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Local LGBTQ chefs share favorite Thanksgiving recipes

Happy holidays from Jamie Leeds, Patrick O’Connell, Mr. Bake and more

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From left, Jamie Leeds, Patrick O’Connell and Mr. Bake (Washington Blade photos by Michael Key and Joey DiGuglielmo)

Delightful dishes and cool cocktails are at least one guaranteed way to bring joy to Thanksgiving when the season may look challenging. This year, we asked prominent local LGBTQ chefs, mixologists, sommeliers, and restaurateurs to offer recipes and suggestions for Thanksgiving. 

Jamie Leeds, Hank’s Oyster Bar

Jamie Leeds (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

This recipe is the ultimate ode to Chesapeake Bay oysters, using both the oyster and its juice (known as the liquor) to season the stuffing. Leeds is a pioneer in the restaurant industry in Washington, D.C., and was also a a former Washington Blade Most Eligible Single.

Chesapeake Oyster Stuffing

(8 servings)

1 pint (approx. 24) Shucked Chesapeake oysters with liquor

1 cup Celery, small dice

1 cup Yellow onion, small dice

1 stick Butter

1 tsp Salt

1/2 tsp Old Bay seasoning

1/8 tsp Tarragon, fresh

1/8 tsp Thyme, fresh

1/2 tsp Lemon juice

4 Cups Bread, day old, 1”cubes

3 Tbsp Parsley, fresh, chopped

2 Each Eggs, beaten with 2 T water

Steps:

Strain oysters, reserving their liquid. Place oysters in a large mixing bowl with the cubed bread. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat the inside of a 2-quart (or slightly larger) baking dish with cooking spray.

In a 10-inch sauté pan, melt the butter and add celery and onions. Cook on medium heat until vegetables are tender, about five minutes. Add salt, thyme, tarragon and Old Bay seasoning, stir to incorporate. Add reserved oyster liquor and cook for 2-3 minutes. Remove from heat and cool to room temperature. Once cool pour over oysters and bread. Mix gently until moistened. 

Gently fold in the eggs, lemon juice and parsley until fully incorporated. Transfer to the baking dish, cover and bake for about 30 minutes, then remove the foil and bake for another 10 to 15 minutes, until top is browned. Can be prepared 1-2 days in advance and kept refrigerated before baking. Tip: If you do not have day-old bread, place cubed bread on a baking sheet and put in a 350 degree oven for about 10-15 minutes until the bread is crusty on the outside. Let cool completely before adding oysters.

Mr. Bake’s Award-Winning Banana Pudding

Kareem “Mr. Bake” Queeman (Photo courtesy of Capital Pride Alliance)

Kareem “Mr. Bake” Queeman is famous for not only his fabulous presence on social media and reality TV, but also his Banana Pudding, which is the perfect addition to your holiday table. In this recipe, the James Beard semifinalist baker and owner of Mr. Bake Sweets shares his award-winning banana pudding recipe that helped Kareem win his first-ever competition as a baker (the first of many!), and showcase it on the “Kelly Clarkson Show” this past Easter. This is Kareem’s variation on a Southern family recipe passed down by his late aunt Janet Wills.

This holiday dessert is a delicious combination of easy to find and affordable grocery store ingredients, and even includes an option to use store-bought pudding mix if you’re in a time crunch (just make sure to save time to put your pudding in the fridge). Just keep in mind that you’ll need to chilled a bowl in advance and a standard mixer to make sure you get that perfect fluffy texture in the pudding. If you’re feeling extra ambitious, you can make a homemade whipped topping or spring for store-bought in a pinch to add as a final topping on your pudding. Serve in bowls or eat it straight out of the bowl (we won’t judge) this pudding is sure to impress all season long.

Technique Tip:

● Make sure you chill your bowl and mixer attachments before whipping your

heavy cream into cream. This helps ensure the heavy cream whips up nice

and high, and won’t take as much time.

● Make sure the bowl isn’t touching the water when placing your custard bowl

over the double boiler. You’re using just the steam to cook, dissolve and

double your custard in volume.

● Temper your eggs into the cream make sure you add about a cup of the hot

into the egg mixture. This helps make sure you don’t cook and scramble eggs.

Swap Option:

● You can use all heavy cream or whole milk for Half and Half. (Half and Half is

equal parts heavy cream and whole milk)

● You can use Cool Whip if you don’t have heavy cream to make whipped cream

(use about 3 to 4 cups of Cool Whip)

Serving Size: Serves 12 to 15 people

Yield: Makes about 5 to 6 cups of custard.

Prep Time: Custard 6-8 minutes for cook and prep, 2 hour- overnight for chilling

3-6 minutes to whip and blend in custard into the sweeten whipped cream

6-10 minutes to assemble

30 min chill time in the fridge once everything is layered

Cook Time: 6-8 minutes

Serve and keep chilled and enjoy.

Hand mixer/stand mixer

Banana Pudding Trifle (From Scratch)

● 8 large egg yolks

● ½ cup granulated sugar

● 6 tablespoons cornstarch

● ½ teaspoon kosher salt

● 3 cups half & half

● 2 tablespoons pure vanilla extract

● 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature

● 14 oz can condensed milk

● 2 cups heavy cream

● 3 tablespoon confectioners sugar

● Vanilla wafer cookies 3 to 5 standard boxes (Nabisco preferred)

● 4-5 large bananas, sliced

● Optional: Whipped cream for topping

Preparation:

1. In a large heatproof bowl, whisk together egg yolks, sugar, cornstarch and

salt until well blended. The mixture will be thick and pale in color. Set aside.

2. In a medium saucepan, heat the half & half to a rolling boil (do not actually

boil). Remove pot from the heat.

3. Whisk 1 cup of the half and half into the egg-yolk mixture. Mix until

combined, then whisk in the rest of the half and half.

4. Set the bowl over a pot of simmering water (make sure the bottom of the

bowl doesn’t touch the water in the pot). Cook and whisk constantly, until the

mixture has thickened, 5 to 7 minutes.

5. Remove the bowl from the heat and whisk in vanilla until combined. Let the

mixture sit and cool, 2 to 3 minutes.

6. Whisk in the butter until it is melted and the pudding is smooth and silky.

7. Place a piece of plastic wrap directly on top of the pudding and let cool to

room temperature, about 30 minutes to an hour.

8. Whisk in the condensed milk and chill for 2 hours or overnight.

9. In the bowl of a standard mixer, use the whisk attachment to whip the heavy

cream on medium speed until it starts to thicken. Add the sugar and beat

until the cream holds stiff peaks. (Whipped cream should stand straight up

and stand in place when you remove your attachments.

10. Add the chilled pudding custard to the sweetened whipped cream, gently

folding it into each other.

11. To assemble the trifle, spoon 1/3 of the pudding into a glass trifle bowl. Top

with sliced bananas then wafer cookies. Repeat this process ending with

custard at the top, then add fresh sliced bananas, crushed wafer cookies and

fresh whipped cream (optional) as décor.

Executive Chef Harley Peet, Bas Rouge

As a longtime resident of the Eastern Shore and an avid waterman, seafood naturally takes center stage in Peet’s dishes. Holidays conjure warmth, and the very essence of comfort food is the pot pie. On the Eastern Shore, where salty air mingles with generations of watermen’s tales, the choice was clear. Sweet, tender lobster and delicate sea scallops elevate this timeless classic, where rustic tradition meets refined flavor and presentation in a dish that captures a sense of place.

Scallop and Lobster Pot Pie on a Scallop Shell

Yield: 4 servings

• 1 sheet puff pastry, cut into quarter-size circles

• 1 each egg

• 1 tablespoon milk

• 5 slices smokey bacon, cut into half-inch pieces

• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter

• 1/2 cup celery, small diced

• 1/2 cup onion, small diced

• 1/2 cup carrots, small diced

• 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

• 1 quart heavy whipping cream, cold

• To taste pepper, freshly ground

• To taste lemon, juiced

• 2 ounces Parmesan cheese, grated

• 1 each lemon, sliced into wedges

• Salt to taste

• 4 each large sea scallops, raw and sliced into quarters [ask for scallop shells]

• 2 each [2.5 lbs.] steamed lobster, diced into half inch pieces

• Parmesan cheese, grated, to taste

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. In a small mixing bowl, beat the egg and add the milk to create an egg wash. Place the quarter-size circles of puff pastry on a baking sheet and brush the puff pastry with the egg wash. Bake in the oven for 12-15 minutes, or until the pastry is puffed and golden brown. Set the puff pastry aside.

Brown the bacon in a heavy-bottom Dutch oven or saucepan, such as Le Creuset or Staub. Once the bacon is browned, remove it from the Dutch oven and set it aside. Do not discard the bacon fat. Add the butter to the bacon fat in the Dutch oven. Add the celery, onion, and carrot to the pot, and sweat out the vegetables until they are translucent and soft. Take the Dutch oven with the vegetables off of the heat and sprinkle the flour over the vegetables to make a roux. Return the Dutch oven with the roux to the stove over medium heat. Add the cold heavy whipping cream and whisk to remove roux balls. Season the mixture with freshly ground pepper, to taste, and a squeeze of lemon juice, to taste, for a bit of acidity. Simmer the mixture until it gets thick. Once the mixture has thickened, remove it from the heat. Fold in the scallops and lobster into the mixture. Grate the Parmesan cheese into the mixture and stir to incorporate all ingredients. Set the mixture aside, and let it cool in the refrigerator. To note – the mixture can be made up to a couple of days in advance and kept in the refrigerator. (Add the seafood after to extend the lifetime of the mixture or use it immediately.)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Arrange the scallop shell on a flat baking tray. If needed, arrange with some salt or oven-safe ware to hold the shells upright, in order to keep them from tipping over and losing the topping mixture [they will not fall or warp]. Scoop a [generous] tablespoon of the cold mixture into a scallop shell and top it with a sprinkling of Parmesan cheese. Bake in the oven until the cheese is bubbling and golden brown, or approximately 6-8 minutes. Top each stuffed scallop shell with a pre-baked puff pastry round. Garnish with lemon wedges and serve.

Chef Patrick O’Connell, Inn at Little Washington

Patrick O’Connell (Washington Blade file photo by Joey DiGuglielmo)

Chef Patrick O’Connell, renowned for his three Michelin stars at The Inn at Little Washington, is excited to share one of his beloved recipes for the holiday season.

For nearly four decades, a shot of this soup was served as the first course on The Inn at Little Washington’s tasting menu during the winter months. This beloved classic from Chef Patrick O’Connell found a new life at Patty O’s Café and has been touted as “The world’s most refined version of bean soup.” Pureeing the beans and adding a touch of cream makes for a delicate soup, but all the hearty flavors remain intact. The best of both worlds, and a perfect beginning for a fall or cold weather dinner.

White Bean Soup with Virginia Country Ham 

Ingredients (serves 8)

• 1/2 pound dried Cannellini or Great Northern Beans

• 5 strips of bacon

• 2 medium onions, coarsely chopped

• 5 leeks, chopped and thoroughly cleaned

• 1 cup chopped celery

• 4 bay leaves

• 4 quarts chicken stock, preferably homemade

• 1 ham bone (optional)

• 2 cups heavy cream

• Salt and cayenne pepper to taste

• Optional garnishes: shaved country ham; fresh cream, whipped; cracked black pepper; minced chives

Directions: 

1. In a medium saucepan, cover the beans with cool water and soak overnight.

2. In an 8 quart stock pot, cook the bacon over medium high heat until browned. Add the onion, leeks, celery, and bay leaves and cook until the vegetables are tender, about 15 minutes.

3. Drain and rinse the beans and add them to the stock pot along with the heated stock and ham bone (if using). Simmer until the beans are very soft, about 1 hour.

4. Remove the ham bone and bay leaves from the soup. Puree the soup in small batches in a blender or food processor and strain.

5. Return the soup to the heat and add the cream. If the soup is too thick, add more stock or cream. Season with salt and cayenne.

6. At Patty O’s Café, we pour the soup tableside over a bed of shaved local Virginia ham, and garnish with fresh cream whipped with cracked black pepper and fresh chives.

Jonathan Dearden, KNEAD Corporate Chef

KNEAD, one of the largest D.C.-based restaurant groups, is owned by gay couple Jason Berry and Michael Reginbogin.

Chef Dearden’s favorite recipe from the Succotash Prime menu that is perfect for Thanksgiving: “Gochujang Brussels Sprouts on our Succotash Prime menu is one of my favorite unique Thanksgiving sides. At the restaurant we fry in the deep fryer. This recipe has been adjusted to use an Air Fryer.”

Air Fried Gochujang Brussels Sprouts

Gochujang Vinaigrette

• 380g gochujang (hot)

• 150g orange juice

• 20g garlic, minced

• 30g ginger, minced

• 20g Fresno chilies, finely chopped

• 100g lime juice

• 100g rice wine vinegar

• 10g salt

• 750g canola or vegetable oil (approx. 1 quart)

In a blender or food processor, combine gochujang, orange juice, garlic, ginger, Fresno chilies, lime juice, rice wine vinegar, and salt. Blend until smooth.

With the blender running, slowly stream in the canola or vegetable oil to emulsify. Adjust seasoning if needed.

For Plate-Up

• 500g Brussels sprouts (about 1 pint)

• 50g gochujang vinaigrette

• 15g garlic chili crunch

• 3g sesame seeds (white and black, mixed)

• 3g scallions, sliced

• Salt and black pepper, to taste

Preheat air fryer to 400°F (200°C).

Toss the Brussels sprouts with a small amount of oil (just enough to lightly coat them) and season with a pinch of salt.

Place the Brussels sprouts in the air fryer basket in a single layer. Cook for 12-15 minutes, shaking the basket halfway through, until the sprouts are golden brown and crispy.

Transfer the air-fried Brussels sprouts to a large bowl. Drizzle with 50g of the gochujang vinaigrette, tossing lightly to coat but keeping them crispy. Season with salt and black pepper as needed.

Plate the Brussels sprouts in a serving bowl and garnish with garlic chili crunch, sesame seeds, and sliced scallions.

Anthony Aligo, Barkada Wine Bar

Aligo Aligo and business partners Nicholas Guglietta and Nathan Fisher, all gay men, founded their cozy wine bar in late 2020. They are offering two recipes this season: mushroom stuffing and a cranberry royale drink.

Mushroom Stuffing

This savory and earthy dish is perfect for Thanksgiving, featuring tender mushrooms, aromatic herbs, and hearty bread. It’s an excellent alternative or complement to traditional stuffing, especially for vegetarians or mushroom lovers. The dish balances rich flavors and comforting textures, making it a great side that pairs well with other Thanksgiving favorites like turkey, gravy, and cranberry sauce. With its umami depth and seasonal ingredients, this stuffing brings warmth and variety to the holiday table.

Mushroom Stuffing

Ingredients

• 12 cups of one-inch dried bread cubes or dried stuffing mix

• 1/2 cup salted butter

• 2 onions

•1 cup celery

•1 clove garlic

•1/2 lb of your favorite mushrooms

• 2 cups chicken or turkey broth

•1/3 cup fresh parsley

• 2 tsp fresh rosemary

Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Add sliced mushrooms, onions, celery and minced garlic. Cook until tender. Pour in chicken/turkey stock. Add minced parsley and rosemary and salt and pepper to your liking. Let simmer for 1-2 minutes.

Add bread cubes to a large bowl. Pour the mixture in a bowl and mix. Stuffing should be moist but not mushy. If not moist enough, add water.

Grease a 2-quart baking dish. Add stuffing. Bake for 40-50 minutes at 375 until stuffing is slightly browned on top.

Cranberry Royale

This drink is a festive and refreshing cocktail, perfect for Thanksgiving celebrations. With a blend of tart cranberry juice, a hint of orange, and a splash of dry Lambrusco, it offers a beautiful balance of flavors and a light, sparkling finish. The cranberry brings a seasonal twist, while the Lambrusco adds effervescence, making it an ideal aperitif to start the holiday. Its bright red hue adds a festive touch to the Thanksgiving table, celebrating the flavors and colors of the season.

• 0.5 oz Vodka

• 0.5 oz Orange Juice

• 1.5 oz Cranberry Juice

• 3.0 oz Lambrusco (dry)

Shake the cranberry, orange, and vodka with ice, and strain into a flute or coupe. Top with Lambrusco and garnish with orange peel.

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D.C. springs back to life with new, returning events

Cherry blossoms, Rehoboth season kickoff, and more on tap

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D.C.’s annual Cherry Blossom Festival kicks off later this month. (Blade file photo by Marvin Bowser)

Longer and warmer days are back meaning: It’s time to get out of the house and enjoy Washington D.C.’s many events. Below are a few to check out this spring.

The National Museum of Women in the Arts will host “Making their Mark: Works from the Shah Garg Collection” until Sunday, July 26. This exhibition illustrates women artists’ vital role in abstraction, considers historical contributions, formal and material breakthroughs and intergenerational relationships among women artists over the last eight decades. For more details, visit. NMWA’s website

Art in the Attic will host a pop-up on Saturday, March 14 at 6 p.m. at 1012 Madison St., Alexandria, Va. There will be a variety of vendors selling products across different modes of art. For more details, visit Eventbrite.

Play Play will host “Indoor Recess – The art of play” on Sunday, March 15 at 2 p.m. This event will embody classic recess energy, including opportunities to build and experience community and connections through games, movement, art stations, and creative freedom. Tickets are $12.51 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

Spark Social will host “Gay Bar Crawl on U Street” on Friday, March 20 at 7:30 p.m. This will be a fun night out in gay D.C. with other gay people, whether you’re visiting D.C., new to the area, or just looking to expand your social circle. Many crawlers have formed lasting friendships and even romantic relationships after just one night out. Tickets are $35.88 and are available on Eventbrite

Creative Suitland Arts Center will host “EFFERVESCENT: House of Swann” on Saturday, May 30 at 7 p.m. This will be a gay, good time where we will celebrate love, joy, wellness, and visibility for the LGBTQIA+ community. Tickets start at $17.85 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

SWAG Works DC will host “Unapologetically Her” on Saturday, March 14 at 2 p.m. at 701 E St., S.E. This event is a powerful celebration of womanhood, resilience, creativity, and self-expression in honor of Women’s History Month. This all-women exhibition highlights the diverse voices, stories, and artistic perspectives of women who create boldly, live authentically, and stand confidently in their truth. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

9:30 Club will host “Gimme Gimme Disco: A Dance Party Inspired by ABBA” on Saturday, March 14 at 6 p.m. There will also be a “Donna Summer Power Hour – The Queen of Disco” segment during this event. It’ll be one hour of music with no skips. Tickets are available on 9:30 Club’s website

Harder Better Faster Stronger will host “Heated Rivalry Rave” on Friday, March 20 at 9 p.m. at Howard Theatre. This event is open to all ages. Tickets are available on the theater’s website

CAMP Rehoboth hosts its 25th annual Women’s+ FEST, April 9-12 in Rehoboth Beach, Del. Entertainers include headliner Mina Hartong, a comedian, storyteller, and founder of Lez Out Loud; and singer Yoli Mayor. There are dances, dinners, pickleball, and much more. Details and tickets at camprehoboth.org.

Also in Rehoboth Beach, the Washington Blade’s 19th annual Summer Kickoff Party is set for Friday, May 15 featuring Ashley Biden, who will accept an award on behalf of her brother Beau. State Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall will also speak. More speakers and the venue to be announced soon.

The annual D.C. Cherry Blossom Festival kicks off March 21 at DAR Constitution Hall and culminates with Petalpalooza on April 4, the day-long, outdoor street party with music and art, stretching across Navy Yard, and ending with fireworks over the Anacostia River. 

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‘Queer Eye’ star Dorriene Diggs on life before and after appearing on hit show

Emotional January episode highlighted 40-year love affair with partner

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D.C. residents Dorriene Diggs and sister Jo starred in an emotional episode of ‘Queer Eye’ earlier this year. (Screen capture via IMDB)

Dorriene Diggs, 70, whose 40-year relationship with her domestic partner, Diane until Diane’s passing in 2020, the couple’s tense relationship with their respective parents, and Dorriene’s current living arrangement with her straight sister Jo, were the focus of a final season episode of the popular TV series “Queer Eye.”

In a recent interview with the Washington Blade, Diggs told of how her appearance on the show has impacted her life. She elaborated on the many aspects of her life experiences that she told to the five “Queer Eye” co-hosts who interviewed her and her sister in their D.C. home. 

Although her parents and her partner’s parents, who have since passed away, were not accepting of their relationship, Diggs has said most of her family members at this time reacted positively to her appearance on the show.

“They loved it,” she told the Blade. “Yes, everybody that saw the show called me and said they loved the show, they really enjoyed themselves watching it.”

Through an arrangement with D.C.’s Rainbow History Project, the “Queer Eye” show featuring Diggs and her sister was presented in a special screening on a large video screen at the D.C. History Center in January.

“Dorriene, a 70-year-old Black lesbian living in Washington, D.C., had spent decades building a life with her partner while navigating silence within her own family,” a “Queer Eye” statement announcing the episode on Diggs states. 

“The Fab Five did not arrive to introduce Dorriene to herself, but to help ensure her story was finally heard in full,” the statement says.  

Blade: Can you tell us how your appearance on the “Queer Eye” program came about? How did they find out about you?

Diggs: You know, I still don’t have all the details. I think it was my niece, Missy. And she knows somebody there from “Queer Eye.”

Blade: So, did you first learn about it when someone from “Queer Eye” contacted you?

Diggs: No, the “Queer Eye” guy knocked on my bedroom door and started talking. I was in my bedroom watching television and the next thing I know my door opened up and there was Karamo [Karamo Brown, one of the “Queer Eye” co-hosts] with his big black cowboy hat on, opening the door grinning. … They contacted Jo first. And when they came here, they realized there was a gay woman in the house, too. Because my name was not mentioned at first. After they came here, they learned about me, because when Missy reached out to them, she reached out to them about Jo. But that doesn’t bother me. This was all about Jo in the beginning, and not me. … They started talking to me and Jo. And he said, Dorriene, ‘you’ve done so much for so many people, it’s time for someone to do something for you.’ That’s what they said. He said, ‘this is the day we’re doing it for you.’

And so,  they put me and my sister up in a hotel for a week. They gave us a personal driver to take us anywhere we wanted to go. And then they took us to a bunch of places. We didn’t know why they were doing all of this. We had no idea that they were renovating the house and renovating our bedrooms. We had no  idea.

Blade: What was your reaction when you saw the home renovation?

Diggs: It was amazing. And they bought us all new complete wardrobes – clothes, shoes. But most of the stuff they got me I gave away to a women’s shelter. But it was so nice. Actually, to meet the guys. I’ve been watching the show for 10 years. I have watched it from the beginning. And actually, it brought me and my sister closer – really. We’re closer now than we’ve ever been. She’s my baby sister – not the baby, but next to the baby. She’s the younger one.

Blade: What has been the reaction to your appearance on the show? Do more people now recognize you?

Diggs: Yes, yes. I’m getting phone calls and it’s almost like I’m a celebrity. And I don’t want people to make a fuss over me. All the things I did I did from the heart. I really did. And I don’t want people to think I’m more than I am. I’m just a good Christian woman that believes in giving back.

And I do. God gives me help giving. That’s what I do. And I don’t want anything in return from anyone. You know, because I know what it means to not to have. I know what it means to go to bed hungry, with no food. Going to school with holes in your shoes. I know that. I know that feeling. I’ve been there. And I promised myself as a kid I would never live like this again. And when I got bold enough to leave home, I left home at 14, and I moved in with a drag queen. Damen was his name.

Blade: Did your appearance on the show change your life and your relationship with your sister?

Diggs: Yeah, yeah, it actually did. We are actually closer now than we’ve ever been. Because, like I said, I moved away from home early and I never went back. My parents had a problem with my lifestyle. They really did. My mom looked at me with such hatred. When I was old enough to say goodbye, I never looked back. And to come back around now in the last few years after Diane died, that’s when I came back here.

And at one point I stayed with my nephew Todd and his wife – but he got killed in a car accident. I couldn’t stay at his house anymore. So, then I called Jo and told her I need to get out of here. And without hesitating she came and picked me up and brought me to her home. And I’ve been here ever since.

Blade: Can you tell a little about when it came about and how you met your partner?

Diggs: We lived on 18th Avenue in condos. I just bought one. Hers was above mine. I bought the bottom one. When my brother came over, she was getting out of her car. She was driving a Vega. And I turned to my brother and I said – this is the God’s honest truth – I said Keith, that’s the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Just like that. And he started laughing. He said, girl you’re crazy. I said I know I’m crazy, Keith, but I’m telling you that woman right there is who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

Blade: And when was that?

Diggs: It was 1980 actually. And then I started going to the laundry room to do my laundry. So I started talking to her. She said, ‘I’m not speaking to you.’ Isaid ‘why not?’  She said ‘because you’re nothing but a female gigolo.’ And I said I’m not dating anymore. I’m waiting for you. ‘No, you’re too fast for me.’ I said, ‘well, I’m not giving up.’

And I didn’t give up. So, I was playing an album one day and she knocked on the door and asked what I was playing, I think. I said you liked that. She said yeah. I said OK, I’ll bring it upstairs and we can listen to it together. So, when I went up there to her apartment that day and whenever I went up there, I never left.

Blade: So, your partner’s name was Diane?

Diggs: Yes, Ruth Diane Robinson. But she hated the name Ruth. So, the only people who called her Ruth were at work, the people she worked with. Everybody else called her Diane.

Blade: And how many years were you together?

Diggs: Forty. Forty years together

Blade: And where were you living with her most of the time?

Diggs: We lived in Hagerstown the longest, Hagerstown, Md. And so, if Diane hadn’t died I probably still would have been in our house in Hagerstown.

Blade: Can you tell me a little about what you were doing career wise during those years?

Diggs: I do computers. I used to do computers. And before that I cooked. I love to cook like my mom. And then I wanted to do something else. So, I taught myself computers. I taught myself how to build computers and stuff. So, then I got my own computer business called Ida One Computer Consulting. And so, we helped build computers for people.

Blade: Around when was this, in the 1980a or 1990s?

Diggs:  Yes, in the 1980s. I think I stopped I would say around ’96, when I stopped. Because we both said we were going to retire at 55. And we did. We both retired at 55. And then she started diabetes. Every day I had to give her an injection because she was afraid of needles. She couldn’t give it to herself. So, I had to give her an injection every day One time, I don’t remember when, she had a mild stroke. And I had to take care of her. I’ve always taken care of her. And I don’t regret it. I never regretted it. It’s taking care of the one you love.

Blade: When was it that she passed away?

Diggs: In 2020. I found her on the kitchen floor.

Blade: How did your family and your extended family react to your relationship  with Diane?

Diggs: Well, her family, oh my God, they hated me – her mother the worst. Because I put a stop to them treating her really bad. I told her mother – I said never in my life – my mother raised me well. Never disrespect someone’s mother. I said but this time I’m going to disrespect you because you are going to start treating Diane like you ought to. This is a wonderful woman and you and your son and you it’s always about your son. You never, ever say anything good about your daughter. 

I said it isn’t going to happen again. You’re never going to disrespect her again. I said you take a damn good look at her because you’ll never see her again. I meant that. I grabbed Diane. I said it’s time to go. They don’t care about you.

Blade: Can you tell a little about your family?

Diggs: Yeah, I’m a triplet sister. So, it’s Dorriene, Chorine, and Chrissy — we are the triplets. So, my mom had a set of twins and a set of triplets within nine months. One of the twins died at birth. So, the other twin is Margaret.

Blade: So then how did your family react to you and Jo being on “Queer Eye”?

Diggs: Most of my family really had no problem with it.

Blade: Were  you out to them?

Diggs: Oh yeah. I was never in the closet. I didn’t give a damn what people felt about me, sweetheart. I really didn’t. I didn’t care. Because I was going to be me. And for people who didn’t like it, I wasn’t living for them, I was living for me. I’ve always been out. I had a brother who was also gay, Marvin. God rest his soul, too. But he stayed in the closet. He was in the closet until he was about 55 years old.

But everything I said on the show was the truth – my account. The things that I went through with family … You can’t tell me how I felt. If they try to make mom and dad out as perfect, they weren’t perfect. They were the worst parents. That’s my account of it.  

So yes, everything I said on that interview was the truth. That’s one thing people who know me know – I do not lie.

Blade: What are some of the things you like to do these days?

Diggs: I’m a sports lover. I love sports. So, my baseball season is getting ready to get started. Baseball is my favorite sport. Yes, I love baseball. I like the statistics of it. And watching the guys. I wish they had a women’s professional baseball team, honestly. … I’m a D.C. sports fan. The Wizards, the Nationals, the Mystics, the Caps. … And see, I’m a diehard Redskins fan and I refuse to call them the Commanders. They’re the Redskins. They will always be the Redskins to me. I love my sports teams.

Blade: Can you tell a little about the history of the house where you and Jo now live and where they did the filming of the “Queer Eye” show?

Diggs: Jo had a house on 17th Street, I think it was Northeast because it was over there by H Street, N.E. And I think somebody wanted to buy her house. I don’t know why she moved. So, she found this house. Because she wanted to buy something where she could buy a house straight out. She didn’t want a mortgage on another house.

Blade: What are your thoughts on being on the last season of “Queer Eye?”

Diggs: Yeah, we were the last ones. We took it out with a bang, me and Jo. That was it. 

Blade: Can you say how you and Jo appearing on the show impacted your life?

Diggs: I don’t know. I’m the same person. I’ve been getting calls from people saying I saw you on the show. And friends who I haven’t seen in years have been calling. … So yeah, the show, people I haven’t seen and talked to in years have been calling. I think that’s a good thing.

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35 years after ‘Truth or Dare,’ Slam is still dancing

Salim Gauwloos on Madonna, HIV, and why he almost didn’t audition for Blond Ambition Tour

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Salim Gauwloos continues to work as a dancer and choreographer. Learn more at salimgauwloos.com. (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

Most gay men of a certain age remember “the kiss.”

It was the moment Madonna’s dancers Salim Gauwloos and Gabriel Trupin locked lips in the hit 1991 documentary film “Truth or Dare,” which is celebrating its 35th anniversary this spring.

The kiss was hot, but what made it groundbreaking is that it appeared in a mainstream Hollywood movie that screened in suburban multiplexes across the country. This wasn’t an obscure art house film. The movie, and tour on which it was based, received months of breathless media attention all over the world for bold expressions of female empowerment and queer visibility. Madonna was threatened with arrest in Toronto for simulating masturbation on stage and Pope John Paul II urged Catholics to boycott the show, triggering a media firestorm. 

“Truth or Dare” was billed as a behind-the-scenes documentary of the tour, but it quickly became clear that the real star of the show wasn’t Madonna, but rather her colorful troupe of seven backup dancers, six of whom identified as gay: Kevin Stea, Carlton Wilborn, Luis Xtravaganza CamachoJose Gutierez Xtravaganza, Gauwloos, and Trupin; Oliver Crumes III identifies as straight.

We saw them party and march in the New York City Pride parade. They were unabashedly queer at a dangerous time — before protease inhibitors began to stem the AIDS plague and before most celebrities and politicians embraced the gay community in any real way. Being out in 1991 carried major risks to career and reputation. 

Enter Gauwloos, one of those brave dancers who vogued his way into the hearts of countless gay men entranced by his handsome looks, his stage presence, and dance skills. 

Gauwloos — known then and now as “Slam”— sat down with the Blade to talk Madonna, the lasting impact of “Truth or Dare,” the public disclosure of his HIV status, and plans for a new book on his life. 

His story is fascinating — from growing up in Europe to dancing in New York to landing the gig of a lifetime with Madonna. He performed on that tour while secretly HIV positive and went without medical treatment for 10 years because he was living in the United States as an undocumented immigrant. Not even Madonna knew of his HIV status. Two other dancers on the tour were also HIV positive but no one talked about it. Ironically, Madonna was singing “Express Yourself” and advocating for condom use during her concerts yet backstage three of her dancers were secretly positive.

“A lot of people were dying so I wasn’t going to tell Madonna I had HIV,” said Slam, now 57. “And the others didn’t either. It wasn’t the moment to do it. She used to make speeches about Keith Haring and AIDS and I thought it’s going to be me next.”

Gabriel Trupin died of AIDS in 1995. Slam was diagnosed at age 18 in 1987, a frightening time when a positive test result often meant a death sentence. He booked the “Blond Ambition Tour” at age 21 after moving to New York. His friends encouraged him to audition but Slam resisted because he wasn’t a big Madonna fan.

“It was crazy, everyone wanted that job,” he said, “but I wanted to dance with Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul.” He listened to his friends and shortly after the audition, Slam received a call from Madonna herself inviting him to join the tour.

“We all wanted to be stars but not even Madonna knew how big that tour would become. The way it was choreographed and directed, the stars aligned. … It never looks dated even today.”

Salim Gauwloos dances with Madonna on the ‘Blond Ambition Tour’ in 1990. (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

The world tour kicked off in Japan in April 1990 then moved to the United States and Europe, stirring controversy wherever it went. There was the iconic cone bra; the aforementioned simulated masturbation during “Like a Virgin”; and religious imagery that offended many Catholic groups and the Vatican.

And the controversy didn’t end with the tour. Cameras were rolling throughout the tour for what Slam thought would be a “video memory” for Madonna. But as the tour unfolded, director Alek Keshishian reportedly became more interested in what was happening behind the scenes so plans for mere tour footage were expanded into a full documentary.

“We were young and partying and didn’t really know what was going on,” Slam said. “You live in this celebrity bubble and you sign a paper – I don’t even know what I signed.”

In 1992, Kevin, Oliver, and Gabriel sued Madonna for invasion of privacy and fraud claiming she used some footage without their consent. They claim they were told nothing would be included in the film that they didn’t want to be seen. In one specific incident, Gabriel alleged that he told producers he didn’t want the scene of him kissing Slam to be in the film as he wasn’t fully out.

“Gabriel was forcibly outed,” in the movie, Kevin said in a 2016 interview.

Slam did not join his colleagues in the lawsuit.

“I couldn’t sue because I was illegal but I wasn’t ever going to sue,” Slam said. “I’m not a suing kind of person. But good for them, they fought for it and won. A lot of people don’t have the balls to sue Madonna.” The suit was settled two years later for an undisclosed sum.

“We were all conflicted about the kiss,” he said with a laugh. “The kiss, oh my God, my boyfriend is going to kill me! Belgian stress!”

Beyond worrying about his boyfriend’s reaction, Slam had concerns about the impact of being openly gay on his modeling career.

“In 1990, you couldn’t get high fashion campaigns as an openly gay model,” he said. “I was worried about that. I couldn’t get a campaign because I was gay. My agency told me to say I was straight and it was just a game.”

In 2016, pegged to the 25th anniversary of “Truth or Dare,” the surviving six dancers filmed a documentary about their lives post-Madonna titled “Strike A Pose.” In it, Slam publicly revealed his HIV status for the first time in an emotional scene with his former colleagues.

“I found the strength to tell the world I have HIV,” he recalls. “I was scared but I felt brave. The outcome and messages were beautiful. After I saw ‘Strike A Pose,’ I knew we gave people hope. And not just for gay people.”

He was infected in 1987 but didn’t get treated until 1997. After the tour ended, he said he went into a depression and his agency dropped him. 

“I was partying too much after the tour,” he recalls. “I made a decision to live as an illegal alien.” In 1997, Slam collapsed and was rushed to the hospital with pneumonia. 

“They started treating me and thank God the new HIV drugs were out, the cocktails, it took me a couple months to get better.”

Madonna didn’t participate in “Strike A Pose” and Slam said he hasn’t seen or spoken to her since the end of the tour. He said he had no idea of the impact “Truth or Dare” would have. 

“You look at this movie in 1991 and you don’t think it’s going to be such a big thing and 35 years later it’s still helping people,” he said. “It was helpful for people who felt alone at that time. It was such an important documentary.

“I don’t think younger gay people realize how important Madonna was to gay and queer visibility — she was a big part of it. We showed the world it’s OK to be gay and that was the great message of this movie.”

He noted that, decades later, many of his friends have transgender kids and that queer culture is represented in much of mainstream pop culture.

“It’s amazing how far we’ve come,” he said. “I know we’ll always be marginalized but we have come so far. I’m really proud of our community. The current nightmare will be over and I do believe that things will get better.”

Referencing President Trump’s attacks on the LGBTQ community and crackdown on immigration, Slam described the situation in the U.S. today as “sad.”

“Everything is such a mess,” he said. “Some of these people have lived here 30-40 years and they take you out of your home. I can’t even imagine. It breaks my heart. When I was illegal it was a different story.”

Slam met his husband, Facundo Gabba, who’s from Argentina, in 2000, and he helped him get a legal case together to win citizenship. He filed a case in 2001 and was told there was a 99 percent chance he wouldn’t be permitted to stay in the United States because they weren’t allowing HIV-positive immigrants to remain in the country. But he got his green card anyway in 2005 and became a U.S. citizen in 2012. 

Today, Slam and Gabba live in Brooklyn, though they travel a lot because “I can’t take the cold.” The couple married in Argentina in 2010 and in the U.S. in 2016.

Slam is still dancing and working as a choreographer. He’s teaching at a contemporary dance festival in Vienna in July and even offers online lessons via Salimdans.com.

As a longtime HIV survivor, Slam is dedicated to a healthful lifestyle.

“You have to keep moving; when you move you stay healthy,” he says. “Dance heals everything. I do yoga, I eat healthy and clean as possible. I don’t watch much TV … I try to stay healthy and positive. If I absorb all of the negativity I would be sick.”

Salim Gauwloos (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

In addition to his ongoing work in dance and choreography, Slam is in the early stages of writing a book about his extraordinary life and pioneering career.

“I always knew I had a book inside of me. I want to talk about my HIV status. I know I can inspire more people. I want to tell even more secrets in the book; secrets are a poison so I want to tell everything.” 

Among those secrets, he notes, is a desire to write about his strict Muslim father and the years he spent as an undocumented immigrant in America. 

“Those are the things I want to talk about, the struggles. It’s a love story, hope and resilience. I know it will help people.”

As for his friends from the tour, Slam says he remains in contact with Gabriel’s mother and José Xtravaganza is his best friend. Baltimore’s Center Stage theater is currently developing a new musical about Xtravaganza’s life. And Slam said he occasionally talks to Oliver, though “he still can’t pronounce Sandra Bernhard’s name.”

At the end of our interview, Slam indulged a round a rapid fire questions:

• Favorite song to perform in the “Blond Ambition” tour? “Express Yourself.”

• Aside from Madonna, who was your favorite artist you worked with? Toni Braxton in “Aida” on Broadway. 

• Favorite Madonna song? “Live to Tell”

• Favorite Madonna video? “Bedtime Stories”

• What’s more stressful: performing in a concert or performing on the VMAs? “Both, because we always had to be perfect.”

• Did you go to Madonna’s recent “Celebration” tour? “I didn’t see the show but I saw clips online.”

• What do you remember most about performing “Vogue” at the VMAs? “It was nerve-racking for them to flip those fans.”

• When was the last time you vogued? “I teach classes so a couple weeks ago.”

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