Living
10 fab places to marry in Maryland
From mountains to shore, options galore
Marylandās gay and lesbian couples began legally marrying on Jan. 1 after the stateās marriage law was upheld in the November election. Couples all across the state are now making plans to tie the knot so weāve assembled a list of 10 fab places to either get married or to party after the ceremony.
ā¢Ā Four Seasons Baltimore. Looking for an over-the-top, luxurious place to celebrate? The brand-new Four Seasons on the Inner Harbor offers everything from sumptuous rooms to stunning views. 200 International Dr., Baltimore, 410-576-5800, fourseasons.com/baltimore
ā¢ Antrim 1844. For a quieter and more pastoral setting, Taneytownās historic Antrim 1844 offers options for all wedding party sizes. Antrim has its own wedding planners on staff who will assist with everything from menus to flowers to stemware. The mansion sits on 25 acres dotted with rose gardens and plenty of romantic spots to say āI do.ā 30 Trevanion Rd., Taneytown, 410-756-6812, antrim1844.com/weddings
ā¢ Black Walnut Point Inn. This stunning gay-owned inn sits on its own private island. The owners were the second same-sex couple to apply for a marriage license in Talbot County and hosted a group of couples for a marriage ceremony on Jan. 1. You can get married on the Great Lawn with endless water views and the inn will connect couples with local caterers and work to accommodate all budgets. The inn sits on a secluded point about 90 minutes from the Bay Bridge on the Eastern Shore. 4417 Black Walnut Point Rd., Tilghman Island, 410-886-2452, blackwalnutpointinn.com
ā¢Ā Hotel Monaco Baltimore.Ā The Monaco is part of the LGBT-supportive Kimpton Hotel chain and housed inside the historic former Baltimore & Ohio Railroad Headquarters downtown within walking distance of the harbor. The dramatic Beaux Arts style dĆ©cor includes grand marble staircases, Tiffany stained glass windows and crystal chandeliers. The Monaco offers convenient wedding packages that include cocktail hour, dinner, Champagne toast, dining, dancing and more. 2 N. Charles St., Baltimore, 443-692-6170, monaco-baltimore.com
ā¢ Volt. When considering venues and destinations for your Maryland wedding, donāt overlook beautiful downtown Frederick with its quaint setting, mountain views and historic Market Street area lined with restaurants and shops. Perhaps the best-known restaurant here is Volt, which hosts private events overseen by a dedicated staff coordinator. From elegant to relaxed, Volt makes for a memorable event and offers award-winning farm-to-table cuisine from Chef Bryan Voltaggio, who was a prominent donor to the Maryland marriage equality cause. 228 N. Market St., Frederick, 301-696-VOLT, voltrestaurant.com
ā¢ American Visionary Art Museum. If quirky is more your style, then a Baltimore wedding may be for you and the American Visionary Art Museum is among the quirkier places to wed. Known as the national repository for works by self-taught artists, AVAM has earned an international reputation for its award-winning exhibits and architecture. AVAM is located in Federal Hill and convenient to downtown and can accommodate intimate dinner parties and large receptions in multiple banquet rooms. The coolest space is probably AVAMās Sculpture Barn housed in an adjacent building that holds 125 for a seated dinner. A larger third floor banquet room can accommodate 400 guests. 800 Key Highway, Baltimore, 410-244-1900, avam.orgĀ
ā¢ Strathmore. Located in Bethesda, the Mansion at Strathmore offers on-site chefs, kitchen and staff. The hilltop Mansion holds 150 for a seated dinner and the space is spectacular with Palladian windows, a grand staircase and chandeliers. The grounds are equally stunning with 100-year-old trees and manicured lawns ā all within short distance of the Beltway. 10701 Rockville Pike, North Bethesda, 301-581-5255, strathmore.org
ā¢ Metropolitan Community Churches. Marriage isnāt all parties and DJs ā some couples, of course, want as traditional as possible a wedding day and thatās where Metropolitan Community Churches comes in. Maryland is lucky to have a handful of MCC locations, including Baltimore, Boyds, College Park and Hagerstown. MCC āproclaims Godās inclusive love for all people,ā according to its vision statement. Learn more and find contact information for all the Maryland churches at mccchurch.org.
ā¢ Westin Annapolis. Why not tie the knot in the city where lawmakers voted to make it legal? Annapolis is a historic, picturesque waterfront town and although there isnāt a gay scene in the Dupont Circle sense, there are plenty of gay-friendly places to hold a wedding and/or reception. One of them is the Westin Annapolis, which offers world-class amenities, luxury rooms, spa services, indoor pool and more, including spaces for wedding parties large or more intimate. There are banquet and catering menus available for review online. 100 Westgate Circle, Annapolis, 410-972-4300, westinannapolis.com
ā¢ Married at sea. Maryland has a long and deep association with the Chesapeake Bay so what better way to honor those seafaring traditions than a ceremony aboard a sailboat? The Selina II is a historic 1926 yacht that provides an unforgettable setting for a wedding. The Selina II departs from quaint St. Michaelās with room for six aboard or many more for a dockside service. Staff will create a āpersonalized nautical event to treasureā and Captain Iris Clarke happens to be an ordained minister. Visit sailselina.com for more information and costs.
Real Estate
Avoiding the basement blahs
Renovating a lower level can add significant value to your home
Sadly, we have waved goodbye to summer and are now slowly shifting from enjoying outdoor activities to things we can do indoors. If you are lucky enough to have a basement, renovating it into livable space can be a great winter project to dramatically increase the functionality and value of your home.
Basements come with unique challenges due to their location below ground level, and overlooking critical aspects can lead to long-term problems. They are particularly vulnerable to dampness. Failure to address moisture can lead to mold growth, structural damage, and health hazards.
To tackle moisture control, start by checking for water leaks or seepage through the walls and floor. If moisture is present, you may need to apply waterproofing solutions to the exterior or interior walls of your home. Installing a vapor barrier is advisable to prevent condensation from damaging insulation and walls.
Make sure the basement has proper drainage systems, such as a sump pump and foundation drainage. The sump pump can remove water that collects around the foundation, while an effective drainage system redirects water away from the home. Installing a dehumidifier can also help.
Basements also tend to be colder than the rest of the house. Proper insulation in the walls and floor helps regulate temperature, reducing heating costs in winter and maintaining a cool, comfortable, and energy efficient environment in summer. Insulating the ceiling can reduce noise transfer between the basement and the upper floors, making the space quieter and more private.
Before any significant work begins, it’s crucial to assess the basement’s structural integrity. This includes checking the foundation for cracks or signs of shifting, which could indicate a bigger problem, particular with the plethora of old houses in the area.
If you notice any large cracks or signs of movement, consult a structural engineer or foundation expert to determine whether repairs are needed. Small cracks can be sealed, but larger ones may require reinforcement or more extensive foundation work.
Depending on local building codes, you may need to install egress windows if you are adding bedrooms or turning the basement into a rental unit. Egress windows provide an escape route in case of emergencies and allow more natural light to enter the space, making it feel more welcoming.
When adding a bathroom or kitchen, youāll find that installing plumbing in a basement can be more challenging because of the need to pump wastewater upwards. You may need a macerating toilet system or a sewage ejector pump to manage this. I learned this the first time I found that, contrary to what we have been told, water can indeed travel up.
Adding more outlets, lighting, appliances, and ventilation systems may necessitate electrical upgrades. Since basements are often unfinished, you may have exposed wiring, which should be properly enclosed or rerouted to meet code. Depending on the scope of the renovation, you might need to upgrade your homeās electrical panel to handle the increased demand.
Proper ventilation is often overlooked in basement renovations but is essential for maintaining air quality and preventing the buildup of stale air or harmful gases. Installing mechanical ventilation, such as an HRV (Heat Recovery Ventilator) or an ERV (Energy Recovery Ventilator), can help ensure a consistent flow of fresh air in the basement.
Radon, a naturally occurring radioactive gas, can enter homes through cracks in the foundation. Since radon exposure is a leading cause of lung cancer, itās wise to test for it before beginning the renovation. If elevated levels are detected, you may need to install a mitigation system.
Once the technical aspects are addressed, focus on creating a functional and aesthetically pleasing layout. The design of your basement will depend on how you plan to use the space, whether itās a guest room, home theater, office, workout area, or game room.
Since natural light is limited in basements, it is important to plan your lighting carefully. Recessed lighting is a popular choice because it doesnāt take up ceiling space, but you should also consider adding floor lamps and sconces to make the space feel brighter and more inviting.
Choose flooring that can withstand moisture, such as vinyl planks, tile, or sealed concrete. Since basements can double as storage areas, consider incorporating built-in shelving, closets, or under-stair storage to maximize the available space.
Whether doing it yourself or hiring professionals, renovating a basement is a rewarding project that can add significant value to your home, but it comes with challenges. From moisture control and insulation to plumbing and air quality, careful planning is crucial to ensure a comfortable, functional, and safe space to enjoy indoor hobbies and emerge from winter free from the Basement Blahs.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in DC, MD & VA with RLAH Real Estate / @properties. Call or text her at (202) 246-8602, email her at DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.Ā
Hi Michael,
Iāve been best friends with Chris since we were kids. Weāre both gay and both wound up in D.C. after college. And we’re roommates.
The trouble started about a year and a half ago. Chris, who has always liked working out, started getting absorbed in bodybuilding.
He started spending hours a day working out and all these weird powders and supplements started piling up in the kitchen.
Chris became obsessed with building muscle. When he told me he was trying steroids, I told him that was a bad idea but he told me he was doing it under medical supervision and I shouldnāt worry.
In recent months heās a changed person. Heās short with me a lot, angers easily. He got into a few screaming matches with Matthew, his boyfriend, that I overheard. He sounded paranoid and out-of-control. Guess what? Matthew walked out on him.
Iām not proud but I did a little snooping (basically looked in his bathroom) – and the stuff was everywhere.
Last week he lost his job. He wouldnāt tell me why but I am pretty sure itās due to his increasingly weird and angry behavior. I told him thatāand told him that I know heās using a lot more than he should (is any amount OK?)āand he majorly blew up at me. Now heās not talking to me and he texted me I should move out and not wait until our lease is up.
I donāt know what to do. I love Chris deeplyābut it seems like the guy Iāve known for 20 years is gone and has been replaced by a mean paranoid guy who is driving his life off a cliff.
Iām wondering about letting his parents know. Iāve known them since childhood and Iām hoping they can talk some sense into him. Or an intervention with all his friends (none of whom he is speaking to anymore for one reason or another, but the real reason is his crazy behavior). Maybe we could confront him and get him to stop.
But Iām not sure what the right thing to do is and donāt want to alienate him completely. Any thoughts or ideas for a good strategy?
Michael replies:
Iām sorry, I know itās excruciating to watch someone you love struggle with addiction. I donāt think you can get Chris to stop or moderate his use.
You have shared your concerns with Chris, and heās blown up at you. This is not a guy who wants to look at his life choices critically.
You could tell his parents, but you have to weigh the risks versus benefits. Maybe they would be able to influence Chris to cut back on his steroid use. Or maybe heād just cut himself off from them as well, further deepening his isolation, and perhaps leading to his being even less tethered to reality.
I would make similar points about an intervention: Sometimes they have a positive impact on the person who is being confronted. Sometimes they donāt do much except rile the person up, and lead him or her to dig further into denial and isolation.
My own experience is that interventions have a greater chance of being helpful when the person can acknowledge the unmanageability of the addiction and is willing to try something different. Chris doesnāt sound like he is anywhere near that point.
Simply put, thereās no easy fix to this, because only Chris gets to decide how he wants to live his life, even if his choices are ruinous.
Hereās what you can do:
First, if Chris starts talking to you again, be supportive without being enabling. This means not criticizing him or telling him what to do; letting him know that you care about him and are there to help if he wants help; not joining him in minimizing the seriousness of his situation; and having a boundary when necessary.
For example:
If there are times when he is pleasant to be with, enjoy them.
If heās snapping at you for no reason, you can say āhey, itās not fun to be with you when youāre like thisāIāll see you later.ā
If heās lamenting his job loss, you might reply, āIām sorry you lost your jobāand Iām sure you could take steps to succeed in another job.ā
If he attempts to start an argument with you about how his steroid use is not a problem, or that youāre blowing it out of proportion, donāt join the argument. āSorry, I see it differently, and Iām not going to argue with you about this.ā
If he continues to not speak to you, you can still continue to reach out to him now-and-then, in ways that donāt require him to respond, to let him know you that youāll be there for him if he needs help at some point.
One more thing you can do is get some support for yourself. This is a tough situation for you as well. Itās easy for someone in your situation to feel like youāre doing the wrong thing, no matter what you do.
Iād suggest that you attend at least a few Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is a support fellowship for people whose loved ones are struggling with addiction. Youāll get support in recognizing that there really are limits to what you can do; in setting a boundary when you need to; and in knowing that you are not alone.
Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online atĀ michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it toĀ [email protected].
As interest rates begin to cool off for the first time in a few years, prospective āfirst time homebuyersā may have their wheels spinning again about whether itās a good idea to buy a home. Still, the idea of home ownership may feel out of reach for some; historically, the prevalence of homeowners has been low in certain subsets of the population. It wasnāt until the 1900ās that laws were enacted to grant women and people of color equal access to property ownership:
1968: The Fair Housing Act prohibited discrimination in home buying, homeownership, and rental real estate based on sex, race, religion, and other protected classes.
1974: The Equal Credit Opportunity Act (ECOA) prohibited discrimination in consumer credit practices based on sex, marital status, and other factors. This made it easier for women to buy homes by allowing them to apply for loans and credit without a male co-signer.
Even with these laws in place, socioeconomic disparities and lack of access to generational wealth have slowed progress in this area. Generational wealth occurs when resources are passed on to family members when the family homeowner or the head of household passes away. In areas like D.C. this type of asset can be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, and can be used to pay off student loans, help younger members of the family purchase their first or second homes wherever they live, or be invested in other ways.
While this may have been the key to buying property in the past, people today are pursuing homeownership for themselves and their own means ā especially women. Many real estate agents in the D.C. metro area can testify that they are working with individuals who are the first in their family ā and often the first woman in their family ā to buy a home. The days of waiting until marriage to invest in property are slipping away; these days people marry later, may not stay married, or may choose not to marry at all. āI didnāt consider buying a home at first, because I didnāt really see myself as a ātypicalā homeowner; I was single and wasnāt sitting on a stockpile of cash,ā says Jordyn White, a D.C. resident who bought her first home at 29. āA trusted friend encouraged me to explore first-time homebuyer programs, and Iām glad I did. My monthly mortgage payment is similar to what I would likely pay to rent in the same area, and now I have created a path to generational wealth for my children.ā
The rates of homeownership for people of color and women are steadily rising. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey using 2022 census data found that single women owned 58 percent of the nearly 35.2 million homes owned by unmarried Americans, while single men owned 42 percent. Single homeowners have peace of mind in knowing that they own assets by themselves.
Compass real estate agent Katri Hunter has helped many of her clients buy their first home. She reports, āI find more and more that I have single clients that approach me in their early/mid-30’s and say that they thought they would be buying their first property with a significant other and then decided to take things into their own hands ā¦ I tell people all the time to consult an estate planner when and if they do decide to get married to discuss pre-marital assets and keeping those in their own name. I think people really take more pride and ownership buying property on their own rather than something they dread.ā
Katri Hunter can be reached at [email protected]. JosephĀ Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals.Ā He can be reached at 703-587-0597 orĀ [email protected]