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Not so cut and dried

San Francisco-based author writes of gender struggles

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‘Nina Here nor There: My Journey Beyond Gender’
Nick Krieger
Beacon Press
202 pages
$15

Author Nick Krieger. (Photo by Melinda Bagatelos; courtesy of Beacon Press)

You’ve always hated your nose.

It sticks out too much. Or it’s too small. Or your ears make you look like you’re part elephant. Or your lips are too pouty, your thighs too big, your arms too fat, you hate your butt.

You can change all of the above and then some.

But would you have the courage to alter the very things that define you to the rest of society? In the new book “Nina Here nor There” by Nick Krieger, you’ll see why one young man did.

When writer-blogger Nina Krieger landed in San Francisco’s Castro district, she felt welcomed.

Her lesbian friends, the “A-gays,” folded her into their circle with parties. Old pals were glad to see Krieger and she was glad to find an apartment with roommates she could tolerate. She even found a job that allowed her to continue writing.

But Kreiger wasn’t happy. For years, she’d struggled with gender identity: she was not a lesbian, not exactly a woman but yet – she was. Being in The Castro gave her hope, though, and unwittingly, she had surrounded herself with people who could give her guidance.

Greg, with his newly flat chest and eagerness for life, was willing to share his experiences with surgery and testosterone shots. Jess, one of Kreiger’s roommates, was transitioning and taught Kreiger about “packing” and binding. Zippy, a long-time friend, gave optimistic support.

“Before moving to the Castro, I’d thought becoming a man was as realistic as growing wings,” Kreiger writes.

But living “with her community” gave Kreiger the courage to try. Deciding that breasts were the worst part of who she was, Kreiger bought minimizers and purchased the other body parts she lacked. Little by little, she allowed her family careful peeks into the person she knew herself to be. She “convinced” herself that she belonged, yet she was uneasy. What exists between girl and boy?

“I didn’t fully relate to either anymore,” Kreiger writes.

Despite a fear of needles, unfazed by a list of realities and heartbroken by a paternal lack of understanding, Kreiger knew she had to find out.

“Nina Here nor There” is a bit of a conundrum. On one side, author Nick Kreiger takes his readers by the hand, allowing us to see what he sees. As Kreiger explores the gender spectrum, we do too. At the same time he’s seeing the blurred lines of woman and not-woman, we see it as well. The journey is a good one, shared.

Toward the end of the book, one begins to relate to the frustration the author is feeling as we, too, yearn for resolution. Continuing becomes a bit of a struggle as we begin to relate to the push-pull Kreiger feels. Arriving at the denouement comes as a relief. The book is a captivating fresh take on the fluidity of gender to which many LGBTs will relate.

 

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Travel

Traveling by barge through France

Exploring foodie paradise of Lyon

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The Daniele Barge

Blog #1: I was excited about my trip even though Gate 1 Travel notified me there was a change in the itinerary. France decided to close the Burgundy canal for long overdue repairs, so we would be traveling on the C. du Rhone au Rhin. I boarded my Air France flight arriving in Paris on time. Contrary to what I was told to expect, customs went really smoothly.  

Day 1: Because customs went quickly, I waited 45 minutes for my pre-arranged driver, to take me to the Gare de Lyon, where I boarded my fast-train to Lyon. A two-hour trip. In Lyon it was a long walk to the hotel, The Radisson Blu, but only because I exited the station on the wrong side. Finally got there, checked into a room on the 36th floor with a spectacular view of Lyon. Then took a stroll around the area, a short nap, and finally it was time for dinner and to meet the rest of the traveling party. There would only be 13 of us in the group. Five of us from D.C./Rehoboth, and eight others. I met our guide Patricia, who is from Portugal, and spoke fluent French and English. She is charming, and clearly very knowledgeable. She worked with Gate 1 for many years. We stayed at the hotel for our welcome dinner. It was a great meal, and over drinks, each of us was asked to introduce ourselves to the group.  Aside from the five of us, there were three women traveling alone, one gentleman alone, and two couples. They were from New Jersey, New York, Florida, Houston, and Nebraska. I was sitting across from the woman from Nebraska. Conversation at dinner was pleasant but I quickly realized one person was apparently a MAGA. Wonder if you can guess where she was from, lol. But we also found if we didn’t talk politics, which we agreed not to do, things were fine.  After dinner we all headed to our rooms for a good night’s sleep. 

DAY 2: We woke to beautiful weather. I headed to the included breakfast at the hotel, which was really very good. After breakfast we boarded a bus for a tour of Lyon. We had a full-size bus for just the 13 of us. Our guide for the half day tour, was Vincent, and he is charming and young, and told us his fiancé lives in Lyon. He was incredibly knowledgeable. We began at the Basilica, which is being repaired on the outside, but the inside is, wow! Incredible stained glass, and there was a service going on in one of the smaller side chapels which I l listened to for a bit. The Basilica is high on the hill and the views of Lyon are spectacular from there. Then we headed to the old city and walked around for an hour, ending up at the smaller cathedral. Directly in front of it they had set up a great market, mostly food, which would be there for a week. Lyon is a foodie paradise, with, we were told, a restaurant, or at least coffee shop, for every 250 people. We then had a choice of staying in town, or going back to the hotel on the bus, which I did. The afternoon and evening were free time to do as we pleased. I headed to the Les Halles du Lyon Paul Bocuse, named after the famous chef, to take a look around.  It is a large market with small restaurants connected to most of the stalls. It was charming. I then headed to the huge three-story mall across from our hotel and walked around for an hour. Then caught up on some emails, and writing, and met my friends, Paul and Martin, John and Dan, for dinner at 6. We went to a really nice Bistro, which John had found, two tram stops away from the hotel, and enjoyed some drinks and a relaxed dinner. The owner of the place found us a waitress who spoke great English, which made ordering really easy. After a two-hour great meal, we headed back to the hotel. Riding a tram in Lyon is easy, you just need to use your credit card. It is an honor system. Back at the hotel I headed to my room and packed, our luggage had to be outside the door by 8:00 am the next morning.  I set my alarm for 6:30 so I had time to eat at the buffet breakfast. Then it was on the bus to head to our barge.

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Baltimore

This John Waters interview has been edited for readability — but perhaps not human decency

Pope of Trash dishes on Trump, plane etiquette, last meal, and more

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John Waters in 2022. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

By WESLEY CASE | At 80 years old, John Waters is still the ideal dinner guest — incisively sharp, quick-witted and funny as hell.

The chic Baltimore native proved it again and again in a recent Zoom interview, calling from his summer home in Provincetown, Mass.

The occasion was the Blu-ray releases of two of his movies — the 1977 dark comedy “Desperate Living” and his enduring 1988 musical “Hairspray” — on June 23 by the Criterion Collection, which publishes restorations of films it deems culturally important. The Criterion stamp of approval has become the gold standard among cinephiles.

“It’s like getting an award,” said Waters, who wrote and directed both films.

The rest of this article can be read on the Baltimore Banner’s website.

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Photos

PHOTOS: Pride on the Pier

Seventh annual LGBTQ celebration held at The Wharf DC

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The Washington Blade's Pride on the Pier was held on Saturday, June 13. (Washington Blade photo by Landon Shackelford)

The Washington Blade held the seventh annual Pride on the Pier at The Wharf DC on Saturday, June 13.

(Washington Blade photos by Landon Shackelford)

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