Living
Garden like the pros at Merrifield
Free gardening, landscaping and cooking seminars this fall
ADVERTORIAL CONTENT
Merrifield Garden Center offers its fall seminars in three locations: Merrifield Community Hall (next to our Merrifield store), 8104 Lee Highway, Merrifield, Va., 703-560-6222; Fair Oaks Meeting Room (second floor of store), 12101 Lee Highway, Fairfax, Va.; and in our Garden Room in Gainesville, 6895 Wellington Rd., Gainesville Rd., Gainesville, Va., 703-368-1919. For more information visit merrifieldgardencenter.com.
If you’re planning to attend our “Introduction to Cooking with Fresh Herbs” or “Children’s Gardening” seminars, we’d appreciate it if you registered online so we can order the proper amount of supplies. In this schedule, there’s a link to register next to the descriptions of these seminars. Thank you. Seminar schedule follows.
September 17
Merrifield – Trees and Shrubs for Small Gardens, 10 am
Robert Woodman, Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
It doesn’t matter if you have a cozy, townhouse backyard or a high-rise apartment balcony. You can still have a beautiful garden. Robert will show you some gorgeous varieties of trees and shrubs that are perfect for small gardens.
Fair Oaks – Four Season Gardening, 10 am
Lynn Cohen, Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
Make the most of each season. Learn how to design your garden to look beautiful throughout the year.
Gainesville – Build the Lawn of Your Dreams, 10 am
David Yost, Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
Have you always wanted a thick, dark green, lush lawn? If so, there’s good news. Fall is the best time of year to get your lawn in shape. David will provide you with all the know-how you’ll need.
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September 24
Merrifield – Adding Spring Color with Fall Bulbs, 10 am
Larry Shapira, Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center, and Professor Emeritus (Ret.), NVCC
Bulbs are easy, beautiful and fit into any landscape. Fall is the time to plant spring-flowering bulbs and Merrifield offers a wide selection of new varieties and time-honored favorites.
Fair Oaks – Creating Focal Points, 10 am
Joshua Dean, Landscape Designer, Merrifield Garden Center
Plants and hardscapes are essential to the structure of any garden. But focal points give your garden personal character and flair. Don’t miss this opportunity to hear Joshua’s ideas of how to focus interest in your garden.
Gainesville – Introduction to Cooking with Fresh Herbs, 10 am
Lilienne Conklin, Chef, Merrifield Garden Center
Chef Lilienne will show you how to use fresh herbs to bring out the best in your recipes. You’ll be amazed at the difference it can make. Registration is appreciated, but not required at www.merrifieldgardencenter.com/seminars.
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October 1
Merrifield – Introduction to Cooking with Fresh Herbs, 10 am
Lilienne Conklin, Chef, Merrifield Garden Center
Chef Lilienne will show you how to use fresh herbs to bring out the best in your recipes. You’ll be amazed at the difference it can make. Registration is appreciated, but not required at www.merrifieldgardencenter.com/seminars.
Fair Oaks
Fair Oaks – 73rd Annual Potomac Rose Society Rose Show
Saturday, October 1, 1 pm – 6 pm
Sunday, October 2, 12 noon – 4 pm
Gainesville – Houseplants & Bringing Tropicals Back Indoors, 10 am
Regina Lanctot, Tropical Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
Don’t miss this opportunity to learn how to overwinter your favorite tropical plants indoors. Regina will also introduce you to some beautiful houseplants to brighten your home and keep your fingers in the dirt.
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October 8
Merrifield – Fall Magic with Trees and Shrubs, 10 am
Michael Fahey, ISA Certified Arborist, Merrifield Garden Center
Watching leaves change to shades of red, orange and yellow is always exciting! Now there’s no need to hop in your car to see fall foliage. Attend this seminar to learn how to create a gorgeous panorama in your own backyard.
Fair Oaks – Incredible Fall Container Gardens, 10 am
Paul Westervelt, Annual & Perennial Production Manager, Saunders Brothers Nurseries
Container gardens are not just for summer! Learn how to create a dazzling display with fall-peaking perennials and cold-tolerant annuals. Your family and friends will be impressed with the results.
Gainesville – Deer Prevention, 10 am
Renatta Holt, Landscape Designer, and James White, Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
Renatta and James will help you develop an effective strategy to protect your valuable landscape from deer. They’ll discuss various control strategies and deer resistant plants that you can use alone or in combination.
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October 15
Merrifield – Walks, Walls and Patios, 10 am
Renatta Holt, Landscape Designer, Merrifield Garden Center
A well-designed landscape integrates the hardscape elements of walkways, walls and patios with your home and garden for a beautiful and functional result. This class will inspire and educate you with wonderful ideas you can incorporate into your own landscape.
Fair Oaks – Find Your Garden Style, 10 am
Mary Kirk Menefee, Landscape Designer, Merrifield Garden Center
Attend this seminar for an overview of various garden styles – Formal, English Cottage, Modern, Japanese, Southern, Naturalistic, etc. – along with top plants and construction tips to achieve the look.
Gainesville – Spooky Gardens, 10 am
Karen Rexrode, Plant Specialist, and Regina Lanctot, Tropical Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
If you love Halloween, this seminar is for you. Have a great time learning how to decorate your garden with black foliage, unique plants and unusual containers and terrariums. Be ready for accolades from family and friends.
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October 22
Merrifield – Green Walls, 10 am
Wayne Boyland, Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
Evergreens play an important role in the landscape. While offering year-round beauty, they provide privacy, block views and define specific areas. Wayne will introduce you to some of our most beautiful needled and broadleafed evergreens, and discuss their attributes, so you can find the perfect evergreens for your needs.
Fair Oaks – Children’s Gardening (Ages 6-12), 10 am
Laura Hawthorne, Merrifield Garden Center
This session is ideal for parents, grandparents and favorite aunts who want to introduce children to gardening. Each student will bring home a pumpkin that they’ve planted with flowers. (An adult must be present). Registration is appreciated, but not required at www.merrifieldgardencenter.com/seminars.
Gainesville – Extend Your Outdoor Fun with Fire Pits and Fireplaces, 10 am
Mary Kirk Menefee, Landscape Designer, Merrifield Garden Center
Savor the crisp, autumn nights with family and friends over a cozy campfire. Learn how easy it is to stretch your outdoor living and entertaining into another season with fire pits, fire bowls and fireplaces.
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October 29
Merrifield – Creative Landscaping, 10 am
Joshua Dean, Landscape Designer, Merrifield Garden Center
Forget cookie cutter landscaping. Dream big! If you can imagine it, we can build it. Joshua will inspire you with some of his innovative projects that brought his clients’ ideas to life.
Fair Oaks – Pruning Made Easy, 10 am
Larry Shapira, Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center, & Professor Emeritus (Ret.), NVCC
Professor Larry will discuss the basics of pruning, including proper timing and techniques. Bring your pruners and gloves. Seminar will include a hands-on segment outside, weather permitting.
Gainesville – Harvesting Black Gold in Your Garden, 10 am
David Yost, Plant Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
Looking for ways to make your garden more eco-friendly? David will show you how to recycle yard and kitchen waste into a valuable soil conditioner.
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November 19
Fair Oaks – Christmas Floral Designs, 10 am
Merrifield Garden Center Floral Design Team
Decorate your home with the greens, flowers and berries of the holiday season. Learn how to make lasting floral designs with artificial greens and picks.
Gainesville – How To Create A Festive Container Garden, 10 am
Renatta Holt, Landscape Designer, Merrifield Garden Center
Got an empty pot on your front porch or patio? Renatta can help you turn that eyesore into a beautiful display for the holidays with evergreen branches, berries, pine cones and other adornments.
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November 25-26-27
All Three Stores – Holiday Open House
Kick off the holiday season with a visit to Merrifield Garden Center. The fabulous displays and festive atmosphere are sure to warm your heart and bring a smile to your face.
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December 3
Fair Oaks – Incorporating Fresh Flowers with Holiday Greens, 10 am
Peg Bier, Plant and Design Specialist, Merrifield Garden Center
Bring the beauty and fragrance of the holiday season into your home with fresh cut pine, holly, cedar, boxwood, magnolia and other plants. You’re sure to be inspired.
Gainesville – How to Create Your Own Holiday Theme Tree, 10 am
Merrifield Garden Center Design Team
Each year our designers set up a large number of Christmas trees, each with their own theme. These beautiful trees have been attracting large crowds and warming hearts for generations. Now you have a chance to learn how our designers create these displays of art.
Real Estate
Under-the-radar Delaware beach towns smart buyers are targeting
There are other options if Rehoboth prices are scaring you off
Look, we love Rehoboth. We will always love Rehoboth. Queer folks have been flocking there since the 1940s, and with scores of LGBTQ-owned businesses and a Pride calendar packed tighter than the boardwalk in July, “Rehomo” earned its crown fair and square.
But let’s be honest with each other: trying to buy property there right now feels a lot like trying to get a reservation at the one good restaurant in town on a Saturday in August. Everyone wants in, inventory is tighter than your swim trunks after Labor Day brunch, and the prices have officially entered “are you kidding me” territory.
So here’s a thought: What if you didn’t fight the crowd? What if, instead, you let Rehoboth keep doing its glorious, chaotic, glitter-bomb thing and you quietly built your beach life 15 minutes away for considerably less drama and considerably more square footage? Here are four towns ready for their close-up.
Lewes: The Charming Overachiever
Lewes is what happens when a beach town actually has its life together. Historic charm, walkability, proximity to Cape Henlopen State Park, less crowding, and a strong year-round community. Unlike towns that turn into ghost towns after Labor Day, Lewes maintains a real community all year long, which is more than we can say for some situationships.
And right now, the market is practically begging you to make a move. It’s one of the most desirable and stable markets in the county — built for buyers thinking long-term, not flippers, and Sussex County overall has flipped into genuine buyer’s market territory for the first time in years. Translation: you finally get to be the one with leverage.
Bethany Beach: My Personal Pick
Full disclosure: I own in Bethany. So consider this section a little biased — and also the most honest thing I’ll tell you in this whole article.
When I drive down from D.C., I’m not looking for more of D.C. I love this city, but I also love leaving it — and yes, some of the people in it too (you know who you are, and so do I). Bethany gives me that full exhale. It’s quiet in the way that actually means something: fewer crowds, slower mornings, a soundtrack that’s mostly waves instead of nightlife. It leans hard into its “quiet resort” reputation, with low property taxes and a limited geographic footprint, and it is not the least bit sorry about it.
But quiet doesn’t mean isolated. I’ve got a genuinely excellent food scene nearby, real shopping, and a string of charming neighboring beach towns — and when I do want a taste of Rehoboth’s energy, it’s a short, easy drive away. I get to choose my dose of chaos instead of living inside it.
And here’s the part that matters most for this article: the price. If you’ve looked at Rehoboth listings and quietly closed the tab in despair, I need you to hear this — you can absolutely afford a beach house. It just doesn’t have to be in Rehoboth. Bethany’s average home value sits around $848,592, which is still real money, no question — but it buys you more house, more land, and more peace than the same budget gets you closer to the boardwalk. Bethany is welcoming too, just without Rehoboth’s decades of built-in queer institutional history — and for plenty of us, that trade-off is more than worth it.
Fenwick Island: Small Town, Big Flex
Fenwick rarely gets mentioned and, frankly, it should be insulted. It’s tiny, it’s quiet, and it has beach access without the carnival energy. The market data tends to lump it in with Bethany, where single-family oceanfront homes clear $1 million while entry-level condos start in the $600s — proof that “under-the-radar” doesn’t mean “bargain bin,” it means “fewer people fighting you for it.”
South Bethany: For the Boat Gays
Some of us want sand between our toes. Others want a private dock and a boat named something deeply unserious. South Bethany’s canal communities are built for the latter — water access on both sides, fewer crowds, and a lifestyle that says, “I have a captain’s hat and I am not afraid to wear it.”
The Math Works in Your Favor Now
Here’s the part that should really get your attention: Sussex County’s median sold price has dropped to $440,000, down 3.3% year-over-year, and buyers are routinely closing around 88 cents on the dollar compared to asking price. That’s a far cry from the unhinged bidding wars of 2021 and 2022, when overpaying was basically a competitive sport. Inventory across the county sits at nearly 2,500 active listings — the most of any county in Delaware, meaning you actually get to be picky for once. Revolutionary, we know.
And no, choosing one of these towns doesn’t mean leaving your people behind. Sussex Pride serves the entire county, not just Rehoboth proper, and CAMP Rehoboth’s resources extend well beyond town limits too. You’re not exiling yourself to the suburbs of queerness — you’re just getting a bigger kitchen, a quieter porch, and a much shorter line for the bathroom.
Add in the fact that Delaware has no estate tax and some of the lowest property taxes around, savings that genuinely add up over a retirement horizon, and the case writes itself. Rehoboth will always be the beating, sequined heart of queer beach culture in Delaware. But if you’ve been telling yourself a beach house isn’t in the cards — I’m here to tell you it absolutely is. It just might be 15 minutes south, with your own quiet porch, your own salt air, and considerably more room to breathe.
Have a real estate question or Rehoboth market tip? Reach out to [email protected] for LGBTQ-friendly real estate resources in the Rehoboth area.
Justin Noble is a Realtor licensed in D.C., Maryland, and Delaware with Monument Sotheby’s International Realty. Reach him at [email protected] or 302-897-7499.
Real Estate
‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast’
Real estate agents must adapt, learn how to manage from within
“Culture Eats Strategy for Breakfast” was a phrase often repeated in many of my management courses from the University of Illinois. The concept was discussed at length – how the best laid plans can sometimes be supported or derailed by the culture of the people involved in whichever project to be implemented. Whether it be a project to implement new software, roll out a new product or service, or just reaching a sales target, the way the team involved works together can indeed affect the outcome.
Perhaps this is just another way to say, “teamwork makes the dream work!” Most teams usually have someone who is designated as a leader. The leader can try to lead through authority and control or can alternatively try to lead through influence and encouraging a more collective framework for solving problems.
Why does this matter when picking the right real estate agent or team to work with? Besides having a job as a salesperson for the brokerage, the real estate agent is contractually bound to act on their client’s behalf. The buyer broker agreement is in place so that the agent and the client can work together as a team in communications regarding offer strategy, during negotiations, implementing marketing plans, as well as selecting which renovations or upgrades to choose before selling a property. After the property goes under contract, the job isn’t “done”. There is still work to do.
At this point, the agents then turn into a project manager of sorts – coordinating communications between the lending team, the title attorneys, the other client’s agents, any governmental agencies that could be involved in down payment assistance or helping to clear a property for a sale, and often times groups like a condo board, a home inspector, or contractors when arranging repairs and estimates before a final walk through.
In short, the agent takes on somewhat of a “leadership role” in the transaction and ensures that all the ducks stay in a row until the project is complete. That agent will hopefully be very fluid and forthcoming with their information, copying the required parties on all communications and creating a “paper trail” of who said what or didn’t offer to fix A, B, or C, so that all the minutiae of the contract can be addressed and fulfilled before the settlement date. The agent often must wear many hats and quickly learn the communication styles of an entire new set of people in a short period. One person may not return calls for a week after being contacted. Another person may go on vacation at the beginning of the process and not return emails for two weeks. Another person may wish to have daily updates of the progress of the process.
In this way – an agent quickly learns in each transaction that “culture can eat strategy for breakfast.” Because the agent must adapt to a wide variety of communication styles, learn how to “manage from within”, build support for closing the project by the due date, and somehow keep all the interested parties invested, engaged, and responsive.
Who you work with matters when picking the right person to represent you in your next transaction – so, just remember that “teamwork makes the dream work!”
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
Dear Michael,
I’ve been dating Mark for three years, living together for two, and I’m not sure he’s for me. We get along great but I’m questioning how attracted I am to him.
I was never crazy about him physically but he was such a sweet and smart guy that I wanted to date him.
Sex was never mind-blowing and the longer we’ve been together the more this is bothering me. I wonder if I could find someone who appeals to me more, physically.
On the plus side, I like him a lot. He has good values, shares my religious faith, which is hard to find in another gay guy, is responsible and has a good work ethic. Also, I just have fun with him and he’s always interested to hear what’s on my mind. He’s an all-around decent guy.
As I’m writing this, I’m thinking that he seems great and that I’m a fool for even questioning our relationship. But all my friends are always talking about the amazing sex they are having, and then I think I’m missing out on a key part of life because my sex life is comparatively lackluster.
I don’t want to settle. But how likely am I to find another guy who is as all-around a good catch as Mark, but with more sexual chemistry?
Michael replies:
I don’t think the right approach is to wonder about your chances for of finding someone better. Anyone you find will have things you aren’t crazy about.
For example, you might find someone whom you’re wildly attracted to sexually, but they’ll bore you or annoy you, or have values you don’t respect.
I understand that you aren’t wildly sexually attracted to Mark. The truth is that it’s extremely unlikely that you would remain wildly sexually attracted to anyone for that long. People tend to get used to each other over time. Sex can remain great, but more from closeness and love than heat and sizzle.
I work with people all the time who wonder if there is someone “better” out there. And I tell them, they’re never going to get through all the possibilities before they die. Instead, how about thinking if the guy you are with is someone you’d like to go with on this journey through life?
Mark’s attributes that you mention sound wonderful to me. After more than 30 years working with folks on relationships, and being in my own 30+ year relationship, I have learned a thing or two about what creates a relationship that is satisfying and good. A decent, kind guy with admirable values is an excellent start.
The question is, can you live with your sex life not being on an orgasmically hot mind-blowing level? I hope the answer is yes, because sex with anyone you pick is not likely to stay in that sort of realm for long.
Another point to consider: I don’t think you should get too caught up in what your friends are telling you. They may be having amazing sex, but are they all having it with the same long-term partner? As I mentioned, long-term sex can be great, but the excitement tends to be replaced by caring connection over time.
I’ll generalize here for a moment: Because so many gay men have many sexual partners, the kind of sex you have with someone new, whom you’re tremendously attracted to, tends to be glorified among gay men as the gold standard of sex. But it’s not realistic for sex with a long-term partner.
This glorification is a big problem: It leaves gay men who are not having torrid sex with lots of guys feeling like there is something wrong with the sex they are having, that they are missing out on something super fantastic. Just like you are feeling.
If you want a lifetime of ongoing hot sex, I don’t think you should be looking for a relationship. If you are willing to accept sex being a not-always fantastic, but perhaps consistently loving, often good, and occasionally great part of life with a kind decent guy, then Mark might just be the right partner for you after all.
(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C., Maryland, Virginia, New York, and all PSYPACT states. He can be found at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].)
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