a&e features
Young and proud
20 youths reflect on coming out early and misconceptions about millennials
(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Youth Pride will be here soon. LGBT young people from all over the D.C. area will spend Saturday, May 2 from noon-5 p.m. in Dupont Circle enjoying performances, games, speakers, testimonials and more (details at youthpridealliance.org).
To celebrate this year’s event, Washington Blade staff teamed up with SMYAL to profile 20 local youths 20 and under. Their perspectives encompass the full range of queer teen experience from bullying and harassment to acceptance and joy.
Carolyn Kidd (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Carolyn Kidd
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: Maryland
ID AS: genderqueer/queer
CAME OUT: senior year of high school
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
The reaction of my peers has mostly been positive. However when I attended Duquesne University, a Catholic university in Pittsburgh, I experienced bigotry and “aversion” to “the gay lifestyle.” At St. Mary’s College of Maryland, I experienced a kind of gay euphoria and was accepted … and was able to start a club for trans students.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends reacted positively, however my parents were concerned about how being out would impact my future.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
There have been no overt downsides to being out, but hearing people openly badmouth the LGBT community is hard.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest is constantly being misgendered whether it’s being called “sir,” “young lady” or using the wrong pronouns.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That trans people are cross dressers and confused. Trans folks are often excluded.
Jason Adle (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Jason Adle
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Gaithersburg, Md.
ID AS: gay
CAME OUT: 2010-ish
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
The reaction at school has been neutral at worst and encouraging at best. For the most part, encouraging and supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
By and large, supportive and positive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The main benefit is that there is no stress to not be yourself. You can be you to the Nth degree.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The worst part is having to deal with those who you did not want to know your identity at a certain time. But on the flip side, it is absolutely great not having to feel trapped in being something you’re not.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. It was a great time to hang out with friends and meet new people and learn about/interact with organizations that were helping further the cause.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think the biggest disconnect is how aware Millennials appear to be in regard to LGBT history. We may not have lived in certain parts of LGBT history, but we are well aware of the events that have led to today.
Azariah Kurlantzick (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key.
NAME: Azariah Kurlantzick
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Potomac, Md.
ID AS: queer/trans boy
CAME OUT: May 2011 as bi (in seventh grade); summer 2012 as transgender, just before ninth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
When I first came out as bi, I was attending a Jewish day school so it was sometimes weird for me when taking part in class discussions on whether homosexuality is a sin, but reactions were generally fine. I was still at that school when I came out as transgender and I did encounter some people who refused to use my new name and pronouns, but with the help of Keshet, a Jewish LGBT organization, I was met with support.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends have been very accepting and although my Jewish community had a bad reaction initially, it has become more positive. Now that I’m attending public school for the first time in 11th grade, I hear a lot of homophobic slurs directed at me in class and in the halls, but whenever I talk to people, they seem accepting.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
A big benefit of being out is that I feel more comfortable now exploring my gender presentation. Before, I felt the need to present as very masculine so that people might read me as a girl. Now, though, I feel more comfortable doing things like dying my hair pink because I can assume that most people do not see me as a girl.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best part is that I am now part of a wonderful community that I wouldn’t have access to were I still in the closet.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
It was a good event, but adults there kept referring to the trans people I was with as ladies.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That there are fewer of us than there actually are and that all of us are cisgender.
Carly Carter (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Carly Carter
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Herndon, Va.
ID AS: lesbian/queer
CAME OUT: March 26, 2014
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Not a huge one. People were surprised but otherwise I didn’t get a lot of response. Occasionally, I hear a mean comment, but usually people are really supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends are great! I could not have picked better friends. Most of us are queer actually, so that works out great. My mom and dad are still adjusting. … they have overall been crazy supportive. Not a mean word has ever come out of their mouths.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Getting to be more open and honest with people is a huge plus. Also meeting a bunch of queer friends whom I love being in touch with. I would never have met them had I not been out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
There are challenges with everything — being out is not an exception.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I didn’t know about it.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we have it easy or that the hardships they had to face are gone now.
Autumn Smith (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Autumn Smith
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: male
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
That I was “cool for being a gay guy” except when I wore women’s jewelry.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family doesn’t talk about it. Friends are cool and it’s all good until I wear a dress.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Oh yes!
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Harassment, weird looks.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! It was amazing as always.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That our struggles can’t compare with theirs.
LC (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: LC (Lauren Collins)
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Herndon, Va.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: eighth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Mixed — positive from close friends, but neutral to negative from the student body.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Mom has come around and is supportive now. Dad said a couple insensitive things but he’s always supported me. My church and community are pretty OK with it.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Being able to interact with openly queer friends and being able to share my relationships publicly. Downsides are backlash at school and it’s harder to fly under the radar.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Feeling like a representative for all queer people.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
N/A
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we’re just “confused” or saying we’re queer or trans just because it’s “trendy.”
Katie Barack (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Katie Barack
AGE: 19
RESIDENCE: McLean, Va.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: April 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I’ve been accepted by the community as someone who could fall in love with someone of any gender. However, I go to a “same-sex” boarding school, so all of my gender questioning has been pretty private. I’ve had to give a lot of advice to underclassmen. I love the leadership role and being the only out student has made me find an incredible community.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family is very supportive. While my friends at school are supportive, my friends from home in the Midwest can be very ignorant and tend to make me feel “other.”
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I feel excluded often and school dances are awkward. In my tux, I’m called “sharp” while all the other students in dresses are called “gorgeous.”
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
I’ve found a community I would never trade. I love finding other queer people. Questioning my gender is something I’ve only recently come out about. It sucks that my high school diploma probably won’t have the name I use on it. I wish I could use the right pronouns and name, but I’m at an all-girls school. I’ve had to work my ass off to get us to be aware of transgender students and the need for accommodating policies.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
Transgender people are viewed as outsiders of the community by the older generation. Cultural intersectionality is ignored.
Lia Warner (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Lia Warner
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Chesapeake, Va.
ID AS: lesbian
CAME OUT: 14
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I was really lucky to be a member of a very accepting track and cross-country team, so in the locker room, I felt a lot safer than I anticipated. But I still heard homophobic slurs and comments elsewhere at school.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My parents have been overwhelmingly supportive as have my friends. Many members of the community as well, but that’s not to say it’s been 100 percent positive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
A benefit would be, of course, the ability to be myself and be true to my identity with those I love. The downside, where I live is overwhelmingly homophobic and discriminatory.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest — when people look at me in a different and negative light. The best — my ability to be myself publicly and help others in my GSA.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I did not know about SMYAL or that event. I did go to Hampton Roads Pride, which was fabulous.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
They believe this is a phase or that we’re somehow a mistake.
Rico Jones (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Rico Jones
AGE: 15
RESIDENCE: none given
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: This year
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Mixed — happiness from some who were proud of me, but also a lot of bullying most of the time. I’ve been called a lot of names and picked on by many others.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends were all by my side and have wished me happiness and the best of luck.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Benefits: happy to have found myself in so many ways, love and freedom. Downsides: bullying.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Bullying and the feeling that people think because you’re gay, you think you deserve special rights or treatment.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I wish I had.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
Being myself and being free and showing other people that we can be the change.
Sasha Jarvis (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Sasha Jarvis
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Derwood, Md.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: ninth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Neutral
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
I’ve had a pretty positive reaction. The first person I came out to was my friend Kathryn and it felt so nice until she decided she had to tell her mom. So that was super uncomfortable because I wasn’t even out to my own parents. My favorite thing was when I casually dropped the word “girlfriend” without getting any kind of extreme response. That was affirming.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I haven’t really felt any downsides personally but it is rewarding to not be sitting quietly and letting homophobes slide out of fear of judgment.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
It’s annoying to hear hetero-normative language from people close to me. Like hearing my mom say my sisters and I should live alone or with a girlfriend (as in a female friend) before getting married. It hurts to not have my identity respected, even in small ways.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! I love being able to share my queer community life with my school friends.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think the biggest misconception is that we’re all just following trends.
Gavin Calvin (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Gavin Calvin
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Clarksburg, Md.
ID AS: transgender
CAME OUT: 8th grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Very supportive and loving.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
They were not surprised and supported me fully.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Strangers not understanding my choices and judging.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
I’m more comfortable around my peers and am happier living as who I truly am.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
(My generation) seems to think LGBT Boomers are reckless and carefree. My experience with Gen. Xers is that they think how we are is a choice and is wrong.
Erika Johnson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Erika Johnson
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Clinton, Md.
ID AS: lesbian
CAME OUT: 9th grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I received a pretty positive reaction from my friends and teachers. A lot of my friends were shocked and surprised but very supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family on the other hand, doesn’t really understand. Most of them don’t know I’m out, but the few I trust fully support.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The benefit of being out is that there are so many people I can relate to on a personal level. Being out has given me the spunk to go forth with my advocacy. The downside of being out is that not a lot of people fully understand my new points. Coming out in the ninth grade has been very stressful because I still feel like I’m hiding.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest part about being out is that it is hard trying to express myself in front of people. I’m partially in the closet and partially not. The best part is that I can come to SMYAL and feel like the true me. SMYAL has made this process 100 percent easier. There are still some obstacles I have to get over, but I am a strong woman who can do anything.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! It was amazing. It was a pleasure meeting more SMYAL folks and getting to learn about queer youth experiences.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we spend too much time “complaining” about what we need when we are really just speaking the truth.
Selvi Ulusan (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Selvi Ulusan
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Bethesda, Md.
ID AS: queer/bi
CAME OUT: June 20, 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Surprise mostly. I don’t think everyone knows quite yet actually. I don’t tell everyone I meet automatically but if anyone asks, I tell them the truth.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends were very supportive. My family kind of already saw it coming but my little sister was great. So nice!
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Benefits: I am who I am and people knowing doesn’t change that, but they just know a little bit more about me. Downsides: there was a lot of “are you sure?” or just “weirded out” reactions. Some people just didn’t believe me, but that’s not my problem.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Hardest: That I feel like I have to keep coming out every time I tell someone else. Best is letting people know a little more of who I am.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I have been to the Capital Pride parade and festival the last two years, but not Youth Pride. The first year I went to Pride, it was amazing. I met a girl who made all of my unanswered questions about myself incredibly clear.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That it’s just a choice or just how you feel and that you can only be attracted to one gender.
Temitayo Wolff (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Temitayo Wolff
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: queer girl (panromantic, grey-asexual)
CAME OUT: beginning of 11th grade/end of 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Within a specific community, I’ve received so much love and support. My friend group is super gay. I haven’t received much open hostility. Some people have a lot of questions.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My mom wishes I would stop saying words like “pansexual,” which she never heard. I think she accepts my identity even though it doesn’t make sense to her. My dad is also a little confused but he is supportive of my identity, activism and presentation. I have a much younger sister and I think coming out has made her more accepting and socially aware.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I’ve been really lucky to experience more benefits than downsides when I came out. Coming out provided me with a community of really supportive queer friends online and in D.C. The main downside is tension with my mother.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best — my queer-platonic partner and my girlfriend.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did attend and had a lot of fun. I appreciate Youth Pride as a space that doesn’t have alcohol and nearly as many people as Capital Pride. However a lot of my friends were consistently misgendered both by peers and by adults who were running the programs, which was disappointing that an event that is supposed to be safe for trans people makes assumptions about people’s gender and reinforces that non-existent binary.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think older folks feel like we are undermining a lot of the work they did with our own activism. When we use social media as a platform for advocacy, they think we are being lazy or unproductive. When we reclaim “queer” as a self-identifier, they think we are disrespecting their struggle to eliminate the use of that word. When we advocate for lesser-known identities like asexuality, pansexuality and non-binary genders, they think we are just making up new words and new forms of oppression when they fought so hard just for basic recognition of the L, G, B and T. I think older LGBTQ folks need to recognize that queer young people of color exist.
NAME: Lance M. Coates III (Lacyy Coates)
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: trans woman, early transition stage
CAME OUT: 16
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I have received mixed reactions at various schools.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends have been supportive while the community as a whole has been very hostile to the point of gay bashing.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I have become more inspired to live my life openly by the girls at Casa Ruby.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Being able to be myself is the best part.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes, it was a very happy experience.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
They don’t really interact with us or teach us the ways.
Ebony Rempson (Photo courtesy of Ebony Rempson)
NAME: Ebony Rempson
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: 2009
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
In high school, it varied from shock and disgust to understanding.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
I had problems with my family at first, especially since I was outed by a family member but things got better. My friends have always been loving. Communities that I’ve found myself a part of have been great support systems and always served as places where I could seek validation.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I wouldn’t have had a chance to grow the way I did and share my unique story with people had I not been out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest part about being out as queer has been knowing that there is a third strike against me in the heteronormative and patriarchal society, strikes one and two being black and a woman.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes and it’s always positive. There’s nothing better than a sense of community.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we’re lazy and self absorbed.
NAME: Shantel Jordan
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: queer/trans
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
My close friends were very supportive. Some other students didn’t understand and made some pretty harsh comments.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Family was mixed — they were upset at first, but are now mostly supportive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The big benefit is being able to be myself. It’s very refreshing not to have to hide.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Hearing from people that God doesn’t like gay people. That was hard.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. I enjoyed it.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we just want to play on our phones and aren’t really serious about anything.
NAME: James Rosenstein
AGE: 15
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: 2014
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I had a number of people ask if I really thought I was gay or if it was a phase but most of my friends were great. They really accept me for me.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family has been really great. They wanted to talk a lot when I first told them, but they have always been very supportive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I get some comments from other students from time to time, but I’d still rather be out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Being able to be honest with my friends and parents.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. I liked it but I couldn’t stay for the entire thing.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That young people don’t want to be active in church. I am very active in my church but I understand that many LGBTQ young people don’t want to be.
NAME: Chance
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: gender queer
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Some people said I was the first queer person they had met. Some said they weren’t sure what queer was so I had to spend some time talking to people in my school. I don’t know if everyone was OK with the answer but most people seemed to be open-minded.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Most of my family is OK with it. I know I have some people who don’t like the fact that I’m not straight, but I’m OK with that.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The only downside has been hearing from friends that other people don’t want to hang out with me. That really sucks, but I’m still glad I came out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best part has been my relationship with my girlfriend. I don’t think we would be together if I wasn’t out.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did not.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I would say that some older people don’t really understand LGBTQ young people. I’ve had older people ask why I want to be called queer.
NAME: Maya Parker
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: freshman year of high school
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I wasn’t accepted at first as I was one of the first in my high school to come out. I got made fun of mainly by the boys. I figured they were jealous. It somehow was an inspiration to the other girls in the school as they began to come out as well.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family pretty much thought of it as a phase. I guess they have swept it under the rug. My friends didn’t like it too well. They started acting uncomfortable around me and not wanting to get dressed in front of me. People heard bisexual and figured I was looking at every woman that would walk past me. My community didn’t react much as I’m more on the feminine side. I’ve only really gotten reaction by my community if I was seen with a more dominant female.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I actually get to be myself. It gives me a sort of confidence where I can walk outside with my head high without feeling like I have a dark secret.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
People thinking you’re “playing both sides of the fence.” It’s hard to get a woman to understand that you’re serious about her when she knows you like men and with men, they can’t seem to get the thought of two women and themselves out of their heads.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
a&e features
Meet D.C.’s Most Eligible Queer Singles
Our annual report, just in time for Valentine’s Day
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, the Blade is happy to present our annual Most Eligible Singles issue. The Singles were chosen by you, our readers, in an online nominations process.
John Marsh
Age: 35
Occupation: DJ and Drag Entertainer
How do you identify? Male
What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s ready to dive into life’s adventures with me. someone independent and building their own successes, but equally open to supporting each other’s dreams along the way. I know that probably sounds simple because, honestly, who isn’t looking for that? But my life and career keep me very social and busy, so it’s important to me to build trust with someone who understands that. I want a partner who knows that even when life gets hectic or I’m getting a lot of attention through my work in the community, it doesn’t take away from my desire to build something real, intentional, and meaningful with the right person.
Biggest turn off: My biggest turnoff is arrogance or judgment toward others. I’m most drawn to people who are comfortable being themselves and who treat everyone with the same level of respect and care. I’ve worked hard for the success I’ve found, but I believe in staying humble and leading with kindness, and I’m attracted to people who live the same way. I’m also turned off by exclusionary mindsets, especially the idea that sapphic folks don’t belong in gay spaces. Our community is vibrant, diverse, and strongest when it’s shared with everyone who shows up with respect and love
Biggest turn on: I’m drawn to people who can confidently walk into new spaces and create connection. Being able to read a room and make others feel comfortable shows emotional intelligence and empathy, which I find incredibly attractive. I also come from a very social, open, and welcoming family environment, so being with someone who embraces community and enjoys bringing people together is really important to me.
Hobbies: I have a lot of hobbies and love staying creative and curious. I’m a great cook, so you’ll never have to worry about going hungry around me. In my downtime, I watch a lot of anime and I will absolutely talk your ear off about my favorites if you let me. I’m also a huge music fan and K-pop lover (listen to XG!), and I’m a musician who plays the cello. I spend a lot of time sewing as well, which is a big part of my creative expression. My hobbies can be a little all over the place, but I just genuinely love learning new skills and trying new things whenever I can.
What is your biggest goal for 2026? This year feels like a huge milestone for me. I’m getting ready to join a tour this summer and want to represent myself well while building meaningful connections in every city I perform in. I’m also focused on growing as a DJ, sharing more mixes and content online, and reaching a big creative goal of releasing original music that I’m producing.
Pets, Kids or Neither? I have a lovely Akita named Grady that I’ve had for 10 years and always want pets in my life. I’m open to kids when/if the time is right with the right person.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Hell no. I don’t see political differences as just policy disagreements anymore – they often reflect deeper values about how we treat people and support our communities. I’m very progressive in my beliefs, and I’m looking for a partner who shares that mindset. For me, alignment in values like equity, compassion, and social responsibility is non-negotiable in a relationship. To be very clear about my beliefs, I’m outspoken about my opposition to immigration enforcement systems like ICE and believe both political parties have contributed to policies that have caused real harm to vulnerable communities. I’m also deeply disturbed by the ongoing violence in Palestine and believe we need to seriously examine our support of military actions that have resulted in the loss of countless innocent lives. These aren’t abstract political opinions for me, they are moral issues that directly inform who I am and what I stand for.
Celebrity crush: Cocona
Name one obscure fact about yourself: I used to own a catering business in college that paid for my school — I also went to a Christian college, lol.
Jackie Zais
Age: 35
Occupation: Senior director at nonprofit
How do you identify? Lesbian woman
What are you looking for in a mate? Looking for someone who’s curious about the world and the people in it — the kind of person who’s down to explore a new spot one night and stay in with takeout the next. Confident in who they are, social without being exhausting, adventurous but grounded, thoughtful but not pretentious. Someone who can be funny while still taking life (and relationships) seriously.
Biggest turn off: Doesn’t have strong opinions. I love hearing a wild hot take.
Biggest turn on: When someone can make me belly laugh.
Hobbies: Number one will always be yapping with friends over food, but I also love collecting new hobbies. Currently, I crochet (and have some dapper sweater vests as a result), listen to audiobooks on what I personally think is a normal speed (2x) and play soccer and pickleball. But I’ve tried embroidery, papier-mâché, collaging, collecting plants, scrap booking, and mosaic.
What is your biggest goal for 2026? I’ve recently started swimming and I want to look less like a flailing fish and more like someone who knows what they’re doing.
Pets, Kids or Neither? I have neither but open to kids
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? My best friend is a moderate Democrat and that’s as far right as I’m willing to go.
Celebrity crush: Tobin Heath
Name one obscure fact about yourself: I’m the daughter of Little Miss North Quincy 1967.
Kevin Schultz
Age: 39
Occupation: Product manager
How do you identify? Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? You know 2001’s hottest Janet Jackson single, “Someone to Call My Lover?” To quote Janet, “Maybe, we’ll meet at a bar, He’ll drive a funky car; Maybe, we’ll meet at a club, And fall so deeply in love.”
Realistically though, I’d love to find someone who loves to walk everywhere and who avoids the club because it’s too loud and crowded. Later in the song, our songstress opines “My, my, looking for a guy, guy, I don’t want him too shy; But he’s gotta have the qualities, That I like in a man: Strong, smart, affectionate” and I’m quite aligned there – I’m an introvert looking for someone more extroverted.
I’m looking for someone who is different from me. When the math works, one plus one should equal two. Two becoming one is more art, and my relational approach is more science, or, I guess, math.
Biggest turn off: I’m turned off by a lot of superficially small things — chewing with one’s mouth open, dirty or untrimmed fingernails, oh, and also, lack of self awareness. My personal brand of anxiety is hyper self-aware, so I’m very turned off by someone who doesn’t realize that they exist in the world with others.
Biggest turn on: Competency. Or maybe…eyes? So perhaps, you see my conundrum — I’m very engaged by people who are deeply engaged by something, but I’d be lying if I said a sharp gaze and a wink didn’t get me. And, you know, some stamina in all avenues, mental and physical doesn’t hurt either.
Hobbies: Fixing everyone’s WiFi (this did actually get me a date once), and just generally fixing everyone’s everything. If it’s got a plug, screen, or buttons I can probably help you with it. On my own, I’m really into smart home devices and automation, and just to be timely, my latest thing is setting up and tuning my own instance of OpenClaw. (No one should actually do this, which is why I’m trying.) Together, we could also explore such hobbies as visiting every Metro station, visiting and exploring a new airport, and exploring why there are so many gay transit nerds. There’s no non-fake sounding way to say this but I also just love knowledge seeking, so I’d also love to go on an adventure with you where we learn something brand new.
What is your biggest goal for 2026? My biggest goal is to arrive to 2027 just a little better than I arrived to 2026. A few gym goals, a few personal goals, a few work goals; I hope to get a few of them across the finish line. At the risk of holding myself accountable, one of those goals is to be able to flawlessly side plank for over a minute. Please don’t mistake me for a huge gym rat; I just have a questionable relationship with balance and I’m really working on it.
Pets, Kids or Neither? I’ll just be blunt: no pets. Stating this on my Hinge profile resulted in an exponential loss of matches, so it’s very fun to trot out the idea. Primarily, I’m allergic to cats and dogs so my aversion is mostly biological. I’m not, however, allergic to kids — big fan of my various nieces and nephews — but I’d really only consider kids of my own if my chosen companion and I could financially afford them without compromise, and at this age I’ve become opinionated about the life I want to live.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No. This becomes a simpler answer with each passing day, unfortunately.
Celebrity crush: If I’m being of the moment, of course, it’s going to be one of the gentlemen on “Heated Rivalry,” but if I were to really dig into the archives it would be pre-Star Trek Chris Pine. I first saw him in an absolute train wreck of a movie called “Blind Dating” where he plays a blind guy who tries to pretend to be sighted in order to date. The movie was terrible, but I found him irresistible.
Name one obscure fact about yourself: I went suddenly deaf on one side only (my left) just before my 33rd birthday. After a bit of time in the wilderness (metaphorically) I got a cochlear implant a few years later, and it really changed my life. I will talk until someone stops me about hearing, sound, and the amazing arena of hearing loss technology. A lot of people, when they see my implant, assume I was born with hearing loss, so it’s always a bit odd (obscure even!) when I tell people I lost it as an adult. But, I also got my hearing back as an adult and am an eager advocate for assistive technology and visibility for people with disabilities that are not always immediately visible. I also work with prospective adult implant candidates to determine if an implant is right for them, because losing hearing suddenly as an adult is isolating and it’s helpful to talk to someone who’s been there.
Gabriel Acevero
Age: 35
Occupation: Maryland State Delegate
How do you identify? Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? Emotional intelligence and a sense of humor.
Biggest turn off: Fetishization.
Biggest turn on: Kindness and emotional intelligence.
Hobbies: Traveling and reading (I love books).
What is your biggest goal for 2026? More self care. I love what I do but it can also be physically taxing. In 2026, I’m prioritizing more self care.
Pets, Kids or Neither? I have neither but I’m open to both.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No.
Celebrity crush: Kofi Siriboe
Name one obscure fact about yourself: I’m a Scorpio who was raised by a Scorpio and I have many Scorpios in my life.
Vida Rangel
Age: 36
Occupation: Public Servant, Community Organizer
How do you identify? I am a queer transLatina
What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for a partner who is caring, socially aware, and passionate about meaningfully improving some part of this world we all live in. Ideally someone playful who can match my mischievous energy, will sing and dance with me whenever joy finds us, and will meet me at protests and community meetings when the moment calls for bold collective action.
Biggest turn off: Ego. Confidence can be cute, but humility is sexy.
Biggest turn on: Drive. Seeing someone put their heart into pursuing their goals is captivating. Let’s chase our dreams together!
Hobbies: Music in all its forms (karaoke, playing guitar, concerts, musicals…), finding reasons to travel to new places, and making (Mexican) tamales for friends and coworkers.
What is your biggest goal for 2026? My biggest goal for 2026 is to organize and a celebratory kiss on election night wouldn’t hurt.
Pets, Kids or Neither? An adorable black cat named Rio (short for Misterio)
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Ma’am? If you feel the need to ask…
Celebrity crush: Mi amor, Benito Bad Bunny. Zohran Mamdani, too. I have lots of love to give.
Name one obscure fact about yourself: I worked at Chick-fil-A when I was in high school and was fired after just three months. At the time it was still legal to fire someone for being trans, but I’m pretty sure it was because I called out to go to a Halloween party.
Em Moses
Age: 34
Occupation: Publishing
How do you identify? Queer
What are you looking for in a mate? Companionship, passion, fun. I seek a confident partner who inspires me, someone to laugh and dance with, someone with a rich internal universe of interests and experiences to build upon. A lifelong friend.
Biggest turn off: Dishonesty.
Biggest turn on: I love when someone is exactly themselves, nurturing their passions and skills and showing up uniquely in this world as only they can.
Hobbies: I love to read. I create art with my hands. When the weather is nice I’m outside, walking around the District looking at flowers and trees.
What is your biggest goal for 2026? My main goal this year is to spend more time with my nieces and nephews.
Pets, Kids or Neither? No pets or children in my life currently.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? While I consider myself quite openminded and genuinely enjoy learning from perspectives different from my own, I have clear boundaries around my morals and those pillars do not fall.
Celebrity crush: Luigi Mangione
Name one obscure fact about yourself: My first job was at a donut shop.
Nate Wong
Age: 41
Occupation: Strategy adviser to nonprofits and philanthropists to help ambitious ideas turn into meaningful, positive societal impact.
How do you identify? Gay (he/him)
What are you looking for in a mate? An additive partner: sociable, adventurous, and curious about the world. I’m drawn to warmth, openness, and people who show up fully — one-on-one and in community. If you enjoy a good dinner party, make eye contact, and actually talk to strangers (I know a D.C. no-no), we’ll get along just fine.
Biggest turn off: Not being present. Active listening matters to me; attention is a form of respect (and honestly, very attractive). And a picky food eater (how will we some day be joint food-critics?).
Biggest turn on: Curiosity, adventuresome spirit, and someone who can hold their own in a room — and still make others feel at ease. Confidence is best when it’s generous.
Hobbies: Splitting my time between the ceramics studio (District Clay), planning the next trip, and finding great food spots. I box to balance it all out, and I love curating small, adventurous gatherings that bring interesting people together — the kind where you stay later than planned.
What is your biggest goal for 2026? The last few years threw some curve balls. So 2026 is all about moving forward more freely and passionately, trusting what feels right and following it with intention (and joy).
Pets, Kids or Neither? Open to kids (in a variety of forms — already have some adorable god kids). A hypoallergenic dog would absolutely raise the cuddle quotient; cats are best admired from a respectful, allergy-safe distance.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I value thoughtful listening and sincere debate; shared values around the honoring of everyone’s humanity, equity, and justice matter to me and aren’t up for debate.
Celebrity crush: Bad Bunny style with Jason Momoa humble confidence (harking to my Hawaiian roots) and Idris Elba charm — range matters.
Name one obscure fact about yourself: I celebrated medical clearance by going surfing in El Salvador. I’ve also nearly been arrested in Mozambique and somehow walked away unscathed (and without complying with a bribe) — happy to explain over an excursion.
Diane D’Costa
Age: 29
Occupation: Artist + Designer
How do you identify? Queer/lesbian
What are you looking for in a mate? A cuddle buddy, a fellow jet setter, a muse! Someone to light my soul on fire (in a good way).
Biggest turn off: Apathy. I care deeply about a lot of things and need someone with a similar curiosity and zest for life.
Biggest turn on: Mutuality really does it for me — a push and pull, someone who will throw it back and also catch it. I love someone who takes initiative, shows care and compassion, and expresses fluidity and confidence.
Hobbies: You can find me throwing pottery, painting, sipping natural wine, supporting local coffee shops, and most definitely tearing up a QTBIPOC dance floor.
What is your biggest goal for 2026? Producing my first solo art show. This year I’m really leaning into actualizing all my visions and dreams and putting them out into the world.
Pets, Kids or Neither? I’ve got a Black Lab named Lennox after the one and only D.C. icon, Ari Lennox. I love supporting the youth and (made a career out of it), but don’t necessarily need to have little ones of my own.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No. Values alignment is key, but if you wanna get into the nuances of how we actualize collective liberation let’s get into it.
Celebrity crush: Queen Latifah
Name one obscure fact about yourself: I’m in the “Renaissance” movie. I know, I know slight flex… but “Crazy In Love” bottom left corner for a split second and a harsh crop, but I’m in there. “You are the visuals, baby” really hit home for me.
Donna Marie Alexander
Age: 67
Occupation: Social Worker
How do you identify? Lesbian
What are you looking for in a mate? Looking for a smart, kind, emotionally grown woman who knows who she is and is ready for real companionship. Also, great discernment and a good lesbian processor. Bonus points if you’ll watch a game with me— or at least cheer when I do. Extra bonus if you already know that women’s sports matter.
Ideal first date: Out for tea or a Lemon Drop that turns into dinner, great conversation, and a few laughs. Low drama, high warmth.
Must haves: A sense of humor, curiosity about the self, curiosity about me, and curiosity about the world. An independence, and an appreciation for loyalty—on and off the field. Dealbreaker: Anyone who thinks “it’s just a game.”
Biggest turn off: Self-centered and a lack of discernment.
Biggest turn on: Great conversation and a sense of humor.
Hobbies: Watching the Commanders game
What is your biggest goal for 2026? Self-growth and meeting an amazing friend.
Pets, Kids or Neither? I have two kids and grandkids.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No
Celebrity crush: Pam Grier
Name one obscure fact about yourself: She’s way more superstitious about game-day routines than she lets on
Joe Reberkenny
Age: 24
Occupation: Journalist
How do you identify? Gay
What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who’s driven, flexible, and independent. I’m a full-time journalist so if there’s news happening, I’ve gotta be ready to cover breaking stories. I’m looking for someone who also has drive in their respective career and is always looking to the future. I need someone who gets along with my friends. My friends and community here are so important to me and I’m looking for someone who can join me in my adventures and enjoys social situations.
Biggest turn off: Insecurity and cocky men. Guys who can’t kiki with the girls. Early bedtimes.
Biggest turn on: Traits: Emotional stability and reliability. A certain sense of safety and trust. Someone organized and open to trying new things. Physical: Taller than I am (not hard to do at 5’7″) but also a preference for hairy men (lol). Someone who can cook (I am a vegetarian/occasional pescatarian and while it’s not a requirement for me in a partner it would need to be something they can accommodate).
Hobbies: Exploring D.C. — from museums to nightlife, reading (particularly interested in queer history), dancing, frolicking, playing bartender, listening to music (preferably pop), classic movie connoisseur (TCM all the way).
What is your biggest goal for 2026? Continue my work covering LGBTQ issues related to the federal government, uplift queer voices, see mother monster (Lady Gaga) in concert.
Pets, Kids or Neither? I’ve got neither but I love a pet.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No
Celebrity crush: Pedro Pascal
Name one obscure fact about yourself: I’ve been hit by multiple cars and I have a twin sister.
a&e features
Marc Shaiman reflects on musical success stories
In new memoir, Broadway composer talks ‘Fidler,’ ‘Wiz,’ and stalking Bette Midler
If you haven’t heard the name Marc Shaiman, you’ve most likely heard his music or lyrics in one of your favorite Broadway shows or movies released in the past 50 years. From composing the Broadway scores for Hairspray and Catch Me if You Can to most recently working on Only Murders in the Building, Hocus Pocus 2, and Mary Poppins Returns, the openly queer artist has had a versatile career — one that keeps him just an Oscar away from EGOT status.
The one thing the award-winning composer, lyricist, and writer credits with launching his successful career? Showing up, time and time again. Eventually, he lucked out in finding himself at the right place at the right time, meeting industry figures like Rob Reiner, Billy Crystal, and Bette Midler, who were immediately impressed with his musical instincts on the piano.
“Put my picture under the dictionary definition for being in the right place at the right time,” Shaiman says. “What I often try to say to students is, ‘Show up. Say yes to everything.’ Because you never know who is in the back of the theater that you had no idea was going to be there. Or even when you audition and don’t get the part. My book is an endless example of dreams coming true, and a lot of these came true just because I showed up. I raised my hand. I had the chutzpah!”
Recalling one example from his memoir, titled Never Mind the Happy: Showbiz Stories from a Sore Winner ( just hit bookshelves on Jan. 27), Shaiman says he heard Midler was only hiring Los Angeles-based artists for her world tour. At the young age of 20, the New York-based Shaiman took a chance and bought the cheapest flight he could find from JFK. Once landing in L.A., he called up Midler and simply asked: “Where’s rehearsal?”
“Would I do that nowadays? I don’t know,” Shaiman admits. “But when you’re young and you’re fearless … I was just obsessed, I guess you could say. Maybe I was a stalker! Luckily, I was a stalker who had the goods to be able to co-create with her and live up to my wanting to be around.”
On the occasion of Never Mind the Happy’s official release, the Bladehad the opportunity to chat with Shaiman about his decades-spanning career. He recalls the sexual freedom of his community theater days, the first time he heard someone gleefully yell profanities during a late screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and why the late Rob Reiner was instrumental to both his career and his lasting marriage to Louis Mirabal. This interview has been edited and condensed.
BLADE: Naturally, a good place to start would be your book, “Never Mind the Happy.” What prompted you to want to tell the story of your life at this point in your career?
SHAIMAN: I had a couple of years where, if there was an anniversary of a movie or a Broadway show I co-created, I’d write about it online. People were always saying to me, “Oh my God, you should write a book!” But I see them say that to everybody. Someone says, “Oh, today my kitten knocked over the tea kettle.” “You should write a book with these hysterical stories.” So I just took it with a grain of salt when people would say that to me. But then I was listening to Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast, and Jane Fonda was on talking about her memoir — not that I’m comparing myself to a career like Jane Fonda’s — but she felt it was time to take a life review. That really stuck in my head. At the time, I was sulking or moping about something that had not gone as well as I wished. And I guess I kind of thought, “Let me look back at all these things that I have done.” Because I have done a lot. I’m just weeks short of my 50th year in show business, despite how youthful I look! I just sat down and started writing before anyone asked, as far as an actual publisher.
I started writing as a way to try to remind myself of the joyous, wonderful things that have happened, and for me not to always be so caught up on what didn’t go right. I’ve been telling some of these stories over the years, and it was really fun to sit down and not just be at a dinner party telling a story. There’s something about the written word and really figuring out the best way to tell the story and how to get across a certain person’s voice. I really enjoyed the writing. It was the editing that was the hard part!
BLADE: You recall experiences that made you fall in love with the world of theater and music, from the days you would skip class to go see a show or work in regional productions. What was it like returning to those early memories?
SHAIMAN: Wonderful. My few years of doing community theater included productions that were all kids, and many productions with adults, where I was this freaky little 12-year-old who could play show business piano beyond my years. It was just bizarre! Every time a director would introduce me to another cast of adults, they’d be like, “Are you kidding?” I’d go to the piano, and I would sightread the overture to Funny Girl, and everybody said, “Oh, OK!” Those were just joyous, wonderful years, making the kind of friends that are literally still my friends. You’re discovering musical theatre, you’re discovering new friends who have the same likes and dreams, and discovering sex. Oh my god! I lost my virginity at the opening night of Jesus Christ Superstar, so I’m all for community theater!
BLADE: What do you recall from your early experiences watching Broadway shows? Did that open everything up for you?
SHAIMAN: I don’t remember seeing Fiddler on the Roof when I was a kid, but I remember being really enthralled with this one woman’s picture in the souvenir folio — the smile on her face as she’s looking up in the pictures or looking to her father for approval. I always remember zooming in on her and being fascinated by this woman’s face: turns out it was Bette Midler. So my love for Bette Midler began even before I heard her solo records.
Pippin and The Wiz were the first Broadway musicals I saw as a young teenager who had started working in community theater and really wanted to be a part of it. I still remember Pippin with Ben Vereen and all those hands. At the time, I thought getting a seat in the front row was really cool — I’ve learned since that it only hurts your neck, but I remember sitting in the front row at The Wiz as Stephanie Mills sang Home. Oh my god, I can still see it right now. And then I saw Bette Midler in concert, finally, after idolizing her and being a crazed fan who did nothing but listen to her records, dreaming that someday I’d get to play for her. And it all came true even before I turned 18 years old. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and met one of her backup singers and became their musical director. I was brought to a Bette Midler rehearsal. I still hadn’t even turned 18, she heard me play and said, “Stick around.” And I’ve stuck around close to 55 years! She’s going to interview me in L.A. at the Academy Museum. Would I have ever thought that Bette Midler would say yes to sitting with me, interviewing me about my life and career?
BLADE: That’s amazing. Has she had a chance to read the book yet?
SHAIMAN: She read it. We just talked yesterday, and she wants to ask the right questions at the event. And she even said to me, “Marc, I wasn’t even aware of all that you’ve done.” We’ve been great friends for all these years, but sometimes months or almost years go by where you’re not completely in touch.
a&e features
D.C. LGBTQ sports bar Pitchers listed for sale
Move follows months of challenges for local businesses in wake of Trump actions
A Santa Monica, Calif.-based commercial real estate company called Zacuto Group has released a 20-page online brochure announcing the sale of the D.C. LGBTQ sports bar Pitchers and its adjoining lesbian bar A League of Her Own.
The brochure does not disclose the sale price, and Pitchers owner David Perruzza told the Washington Blade he prefers to hold off on talking about his plans to sell the business at this time.
He said the sale price will be disclosed to “those who are interested.”
“Matthew Luchs and Matt Ambrose of the Zacuto Group have been selected to exclusively market for sale Pitchers D.C., located at 2317 18th Street, NW in Washington, D.C located in the vibrant and nightlife Adams Morgan neighborhood,” the sales brochure states.
“Since opening its doors in 2018, Pitchers has quickly become the largest and most prominent LGBTQ+ bar in Washington, D.C., serving as a cornerstone of D.C.’s modern queer nightlife scene,” it says, adding, “The 10,000+ SF building designed as a large-scale inclusive LGBTQ+ sports bar and social hub, offering a welcoming environment for the entire community.”
It points out that the Pitchers building, which has two years remaining on its lease and has a five-year renewal option, is a multi-level venue that features five bar areas, “indoor and outdoor seating, and multiple patios, creating a dynamic and flexible layout that supports a wide range of events and high customer volume.”
“Pitchers D.C. is also home to A League of Her Own, the only dedicated lesbian bar in Washington, D.C., further strengthening its role as a vital and inclusive community space at a time when such venues are increasingly rare nationwide,” the brochure says.
Zacuto Group sales agent Luchs, who serves as the company’s senior vice president, did not immediately respond to a phone message left by the Blade seeking further information, including the sale price.
News of Perruzza’s decision to sell Pitchers and A League of Her Own follows his Facebook postings last fall saying Pitchers, like other bars in D.C., was adversely impacted by the Trump administration’s deployment of National Guard soldiers on D.C. streets
In an Oct. 10 Facebook post, Perruzza said he was facing, “probably the worst economy I have seen in a while and everyone in D.C. is dealing with the Trump drama.” He told the Blade in a Nov. 10 interview that Pitchers continued to draw a large customer base, but patrons were not spending as much on drinks.
The Zacuto Group sales brochure says Pitchers currently provides a “rare combination of scale, multiple bars, inclusivity, and established reputation that provides a unique investment opportunity for any buyer seeking a long-term asset with a loyal and consistent customer base,” suggesting that, similar to other D.C. LGBTQ bars, business has returned to normal with less impact from the Trump related issues.
The sales brochure can be accessed here.
European Parliament resolution backs ‘full recognition of trans women as women’
Deon Jones speaks about D.C. Department of Corrections bias lawsuit settlement
Home is where the heart is
‘Heated Rivalry’ fandom exposes LGBTQ divide in Baltimore
Magic is happening for Round House’s out stage manager
McPike wins special election for Va. House of Delegates
Top Democrats re-introduce trans bill of rights
Shooter who killed 7 people inside Canada school was transgender
Just when you think Trump can’t sink any lower, he does
