Local

Anniversary for marriage

One year after the first same-sex couples wed in D.C., all eyes are on Maryland

Published

15 years ago

March 10, 2011

Candy Holmes (left) and Darlene Garner on their wedding day last March. (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

As the battle over marriage equality in Maryland reaches its endgame, the sparks it throws are reflected in the lives of real people, including a married couple wed just next door in Washington on the first day the D.C. same-sex marriage law went into effect in March of 2010.

Residents of Bowie, Md., one of the three couples wed with fanfare at the Human Rights Campaign headquarters on March 9, 2010 — Candy Holmes and Darlene Garner — looked back this week at the struggles to win equality in D.C. and the continuing efforts in Maryland.

“In retrospect, it’s been a mixed year,” Holmes says. “Because it was a great year to be married in D.C. in my hometown and Darlene’s adopted city, really it was a year of a piece of heaven, once we got through the murky waters that it might be taken away by the courts. It was the realization of something long desired by us, to be married, and legally acknowledged so, to the love of my life.”

“But when we come back to where we live, in Maryland, where our marriage is not recognized, the struggle goes on because we were free to be married in D.C., but we are not free to be married in Maryland — yet.”

Holmes and Garner — who dated on and off for 14 years before getting married — are both ordained ministers in the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), a liberal, mostly gay Christian denomination — and now they are determined to see the blessings afforded to them by marriage become theirs by right also where they live.

“We have so much enjoyed the last 12 months as a married couple,” Garner says. “We have been completely embraced by our extended and blended families — children, grandchildren, even great-grandchildren, cousins — and I will be eternally grateful to the D.C. government elected officials, and also remain hopeful that the elected officials in my home state will follow the example set in our national capital.”

When Garner and Holmes boast of their blended, extended family, they are not talking idly. Garner is the mother of four, grandmother of seven and great-grandmother of three, the eldest of whom is now 3 years old.

Holmes considers Garner’s offspring hers too.

The giddiness and hoopla from a year ago now long since subsided, how do they assess what marriage equality means to them today? Once they were married, “there’s been a big difference at work,” says Holmes, who has worked as a manager in the federal government’s GAO (now called the Government Accountability office) for 34 years. “It shows up in how people greet me and treat me, the respect and regard from others.”

Statistics from D.C. Superior Court’s Marriage Bureau show a surge of weddings in the District, more than double the number from the prior year, March 2009-March 2010.

Those numbers — 6,604 marriages in D.C. from March 3, 2010, when the same-gender right to marry, enacted in December 2009, went into effect, through March 2, 2011 — vaulted over the number from the prior year, when only 3,101 couples applied for marriage licenses in D.C.

The city doesn’t track how many straight couples there were versus same-sex couples, but the court attributes the spike to the change in the marriage law.

Speaking last week at an event held to celebrate enactment of the new law, Mayor Vincent Gray said he “was thrilled to hear this,” adding that the new law “has been so smoothly implemented,” even though he acknowledged that he has lost some friends due to his own outspoken support for the measure when he served on City Council until being elected mayor in November. But he said that was a price he willingly has paid for doing what he called “the right thing.”

As for the possibility that the new Republican majority in the U.S. House of Representatives might still seek to roll back the new law, the mayor said he was aware it could happen, but “I haven’t heard anything yet” about it.

And so the dust in D.C. has settled. And in the wake of the new law have come party planners and experts in wedding officiating like Deborah Cummings-Thomas and Sheila Alexander-Reid, both licensed and ordained to perform weddings, lesbians and partners since May of last year in Marry Me in D.C., which helps connect people wanting to marry in D.C. with what Cummings-Thomas calls “our network of gay and gay-friendly service providers who celebrate, not just tolerate them on their wedding day.”

On March 19, Marry Me in D.C. hosts a “Marriage Equality Wedding Expo,” from noon to 4 p.m. at the Washington Court Hotel, 525 New Jersey Avenue NW, on Capitol Hill. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Advance registration is encouraged at marrymeindc.com.

Robin McGehee (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Marriage not a happy ending for all

With the legalization of same-sex marriage comes, inevitably, gay divorce.

Robin McGehee has felt its sting. The 37-year-old California resident and lesbian who decided to wed in June 2008, says she decided to un-wed a year and a month later, in July 2009. She and her partner took their vows under California’s same-sex marriage law prior to its being overturned by the state’s voters in November 2008 ballot when Proposition 8 passed. Their marriage remained valid however under a grandfather clause.

But it fell victim nevertheless, in an ironic way, says McGehee, since it was the fight against its passage that brought her into the fray to oppose Prop 8.

After getting iced out of volunteer work at her son’s Catholic school, she became a gay activist and helped organize the National Equality March, held in Washington in October 2009. As a newly mobilized activist, she says, she was “on the road almost every weekend for months at a time.”

And that activism led her away, she acknowledges, from placing a focus needed at home, to repair the fraying ties that bound her with her spouse, a woman 19 years her senior, with whom she had joined in 2001 in a domestic partnership contract under California law. They had been a couple for 11 years at the time of their wedding.

She says she “met someone on the road, someone I connected with emotionally.” Basically, she admits, “I fell for someone else.” They have now been together for a year and a half, and they face, McGehee says, “the same challenges,” because now she is also working a second job, as executive director of GetEqual, a group that focuses on using non-violent civil disobedience to advance LGBT rights.

As for her former spouse, they remain in constructive discussions over dual issues, caught up still in legal proceedings over the terms of ending both their marriage and their earlier domestic partnership. Closure should come, she expects, “any time now.”

Related Topics:Candy Holmes D.C.Darlene Garner gay gay divorce gay marriage lesbian LGBT marriage Robin McGehee

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District of Columbia

SMYAL receives $25,000 award for ‘courageous acts’

D.C. group provides support services for LGBTQ youth

Published

4 days ago

July 2, 2026

Lou Chibbaro Jr.

SMYAL CEO Erin Whelan (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The D.C.-based organization SMYAL, which provides services for LGBTQ youth in the D.C. metro area, including housing for homeless LGBTQ youth, announced on June 30 that it received a $25,000 award for its “courageous acts” in support of the community it serves.

The award was a monetary grant from The Courage Project, which describes itself as a “national initiative investing in acts of courage and compassion that strengthens our communities and democracy.”

A statement on its website says it was launched in May 2025 and is funded and backed by leading national foundations in the U.S.

“At SMYAL, we are deeply grateful to receive support from The Courage Project and are inspired by their bold investment in LGBTQ+ youth at such a critical moment,” SMYAL CEO Erin Whelan said in a statement. “For queer and trans young people, simply showing up as themselves each day requires immense courage, and that courage is strengthened when organizations like The Courage Project stand behind them loudly, proudly, and without hesitation,” Whelan said.

In its statement announcing the award SMYAL says The Courage Project will recognize SMYAL and other awardees and their work on July 3 at the Washington National Cathedral as part of a special interfaith service marking the U.S. 250^th anniversary.

“The Courage Project is a bold initiative honoring everyday acts of bravery – the quiet, often unseen acts of heroism that reflect the best of the American spirit and strengthen democracy at the community level,” the project states on its website.

Delaware

Delaware approves amendment protecting same-sex marriage

Measure must pass second vote in next year’s session

Published

5 days ago

July 1, 2026

Thomas Weaverling

Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall introduced the amendment bill earlier this week. (Washington Blade file photo by Daniel Truitt)

The Delaware General Assembly passed Senate Substitute 2 for Senate Bill 100 on the last day of the legislative session on Tuesday after being rescinded last week.

Senate Substitute 2 for Senate Bill 100 (SB-100) passed with 28 ‘yes’ votes, meeting the two-thirds threshold required for the bill to pass. Tuesday was the last day of the 153rd General Assembly.

The amendment would enshrine the right to same-sex and interracial marriage in the Delaware Constitution.

SB-100 was rescinded last week after it did not receive enough votes to pass. Democrats were short by three votes, with two Democratic members missing from the vote.

Rep. Josue Ortega (D-03) voted ‘no’ on SB-100 and Rep. Medinah Anton-Wilson (D-27) did not vote. However, both members voted ‘yes’ for Senate Substitute 2 for SB-100 on Tuesday.

Prime sponsor of SB 100, Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall (D-14), made the technical decision to change her vote last week from a ‘yes’ to a ‘no’ at the last minute to keep the bill alive.

Additionally, Republican Assemblyman Michael Smith (R-22) joined the Democrats with a ‘yes’ vote after voting ‘no’ on SB-100 last week.

In order for SB 100 to be enshrined into the state Constitution, it must be passed by two consecutive General Assemblies. Thus, the amendment will not be officially added to the Constitution unless it passes in the 154th General Assembly next year.

Rep. Snyder-Hall introduced the measure earlier this week.

“Just one week ago, we failed to pass this legislation. We failed the people of Delaware. But today, on the final day of the legislative session, the 153rd General Assembly affirmed that every Delawarean has the fundamental right to marry the person they love, regardless of race or gender,” said Snyder-Hall.

“Thank you to my colleagues for recognizing that the right to marry is a right worthy of protection and for voting yes on this important constitutional amendment.”

District of Columbia

Longtime Blade staffer Stephen Rutgers steps down after 14 years

Plans to focus on running Crush Dance Bar, other ventures

Published

6 days ago

June 30, 2026

Staff reports

Stephen Rutgers (left) with Blade Editor Kevin Naff at Pride on the Pier in 2025.

Longtime Washington Blade employee Stephen Rutgers announced he is stepping down after 14 years to focus on other ventures, including his part ownership of the popular Crush Dance Bar.

Rutgers was hired by the Blade in 2012 to help plan Pride festivities and over the years was promoted to director of sales and marketing. In addition to his broad set of responsibilities, Rutgers planned the annual Pride on the Pier celebration at the Wharf, which has exploded in popularity over the seven years since its launch.

“Watching Pride on the Pier grow from a new community event into one of D.C.’s signature Pride celebrations has been incredibly rewarding,” Rutgers said. “Expanding Pride on the Pier into a two-day festival for WorldPride in 2025 was definitely a career highlight. Seeing thousands of people come together to celebrate our community while supporting the Blade’s mission is something I’ll always be proud of.”

A scene from *Pride on the Pier and Fireworks Show during WorldPride 2025. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)*

Rutgers described his biggest challenge as navigating the changing media landscape.

“More than ever, we’ve had to remind our community that local journalism matters and that it needs their support,” he said.

He added that he’s most proud of helping to ensure the Washington Blade is positioned to thrive for the next 50 years.

“I was fortunate to be part of the Blade during its 50th anniversary — a milestone that reflects its incredible history and impact,” Rutgers said. “The Blade has been an important voice for the LGBTQ community for more than five decades, and knowing I played a small part in helping its future is most important to me.”

Blade Publisher Brian Pitts praised Rutgers for juggling multiple responsibilities.

“We wish Stephen all the best,” Pitts said. “For the past 14 years, Stephen has been a vital part of the Blade, handling many things — marketing and advertising, sponsorships, and Blade signature events. We will all miss him.”

Blade Editor Kevin Naff thanked Rutgers for his years of service to the community.

“After 14 years, it’s hard to imagine the Blade without Stephen and his boundless energy and creativity,” Naff said. “He’s one of the hardest working and most dedicated people I’ve ever known and he will be missed. But change is the only constant and I know Stephen will move on successfully to new challenges and the Blade will expand on Stephen’s important work.”

As for what’s next for Rutgers, he said he plans to focus on Crush as well as his real estate business.

“I’ve always been someone who likes to stay busy,” Rutgers said. “For the past 12 years, I’ve balanced my work at the Blade and in real estate. Two years ago when I opened Crush, I never realized just how much time and energy it would take. The passing of my father earlier this year also gave me a new perspective. It reminded me that life is short and that it’s important to make time for the people and experiences that matter most. Stepping away from the Blade will allow me to focus on those ventures while also creating more balance in my life. After 14 incredible years, it feels like the right time for a new chapter.”

Naff said that for now Rutgers’s responsibilities will be divided between existing staff along with several new freelance contractors.

“The Washington Blade plays a unique role in our community’s fight for equality,” Rutgers said. “It’s the only LGBTQ news organization with White House credentials, giving it direct access to the people and institutions shaping policies that affect our community. The Blade continues to hold elected officials accountable, report on the issues that matter most to LGBTQ people, and tell the stories that often go uncovered by mainstream media.

“The Blade has been my family for most of my adult life. For 14 years, it has been part of my daily routine, so it’s going to feel very strange waking up and not logging on each morning.”