a&e features
Young and proud
20 youths reflect on coming out early and misconceptions about millennials
(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Youth Pride will be here soon. LGBT young people from all over the D.C. area will spend Saturday, May 2 from noon-5 p.m. in Dupont Circle enjoying performances, games, speakers, testimonials and more (details at youthpridealliance.org).
To celebrate this year’s event, Washington Blade staff teamed up with SMYAL to profile 20 local youths 20 and under. Their perspectives encompass the full range of queer teen experience from bullying and harassment to acceptance and joy.
Carolyn Kidd (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Carolyn Kidd
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: Maryland
ID AS: genderqueer/queer
CAME OUT: senior year of high school
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
The reaction of my peers has mostly been positive. However when I attended Duquesne University, a Catholic university in Pittsburgh, I experienced bigotry and “aversion” to “the gay lifestyle.” At St. Mary’s College of Maryland, I experienced a kind of gay euphoria and was accepted … and was able to start a club for trans students.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends reacted positively, however my parents were concerned about how being out would impact my future.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
There have been no overt downsides to being out, but hearing people openly badmouth the LGBT community is hard.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest is constantly being misgendered whether it’s being called “sir,” “young lady” or using the wrong pronouns.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That trans people are cross dressers and confused. Trans folks are often excluded.
Jason Adle (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Jason Adle
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Gaithersburg, Md.
ID AS: gay
CAME OUT: 2010-ish
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
The reaction at school has been neutral at worst and encouraging at best. For the most part, encouraging and supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
By and large, supportive and positive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The main benefit is that there is no stress to not be yourself. You can be you to the Nth degree.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The worst part is having to deal with those who you did not want to know your identity at a certain time. But on the flip side, it is absolutely great not having to feel trapped in being something you’re not.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. It was a great time to hang out with friends and meet new people and learn about/interact with organizations that were helping further the cause.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think the biggest disconnect is how aware Millennials appear to be in regard to LGBT history. We may not have lived in certain parts of LGBT history, but we are well aware of the events that have led to today.
Azariah Kurlantzick (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key.
NAME: Azariah Kurlantzick
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Potomac, Md.
ID AS: queer/trans boy
CAME OUT: May 2011 as bi (in seventh grade); summer 2012 as transgender, just before ninth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
When I first came out as bi, I was attending a Jewish day school so it was sometimes weird for me when taking part in class discussions on whether homosexuality is a sin, but reactions were generally fine. I was still at that school when I came out as transgender and I did encounter some people who refused to use my new name and pronouns, but with the help of Keshet, a Jewish LGBT organization, I was met with support.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends have been very accepting and although my Jewish community had a bad reaction initially, it has become more positive. Now that I’m attending public school for the first time in 11th grade, I hear a lot of homophobic slurs directed at me in class and in the halls, but whenever I talk to people, they seem accepting.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
A big benefit of being out is that I feel more comfortable now exploring my gender presentation. Before, I felt the need to present as very masculine so that people might read me as a girl. Now, though, I feel more comfortable doing things like dying my hair pink because I can assume that most people do not see me as a girl.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best part is that I am now part of a wonderful community that I wouldn’t have access to were I still in the closet.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
It was a good event, but adults there kept referring to the trans people I was with as ladies.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That there are fewer of us than there actually are and that all of us are cisgender.
Carly Carter (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Carly Carter
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Herndon, Va.
ID AS: lesbian/queer
CAME OUT: March 26, 2014
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Not a huge one. People were surprised but otherwise I didn’t get a lot of response. Occasionally, I hear a mean comment, but usually people are really supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends are great! I could not have picked better friends. Most of us are queer actually, so that works out great. My mom and dad are still adjusting. … they have overall been crazy supportive. Not a mean word has ever come out of their mouths.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Getting to be more open and honest with people is a huge plus. Also meeting a bunch of queer friends whom I love being in touch with. I would never have met them had I not been out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
There are challenges with everything — being out is not an exception.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I didn’t know about it.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we have it easy or that the hardships they had to face are gone now.
Autumn Smith (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Autumn Smith
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: male
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
That I was “cool for being a gay guy” except when I wore women’s jewelry.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family doesn’t talk about it. Friends are cool and it’s all good until I wear a dress.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Oh yes!
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Harassment, weird looks.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! It was amazing as always.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That our struggles can’t compare with theirs.
LC (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: LC (Lauren Collins)
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Herndon, Va.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: eighth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Mixed — positive from close friends, but neutral to negative from the student body.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Mom has come around and is supportive now. Dad said a couple insensitive things but he’s always supported me. My church and community are pretty OK with it.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Being able to interact with openly queer friends and being able to share my relationships publicly. Downsides are backlash at school and it’s harder to fly under the radar.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Feeling like a representative for all queer people.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
N/A
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we’re just “confused” or saying we’re queer or trans just because it’s “trendy.”
Katie Barack (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Katie Barack
AGE: 19
RESIDENCE: McLean, Va.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: April 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I’ve been accepted by the community as someone who could fall in love with someone of any gender. However, I go to a “same-sex” boarding school, so all of my gender questioning has been pretty private. I’ve had to give a lot of advice to underclassmen. I love the leadership role and being the only out student has made me find an incredible community.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family is very supportive. While my friends at school are supportive, my friends from home in the Midwest can be very ignorant and tend to make me feel “other.”
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I feel excluded often and school dances are awkward. In my tux, I’m called “sharp” while all the other students in dresses are called “gorgeous.”
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
I’ve found a community I would never trade. I love finding other queer people. Questioning my gender is something I’ve only recently come out about. It sucks that my high school diploma probably won’t have the name I use on it. I wish I could use the right pronouns and name, but I’m at an all-girls school. I’ve had to work my ass off to get us to be aware of transgender students and the need for accommodating policies.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
Transgender people are viewed as outsiders of the community by the older generation. Cultural intersectionality is ignored.
Lia Warner (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Lia Warner
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Chesapeake, Va.
ID AS: lesbian
CAME OUT: 14
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I was really lucky to be a member of a very accepting track and cross-country team, so in the locker room, I felt a lot safer than I anticipated. But I still heard homophobic slurs and comments elsewhere at school.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My parents have been overwhelmingly supportive as have my friends. Many members of the community as well, but that’s not to say it’s been 100 percent positive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
A benefit would be, of course, the ability to be myself and be true to my identity with those I love. The downside, where I live is overwhelmingly homophobic and discriminatory.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest — when people look at me in a different and negative light. The best — my ability to be myself publicly and help others in my GSA.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I did not know about SMYAL or that event. I did go to Hampton Roads Pride, which was fabulous.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
They believe this is a phase or that we’re somehow a mistake.
Rico Jones (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Rico Jones
AGE: 15
RESIDENCE: none given
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: This year
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Mixed — happiness from some who were proud of me, but also a lot of bullying most of the time. I’ve been called a lot of names and picked on by many others.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends were all by my side and have wished me happiness and the best of luck.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Benefits: happy to have found myself in so many ways, love and freedom. Downsides: bullying.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Bullying and the feeling that people think because you’re gay, you think you deserve special rights or treatment.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No, I wish I had.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
Being myself and being free and showing other people that we can be the change.
Sasha Jarvis (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Sasha Jarvis
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Derwood, Md.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: ninth grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Neutral
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
I’ve had a pretty positive reaction. The first person I came out to was my friend Kathryn and it felt so nice until she decided she had to tell her mom. So that was super uncomfortable because I wasn’t even out to my own parents. My favorite thing was when I casually dropped the word “girlfriend” without getting any kind of extreme response. That was affirming.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I haven’t really felt any downsides personally but it is rewarding to not be sitting quietly and letting homophobes slide out of fear of judgment.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
It’s annoying to hear hetero-normative language from people close to me. Like hearing my mom say my sisters and I should live alone or with a girlfriend (as in a female friend) before getting married. It hurts to not have my identity respected, even in small ways.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! I love being able to share my queer community life with my school friends.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think the biggest misconception is that we’re all just following trends.
Gavin Calvin (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Gavin Calvin
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Clarksburg, Md.
ID AS: transgender
CAME OUT: 8th grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Very supportive and loving.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
They were not surprised and supported me fully.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Strangers not understanding my choices and judging.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
I’m more comfortable around my peers and am happier living as who I truly am.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
(My generation) seems to think LGBT Boomers are reckless and carefree. My experience with Gen. Xers is that they think how we are is a choice and is wrong.
Erika Johnson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Erika Johnson
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Clinton, Md.
ID AS: lesbian
CAME OUT: 9th grade
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I received a pretty positive reaction from my friends and teachers. A lot of my friends were shocked and surprised but very supportive.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family on the other hand, doesn’t really understand. Most of them don’t know I’m out, but the few I trust fully support.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The benefit of being out is that there are so many people I can relate to on a personal level. Being out has given me the spunk to go forth with my advocacy. The downside of being out is that not a lot of people fully understand my new points. Coming out in the ninth grade has been very stressful because I still feel like I’m hiding.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest part about being out is that it is hard trying to express myself in front of people. I’m partially in the closet and partially not. The best part is that I can come to SMYAL and feel like the true me. SMYAL has made this process 100 percent easier. There are still some obstacles I have to get over, but I am a strong woman who can do anything.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes! It was amazing. It was a pleasure meeting more SMYAL folks and getting to learn about queer youth experiences.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we spend too much time “complaining” about what we need when we are really just speaking the truth.
Selvi Ulusan (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Selvi Ulusan
AGE: 16
RESIDENCE: Bethesda, Md.
ID AS: queer/bi
CAME OUT: June 20, 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Surprise mostly. I don’t think everyone knows quite yet actually. I don’t tell everyone I meet automatically but if anyone asks, I tell them the truth.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My friends were very supportive. My family kind of already saw it coming but my little sister was great. So nice!
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
Benefits: I am who I am and people knowing doesn’t change that, but they just know a little bit more about me. Downsides: there was a lot of “are you sure?” or just “weirded out” reactions. Some people just didn’t believe me, but that’s not my problem.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Hardest: That I feel like I have to keep coming out every time I tell someone else. Best is letting people know a little more of who I am.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I have been to the Capital Pride parade and festival the last two years, but not Youth Pride. The first year I went to Pride, it was amazing. I met a girl who made all of my unanswered questions about myself incredibly clear.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That it’s just a choice or just how you feel and that you can only be attracted to one gender.
Temitayo Wolff (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
NAME: Temitayo Wolff
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: queer girl (panromantic, grey-asexual)
CAME OUT: beginning of 11th grade/end of 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Within a specific community, I’ve received so much love and support. My friend group is super gay. I haven’t received much open hostility. Some people have a lot of questions.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My mom wishes I would stop saying words like “pansexual,” which she never heard. I think she accepts my identity even though it doesn’t make sense to her. My dad is also a little confused but he is supportive of my identity, activism and presentation. I have a much younger sister and I think coming out has made her more accepting and socially aware.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I’ve been really lucky to experience more benefits than downsides when I came out. Coming out provided me with a community of really supportive queer friends online and in D.C. The main downside is tension with my mother.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best — my queer-platonic partner and my girlfriend.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did attend and had a lot of fun. I appreciate Youth Pride as a space that doesn’t have alcohol and nearly as many people as Capital Pride. However a lot of my friends were consistently misgendered both by peers and by adults who were running the programs, which was disappointing that an event that is supposed to be safe for trans people makes assumptions about people’s gender and reinforces that non-existent binary.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I think older folks feel like we are undermining a lot of the work they did with our own activism. When we use social media as a platform for advocacy, they think we are being lazy or unproductive. When we reclaim “queer” as a self-identifier, they think we are disrespecting their struggle to eliminate the use of that word. When we advocate for lesser-known identities like asexuality, pansexuality and non-binary genders, they think we are just making up new words and new forms of oppression when they fought so hard just for basic recognition of the L, G, B and T. I think older LGBTQ folks need to recognize that queer young people of color exist.
NAME: Lance M. Coates III (Lacyy Coates)
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: trans woman, early transition stage
CAME OUT: 16
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I have received mixed reactions at various schools.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family and friends have been supportive while the community as a whole has been very hostile to the point of gay bashing.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I have become more inspired to live my life openly by the girls at Casa Ruby.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Being able to be myself is the best part.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes, it was a very happy experience.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
They don’t really interact with us or teach us the ways.
Ebony Rempson (Photo courtesy of Ebony Rempson)
NAME: Ebony Rempson
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: 2009
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
In high school, it varied from shock and disgust to understanding.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
I had problems with my family at first, especially since I was outed by a family member but things got better. My friends have always been loving. Communities that I’ve found myself a part of have been great support systems and always served as places where I could seek validation.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I wouldn’t have had a chance to grow the way I did and share my unique story with people had I not been out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The hardest part about being out as queer has been knowing that there is a third strike against me in the heteronormative and patriarchal society, strikes one and two being black and a woman.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
Yes and it’s always positive. There’s nothing better than a sense of community.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we’re lazy and self absorbed.
NAME: Shantel Jordan
AGE: 17
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: queer/trans
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
My close friends were very supportive. Some other students didn’t understand and made some pretty harsh comments.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Family was mixed — they were upset at first, but are now mostly supportive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The big benefit is being able to be myself. It’s very refreshing not to have to hide.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Hearing from people that God doesn’t like gay people. That was hard.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. I enjoyed it.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That we just want to play on our phones and aren’t really serious about anything.
NAME: James Rosenstein
AGE: 15
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: queer
CAME OUT: 2014
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I had a number of people ask if I really thought I was gay or if it was a phase but most of my friends were great. They really accept me for me.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family has been really great. They wanted to talk a lot when I first told them, but they have always been very supportive.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I get some comments from other students from time to time, but I’d still rather be out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
Being able to be honest with my friends and parents.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did. I liked it but I couldn’t stay for the entire thing.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
That young people don’t want to be active in church. I am very active in my church but I understand that many LGBTQ young people don’t want to be.
NAME: Chance
AGE: 18
RESIDENCE: Arlington, Va.
ID AS: gender queer
CAME OUT: 2013
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
Some people said I was the first queer person they had met. Some said they weren’t sure what queer was so I had to spend some time talking to people in my school. I don’t know if everyone was OK with the answer but most people seemed to be open-minded.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
Most of my family is OK with it. I know I have some people who don’t like the fact that I’m not straight, but I’m OK with that.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
The only downside has been hearing from friends that other people don’t want to hang out with me. That really sucks, but I’m still glad I came out.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
The best part has been my relationship with my girlfriend. I don’t think we would be together if I wasn’t out.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
I did not.
6. What is the biggest misconception LGBT Boomers and Gen Xers have about LGBT Millennials?
I would say that some older people don’t really understand LGBTQ young people. I’ve had older people ask why I want to be called queer.
NAME: Maya Parker
AGE: 20
RESIDENCE: D.C.
ID AS: bisexual
CAME OUT: freshman year of high school
1. What kind of reaction have you received being out at school?
I wasn’t accepted at first as I was one of the first in my high school to come out. I got made fun of mainly by the boys. I figured they were jealous. It somehow was an inspiration to the other girls in the school as they began to come out as well.
2. How have your family, friends and community reacted?
My family pretty much thought of it as a phase. I guess they have swept it under the rug. My friends didn’t like it too well. They started acting uncomfortable around me and not wanting to get dressed in front of me. People heard bisexual and figured I was looking at every woman that would walk past me. My community didn’t react much as I’m more on the feminine side. I’ve only really gotten reaction by my community if I was seen with a more dominant female.
3. Have there been any benefits/downsides to being out?
I actually get to be myself. It gives me a sort of confidence where I can walk outside with my head high without feeling like I have a dark secret.
4. What’s been the hardest or best part of being out?
People thinking you’re “playing both sides of the fence.” It’s hard to get a woman to understand that you’re serious about her when she knows you like men and with men, they can’t seem to get the thought of two women and themselves out of their heads.
5. Did you go to Youth Pride last year?
No
a&e features
The queer Asian comics building collective joy in D.C.
Spotlighting chaotic ways family, romance, identity take shape in their lives
Kevin Chen’s family tombstone has room for four: him, his parents and his boyfriend. The arrangement might prove to be a little awkward.
“My boyfriend is 100% white, and my parents are 100% disappointed,” Chen confessed.
Jokes about family traditions and the untraditional ways they’re practiced earned a burst of laughs at the bar where Chen was opening for the Pride Comedy Special. The D.C. stand-up event, produced by Comedy Bonfyre last month, spotlighted queer Asian comics who shared the chaotic ways family, romance and identity take shape in their lives.
From candid oral sex takes to top surgery hypotheticals like “Where do the boobs go?”, the night highlighted the loud camaraderie of the queer Asian experience — one that sounds like a cacophony of snorts, cackles and belly laughs. While the comics say they are not quite a community, there’s more than enough shared material to bring them together.
“It was such a magical experience. I loved performing in a queer API lineup. It feels so validating,” Chen said after the show. “I’m wondering, ‘Is this how white men feel all the time?’”
Each performance evoked queer Asian joy through a medium that could use more of its presence.
According to Chen, who is based in D.C., it’s hard to say whether there is a true queer Asian comedy presence in his city. There are only a scattered “handful” of Asian comics, and people of color are underrepresented in queer comic circles, he said.
When Tarunika Anand, a nonbinary lesbian comic, first entered the mainstream D.C. comedy scene, they mostly encountered straight white men, describing the experience as “a culture shock.”
“I feel like sometimes a lot of queer spaces are really white, and then a lot of Asian spaces are really straight,” Anand said. “I don’t feel like I fit into either.”
But feeling marginalized didn’t stop these comics from honing their craft and creating spaces for others like them. Alex Kim, who headlined the special and is based in Brooklyn, runs the queer Asian comedy group Boba Gays, which began on WhatsApp and has since made its way to Lincoln Center.
Every Wednesday, Anand co-produces a free comedy show called Funny Side Up. The queer-led group focuses on inclusivity and showcasing new talent.
“It’s really beautiful to speak about your experience and your existence in a way that’s uplifting,” Anand said.
Family is a major throughline of their comedic repertoires.
Chen, for instance, shared that he identifies with jokes about having Asian immigrant parents and the expectations they pass down.
“You see me, you know this part about me, you know this experience intimately, and I can see the truth that you’re trying to wrap a joke around,” he said. “That hits even harder because that’s my truth too. I think that’s what makes good comedy.”
Anand had the audience at the special howling when they explained that their parents’ be-more-like-them comparisons didn’t end when they came out. Instead, the expectations took on a new form.
“Now, my parents want me to be the best gay,” Anand said. “They’re like, ‘Do you know Ellen DeGeneres?’”
Kim said he’s been trying to unlearn things from his Christian Korean mom. Yet he described a moment when he was getting ready for the club and realized he looked just like his mother getting ready for church.
“I’ve been finding it hard to escape her,” Kim said.
Mutual recognition also radiates through the different ways queer love can take shape. From singlehood to death-do-us-part commitments, the comics cover just about every corner.
Anand is holding out hope for settling down with “a nice, pretty, Indian girl.” They recently went through a breakup and said they felt they dodged a bullet.
“As a person of color, I just don’t think I should be with a Swiftie,” they said.
Chen, touching on what it’s like to be in a queer interracial relationship, said that meeting his white boyfriend’s baby nephew for the first time felt like he was forced to participate in a diversity, equity and inclusion training.
“The dad was like, ‘Please welcome Kevin. Be curious about his culture, his history, his foods,’” Chen joked.
Laughter is not the only reward for the comics.
To Anand, comedy is a space where they can say whatever they want. “It gives me a voice,” they said.
Nik Narain, a North Carolina-based trans and nonbinary South Asian comic who performed at the special, said meeting older trans comedians and taking the stage helped him feel reassured in his identity during his transition.
“Stand-up was a really cool way to process that onstage,” he said. “[It] became a way for me to repackage my thoughts.”
Queer Asians are still figuring out their place in the greater D.C. comedy scene. The group is small in numbers and many are still working toward a full-time comedy career. But Narain feels he’s already made it.
Narain is reluctant to pin it all on one moment. He feels that success is already peeking through in milestones — opening for celebrities, traveling to performances and self-producing shows.
“As long as I can keep doing this, I’m super happy,” he said.
This story was produced as part of the AAJA VOICES fellowship program, a student journalism project of the Asian American Journalists Association (AAJA).
a&e features
Mr. Henry’s celebrates 60 years of proud inclusivity
Capitol Hill staple remains ‘a caring community’
America’s 250th isn’t the only milestone birthday D.C. is celebrating this year.
Beloved D.C. restaurant Mr. Henry’s, that Capitol Hill staple, celebrates its Diamond Jubilee all year long. Named for its original owner Henry Yaffe, the restaurant opened on a warm day 60 years ago in the summer of 1966 and has never looked back.
Yaffe took over what was then a country western restaurant, renovated the interior to his liking, and created an institution. Yet Yaffe had another goal. As a gay man, “he created Mr. Henry’s to be a place where everyone felt welcome — not easy in 1966 — and he succeeded,” says current owner Mary Quillian.
“Mr. Henry’s has long been a place the LGBTQ community has supported because they felt and still feel welcomed,” says Quillian. Even in the current administration, “the gay community and the diversity-minded community continue to come.”
Since then, Mr. Henry’s has changed hands, opened and closed its second floor, welcomed famed musical acts, and played host to politicians, date nights, breakups, and birthdays. But it still feels like home (and has a note in the National Trust for Historic Preservation) at 601 Pennsylvania Ave., S.E.
Its wood-paneled, Victorian-inspired art-filled décor in the downstairs dining room and bar serves American pub fare for lunch and dinner daily, with brunch on weekends (and a dog-friendly patio). Upstairs, Mr. Henry’s hosts live jazz performances and special events most nights, continuing a musical tradition that has defined the venue for decades. That upstairs bar has played host to names like Roberta Flack and Woody Allen.
Musician Kevin Cordt said that, “Mr. Henry’s has been a part of my life for more than 30 years. I started as a customer, then became a bartender and server, and now I have the good fortune to play trumpet at one of the best live music venues in Washington, D.C.”
Aaron Myers, executive director of the D.C. Commission on the Arts and Humanities, is also a supporter. “Not many cities can sport venues that have consistently served the community in the space of culture for more than 50 years, let alone can brag as the birthplace of culture defining talent.”
From the start, Yaffe promoted a rare yet celebrated combination of locals’ bar and soulful nightlife venue. Mr. Henry’s has attracted a diverse crowd at a time when such spaces were – and perhaps still are – uncommon, a diversity that is credited with helping protect the pub during the 1968 D.C. riots.
Longtime customer Evelyn Branic said, “Mr. Henry’s has been my ‘Cheers’ hangout since my wife and I moved to the Hill in 1987. I’ve experienced many iconic moments meeting politicians, reporters, civic activists, and neighbors engaging in spirited conversations. Whether political, LGBTQ, historians, neighbors, or out-of-towners, everyone could find a special place to be greeted as a friend.”
Its welcoming tables come dabbed with a bit of tea: In 1971, in a moment that has since become part of Capitol Hill lore, Yaffe lost the pub in a poker game to Larry Quillian. The Quillian family, recognizing the special role Mr. Henry’s played in the neighborhood, took over ownership, and committed to preserving its spirit. Today, Larry’s daughter Mary owns the bar, having given it a bit of a facelift for the bar’s 50th birthday, bringing in new tables and some fresh menu items.
For example, the menu has some of those dishes that regulars would riot if they disappeared. The Reuben and the hamburgers, the chili and in-house roasted turkey have never departed the menu. Dishes do evolve, says Quillen: they added wings about two decades ago.
In 2026, the restaurant is hosting monthly ticketed “decades” parties, celebrating each of the 10-year periods the restaurant’s been open, plus there were specials in June for Pride. The official 60th anniversary gala takes place Aug. 29, featuring performers, beverages, timeless favorite foods, swag – and the unveiling of a new cocktail.
Inclusive, eccentric, eclectic, Mr. Henry’s is looking forward to maintaining its centrality to diverse crowds in Capitol Hill. Battling inflation, rising menu prices, changing tastes, and thin margins, Quillian says that Mr. Henry’s has — and will always be — “a caring community for so many different folks. And THAT is why I am committed to keeping us going. Society needs places like Mr. Henry’s, now more than ever.”
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Television loses a legend, longtime ‘Will & Grace’ director James Burrows
Iconic hitmaker leaves behind a legacy of telling LGBTQ stories
You don’t have to be a pretentious film major to name 10 movie directors. But naming television directors is not that simple. They’re the unsung heroes of your favorite shows, and the late James Burrows was the television director. He passed on June 19, but his DNA runs through television history.
He directed over 1200 episodes of television and over 50 pilots. He co-created “Cheers” and directed many episodes of long-running series like “Friends,” “Taxi,” “Frasier,” “The Big Bang Theory,” and “Two and a Half Men.” You also may remember him from playing a heightened version of himself on the Lisa Kudrow comedy “The Comeback.”
He has left an indelible mark on the LGBTQ community. As recently as last year, he directed the series run of “Mid-Century Modern” starring Nathan Lane, Matt Bomer, and Linda Lavin. He was also a longtime director of “Will & Grace” and directed every episode of the series revival. He even directed the unaired “Absolutely Fabulous” pilot with Kathryn Hahn, Kristen Johnston, and Zosia Mamet.
Not to mention he’s worked with queer icons throughout history, including Betty White and Stockard Channing on their single-season series, and Jennifer Coolidge in “2 Broke Girls.”
He started his career on shows like “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “Rhoda,” “Laverne & Shirley,” and the first four seasons of “Taxi.”
He continued to work steadily and directed successful pilots that went to series for “Roc,” “3rd Rock From the Sun,” “Dharma & Greg,” and “Wings.” He directed multiple episodes of “Friends,” “Caroline in the City,” and “Frasier.”
This magic continued into the 2000s with him directing the pilots for “Two and a Half Men,” “The Big Bang Theory,” and multiple episodes of “Mike & Molly,” and the entire return series of “Will & Grace.”
What was the secret to his success? He’d enact the “fun clause” in his contract. In his words, “Life is too short to deal with obnoxious leads,” he shared. “So as long as the writing is good and the cast is fun, I’m going to enjoy the experience.”
He had the magic touch, having multiple pilots turned into long-running series. He was nominated for an Emmy 24 times in 26 years and worked consistently until a year before his death.
The secret was the way he brought the cast together. He describes, “it was my job to mold them into an ensemble, and they did round into a group of people who loved each other.”
This earned him 11 Emmy Awards and five Directors Guild of America Awards, including being awarded the inaugural DGA’s Lifetime Achievement Award for Television Direction.
In a 2003 interview by the Television Academy, he was asked how he wants to be remembered, and he said, “That every night forever you can tune in somewhere, and there’ll be a show I did.”
He’s survived by his wife, Debbie, four daughters, seven grandchildren, and the countless people whose careers he launched and the countless viewers he inspired with his television legacy.
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