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40 Under 40: Queer women of Washington

Celebrating some of the city’s up-and-coming change agents

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The Washington Blade, in partnership with the Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs and the Office of Women’s Policies and Initiatives, is proud to present: 40 Queer Women of Washington.

Here we celebrate some of the city’s many inspiring queer women who are the voices of change from a diverse group of industries. Nominations came from our readers; that list was then trimmed to the 40 queer women profiled here. Come meet the 40 Under 40 at a special event on Wednesday, March 27, 6-9 p.m. at the Google office at 25 Massachusetts Avenue. Get tickets online via the Blade’s Facebook page.

(Photo courtesy of the Washington Mystics)

Name: Washington Mystics

Occupation: Professional basketball team WNBA

Passion: Compete at the highest level on the court and bring a WNBA Championship to Washington. We play to excite, inspire and unite the D.C. community — all eight wards. Our passion for the game and this city is reflected in the memory-making experiences we strive to provide to our fans each game day. We invite all to celebrate and share in these moment with us. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Demonstrating fearless character will lead to your success. Tapping into the power of unified strength that comes with a sisterhood gives you the ability to overcome any challenge or adversity. We are a part of the community we represent and you are a part of us. Celebrate the power and beauty of being a woman. 

Amina Brown (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Amina Brown

Occupation: DJ

Passion: Being an entertainer/DJing

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? My mother told me I would grow up and have my own business when I was in the fourth grade. I would give young women the same advice that was given to me and it changed the trajectory of my life: “Fall in love with something you enjoy doing and turn it into a business!”

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? I thinks it’s important for women to be represented in the high ranks of corporations and politics. During my speaking engagements at schools, I always encourage our young girls to reach for the stars and never think that gender makes them inadequate in any industry.

Bela Muney (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Bela Muney

Occupation: External affairs team

Passion: Helping others in need.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Never give up on your hopes and dreams. The sky is the limit.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? It means we’re all here and queer!

Be Steadwell (Photo courtesy of Be Steadwell)

Name: Be Steadwell

Occupation: Musician

Passion: My passion is for telling stories that make queer black folks feel seen and affirmed.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Someone out there needs to hear your story.  Tell it with sincerity, vulnerability and it will change someone’s life.  

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Black women at the center of leadership and politics is exactly what our country and our world needs. I believe the most marginalized communities have the perspective and incentive to look out for all people. Though I don’t agree with everything our mayor does, I’m proud to have her as a leader for our city. 

Elizabeth Lindsey (Photo courtesy of Byte Back)

Name: Elizabeth Lindsey

Occupation: Executive director, Byte Back

Passion: Leading an organization that helps people from all backgrounds thrive in the digital economy.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Be true to who you are. When we’re ourselves, when others see us being authentic and real, there’s nothing we can’t do. There’s such a confidence that comes from using our strengths and doing work that feels natural to us. And if someone — an employer, an investor, a partner — doesn’t want us for who we are, then they’re not the right fit for us. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? As a queer woman of color, a parent and a leader in the nonprofit sector, I am inspired every day by Mayor Bowser and the other women in D.C. leading our city. It is such a privilege for me to hardly ever be the “only” in D.C. — I’m rarely the only woman, or person of color, or member of the LGBTQ community in a room. And I’m thrilled to raise my daughters in a city like this. 

Raffi Freedman-Gurspan (Photo courtesy of NCTE)

Name: Raffi Freedman-Gurspan

Occupation: Director of external relations, National Center for Transgender Equality

Passion: Social justice and equal opportunity for those who have been most marginalized and historically oppressed including black people, Latinx people, indigenous peoples, women and feminine presenting individuals, LGBTQ folks, people living with disabilities and religious and ethnic minorities in the United States. My passion is to create a better world for all.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Remember to laugh, remember to have a good cry once in a while and remember to hug those you care for and remind them why they are important to you. Being a strong woman requires knowing yourself, being honest with yourself and asking for the compassionate support you deserve from those whom you love. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Having a woman of color mayor as a woman of color myself is tremendously moving, inspirational and something I proudly share with people about our city. Mayor Bowser has been such a great friend of the LGBTQ community and as a queer woman I am proud to live in her city. 

Tiara Gendi (Photo courtesy of Tiara Gendi)

Name: Tiara Gendi

Occupation: Community organizer/trans activist

Passion: Black liberation and protection of LGBTQ+ youth

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? In a world that is designed against you, dare to be unapologetically you and do your part.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Being a black trans and immigrant woman, having a black woman mayor means there is platform to leverage the safety and meaningful participation of queer women in decision-making processes.

Alesia Lucas (Photo by Carletta G.)

Name: Alesia Lucas

Occupation: National digital manager

Passion: Connecting people

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? 1. Always trust your instincts. 2. Have an idea? Don’t wait for someone else to do it. Go for it. 3. Own your “no”; you don’t have to be anywhere or do anything you don’t want to. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? As a native Washingtonian, having a woman lead our city inspirers me deeply. It shows us what’s possible. They say D.C. is one of the most LGBT-friendly cities in the United States and Mayor Bowser has no doubt contributed to that honor.

Xemiyulu Manibusan Tapepechul (Photo courtesy of Xemiyulu Manibusan Tapepechul)

Name: Xemiyulu Manibusan Tapepechul

Occupation: I am an independent artist: a playwright, author, spoken word artist, actor and director.

Passion: I have a passion for healing indigenous transgender, intersex and gender non-conforming communities through the arts.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? It’s OK to not know who you are. It’s OK to discover who you are along your journey. It’s OK to love yourself and celebrate yourself. You got this!

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? It’s important to have representation of cisgender women, transgender women, transgender men, non-binary people and cisgender men of color, in government and other cisgender white male-dominated spaces. As a queer woman living in the capital of the empire, it’s important to see genders that have been in the minority in position of power, that are representing truth, justice and ancestor. 

Ashley Trick (Photo courtesy of Ashley Trick)

Name: Ashley Trick

Occupation: Community affairs engagement strategist with Capital One

Passion: Serving and elevating diverse communities.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Actively work to limit the use of “sorry” in your vocabulary, but practice radical candor every day. Women can care personally while also challenging directly. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Women’s leadership is imperative. Diversity in leadership breeds innovation and resilience and having a black woman as the mayor of our city sets an important precedent for further leadership. Through women’s innate leadership, they transform, nurture and empower their communities and I am so profoundly proud to work under so many exceptional women.

Amanda Dennison (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Amanda Dennison

Occupation: Director, programs and partnerships

Passion: I have spent much of my life with my nose in a book, so much so my family feared I wouldn’t know my way around in the real world. I have always been driven by the desire to learn and understand more about the world. Through books I was able to hear other peoples’ stories, learn about communities, my chosen field of work, the world beyond the small town I grew up in. All of those books, and constantly asking “why” or “so what,” have played a big part in shaping my view of the world now and getting to where I am today. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? There are probably three main pieces of advice I would given young women. One: you are worthy and deserve to be here and to be heard. Two: be brave and don’t let the fear of leaving your comfort zone prevent you from chasing your goals and dreams. Three: be unapologetically yourself and take pride in who you are. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Seeing Mayor Bowser leading our city and actively supporting the LGBTQ+ community is both empowering and inspiring. As a queer woman living and working in D.C., trying to live my best life and lift up our community, it means everything to have a strong female fighting to give every D.C. resident the opportunity to live their best lives. I know that our mayor supports me, our community and the important work we are trying to accomplish. 

Lisa Marie Thalhammer (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Lisa Marie Thalhammer

Occupation: LOVE artist

Passion: Painting, murals, art and activism.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Trust your journey, believe in your power and live your dreams in full color. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? When Mayor Bowser spoke at the Jan 21, 2017 Women’s March on Washington, I felt an immense amount of pride to be a queer Washingtonian woman. I was in the crowd that day with a group carrying my “Strong Women LOVE” artwork, a painting on a 24-foot diameter parachute, which depicts a woman flexing her biceps in front of a rainbow-colored backdrop. I felt synergy with my mayor’s directive to speak up for women and their health care; like I was in that moment for a reason, with a purpose to live out my life’s mission of creating visual art and images that empower and uplift women.

Charlotte Clymer (Photo courtesy of Charlotte Clymer)

Name: Charlotte Clymer

Occupation: Press secretary for rapid response, Human Rights Campaign

Passion: Justice for marginalized communities, the written word and seeing women present their unapologetic authenticity to the world.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? You are never “not queer enough.” You are never “not woman enough.” The only scarcity that should ever concern you is being yourself. The world doesn’t need a copy. It needs an original. It needs you.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Mayor Bowser was one of the first public officials to speak out when I was discriminated against at a D.C. restaurant for being a transgender woman. She is not just my mayor; she is my sister. This is a leader who fights for the queer community.

Sharita Gruberg (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Sharita Gruberg

Occupation: Director, LGBT research and communications project, Center for American Progress

Passion: Making rights a reality.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? No one is ever as confident or certain as they seem. Most of the time we are all just trying our hardest and making it up as we go along. So don’t let doubt stop you!

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? We definitely need more women in every level of public office in this country. 

Ebone Bell (Photo by Maya Satori)

Name: Ebone Bell

Occupation: Founder and editor-in-chief of Tagg Magazine

Passion: Creating events, building community, learning new things and friends and family.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Keep reaching for the stars! You’re closer than you think.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? I’m proud to live in a city that continues to be groundbreaking in so many ways. Not only is our mayor leading the charge, but I consistently see LGBTQ women doing the same. D.C. is a beautiful, diverse city.

Lanae Spruce (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Lanae Spruce

Occupation: Manager of Social Media and Digital Engagement, Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture

Passion: Locating trends on the internet and doing it for the culture. In my free time I am a foodie who loves exploring the local restaurant scene on my travels.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? When you walk into a room, don’t be afraid to be yourself and stand in your own truth. You’ve already made it past the door.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? I chose to make Washington my home because it has a long history of preserving and championing the rights of queer people. As a queer black woman, it means the world to me that my city has my back. 

Andrea Pino-Silva (Photo by Christopher Alonso)

Name: Andrea Pino-Silva

Occupation: Digital strategy and communications manager at The National Center for Lesbian Rights

Passion: I help tell the stories of our queer resistance for a living, and it inspires me every day. I fight for a world where our struggle isn’t our full story and envision a world where every student has access to a safe, equal education free from violence and oppression. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? As a niña, my abuelito always told me: “nunca, nunca, nunca pares de luchar.” He instilled in me a belief, that no matter my upbringing, or how seemingly impossible my goal, it was achievable. Apply to that college. Apply to that job. Write that memoir. Lead that protest. La lucha is in all of us and our resistance and our passion is a gift from our ancestors. Their lucha, and their dreams live on within us. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? I’ve never lived in any other city led by a woman until moving to D.C., nor have I lived in a city with as many protections for marginalized people. As a queer woman, I feel safer and prouder to live in a city led by a strong woman like Mayor Bowser and feel more confident investing in making this city even better. 

Rebecca Buckwalter-Posa (Photo by John Shinkle)

Name: Rebecca Buckwalter-Poza

Occupation: Journalist

Passion: Helping others find their voice.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Be fearless.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? It means everything to me, especially as a woman of color. Former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor said, “As women achieve power, the barriers will fall. As society sees what women can do, as women see what women can do, there will be more women out there doing things, and we’ll all be better off for it.” 

Lina Nicoli (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Lina Nicolai

Occupation: Owner

Passion: Little things in life.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Don’t give up. Work hard.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? It means that the concerns of women issues are being addressed in policy.

Laura Durso (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Laura Durso

Occupation: Vice president of the LGBT Research and Communications Project at the Center for American Progress

Passion: Gender equity, fat acceptance, empiricism and music.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Try new things, care just a little bit less what other people think of you, tell friends you love them, make peace with your body, have confidence in your ability to adapt and change, learn to catch when your brain wants to give in to imposter syndrome and remember how badass you are, spend your time with people and things that nourish your soul, hire people smarter than you, lean on your networks to help you get shit done, believe you can fix things but remember not everything always needs fixing, forge a new path, bring people with you.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? The ability to govern effectively knows no gender and as a queer woman, I am both proud and comforted to live in a city where voters recognize the talent and leadership that women bring to the table. Electing leaders from diverse backgrounds and experiences opens the door for new conversations to happen and new policies to be enacted that better serve our communities and drive us toward more meaningful change.

Taissa Morimoto (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Taissa Morimoto

Occupation: Policy Counsel at the National LGBTQ Task Force

Passion: Playing guitar, crushing the patriarchy, apple juice, the Companion Cube, deconstructing colonialism and long walks on the way to protests.We each have such different life experiences, especially based on our social identities and how we are perceived in our society. I hesitate to give general advice because I can only speak from my own experiences as a queer woman of color who has many privileges. What changed my life, though, was the decision to put my own needs first. And that happened when I moved to D.C., where I was able to be my full self. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? So, for queer women of color in my shoes, I will share what I wish people had told me more often: Don’t ever apologize for who you are and who you are becoming. There are people who will love you for exactly who you are. Let them. Being vulnerable is not weak, it is a sign of growth. Lean into that discomfort. Ask for help, even when you think you can handle it on your own. You are enough. You will always be enough. I am so honored and proud to be in community with you all. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? It means finally being able to live my full complete self. To me, it means freedom.

Breanna Diaz (Photo courtesy of Breanna Diaz)

Name: Breanna Diaz

Occupation: Co-director, Pull for Pride 

Passion: LGBTQ advocacy via access to typically closed-off spaces, such as powerlifting. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Remain authentic and accountable to yourself and your community. Always center who you are, your lived experience and your values in your work. Take pride in what you bring to the table. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Representation matters and seeing someone of the same gender as myself in a leadership position is empowering.  

Carlie Steiner (Photo courtesy of Steiner)

Name: Carlie Steiner

Occupation: Co-owner of Himitsu + Dos Mamis

Passion: Empowering women and making money.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Buy better shoes with good support. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Watching Muriel Bowser break through the glass ceiling by becoming D.C.’s mayor both empowered and inspired me to make the final push to open Himitsu at the age of 25. Now, two-plus years later, she continues to push the boundaries of what is possible. Women serving in positions of leadership and the visibility it provides to young women is paramount. Having a role model like Mayor Bowser who is equally respected and relatable is important to women of all ages, but especially to young girls who can look up to her as an example of a woman is making change and that’s how real progress happens.

Harper Jean Tobin (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Harper Jean Tobin

Occupation: Lawyer/lobbyist for trans equality

Passion: Improving trans people’s lives and living my own rich life.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Listen to your passion. Find where you’re best suited to make a difference. Ask for support. Be kind to yourself.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? We need leaders and public servants who reflect the diversity of our communities today. Women may not necessarily be better leaders, but every conversation is different when the people in the room don’t all look the same.

Ashlee Keown (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Ashlee Keown

Occupation: Marketing specialist/entrepreneur

Passion: Creating opportunities for people

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Don’t be afraid to try something new and fail. It is also important to adjust your expectations so that you understand that anything that you do will involve growth and failure.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? It mean we are lucky enough to have someone in office who understands the challenges women and people of color face. Some who has the insight and ability to think about others. 

Kyrisha Deschamps (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Kyrisha Deschamps

Occupation: Festival producer/operations manager

Passion: Using my skills, experience and access to create opportunities and help others. Also, intentionally finding joy in each day. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Surround yourself with positive people who support your wild dreams and act as your sounding board. Trust the process and take time for yourself when you need to.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? I’m a huge fan of women in positions of power. I am very excited about the number of women who are moving into politics to create the change that needs to be seen and felt in the world. As of today, a political career isn’t in the stars for me, but I would love to see more women and LBGTQ leaders in positions of power in government.

Jennifer Patience Rowe (Photo by Jeremy Mines; courtesy Rowe)

Name: Jennifer Patience Rowe

Occupation: Artist: primary vocalist, poet and actress.

Passion: My passion is facilitating spiritual experiences in secular spaces. I’m passionate about black folks being free. I’m passionate about honoring our grief.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? I would tell young black women that it’s OK to be unsure, its normal to constantly be discovering who you are. That change is the only constant. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? As a second generation native Washingtonian, it’s beautiful to have experienced all of the changes this city has and is surviving. Having a woman elected mayor has spoken to the great shifts and growth the capital city is capable of seeing. 

Kristin Lynch (Photo courtesy of Kristin Lynch)

Name: Kristin Lynch

Occupation: Communications director, U.S. Senator Cory Booker (D-NJ)

Passion: Politics, writing, news, sports, avocados, coffee porters

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? TDon’t be afraid to defy convention or take the road less traveled – being weird is a good thing. Work hard, be humble, and practice gratitude.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Representation matters. When leaders who look differently than what society typically associates with power — i.e. women, people of color, queer individuals — we begin to dismantle our preconceived notions of what a leader should be and reimagine what a leader could be. Having a mayor who is both a woman and a person of color breaks down barriers and shows underrepresented groups that we too can rise to powerful leadership positions, even if we may not always see that truth reflected in our day-to-day lives. 

Luella Garies (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Luella Garies

Occupation: Massage therapist, dance organizer

Passion: A combination of love for partner dancing and of bringing that love to queer women and trans people.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? As a dancer, know that simply by being openly yourself in the very heteronormative world of partner dance, or by breaking gender norms therein, you are a revolutionary. You are changing the world one literal step at a time and that is something to be proud of. As an organizer, someone recently asked me what’s my secret to organizing successful events over the long-term. “Passion,” I said. Actually there are many other answers I could give, but that’s the one I would underscore. You don’t need to be extroverted, popular, talented or wealthy to bring people together. But if you have a dream that lights up your soul and you have an inkling of how to share that with others, you can find a way.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? To me this is one among many ways that D.C. is setting an example and leading the way for the rest of the country, especially since our mayor is like a governor. It’s all the more reason that we should have full voting rights.

Joy Whitt (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Joy Whitt

Occupation: Presidential Innovation Fellow

Passion: Creating safe, uplifting spaces for women/trans/non-binary folks who are interested in learning about technology. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Stay true to yourself. Surround yourself with people who will educate and amplify you; pay it forward.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? As a queer, black woman, it is an incredibly big deal to be a resident of a city led by a black woman. Mayor Bowser represents many of my identities while serving at D.C.’s highest level, and because of that, her initiatives (and council’s policies) create a more inclusive environment for people of color, women, and the LGBTQ community. I lead initiatives in D.C. that create professional and social opportunities for technologists of underrepresented genders (i.e. women, trans and non-binary folks, etc.). Mayor Bowser and the government of D.C. have made these efforts possible by amplifying and celebrating tech inclusion.

Nicole Armstead-Williams (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Nicole Armstead-Williams

Occupation: Psychotherapist and mental health advocate

Passion: I’m passionate about dismantling the harmful stigma of mental health, with a particular heartbeat for reducing the risk of suicide and self-harm in QTPOC (queer/trans people of color) communities. I am passionate about creating eco-therapeutic healing spaces for survivors of trauma, loss and grief. I also really get excited about all things rooted in love, wanderlust and long-distance road trips, dogs and growing sweet potatoes.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? To a young woman walking in my shoes, I would say: wear the shoes that are the most authentic fit for you so that you can sustain the walk of your personal dream and journey.  

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? Experiencing leadership from not only a woman-identified mayor but a black woman mayor provides me with a greater hope that we as women/women of color can show up, can be seen and affirmed and can support growth as an agent of change. To me, as a queer women living in the District, this means voice and visibility.

Yesenia Chavez (Photo by Courtney Neale)

Name: Yesenia Chavez

Occupation: Policy and government affairs specialist

Passion: Developing leadership pipelines of LGBTQ youth and people of color, hiking, traveling and cycling.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Remember that when you are the only woman of color, the only queer person, or first-generation person in a classroom or a board room, you carry your ancestors into that room with you. Most importantly, once you are in the room, be sure to open the door and pull up a chair for the next generation. When you pull up that chair, be intentional about who you bring to sit there. Start with those who almost never get access to those seats, i.e. trans/gender non-conforming folks, queer people of color, people with disabilities, etc. That is how you make radical change in who gets access to these rooms. We can end being the first or only one in the room if we pull each other up. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? As a queer Latina, I think it is important to have representation in all levels of government and I value seeing women of color in leadership. I was raised by a Mexican immigrant single-mother in a low-income household and know that is a unique story in comparison to the backgrounds of the voices we typically hear from. I believe it is critical for people who don’t see themselves reflected in leadership, to work to change that because as the saying goes, “If you are not at the table, you are on the menu.” Centering the voices of those of us who are at the intersection of marginalized identities is necessary during the policy-making process to ensure policy has a positive impact on our communities.

Ashland Johnson (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Ashland Johnson

Occupation: Policy lawyer and sports equity advisor

Passion: Creating social equity in and through sports.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Don’t be afraid to bet on yourself. We as women, especially women of color, invest so much time warding of doubt and working to achieve someone else’s vision of success. You have to make it a priority to invest in you— your goals, your passion, your vision— all day, everyday until it becomes second nature. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? As a queer woman of color living in D.C., for me having a black female mayor is both an invaluable gift and a necessity. Representation matters. Empowerment matters. Our mayor represents and empowers women, especially women of color everyday she leads our district forward. 

Whitney Washington (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Whitney Washington

Occupation: Attorney/legal fellow

Passion: People are my passion. I love the process of getting to know folks and learning about them. As much as I am willing to get to know absolutely anyone from whatever walk of life, I acknowledge that not all folks are willing to do the same.  I understand that to greater society some folks are not worth anything because of who they are or what they may have done in the past. I feel lucky to be able to offer my skill set to show support to the people that society has written off. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? This is a funny question because I still think of myself as a young person. Three things that I remind myself of daily are one: nothing worth doing is easy, but also that the most difficult option is not always the answer — there is often a middle ground; two: I know a lot more than I think I do; and three: I have a lot to learn. Outside of my daily reminders, I think the biggest thing I would tell a younger person is: being a person is a process and that regardless who you are right now, and regardless of whoever you will become, you are valid.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? The socio-political impact of Muriel Bowser’s position as mayor of Washington cannot be overstated — it is crucial that voices like hers are amplified, especially in our current political climate. As a queer, non-binary individual, this signals to me that this historically black city values its legacy, champions its pioneers and strives to be at the forefront of change in our nation. 

Sarah Horvitz (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Sarah Horvitz

Occupation: National political director at Run for Something

Passion: Encouraging and supporting young women who want to serve their communities in elected office.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? You aren’t going to be amazing at everything you do on day one. Stay focused on the specific tasks and goals you are trying to accomplish and trust you will get better the more you try. Surround yourself with other women out there who are doing their best and befriend them.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? I love living in D..C for many reasons (honestly too many to name) but I am especially proud to live in a city with a woman in charge. I know that Mayor Bowser is fighting every day by making political and fiscal decisions that prioritize equity for women and girls, especially people of color and members of the LGBTQ community. She is not only an advocate in our national’s capitol for resident’s of D.C., but is also leading the charge nationally for more representation of marginalized communities in elected office. 

Amber Posadas (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Amber Posadas

Occupation: Specialty support

Passion: Defend the rights of the LGBT community and advocate for those who doesn’t have voice.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Never give up on your  dreams and fight for what you really want in life.  

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? It gives me the power to know as a queer woman I too can achieve success.

Katie Nicol (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Katie Nicol 

Occupation: As senior manager of public benefits and insurance navigation at Whitman-Walker Health, I focus on removing barriers to health care access, particularly for those who identify as LGBTQ, people living with HIV and the immigrant population. 

Passion: I’m passionate about helping others, geeking out over insurance eligibility policy and nuance, logistics and the work of Whitman-Walker Health. I have the privilege to be a part of an organization that represents what it means to provide culturally competent care free of stigma and judgement and to serve a patient population I identify with. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Stay true to your queer self, give yourself room to grow and evolve and don’t take yourself too seriously. Take every opportunity to learn from your experiences, mistakes and from others. Your relationships are your greatest assets — personally and professionally — so nurture those connections. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone and follow your instincts; sometimes your greatest hurdle is fear. 

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? In today’s political climate where woman, let alone a woman of color, are marginalized, it’s a reminder that women — regardless if queer or not — are equal to men. It is additionally inspiring to live in a city where a woman of color of color is a true representation of Washingtonians and our values, which include inclusivity for all residents, regardless of immigration, sexual orientation or gender expression. 

Emily Hammell (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Name: Emily Hammell

Occupation: Events manager for LGBTQ Victory Fund & Institute

Passion: Oh gosh, so many to chose from! My most noteworthy passion is my collection of commemorative plates. But I also love Raquel Raccoon (my three-legged cat), relationship anarchy, tattoos, LGBTQ+ rights, gender and racial equity, sex workers rights and harm reduction.

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Be as out and loud as you’re able to, it matters so much to those who can’t. And if you can’t be out and loud? Please be kind to yourself, you are still part of the queer family and you matter so much.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? It’s pretty dang inspiring to see a woman of color succeed in the political world. I may not always agree with Mayor Bowser, but I absolutely respect how hard she has worked to climb that ladder.

Brittany Rheault (Photo courtesy of Brittany Rheault)

Name: Brittany Rheault

Occupation: Director of sports operations at United Fray

Passion: My passion at work is making fun possible. I have the pleasure of bringing “play” into everyday life with my job. I couldn’t ask for a better profession. As for the rest of my life, my passion is to make people feel included, whether that’s on a dance floor or  with my friends, I’m always striving for laughter and fun and connection. 

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Hustle. What separates you from the pack is your willingness to step in or step up. Being complacent is never an option. You have to be willing to show up and impress with commitment and work ethic.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? To me, it’s inspiring that I am living in a city that would not only elect but reelect a female mayor. 

Check It Enterprises (Washington Blade photo by Lou Chibbaro, Jr.)

Name: Check It Enterprises; Star Bennett, CEO

Occupation: CEO of Check It Enterprises

Passion: fashion design

What advice would you give to a young woman walking in your shoes? Chase your dreams and never give up.

Washington is one of the few major cities in America with a female mayor. What does this mean to you as a queer woman living in the District? That females have the same ability men have. 

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D.C. springs back to life with new, returning events

Cherry blossoms, Rehoboth season kickoff, and more on tap

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D.C.’s annual Cherry Blossom Festival kicks off later this month. (Blade file photo by Marvin Bowser)

Longer and warmer days are back meaning: It’s time to get out of the house and enjoy Washington D.C.’s many events. Below are a few to check out this spring.

The National Museum of Women in the Arts will host “Making their Mark: Works from the Shah Garg Collection” until Sunday, July 26. This exhibition illustrates women artists’ vital role in abstraction, considers historical contributions, formal and material breakthroughs and intergenerational relationships among women artists over the last eight decades. For more details, visit. NMWA’s website

Art in the Attic will host a pop-up on Saturday, March 14 at 6 p.m. at 1012 Madison St., Alexandria, Va. There will be a variety of vendors selling products across different modes of art. For more details, visit Eventbrite.

Play Play will host “Indoor Recess – The art of play” on Sunday, March 15 at 2 p.m. This event will embody classic recess energy, including opportunities to build and experience community and connections through games, movement, art stations, and creative freedom. Tickets are $12.51 and can be purchased on Eventbrite

Spark Social will host “Gay Bar Crawl on U Street” on Friday, March 20 at 7:30 p.m. This will be a fun night out in gay D.C. with other gay people, whether you’re visiting D.C., new to the area, or just looking to expand your social circle. Many crawlers have formed lasting friendships and even romantic relationships after just one night out. Tickets are $35.88 and are available on Eventbrite

Creative Suitland Arts Center will host “EFFERVESCENT: House of Swann” on Saturday, May 30 at 7 p.m. This will be a gay, good time where we will celebrate love, joy, wellness, and visibility for the LGBTQIA+ community. Tickets start at $17.85 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

SWAG Works DC will host “Unapologetically Her” on Saturday, March 14 at 2 p.m. at 701 E St., S.E. This event is a powerful celebration of womanhood, resilience, creativity, and self-expression in honor of Women’s History Month. This all-women exhibition highlights the diverse voices, stories, and artistic perspectives of women who create boldly, live authentically, and stand confidently in their truth. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

9:30 Club will host “Gimme Gimme Disco: A Dance Party Inspired by ABBA” on Saturday, March 14 at 6 p.m. There will also be a “Donna Summer Power Hour – The Queen of Disco” segment during this event. It’ll be one hour of music with no skips. Tickets are available on 9:30 Club’s website

Harder Better Faster Stronger will host “Heated Rivalry Rave” on Friday, March 20 at 9 p.m. at Howard Theatre. This event is open to all ages. Tickets are available on the theater’s website

CAMP Rehoboth hosts its 25th annual Women’s+ FEST, April 9-12 in Rehoboth Beach, Del. Entertainers include headliner Mina Hartong, a comedian, storyteller, and founder of Lez Out Loud; and singer Yoli Mayor. There are dances, dinners, pickleball, and much more. Details and tickets at camprehoboth.org.

Also in Rehoboth Beach, the Washington Blade’s 19th annual Summer Kickoff Party is set for Friday, May 15 featuring Ashley Biden, who will accept an award on behalf of her brother Beau. State Rep. Claire Snyder-Hall will also speak. More speakers and the venue to be announced soon.

The annual D.C. Cherry Blossom Festival kicks off March 21 at DAR Constitution Hall and culminates with Petalpalooza on April 4, the day-long, outdoor street party with music and art, stretching across Navy Yard, and ending with fireworks over the Anacostia River. 

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‘Queer Eye’ star Dorriene Diggs on life before and after appearing on hit show

Emotional January episode highlighted 40-year love affair with partner

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D.C. residents Dorriene Diggs and sister Jo starred in an emotional episode of ‘Queer Eye’ earlier this year. (Screen capture via IMDB)

Dorriene Diggs, 70, whose 40-year relationship with her domestic partner, Diane until Diane’s passing in 2020, the couple’s tense relationship with their respective parents, and Dorriene’s current living arrangement with her straight sister Jo, were the focus of a final season episode of the popular TV series “Queer Eye.”

In a recent interview with the Washington Blade, Diggs told of how her appearance on the show has impacted her life. She elaborated on the many aspects of her life experiences that she told to the five “Queer Eye” co-hosts who interviewed her and her sister in their D.C. home. 

Although her parents and her partner’s parents, who have since passed away, were not accepting of their relationship, Diggs has said most of her family members at this time reacted positively to her appearance on the show.

“They loved it,” she told the Blade. “Yes, everybody that saw the show called me and said they loved the show, they really enjoyed themselves watching it.”

Through an arrangement with D.C.’s Rainbow History Project, the “Queer Eye” show featuring Diggs and her sister was presented in a special screening on a large video screen at the D.C. History Center in January.

“Dorriene, a 70-year-old Black lesbian living in Washington, D.C., had spent decades building a life with her partner while navigating silence within her own family,” a “Queer Eye” statement announcing the episode on Diggs states. 

“The Fab Five did not arrive to introduce Dorriene to herself, but to help ensure her story was finally heard in full,” the statement says.  

Blade: Can you tell us how your appearance on the “Queer Eye” program came about? How did they find out about you?

Diggs: You know, I still don’t have all the details. I think it was my niece, Missy. And she knows somebody there from “Queer Eye.”

Blade: So, did you first learn about it when someone from “Queer Eye” contacted you?

Diggs: No, the “Queer Eye” guy knocked on my bedroom door and started talking. I was in my bedroom watching television and the next thing I know my door opened up and there was Karamo [Karamo Brown, one of the “Queer Eye” co-hosts] with his big black cowboy hat on, opening the door grinning. … They contacted Jo first. And when they came here, they realized there was a gay woman in the house, too. Because my name was not mentioned at first. After they came here, they learned about me, because when Missy reached out to them, she reached out to them about Jo. But that doesn’t bother me. This was all about Jo in the beginning, and not me. … They started talking to me and Jo. And he said, Dorriene, ‘you’ve done so much for so many people, it’s time for someone to do something for you.’ That’s what they said. He said, ‘this is the day we’re doing it for you.’

And so,  they put me and my sister up in a hotel for a week. They gave us a personal driver to take us anywhere we wanted to go. And then they took us to a bunch of places. We didn’t know why they were doing all of this. We had no idea that they were renovating the house and renovating our bedrooms. We had no  idea.

Blade: What was your reaction when you saw the home renovation?

Diggs: It was amazing. And they bought us all new complete wardrobes – clothes, shoes. But most of the stuff they got me I gave away to a women’s shelter. But it was so nice. Actually, to meet the guys. I’ve been watching the show for 10 years. I have watched it from the beginning. And actually, it brought me and my sister closer – really. We’re closer now than we’ve ever been. She’s my baby sister – not the baby, but next to the baby. She’s the younger one.

Blade: What has been the reaction to your appearance on the show? Do more people now recognize you?

Diggs: Yes, yes. I’m getting phone calls and it’s almost like I’m a celebrity. And I don’t want people to make a fuss over me. All the things I did I did from the heart. I really did. And I don’t want people to think I’m more than I am. I’m just a good Christian woman that believes in giving back.

And I do. God gives me help giving. That’s what I do. And I don’t want anything in return from anyone. You know, because I know what it means to not to have. I know what it means to go to bed hungry, with no food. Going to school with holes in your shoes. I know that. I know that feeling. I’ve been there. And I promised myself as a kid I would never live like this again. And when I got bold enough to leave home, I left home at 14, and I moved in with a drag queen. Damen was his name.

Blade: Did your appearance on the show change your life and your relationship with your sister?

Diggs: Yeah, yeah, it actually did. We are actually closer now than we’ve ever been. Because, like I said, I moved away from home early and I never went back. My parents had a problem with my lifestyle. They really did. My mom looked at me with such hatred. When I was old enough to say goodbye, I never looked back. And to come back around now in the last few years after Diane died, that’s when I came back here.

And at one point I stayed with my nephew Todd and his wife – but he got killed in a car accident. I couldn’t stay at his house anymore. So, then I called Jo and told her I need to get out of here. And without hesitating she came and picked me up and brought me to her home. And I’ve been here ever since.

Blade: Can you tell a little about when it came about and how you met your partner?

Diggs: We lived on 18th Avenue in condos. I just bought one. Hers was above mine. I bought the bottom one. When my brother came over, she was getting out of her car. She was driving a Vega. And I turned to my brother and I said – this is the God’s honest truth – I said Keith, that’s the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Just like that. And he started laughing. He said, girl you’re crazy. I said I know I’m crazy, Keith, but I’m telling you that woman right there is who I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.

Blade: And when was that?

Diggs: It was 1980 actually. And then I started going to the laundry room to do my laundry. So I started talking to her. She said, ‘I’m not speaking to you.’ Isaid ‘why not?’  She said ‘because you’re nothing but a female gigolo.’ And I said I’m not dating anymore. I’m waiting for you. ‘No, you’re too fast for me.’ I said, ‘well, I’m not giving up.’

And I didn’t give up. So, I was playing an album one day and she knocked on the door and asked what I was playing, I think. I said you liked that. She said yeah. I said OK, I’ll bring it upstairs and we can listen to it together. So, when I went up there to her apartment that day and whenever I went up there, I never left.

Blade: So, your partner’s name was Diane?

Diggs: Yes, Ruth Diane Robinson. But she hated the name Ruth. So, the only people who called her Ruth were at work, the people she worked with. Everybody else called her Diane.

Blade: And how many years were you together?

Diggs: Forty. Forty years together

Blade: And where were you living with her most of the time?

Diggs: We lived in Hagerstown the longest, Hagerstown, Md. And so, if Diane hadn’t died I probably still would have been in our house in Hagerstown.

Blade: Can you tell me a little about what you were doing career wise during those years?

Diggs: I do computers. I used to do computers. And before that I cooked. I love to cook like my mom. And then I wanted to do something else. So, I taught myself computers. I taught myself how to build computers and stuff. So, then I got my own computer business called Ida One Computer Consulting. And so, we helped build computers for people.

Blade: Around when was this, in the 1980a or 1990s?

Diggs:  Yes, in the 1980s. I think I stopped I would say around ’96, when I stopped. Because we both said we were going to retire at 55. And we did. We both retired at 55. And then she started diabetes. Every day I had to give her an injection because she was afraid of needles. She couldn’t give it to herself. So, I had to give her an injection every day One time, I don’t remember when, she had a mild stroke. And I had to take care of her. I’ve always taken care of her. And I don’t regret it. I never regretted it. It’s taking care of the one you love.

Blade: When was it that she passed away?

Diggs: In 2020. I found her on the kitchen floor.

Blade: How did your family and your extended family react to your relationship  with Diane?

Diggs: Well, her family, oh my God, they hated me – her mother the worst. Because I put a stop to them treating her really bad. I told her mother – I said never in my life – my mother raised me well. Never disrespect someone’s mother. I said but this time I’m going to disrespect you because you are going to start treating Diane like you ought to. This is a wonderful woman and you and your son and you it’s always about your son. You never, ever say anything good about your daughter. 

I said it isn’t going to happen again. You’re never going to disrespect her again. I said you take a damn good look at her because you’ll never see her again. I meant that. I grabbed Diane. I said it’s time to go. They don’t care about you.

Blade: Can you tell a little about your family?

Diggs: Yeah, I’m a triplet sister. So, it’s Dorriene, Chorine, and Chrissy — we are the triplets. So, my mom had a set of twins and a set of triplets within nine months. One of the twins died at birth. So, the other twin is Margaret.

Blade: So then how did your family react to you and Jo being on “Queer Eye”?

Diggs: Most of my family really had no problem with it.

Blade: Were  you out to them?

Diggs: Oh yeah. I was never in the closet. I didn’t give a damn what people felt about me, sweetheart. I really didn’t. I didn’t care. Because I was going to be me. And for people who didn’t like it, I wasn’t living for them, I was living for me. I’ve always been out. I had a brother who was also gay, Marvin. God rest his soul, too. But he stayed in the closet. He was in the closet until he was about 55 years old.

But everything I said on the show was the truth – my account. The things that I went through with family … You can’t tell me how I felt. If they try to make mom and dad out as perfect, they weren’t perfect. They were the worst parents. That’s my account of it.  

So yes, everything I said on that interview was the truth. That’s one thing people who know me know – I do not lie.

Blade: What are some of the things you like to do these days?

Diggs: I’m a sports lover. I love sports. So, my baseball season is getting ready to get started. Baseball is my favorite sport. Yes, I love baseball. I like the statistics of it. And watching the guys. I wish they had a women’s professional baseball team, honestly. … I’m a D.C. sports fan. The Wizards, the Nationals, the Mystics, the Caps. … And see, I’m a diehard Redskins fan and I refuse to call them the Commanders. They’re the Redskins. They will always be the Redskins to me. I love my sports teams.

Blade: Can you tell a little about the history of the house where you and Jo now live and where they did the filming of the “Queer Eye” show?

Diggs: Jo had a house on 17th Street, I think it was Northeast because it was over there by H Street, N.E. And I think somebody wanted to buy her house. I don’t know why she moved. So, she found this house. Because she wanted to buy something where she could buy a house straight out. She didn’t want a mortgage on another house.

Blade: What are your thoughts on being on the last season of “Queer Eye?”

Diggs: Yeah, we were the last ones. We took it out with a bang, me and Jo. That was it. 

Blade: Can you say how you and Jo appearing on the show impacted your life?

Diggs: I don’t know. I’m the same person. I’ve been getting calls from people saying I saw you on the show. And friends who I haven’t seen in years have been calling. … So yeah, the show, people I haven’t seen and talked to in years have been calling. I think that’s a good thing.

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35 years after ‘Truth or Dare,’ Slam is still dancing

Salim Gauwloos on Madonna, HIV, and why he almost didn’t audition for Blond Ambition Tour

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Salim Gauwloos continues to work as a dancer and choreographer. Learn more at salimgauwloos.com. (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

Most gay men of a certain age remember “the kiss.”

It was the moment Madonna’s dancers Salim Gauwloos and Gabriel Trupin locked lips in the hit 1991 documentary film “Truth or Dare,” which is celebrating its 35th anniversary this spring.

The kiss was hot, but what made it groundbreaking is that it appeared in a mainstream Hollywood movie that screened in suburban multiplexes across the country. This wasn’t an obscure art house film. The movie, and tour on which it was based, received months of breathless media attention all over the world for bold expressions of female empowerment and queer visibility. Madonna was threatened with arrest in Toronto for simulating masturbation on stage and Pope John Paul II urged Catholics to boycott the show, triggering a media firestorm. 

“Truth or Dare” was billed as a behind-the-scenes documentary of the tour, but it quickly became clear that the real star of the show wasn’t Madonna, but rather her colorful troupe of seven backup dancers, six of whom identified as gay: Kevin Stea, Carlton Wilborn, Luis Xtravaganza CamachoJose Gutierez Xtravaganza, Gauwloos, and Trupin; Oliver Crumes III identifies as straight.

We saw them party and march in the New York City Pride parade. They were unabashedly queer at a dangerous time — before protease inhibitors began to stem the AIDS plague and before most celebrities and politicians embraced the gay community in any real way. Being out in 1991 carried major risks to career and reputation. 

Enter Gauwloos, one of those brave dancers who vogued his way into the hearts of countless gay men entranced by his handsome looks, his stage presence, and dance skills. 

Gauwloos — known then and now as “Slam”— sat down with the Blade to talk Madonna, the lasting impact of “Truth or Dare,” the public disclosure of his HIV status, and plans for a new book on his life. 

His story is fascinating — from growing up in Europe to dancing in New York to landing the gig of a lifetime with Madonna. He performed on that tour while secretly HIV positive and went without medical treatment for 10 years because he was living in the United States as an undocumented immigrant. Not even Madonna knew of his HIV status. Two other dancers on the tour were also HIV positive but no one talked about it. Ironically, Madonna was singing “Express Yourself” and advocating for condom use during her concerts yet backstage three of her dancers were secretly positive.

“A lot of people were dying so I wasn’t going to tell Madonna I had HIV,” said Slam, now 57. “And the others didn’t either. It wasn’t the moment to do it. She used to make speeches about Keith Haring and AIDS and I thought it’s going to be me next.”

Gabriel Trupin died of AIDS in 1995. Slam was diagnosed at age 18 in 1987, a frightening time when a positive test result often meant a death sentence. He booked the “Blond Ambition Tour” at age 21 after moving to New York. His friends encouraged him to audition but Slam resisted because he wasn’t a big Madonna fan.

“It was crazy, everyone wanted that job,” he said, “but I wanted to dance with Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul.” He listened to his friends and shortly after the audition, Slam received a call from Madonna herself inviting him to join the tour.

“We all wanted to be stars but not even Madonna knew how big that tour would become. The way it was choreographed and directed, the stars aligned. … It never looks dated even today.”

Salim Gauwloos dances with Madonna on the ‘Blond Ambition Tour’ in 1990. (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

The world tour kicked off in Japan in April 1990 then moved to the United States and Europe, stirring controversy wherever it went. There was the iconic cone bra; the aforementioned simulated masturbation during “Like a Virgin”; and religious imagery that offended many Catholic groups and the Vatican.

And the controversy didn’t end with the tour. Cameras were rolling throughout the tour for what Slam thought would be a “video memory” for Madonna. But as the tour unfolded, director Alek Keshishian reportedly became more interested in what was happening behind the scenes so plans for mere tour footage were expanded into a full documentary.

“We were young and partying and didn’t really know what was going on,” Slam said. “You live in this celebrity bubble and you sign a paper – I don’t even know what I signed.”

In 1992, Kevin, Oliver, and Gabriel sued Madonna for invasion of privacy and fraud claiming she used some footage without their consent. They claim they were told nothing would be included in the film that they didn’t want to be seen. In one specific incident, Gabriel alleged that he told producers he didn’t want the scene of him kissing Slam to be in the film as he wasn’t fully out.

“Gabriel was forcibly outed,” in the movie, Kevin said in a 2016 interview.

Slam did not join his colleagues in the lawsuit.

“I couldn’t sue because I was illegal but I wasn’t ever going to sue,” Slam said. “I’m not a suing kind of person. But good for them, they fought for it and won. A lot of people don’t have the balls to sue Madonna.” The suit was settled two years later for an undisclosed sum.

“We were all conflicted about the kiss,” he said with a laugh. “The kiss, oh my God, my boyfriend is going to kill me! Belgian stress!”

Beyond worrying about his boyfriend’s reaction, Slam had concerns about the impact of being openly gay on his modeling career.

“In 1990, you couldn’t get high fashion campaigns as an openly gay model,” he said. “I was worried about that. I couldn’t get a campaign because I was gay. My agency told me to say I was straight and it was just a game.”

In 2016, pegged to the 25th anniversary of “Truth or Dare,” the surviving six dancers filmed a documentary about their lives post-Madonna titled “Strike A Pose.” In it, Slam publicly revealed his HIV status for the first time in an emotional scene with his former colleagues.

“I found the strength to tell the world I have HIV,” he recalls. “I was scared but I felt brave. The outcome and messages were beautiful. After I saw ‘Strike A Pose,’ I knew we gave people hope. And not just for gay people.”

He was infected in 1987 but didn’t get treated until 1997. After the tour ended, he said he went into a depression and his agency dropped him. 

“I was partying too much after the tour,” he recalls. “I made a decision to live as an illegal alien.” In 1997, Slam collapsed and was rushed to the hospital with pneumonia. 

“They started treating me and thank God the new HIV drugs were out, the cocktails, it took me a couple months to get better.”

Madonna didn’t participate in “Strike A Pose” and Slam said he hasn’t seen or spoken to her since the end of the tour. He said he had no idea of the impact “Truth or Dare” would have. 

“You look at this movie in 1991 and you don’t think it’s going to be such a big thing and 35 years later it’s still helping people,” he said. “It was helpful for people who felt alone at that time. It was such an important documentary.

“I don’t think younger gay people realize how important Madonna was to gay and queer visibility — she was a big part of it. We showed the world it’s OK to be gay and that was the great message of this movie.”

He noted that, decades later, many of his friends have transgender kids and that queer culture is represented in much of mainstream pop culture.

“It’s amazing how far we’ve come,” he said. “I know we’ll always be marginalized but we have come so far. I’m really proud of our community. The current nightmare will be over and I do believe that things will get better.”

Referencing President Trump’s attacks on the LGBTQ community and crackdown on immigration, Slam described the situation in the U.S. today as “sad.”

“Everything is such a mess,” he said. “Some of these people have lived here 30-40 years and they take you out of your home. I can’t even imagine. It breaks my heart. When I was illegal it was a different story.”

Slam met his husband, Facundo Gabba, who’s from Argentina, in 2000, and he helped him get a legal case together to win citizenship. He filed a case in 2001 and was told there was a 99 percent chance he wouldn’t be permitted to stay in the United States because they weren’t allowing HIV-positive immigrants to remain in the country. But he got his green card anyway in 2005 and became a U.S. citizen in 2012. 

Today, Slam and Gabba live in Brooklyn, though they travel a lot because “I can’t take the cold.” The couple married in Argentina in 2010 and in the U.S. in 2016.

Slam is still dancing and working as a choreographer. He’s teaching at a contemporary dance festival in Vienna in July and even offers online lessons via Salimdans.com.

As a longtime HIV survivor, Slam is dedicated to a healthful lifestyle.

“You have to keep moving; when you move you stay healthy,” he says. “Dance heals everything. I do yoga, I eat healthy and clean as possible. I don’t watch much TV … I try to stay healthy and positive. If I absorb all of the negativity I would be sick.”

Salim Gauwloos (Photo courtesy Gauwloos)

In addition to his ongoing work in dance and choreography, Slam is in the early stages of writing a book about his extraordinary life and pioneering career.

“I always knew I had a book inside of me. I want to talk about my HIV status. I know I can inspire more people. I want to tell even more secrets in the book; secrets are a poison so I want to tell everything.” 

Among those secrets, he notes, is a desire to write about his strict Muslim father and the years he spent as an undocumented immigrant in America. 

“Those are the things I want to talk about, the struggles. It’s a love story, hope and resilience. I know it will help people.”

As for his friends from the tour, Slam says he remains in contact with Gabriel’s mother and José Xtravaganza is his best friend. Baltimore’s Center Stage theater is currently developing a new musical about Xtravaganza’s life. And Slam said he occasionally talks to Oliver, though “he still can’t pronounce Sandra Bernhard’s name.”

At the end of our interview, Slam indulged a round a rapid fire questions:

• Favorite song to perform in the “Blond Ambition” tour? “Express Yourself.”

• Aside from Madonna, who was your favorite artist you worked with? Toni Braxton in “Aida” on Broadway. 

• Favorite Madonna song? “Live to Tell”

• Favorite Madonna video? “Bedtime Stories”

• What’s more stressful: performing in a concert or performing on the VMAs? “Both, because we always had to be perfect.”

• Did you go to Madonna’s recent “Celebration” tour? “I didn’t see the show but I saw clips online.”

• What do you remember most about performing “Vogue” at the VMAs? “It was nerve-racking for them to flip those fans.”

• When was the last time you vogued? “I teach classes so a couple weeks ago.”

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