Living
Queery: Dave Perruzza
The JR.’s mainstay answers 20 gay questions

It was a kind of love at first sight between Dave Perruzza and JR.’s, the bar he’s been at for nearly 14 years. The 35-year-old gay Mahopac, N.Y., native had finished a four-year Navy tour of duty that landed him in Pearl Harbor and San Diego through the mid-’90s. But a friend from Hawaii, another Dave, had moved here and Perruzza would visit en route to see his family.
“I just kinda fell in love with JR.’s,” Perruzza says. “I’m not just saying this to be cliche but I love the bar, I love coming here and used to hang out here all the time.”
He started as a coat check the night he moved to D.C. Within a year he was in management. Now he oversees JR.’s, Cobalt, Level One and another JR.’s in Denver for his friend, owner Eric Little.
“I just like the bar business,” he says. “I thought I would go to the Pentagon and I could have gotten a job there very easily because of the Navy, but I just realized I like this so much more. I could never sit at a desk. It would drive me insane.”
One of JR.’s signature events is Tuesday ā the annual “High Heel Race,” a Tuesday-before-Halloween 17th Street tradition. Perruzza, though, is in the midst of handing it over to Dupont Circle Main Streets, a historic preservation neighborhood entity of which he’s president. He says that group is better equipped to manage the race.
Perruzza calls himself “pathetically single.” His first week at JR.’s he had a stalker so he’s made it a policy not to hook up with or date people he meets there.
He calls his personal life “so boring it’s ridiculous.” He likes video games and has a tight-knit circle of friends he goes boating and on trips with. His idea of down time is staying home and relaxing with peace and quiet, a habit he attributes to his bar work life. He lives in the 16th Street Heights with his three dogs ā Lucy, Romeo and Lola Mae ā and a cat dubbed “the Miche.” (Blade photo by Michael Key)
How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Since I was 18. My sister told on me so it was easy after that.
Who’s your gay hero?
Eric Little. He’s caring and sorta like my gay dad.
What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?
JR.’s of course.
What’s your dream gay wedding?
Just me and my man and our immediate families.
What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?
Breast cancer
What historical outcome would you change?
The way the AIDS epidemic was handled. I have lost to many friends to it.
What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
I would have to say when Michael Jackson died. I was him for halloween one year so it hit me.Ā I mean I grew up with him.
On what do you insist?
Honesty
What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
It was a video post of the Howard Stern Show with guys with the smallest penises. It was disturbing yet hilarious.
If your life were a book, what would the title be?
“For Christmas My Mom Got Me a Sewing Machine and My Dad Got Me a Power Drill.”Ā It’s a long title but that’s what it would be.
If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Nothing. I’m happy the way I am.
What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
Ghosts. I swear one lives in my house or at least my dog is staring at something in the middle of the night.
What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Don’t go all in and take it step by step. If you throw it in peoples’ face so quickly they are more likely to reject it but if you ease into something then they aren’t so shocked or surprised by it.
What would you walk across hot coals for?
It’s corny as hell but love.
What gay stereotype annoys you most?
That we are all nelly queens.Ā Damn you Jack from “Will & Grace.”
What’s your favorite gay movie?
“Torch Song Trilogy,” then “Mambo Italiano,” then “Latter Days.” I just love gay movies.
What’s the most overrated social custom?
Can’t think of one.
What trophy or prize do you most covet?
My Navy Achievement medal.
What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That there were more people like me (who were gay).
Why Washington?
Close enough to my family but far enough away. It’s also an amazing city.

Looking to roll into something new? With all the buzz about 25% tariffs, itās the perfect time to grab a new ride before prices soarāespecially for electric vehicles, which may soon wave goodbye to those oh-so-attractive federal tax credits. Whether you are an eco-conscious commuter or just need a chariot for weekend getaways, these three green machines offer some serious swagger.
FORD MUSTANG MACH-E PREMIUM
$42,000
Range: 250-300 miles (depending on battery pack)
0 to 60 mph: 5.2 seconds
Cargo space: 29.7 cu. ft.
PROS: Zippy. Sporty feel. Ample battery range.
CONS: Bit bumpy over potholes. Limited seat adjustments.
IN A NUTSHELL: With sleek curves and a design thatās hotter than a drag queenās heels on the runway, the Ford Mustang Mach-E blends both power and flair. The exterior colors are vibrant and unapologetically bold, just like the rainbow after a storm. Three trim levels, but opt for the spiffy Premium versionāwhich was what I drove and is a nice step up from the $37,000 base model. It also costs a lot less than the gutsy GT, which tops $55,000.
Inside, the Mach-E is like driving a chic lounge on wheels. Toggling through the 15.5-inch touchscreen feels like navigating through the latest TikTok trends. A panoramic glass roof and faux-leather upholstery come standard, but assorted add-onsāstandard features with the Premium trimāinclude hands-free power liftgate, multicolor ambient lighting and 10-speaker Bang & Olufsen stereo. Thereās also plenty of space for all the essentials: totes, coats and besties.
And letās not forget about battery rangeāthereās enough juice here to take you through a whole day of driving without needing a recharge. With Fordās fast-charging network, itās easy to be powered up quicker than you can say, āRide āem, cowboy!ā Well, almost.
How popular is this EV, which looks more like a hot hatchback than an SUV? Last year, sales spiked 27% and outsold the iconic gas-powered Mustang. So yes, the Mach-E Premium isnāt just any vehicleāitās an experience thatās, well, electric.
KIA SPORTAGE PHEV X-LINE PRESTIGE
$44,000
MPGe: 84 city/highway combined
0 to 60 mph: 7.1 seconds
Cargo space: 39.6 cu. ft.
PROS: Comfy. Comely cabin. Oodles of passenger room.
CONS: Clunky dual-use dashboard controls. Bit noisy interior.
IN A NUTSHELL: Next up: the 2025 Kia Sportage PHEV X-Line Prestige, a compact plug-in hybrid that combines style, strength and versatility into one dazzling package. If the Mach-E Premium is a glam EV star, I found the Sportage PHEV to be an SUV showstopper.
Under the hood, power comes from an electric motor and gas-powered backup, so you get the best of both worldsāwhether cruising on green energy or unleashing your inner diva. The all-electric range is almost 35 miles, and all-wheel drive is standardāwhich helps keep things steady, no matter the weather.
Inside, itās pure comfort. While there are two hybrid trim levels, even the base-modelāthe X-Lineāis fairly loaded: LED headlights/taillights, dual-zone automatic climate control, remote start, power liftgate, nav system, wireless charging pad, smartphone integration and more.
For my weeklong test vehicle, I was spoiled with the X-Line Prestige, which is full of a ridiculous number of amenities and safety gear. Letās just say the clever cabin design would make the folks at Ferrari blush. Oh, and thanks to the pristine acoustics from the Harmon Kardon audio, I could have sworn the cast of āHamiltonā was right there with me belting out each tune. āBlow Us All Away,ā indeed.
MERCEDES AMG C 63 S E
$87,000
MPGe: 40 city/highway combined
0 to 60 mph: 3.3 seconds
Cargo space: 11.6 cu. ft.
PROS: Snazzy. Lightning fast. Haute handling.
CONS: Pricey. Quirky steering-wheel controls.
IN A NUTSHELL: Jonesing for an exciting, eco-friendly sedan? Then look no further than the Mercedes AMG C 63 S E plug-in hybrid, which gets the adrenaline pumping each time you slip behind the wheel.
Under the hood, thereās a staggering 671 horsepowerāenough to leave competitors in the dust and make them more than a little jealous. This AMG-tuned Mercedesāthe quickest C-Class everāblasts from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.3 seconds, faster than your heart rate when seeing your next crush at a circuit party. And thatās not even the best partāthe shapely contours of this sportster are as chiseled as Luke Evansā check bones.
Inside, the cockpit is like a designer outfit made for a fab night outāhigh-quality material everywhere, as well as branded sport seats with top-tier upholstery and stitching. One downside: the steering-wheel controls, which look tasteful but can be a tad too touch-sensitive at times.
Still, this elegant ride exudes more than enough bells and whistles to maintain a constant state of euphoria.

For LGBTQ couples, homeownership represents more than just a financial investment ā it is a statement of stability, security, and equality. However, navigating the home-buying process can present unique legal and financial challenges. Whether you are buying your first home together or upgrading to your dream house, understanding your rights, responsibilities, and potential pitfalls is essential.
Hereās what LGBTQ couples need to know when purchasing a home in 2025.
Legal Considerations: How Should You Hold Title?
One of the most crucial decisions LGBTQ+ couples face when buying a home is how to hold title, as this impacts legal rights, inheritance, and financial obligations. Here are the three main options:
- Joint Tenancy with Right of Survivorship ā Both partners own the property equally, and if one passes away, the other automatically inherits full ownership.
- Tenants in Common ā Each partner owns a percentage of the property (e.g., 50/50 or 70/30). If one partner dies, their share goes to their estate, instead of automatically transferring to the surviving partner.
- Sole Ownership ā If only one person is on the title, they hold full legal ownership. This may be beneficial for credit or financing reasons, but it leaves the non-owner partner vulnerable.
LGBTQ+ couples should have a conversation with their gay real estate agent, and/or consult a real estate attorney to determine the best ownership structure based on their relationship and long-term goals.
Financing: Getting Approved for a Mortgage
While same-sex marriage is legally recognized in the U.S., LGBTQ+ couples still experience higher rates of mortgage denials than their heterosexual counterparts. Hereās how to strengthen your loan application:
- Check Your Credit Scores ā Both applicants should review their credit reports and address any discrepancies before applying.
- Compare Lenders ā Some mortgage lenders are more LGBTQ+-friendly than others. Ask for a referral from your LGBTQ+ real estate professional.
- Consider a Joint or Individual Application ā If one partner has significantly better credit or a higher income, it might be beneficial to apply individually for a more favorable interest rate.
Work with an LGBTQ+-friendly lender who understands your financial needs and ensures fair treatment.
Protecting Your Property and Rights
Even if you are legally married, it may be wise to put additional protections in place to avoid potential legal or financial disputes down the road:
- Co-Ownership Agreement ā If you are not married or want to clarify ownership percentages, a co-ownership agreement outlines each personās rights and responsibilities.
- Estate Planning ā LGBTQ+ couples should have a will or trust to specify what happens to the property in the event of death. Even with joint tenancy, a will can clarify intentions and prevent family disputes.
- Power of Attorney ā In case of emergency, granting each other power of attorney ensures that one partner can make legal or financial decisions on behalf of the other.
Estate planning is not just for the wealthy – having legal documents in place protects your home and loved ones.
Finding an LGBTQ+-Friendly Real Estate Agent
Working with a real estate professional who understands the needs of LGBTQ+ homebuyers can make the process much smoother. Hereās how to find the right agent:
- Look for Experience ā Seek agents who specialize in working with LGBTQ+ clients and have knowledge of local housing protections.
- Avoid Discrimination ā While the Fair Housing Act prohibits discrimination based on sex (interpreted to include sexual orientation and gender identity), biases still exist. Choose an agent who prioritizes inclusivity and fairness.
- Use LGBTQ+ Real Estate Networks ā The best way to find a trusted LGBTQ+-friendly real estate agent is through GayRealEstate.com, the Nationās Oldest and Largest Free Database of LGBTQ+ Real Estate Agents Worldwide. Since its founding, GayRealEstate.com has helped thousands of LGBTQ+ buyers and sellers connect with agents who are not only professional and experienced, but also 100% committed to equality and inclusivity.
Using an agent from GayRealEstate.com ensures that you are working with someone who values fairness, understands LGBTQ+ housing concerns, and is dedicated to finding you the perfect home in a welcoming community.
Choosing an LGBTQ+-Friendly Neighborhood
Finding a home is about more than just the property itself – it is about the community. Consider these factors when searching for the perfect neighborhood:
- LGBTQ+ Inclusivity ā Look for cities with nondiscrimination laws, pride events, and visible LGBTQ+ communities.
- Safety ā Research crime rates and local laws to ensure your new neighborhood is a safe and welcoming environment.
- Community Support ā Some cities have LGBTQ+ resource centers, social groups, and advocacy organizations that make settling in easier.
Tools like the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index rank cities based on LGBTQ+ inclusivity and protections.
Homeownership is an Empowering Step
Buying a home as an LGBTQ+ couple is a milestone worth celebrating. While challenges still exist, being informed and proactive can help you avoid pitfalls, protect your rights, and make smart financial decisions. By working with LGBTQ+-friendly professionals, understanding your legal options, and securing financial protections, you will set yourself up for long-term success and stability.
Whether you are buying your first home or upgrading to your forever house, the key is to be prepared, protected, and empowered throughout the process.
Jeff Hammerberg and Scott Helms are with GayRealEstate.com, the nationās leading online platform connecting LGBTQ homebuyers and sellers with LGBTQ-friendly real estate agents, ensuring a safe and supportive experience. To find an agent or learn more, visitĀ GayRealEstate.comĀ or call 1-888-420-MOVE.

Hi Michael,
Iām in a relationship I think I donāt want to be in.
Ed is very sweet and thatās part of the problem. He is always solicitous of me, caring, kind, agreeable. I donāt want to hurt his feelings, which I certainly would do if I dump him.
Weāve gotten into what is now a serious relationship because of him, not me. He kept asking me out on one date after another, and I kept saying yes. He proposed being exclusive, and I said yes.
I was lonely, Edās cute and a nice guy, and it felt good to be cared about.
Ed is great at planning a fun life. Dinners, vacations, socializing. My life is way more exciting than it used to be. Ed takes the initiative on everything and heās very good at it.
But I feel smothered, like I donāt have a say in how I live and what I do. We spend all our time together. And my friends are now āourā friends because he always joins me when I get together with them.
I canāt talk about this with him because I don’t think he can handle it. If he sees the least sign of me being upset, he says, āWhatās wrong? Are you mad at me?ā with this vulnerable tone in his voice. Heās told me heās afraid of losing me when Iāve shown any unhappiness.
Iām no longer attracted to him. I donāt know why, heās as cute as ever.
Sometimes I wonder whatās wrong with me. I have a good-looking, caring boyfriend. So many guys want this. I should be happy. But Iām not.
On the other hand, Iām afraid that if I break up with Ed I will be lonely all over again and maybe never find such a caring person.
Any guidance you have would be appreciated in how to think about this and sort it out.
Michael replies:
This relationship is giving you all sorts of opportunities to become a more solid person.
First point to consider: If you canāt set boundaries, you will spend your life twisting yourself into a pretzel to accommodate others. Thatās what is happening now with Ed.
When we are struggling to succeed at an important life skill, as you are here, itās helpful to think how our personal history may be contributing to our being stuck.
Some possibilities for you to consider: What example did your parents model? Perhaps they had trouble setting boundaries in their relationships, so you didnāt learn how to do so. Or perhaps when you were growing up, you didnāt have much say about what you could or couldnāt do, so you didnāt learn you could speak up about what is important to you.
Iām painting with a broad brush here, just to inspire your own thinking. While our lives arenāt rigidly determined by our pasts, the ways that we learned to relate as we grew up do have a powerful influence on how we live in the present. Having some sense of what has shaped our operating system can help us loosen up and try new ways of behaving.
Second (and related) point: You cannot go through life without ever disappointing anyone or you will (as noted above) start to resemble a pretzel. Yes, youāll likely upset Ed when you tell him that youāre unhappy in the relationship. But if Ed is going to address his clingy and needy behavior, he needs to hear this.
At their best, relationships challenge us to grow. This relationship is pushing you to tolerate disappointing someone you care about, in the service of saying what you need to say. And guess what? Your letting Ed know where you stand will challenge him to work on his own relational wobbliness. Very cool.
Third point: Why are you not stepping forward with your own ideas about what you want to do and how you want to live? You are letting Ed do all the work. What is up with that?
One obvious explanation: Your difficulty setting a boundary is stopping you from asserting what you want. In other words, your inability to say ānoā is leading you to feel stifled in this relationship. Good news: you have the power to change this.
Another possibility: Maybe you donāt actually have much in the way of interests or ideas for what you would like to do, and Ed is merely filling the void so that the two of you have some kind of life together.
If so, I encourage you to start thinking about what is meaningful to you. Developing a selfāfiguring out what is important to you, what you care aboutāis one of the great tasks and great joys of being alive. If you just keep doing what others around you wantāboyfriends, friends, familyāyou may keep feeling resentful and will squander your life.
I donāt know if you would actually enjoy being with Ed if you do the work to become a solid person who speaks up about what is important and brings his own agenda to the relationship. While itās your decision to do so or not, I urge you not to decide based on fear of stepping outside your comfort zone.
And please consider that this work would help you in any future relationship, if you end things with Ed.
One more point: Itās no surprise that youāve lost interest in having sex with Ed. Being enmeshed with someone as tightly as you describe your fusion with Ed is a desire-killer. Perhaps this would change if you give yourself some room to breathe.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online atĀ michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it toĀ [email protected].
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