a&e features
Young and proud
20 youths reflect on coming out early and misconceptions about millennials
(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Youth Pride will be here soon. LGBT young people from all over the D.C. area will spend Saturday, May 2 from noon-5 p.m. in Dupont Circle enjoying performances, games, speakers, testimonials and more (details at youthpridealliance.org).
To celebrate this year’s event, Washington Blade staff teamed up with SMYAL to profile 20 local youths 20 and under. Their perspectives encompass the full range of queer teen experience from bullying and harassment to acceptance and joy.
Carolyn Kidd (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Carolyn Kidd
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: Maryland
ID AS: genderqueer/queer
CAME OUT: senior year of high school
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
The reaction of my peers has mostly been positive. However when I attended Duquesne University, a Catholic university in Pittsburgh, I experienced bigotry and “aversion” to “the gay lifestyle.” At St. Mary’s College of Maryland, I experienced a kind of gay euphoria and was accepted … and was able to start a club for trans students.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends reacted positively, however my parents were concerned about how being out would impact my future.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
There have been no overt downsides to being out, but hearing people openly badmouth the LGBT community is hard.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest is constantly being misgendered whether it’s being called “sir,” “young lady” or using the wrong pronouns.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That trans people are cross dressers and confused. Trans folks are often excluded.
Jason Adle (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Jason Adle
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Gaithersburg, Md.
ID AS: gay
CAME OUT: 2010-ish
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
The reaction at school has been neutral at worst and encouraging at best. For the most part, encouraging and supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
By and large, supportive and positive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The main benefit is that there is no stress to not be yourself. You can be you to the Nth degree.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The worst part is having to deal with those who you did not want to know your identity at a certain time. But on the flip side, it is absolutely great not having to feel trapped in being something you’re not.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. It was a great time to hang out with friends and meet new people and learn about/interact with organizations that were helping further the cause.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think the biggest disconnect is how aware Millennials appear to be in regard to LGBT history. We may not have lived in certain parts of LGBT history, but we are well aware of the events that have led to today.
Azariah Kurlantzick (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key.
NAME: Azariah Kurlantzick
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Potomac, Md.
ID AS: queer/trans boy
CAME OUT: May 2011 as bi (in seventh grade); summer 2012 as transgender, just before ninth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
When I first came out as bi, I was attending a Jewish day school so it was sometimes weird for me when taking part in class discussions on whether homosexuality is a sin, but reactions were generally fine. I was still at that school when I came out as transgender and I did encounter some people who refused to use my new name and pronouns, but with the help of Keshet, a Jewish LGBT organization, I was met with support.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends have been very accepting and although my Jewish community had a bad reaction initially, it has become more positive. Now that I’m attending public school for the first time in 11th grade, I hear a lot of homophobic slurs directed at me in class and in the halls, but whenever I talk to people, they seem accepting.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
A big benefit of being out is that I feel more comfortable now exploring my gender presentation. Before, I felt the need to present as very masculine so that people might read me as a girl. Now, though, I feel more comfortable doing things like dying my hair pink because I can assume that most people do not see me as a girl.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best part is that I am now part of a wonderful community that I wouldn’t have access to were I still in the closet.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
It was a good event, but adults there kept referring to the trans people I was with as ladies.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That there are fewer of us than there actually are and that all of us are cisgender.
Carly Carter (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Carly Carter
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Herndon, Va.
ID AS: lesbian/queer
CAME OUT: March 26, 2014
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Not a huge one. People were surprised but otherwise I didn’t get a lot of response. Occasionally, I hear a mean comment, but usually people are really supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends are great! I could not have picked better friends. Most of us are queer actually, so that works out great. My mom and dad are still adjusting. … they have overall been crazy supportive. Not a mean word has ever come out of their mouths.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Getting to be more open and honest with people is a huge plus. Also meeting a bunch of queer friends whom I love being in touch with. I would never have met them had I not been out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
There are challenges with everything — being out is not an exception.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I didn’t know about it.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we have it easy or that the hardships they had to face are gone now.
Autumn Smith (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Autumn Smith
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: male
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
That I was “cool for being a gay guy” except when I wore women’s jewelry.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family doesn’t talk about it. Friends are cool and it’s all good until I wear a dress.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Oh yes!
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Harassment, weird looks.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! It was amazing as always.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That our struggles can’t compare with theirs.
LC (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: LC (Lauren Collins)
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Herndon, Va.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: eighth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Mixed — positive from close friends, but neutral to negative from the student body.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Mom has come around and is supportive now. Dad said a couple insensitive things but he’s always supported me. My church and community are pretty OK with it.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Being able to interact with openly queer friends and being able to share my relationships publicly. Downsides are backlash at school and it’s harder to fly under the radar.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Feeling like a representative for all queer people.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
N/A
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we’re just “confused” or saying we’re queer or trans just because it’s “trendy.”
Katie Barack (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Katie Barack
AGE: 19
RESIDENCE: McLean, Va.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: April 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I’ve been accepted by the community as someone who could fall in love with someone of any gender. However, I go to a “same-sex” boarding school, so all of my gender questioning has been pretty private. I’ve had to give a lot of advice to underclassmen. I love the leadership role and being the only out student has made me find an incredible community.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family is very supportive. While my friends at school are supportive, my friends from home in the Midwest can be very ignorant and tend to make me feel “other.”
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I feel excluded often and school dances are awkward. In my tux, I’m called “sharp” while all the other students in dresses are called “gorgeous.”
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
I’ve found a community I would never trade. I love finding other queer people. Questioning my gender is something I’ve only recently come out about. It sucks that my high school diploma probably won’t have the name I use on it. I wish I could use the right pronouns and name, but I’m at an all-girls school. I’ve had to work my ass off to get us to be aware of transgender students and the need for accommodating policies.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
Transgender people are viewed as outsiders of the community by the older generation. Cultural intersectionality is ignored.
Lia Warner (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Lia Warner
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Chesapeake, Va.
ID AS: lesbian
CAME OUT: 14
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I was really lucky to be a member of a very accepting track and cross-country team, so in the locker room, I felt a lot safer than I anticipated. But I still heard homophobic slurs and comments elsewhere at school.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My parents have been overwhelmingly supportive as have my friends. Many members of the community as well, but that’s not to say it’s been 100 percent positive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
A benefit would be, of course, the ability to be myself and be true to my identity with those I love. The downside, where I live is overwhelmingly homophobic and discriminatory.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest — when people look at me in a different and negative light. The best — my ability to be myself publicly and help others in my GSA.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I did not know about SMYAL or that event. I did go to Hampton Roads Pride, which was fabulous.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
They believe this is a phase or that we’re somehow a mistake.
Rico Jones (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Rico Jones
AGE: 15
RESIDENCE: none given
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: This year
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Mixed — happiness from some who were proud of me, but also a lot of bullying most of the time. I’ve been called a lot of names and picked on by many others.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends were all by my side and have wished me happiness and the best of luck.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Benefits: happy to have found myself in so many ways, love and freedom. Downsides: bullying.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Bullying and the feeling that people think because you’re gay, you think you deserve special rights or treatment.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I wish I had.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
Being myself and being free and showing other people that we can be the change.
Sasha Jarvis (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Sasha Jarvis
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Derwood, Md.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: ninth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Neutral
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
I’ve had a pretty positive reaction. The first person I came out to was my friend Kathryn and it felt so nice until she decided she had to tell her mom. So that was super uncomfortable because I wasn’t even out to my own parents. My favorite thing was when I casually dropped the word “girlfriend” without getting any kind of extreme response. That was affirming.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I haven’t really felt any downsides personally but it is rewarding to not be sitting quietly and letting homophobes slide out of fear of judgment.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
It’s annoying to hear hetero-normative language from people close to me. Like hearing my mom say my sisters and I should live alone or with a girlfriend (as in a female friend) before getting married. It hurts to not have my identity respected, even in small ways.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! I love being able to share my queer community life with my school friends.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think the biggest misconception is that we’re all just following trends.
Gavin Calvin (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Gavin Calvin
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Clarksburg, Md.
ID AS: transgender
CAME OUT: 8th grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Very supportive and loving.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
They were not surprised and supported me fully.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Strangers not understanding my choices and judging.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
I’m more comfortable around my peers and am happier living as who I truly am.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
(My generation) seems to think LGBT Boomers are reckless and carefree. My experience with Gen. Xers is that they think how we are is a choice and is wrong.
Erika Johnson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Erika Johnson
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Clinton, Md.
ID AS: lesbian
CAME OUT: 9th grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I received a pretty positive reaction from my friends and teachers. A lot of my friends were shocked and surprised but very supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family on the other hand, doesn’t really understand. Most of them don’t know I’m out, but the few I trust fully support.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The benefit of being out is that there are so many people I can relate to on a personal level. Being out has given me the spunk to go forth with my advocacy. The downside of being out is that not a lot of people fully understand my new points. Coming out in the ninth grade has been very stressful because I still feel like I’m hiding.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest part about being out is that it is hard trying to express myself in front of people. I’m partially in the closet and partially not. The best part is that I can come to SMYAL and feel like the true me. SMYAL has made this process 100 percent easier. There are still some obstacles I have to get over, but I am a strong woman who can do anything.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! It was amazing. It was a pleasure meeting more SMYAL folks and getting to learn about queer youth experiences.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we spend too much time “complaining” about what we need when we are really just speaking the truth.
Selvi Ulusan (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Selvi Ulusan
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Bethesda, Md.
ID AS: queer/bi
CAME OUT: June 20, 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Surprise mostly. I don’t think everyone knows quite yet actually. I don’t tell everyone I meet automatically but if anyone asks, I tell them the truth.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends were very supportive. My family kind of already saw it coming but my little sister was great. So nice!
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Benefits: I am who I am and people knowing doesn’t change that, but they just know a little bit more about me. Downsides: there was a lot of “are you sure?” or just “weirded out” reactions. Some people just didn’t believe me, but that’s not my problem.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Hardest: That I feel like I have to keep coming out every time I tell someone else. Best is letting people know a little more of who I am.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I have been to the Capital Pride parade and festival the last two years, but not Youth Pride. The first year I went to Pride, it was amazing. I met a girl who made all of my unanswered questions about myself incredibly clear.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That it’s just a choice or just how you feel and that you can only be attracted to one gender.
Temitayo Wolff (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Temitayo Wolff
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: queer girl (panromantic, grey-asexual)
CAME OUT: beginning of 11th grade/end of 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Within a specific community, I’ve received so much love and support. My friend group is super gay. I haven’t received much open hostility. Some people have a lot of questions.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My mom wishes I would stop saying words like “pansexual,” which she never heard. I think she accepts my identity even though it doesn’t make sense to her. My dad is also a little confused but he is supportive of my identity, activism and presentation. I have a much younger sister and I think coming out has made her more accepting and socially aware.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I’ve been really lucky to experience more benefits than downsides when I came out. Coming out provided me with a community of really supportive queer friends online and in D.C. The main downside is tension with my mother.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best — my queer-platonic partner and my girlfriend.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did attend and had a lot of fun. I appreciate Youth Pride as a space that doesn’t have alcohol and nearly as many people as Capital Pride. However a lot of my friends were consistently misgendered both by peers and by adults who were running the programs, which was disappointing that an event that is supposed to be safe for trans people makes assumptions about people’s gender and reinforces that non-existent binary.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think older folks feel like we are undermining a lot of the work they did with our own activism. When we use social media as a platform for advocacy, they think we are being lazy or unproductive. When we reclaim “queer” as a self-identifier, they think we are disrespecting their struggle to eliminate the use of that word. When we advocate for lesser-known identities like asexuality, pansexuality and non-binary genders, they think we are just making up new words and new forms of oppression when they fought so hard just for basic recognition of the L, G, B and T. I think older LGBTQ folks need to recognize that queer young people of color exist.
NAME: Lance M. Coates III (Lacyy Coates)
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: trans woman, early transition stage
CAME OUT: 16
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I have received mixed reactions at various schools.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends have been supportive while the community as a whole has been very hostile to the point of gay bashing.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I have become more inspired to live my life openly by the girls at Casa Ruby.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Being able to be myself is the best part.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes, it was a very happy experience.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
They don’t really interact with us or teach us the ways.
Ebony Rempson (Photo courtesy of Ebony Rempson)
NAME: Ebony Rempson
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: 2009
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
In high school, it varied from shock and disgust to understanding.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
I had problems with my family at first, especially since I was outed by a family member but things got better. My friends have always been loving. Communities that I’ve found myself a part of have been great support systems and always served as places where I could seek validation.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I wouldn’t have had a chance to grow the way I did and share my unique story with people had I not been out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest part about being out as queer has been knowing that there is a third strike against me in the heteronormative and patriarchal society, strikes one and two being black and a woman.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes and it’s always positive. There’s nothing better than a sense of community.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we’re lazy and self absorbed.
NAME: Shantel Jordan
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: queer/trans
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
My close friends were very supportive. Some other students didn’t understand and made some pretty harsh comments.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Family was mixed — they were upset at first, but are now mostly supportive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The big benefit is being able to be myself. It’s very refreshing not to have to hide.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Hearing from people that God doesn’t like gay people. That was hard.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. I enjoyed it.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we just want to play on our phones and aren’t really serious about anything.
NAME: James Rosenstein
AGE: 15
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: 2014
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I had a number of people ask if I really thought I was gay or if it was a phase but most of my friends were great. They really accept me for me.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family has been really great. They wanted to talk a lot when I first told them, but they have always been very supportive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I get some comments from other students from time to time, but I’d still rather be out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Being able to be honest with my friends and parents.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. I liked it but I couldn’t stay for the entire thing.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That young people don’t want to be active in church. I am very active in my church but I understand that many LGBTQ young people don’t want to be.
NAME: Chance
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: gender queer
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Some people said I was the first queer person they had met. Some said they weren’t sure what queer was so I had to spend some time talking to people in my school. I don’t know if everyone was OK with the answer but most people seemed to be open-minded.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Most of my family is OK with it. I know I have some people who don’t like the fact that I’m not straight, but I’m OK with that.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The only downside has been hearing from friends that other people don’t want to hang out with me. That really sucks, but I’m still glad I came out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best part has been my relationship with my girlfriend. I don’t think we would be together if I wasn’t out.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did not.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I would say that some older people don’t really understand LGBTQ young people. I’ve had older people ask why I want to be called queer.
NAME: Maya Parker
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: freshman year of high school
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I wasn’t accepted at first as I was one of the first in my high school to come out. I got made fun of mainly by the boys. I figured they were jealous. It somehow was an inspiration to the other girls in the school as they began to come out as well.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family pretty much thought of it as a phase. I guess they have swept it under the rug. My friends didn’t like it too well. They started acting uncomfortable around me and not wanting to get dressed in front of me. People heard bisexual and figured I was looking at every woman that would walk past me. My community didn’t react much as I’m more on the feminine side. I’ve only really gotten reaction by my community if I was seen with a more dominant female.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I actually get to be myself. It gives me a sort of confidence where I can walk outside with my head high without feeling like I have a dark secret.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
People thinking you’re “playing both sides of the fence.” It’s hard to get a woman to understand that you’re serious about her when she knows you like men and with men, they can’t seem to get the thought of two women and themselves out of their heads.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
a&e features
Looking back at 50 years of Pride in D.C
Washington Blade’s unique archives chronicle highs, lows of our movement
To celebrate the 50th anniversary of LGBTQ Pride in Washington, D.C., the Washington Blade team combed our archives and put together a glossy magazine showcasing five decades of celebrations in the city. Below is a sampling of images from the magazine but be sure to find a print copy starting this week.
The magazine is being distributed now and is complimentary. You can find copies at LGBTQ bars and restaurants across the city. Or visit the Blade booth at the Pride festival on June 7 and 8 where we will distribute copies.
Thank you to our advertisers and sponsors, whose support has enabled us to distribute the magazine free of charge. And thanks to our dedicated team at the Blade, especially Photo Editor Michael Key, who spent many hours searching the archives for the best images, many of which are unique to the Blade and cannot be found elsewhere. And thanks to our dynamic production team of Meaghan Juba, who designed the magazine, and Phil Rockstroh who managed the process. Stephen Rutgers and Brian Pitts handled sales and marketing and staff writers Lou Chibbaro Jr., Christopher Kane, Michael K. Lavers, Joe Reberkenny along with freelancer and former Blade staffer Joey DiGuglielmo wrote the essays.
The magazine represents more than 50 years of hard work by countless reporters, editors, advertising sales reps, photographers, and other media professionals who have brought you the Washington Blade since 1969.
We hope you enjoy the magazine and keep it as a reminder of all the many ups and downs our local LGBTQ community has experienced over the past 50 years.
I hope you will consider supporting our vital mission by becoming a Blade member today. At a time when reliable, accurate LGBTQ news is more essential than ever, your contribution helps make it possible. With a monthly gift starting at just $7, you’ll ensure that the Blade remains a trusted, free resource for the community — now and for years to come. Click here to help fund LGBTQ journalism.
a&e features
In stressful times, escape to Rehoboth Beach
Here’s what’s new in D.C.’s favorite beach town for 2025
At last, after an uncharacteristically cold and snowy winter, another Rehoboth Beach season is upon us. I have been going to Rehoboth Beach since 1984, and it was the first place I went where people only knew me as a gay man. It was the year I came out. It was a summer community back then. Today it really is an exciting year-round community. But it’s still the summer season when Rehoboth shines, and when the businesses make most of their money.
The summer brings out tens of thousands of tourists, from day-trippers, to those with second homes at the beach. Everyone comes to the beach for the sun and sand, food, and drink. Some like to relax, others to party, and you can do both in Rehoboth Beach, Del.
Stop by CAMP Rehoboth, the LGBTQ community center on Baltimore Avenue, to get the latest updates on what is happening. CAMP sponsors Sunfestival each Labor Day weekend, and a huge block party on Baltimore Avenue in October. They train the Rehoboth Beach police on how to work with the LGBTQ community, and have all kinds of special and regularly scheduled events. Pick up a copy of their publication, Letters, which is distributed around town.
I asked Kim Leisey, CAMP’s executive director, for her thoughts, and she said, “CAMP Rehoboth looks forward to welcoming our friends and visitors to Rehoboth Beach. We are a safe space for our community and will be sponsoring social opportunities, art receptions, concerts, and art exhibits, throughout the summer. If you are planning a wedding, shower, reception, or business meeting, our beautiful atrium is available for rental. We look forward to a summer of solidarity and fun.” While at CAMP stop in the courtyard at a favorite place of mine, Lori’s Oy Vey! Café, and tryher famous chicken salad.
There’s something for everyone at the beach, from walking the boardwalk and eating Thrasher’s fries, to visiting Funland, or playing a game of miniature golf. Or head to some of the world-class restaurants like Drift, Eden, Blue Moon, or Back Porch.
Some random bits on the summer 2025 season. Prices are going up like everywhere else. Your parking meter will cost you $4 an hour. Meters are in effect May 15-Sept. 15. Parking permits for all the non-metered spaces in town are also expensive. Transferable permits are $365,non-transferable $295, or after Aug. 1 if you only come for the end of summer, it’s $165. Detailed information is available on the town’s website.
Rehoboth lost one of its best restaurant this off-season, JAM, but Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant is open for its fourth season. Owner Freddie Lutz told the Blade, “We are looking forward to a fabulous season. Freddie’s has a dance floor and is the only music video bar in town.” There is also live entertainment, karaoke, and Freddie’s Follies drag show Friday nights.
My favorite happy hour bar is Aqua Grill, which has reopened for the season. I recommend taking advantage of their great Tuesday Taco night, and Thursday burger night. Then there is The Pines and Top of the Pines. Bob Suppies of Second Block Hospitality told me, “Come, relax, and play. We are ready! I have been spending summers here since the mid-90’s, and Rehoboth Beach seems to age like a fine wine. Between the new, and favorite restaurants opening back up, the shops bursting with incredible finds, and all the great LGBTQ+ bars to entertain everyone, nowhere beats the Delaware beaches this summer.”
Head down the block on Baltimore Avenue and you get to La Fable restaurant. Go all the way to the beach and you will see the new lifeguard station, which is slated to open later this month. Also, demolition of the old hotel and north boardwalk Grotto Pizza has happened. The site will become a new four-story, 60-room hotel, with ground level retail space.
Then join me at my favorite morning place at the beach, The Coffee Mill, in the mews between Rehoboth and Baltimore Avenues, open every morning at 7 a.m. Owners Mel and Bob also have the Mill Creamery, the ice cream parlor in the mews, and Brashhh! on 1st street, where Mel sells his own clothing line, called FEARLESS! Then there is the ever-popular Purple Parrot, celebrating its 26th year, now with new owners Tyler Townsend and Drew Mitchell, who welcome you to their iconic place. It has only gotten better. If you head farther down Rehoboth Avenue you will find the Summer House with its upscale Libation Room, and a nice garden looking out on Rehoboth Avenue. Also on Rehoboth Avenue is Gidget’s Gadgets owned by the fabulous Steve Fallon. With the renewed interest in vinyl records you may want to stop in at Extended Play.
Then there is the always busy and fun, Diego’s Bar and Nightclub. Joe Zuber of Diego’s told the Blade, “Get ready for a great gay ole time in Rehoboth Beach. Plenty of entertainment, dancing and fun as we seem to be the next Stonewall generation with this newest administration. Each election brings its concerns about how our gay community will be affected. Come to Rehoboth Beach to escape this summer season!”
If you are in town for Sunday happy hour, make sure to stop there to hear the talented Pamala Stanley who is celebrating her 20th season entertaining in Rehoboth.And on Mondays, Stanley plays Broadway and other classics on the piano at Diego’s.
If you are looking for culture Rehoboth has some of that as well. There is the Clear Space Theatre on Baltimore Avenue. Rumors abound that Clear Space will move out of town. But I can’t believe the commissioners and mayor would be dumb enough to let that happen. This year’s shows include “Spring Awakening,” “Buyer + Cellar,” “Hairspray,” “Beautiful: The Carole King Musical,” and “RENT.”Tickets sell fast so I suggest you book early and they are available online. Then mark your calendars for Saturday, July 19 for Rehoboth Beach Pride 2025 at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention some of the other fine restaurants and clubs in town. Just a reminder, during season you often need dinner reservations. Come to the beach often enough, and you can try them all: Café Azafran, Dos Locos, Goolee’s Grille, Rigby’s, Frank and Louie’s, Above the Dunes, Mariachi, and Henlopen City Oyster House, and Red, White & Basil. And take a short drive to Dewey for breakfast or lunch at the Starboard; popular bartender Doug Moore (winner of the Blade’s Best Rehoboth-Area Bartender 2024 award) holds court at one of the inside bars, which has become a de facto gay bar on Saturdays.
One major development in the local dining scene last summer was the purchase of the Big Fish Restaurant Group by Baltimore-based Atlas Restaurant Group. Nearly a year later, not much has changed at the many Big Fish restaurants, although many locals are hoping for a renovation of Obie’s along with a gay night at the ocean-front bar/restaurant.
These are only a few of the fantastic places to eat and drink at the beach. Remember, book your reservations for hotels and restaurants, early. Rehoboth is a happening place and gets very busy.
We are living in stressful times. A visit to Rehoboth is a nice way to escape them for a while. Take the time to destress, enjoy the sun and sand. Take a stroll on the boardwalk and listen to the sound of the ocean, and people having fun. Enjoy good times, good food, good friends, and remember that life can still be good. Recharge your batteries for the rest of the year, by enjoying some summer fun in Rehoboth Beach.
a&e features
Down to shuck!
Oyster farmers Jordan Nally and fiancé Jimmy Kane on caring for Delaware’s waters — and sharing something special with customers
Although I didn’t come out to my family until my 20s, they should have seen the signs. During one of our annual trips to Indian Shores Beach in Florida, my parents splurged on a Polynesian dining adventure at the only tourist spot in town – Tiki Gardens. While waiting for our table, my sisters found a saltwater tank lined with oysters. For what felt like a fortune to an eight-year-old, a fisherman would shuck a pair and sift through the contents. Dressed in my floral Hawaiian shirt, my excitement turned to desperation when both of my sisters’ oysters revealed pearls. After much begging, my father reluctantly paid to have the small, oddly shaped gems mounted in rings. Watching my sisters flaunt their new jewelry, I seethed with envy and secretly vowed to return one day to claim my own treasure from the sea.
Nearly 50 years later, I’m a full-time resident of Rehoboth Beach, Del. It’s the Atlantic Ocean, not the Gulf of Mexico, but it’s close enough to Florida for me. As a local in a small coastal town, I’m keenly interested in how entrepreneurs are capitalizing on the growing tourism industry with innovative business ideas, so when I stumble across an Instagram page featuring two gay oyster farmers, Jordan Nally and his fiancé Jimmy Kane operating just a few miles away on Rehoboth Bay, my curiosity is piqued. After liking all the posts on the page, I slip into their DMs and ask whether we can meet for an interview. I’m delighted and a little nervous when they agree and invite me out on the boat to tour the farm and talk shellfish. Since everything I know about oysters came from a restaurant menu, I did some research.
Less than a week later, I arrive at the marina on Collins Avenue in Dewey on a picture-perfect morning in early May. Nally is waiting by his pickup truck, casually chatting up a couple of tourists. He’s a Delaware native and looks every bit like an oyster farmer in a long-sleeve, sweat-wicking shirt, PVC-coated shorts, and a branded baseball cap for sun protection. That’s all the more surprising given that Nally spent more than a decade working for JPMorgan Chase and had run for election to the Delaware House of Representatives in 2020.
As a good reporter, I’ve done my research: I know that the Inland Bays (made up of Rehoboth, Indian River, and Little Assawoman Bays) were once prolific oyster producers, with peak annual harvests reaching up to two million bushels. However, by the mid-20th century, overharvesting and a parasitic fungus drastically reduced the oyster populations. By 1960, the annual harvest had plummeted to just 49,000 bushels, marking a low point for the industry. In 2013, former Gov. Jack Markell signed legislation, and the commercial shellfish industry was reborn.
As we unload the flatbed of his EV pickup truck and transport the contents to the waiting boat, a retrofitted pontoon, “The Mullet,” Nally fills me in on his origin story. He came up with the idea to dive into aquaculture while he was quarantined in a hotel in Vermont with nothing but a TV and a local magazine with a cover story on oyster farming. He pitched the idea to his partner Jimmy Kane over the phone, and together they started planning how to make it happen. Nally jokes that what began as a fun “COVID project” quickly bloomed into a thriving business: “Some people did sourdough starter, but we decided to start an oyster farm.”
Although Kane is always there to lend a helping hand, Nally is the one who’s usually out tending the farm. Still, Nally stresses that Kane plays a critical support role: “He’s in charge of merchandising, running sales at the market, and grounding me when I have too many wild ideas.”
In April 2023, the couple planted their first batch of “oyster babies,” provided by the hatchery at the University of Delaware. At the time, they were still living full time in Wilmington, so the first year on the farm meant long drives, managing their day jobs from the car, launching the boat, and working for hours out on the bay before heading back home. Eventually, the capital investment and 14-hour days paid off; now, just two years later, they have 50 floating bags, each holding about 2,000 oysters.
Out on the open water, we see a half-dozen other oyster farms off in the distance. Despite the great weather, we’re the only boat on the bay. Standing confidently at the helm with his eyes fixed on the horizon, Nally gives me a quick biology tutorial on how oysters make it from the bay to the bar. Growers trigger spawning by adjusting water conditions to mimic spring, then feed the larvae specialized algae. After two to three weeks, the larvae develop an “eyespot” and are transferred to grow-out areas on the seabed or suspended bags. Oysters generally reach market size in 18 to 36 months, but the ideal conditions in Rehoboth Bay cut that time down to less than six months.
Nally opens the throttle and, in less time than I expected, we reach the place where the magic happens – the acre of water designated for Nancy James Oysters. Unconventional and bordering on camp, the couple came up with the moniker to honor their late parents. When I ask Nally to explain why they’ve stuck with the venture, his answer, like the name of their business, is personal: “Every single day, we learn something new. And every single oyster reminds us why we started: to grow sustainably, care deeply for our waters, and share something truly special with our customers.”
As we arrive at the oyster farm, Nally cuts the engines and explains the innovative farming technique Nancy James uses to grow its oysters; picture a series of mesh bags, buoyed by floats, and attached to a main line stretching across a tract of water and anchored at both ends. Growing oysters at the water’s surface allows Nally and Kane to capitalize on natural currents and food availability, resulting in faster growth rates and enhanced flavor profiles. The only downside to this growing technique is that the guys never find pearls because the insides of their oysters are cleaner than those of the bottom dwellers.
The farm is directly across from Bird Island, and the cacophony of 10,000 birds is even louder than the whirring sound from the propellers. After anchoring the boat, Nally casually strips down to his bathing suit and surf shoes and jumps into the 60-degree water without a second thought. It’s the ultimate cold plunge, but if he feels the cold, he doesn’t show it; there’s too much work to do.
“You ready to get dirty?”
The waters of Rehoboth Bay may be pristine, but Nally’s question and smirking grin reinforce the message that oyster farming is a messy business. The first order of the day is to change out the older bags to address biofouling — the attachment of seaweed and algae that can affect the health and inhibit growth of new oysters. Nally selects three gnarly bags and hauls them over to the boat. I pull one onto the deck. Once he’s back on board, we empty the first bag onto the cleaning table, and I feel my stomach lurch. Mixed in with small crabs and tiny shrimp, the oysters are covered in muck. Suddenly, I’m glad to be wearing a pair of rubber gloves.
Following instructions, I start sorting; chefs prefer smaller oysters with well-shaped shells. Trying not to get distracted by Nally’s stories and the ravenous flock of waiting sea birds floating above me, I count out four batches of 100 oysters for same-day delivery. Nally and Kane care about how their oysters taste and look. The boat has a portable generator, sump pump, and pressure washer to clean the shells thoroughly. Always ready to quote DNREC requirements scripture and verse, Nally explains that he has to use approved water, and the easiest way is to clean them with water from where they’re growing.
When I ask if it’s hard to comply with the federal and state requirements, like logging the exact time oysters go in and come out of the water, Nally shrugs and offers a surprisingly pragmatic answer: “Everyone on the bay is aware of safety and works together to comply. If anyone gets sick from shellfish, they don’t care where it came from; it will affect all of us. When you are eating oysters in Delaware that came from Delaware, I feel really confident about safety.”
After harvesting and storing the oysters on ice, Nally checks the currents and wind direction before jumping back into the water; he regularly inspects the bags, floats, securing lines, and clips to ensure everything is in working order. As the oysters grow, Nally and Kane move them into bags with progressively larger mesh sizes and mark each with color-coded zip ties to indicate their growth stage. As they mature, the oysters are thinned out and spread across more bags to prevent overcrowding. It’s hard work, but at the end of the day, the two men are proud of what they’ve built together.
Nally explains that the warm temperatures, sandy bottoms, and high salinity of Rehoboth Bay are ideal. Still, not all farm sites are created equal: “The water here tastes different than the water on that side of the bay. It’s the fetch you’re getting from waves, all the swell, and the current. We have a really strong current on this side, and that side doesn’t, so they’re not as salty.”
Although Rehoboth Bay is known for its shallow depths and typically calm waters, aquafarming is still risky. Nally recalled a harrowing incident last winter when his lines got tangled in the boat’s propeller. Rough weather and a hefty chop made it hard to keep the boat steady. Determined to free the line, he put on his wetsuit and plunged into the frigid water. As a safety measure, he shared his location via iPhone with Kane and told him that if the location stopped moving, Nally was in the water and Kane should call the Coast Guard.
On another occasion, Nally slipped on a wet deck and hit his head — an accident reminiscent of what happened to poor Jennifer Coolidge in “White Lotus.” Fortunately, he fell into the boat rather than overboard. He takes no chances now, wearing a special life vest that automatically inflates if he falls into the bay.
Nally and Kane are the only local farmers offering premium catering services, bringing the freshest oysters and top-notch shuckers to events such as weddings and birthday parties. Nancy James Oysters can also be enjoyed at local restaurants, including Drift Seafood & Raw Bar and Lewes Oyster House. You can find them in person at the Bethany Farmers Market and the Historic Lewes Farmers Market. This summer, the couple will be shucking oysters live every Sunday afternoon at Aqua Bar & Grill. Oysters are always available for purchase online at nancyjamesoysters.com.
It’s another beautiful day when I make the short trip to town and park just outside Drift on Baltimore Avenue. Grabbing an empty seat at the outside bar window, I order without looking at the menu (at Drift, ask for the “Rehoboth Rose” oyster). In less time than it takes to check my phone, there are a dozen premium oysters in front of me — bedded in a tray of crushed ice, just waiting to be devoured.
Savoring the poetry of the presentation, I lift a shell to my mouth and slurp down the meat in one swallow. The taste is pure Delaware. Tom Wiswell, the former executive chef at Drift, describes it best: “It reminds me of being a kid at Rehoboth Beach and like a wave splashing you in the face. It’s fresh, briny, and salty.”
As I enjoy a swallow of a good glass of Cava and reach for another oyster, I realize why these exotic delicacies were dubbed “white gold.” Nearly a half-century older and wiser than that kid in the Hawaiian shirt at Tiki Gardens, I’ve finally realized that the hidden treasure inside the oyster was never the pearl.
Sinners and Saints bar vandalized in suspected anti-LGBTQ hate crime
The true cost of cutting DEI
Trans performer, juggler premiering one-woman show
Indian Supreme Court orders government to reconsider trans blood donor policy
Adams Morgan queer bar broken into and vandalized
Looking back at 50 years of Pride in D.C
Wes Moore signs HIV decriminalization bill
D.C. Black Pride 2025: Events, parties, and empowerment
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s bill to criminalize gender affirming care advances
Frank Kameny’s legacy lives on
-
a&e features3 days agoLooking back at 50 years of Pride in D.C
-
Maryland4 days agoWes Moore signs HIV decriminalization bill
-
District of Columbia4 days agoD.C. Black Pride 2025: Events, parties, and empowerment
-
Congress4 days agoMarjorie Taylor Greene’s bill to criminalize gender affirming care advances