a&e features
Young and proud
20 youths reflect on coming out early and misconceptions about millennials
(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Youth Pride will be here soon. LGBT young people from all over the D.C. area will spend Saturday, May 2 from noon-5 p.m. in Dupont Circle enjoying performances, games, speakers, testimonials and more (details at youthpridealliance.org).
To celebrate this year’s event, Washington Blade staff teamed up with SMYAL to profile 20 local youths 20 and under. Their perspectives encompass the full range of queer teen experience from bullying and harassment to acceptance and joy.
Carolyn Kidd (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Carolyn Kidd
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: Maryland
ID AS: genderqueer/queer
CAME OUT: senior year of high school
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
The reaction of my peers has mostly been positive. However when I attended Duquesne University, a Catholic university in Pittsburgh, I experienced bigotry and “aversion” to “the gay lifestyle.” At St. Mary’s College of Maryland, I experienced a kind of gay euphoria and was accepted … and was able to start a club for trans students.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends reacted positively, however my parents were concerned about how being out would impact my future.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
There have been no overt downsides to being out, but hearing people openly badmouth the LGBT community is hard.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest is constantly being misgendered whether it’s being called “sir,” “young lady” or using the wrong pronouns.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That trans people are cross dressers and confused. Trans folks are often excluded.
Jason Adle (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Jason Adle
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Gaithersburg, Md.
ID AS: gay
CAME OUT: 2010-ish
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
The reaction at school has been neutral at worst and encouraging at best. For the most part, encouraging and supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
By and large, supportive and positive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The main benefit is that there is no stress to not be yourself. You can be you to the Nth degree.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The worst part is having to deal with those who you did not want to know your identity at a certain time. But on the flip side, it is absolutely great not having to feel trapped in being something you’re not.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. It was a great time to hang out with friends and meet new people and learn about/interact with organizations that were helping further the cause.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think the biggest disconnect is how aware Millennials appear to be in regard to LGBT history. We may not have lived in certain parts of LGBT history, but we are well aware of the events that have led to today.
Azariah Kurlantzick (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key.
NAME: Azariah Kurlantzick
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Potomac, Md.
ID AS: queer/trans boy
CAME OUT: May 2011 as bi (in seventh grade); summer 2012 as transgender, just before ninth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
When I first came out as bi, I was attending a Jewish day school so it was sometimes weird for me when taking part in class discussions on whether homosexuality is a sin, but reactions were generally fine. I was still at that school when I came out as transgender and I did encounter some people who refused to use my new name and pronouns, but with the help of Keshet, a Jewish LGBT organization, I was met with support.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends have been very accepting and although my Jewish community had a bad reaction initially, it has become more positive. Now that I’m attending public school for the first time in 11th grade, I hear a lot of homophobic slurs directed at me in class and in the halls, but whenever I talk to people, they seem accepting.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
A big benefit of being out is that I feel more comfortable now exploring my gender presentation. Before, I felt the need to present as very masculine so that people might read me as a girl. Now, though, I feel more comfortable doing things like dying my hair pink because I can assume that most people do not see me as a girl.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best part is that I am now part of a wonderful community that I wouldn’t have access to were I still in the closet.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
It was a good event, but adults there kept referring to the trans people I was with as ladies.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That there are fewer of us than there actually are and that all of us are cisgender.
Carly Carter (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Carly Carter
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Herndon, Va.
ID AS: lesbian/queer
CAME OUT: March 26, 2014
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Not a huge one. People were surprised but otherwise I didn’t get a lot of response. Occasionally, I hear a mean comment, but usually people are really supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends are great! I could not have picked better friends. Most of us are queer actually, so that works out great. My mom and dad are still adjusting. … they have overall been crazy supportive. Not a mean word has ever come out of their mouths.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Getting to be more open and honest with people is a huge plus. Also meeting a bunch of queer friends whom I love being in touch with. I would never have met them had I not been out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
There are challenges with everything — being out is not an exception.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I didn’t know about it.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we have it easy or that the hardships they had to face are gone now.
Autumn Smith (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Autumn Smith
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: male
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
That I was “cool for being a gay guy” except when I wore women’s jewelry.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family doesn’t talk about it. Friends are cool and it’s all good until I wear a dress.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Oh yes!
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Harassment, weird looks.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! It was amazing as always.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That our struggles can’t compare with theirs.
LC (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: LC (Lauren Collins)
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Herndon, Va.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: eighth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Mixed — positive from close friends, but neutral to negative from the student body.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Mom has come around and is supportive now. Dad said a couple insensitive things but he’s always supported me. My church and community are pretty OK with it.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Being able to interact with openly queer friends and being able to share my relationships publicly. Downsides are backlash at school and it’s harder to fly under the radar.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Feeling like a representative for all queer people.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
N/A
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we’re just “confused” or saying we’re queer or trans just because it’s “trendy.”
Katie Barack (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Katie Barack
AGE: 19
RESIDENCE: McLean, Va.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: April 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I’ve been accepted by the community as someone who could fall in love with someone of any gender. However, I go to a “same-sex” boarding school, so all of my gender questioning has been pretty private. I’ve had to give a lot of advice to underclassmen. I love the leadership role and being the only out student has made me find an incredible community.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family is very supportive. While my friends at school are supportive, my friends from home in the Midwest can be very ignorant and tend to make me feel “other.”
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I feel excluded often and school dances are awkward. In my tux, I’m called “sharp” while all the other students in dresses are called “gorgeous.”
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
I’ve found a community I would never trade. I love finding other queer people. Questioning my gender is something I’ve only recently come out about. It sucks that my high school diploma probably won’t have the name I use on it. I wish I could use the right pronouns and name, but I’m at an all-girls school. I’ve had to work my ass off to get us to be aware of transgender students and the need for accommodating policies.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
Transgender people are viewed as outsiders of the community by the older generation. Cultural intersectionality is ignored.
Lia Warner (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Lia Warner
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Chesapeake, Va.
ID AS: lesbian
CAME OUT: 14
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I was really lucky to be a member of a very accepting track and cross-country team, so in the locker room, I felt a lot safer than I anticipated. But I still heard homophobic slurs and comments elsewhere at school.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My parents have been overwhelmingly supportive as have my friends. Many members of the community as well, but that’s not to say it’s been 100 percent positive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
A benefit would be, of course, the ability to be myself and be true to my identity with those I love. The downside, where I live is overwhelmingly homophobic and discriminatory.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest — when people look at me in a different and negative light. The best — my ability to be myself publicly and help others in my GSA.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I did not know about SMYAL or that event. I did go to Hampton Roads Pride, which was fabulous.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
They believe this is a phase or that we’re somehow a mistake.
Rico Jones (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Rico Jones
AGE: 15
RESIDENCE: none given
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: This year
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Mixed — happiness from some who were proud of me, but also a lot of bullying most of the time. I’ve been called a lot of names and picked on by many others.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends were all by my side and have wished me happiness and the best of luck.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Benefits: happy to have found myself in so many ways, love and freedom. Downsides: bullying.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Bullying and the feeling that people think because you’re gay, you think you deserve special rights or treatment.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I wish I had.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
Being myself and being free and showing other people that we can be the change.
Sasha Jarvis (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Sasha Jarvis
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Derwood, Md.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: ninth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Neutral
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
I’ve had a pretty positive reaction. The first person I came out to was my friend Kathryn and it felt so nice until she decided she had to tell her mom. So that was super uncomfortable because I wasn’t even out to my own parents. My favorite thing was when I casually dropped the word “girlfriend” without getting any kind of extreme response. That was affirming.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I haven’t really felt any downsides personally but it is rewarding to not be sitting quietly and letting homophobes slide out of fear of judgment.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
It’s annoying to hear hetero-normative language from people close to me. Like hearing my mom say my sisters and I should live alone or with a girlfriend (as in a female friend) before getting married. It hurts to not have my identity respected, even in small ways.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! I love being able to share my queer community life with my school friends.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think the biggest misconception is that we’re all just following trends.
Gavin Calvin (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Gavin Calvin
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Clarksburg, Md.
ID AS: transgender
CAME OUT: 8th grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Very supportive and loving.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
They were not surprised and supported me fully.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Strangers not understanding my choices and judging.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
I’m more comfortable around my peers and am happier living as who I truly am.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
(My generation) seems to think LGBT Boomers are reckless and carefree. My experience with Gen. Xers is that they think how we are is a choice and is wrong.
Erika Johnson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Erika Johnson
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Clinton, Md.
ID AS: lesbian
CAME OUT: 9th grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I received a pretty positive reaction from my friends and teachers. A lot of my friends were shocked and surprised but very supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family on the other hand, doesn’t really understand. Most of them don’t know I’m out, but the few I trust fully support.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The benefit of being out is that there are so many people I can relate to on a personal level. Being out has given me the spunk to go forth with my advocacy. The downside of being out is that not a lot of people fully understand my new points. Coming out in the ninth grade has been very stressful because I still feel like I’m hiding.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest part about being out is that it is hard trying to express myself in front of people. I’m partially in the closet and partially not. The best part is that I can come to SMYAL and feel like the true me. SMYAL has made this process 100 percent easier. There are still some obstacles I have to get over, but I am a strong woman who can do anything.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! It was amazing. It was a pleasure meeting more SMYAL folks and getting to learn about queer youth experiences.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we spend too much time “complaining” about what we need when we are really just speaking the truth.
Selvi Ulusan (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Selvi Ulusan
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Bethesda, Md.
ID AS: queer/bi
CAME OUT: June 20, 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Surprise mostly. I don’t think everyone knows quite yet actually. I don’t tell everyone I meet automatically but if anyone asks, I tell them the truth.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends were very supportive. My family kind of already saw it coming but my little sister was great. So nice!
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Benefits: I am who I am and people knowing doesn’t change that, but they just know a little bit more about me. Downsides: there was a lot of “are you sure?” or just “weirded out” reactions. Some people just didn’t believe me, but that’s not my problem.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Hardest: That I feel like I have to keep coming out every time I tell someone else. Best is letting people know a little more of who I am.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I have been to the Capital Pride parade and festival the last two years, but not Youth Pride. The first year I went to Pride, it was amazing. I met a girl who made all of my unanswered questions about myself incredibly clear.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That it’s just a choice or just how you feel and that you can only be attracted to one gender.
Temitayo Wolff (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Temitayo Wolff
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: queer girl (panromantic, grey-asexual)
CAME OUT: beginning of 11th grade/end of 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Within a specific community, I’ve received so much love and support. My friend group is super gay. I haven’t received much open hostility. Some people have a lot of questions.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My mom wishes I would stop saying words like “pansexual,” which she never heard. I think she accepts my identity even though it doesn’t make sense to her. My dad is also a little confused but he is supportive of my identity, activism and presentation. I have a much younger sister and I think coming out has made her more accepting and socially aware.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I’ve been really lucky to experience more benefits than downsides when I came out. Coming out provided me with a community of really supportive queer friends online and in D.C. The main downside is tension with my mother.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best — my queer-platonic partner and my girlfriend.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did attend and had a lot of fun. I appreciate Youth Pride as a space that doesn’t have alcohol and nearly as many people as Capital Pride. However a lot of my friends were consistently misgendered both by peers and by adults who were running the programs, which was disappointing that an event that is supposed to be safe for trans people makes assumptions about people’s gender and reinforces that non-existent binary.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think older folks feel like we are undermining a lot of the work they did with our own activism. When we use social media as a platform for advocacy, they think we are being lazy or unproductive. When we reclaim “queer” as a self-identifier, they think we are disrespecting their struggle to eliminate the use of that word. When we advocate for lesser-known identities like asexuality, pansexuality and non-binary genders, they think we are just making up new words and new forms of oppression when they fought so hard just for basic recognition of the L, G, B and T. I think older LGBTQ folks need to recognize that queer young people of color exist.
NAME: Lance M. Coates III (Lacyy Coates)
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: trans woman, early transition stage
CAME OUT: 16
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I have received mixed reactions at various schools.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends have been supportive while the community as a whole has been very hostile to the point of gay bashing.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I have become more inspired to live my life openly by the girls at Casa Ruby.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Being able to be myself is the best part.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes, it was a very happy experience.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
They don’t really interact with us or teach us the ways.
Ebony Rempson (Photo courtesy of Ebony Rempson)
NAME: Ebony Rempson
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: 2009
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
In high school, it varied from shock and disgust to understanding.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
I had problems with my family at first, especially since I was outed by a family member but things got better. My friends have always been loving. Communities that I’ve found myself a part of have been great support systems and always served as places where I could seek validation.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I wouldn’t have had a chance to grow the way I did and share my unique story with people had I not been out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest part about being out as queer has been knowing that there is a third strike against me in the heteronormative and patriarchal society, strikes one and two being black and a woman.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes and it’s always positive. There’s nothing better than a sense of community.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we’re lazy and self absorbed.
NAME: Shantel Jordan
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: queer/trans
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
My close friends were very supportive. Some other students didn’t understand and made some pretty harsh comments.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Family was mixed — they were upset at first, but are now mostly supportive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The big benefit is being able to be myself. It’s very refreshing not to have to hide.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Hearing from people that God doesn’t like gay people. That was hard.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. I enjoyed it.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we just want to play on our phones and aren’t really serious about anything.
NAME: James Rosenstein
AGE: 15
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: 2014
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I had a number of people ask if I really thought I was gay or if it was a phase but most of my friends were great. They really accept me for me.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family has been really great. They wanted to talk a lot when I first told them, but they have always been very supportive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I get some comments from other students from time to time, but I’d still rather be out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Being able to be honest with my friends and parents.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. I liked it but I couldn’t stay for the entire thing.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That young people don’t want to be active in church. I am very active in my church but I understand that many LGBTQ young people don’t want to be.
NAME: Chance
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: gender queer
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Some people said I was the first queer person they had met. Some said they weren’t sure what queer was so I had to spend some time talking to people in my school. I don’t know if everyone was OK with the answer but most people seemed to be open-minded.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Most of my family is OK with it. I know I have some people who don’t like the fact that I’m not straight, but I’m OK with that.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The only downside has been hearing from friends that other people don’t want to hang out with me. That really sucks, but I’m still glad I came out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best part has been my relationship with my girlfriend. I don’t think we would be together if I wasn’t out.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did not.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I would say that some older people don’t really understand LGBTQ young people. I’ve had older people ask why I want to be called queer.
NAME: Maya Parker
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: freshman year of high school
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I wasn’t accepted at first as I was one of the first in my high school to come out. I got made fun of mainly by the boys. I figured they were jealous. It somehow was an inspiration to the other girls in the school as they began to come out as well.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family pretty much thought of it as a phase. I guess they have swept it under the rug. My friends didn’t like it too well. They started acting uncomfortable around me and not wanting to get dressed in front of me. People heard bisexual and figured I was looking at every woman that would walk past me. My community didn’t react much as I’m more on the feminine side. I’ve only really gotten reaction by my community if I was seen with a more dominant female.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I actually get to be myself. It gives me a sort of confidence where I can walk outside with my head high without feeling like I have a dark secret.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
People thinking you’re “playing both sides of the fence.” It’s hard to get a woman to understand that you’re serious about her when she knows you like men and with men, they can’t seem to get the thought of two women and themselves out of their heads.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
Some gifts scream practical, others whisper luxury, and a few flat-out blur the lines. From cocoa that feels ceremonial to a cologne that linger like a suggestive smirk, this year’s ultimate gift picks prove that thoughtful (and occasionally naughty) presents don’t have to be prosaic. Welcome to your holiday cheat sheet for festive tangibles that get noticed, remembered, and maybe even result in a peck of gratitude planted under the mistletoe. Consensually, of course.
Amber Glass Champagne Flutes
Pop the champs – but make it vintage. These tulip-shaped stunners in amber-tinted glass bring all the Gatsby vibes without the Jazz-age drama. Whether you’re toasting a milestone or celebrating a Tuesday, their seven-ounce capacities and hand-wash-only care make ‘em as practical as they are pretty. Pair with a thoughtful bottle of bubs and gift with a glittering wink. $18, NantucketLooms.com
Disaster Playbook by Here Comes the Apocalypse
Because the end of the world shouldn’t be a solo act, this spiral-bound guide is your step-by-step roadmap to surviving and thriving when everything else goes sideways, which might be sooner than you think. Packed with checklists, drills, and a healthy dose of humor, it’s like a survival manual written by your most prepared (and slightly snarky) friend. Whether you’re prepping for a zombie apocalypse or, more realistically, REVOLUTION!, this playbook’s got your back. $40, HereComesTheApocalypse.com
Wickless Vulva Candles
Bold, luxurious, and completely flame-free, CTOAN’s wickless candles melt from beneath on a warmer, releasing subtle, sophisticated fragrances, like sandalwood or lavender. The vulva-shaped wax adds a playful, provocative element to any space –perfect for a bedroom, living room, or anywhere you want elegance with an edge. A gift that celebrates form, intimacy and self-expression, no fire required. $39, CTOANCO.com
Villeroy & Boch Royal Classic Christmas Collection
Every meal is a mini celebration – with whimsy at every place setting – in Villeroy & Boch’s Royal Classic festive dinnerware collection that hits all the right notes. Made from premium German porcelain, it features nostalgic little toys, nutcrackers, and rocking horses in delicate relief, giving your holiday spread a playful but refined twist. Dishwasher- and microwave-safe, it’s luxe without the fuss. Gift a piece to a special someone, or start a collection they’ll use (and show off) for years to come. $22-$363, Villeroy-Boch.com
Greenworks Electric Lawnmower
You a ’hood queen who considers lawn care performance art – or just wants to rule the cul-de-sac in quiet, emission-free glory? Greenworks’ zero-turn electric mower has the muscle of a 24-horsepower gas engine but none of the fumes, drama or maintenance. Six 60V batteries and a 42-inch deck mean you can mow up to two-and-a-half acres on a single charge – then plug in, recharge, and ride again. It’s whisper-quiet, slope-ready, and smooth enough to make you wonder why you ever pushed anything besides your queer agenda. The perfect gift for the homeowner who loves sustainability, symmetry, and showing off their freshly striped yard like that fresh fade you get on Fridays. $5,000, GreenworksTools.com
Molekule Air Purifier
For the friend who treats their space like a sanctuary (or just can’t stand sneezes), the Molekule Air Pro is magic in motion. Covering up to 1,000 square feet, it doesn’t just capture allergens, VOCs, and smoke – it destroys them, leaving your air feeling luxury-clean. FDA-cleared as a Class II medical device, it’s serious science disguised as modern design. Gift it to your city-dwelling, pet-loving, candle-burning friend who likes their living room as pristine as their Instagram feed. $1,015, Molekule.com
Cipriani Prosecco Gift Set
Effervescent with stone-fruit sweetness and a touch of Italian flair, the Cipriani Bellini & Prosecco gift set brings brunch-level glamour to any day of the week. The Bellini blends rich white-peach purée with sparkling wine, while the dry ’secco keeps things crisp and celebratory. Pop a bottle, pour a flute, and suddenly winter weeknights feel like a party – even with your pants off. $36, TotalWine.com
Woo(e)d Cologne
British GQ recently crowned Woo(e)d by ALTAIA the “Best Date Night Fragrance,” and honestly, they nailed it. Confident without being cocky – smoky gaïac and Atlas cedarwood grounds the room while supple leather and spicy cardamom do all the flirting – it’s a scent that lingers like good conversation and soft candlelight. Gift it to the one who always turns heads – or keep it for yourself and let them come to (and then on) you. $255, BeautyHabit.com
Lococo Cocoa Kit
Keep the run-of-the-mill mugs in the cabinet this Christmas and pull out Lococo’s handcrafted Oaxacan versions that demand you slow down and sip like it matters. Paired with a wooden scoop, rechargeable frother, and Lococo’s signature spice hot-chocolate blend (vegan, gluten-free, with adaptogenic mushrooms), this holiday kit turns Mexi-cocoa into a mini ritual you’ll look forward to. Perfect for anyone who loves a little indulgence with a side of ¡A huevo! energy.
Manta Sleep Mask
Total blackout, zero pressure on the eyes, and Bluetooth speakers built right into the straps, this ain’t your mama’s sleep mask — but it could be. The Manta SOUND sleep mask features C-shaped eye cups that block every hint of light while ultra-thin speakers deliver your favorite white noise, meditation, or late-night playlist straight to your ears. With 24-hour battery life, breathable fabric, and easy-to-adjust sound, it turns any bed (or airplane seat) into a five-star sleep suite. Perfect for anyone who treats shut-eye like an art form (or just wants to escape their roommate’s late-night bingin’ and/or bangin’). $159, MantaSleep.com
Shacklelock Necklace
Turn the industrial-chic vibe of a shackle into a sleek statement. Mi Tesoro’s platinum-plated stainless-steel necklace sits on an 18-inch wheat chain, featuring a shackle-style latch pendant that’s waterproof, tarnish-free, and totally fuss-les. Beyond style, it nods to a classic gesture in the queer leather community: replacing a traditional Master lock with something elegant to quietly signal belonging to someone special. Wear it solo for a minimalist edge or layer it like you mean it; either way this piece locks in both your look and your intentions. $90, MiTesoroJewelry.com
Parkside Flask Mojave Edition
Wine nights get a desert glow-up with Parkside’s limited-edition 750-milliliter all-in-one flask draped in sun-washed bronze and badland hues like sage, sand, and terracotta – with magnetic stemless tumblers that snap on for effortless shareability. It keeps your vino chilled for 24 hours, pours without drips (no tears for spilled rosé, please), and even lets you laser-engrave your own mantra or inside joke. Perfect for picnics, surprise rooftop clinks, or gifting to your favorite wine (or desert) rat. $149, HighCampFlasks.com
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with him on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.
a&e features
Meet Mr. Christmas
Hallmark’s Jonathan Bennett on telling gay love stories for mainstream audiences
Jonathan Bennett believes there are two kinds of people in the world — those who love Hallmark movies and liars. And in Season 2 of Finding Mr. Christmas, which the Mean Girls star co-created with Ben Roy, Bennett is searching for Hallmark’s next leading man.
“It’s so fun for people because everyone in their life has someone they know that they think should be in Hallmark movies, right? The UPS driver, the barista at the coffee shop, the dentist,” Bennett says. “So we’re testing their acting abilities, we’re testing who they are, but we’re also looking for that star quality — the thing that makes them shine above everyone else. It’s almost something you can’t explain, but we know it when we see it.”
Season 2’s cast includes a former NFL player for the Green Bay Packers, a few actors, and a realtor. The 10 men compete in weekly festive-themed acting challenges, one of which included having to ride a horse and act out a scene with Alison Sweeney. The contestants were chosen from a crop of 360 potential men, and Bennett gives kudos to the show’s Emmy-nominated casting director, Lindsay Liles (The Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise).
“She has a tough job because she has to find 10 guys that are going to be good reality television, but also have the talent to act, carry a scene, and lead a Hallmark movie eventually,” he says. To be the right fit for a Hallmark leading man, Bennett singles out five key characteristics: you have to be funny, charming, kind, have a sense of humor, and you have to do it all with a big heart.
Of course, Finding Mr. Christmas wouldn’t be Finding Mr. Christmas without its signature eye candy — something Bennett describes as “part of the job” for the contestants. “I can’t believe Hallmark let me get away with this. I dressed them as sexy reindeer and put them in harnesses attached to a cable 30 feet in the air, and they had to do a sexy reindeer photo shoot challenge,” he says with a laugh. “This season is just bigger and bolder than last. People are responding to not only all the craziness that we put them through, but also comparing and contrasting the guys in their acting scenes when we do them back-to-back.”
Season 1 winner Ezra Moreland’s career has been an early testament to the show’s success at finding rising talent. On seeing the show’s first winner flourish, Bennett says, “Now to watch him out in the world, just booking commercial after commercial and shining as an actor and a model, I think the show gave him the wings to do that. He learned so much about himself, and he took all that into his future auditions and casting. He just works nonstop. I’ve never seen an actor book more commercials and modeling gigs in my life.”
Bennett has been a star of plenty of Hallmark movies himself, including the GLAAD-award-winning The Groomsmen: Second Chances, which makes him a fitting host. Among those movies are 2020’s Christmas House, which featured the first same-sex kiss on the network and had a major impact on Bennett’s career as an openly gay man. “Hallmark’s been so great about supporting me in queer storytelling. But again, I don’t make gay movies for gay audiences. I make gay love stories for a broad audience, and that’s a huge difference, right? We’re not telling stories inside baseball that only the gay community will understand.”
He continues, “The backdrop of a Hallmark Christmas movie is very familiar to these people who watch. And so when you tell a gay love story, and you tell it no differently than a straight love story in that space, they’re able to understand. It’s able to change hearts and minds for people who might not have it in their lives.”
While Hallmark has become a major staple of Bennett’s career, he started off wanting to be a Broadway actor. And before the first season of Finding Mr. Christmas aired, Bennett took a break from TV to make his Broadway debut in Spamalot, replacing Michael Urie as Sir Robin and starring alongside Ethan Slater and Alex Brightman.
“That was my dream since I was five years old – then I booked a movie called Mean Girls, and everything kind of changes in your life. You no longer become a person pursuing Broadway, you become a part of pop culture,” Bennett recalls. “And to be honest, when I hit 40, I was like, ‘I’m probably never going to get to live that dream.’ And that’s okay, because I got to do other dreams and other things that were just as cool but different. So I honestly never thought it would happen.”
Bennett is still determined to make his way back on Broadway with the right role — he calls Spamalot the “best experience” of his life, after all — but he’s got another Hallmark show lined up with Murder Mystery House, which he co-created. The show was recently greenlit for development and intends to bring the Hallmark mystery movie to life. “It’s kind of like our version of The Traitors,” Bennett admits.
Looking back on both seasons, Bennett says that what makes Finding Mr. Christmas stand out in the overcrowded reality TV landscape is that everyone involved makes it with heart: “This isn’t a show where you’re going to watch people throw drinks in each other’s faces and get into big fights. The thing that has amazed me so much about this show, the more we’ve done it, is that every season, 10 guys come in as competitors, but they leave as a family and as brothers. That’s something you don’t get on any other network.”
Finding Mr. Christmas airs every Monday on Hallmark through December 20, with episodes available to stream on Hallmark+.
a&e features
Guillermo Diaz on his role as a queer, Latino actor in Hollywood
Shattering stereotypes and norms with long resume of roles
Actor Guillermo Diaz has been working hard in the entertainment industry for more than three decades. Proud of his heritage and queer identity, he has broken through many glass ceilings to have a prolific career that includes tentpole moments such as roles in the films Party Girl, Half Baked, and Bros, and in major TV shows like Weeds and Scandal, and even in a Britney Spears music video. This season, he made his feature-length directorial debut with the film Dear Luke, Love Me.
In an intimate sit-down with the Blade, Diaz shares that he attributes a lot of his success to his Cuban upbringing.
“Well, it prepared me to learn how to lie really well and be a good actor because it was a lot of acting like you were straight, back in the eighties and nineties (laugh). Another thing I learned from my Cuban immigrant parents is that they work super hard. They both had two jobs; we were latchkey kids, and I just saw them constantly working and wanting to provide for us by any means. So that was super instilled in me. That was the one thing that really stuck out that I admire and respect.”
Besides Diaz’s recurring roles on TV, his resume includes appearances in just about every genre of programming out there. If there is a major show out there, he was probably on it. Law and Order, Girls, The Closer, Chappelle’s Show, ER, Party of Five, and the list goes on. He’s accomplished more in his career thus far than most actors do in a lifetime. There is no doubt he is a hard worker.
“It’s a sign that I just loved to work, and it’s funny looking back at it now because you see all those things, but at the time it was just the next gig, the next job. I was just wanting to keep working and acting and learning and doing all that stuff. Then it sort of accumulates, and you look back and you’re like, damn! That’s a lot of stuff!”
Acting was never on Diaz’s radar until he was asked to fill in for a friend in a Beastie Boys medley for a talent show when he was a sophomore in high school.
“I did it and fell in love with it. I was teased a lot in high school. Then, when I did that performance, all those people who teased me were like, you were so great! So I looked at it initially as a thing of like, oh, this is where I’m accepted and people like me when I’m on stage. It’s kind of sad, too, because that’s what I latched onto. And then of course, I fell in love with the craft and performing and acting, but that initial rush was because all these people who were messing with me and teasing me all of a sudden liked me. And I was like, this is what I have to do.”
Little did Diaz know that he would break the mold when it came to stereotypical casting. When he first hit the industry, diversity and positive representation were not a thing in Hollywood.
“You just kind of accepted at the time. It was the early nineties. 90% of the time, it was playing a thug or a gun dealer, or a crack head – it was all bad guys, negative characters. But it was either that or not act and not be in anything. So you just kind of accept it, and then you have this sort of vision or hope that in the future it’s going to get better.
Diaz’s management was trepidatious about him playing gay roles for fear of being typecast. But Diaz did play a handful of gay roles early on, although he passed on But I’m A Cheerleader, which went on to become a gay cult classic. Diaz decided early on that he was not going to hide his sexuality. Diaz appeared in the film Stonewall. That was the defining point for him in sharing his identity.
“Being cast in that historical sort of dramatization of the 1969 Stonewall riots – I couldn’t believe I was in the midst that I was in the middle of doing this and playing the lead drag queen on the film. I just felt so honored, and I knew it was important, and I knew I needed to do a really good job. I thought, what a special moment this is. And it kicked my ass shooting that movie.
I remember after doing Stonewall, people saying, well, now you’re either going to have to make a choice if you’re going to lie, or if you’re going to just be honest, and you’re going to have to be out from now on if you’re going to be honest. And I was like, I’m not going to freaking lie. When they’d asked me, I would say I was gay. I think because I never tried to hide it, it didn’t become a thing. So people just kind of ignored it. It didn’t mess with me or my career. I don’t know. Or I just got lucky. I don’t freaking know.”
As a queer, Latin actor, Diaz is all too aware of what is happening politically and socially in the world towards minority communities. Does he think actors have a place in politics?
“For sure. I mean, we’re people first, right? Like, I hate when people sort of are like, oh, you’re an actor, shut up. I’m super political and outspoken, and I’m that guy who will say shit. I’m on the right side of history, at least. I’m not being complicit and silent. So, yeah, I think actors for sure have a place in politics. Absolutely.”
While directing was on Diaz’s radar, it wasn’t something that he was actively searching out. But as life would have it, his friend Mallie McCown sent him her script for Dear Luke, Love Me, a film she would play the lead in. Diaz was hooked.
“It was one of those scripts that I had to keep putting down every like 20 pages. I would put it down because I didn’t want it to end. It was so good. Originally, I was just going to come on as a producer of the film, and then the director dropped out, and then Mallie asked me if I was interested in directing. I was scared as shit. I had never directed a feature film. But I was like, it’s now or never.”
The film covers a decade of the friendship between Penny and Luke, covering themes of platonic love, asexuality, co-dependence, and self-identity. With most of the film focusing on just the two leads, Diaz has crafted an intimate and raw film. What is his message with the film?
“That love is complicated, but it’s beautiful and rewarding and worth all the heartache. I believe that. I don’t want to give away too much in the film either, but I think everyone can relate to it because there’s heartache and there’s pain, and there’s beauty and there’s love.”
And in looking at his past work and in looking toward his future career, what kind of legacy does Diaz want to build?
“That I broke some ground, that I knocked down some walls as an artist; I’m hoping that made a difference. It’s funny because when you’re in it, you’re not thinking about all this stuff that could possibly pave the way for other people. You’re just kind of moving along and living your life. But yeah, I would hope that I broke down some walls as a queer Latino.
I hope that people can sort of get something out of me trying to live as authentically as I can, just being my queer self. Hopefully, that helps someone along who is having some troubles being accepted or being comfortable with who they are.”
‘90s club kids will love Mark Ronson’s new book
Ultimate guide to queer gift giving
Study shows ‘pervasive mistreatment of LGBTQ people by law enforcement’
HRC study reveals GOP efforts to undermine LGBTQ rights and services in 2026
Victory Institute honors President Biden
‘Lavender Scare 2.0’: inside the White House’s campaign against LGBTQ federal employees
Activists praise Mayor Bowser’s impact on city, LGBTQ community
Meet Mr. Christmas
Puerto Rico’s largest LGBTQ organization struggling amid federal funding cuts
Trans women in state prisons on being targeted by Trump
-
The White House4 days ago‘Lavender Scare 2.0’: inside the White House’s campaign against LGBTQ federal employees
-
District of Columbia4 days ago
Activists praise Mayor Bowser’s impact on city, LGBTQ community
-
a&e features4 days ago
Meet Mr. Christmas
-
Puerto Rico3 days ago
Puerto Rico’s largest LGBTQ organization struggling amid federal funding cuts
