Living
Queery: June Crenshaw
20 questions for the Whitman-Walker Clinic board chair

Coming out wasn’t easy for June Crenshaw. She was out to her friends and some family and had a girlfriend in high school in her native Tulsa, Okla., but being gay in the Midwest at the time wasn’t cool she says.
“It was not a safe and welcoming environment by any stretch of the imagination,” the 48-year-old Shaw resident says. “It was extremely challenging and I lost a lot of family who would no longer associate with me. I also lost friends. It wasn’t easy at all.”
Despite the hostile reception, Crenshaw stayed in Oklahoma for college where she studied business and computer science. But a mid-’80s economic slump pushed her to look elsewhere for jobs after college and it turned out to be a blessing. She came to Washington for work and has stayed ever since. But the hostile reception she got from coming out stung to the point that she lived a straight life for a few years, got married to a man and had a son.
“He knew my preference was women but we got married anyway,” Crenshaw says. “It really was pressure from the Midwest and wanting to fit in and really thinking we could do things differently. Immediately it didn’t work.” Life was easier in Washington and Crenshaw was in a long-term relationship with a woman for 12 years. She discovered Whitman-Walker quickly upon her arrival and got involved. She’s in her second term as board chair and previously was on the community advisory board of the Lesbian Services Program and steering committee for a black lesbian support group.
“It was just one of the first places that provided a very positive women’s safe space to come and talk to like-minded women,” she says. “I got involved immediately.” By day Crenshaw does system upgrades and installation for Coventry Health Care in Bethesda, Md. She’s single and enjoys working out, shopping, dancing and socializing with friends in her spare time.
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I have been out for a very long time and I come out every day — it is a lifelong process. The hardest person to talk to about being a lesbian was my son who was 7 at the time. It impacted his life the most and I was careful about protecting him but also living authentically and openly as a lesbian. It is impossible to raise a child to be honest and proud of whom they are if you can’t do the same thing.
Who’s your gay hero?
This list could go on and on starting with all my colleagues on the board of Whitman-Walker Clinic and Rainbow Response Coalition but specifically strong black local lesbians such as Sheila Alexander-Reid, Carlene Cheatham, Darlene Nipper, Donna Payne and Tamara Dunlap-Elkins and, of course, the late Charlotte Smallwood and Wanda Alston. I also find heroes in up-and-coming leaders such as Amy Loudermilk and LGBTQ allies such as Don Blanchon. My heroes are those people that show up and do the hard work every day no matter the challenges or obstacles and those types of people are all around us.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
I love to dance and Tracks was a great past place for that but my current favorite is Lace. It provides the perfect mix of a great meal, a relaxing place to have a conversation, great dance music and of course beautiful women.
What’s your dream gay wedding?
Being barefoot on the beach at sunset committing my life and my love to the woman of my dreams. And then a great party full of laughter to celebrate afterwards surrounded by all the important people in my life.
What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?
That’s a tricky question because all issues are both gay and non-gay. For example, equality is not a gay issue — it’s a human rights issues. The right to marry, fair and equitable treatment in the workplace, housing, access to health care and education, are human rights issues and are about fairness. …We are a part of the larger community and are impacted by all these things but we are also disproportionally affected by some issues. That said, I am passionate about the lack of service, outreach, education and support to LGBTQ survivors and victims of intimate partner violence.
What historical outcome would you change?
I would change the death of Martin Luther King. The civil rights movement continued without him but we might have made more progress.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
The new popularity with reality television. I can’t seem to look away from the train wreck.
On what do you insist?
Being out in all aspects of my life.
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
Not much. I am pretty passive/aggressive around Facebook. I use it to stay up to date with friends and family without actually having to talk to anybody.
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“You Are Never Too Old to Grow Up”
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Recommend it to all my straight girlfriends who constantly tell me they wish they were lesbian.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
It’s complicated.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
I would like to see the LGBTQ movement leaders create trusted, supportive networks to mentor our smart, young talented future leaders and to provide the crucial leadership to them that is needed. I think we should partner more around issues to increase our opportunity for success. We have all these silo organizations that could use our collective energy and reduce redundancy and duplication of effort. We need to look for ways to increase civic and community engagement and improve diversity among our leaders.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
A pair of Lucchese cowboy boots and of course, my family and close friends.
What gay stereotype annoys you most?
“Lesbian second dates involve a U-Haul.”
What’s your favorite gay movie?
“The Color Purple” — it had a gay scene so it qualifies.
What’s the most overrated social custom?
To arrive late for an event or activity, not just occasionally but as a matter of practice.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
Unconditional love
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That life is so precious, we need to live and be in the moment. And where we are today is not where we will be forever.
Why Washington?
I moved to Washington on Sept. 14, 1985 from Tulsa, Okla. It was a culture shock for me. When I flew into National Airport the first thing I noticed was all the beautiful trees and the second thing I noticed was the diversity. I knew it was the place for me.
Real Estate
No Rose, your interest rate has nothing to do with how many likes you got on Hinge
Many factors help determine rates these days

Picture it, you’re sitting in the lunchroom at work, and your coworker just bought a house. Another coworker bought one a few months ago and you hear that she got a totally different interest rate than the other one did, even though they both bought houses not that far from each other. Homebuyers everywhere have been wondering what interest rates they are going to get, lately. It’s easy to read an article online or see an ad on social media stating specific numbers, but there may be more than meets the eye going into a particular buyer’s interest rate.
What are the factors that can affect the interest rate a buyer eventually “locks in”?
- Property details – certain properties may be in neighborhoods with higher rates of foreclosure, or there may be specific census tracts that allow a buyer to participate in the “Fannie Mae Home Ready” and “Freddie Mac Home Possible” programs, which carry more flexible requirements such as various income limits and lower interest rates, to help people begin homeownership.
- Type of loan / loan amount– a conventional, conforming loan or a jumbo loan can have differing interest rates, as well as FHA loans.
- Credit score – most people are aware that this affects what interest rate is quoted, just like on a credit card. Some lenders will work with you on ways to improve a credit score if the goal is to buy six, nine, or 12 months from now.
- Lock period – do you want to lock in the rate for 30 days? 45? Market volatility can cause the rates to change so it will cost more money to hold onto a particular interest rate.
- Loan to value ratio – one can still buy a home with less than 20% down, but the rate that is quoted may be higher.
- Occupancy type – is this the primary residence or an investment property?
- Points bought or credits taken – A buyer can pay the lender a fee to buy down the interest rate, or the seller can sometimes offer a credit. This has become more popular in recent years.
- Market conditions – keep an eye on the news – as we are all aware, change is the only constant!
Lender Tina del Casale with Atlantic Union Bank says, “With jumbo fixed rates in the low 6’s, and first-time buyer down payment assistance loans such as DC Open Doors, rates are in the mid 7’s. With the added factors of your income, the address you are purchasing and your credit score factoring into the equation, interest rates are different from buyer to buyer these days. So, skip the online tools and make a few calls because that’s the only way to get an accurate quote these days!”
It might feel like an overwhelming amount of information to take on, but remember, there are people that help others take these big steps every day. A trusted lender and Realtor can guide their clients from start to finish when it comes to purchasing a home. And for that, you’ll be saying, “thank you for being a friend!”
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Advice
Stop haranguing your husband about how you think he should behave
Make your point and then move on from the argument

Michael,
My husband is great, but he’s a pushover. It happens at work a lot. For example: His colleague, who came back from maternity leave about four months ago, is always leaving early. And Jeremy is always staying late to finish the jobs that they should be doing together.
But the most galling to me is that he doesn’t speak up for himself in his family. His parents (in my opinion) overtly favor his brother (who is straight) and his brother’s family. I could give a lot of examples. The latest: They’re treating the brother and the family to a cruise.
We’ve been together for 15 years, married for 12, and never get any such treatment.
Jeremy says his brother is strapped for cash (four kids, one income) and the family needs a break, whereas Jeremy doesn’t need his parents to pay for his (or our) vacation. I don’t really want to go on a cruise but it’s the principle of the thing.
Again, this is just one example. I feel bad for Jeremy being walked on, over and over, and I want him to start standing up for himself. Despite my repeated entreaties, he won’t.
When I push him on this, he tells me I’m not seeing the whole picture, or he sees it differently, or it’s not a big deal, or he’s fine with things as they are.
I can’t see how he could be fine with being taken advantage of, or not being appreciated. I think he’d have a much better life if he actually set some boundaries with people.
How do I persuade Jeremy to listen to me and be more assertive?
Michael replies:
Do you see the irony in complaining that you can’t get your husband to listen to you about being more assertive and setting a boundary?
You’ve made your point to Jeremy, repeatedly, and Jeremy is telling you to back off. In other words, he’s assertively setting a boundary with you.
You can’t get someone else to behave in the way you want, even when you’re certain that your way is best. Jeremy gets to decide how he wants to conduct himself.
Here’s a pattern I have noticed over and over again through my years of working with couples: When you try to do something for someone that is their own job to do, both you and the person you are trying to “help” wind up being resentful. You get annoyed that the other person won’t listen to your wonderful advice, and the other person gets annoyed because they don’t want someone else telling them what to do or how to live their life.
In this case, you’re trying to get Jeremy to stand up for himself more than he does, and he’s not interested in changing how he operates.
A great rule for relationships: You can advocate for what you want, but you have to let go of the result. (And advocate sparingly, or you risk being a nag).
You are continuing to argue the same point to Jeremy, and Jeremy isn’t interested in listening to you. As you asked for my advice, here it is: Cut it out before he gets into the resentment stage, if he’s not already there, as you apparently are.
Also, please consider that your repeatedly criticizing Jeremy’s parents where Jeremy sees no problem could damage not only your relationship with Jeremy, but also his and your relationship with his family.
We get to marry the person we marry. We don’t get to insist that they upgrade to a better (at least in our opinion) version. Trying to do so is not just disrespectful and a waste of time, it poisons the relationship.
So find a way to live with Jeremy as he is, or — if you find his acquiescent nature unbearable — leave. But don’t spend the rest of your marriage, or even another day, haranguing him about how you think he should behave.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].
Real Estate
The best U.S. cities for LGBTQ homebuyers in 2025
Where strong equality scores, vibrant culture, attainable prices converge

Buying a home has always been a landmark of security and self-expression. For LGBTQ+ people, it can also be a powerful act of claiming space in a country where housing equality is still a work in progress. The good news? This year offers more options—and more protections—than ever. A record-breaking 130 U.S. cities now score a perfect 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI), meaning their local laws, services, and political leadership actively protect queer residents, reports.hrc.org. Meanwhile, national housing analysts at Zillow expect only modest price growth this year (about 2.6 percent), giving buyers a little breathing room to shop around.
Below are eight standout markets where strong equality scores, vibrant LGBTQ+ culture, and relatively attainable prices converge. Median sale prices are from March 2025 Zillow data.
1. Minneapolis–St. Paul, MN
Median sale price: $317,500
Twin Cities residents benefit from statewide nondiscrimination laws that explicitly cover sexual orientation and gender identity, a thriving queer arts scene, and dozens of neighborhood Pride celebrations beyond the mega-festival each June. Buyers also appreciate Minnesota’s down-payment assistance programs for first-time and BIPOC purchasers—many LGBTQ+ households qualify.
2. Philadelphia
Median sale price: $227,667
Philly combines East Coast culture with Mid-Atlantic affordability. “Gayborhood” anchors like Giovanni’s Room bookstore mingle with new LGBTQ-owned cafés in Fishtown and South Philly. Pennsylvania added statewide housing protections in 2024, closing the legal gaps that once worried trans and nonbinary buyers.
3. Pittsburgh
Median sale price: $221,667
Don’t let the steel-town stereotype fool you—Pittsburgh’s MEI score is 100, and its real-estate dollar stretches further than in comparable metros. Lawrenceville and Bloomfield have become hubs for queer-owned eateries and co-working spaces, while regional employers in tech and healthcare boast top Corporate Equality Index ratings.
4. Tucson, Ariz.
Median sale price: $328,333
This desert city punches above its weight in LGBTQ+ visibility thanks to the University of Arizona, a nationally ranked Pride parade, and some of the country’s most picturesque outdoor recreation. Arizona’s statewide fair-housing statute now explicitly lists gender identity, giving buyers added recourse if discrimination occurs.
5. Madison, Wisc.
Median sale price: $413,867
Madison blends progressive politics with a top-five public university and a booming tech corridor. Local lenders routinely promote inclusive marketing, and Dane County offers one of the few county-level LGBTQ+ home-ownership programs in the nation, providing up to $10,000 in forgivable assistance for low-to-moderate-income couples.
6. Atlanta
Median sale price: $359,967
The cultural capital of the Southeast delivers queer nightlife, Fortune 500 jobs, and a web of supportive nonprofits such as Lost-n-Found Youth. While Georgia lacks statewide protections, Atlanta’s 100-point MEI score covers public accommodations, contracting, and employer requirements—shielding homebuyers who choose in-town neighborhoods like Midtown or East Point.
7. St. Petersburg, Fla.
Median sale price: $354,667 Yes, Florida’s statewide politics are turbulent, but St. Pete has long held firm on LGBTQ+ equality. The city’s Pride festival draws nearly a million visitors, and local ordinances bar discrimination in housing and public services. Waterfront bungalows in Kenwood and more affordable condos near Uptown give first-time buyers options.
8. Denver
Median sale price: $563,500
Colorado passed some of the nation’s strongest gender identity housing protections in 2024, and Denver’s queer community remains one of the most visible in the Mountain West. Although prices run higher, buyers gain exceptional job growth and one of the country’s largest Gay & Lesbian Chambers of Commerce.
Smart Strategies for LGBTQ+ Buyers & Sellers
1. Build Your Dream Team Early
- Work with an equality-focused real-estate pro. The easiest way is to start at GayRealEstate.com, which has screened gay, lesbian, and allied agents in every U.S. market for more than 30 years.
- Choose inclusive lenders and inspectors. Ask whether each vendor follows HUD’s 2021 guidance interpreting the Fair Housing Act to cover sexual orientation and gender identity.
2. Know Your Rights—And Limitations
- Federal law bars housing bias, but enforcement can lag. Document everything and report issues to HUD, your state civil-rights agency, or Lambda Legal.
- In states without full protections, rely on city ordinances (check the MEI) and add explicit nondiscrimination language to your purchase contract.
3. Evaluate Neighborhood Fit
- Use local data: crime stats, school ratings, transit, and MEI scores of nearby suburbs.
- Spend time in queer-owned cafés, bars, and community centers to gauge true inclusivity.
4. For Sellers: Market With Pride—And Professionalism
- Highlight proximity to LGBTQ+ resources (community centers, Pride festivals) in your listing remarks.
- Stage neutrally but inclusively—rainbow art is great, but removing personal photos can protect privacy during showings.
The landscape for LGBTQ+ homeowners is evolving fast. By coupling inclusive laws, supportive culture, and attainable prices, cities like Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Tucson stand out for 2025. No matter where you land, surround yourself with professionals who value every part of your identity. Start your journey at GayRealEstate.com, lean on the resources above, and claim your corner of the American dream—on your own terms, and with pride.
Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.
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