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Raising trans children

Parents with gender non-conforming kids share their stories

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‘Transitions of the Heart’
Edited by Rachel Pepper, foreword by Kim Pearson
Cleis Press
$16.95
224 pages

It’s hard to imagine or understand the feelings of confusion or isolation that come when a young son says he’s really a girl or a daughter swears she’s a boy trapped in the wrong body. In the new book “Transitions of the Heart,” edited by Rachel Pepper, mothers faced with those dilemmas share how they cope.

(Image courtesy Cleis Press)

Even though it’s a problem most parents never face, it’s interesting to hear how those who have addressed it. Several say it involved a transition for both the child and parent. They write of gradually realizing their daughter isn’t just a tomboy or their son wasn’t “just going through a phase.” More than one mother admits that she knew her child was different when she was firmly corrected on pronouns and clothing choice.

Many women felt relief and were astonished when they realized that as their children were allowed to openly express their true genders, they were seeing their sons or daughters happy for the first time. As the stories unfold, it’s especially poignant when this joy has followed suicide attempts.

Still, it’s “a process.” More than one mother has hoped her child might have a change of heart. There are rants in this book, heartbreak and pain. There are moms who can’t believe this happened and in some cases, it happened more than once in the same immediate family.

And yet, most of the women in this book admit that they’ve come to respect their children and the difficult things they’ve done. For one mom, he’s “someone I would not have missed knowing for anything in the world.”

And from another, to her child: “… I’ll always love you.”

Sometimes, the “T” in “LGBT” seems to hide behind its fellow letters. Your friends and family might not even know what it stands for, but “Transitions of the Heart” explains in a gentle, celebratory way.

That’s a very useful beacon for anyone who feels isolated as their transgender child begins to embrace who (s)he is. But it’s also important, I think, that editor Rachel Pepper includes stories that aren’t so rosy mixed with the stories of acceptance and encouragement. That added a stronger, more authentic message to this book and quashed the Pollyanna-ish tone it might’ve had otherwise.

But it’s not just for parents of trans children. There are useful lessons about acceptance and unconditional love that will resonate with many parents, gay or straight.

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Theater

Out dancer on Alvin Ailey’s stint at Warner Theatre

10-day production marks kickoff of national tour

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Renaldo Maurice (Photo by Dario Calmese)


Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
Through Feb. 8
Warner Theatre
513 12th St., N.W.
Tickets start at $75
ailey.org

The legendary Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater is coming to Washington’s Warner Theatre, and one of its principal veterans couldn’t be more pleased. Out dancer Renaldo Maurice is eager to be a part of the company’s 10-day stint, the kickoff of a national tour that extends through early May. 

“I love the respectful D.C. crowd and they love us,” says Maurice, a member of esteemed modern dance company for 15 years. The traveling tour is made of two programs and different casting with Ailey’s masterwork “Revelations” in both programs.

Recently, we caught up with Maurice via phone. He called from one of the quiet rooms in his New York City gym where he’s getting his body ready for the long Ailey tour. 

Based in North Newark, N.J., where he recently bought a house, Maurice looks forward to being on the road: “I enjoy the rigorous performance schedule, classes, shows, gym, and travel. It’s all part of carving out a lane for myself and my future and what that looks like.”

Raised by a single mother of three in Gary, Ind., Maurice, 33, first saw Alvin Ailey as a young kid in the Auditorium Theatre in downtown Chicago, the same venue where he’s performed with the company as a professional dancer.

He credits his mother with his success: “She’s a real dance mom. I would not be the man or artist I am today if it weren’t for the grooming and discipline of my mom. Support and encouragement. It’s impacted my artistry and my adulthood.”

Maurice is also part of the New York Ballroom scene, an African-American and Latin underground LGBTQ+ subculture where ball attendees “walk” in a variety of categories (like “realness,” “fashion,” and “sex siren”) for big prizes. He’s known as the Legendary Overall Father of the Haus of Alpha Omega.

WASHINGTON BLADE: Like many gay men of his era, Ailey lived a largely closeted public life before his death from AIDS-related complications in 1989. 

RENALDO MAURICE Not unusual for a Black gay man born during the Depression in Rogers, Texas, who’s striving to  break out in the industry to be a creative. You want to be respected and heard. Black man, and Black man who dances, and you may be same-sex gender loving too. It was a lot, especially at that time.  

BLADE: Ailey has been described as intellectual, humble, and graceful. He possessed strength. He knew who he was and what stories he wanted to tell.

MAURICE: Definitely, he wanted to concentrate on sharing and telling stories. What kept him going was his art. Ailey wanted dancers to live their lives and express that experience on stage. That way people in the audience could connect with them. It’s incredibly powerful that you can touch people by moving your body. 

That’s partly what’s so special about “Revelations,” his longest running ballet and a fan favorite that’s part of the upcoming tour. Choreographed by Alvin Ailey in 1960, it’s a modern dance work that honors African-American cultural heritage through themes of grief, joy, and faith.

BLADE: Is “Revelation” a meaningful piece for you?

MAURICE: It’s my favorite piece. I saw it as a kid and now perform it as a professional dance artist. I’ve grown into the role since I was 20 years old. 

BLADE: How can a dancer in a prestigious company also be a ballroom house father? 

MAURICE: I’ve made it work. I learned how to navigate and separate. I’m a principal dancer with Ailey. And I take that seriously. But I’m also a house father and I take that seriously as well.  

I’m about positivity, unity, and hard work. In ballroom you compete and if you’re not good, you can get chopped. You got to work on your craft and come back harder. It’s the same with dance. 

BLADE: Any message for queer audiences? 

MAURICE: I know my queer brothers and sisters love to leave with something good. If you come to any Ailey performance you’ll be touched, your spirit will be uplifted. There’s laughter, thoughtful and tender moments. And it’s all delivered by artists who are passionate about what they do. 

BLADE: Alvin Ailey has been a huge part of your life. Thoughts on that?

MAURICE: I’m a believer in it takes a village. Hard work and discipline. I take it seriously and I love what I do. Ailey has provided me with a lot: world travel, a livelihood, and working with talented people here and internationally. Alvin Ailey has been a huge part of my life from boyhood to now. It’s been great. 

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Out & About

This queer comedy show will warm you up

Catfish Comedy to feature LGBTQ lineup

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(Promotional image via Eventbrite)

Catfish Comedy will host “2026 Queer Kickoff Show” on Thursday, Feb. 5 at A League of Her Own (2319 18th Street, N.W.). This show features D.C.’s funniest LGBTQ and femme comedians. The lineup features performers who regularly take the stage at top clubs like DC Improv and Comedy Loft, with comics who tour nationally.

Tickets are $17.85 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

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Arts & Entertainment

Catherine O’Hara, ‘Schitt’s Creek’ star and celebrated queer ally, dies at 71

Actress remembered for memorable comedic roles in ‘Beetlejuice’ and ‘Home Alone’

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(Photo courtesy of Pop TV)

Catherine O’Hara, the varied comedic actor known for memorable roles in “Beetlejuice,” “Schitt’s Creek,” and “Home Alone,” has died at 71 on Friday, according to multiple reports. No further details about her death were revealed.

O’Hara’s death comes as a shock to Hollywood, as the Emmy award-winning actor has been recently active, with roles in both “The Studio” and “The Last of Us.” For her work in those two shows, she received Emmy nominations for outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series and outstanding guest actress in a drama series.

In 2020, O’Hara won the Outstanding Lead Actress in a comedy series award for her work in the celebrated sixth and final season of “Schitt’s Creek.” She was also known as a queer ally and icon for her theatrical and often campy performances over multiple decades. In “Schitt’s Creek,” she played Moira Rose, the wig-loving mother of David Rose (played by series creator Dan Levy). David is pansexual, but the characters around him simply accept him for who he is; the show was embraced by the LGBTQ community with how naturally David’s sexuality was written and portrayed. That show ran from 2015 to 2020 and helped bring O’Hara and her co-stars into a new phase of their careers.

In a 2019 interview with the Gay Times, O’Hara explained why the show got LGBTQ representation right: “Daniel has created a world that he wants to live in, that I want to live in. It’s ridiculous that we live in a world where we don’t know how to respect each other and let each other be. It’s crazy. Other shows should follow suit and present the world and present humans as the best that we can be. It doesn’t mean you can’t laugh, that you can’t be funny in light ways and dark ways. It’s all still possible when you respect and love each other.”

Additional credits include “SCTV Network” (for which O’Hara won a writing Emmy), “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Six Feet Under,” “Best in Show,” “Home Alone 2: Lost in New York,” and “Dick Tracy.” O’Hara also lent her voice to “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” “Chicken Little,” “Monster House,” and “Elemental.” O’Hara was expected to return for Season 2 of “The Studio,” which started filming earlier this month.

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