Arts & Entertainment
Sophie’s choice
‘90s hitmaker returns after seven years with new album
Sophie B. Hawkins released her first studio album in seven years last week. (Photos courtesy Trumpet Swan Entertainment)
How hard is it in this day and age to bounce back from a pop music career misstep? One likes to think pop culture — America ultimately voting with its pocketbook of course — eventually rewards and rediscovers the deserving.
One thinks of Kelly Clarkson who managed a comeback after the ill-advised downer (though it still went Platinum) 2007 album “My December.” And love her or hate her, Mariah Carey beat the odds with the monster-selling “Emancipation of Mimi” after her epic “Glitter” failure (both film and soundtrack).
But what if your supposed misstep isn’t even a bad album? Sophie B. Hawkins was well on her way to establishing distinguished career by the end of the ‘90s. She was red hot right out of the gate — “Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover,” which hit No. 5 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1992, is a defining song of the era. She was nominated for the Best New Artist Grammy that year (co-nominated with Billy Ray Cyrus, Kriss Kross and Jon Secada; Arrested Development won). She survived the sophomore jinx with another mammoth hit “As I Lay Me Down,” a VH-1 staple from her second album “Whaler” that peaked at No. 6 during a 44-week run on the Hot 100 and a whopping 67 weeks (six at No. 1) on the AC chart. Unless you were in a convent that year, you heard it many, many times.
With that kind of start, the sky was conceivably the limit and expectations ran extremely high for her 1999 follow-up, “Timbre.” But trouble loomed — it’s a famous story, actually: Hawkins’ then label (Sony) only reluctantly released first single “Lose Your Way” with a banjo accompaniment. They argued it was poison for pop radio. Hawkins said it was essential. Though re-released independently in 2001 and followed by an indie follow-up called “Wilderness” in 2004, Hawkins lost her commercial, but not her artistic, footing. “Wilderness” turned out to be an unfortunately apt title — she spent years wandering.
Perhaps this wasn’t a total surprise, though. Anybody who’d paid attention knew Hawkins had a wild streak. She shimmied and writhed like a woman possessed on her duet with Melissa Etheridge on the latter’s VH-1 special in 1995 with a slate of then-hot female singer/songwriters like Joan Osborne, Jewel and Paula Cole. Those who caught Hawkins in concert knew of her penchant for the unconventional. As her audiences got smaller, her jeans got more shredded, her stream-of-consciousness stage meanderings more fluid. She wrangled memorably with Howard Stern about why she doesn’t shave her legs.
Though she’s long shunned labels for sexual orientation, the fact that she’s been in a same-sex relationship with filmmaker Gigi Gaston for several years (Gaston’s “The Cream Will Rise” follows Hawkins on an early tour) is one of the more conventional aspects of her persona. And it’s easy to forget that her wildly eclectic albums are full of intricately crafted and sometimes epic, sometimes disarming power pop that at times rivals Joni Mitchell’s best stuff for complexity and lyrical depth — check out “Mysteries We Understand,” “Only Love” “Help Me Breathe” and “I Need Nothing Else” especially.
Her hit singles are only part of the story. An early MusicHound review said, “Dig (further) than (the hits) and her abilities to seamlessly weave in and out of jazz, folk and dance, all driven by a kind of tribal percussion sensibility (emerge).”
But Hawkins, now 44, is starting to sound her age. Not vocally — her singing still has the luster that struck her chart gold all those years ago, but her insights during an hour-long phone chat last week show a woman who’s thought long and hard about life, pop culture popularity cycles, music making in the Internet age and much more. With no apparent time constraints, Hawkins gamely goes anywhere the questions take her and beyond, from hair tips and why she’s a dog person to the deeper story behind the banjo battles and her still-complicated relationship with her mother (explored memorably in “Cream”). The impetus for all this is her interminably delayed new album “The Crossing,” her first collection of new material in seven years, which dropped last week.
“People were always telling me, ‘Oh, you sold out with ‘Tongues and Tales,’ or, ‘Oh, you sold out with ‘Whaler.’ I’m not saying ‘Tongues and Tales’ was just art for art’s sake, but that was really the best I could to try and reach people,” Hawkins says. “Those albums were the least weird I could possibly be. You want your music to reach people, you want it to get out there to as many as possible, otherwise it’s too isolating. It’s like masturbation, you’re not doing it with anybody.”
Hawkins considers herself part of a group of ‘90s women singer/songwriters — she mentions Paula Cole and Tori Amos as peers — who barely “squeezed through” the music industry gate before the doors shut altogether, from the advent of file sharing to endless label buyouts that left precious few major players in the game. Yes, there are still women hitmakers — Rihanna, Adele — but they’re few and far between and getting younger all the time.
“I think everybody knew what was going to happen, the chilly winds were already blowing,” she says. “I felt with the first album like, ‘Wow, I really got away with something’ in spite of all this. Then with ‘Whaler’ it felt like that again, although that was really the beginning of the fight. … In the ‘90s, it really started turning against the individual artist into this totally corporate thing in every way. It was like, ‘Oh, I’m with this group, I’m with that group, this is Sophie’s sound, this is the lesbian sound, the country artist, the right wing, the left wing — I feel like several of us just barely squeaked through in spite of all that.”
And yes, some of that line of thinking is what’s led Hawkins to shun traditional LGBT labels.
She admits she and Gaston have been in an exclusive relationship (Gaston is also her manager), but says a lack of general perception of nuance causes her to avoid certain language.
“It’s because nobody listens,” Hawkins says. “They just want to say it, and shut up and not hear any more about it. I love the word bisexual but it has such a negative connotation, I don’t know why. It’s like this big, scary thing for people so I’ve tried to come up with something that’s what I really think I am … I’m definitely not heterosexual or homosexual, I love men and women equally and passionately. I’m just having a relationship right now with a woman and I think there are very few men I could have a relationship with. I’m a very singular person. I’m committed to this woman, but if I were not, I’d probably be alone.”
The years since “Wilderness” have not been inactive for Hawkins. She became a mother — her son with Gaston, Dashiell, is 3. She popped up at the Grammys pre-show as a presenter, campaigned avidly for Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, released several singles along the way including one (“The Land, the Sea and the Sky”) as a benefit for the Waterkeeper Alliance, an environmental group.
She released a live album and her song “Life is a Bomb” was on the soundtrack for the 2011 Garry Marshall film “New Year’s Eve,” a feat Hawkins says was wildly against the odds. She also tweaked “The Crossing” endlessly as the years went by and various proposed release dates came and went. Hawkins says it’s “a miracle” the album came out at all.
She also worked with Gaston on a musical for Kristin Chenoweth that’s on hold until Chenoweth’s producer of choice is available and she has high hopes for an October musical in Los Angeles (Hawkins lives in Venice, Calif., and has been on the West Coast for more than a decade) in which she’ll star as Janis Joplin.
Hawkins says she knew instinctively, she was supposed to do the Joplin piece.
“My reaction was just, ‘Yes,’ and I never say yes to anything right away. I just think there’s something I can do with Janis that will speak to every creative person out there who feels overlooked or treated in a way that’s not fair. … If we can get this ball in the basket, I have a good feeling about this, I think it could be a slam dunk. It will be so relevant to now, it really gives me a freedom I cannot even tell you.”
Hawkins guesses, counting the Chenoweth musical and “The Crossing” material, she’s written about 300 songs in the last seven years. The album will include acoustic remakes of “Damn” and “As I Lay Me Down.” Hawkins has a distribution deal with EMI for the release.
Hawkins says she’s a huge dog lover because she could never have one as a kid. She loves them because there’s “no barrier” to their affection and presence.
Of her trademark abundant tresses, Hawkins says her only hair care tip is to avoid washing it as much as possible. She insists hers looks best when it’s been weeks since the last shampoo.
“That’s when I always get the most compliments, people saying ‘Oh, you have such great hair.’”
She’s also realistic about “The Crossings” commercial prospects. She says she’ll never stoop to giving her music away but realizes the chances of duplicating her early chart success are practically nil.
On one hand, Hawkins says her art (she paints too) is something she “couldn’t not do.” Conversely, she says it’s Gaston who has urged her to continue against increasingly difficult industry and commercial odds.
“She’s so much more than a manager,” Hawkins says. “Things bother her more than they bother me. Oh, believe me, I would have just gone away by now and written and painted by myself if it weren’t for her. I don’t think I could have survived but she tells me, ‘You’re not giving up, you’re a great artist, it kills me that people don’t see this.’ She really takes it on as one of her missions.”
So in hindsight, was the banjo battle worth it?
Hawkins says the story has gotten oversimplified as a kind of cautionary tale for supposedly overambitious pop singers — as in, “Remember Sophie B. Hawkins? Look what happened to her.”
She says it was more an issue of increasing pressure to write songs in huge groups of collaboration Hawkins found unwieldy and artistically stifling. She says she would have agreed to remove the banjo line for the radio version and kept it on a remix or B-side version (“Believe me, all those scenarios were discussed”), but push came to shove when label execs put their foot down over her using it for a live TV appearance.
“It was really the straw that broke the camel’s back,” she says. “It was such a clear thing to me. They were taking away my horse, in a way. I thought, ‘I can’t ride into battle without my horse. I can’t win without the horse.’ It just made me realize we weren’t on the same team anymore. … They were no longer rooting for me to win, they were trying to destroy me.”
Hawkins says she’s learned to find rewards in non-traditional places. Even though her relationship with her mother is still every bit as complicated as it was portrayed in “Cream,” Hawkins says there are sparks of healing and inspiration there too.
“There are artistic people out there struggling who never make at all,” she says. “So when somebody tells me they get it, it’s like winning an Oscar. My mother called me the other day and told me she’d listened to the new album. She said she’d felt it, whatever it was, this profound thing in the music. If your parents are alive and you get that, that’s my Grammy.”
Out & About
Gala Hispanic Theatre’s Flamenco Festival returns
Gala Hispanic Theater will host the 21st Annual “Fuego Flamenco Festival” from Thursday, Nov. 6 to Saturday, Nov. 22.
The festival will feature American and international artists who will gather in the nation’s capital to celebrate the art of Flamenco. Guests can save 20% on tickets with a festival pass.
The festival kicks off now through Nov. 10 with the D.C. premiere of Crónica de un suceso, created, choreographed and performed by Rafael Ramírez from Spain, accompanied by renowned flamenco singers and musicians. In this new show, Ramírez pays homage to the iconic Spanish Flamenco artist Antonio Gades who paved the way for what Flamenco is today. GALA’s engagement is part of an eight-city tour of the U.S. by Ramírez and company.
The magic continues Nov. 14-16 with the re-staging of the masterpiece Enredo by Flamenco Aparicio Dance Company, a reflection of the dual nature of the human experience, individual and social, which premiered at GALA in 2023.
For more information, visit the theatre’s website.
Friday, November 7
“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 12 p.m. in person at the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s new location at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W. To RSVP, visit the DC Center’s website or email [email protected].
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 7 p.m. at Silver Diner Ballston. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Saturday, November 8
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 12 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Sunday Supper on Saturday will be at 2 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This event will be full of food, laughter and community. For more information, email [email protected].
Monday, November 10
“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).
“Soulfully Queer: LGBTQ+ Emotional Health and Spirituality Drop-In” will be at 3 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This group will meet weekly for eight weeks, providing a series of drop-in sessions designed to offer a safe, welcoming space for open and respectful conversation. Each session invites participants to explore themes of spirituality, identity, and belonging at their own pace, whether they attend regularly or drop in occasionally. For more details visit the DC Center’s website.
Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.
Wednesday, November 12
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
“Gay Men Speed Dating” will be at 7 p.m. at Public Bar Live. This is a fresh alternative to speed dating and matchmaking in a relaxed environment. Tickets start at $37 and are available on Eventbrite.
Thursday, November 13
The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.
Sports
Gay speedskater racing toward a more inclusive future in sports
Conor McDermott-Mostowy says anti-DEI push is driving away corporate sponsors
LOS ANGELES — As the countdown begins to the February Winter Olympic Games in Milan, Pride House LA is shining a spotlight on queer athletes who are breaking boundaries both on and off the field. Among them is Team USA speedskater Conor McDermott-Mostowy – a fierce competitor and proud member of the queer community. With blistering speed on the ice and a steadfast commitment to equity in sports, Conor is doing so much more than winning medals – he’s redefining what it means to represent one’s country while representing one’s community.
McDermott-Mostowy is one step closer to the 2026 Winter Olympics after winning the recent silver and bronze medals at the U.S. Championships in speedskating. He appeared at a Nov. 1 event presented by Out Athlete Fund/Pride House LA in the organization’s efforts to raise funds to support Conor and other out athletes as they pursue their Olympic dreams in Milan 2026 and beyond.The Blade spoke to the star athlete to talk about resilience, representation, and the legacy he hopes to leave one day.
Blade: Huge congrats, Conor! Winning a World Cup gold is no small feat. Do you feel like this win proved something to the world – or more importantly, to yourself?
McDermott-Mostowy: Winning gold with my team last year was definitely a major goal achieved. That said, the event we won isn’t yet an Olympic event. The races that have had the most profound impact on me actually happened two years ago.
The first was the team pursuit in Obihiro, Japan. I’d always been more of an alternate for that event, since it’s typically raced by skaters who compete in both the 1500m and 5000m. But I’d been itching for the opportunity to race it at the World Cup level. I finally got that chance when a teammate had to pull out at the last minute due to a back issue. We led the race through six of eight laps, ultimately finishing third. While it was a little disappointing to fall out of the lead, I was proud to prove that I could contribute meaningfully and help the team medal.
The second race was later that year in Salt Lake City, my home ice. After competing in Japan, I came down with a lung infection that affected my performance at the next few World Cups. Fortunately, I had time to recover before the North American World Cups and World Championships. At the Salt Lake City World Cup, I was balancing competition with completing my undergraduate degree. I didn’t know what to expect, but I ended up finishing fifth in the 1000m—my highest individual finish ever—and posted a time of 1:06.91. That’s a very significant time in speedskating; only three other Americans have gone under 1:07 in that event, all of whom became world champions. That result felt like a turning point, showing me that an Olympic or World Championship medal wasn’t just a dream—it was within reach.
Blade: This PrideHouse LA event is a huge moment. What does that support from the queer community mean to you?
McDermott-Mostowy: It’s incredibly meaningful. Being queer in Olympic sport can be very isolating, both inside and outside the sport. I barely have time to socialize outside of skating, and relocating to Salt Lake City doesn’t exactly help when it comes to queer community. So having that kind of solidarity and support from the wider LGBTQ+ community really means a lot.
Blade: Do you remember the moment you realized skating could take you all the way to the Olympics?
McDermott-Mostowy: There hasn’t been one single moment. It’s been a series of them. Over the years, I’ve had many races that shattered the limits I thought I had and inspired me to reach higher. That Salt Lake City race was one of them. It made me realize I shouldn’t just aim for the Olympics. I should aim for medals.
Another key moment came in 2018 at my last Junior World Cup, when my teammate and I finished 2nd and 3rd in the mass start. That event is similar to short track but held on a long track. It was my first full year focusing on long track after previously dabbling in it, and we had no expectation of medaling. But after we did, I realized I might actually have a future in this discipline—and that I could be competitive on the world stage. It was a pivotal realization, especially as I was trying to decide whether to continue skating or pursue a traditional college experience.
Blade: What initially drew you to speedskating? How did you get into the sport—and what’s kept you motivated?
McDermott-Mostowy: I grew up on skates. I started at age two and became a strong skater early on. But I never had any interest in hockey or figure skating. One winter, I was skating with my family on the C&O Canal in Washington, D.C., when a guy skated past us on these wild-looking speed skates. I was immediately intrigued. My parents found a local club, which happened to be run by three-time Olympian Nathaniel Mills, and I was hooked.
What’s kept me going is simple: I love it. This isn’t a sport you get rich in. I’ve only earned more than $20,000 a year twice in my career, and you can’t use it to pay for college either. The motivation has to come from within—the pursuit of excellence, the dream of going to the Olympics, and pure love for the sport.
Blade: What’s been your toughest race to date, and what did it teach you?
McDermott-Mostowy: That would be the team pursuit in Japan. I wasn’t expecting to race it and had already competed in a full weekend of events before getting the call. Team pursuit is arguably the toughest event in speedskating. Stepping up without being mentally or physically prepared was a challenge, but I did it. It showed me I could push through, even under extreme circumstances.
Blade: You’ve made headlines not just for your speed, but for your openness. What was it like coming out publicly in the world of elite sport?
McDermott-Mostowy: By the time I was publicly identified as gay, I had already been out to anyone who asked. So “coming out” doesn’t feel like the right term. It wasn’t a big declaration. I had the benefit of growing up seeing openly gay athletes and being part of a supportive community. I never felt the need to hide who I was.
Eventually, as I started achieving more on the ice, people began noticing me and the content I posted, and they put two and two together. When I was asked to speak publicly about being an openly gay athlete in speedskating, I didn’t hesitate.
Blade: What have been the biggest challenges in your career – physically, mentally, or otherwise?
McDermott-Mostowy: Honestly, my entire career has been about overcoming challenges. The two biggest obstacles have been illness and finances.
I’ve dealt with asthma, a norovirus that derailed my chances in 2022, and a fatigue condition last season that affected my performance. These setbacks take a toll. Not just physically, but mentally. When you invest everything into your sport, being forced to pause or scale back is a huge emotional hurdle.
Financially, speedskating is a tough path. Even as a consistent top-20 skater in the world, I’ve only broken $20k twice in a year, and we’re paid for just nine months, even though we train year-round. I’ve leaned on friends and family for support many times just to make ends meet.
Blade: Have you ever been told – explicitly or implicitly – that being openly gay could hurt your chances with sponsors or coaches?
McDermott-Mostowy: Never with coaches. In our sport, selections are based on the clock, not someone’s opinion. My coaches have always been great.
But when it comes to sponsorships, especially over the past year, I’ve noticed a shift. As anti-DEI sentiment grows, brands are backing away from anything that could be seen as “controversial.” Being openly gay seems to fall into that category now. Since most of our income comes from sponsorships, that retreat is deeply felt.
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