Connect with us

Arts & Entertainment

Raising trans children

Parents with gender non-conforming kids share their stories

Published

on

‘Transitions of the Heart’
Edited by Rachel Pepper, foreword by Kim Pearson
Cleis Press
$16.95
224 pages

It’s hard to imagine or understand the feelings of confusion or isolation that come when a young son says he’s really a girl or a daughter swears she’s a boy trapped in the wrong body. In the new book “Transitions of the Heart,” edited by Rachel Pepper, mothers faced with those dilemmas share how they cope.

(Image courtesy Cleis Press)

Even though it’s a problem most parents never face, it’s interesting to hear how those who have addressed it. Several say it involved a transition for both the child and parent. They write of gradually realizing their daughter isn’t just a tomboy or their son wasn’t “just going through a phase.” More than one mother admits that she knew her child was different when she was firmly corrected on pronouns and clothing choice.

Many women felt relief and were astonished when they realized that as their children were allowed to openly express their true genders, they were seeing their sons or daughters happy for the first time. As the stories unfold, it’s especially poignant when this joy has followed suicide attempts.

Still, it’s “a process.” More than one mother has hoped her child might have a change of heart. There are rants in this book, heartbreak and pain. There are moms who can’t believe this happened and in some cases, it happened more than once in the same immediate family.

And yet, most of the women in this book admit that they’ve come to respect their children and the difficult things they’ve done. For one mom, he’s “someone I would not have missed knowing for anything in the world.”

And from another, to her child: “… I’ll always love you.”

Sometimes, the “T” in “LGBT” seems to hide behind its fellow letters. Your friends and family might not even know what it stands for, but “Transitions of the Heart” explains in a gentle, celebratory way.

That’s a very useful beacon for anyone who feels isolated as their transgender child begins to embrace who (s)he is. But it’s also important, I think, that editor Rachel Pepper includes stories that aren’t so rosy mixed with the stories of acceptance and encouragement. That added a stronger, more authentic message to this book and quashed the Pollyanna-ish tone it might’ve had otherwise.

But it’s not just for parents of trans children. There are useful lessons about acceptance and unconditional love that will resonate with many parents, gay or straight.

Advertisement
FUND LGBTQ JOURNALISM
SIGN UP FOR E-BLAST

Calendar

Calendar: May 23-29

LGBTQ events in the days to come

Published

on

Friday, May 23

“Center Aging Monthly Luncheon and Yoga” will be at 12 p.m. in person at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. For more details, email [email protected]

Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity and/or expression. For more details, email [email protected]

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at DIK Bar. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

Saturday, May 24

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ community, including Allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Black Lesbian Mixer will be at 11 a.m. on Zoom. This is a support group dedicated to the joys of being a Black lesbian. For more details, email [email protected]

Sunday, May 25

“The Queen’s Table: A Women’s Empowerment Brunch” will be at 11 a.m. at Zooz. This event will celebrate queer women’s strength. For more details visit Eventbrite

Monday, May 26

“Center Aging Monday Coffee and Conversation” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected]

Tuesday, May 27

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary. Whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know you’re not 100 percent cis — this is your group. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This support group is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook

Wednesday, May 28

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, May 29

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. To be fairer with who is receiving boxes, the program is moving to a lottery system. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga with Charles M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.

Continue Reading

Photos

PHOTOS: Helen Hayes Awards

Gay Men’s Chorus, local drag artists have featured performance at ceremony

Published

on

Members of the Gay Men's Chorus of Washington as well as local drag artists joined hosts Mike Millan and Felicia Curry with other performers for a WorldPride dance number at the Helen Hayes Awards on Monday. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The 41st Helen Hayes Awards were held at The Anthem on Monday, May 19. Felicia Curry and Mike Millan served as the hosts.

A performance featuring members of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington and local drag artists was held at the end of the first act of the program to celebrate WorldPride 2025.

The annual awards ceremony honors achievement in D.C.-area theater productions and is produced by Theatre Washington.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

Continue Reading

Photos

PHOTOS: D.C. Trans Pride

Schuyler Bailar gives keynote address

Published

on

D.C. Trans Pride 2025 was held at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Library on May 17. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

2025 D.C. Trans Pride was held at Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Library on Saturday, May 17. The day was filled with panel discussions, art, social events, speakers, a resource fair and the Engendered Spirit Awards. Awardees included Lyra McMillan, Pip Baitinger, Steph Niaupari and Hayden Gise. The keynote address was delivered by athlete and advocate Schuyler Bailar.

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

Continue Reading

Popular