capital Cup Sports Festival from May 30-June 4; a Human Rights Conference on June 4-6, as well as marches, concerts, parties, a street festival and more. Visit worldpridedc.org for more information on affiliated events.
The Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington is presenting the International Choral Festival for WorldPride 2025 with daily hour-long pop-up performances from singers from around the world on Friday, May 23 through Sunday, June 8 in venues throughout the city. The festival is free and open to the public, however, premium passes with reserved seating is available at GMCW.org.
The WorldPride Film Festival is scheduled for Tuesday, May 27 through Thursday, May 29 and includes LGBTQ-themed films from across the globe. Screenings are to be held at Alamo Drafthouse Cinema – Cojeaux Cinemas (630 Rhode Island Avenue, N.W. and 1660 Crystal Drive, Arlington, Va.) and Atlas Performing Arts Center – Sprenger Theater (1333 H Street, N.E.). Movie descriptions and showtimes are listed at worldpridedc.org.
Team D.C. is hosting the Capital Cup Sports Festival on Friday, May 30 through Wednesday, June 4 in multiple venues. Athletes from around the world compete in basketball, bocce, cornhole, climbing, swimming, darts, dodgeball, flag football, kickball, golf, pickleball, regatta, roller derby, rugby, soccer, tennis, volleyball and wrestling. The D.C. Front Runners annual Pride Run 5K at Congressional Cemetery on June 1 is included. Find a tentative schedule and registration information at worldpridedc.org.
The Welcome Ceremony + Concert is scheduled for Saturday, May 31 at National’s Park (1500 South Capitol Street, S.E.). Shakira is performing in her Las Mujeres Ya No Lloran World Tour. Tickets run from $108 to $730 and can be purchased through Ticketmaster.
The WorldPride Human Rights Conference is scheduled for Wednesday, June 4 through Friday June 6 at the JW Marriott (1331 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W.). Featured speakers include the Right Reverend Mariann Edgar Budde, Dr. Lady Phyll and Paula Gerber. Early bird registration is available through capitalpride.org for $350, with virtual registration available for $200.
The National Trans Visibility March is holding a Policy and Safety Summit at the Hyatt Regency Crystal City at Reagan National Airport (2799 Richmond Highway, Arlington, Va.) on Thursday, June 5 through Friday, June 6. Find more information on panels and topics at ntvmarch.org.
The Capital Pride Honors are scheduled for Thursday, June 5 from 7-11 p.m. at the National Building Museum (401 F Street, N.W.). The red carpet gala includes live music, food and a formal awards ceremony for trailblazers in the LGBTQ+ community. Tickets are $105.25 and are available through capitalpride.org.
The Pride Celebration Concert with the International Pride Orchestra is scheduled for Thursday, June 5 at 7:30 at Strathmore Music Center (5301 Tuckerman Lane, North Bethesda, Md.). The International Pride Orchestra joins the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington for an evening of music. Tickets run from $35-$100 and can be purchased through strathmore.org.
The World Pride Music Festival: Global Dance Party is scheduled for Friday, June 6 through Saturday, June 7 at RFK Festival Grounds (2500 Independence Avenue, S.E.). The two day festival spans three stages. Attendees must be 18 years of age or older to participate. Performers on Friday include Jennifer Lopez, Gallants, Marina, Paris Hilton, Rita Ora, Tinashe, Betty Who, LP Giobbi, Patrick Mason and Trisha Paytas among others, with a closing set by Zedd. Saturday performers include Troye Sivan, Grimes, Kim Petras, Purple Disco Machine, Ray, Sofi Tukker, Anabel Englund, Coco & Breezy, Crush Club, Aluna, Sasha Colby and a DJ set by RuPaul.
The WorldPride 17th Street Block Party is scheduled for Friday, June 6 from 5-10 p.m. and Saturday, June 7 from noon until 10 p.m. along 17th Street, N.W. in the Dupont Circle neighborhood. There will be a beverage garden and LGBTQ+ entertainment.
The Washington Blade is hosting the sixth annual Pride on the Pier Boat Parade & Fireworks Show at The Wharf (101 District Square, S.W.) on Friday, June 6 from 3-10 p.m. and Saturday, June 7 from noon until 10 p.m. The event is free, though VIP tickets are available for purchase on Eventbrite for $30. The boat parade is schedule for 7 p.m. on June 6, and the fireworks show is scheduled for 9 p.m. on June 7. More information is available at prideonthepierdc.com.
The Full Bloom: Friday Main Event is scheduled for Friday, June 6 at 9 p.m. at 1235 W Street, N.E. Tickets are $100 and available at capitalpride.org.
LUSH: The DC Lesbian Nightclub Experience is scheduled for June 6 at 10 p.m. at 618 DC (618 H Street, N.W.). Advance tickets are $15 at ra.co. The event is 21+ and features an “all-dyke DJ lineup” with Lady Lavender, Flotussin and Jacq Jill.
The WorldPride Parade is scheduled for Saturday, June 7 with the step off at 2 p.m. at 14th Street and T Street, N.W. The parade is slated to move down 14th street to Freedom Plaza and then Pennsylvania Avenue.
The WorldPride Street Festival is scheduled for Saturday, June 7 and Sunday June 8 for noon until 10 p.m. along Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. between 9th and 3rd Streets. There will be food courts, beverage gardens, a Camp Pride Family Area / kids’ zone, community vendors, activities, entertainment and more.
The Post-Parade + Closing Concerts is scheduled for Saturday, June 7 through Sunday, June 8 at the Street Festival and Concert Grounds at 3rd Street and Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. The event is free to the public, though Tier 2 VIP tickets are available (and quickly selling out) at capitalpride.org for $335.01 for the Saturday concert or $575.20 for Saturday and Sunday. Cynthia Erivo, David Archuleta, CeCe Peniston and Kristine W take the stage on Saturday for the post-parade. Doechii, Khalid, Brooke Eden, 2AM Ricky, Parker Matthews and MkX are scheduled to perform in the Sunday Closing Concert.
The Fabric of Freedom Main Saturday Event is scheduled for June 7 at 10 p.m. at 1235 W Street, N.E. KINETIC Presents and the Capital Pride Alliance host the party featuring three stages, over 100,000 square feet of dance floor, and a performance by Pabllo Vittar. Tickets are available for purchase at capitalpride.org and run from $120.92 to $188.80.
Unwraveled: The Official Women’s Party for WorldPride 2025 is scheduled for Saturday, June 7 from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. at The Park at 14th (920 14th Street, N.W.). Tickets run from $63.48 to $105.25 and are available for purchase at capitalpride.org.
The International Rally + March on Washington for Freedom is scheduled for Sunday, June 8 with the rally beginning at 9:30 a.m. and the march kicking off from the Lincoln Memorial (2 Lincoln Memorial Circle, N.W.) at noon. The march will end near the U.S. Capitol Building for the WorldPride DC Street Festival and Closing Concert.
Visit worldpridedc.org/events to see a full list of partner and affiliate events for WorldPride 2025 in Washington, D.C.
Regional Prides
The fourth annual Equality Prince William Pride is to be held on Saturday, May 17 at the Harris Pavilion (9201 Center Street, Manassas, Va.) from noon until 4 p.m. The family-friendly event is held in the historic center of Old Town Manassas.
The second annual Herndon Pride is being held at Arts Herndon (750 Center Street, Herndon, Va.) on Saturday, May 24 from noon until 5 p.m.
Annapolis Pride, one of the larger Pride celebrations in the region, includes both a parade and festival on Saturday, May 31. The parade is scheduled to begin at 11 a.m. at the intersection of Calvert and Bladen Streets and end at Amos Garrett Boulevard off of West Street. The festival is to be held at Maryland Hall (801 Chase Street, Annapolis, Md.) from noon until 5 p.m.
The 2025 Arlington Pride Festival is scheduled for Saturday, May 31 from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. at the Hyatt Regency Crystal City (2799 Richmond Highway, Arlington, Va.). The indoor event is free. A number of other ticketed events ($30-$250) are scheduled for Arlington Pride as well, including a pageant hosted by Shi-Queeta Lee, a drag brunch, speed dating and an afterparty.
The fourth annual Loudoun Pride Festival is scheduled for Saturday, May 31 from noon until 6 p.m. at Ida Lee Park (60 Ida Lee Drive N.W., Leesburg, Va.). The ticketed event ($5) includes musical performances, a magic show, face painting, bounce houses, food vendors, an alcohol pavilion and the return of “Dragstravaganza.”
Page County / Luray Pride is set for Saturday, May 31 from noon until 5 p.m. at River’s Bend Ranch (397 Riverbend Rd., Stanley, Va.). The family-friendly event is free, but horseback riding is available for those who sign up in advance for $60 + tip to trail guide.
The Charles County Department of Health is holding the third annual PrEP for Pride at 4545 Crain Highway in White Plains, Md. from noon until 5 p.m. on Saturday, May 31. The free festival includes a spirited Pride Walk, entertainment and vendors.
Reston Pride is scheduled for Saturday, May 31 from 6-9 p.m. and Sunday, June 1 from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. at Lake Anne Plaza (1609 Washington Plaza N., Reston, Va.). The free events planned for the weekend include the Rising Voices! Community Concert on Saturday and the Pride Festival on Sunday.
The third annual Culpeper Pride Festival is scheduled for Sunday, June 1 from noon until 5 p.m. at the Mountain Run Winery (10753 Mountain Run Lake Road, Culpeper, Va.). The free event includes music, vendors, a 2 p.m. runway contest. An after hours drag show is scheduled for 6-8 p.m., with tickets available for $10.
The City of Rockville Human Rights Commission is hosting the ninth annual Rockville Pride Festival on Sunday, June 1 from 2-5 p.m. at Rockville Town Square (131 Gibbs Street, Rockville, Md.).
The fourth annual Portsmouth Pride Fest is scheduled for Sunday, June 1 from 11 a.m. until 5 p.m. at Portsmouth Festival Park (16 Crawford Circle, Portsmouth, Va.). The family-friendly free event includes entertainment, vendors, community information and a dog park.
Fairfax Pride is scheduled for Saturday, June 7 from 9:30-11:30 a.m. at the Stacy C. Sherwood Center (3740 Blenheim Boulevard, Fairfax, Va.). The Fairfax Pride Launch Event hosted by Fairfax City and George Mason University is set to include children’s activities, crafts, and more.
The 4th annual Mosaic Pride is coming to the Mosaic District (District Avenue, Fairfax, Va.) with drag shows, live music and more on Saturday, June 14 from 3-9 p.m. The day’s events include a 3 p.m. parade, drag story time with Tara Hoot and an aerialist performance.
The 50th annual Baltimore Pride is to be held June 8-15. The full list of scheduled events has not yet been released, but generally includes the Baltimore Pride Parade and the Baltimore Pride Festival. Check back with the Washington Blade for more specific event times as they become available.
The fourth annual Delmarva Pride Festival is scheduled for Saturday, June 14 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at S. Harrison and E. Dover Streets in Easton, Md. The free event includes vendors and entertainment. Other Delmarva Pride events scheduled over the weekend include “A Night in New Orleans” concert and dance on Thursday, June 12 at 7 p.m. at the Garfield Center for the Arts (210 High Street, Chestertown, Md.), as well as a drag show and art event on Friday, a dance (18+) on Saturday and a Pride Brunch on Sunday.
Hampton Roads Pride Weekend is scheduled for June 20-22. Weekend events include a unique boat parade, a Pridefest, a block party and more.
The fifth annual Catonsville Pride is scheduled for Saturday, June 21 from 2-5 p.m. at Catonsville Presbyterian Church (1400 Frederick Road, Catonsville, Md.). The ticketed event ($4-$5) is a charity fundraiser with all net proceeds slated to go to the Journeys Cottage at The Children’s Home (a safe space for trans youth).
The 13th annual Hagerstown Pride is scheduled for Saturday, June 21 from noon until 6 p.m. at Doubs Woods Park (1307 Maryland Avenue, Hagerstown, Md.).
The 12th annual Frederick Pride Festival is scheduled for Saturday, June 28 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Carroll Creek Linear Park (50 Carroll Creek Way, Frederick, Md.). The free event includes a full food truck court, a beverage garden, hundreds of vendors, a car show, musical guests, drag performances, a children’s area and more.
The eighth annual Alexandria Pride Fair is scheduled for Saturday, June 28 from 3-6 p.m. at Alexandria City Hall and Market Square (301 King Street, Alexandria, Va.). The free event includes exhibitors and vendors, a drag story hour, food trucks, live music, health services a mobile art lab, dancing are more.
FXBG PRIDE (Fredericksburg, Va.) is scheduled for Saturday, June 28 with a march set to begin with speeches at 10 a.m. at Riverfront Park (701 Sophia Street, Fredericksburg, Va.) and move through downtown Fredericksburg. Following the march, the FXBG Pride Festival is scheduled from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. at Riverfront Park. An afterparty at Market Square (214 William Street, Fredericksburg, Va.) is scheduled for 6-11 p.m., with 18+ after 9 p.m. All events are free.
The 2025 Salisbury Pride Parade and Festival is scheduled for Saturday, June 28. The parade is planned to begin at 3 p.m. and move along Main Street in downtown Salisbury, Md. The festival is to run from 2-6:30 p.m.
The Montgomery County Pride in the Plaza is scheduled for Sunday, June 29 from noon until 8 p.m. at Veterans Plaza (1 Veterans Place, Silver Spring, Md.).
Cumberland Pride is scheduled for Sunday, June 29 from noon until 4 p.m. at Canal Place (13 Canal Street, Cumberland, Md.). The free event includes entertainment, vendors and more.
Some cities have opted for Pride celebrations later in the year. Pride festivals in Front Royal, Va. and Westminster, Md. are slated for July 26. C’ville Pride Festival (Charlottesville, Va.), Shenandoah Valley Pride (Harrisonburg, Va.) and Virginia Pridefest (Richmond, Va.) are scheduled for September. Staunton Pride (Staunton, Va.), Southwest Virginia Pride (Salem, Va.), Winchester Pride (Winchester, Va.) and HoCo Pride (Columbia, Md.) are scheduled for October.
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Gideon Glick steals the show in Amazon Prime’s ‘Étoile’
Talented actor delivers brilliant turn as quirky ballet choreographer
If you haven’t seen the scene stealing Gideon Glick in Amazon Prime’s “Étoile,” run do not walk to your preferred streaming platform.
The talented actor — known for his work on the Broadway show, “Spring Awakening” and movies like, “Maestro”— is fantastic as Tobias, the quirky ballet choreographer.
“Tobias is a brilliant, complicated man who lives in his own world and sees the world very clearly in his head, but I don’t think other people see it as clearly as he does,” Glick told the Blade. “I don’t know if he’s as good as communicating within his head to others … he doesn’t read people very well, and I think he’s quite blunt, and he has a very hard time if something doesn’t align with what he sees.”
Glick is also one of the writers on the series.
After working with him on their previous hit show, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” co-creators/executive producers Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino hired Glick as a scribe, after he expressed a strong interest in writing.
“The funny thing about Gideon was we started to create this character, this weird, semi on the spectrum, sort of strange choreographer, and we would find ourselves talking about him and then just looking at Gideon,” said Amy Sherman-Palladino at a recent press event.
“And after a while, Gideon’s like ‘why are you looking at me like every five seconds!?’ And we realized we were creating this character, and it was Gideon! In the writer’s room, about halfway through it, we said to him, ‘is it something you might wanna do?’”
Glick had that sense this was going to happen.
“We have a similar sense of humor. And we just got along really well….We were about a month into the writers’ room, and every time they talked about the character, they kept pointing to me,” he noted.
“But I didn’t know it was me. And everybody kept looking around and thought, ‘How strange is this?’ But then when they offered it to me, you know, it was a beautiful synthesis. So we kind of came up with it together, which I feel really, really lucky about.”
Added Daniel Palladino: “Gideon has his own odd, peculiar way, and it’s unmatched with anybody else.”
Glick is thrilled and deeply touched by his relationship with the Palladinos. “It’s been a very remarkable thing for me. I think when you have reverence for people, and when they respect you back and believe in you, you start to believe in yourself. And so, that started to happen to me when I started working with them, and it helped me cultivate my own career and expand on it.”
To have that level of confidence means everything to Glick.
“I think especially being in a gay community, finding people that believe in you and bolster you — you don’t let them go. Ever, ever, ever.”
As an actor who has a disability in his own life, Glick resonates with Tobias’s uniqueness.
“I was born with one ear. My right ear is completely fake. It’s made out of my rib. And hearing impaired on my left side too … I’ve had to embrace the fact that I’m different from a very, very, very early age. I also came out when I was 12. So at that point, it was kind of on the vanguard. I mean people come out all the time now. But back then, that was unique.”
He continued: “I think I’ve learned very early on that what makes you unique is your special power. And I think with Tobias, he thinks very differently than everybody else. And he’s very strident and kind of blunt about it. But he’s a brilliant man. And when it actually gets actualized, you can see the tangible beauty that he’s creating.”
Having come from a musical theater background, Glick was fascinated by the plethora of dance scenes being filmed.
“I grew up doing plays and musicals, and I got to do ‘Maestro’ and learn a little bit about classical music because of that. But this felt like the final great piece of art that I didn’t know about, and I came away knowing a lot. Especially because of the writing component.”
If you have binged all the episodes, you know that Tobias’s relationship with French ballet dancer Gabin (Ivan du Pontavice) slowly deepens into a tender, romantic connection.
“Ivan is an extraordinary actor. He’s very alive. He’s very thoughtful. I think of us as an odd couple. We’re very different characters. Gabin is a very self interested, braggadocio type. Tobias is an introvert, lives in his own world, very blunt. Two people that don’t necessarily consider the other and are not necessarily accountable to other people. And within the relationship, they learn about that, and they learn about empathy, and it’s a really beautiful, beautiful relationship, and the way that it blossoms, and then both characters blossom. It’s been a thrill to be able to perform.”
When Glick is not working, he is hard at work on his new nonprofit, the Blue Roses project.
“It’s a queer play development lab that is based in New Orleans. I co-founded it with one of my dearest friends, James McBride. Our mission is to find unproduced queer playwrights, match them with established directors, and integrate artists from outside of New Orleans with artists inside of New Orleans and tell queer stories in the South. So that’s where I’ve been directing my energy toward and we’re actually just about to launch.”
Especially with this administration, queer people are not being supported in the arts, Glick acknowledged.
“We are hoping to fill that gap in some way and offer help. I think also within the theater community, new play development, people don’t have money anymore, so we would like to create a space right now.”
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Peppermint thrives in the spotlight
In exclusive interview, she talks Netflix show — and the need to resist Trump’s attacks
As an entertainer, there’s not much that Peppermint hasn’t done. She’s a singer, actor, songwriter, reality TV personality, drag queen, podcaster and the list goes on. Most importantly, as an activist she has been an invaluable role model for the trans, queer, and Black communities.
She’s a trailblazer who boasts an impressive list of ‘firsts.’ She is the first out trans contestant to be cast on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” (Season 9). She is the first trans woman to originate a principal musical role for Broadway’s “Head Over Heels.” She was also the first trans woman to compete in the runaway hit series “Traitors,” on Peacock, and she is the ACLU’s first-ever Artist Ambassador for Trans Justice. Her accolades are a true testament of the courage it took for Peppermint to live her authentic self.
We caught up with Peppermint to chat about her activism, taking on bigger roles on screen, our current political and social climate and life beyond the lens. For Peppermint, coming out as trans was not just a moment of strength—it was a necessity.
“It unfolded exactly as I had imagined it in terms of just feeling good and secure about who I am. I was in so much pain and sort of misery and anguish because I wasn’t able to live as free as I wanted to and that I knew that other people do when they just wake up. They get dressed, they walk out the door and they live their lives. Being able to live as your authentic self without fear of being persecuted by other people or by the government is essential to being healthy,” Peppermint tells the Blade in an exclusive interview.
“I was not able to imagine any other life. I remember saying to myself, ‘If I can’t imagine a life where I’m out and free and feeling secure and confident and left alone, then I don’t even want to imagine any kind of a life in the future,’” says Peppermint.
Recently, Peppermint returned for season 2 of Netflix’s comedy “Survival of the Thickest.” She added some spice and kick to the first season in her role as a drag bar owner. This time around, her character moves center stage, as her engagement and wedding become a major plot line in the show. Her expanded role and high-profile trans representation come at just the right time.
“It’s the largest acting role I’ve ever had in a television show, which my acting degree thanks me. It feels right on time, in a day where they’re rolling back trans rights and wanting to reduce DEI and make sure that we are limited from encouraging companies, corporations, industries, and institutions from not only featuring us, but supporting us, or even talking about us, or even referencing us.
“It feels great to have something that we can offer up as resistance. You can try to moralize, but it’s tougher to legislate art. So it feels like this is right on time and I’m just really grateful that they gave me a chance and that they gave my character a chance to tell a greater story.
Peppermint’s expanded role also accompanies a boom in queer representation in Black-powered media. Networks like BET and Starz and producers like Tyler Perry, are now regularly showcasing queer Black folks in main story lines. What does Peppermint think is fueling this increased inclusion?
“Queer folks are not new and queer Black folks are not new and Black folks know that. Every Black person knows at least one person who is queer. We are everywhere. We have not always been at the forefront in a lot of storytelling, that’s true, and that’s the part that’s new. It’s Hollywood taking us from the place where they usually have held us Black, queer folks in the makeup room, or as the prostitute, as an extra—not that there’s anything wrong with sex work or playing a background performer. I’ve played the best of the hookers! But those [roles] are very limiting.
“Hollywood has not historically done and still does not do a very good job of, including the voices of the stories that they make money [on]. And I think they’re realizing [the need] to be inclusive of our stories and our experiences, because for a long time it was just our stories without our actual experiences. It’s also exciting. It’s dramatic. It makes money. And they’re seeing that. So I think they’re just dipping their toes in. I think that they’re going to realize that balance means having us there in the room.”
Peppermint’s activism is tireless. She has raised more than six figures for prominent LGBTQ rights groups, she continues to speak around the nation, appears regularly on major media outlets addressing trans and LGBTQ issues and has been honored by GLAAD, World of Wonder, Out magazine, Variety, Condé Nast and more—all while appearing on screen and onstage in a long list of credits.
Now, under the Trump administration, she doesn’t have time to take a breath.
“I wouldn’t be able to do it if it weren’t second nature for me. Of course, there are ups and downs with being involved with any social issue or conversation and politics. But I am, for now, energized by it. It’s not like I’m energized by like, ‘Ooh, I just love this subject!’ right? It’s like, ‘Oh, we’re still being discriminated against, we gotta go and fight.’
“That’s just what it is. I get energy because I feel like we are quite literally fighting for our lives. I know that is hyperbole in some regards, but they are limiting access to things like housing, healthcare, job security and not having identification. Passport regulations are being put in a blender.”
Peppermint also mentions her thoughts on the unfair mandates to remove trans service members and revoke the rights and resources from the veterans who worked their whole lives to fight for this country.
“When you strip all these things away, it makes it really difficult for people to have a life and I know that that is what they’re doing. When I look around and see that that is what is at stake, I certainly feel like I’m fighting for my life. And that’s energizing.
“The only thing that would be the most rewarding besides waking up in a utopia and suddenly we’re all equal and we’re not discriminating against each other—which probably is not happening this year—is to be able to be involved in a project like this, where we can create that world. It’s also being built by people who are a part of that story in real life and care about it in real life.”
Peppermint is clear on her point that now is the time for all of the letters of the LGBTQ community to come together. Everyone who is trans and queer should be joining the fight against the issues that affect us all.
“Just trust us and understand that our experiences are tied together. That is how and why we are discriminated against in the way[s] that we are. The people who discriminate—just like how they can’t really distinguish between somebody who’s Dominican and somebody who’s African American — you’re Black when you’re getting pulled over. We are discriminated against in much the same way. It’s the same with being trans or queer or gender non-conforming or bi, we all have our own experiences and they should be honored.
“When laws are being created to harm us, we need to band together, because none of y’all asses is gonna be able to stop them from getting rid of marriage equality—which is next. If you roll the tape back to three years ago when somebody was trying to ask me about drag queen bans on readings in school, I was saying they’re coming for trans rights, which comes for bodily autonomy and abortion rights, which comes for gay marriage rights. Those three things will be wiped out.
Peppermint doesn’t take a pause to get fired up and call gay folk out in their obligation to return the favor to the Black trans community.
She shares with us her final thoughts.
“You cis-gender homosexuals need to stand the fuck up and understand that we are standing in front of you. It’s very difficult to understand this and know this, but so many of the rights that we have were hard fought and won by protest and by people fighting very hard for them. And many of those people in every single instance from the suffrage movement, obviously Civil Rights, queer rights, the AIDS and HIV movement—Black queer people have been there the entire time. Trans people have always been a part of that story, including Stonewall. Yes, we are using different terminology. Yes, we have different lenses to view things through, but let me tell you, if you allow us to be sacrificed before you see us go off the side, you will realize that your foot is shackled to our left foot. So, you better stand the fuck up!”
Peppermint for president!
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