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Gay couple’s $100,000 wedding

Locals say contest payoff was worth loss of privacy

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Carl Cox and Darin Henderson, a local couple, won a $100,000 wedding contest and were married earlier this month in Washington. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Local couple Carl Cox and Darin Henderson know what it’s like to come out in a big way — as do the other contestants of the nation’s first same-sex wedding contest.

The competition, a bid by local vendors to commemorate marriage equality in D.C., promoted the diverse stories of gay couples all over the U.S. hoping to wed.

The winners, Cox and Henderson, earned thousands of online votes last summer and cemented their union on March 4 with the top prize — a $100,000 all-inclusive wedding. The men, who married at Metropolitan Community Church, were honored to have their relationship legally recognized.

Nevertheless, the contest challenged them in ways they’d never imagined.

“[Carl and Darin] had to be out in their lives, out with their friends, out with everybody in a way that they’ve never been before,” says Michael Kress, a local photographer who headed the Freedom2Wed contest.

“When we first decided to get married, we didn’t even know what that was going to feel like, what it was going to look like,” Cox says. “Nothing about this was private. We had to let the world know what we were doing and why we were doing it. And yeah, it was about winning, but it was also about getting … our personal story out, about love surmounting all odds.”

Cox and Henderson weren’t the only pair whose relationship was placed under a microscope, however. Six couples competed for the final prize and runners up Tonya Agnew and Amy Crampton confronted a challenge of a different kind. Parents to two boys, Jesse and Leo, the women had to broadcast their relationship and family across the Midwest town of Lafayette, Ind. When they learned they were finalists, they were somewhat apprehensive.

“I had a tendency to think of all the reasons why we shouldn’t go through with this,” Crampton says. “It was scary to put my family out there.”

But it’s family that ultimately inspired the couple to continue on. “Once you’ve become a parent, there’s really not a choice whether or not you can hide,” Crampton says. “I have to be out, I have to portray how proud I am and I can’t worry about anyone else’s comfort level. Raising two boys, I know how important it is to model behavior for them.”

To the couple’s amazement, the entire town rallied behind them and they drew in support from family, friends, colleagues and the public.

Although they didn’t win, the journey brought them closer as a couple and as a family. They’ve since shared their story as keynote speakers at several local events and they plan to continue to be vocal about marriage in their home state of Indiana.

“The experience has been very affirming and liberating,” Agnew says. “It has empowered us as a couple and I really feel like it changed us in a very positive way.”

Agnew is also thankful for the close bond the contest created between the finalists. She and her partner attended their friends’ wedding, along with fellow runners up Kareem Murphy and DeWayne Davis.

Murphy and Davis, longtime Maryland residents, spoke highly of the contest-inspired opportunity to make their relationship public. “The contest was a wonderful experience for us … we got the chance to tell our story to thousands of people,” Murphy says.

For Cox and Henderson, the wedding was simply the culmination of a long journey of self-discovery.

“To have so many people standing in your corner, saying what you’re doing is wonderful … standing up for you … I can’t tell you how much it means,” Henderson says.

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Virginia

Gay Va. State Sen. Ebbin resigns for role in Spanberger administration

Veteran lawmaker will step down in February

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Virginia State Sen. Adam Ebbin will step down effective Feb. 18. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael K. Lavers)

Alexandria Democrat Adam Ebbin, who has served as an openly gay member of the Virginia Legislature since 2004, announced on Jan. 7 that he is resigning from his seat in the State Senate to take a job in the administration of Gov.-Elect Abigail Spanberger.

Since 2012, Ebbin has been a member of the Virginia Senate for the 39th District representing parts of Alexandria, Arlington, and Fairfax counties. He served in the Virginia House of Delegates representing Alexandria from 2004 to 2012, becoming the state’s first out gay lawmaker.

His announcement says he submitted his resignation from his Senate position effective Feb. 18 to join the Spanberger administration as a senior adviser at the Virginia Cannabis Control Authority.

“I’m grateful to have the benefit of Senator Ebbin’s policy expertise continuing to serve the people of Virginia, and I look forward to working with him to prioritize public safety and public health,” Spanberger said in Ebbin’s announcement statement.

She was referring to the lead role Ebbin has played in the Virginia Legislature’s approval in 2020 of legislation decriminalizing marijuana and the subsequent approval in 2021of a bill legalizing recreational use and possession of marijuana for adults 21 years of age and older. But the Virginia Legislature has yet to pass legislation facilitating the retail sale of marijuana for recreational use and limits sales to purchases at licensed medical marijuana dispensaries.   

“I share Governor-elect Spanberger’s goal that adults 21 and over who choose to use cannabis, and those who use it for medical treatment, have access to a well-tested, accurately labeled product, free from contamination,” Ebbin said in his statement. “2026 is the year we will move cannabis sales off the street corner and behind the age-verified counter,” he said.   

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Maryland

Steny Hoyer, the longest-serving House Democrat, to retire from Congress

Md. congressman served for years in party leadership

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At 86, Steny Hoyer is the latest in a generation of senior-most leaders stepping aside, making way for a new era of lawmakers eager to take on governing. (Photo by KT Kanazawich for the Baltimore Banner)

By ASSOCIATED PRESS and LISA MASCARO | Rep. Steny Hoyer of Maryland, the longest-serving Democrat in Congress and once a rival to become House speaker, will announce Thursday he is set to retire at the end of his term.

Hoyer, who served for years in party leadership and helped steer Democrats through some of their most significant legislative victories, is set to deliver a House floor speech about his decision, according to a person familiar with the situation and granted anonymity to discuss it.

“Tune in,” Hoyer said on social media. He confirmed his retirement plans in an interview with the Washington Post.

The rest of this article can be found on the Baltimore Banner’s website.

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District of Columbia

Kennedy Center renaming triggers backlash

Artists who cancel shows threatened; calls for funding boycott grow

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Richard Grenell, president of the Kennedy Center, threatened to sue a performer who canceled a holiday show. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Efforts to rename the Kennedy Center to add President Trump’s name to the D.C. arts institution continue to spark backlash.

A new petition from Qommittee , a national network of drag artists and allies led by survivors of hate crimes, calls on Kennedy Center donors to suspend funding to the center until “artistic independence is restored, and to redirect support to banned or censored artists.”

“While Trump won’t back down, the donors who contribute nearly $100 million annually to the Kennedy Center can afford to take a stand,” the petition reads. “Money talks. When donors fund censorship, they don’t just harm one institution – they tell marginalized communities their stories don’t deserve to be told.”

The petition can be found here.

Meanwhile, a decision by several prominent musicians and jazz performers to cancel their shows at the recently renamed Trump-Kennedy Center in D.C. planned for Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve has drawn the ire of the Center’s president, Richard Grenell.

Grenell, a gay supporter of President Donald Trump who served as U.S. ambassador to Germany during Trump’s first term as president, was named Kennedy Center president last year by its board of directors that had been appointed by Trump.    

Last month the board voted to change the official name of the center from the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center For The Performing Arts to the Donald J. Trump And The John F. Kennedy Memorial Center For The Performing Arts. The revised name has been installed on the outside wall of the center’s building but is not official because any name change would require congressional action. 

According to a report by the New York Times, Grenell informed jazz musician Chuck Redd, who cancelled a 2025 Christmas Eve concert that he has hosted at the Kennedy Center for nearly 20 years in response to the name change, that Grenell planned to arrange for the center to file a lawsuit against him for the cancellation.

“Your decision to withdraw at the last moment — explicitly in response to the Center’s recent renaming, which honors President Trump’s extraordinary efforts to save this national treasure — is classic intolerance and very costly to a non-profit arts institution,” the Times quoted Grenell as saying in a letter to Redd.

“This is your official notice that we will seek $1 million in damages from you for this political stunt,” the Times quoted Grenell’s letter as saying.

A spokesperson for the Trump-Kennedy Center did not immediately respond to an inquiry from the Washington Blade asking if the center still planned to file that lawsuit and whether it planned to file suits against some of the other musicians who recently cancelled their performances following the name change. 

In a follow-up story published on Dec. 29, the New York Times reported that a prominent jazz ensemble and a New York dance company had canceled performances scheduled to take place on New Year’s Eve at the Kennedy Center.

The Times reported the jazz ensemble called The Cookers did not give a reason for the cancellation in a statement it released, but its drummer, Billy Hart, told the Times the center’s name change “evidently” played a role in the decision to cancel the performance.

Grenell released a statement on Dec. 29 calling these and other performers who cancelled their shows “far left political activists” who he said had been booked by the Kennedy Center’s previous leadership.

“Boycotting the arts to show you support the arts is a form of derangement syndrome,” the Times quoted him as saying in his statement.

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