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Parents of gay athletes say sports brought them closer

Two local families on the powerful bond of competition

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Mark and Margie Hofberg say a shared love of sports has brought them closer. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

There is a family bond that occurs between parent and child when sports are a part of their everyday life. Between shuttling their children to practices, leagues, local tournaments and travel tournaments, a dynamic emerges for the parents that forms a way of life.

Sharing sports can foster a relationship that continues well into the child’s adult years. It’s a commonality that revolves around support and spending time together.

What happens when the child comes out as gay and continues to play sports? Does the dynamic change? Is it even still there?

Mark Hofberg grew up in Rockville, Md., and played multiple sports including travel-level basketball, soccer and baseball. He had a gangly phase in high school – growing one foot in a year – that relegated him to running cross country and playing frisbee and basketball recreationally while his body developed.

After coming out in his senior year of high school and growing into his 6’5” frame at the University of Maryland, Hofberg played club frisbee and any intramural sport you can think of from badminton to volleyball. He continued that through graduate school at Maryland.

Since 2012, he has been a part of the LGBT sports community in D.C. playing with the DC Gay Flag Football League, DC Pride Volleyball, Federal Triangles Soccer, DC Sentinels Basketball, Stonewall Kickball and Stonewall Dodgeball. He is in his fifth year of alternating between quarterback and captain for the Washington Generals flag football travel team.

“The LGBT sports community has given me an outlet that I need to play competitive sports,” says Hofberg. “I love it, and along with it I have found my best friends.”

Hofberg, who works in policy writing and research for an environmental nonprofit, says the person who has always been his biggest supporter is his mother, Margie Hofberg. DC Gay Flag Football is his main sport and wanting to share it with her, he asked if she would attend a game.

“She was very cautious at first, asking if I was sure she should come,” Mark Hofberg says. “Football and the league are a huge part of my life and I share everything with her. Why not share my friends?”

Margie Hofberg did indeed start coming to games and is now a regular on the sidelines along with sponsoring one of the teams through her Residential Mortgage Center. As part of her commitment as a sponsor, she runs “How to Buy a House” workshops for the players every season.

“I knew this would happen – she’s friends with more people than I am. She even goes to games when I am not there,” says Mark Hofberg, laughing. “It’s a great way for us to hang out and see each other. My dad, brother and grandfather have also been to games. I love sharing my life with my family.”

Margie Hofberg has been there all along, including coaching his youth soccer team and managing his youth baseball team.

“Whatever sport he was in, I was there supporting him and I loved every minute of it,” says Margie Hofberg. “The one thing I said when he came out to me was ‘I hope you understand you are still having my grandchildren.’”

She decided to become a sponsor of the DC Gay Flag Football League after attending Gay Bowl in Philadelphia in 2014.

“Once I saw what this community was about I wanted to become more involved and I have developed relationships beyond being Mark’s mom,” Margie Hofberg says. “Here is a group of people who are just like him and I am so glad he has an outlet to meet people. I have seen a different side of Mark emerge.”

For the Hofbergs, the sports story continues and it still revolves around support and spending time together. Margie Hofberg’s presence on the sidelines hasn’t gone unnoticed by the other players.

“I hope that seeing how Mark and I interact has helped motivate other players to start a discussion with their own family and friends,” she says. “I am so very proud of all the players in this league.”

Soccer has always been John Whitfield’s main sport and his father was a coach of his youth soccer team. When he moved on to a traveling club team, both his parents remained involved, coming to practices and games.

In his high school years in his hometown of Marysville, Wash., Whitfield played both school and club soccer and he spent two seasons playing soccer at Wartburg College. When he returned to finish his degree at Western Washington University, he continued in club and intramural soccer.

His parents had traveled to Wartburg in Iowa to see him play and the sports dynamic was still there in his collegiate years. Whitfield came out in the spring of his senior year at Western Washington.

“Soccer was always a part to focus on to separate myself from being gay. I used soccer as an excuse not to date,” says John Whitfield. “At my college graduation party, I did it all at once – came out to friends and family. I talked to a lot of people about it that day.”

He landed a job with Microsoft where he consults with the Department of Veterans Affairs, and right out of college they moved him to D.C. where Whitfield joined the Federal Triangles Soccer Club.

“My first team was very social and I stopped being afraid that playing with a gay soccer team was a gay thing,” John Whitfield says. “My two lives were finally merged together.”

Whitfield told his parents about the Federal Triangles and says they were intrigued and pleased that he was playing and meeting people. On their visits to D.C., both Debbie and Don Whitfield have attended their son’s soccer matches.

Whitfield has traveled with his team to the Gay Games and a tournament in New York. In 2016, he traveled with the Federal Triangles to the International Gay and Lesbian Football Association World Championships in Portland.

Sitting in the stands were his parents, his partner Hank, and his sister and her boyfriend. They had driven more than four hours to watch John compete. The final was played in the Portland Timbers Stadium and the Federal Triangles went on to win the world title.

“They have always been there to support me,” says John Whitfield. “Having them there to watch me play in that (MLS) stadium with my team was incredible.”

John Whitfield has two older sisters who also played soccer and their father Don was involved early on, recognizing the value in sports.

“Participating in athletics is a good learning experience for life in general,” says Don Whitfield. “When I was coaching them, it was also a good family experience. It has always been just a joy to watch my kids play.”

John advanced to the premier league at age 11 and the family experiences continued going from state to state for regional tournaments. Watching his son play continued during John’s college years.

Don Whitfield says he didn’t know that there were gay sports communities but that he is glad that they exist.

“I had seen him play in some big stadiums before Portland but it was very fun to watch him there playing at a competitive level. He is such a tough player,” Don Whitfield says. “I also enjoyed hanging out with his team afterwards when we went out for beers.”

The Whitfield family sports story remains strong and despite living on separate coasts, they continue to see each other on a regular basis.

“Before he came out, I could never put my finger on the tension because I didn’t have the tools to figure it out. Our relationship has improved dramatically because the fear is gone,” says Don Whitfield. “John is much more relaxed and my wife and I will always continue to be supportive.”

John Whitfield says his father Don Whitfield is always on the sidelines supporting him. (Photo courtesy the Whitfields)

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Iran, Egypt object to playing in Seattle World Cup ‘Pride Match’

Game to take place on June 26

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(Photo by fifg/Bigstock)

Iran and Egypt have objected to playing in a “Pride Match” that will take place in Seattle during the 2026 World Cup.

The Egyptian Football Association on Tuesday said it told FIFA Secretary General Mattias Grafström in a letter that “it categorically rejects holding any activities related to supporting (homosexuality) during the match between the Egyptian national team and Iran, scheduled to be held in Seattle, USA, on June 26, 2026, in the third round of the group stage of the 2026 World Cup.” Football Federation Islamic Republic of Iran President Mehdi Taj told ISNA, a semi-official Iranian news agency that both his country and Egypt “protested this issue.”

The 2026 World Cup will take place in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The draw took place at the Kennedy Center on Dec. 5.

Iran is among the handful of countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.

The State Department’s 2023 human rights report notes that while Egyptian law “did not explicitly criminalize consensual same-sex sexual activity, authorities regularly arrested and prosecuted LGBTQI+ persons on charges including ‘debauchery,’ prostitution, and ‘violating family values.’” Egyptian authorities “also reportedly prosecuted LGBTQI+ individuals for ‘misuse of social media.’”

“This resulted in de facto criminalization of same-sex conduct and identity,” notes the report.

The 2024 human rights report the State Department released earlier this year did not include LGBTQ-specific references.

Soccer has ‘unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs’

The June 26 match between Iran and Egypt coincides with Seattle Pride. The Washington Post reported the Seattle FIFA World Cup 2026 Local Organizing Committee decided to hold the “Pride Match” before last week’s draw.

“As the Local Organizing Committee, SeattleFWC26’s role is to prepare our city to host the matches and manage the city experience outside of Seattle Stadium,” said SeattleFWC26 Vice President of Communications Hana Tadesse in a statement the committee sent to the Washington Blade on Wednesday. “SeattleFWC26 is moving forward as planned with our community programming outside the stadium during Pride weekend and throughout the tournament, partnering with LGBTQ+ leaders, artists, and business owners to elevate existing Pride celebrations across Washington.”

“Football has a unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs,” added Tadeese. “The Pacific Northwest is home to one of the nation’s largest Iranian-American communities, a thriving Egyptian diaspora, and rich communities representing all nations we’re hosting in Seattle. We’re committed to ensuring all residents and visitors experience the warmth, respect, and dignity that defines our region.”

The 2034 World Cup will take place in Saudi Arabia.

Consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death in the country. The 2022 World Cup took place in neighboring Qatar, despite concerns over the country’s anti-LGBTQ rights record.

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Gay speedskater racing toward a more inclusive future in sports

Conor McDermott-Mostowy says anti-DEI push is driving away corporate sponsors

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Conor McDermott-Mostowy

LOS ANGELES — As the countdown begins to the February Winter Olympic Games in Milan, Pride House LA is shining a spotlight on queer athletes who are breaking boundaries both on and off the field. Among them is Team USA speedskater Conor McDermott-Mostowy – a fierce competitor and proud member of the queer community. With blistering speed on the ice and a steadfast commitment to equity in sports, Conor is doing so much more than winning medals – he’s redefining what it means to represent one’s country while representing one’s community.

McDermott-Mostowy is one step closer to the 2026 Winter Olympics after winning the recent silver and bronze medals at the U.S. Championships in speedskating. He appeared at a Nov. 1 event presented by Out Athlete Fund/Pride House LA in the organization’s efforts to raise funds to support Conor and other out athletes as they pursue their Olympic dreams in Milan 2026 and beyond.The Blade spoke to the star athlete to talk about resilience, representation, and the legacy he hopes to leave one day.

Blade: Huge congrats, Conor! Winning a World Cup gold is no small feat. Do you feel like this win proved something to the world – or more importantly, to yourself?

McDermott-Mostowy: Winning gold with my team last year was definitely a major goal achieved. That said, the event we won isn’t yet an Olympic event. The races that have had the most profound impact on me actually happened two years ago.

The first was the team pursuit in Obihiro, Japan. I’d always been more of an alternate for that event, since it’s typically raced by skaters who compete in both the 1500m and 5000m. But I’d been itching for the opportunity to race it at the World Cup level. I finally got that chance when a teammate had to pull out at the last minute due to a back issue. We led the race through six of eight laps, ultimately finishing third. While it was a little disappointing to fall out of the lead, I was proud to prove that I could contribute meaningfully and help the team medal.

The second race was later that year in Salt Lake City, my home ice. After competing in Japan, I came down with a lung infection that affected my performance at the next few World Cups. Fortunately, I had time to recover before the North American World Cups and World Championships. At the Salt Lake City World Cup, I was balancing competition with completing my undergraduate degree. I didn’t know what to expect, but I ended up finishing fifth in the 1000m—my highest individual finish ever—and posted a time of 1:06.91. That’s a very significant time in speedskating; only three other Americans have gone under 1:07 in that event, all of whom became world champions. That result felt like a turning point, showing me that an Olympic or World Championship medal wasn’t just a dream—it was within reach.

Blade: This PrideHouse LA event is a huge moment. What does that support from the queer community mean to you?

McDermott-Mostowy: It’s incredibly meaningful. Being queer in Olympic sport can be very isolating, both inside and outside the sport. I barely have time to socialize outside of skating, and relocating to Salt Lake City doesn’t exactly help when it comes to queer community. So having that kind of solidarity and support from the wider LGBTQ+ community really means a lot.

Blade: Do you remember the moment you realized skating could take you all the way to the Olympics?

McDermott-Mostowy: There hasn’t been one single moment. It’s been a series of them. Over the years, I’ve had many races that shattered the limits I thought I had and inspired me to reach higher. That Salt Lake City race was one of them. It made me realize I shouldn’t just aim for the Olympics. I should aim for medals.

Another key moment came in 2018 at my last Junior World Cup, when my teammate and I finished 2nd and 3rd in the mass start. That event is similar to short track but held on a long track. It was my first full year focusing on long track after previously dabbling in it, and we had no expectation of medaling. But after we did, I realized I might actually have a future in this discipline—and that I could be competitive on the world stage. It was a pivotal realization, especially as I was trying to decide whether to continue skating or pursue a traditional college experience.

Blade: What initially drew you to speedskating? How did you get into the sport—and what’s kept you motivated?

McDermott-Mostowy: I grew up on skates. I started at age two and became a strong skater early on. But I never had any interest in hockey or figure skating. One winter, I was skating with my family on the C&O Canal in Washington, D.C., when a guy skated past us on these wild-looking speed skates. I was immediately intrigued. My parents found a local club, which happened to be run by three-time Olympian Nathaniel Mills, and I was hooked.

What’s kept me going is simple: I love it. This isn’t a sport you get rich in. I’ve only earned more than $20,000 a year twice in my career, and you can’t use it to pay for college either. The motivation has to come from within—the pursuit of excellence, the dream of going to the Olympics, and pure love for the sport.

Blade: What’s been your toughest race to date, and what did it teach you?

McDermott-Mostowy: That would be the team pursuit in Japan. I wasn’t expecting to race it and had already competed in a full weekend of events before getting the call. Team pursuit is arguably the toughest event in speedskating. Stepping up without being mentally or physically prepared was a challenge, but I did it. It showed me I could push through, even under extreme circumstances.

Blade: You’ve made headlines not just for your speed, but for your openness. What was it like coming out publicly in the world of elite sport?

McDermott-Mostowy: By the time I was publicly identified as gay, I had already been out to anyone who asked. So “coming out” doesn’t feel like the right term. It wasn’t a big declaration. I had the benefit of growing up seeing openly gay athletes and being part of a supportive community. I never felt the need to hide who I was.

Eventually, as I started achieving more on the ice, people began noticing me and the content I posted, and they put two and two together. When I was asked to speak publicly about being an openly gay athlete in speedskating, I didn’t hesitate.

Blade: What have been the biggest challenges in your career – physically, mentally, or otherwise?

McDermott-Mostowy: Honestly, my entire career has been about overcoming challenges. The two biggest obstacles have been illness and finances.

I’ve dealt with asthma, a norovirus that derailed my chances in 2022, and a fatigue condition last season that affected my performance. These setbacks take a toll. Not just physically, but mentally. When you invest everything into your sport, being forced to pause or scale back is a huge emotional hurdle.

Financially, speedskating is a tough path. Even as a consistent top-20 skater in the world, I’ve only broken $20k twice in a year, and we’re paid for just nine months, even though we train year-round. I’ve leaned on friends and family for support many times just to make ends meet.

Blade: Have you ever been told – explicitly or implicitly – that being openly gay could hurt your chances with sponsors or coaches?

McDermott-Mostowy: Never with coaches. In our sport, selections are based on the clock, not someone’s opinion. My coaches have always been great.

But when it comes to sponsorships, especially over the past year, I’ve noticed a shift. As anti-DEI sentiment grows, brands are backing away from anything that could be seen as “controversial.” Being openly gay seems to fall into that category now. Since most of our income comes from sponsorships, that retreat is deeply felt.

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Trans cyclist’s victory sparks outrage in conservative media

Katheryn Phillips is originally from DC

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Katheryn Phillips (Photo courtesy of zwiftinsider.com)

On the heels of UPenn erasing the record of the first openly transgender NCAA Division I All-American swimmer and the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision to tackle bans on trans student-athletes, right wing media is now all hot and bothered about the latest trans woman who won a cycling championship — even though she competed according to the rules.

On Tuesday, 58-year-old Katheryn Phillips finished first in USA Cycling’s Lyons Masters National Championship race for women aged 55-59, with a time of 1:42:10, according to the official results posted by the organization. The record shows her gender as “F” for female.  

One second behind Phillips was Julie Peterson, with a time of 1:42:11 — as were three other cyclists: Mary Beth Grier, Andrea Cherniak-Tyson, and Carolyn Maddox. 

Peterson, 57, was so outraged, she told Fox News she refused to stand on the podium in second place next to Phillips. Her story was swiftly shared by the New York Post (also owned by Fox’s parent company News Corp.), the Daily Mail, Breitbart, and other conservative media. 

Both Peterson and another competitor are accusing USA Cycling of “hiding” that a transgender woman had registered to race. 

“It was hidden from us. Katheryn Phillips, KJ’s name, was not on that list. And I checked it up all the way to the point of closure when we couldn’t register online anymore,” Debbie Milne told Fox.

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have spent thousands of dollars in travel and time off work to come and do a race,” Peterson said. Fox welcomed Milne, 56, who finished seventh on Tuesday, to Fox & Friends Thursday morning. 

(Video courtesy of Fox News)

Peterson told Fox she did complain to USA Cycling officials prior to the race. Both Milne and Peterson referred to Phillips as a male, and with “he/him” pronouns. 

“To be fair to all humans, if we want to say ‘him’ or ‘her,’ he was born a biological male, that is a fact,” Milne said. “And that is the thing that makes it an unfair advantage. Whatever has happened after that is a whole different topic.”

“I said, ‘I don’t want to race against a man,’ and they quickly scolded me and said ‘Oh, you can’t call him a man,’ and I’m like ‘Well, he is a man,’ so I was quickly scolded and corrected that it is a woman and I don’t even know what to say.”

USA Cycling did not respond to the Washington Blade’s emails requesting comment. 

Phillips, who goes by Kate and by “KJ,” is a former rugby player with the D.C. Furies, who stated in the comments of a 2024 article published by Zwift Insider that she was the first out trans athlete in the U.S. to compete under the 2004 International Olympic Committee’s guidelines on trans participation. 

“When USA Rugby told me about the IOC decision in 2004, I raised my hand to be included. I experience nothing but joy when I play, ride, and race,” Phillips said. 

As the Blade has reported, the International Olympic Committee drastically revised those rules in 2021, and in March, Republican lawmakers in D.C. demanded the IOC ban trans female athletes from women’s sporting events altogether. 

The Blade also reached out to Phillips for comment but as of press time we have not received a response. She told Zwift Insider in March 2024 she does not let those who disapprove or spread hate impact her performance or her attitude. 

“I am unaffected by dissent. I love, I share joy, I am me, and I have been my authentic self for decades,” she said. It’s been reported Phillips came out in 1999, and told Zwift Insider she considers herself a lifelong cyclist. 

“I’ve been on a bike for as long as I can remember,” said Phillips. “As kids, my friends and I rode all over town, we were feral kids; no cell phones, no trackers … we just roamed, and nobody got in trouble or hurt bad enough not to ride home … Scrapes/bruises/cuts were not an issue for us. In my teens, I worked for myself as a court/legal messenger, doing all of the work via my bike until I got a car. Raced BMX as a kiddo (when I mowed lawns to cover the race entry fees), I did MTB stuff (non-racing) and Sprint/Olympic Triathlons in my 30’s, and now I’m racing on Zwift, Road/Gravel, and CX in my 50s.”

In the comments section, Phillips made clear she’s not competing to win. 

“I don’t do sports for victory, I do it because like many other women, I am an athlete to my core,” she said. “Unlike some, I am not there to WIN, I am there to do my best with the competitors and teammates I have around me trying to do the same…we are in it for the experience. I rejoice in their wins, and a lot of joy is reflected back to me when I have a good day.”

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