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YouTube sensation a welcome voice for equality

Zach Wahls pays tribute to his moms in new book

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Zach Wahls, author of the new book ā€œMy Two Moms,ā€ likely needs no introduction to many readers. The former University of Iowa student achieved national fame in 2011 when his speech before the state House Judiciary Committee hearing on marriage equality went viral on YouTubeā€”not once, but twice: in February and November 2011. In the speech, he famously said that his mothersā€™ sexual orientation has had no effect on the content of his character.

Now, the civil rights activist, speaker and entrepreneur has expounded at greater length on just how his mothers have influenced his character.

ā€œMy Two Momsā€ (written in partnership with author Bruce Littlefield), ā€œis a response to all those who say I am ā€˜differentā€™ā€ because of having two moms, Wahls writes. His main audience is thus people outside the LGBT communityā€”but those within it will also find much inspiration in his words. Wahls weaves stories of his childhood and family together with reasoned arguments in favor of lesbian and gay equality. It is a memoir with a healthy dose of social justiceā€”or an argument for social justice backed by deep personal experience.

He wrote the book thinking about a young boy with two moms whom he once met at an event for LGBT families. He says, ā€œKnowing the challenges that little boy will faceā€”that weā€™re still not at a point when he can live a childhood untouched by fear and unsullied by hateā€”breaks my heart. This book is for him.ā€

He begins by saying that he doesnā€™t expect to convince every reader to accept gay families or same-sex marriage. He simply wants to tell the story of his family and its values. It is a disarming approach that sets the tone for the whole bookā€”encapsulated by his assertion, ā€œWe are more alike than we are different.ā€

Wahls is an Eagle Scoutā€”the highest rank of the Boy Scouts of Americaā€”and structures each of his chapters around one of the Scoutsā€™ core values: Be Prepared, Do a Good Turn Daily, and A Scout Is: Obedient, Trustworthy, Kind, Friendly, Reverent, Helpful, Courteous, Cheerful, Loyal, Clean, Thrifty and Brave. He shows how his moms taught him those values, and explains how each one supports an attitude of acceptance, equality, and being true to oneself.

Given the Boy Scoutsā€™ policy of not allowing gay Scouts or Scout leaders, Wahlsā€™ use of the Scouting ideals, not to mention his participation in Scouting in the first place, may seem misplaced. Wahls notes, however, that his family was ā€œwelcomed with open armsā€ by the local troop. His mom Jackie served as a den leader, and his mom Terry as an interim Cubmaster.

And showing how his lesbian moms instilled in him the same values that the Boy Scouts themselves cherish is in fact a stroke of rhetorical brilliance, demonstrating why he once won the Iowa state debate championship.

But the book is more than a lecture on values. Wahls gives us a moving and sometimes humorous profile of his family, starting with how his biological mom (then single) conceived him. He then shares how his moms met, and moves on to dinnertime conversations, sports, school, dealing with bullies (and avoiding becoming one himself), learning to shave from a friendā€™s dad, becoming an Eagle Scout, the impact of national and state events on his family, and, most poignantly, his mom Terryā€™s battle with multiple sclerosis.

Despite his fervent support of LGBT equality, Wahls expresses compassion toward those with differing views. He urges us to get to know them as individuals, rather than simply labeling them all ā€œhatefulā€ or ā€œbigotā€ and turning away. Otherwise, he says, we can never engage with or understand each other.

At the same time, he is not above jabs at certain opponents of equality. For example, he notes that when he became an Eagle Scout, the Scoutmaster revised a traditional portion of the ceremony that acknowledges the Scoutā€™s father. Instead, he acknowledged both of Wahlsā€™ moms. His mom Terry, struggling with multiple sclerosis, then summoned all her strength to get out of her wheelchair and stand by Jackie while Wahls presented them with pins. ā€œMitt Romney once wrote that itā€™s the mothers who make the Eaglesā€¦. [My moms] had stood with me throughout my journey, loyally supporting and encouraging me when I needed it most.ā€ Wahls notes. Point made.

Wahls ends the book with a section demonstrating his formal debating skills as applied to the question of same-sex marriage. Itā€™s the least personal part of the book, but one of the most thorough eviscerations of arguments against marriage equality Iā€™ve ever seen, short of the Prop 8 hearings over Californiaā€™s marriage ban.

My Two Moms is an engaging portrait of a young man coming of age. With its unthreatening, personable tone and an underpinning of the best kind of persuasive rhetoric, it is the perfect book to act as a bridge between LGBT families and those who arenā€™t so sure about us. Both groups can learn much from it.

Wahls cautions, however, that ā€œI am not like all kids with two moms, and not all kids with two moms are like me.ā€ He may have shouldered the responsibility of being a spokesperson for LGBT families, butā€”showing his character once againā€”he knows the limits of that role. Still, he is likely to remain a leading and welcome voice in our movement toward equality.

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Survivors of sex crimes are unsung heroes

Taking trauma and turning it to their advantage

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Jake Stewart is a D.C.-based writer and barback.

(Editorā€™s note: This is the second of a two-part story. Click here to read the first installment.)

Last month, I started watching ā€œThe X-files.ā€ 

For the most part I loved the show, with Agents Scully and Mulder as the primary reasons why. Yet what I found most frustrating was watching their investigations. As early as episode one, set in a small town of scared people guarded by scary men, Agent Scully proposed coincidences while Agent Mulder proposed aliens. Despite the episode having ā€œcultā€ written all over it, both agents seemed none the wiser. 

Recently, I learned the FBI has an open process for writers and other creatives to learn how the agency works. I also discovered the FBI has a history of monitoring writers. In fact, the FBI is about as image-conscious as your typical D.C. gay, making me wonder how the ā€œX-Filesā€ moved forward with little pushback. Thatā€™s about as interesting as UFOs being discovered in New Mexico as we tested the atomic bomb. 

But if youā€™re reading this, you likely want me to shut up about the ā€œX-Filesā€ and get back to my story. When I left off, my friend had disappeared and my work cleared me of any wrongdoing. That said, I was mysteriously fired in September 2022ā€”nearly a year after the initial incidentā€”and just six weeks after my boss learned that I wrote books. 

The process of my firing was strange, to say the least. First and foremost, I was never given a reason. To this day it remains a mystery. My now-former employerā€”a high-profile lobbying firmā€”then bullied me into signing an NDA to access my severance. 

By the way, I negotiated up. While I donā€™t know what I did, I had a feeling I had that power. I was right. 

Just prior to the firing, they asked me to bring in my laptop so they could download my files. This rang an alarm for me, primarily because they never gave me a laptop. So, they wanted me to bring in my personal laptop. As a writer with original materials, I reasonably asked what constituted a work file. I never received an answer. 

Coincidentally, I met my ex-boyfriend exactly one week before I got fired. He is the same ex-boyfriend from my religion piece, in which I mentioned he fell into hard times. Specifically, I was referring to concerning signs I spotted last April, primarily on the gay apps, and with memories of the last boy still fresh on my mind, I refused to let another slip from my grasp. 

So, what did I do? I dove headfirst into hell in a messy attempt to rescue him. After playing this new game of cat-and-mouse in which I was said mouse, allow me to share what I learned: Over the course of several months, I spotted sketchy characters at my exā€™s placeā€”characters I suspected dealt hard drugs, which was highly out of character for him. Moreover, I found online accounts promoting extremely suspect pornography and, yes, pimping services on X (formerly Twitter), some of which looked a lot like my ex. While I didnā€™t know what exactly was happening, I knew something was off, but when I confronted my ex, he denied it. 

Being the stubborn asshole that I am, I decided to check these sketchy characters out for myself. It turns out I was spot on about their sketchiness. I learned they not only drug unsuspecting young men in a coordinated manner, but once drugged they sexually violate them andā€”if drugged enoughā€”begin recording videos. Itā€™s all made to look random yet safe; for example, there always seems to be a nurse in the group who is ā€œexperiencedā€ in administering needles. 

Once I had proof these people were unsafe, I took further action for my ex. In mid-November, I reached out to someone in his personal life, which was a tough decision since he was closeted. I was strategic and chose someone who knew he was bisexual, and after connecting with her on Instagram, spoke on the phone with her the next morning. Upon hearing my concerns, she agreed based on her own observations. 

Apparently, she spotted signs of him being physically harmed over the summer. She and I spoke for hours on end about the situation and how we could help him. Then, just a week later, I lost contact with her and my ex. I havenā€™t heard from either since. 

I eventually grew concerned enough to contact the police and the FBI. In the meantime, particularly following my trauma article, sex workers approached me to share their storiesā€”primarily stories of rape and abuse alongside a power structure rooted in it. As for those who try to oppose this system? Theyā€™re often written off as mentally ill. 

I donā€™t know about you, but I refuse to live in a world where young queers are shepherded into this system. Thatā€™s the opposite of what I envision for the queer community. 

Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend arrived in January, along with more sex workers. Once again, some approached me to share their storiesā€”about their aspirations, about their art, about their perspectives on the world. And once again, about the system of abuse designed against them from the start. I heard stories of young boys raped by their fathers, or friends of their fathers, or about the drugs used to coerce them into sexual activity. Sadly, just like a UFO witness, they are usually written off and never taken seriously, especially if they have a record of drug abuse or mental illness. Seems to be a pattern, doesnā€™t it? 

That said, these men are not solely victims. If anything, they took their trauma and turned it to their advantage. Iā€™d like to take this moment to thank them. Theyā€™re unsung heroesā€”each and every oneā€”in a nation that often shames them. 

Yet as proud as I am of these sex workers, my heart was equally broken. These stories were painful to hear, to say the least. I quickly grew paranoid of people around me, even friends at times. There were other times I sat alone in my apartment, bawling over the men I had lost, along with the pain others had experienced. This only strengthened my resolve to end it.Ā 

To top this all off, my final discovery came just two months ago. Turns out thereā€™s an X account publicly teasing me about this entire affair. The account even references this column and, according to the receipts, started well before I noticed concerning signs about my ex in the first place.  

Hello there, dear X account. It appears youā€™ve been observing me. Consider this my proverbial tapping back on the glass. 

Wowā€”there seems to be a lot of time, energy, and effort spent on little ole me. Why is that, I wonder? Iā€™ve mentioned before Iā€™m just a measly little barback who has been fired twice. Although looking back, those firings were strange too, werenā€™t they? 

Is it the abuse I uncovered? Is it the details of my loverā€™s past? Is it something I wrote? Is it a combination of the three? And is it possible that the little dark cloud thatā€™s been following me in D.C. is more intentional than I once thought? 

I may never learn the truth on my own, but I can pose another question: whatā€™s the only thing scarier than UFOs? To me thereā€™s just one answer: that UFOs were never real in the first place. Occasionally, answers to unsettling mysteries simply unearth more unsettling mysteries. 

I mentioned before in this column that I arrived to D.C. naĆÆve about the world, perhaps just as naĆÆve as Agents Scully and Mulder. Yet in my naivetĆ© I tripped on something: the rot hiding beneath the surface of our nationā€™s capital. No, it isnā€™t coincidence. It isnā€™t aliens, either. But whatever it is, I alone cannot identify it. 

Throughout my time uncovering this story, Iā€™ve come across friends, acquaintances, and even relatives who suffered abuse, along with threats or shaming to keep them quiet. They come from all races, creeds, backgrounds, and orientations, and as it turns out, some of the infrastructure of power in D.C. and in towns across this nation are built around it. While Iā€™m ready to tear it down, this isnā€™t just my story. I might be the one starting it, but itā€™s not on me to finish. 

The most I can do is hand the pen over to the victims. Iā€™ve shared my part. Now itā€™s their turn. As for the audience: I hope youā€™re now ready to start believing.  


Jake Stewart is a D.C.-based writer and barback.

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Elon Muskā€™s mistakes

A capable businessman compromised by transphobia

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Elon Musk (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

In two previous articles for the Blade, I enumerated how Elon Musk is a rampant transphobe and a danger to society. My position on Musk, since then, is nuanced. In one of these articles, I mildly applauded his brilliance, as I will enumerate now that he was able to create a payment company (PayPal), a car company (Tesla), and a rocket company (SpaceX), all with extreme success. Musk, in this regard, is a Renaissance man of sorts, able to use his Wharton accolades and other courses in physics, math, and coding to his will, and revamping companies to earn billions of dollars in profits. Nowadays, itā€™s a common brag among best friends to own a ā€œTessieā€ – slang for a Tesla – and to ride around for fun. ā€œTessiesā€ have seeped into popular culture. And on the streets of LA, from the suburbs of D.C., to the outskirts and roads of Manhattan, Teslas are a common phenomenon, and are skyrocketing in sales. And PayPal, to Muskā€™s credit, is also still a platform that millions use regularly to send money to friends or other businesses. Meanwhile, SpaceX is preparing for the future, creating an infrastructure for space exploration. 

Musk is undeniably successful. Yet two things should counter his fame and cause serious alarm. As I have spoken about in the past, Muskā€™s relationship with his transgender daughter is nonexistent, as Vivian Wilson, the daughter, states that he was an absent parent who harassed her as a child. Muskā€™s transphobia has been on full display: he banned the word ā€œcisgenderā€ from X.com, which led many LGBTQ rights groups away from the platform. I was no stranger to this word ban: a conservative journalist covering my stories had to use c*isgender in asterisks to avoid having her post deleted. Word bans were and are common symptoms of fascist regimes. Hitler and the Nazis infamously banned words and books from the public realm, and Musk is doing the same thing. 

The second cause for alarm in Muskā€™s rise to power is his heading of DOGE, the Department of Government Efficiency. At first, hiring Musk as the leader of DOGE seemed like a good idea, even with someone who harbors transphobic complaints about him. As the richest man in the world, and as a man who has led multiple companies with billions of dollars in revenue, it would seem that a private sector tycoon like Musk would have the merits to lead DOGE.

Yet almost immediately, such merits came into question. In early February of 2025, Musk essentially axed USAID, the State Departmentā€™s aid wing, an organization tasked with giving funds to needy countries and doing other life-saving work like vaccine promotion. The axing of USAID spoke right away to Muskā€™s sheer ignorance of USAID and the good it has done for decades across the world. In effect, he created, almost overnight, a dystopia in American international aid development. Without USAID, the United States canā€™t fund foreign countries to engage in beneficial mutual partnerships with us. 

The axing of USAID from U.S. foreign policy will surely not be the only toxic decision that Musk makes. Down the line, and even already, we can expect a significant reduction, or just outright banning, of DEI initiatives. DEI initiatives are important for marginalized communities to have a voice and funding through government. For instance, studies that analyze the wellbeing of LGBTQ youth would presumably be axed. More studies analyzing racial discrimination in the workplace could be axed as well. 

Overall, Musk shows a demonstrated brilliance in almost every endeavor he touches, with the exception of DOGE and Trump-related decisions. And the rampant transphobia that he has shown toward his child has painted his character in murky colors. 


Isaac AmendĀ is a writer based in the D.C. area. He is a transgender man and was featured in National Geographicā€™s ā€œGender Revolutionā€ documentary. He serves on the board of the LGBT Democrats of Virginia. Contact him atĀ [email protected]Ā or on Instagram atĀ @literatipapi.Ā 

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Trump is a carnival barker masquerading as president

Throwing the world into chaos by cozying up to Putin

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President Donald Trump speaks at a joint session of Congress on March 4. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Trump is a carnival barker, who masquerades as a president. He is a racist, felon, found liable for sexual assault, and in many ways a danger to the LGBTQ community. What he is not, is a credible president. He is a grifter and a liar. He sees himself as an entertainer, which accounts for his speech to Congress. He thinks nothing of lying and using props, even a brave young cancer survivor, to get applause, and feed his ego. 

The real danger of his second term in office is he is surrounded with some people worse than himself, but with more brains. The first is hard to be, the second is easy. His best friend and co-president, is a Nazi sympathizer, the richest man in the world. Contrary to Trump, who has declared bankruptcy multiple times in his businesses, Musk has made a real fortune. There are those who claim he has paid to be Trumpā€™s co-president. First helping fund the campaign, others even suggesting he has promised Trump billions after he is out of office. I donā€™t know that to be true, but clearly not beyond belief. While Trump sees himself as a king, Musk sees himself as an emperor, controlling the world. Trump has allowed him unlimited access to the Oval Office, from which to carry out his goals. Trumpā€™s attitude to people here, and around the world, suffering because of him, is that they be damned.

Now we know Trump and Musk, have bought off, or scared off, any opposition from Republican senators and congresspersons. They have gotten them all on their knees. The only hope for our democracy is the courts. We will see if they hold, and actually perform their constitutional role, as the third arm of our government. Will they stand up to the two despots in the White House? Will they be willing to take the glare, and threats to their lives, from MAGA supporters, and do the right thing? The right thing is not what I want, but what the constitution of our country calls for. 

People are being fired willy-nilly, without any thought to the repercussions. We know this as they have fired people, and been forced to rehire them when they realized what they did. From the NationalĀ NuclearĀ Security Administration, which oversees the nation’s arsenal ofĀ nuclearĀ weapons, to those trying to deal with bird flu at the CDC. They have in a short time thrown the world into chaos, by moving away from all our allies and cozying up to Putin, a dictator, who seems to be holding something over Trumpā€™s head. Musk is posting on X and whispering in Trumpā€™s ear to leave NATO, and populate Mars. A megalomaniac with thoughts of being the next Hitler, and taking over the world using Donald Trump as his stooge.Ā 

Musk has eclipsed the vice president, who then tried to reclaim his role by embarrassing the United States at the meeting with Ukraineā€™s President Zelenskyy. Vance made the president look weak. Then when Trump spoke to Congress, thanking Musk, all Vance could do was sit behind the president with a stupid grin on his face, jump up to applaud every few minutes, at the spectacle taking place in front of him. If he wasnā€™t so venal I would have actually felt sorry for him. 

Last week was the ninth anniversary of Nancy Reaganā€™s death. It reminded me she was the one who ran the country, while hiding her husbandā€™s dementia from the people. Even with all that, in some ways I longed for those days. A time I could disagree with just about every Republican policy, but could sit and talk to Republicans and have a rational conversation. In those days I could, and did, actually meet the leadership of the Log Cabin Republicans for lunch, and not end up feeling dirty like I would with some of those leading them today. 

It may sound funny to say, but I yearn for a two-party system where we can debate issues with intelligent people. I know how bad Reagan was, and that he caused the death of thousands by not being willing to deal with HIV/AIDS. But then there were Democrats like Ed Koch, mayor of New York City, who did the same. I hope we can get back to a day when we can really debate policy, everyone telling the truth to voters, and not have a Republican Party that believes lying, and fighting culture wars, is the way to go. 


Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

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