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How does equality at work become a reality?

Out & Equal advocating for a world where we can be ourselves and thrive at work

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Out & Equal Summit, gay news, Washington Blade
Erin Uritus (Photo courtesy of Out & Equal)

In much of America, you can still be fired for being gay. You can be denied government services. You can lose your home. Ensuring our basic civil rights protections is at the heart of the cases that the Supreme Court is hearing this week. Businesses have been a key community that have stood with us in this legal effort. They signed on to a friend-of-the-court brief in record numbers, and they are a key component of the coalition that is pushing to pass the Equality Act.

There is another important way that businesses, and other large employers, are showing up for us. Next week, more than 6,000 people will be coming to Washington, D.C. to take part in the Out & Equal Workplace Summit, the largest gathering of LGBTQ professionals anywhere in the world. These attendees come from 38 countries and represent more than 70% of Fortune 1000 companies. And itā€™s not just the business sector; five U.S. government agencies are also sponsoring this conference.

Summit is a forum for thought leadership. It brings together a richly diverse group who raise ideas and programs that push the envelope, who give visibility to often ignored identities, and who establish best and next practices. Summit workshops and stages are where the next iteration of LGBTQ workforce inclusion is showcased: The future is pan. It is non-binary. It is unafraid to call out racism. It openly acknowledges the significance of mental health at work.

What started as a small gathering 20 years ago has grown into a powerful testament of the commitment of leaders of large businesses to further equality and belonging. What can explain this meteoric growth?

First, large businesses increasingly understand that fostering inclusion impacts their bottom line. When people can show up authentically at work, unencumbered by fears ā€“ of social isolation, judgment, or worse ā€“ simply because they happen to be LGBTQ, individuals, teams and, yes, businesses and other types of organizations thrive.

This business case is particularly pronounced when it comes to recruiting and retaining top talent. Companies who fail to create a workplace atmosphere where employees feel comfortable end up losing out. Younger generations, Millennials and Generation Z, identify as not ā€œexclusively heterosexualā€ in far higher rates than older generations. Business leaders have figured out that they need to adapt if theyā€™re going to survive.

Second, Out & Equal has transformed its approach to facilitate and support the type of interaction professionals and organizations need to succeed in these times. Historically, organizations like ours invested in developing proprietary knowledge and passing it out to the businesses that we want to impact. That top-down approach may have been the norm in the past, but it is no way to get things done in todayā€™s interconnected world. Itā€™s also a wastefully inefficient way to bring change.

Our approach starts with the recognition that nobody has a monopoly on good ideas. Rather, the people within these companies and government agencies who work ā€“ day in, day out ā€“ on improving the work lives of LGBTQ employees have a great deal of knowledge. We can do more for our cause by creating opportunities for these practitioners to come together, learn from each other, and co-create better solutions to the challenges that need to be addressed.

The 6,000 people who will be at the Workplace Summit will certainly have the opportunity to learn from each other. But itā€™s not the only such opportunity available to them.

In the United States, we know that there are different religious and cultural contexts that impact what itā€™s like to lead LGBTQ lives. Life in San Francisco or New York is different than in the rural South. The tools that have been used successfully in big cities to impact workplaces need to be tailored in order to be as effective in rural settings. This awareness drove us to convene two forums this year in the South. By bringing southerners together to explore the obstacles they face, and the solutions that have worked in their companies, we can catalyze change. The answer is never one-size-fits-all.

The same logic applies to our work outside of the United States. We forge partnerships across Latin America and hold summits in Brazil, India, and China. We know that the most impactful thing to do is bring together our partners who function in those regions so that they can figure out together the strategies and nuances that they need to pursue to make their workplaces ones where all people are equal, belong, and thrive.

You might be surprised to hear that businesses are sharing their best practices with one another. They certainly are! I can tell you, in these trying times, they are less interested in competing in the areas of diversity and inclusion, than in coming together to more efficiently improve their organizational cultures. This realization drove us to develop a new online Global Hub (in partnership with JP Morgan Chase) that gives change agents in each organization a secure portal in which they can engage with their colleagues at other businesses ā€“ anytime, anywhere.

The legal advocacy being done to protect LGBTQ rights to employment, at the Supreme Court and vis-Ć -vis the Equality Act, matters. As our community pursues these basic protections, we also need to invest in what it takes for each of us to be ourselves and to thrive at work.

Work is where we spend most of our waking hours. We interact with our coworkers. We brainstorm together. We grab coffee together. It is who we share our lives with. But too many people in our community, even if they do not fear that they will be fired for who they are, do not work in a space that allows them to fully share who they are. The work that gets done at Summit in Washington next week, and all around the year by Out & Equal and our partners, is how this reality gets better.

Erin Uritus is CEO of Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, the worldā€™s premier nonprofit dedicated to achieving global LGBTQ workplace equality.

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Commentary

Sexting with younger guy has me asking: How queer am I?

Reflections on LGBTQ life in 2024

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Jake Stewart is a recovering Hill staffer based in D.C. In addition to writing, he barbacks at the Little Gay Pub."

Once upon a time, not all that long ago, a man sexted another man. 

There were words. There were pictures. There were filthy questions and even filthier responses. You know, the way a good sexting convo ought to be, for those who dabble. 

One man was 33. The other, 24. And while it comes as no shock that I was the 33-year-old, it may be more surprising to learn it was the 24-year-old who grabbed the reins. 

What kinks you into? he asked. 

Shit ā€“ I didnā€™t know. I barely even bottomed before the pandemic, and now I had to know my kinks? 

Iā€™m open, I replied, evasively. You? 

His response left me coughing: ā€œLove musk sweat ws public group rough bb verbal bate edge roleplay and very open-minded.ā€ 

Now Iā€™m no prude (in fact, many would call me a downright whore) but this young man articulating his kinks and fetishes in such detail blew my mind. When did he learn what he liked? At 24, all I wanted was to top a guy and leave with as little communication or attachment as possible. At 33, I wasnā€™t sure what a few of the items he listed even meant.  

Perhaps I shouldnā€™t be surprised when young men ā€” and the younger generation across the LGBTQ spectrum in general ā€” have already figured out their sexual interests. I arrived in D.C. from Idaho in 2008 as a fresh-faced 18-year-old; I came out three years later in 2011. Attitudes toward queerness have shifted substantially since then, and these days it is undeniably easier for younger people to explore their sexual and gender identities (which, by the way, is fantastic). 

But this conversation left me wondering: What do I like? I havenā€™t sought out that many new sexual experiences, and while fetishes, kinks, and sexual desires can seem trivial, theyā€™re inextricably intertwined with gender and relationships. If I canā€™t articulate what I like in the sack (or in public, if I dare), then how do I know what Iā€™m seeking from a long-term partner, or if thatā€™s even what I want? 

As soon as I came out, I thought my job was done. All I needed after that was to snatch up a cutie and settle down. Instead, my identity centered on building my career in politics, where sexual openness isnā€™t as appreciated. I, like many D.C. queers around me, moved here bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready to change the world for good. 

Then came a tough lesson: Just because I wanted to improve the world didnā€™t mean people wanted me to. I was inexplicably fired from not one job but two, and suddenly the do-gooder in me grew jaded. The career I dedicated years to was suddenly ripped from my hands, and I became so disillusioned I didnā€™t even want it back. Oh, and the cherry on top: My boyfriend dumped me two days later. 

Once everything unraveled, I wondered: Was the me of the past the me I truly wanted? Or was I reflecting back what I thought everyone wanted me to be? 

Well, a few major meltdowns and an extended slut phase later, my life couldnā€™t be more different. I now work at a new gay bar in town to support myself, and Iā€™ve given myself space to pursue the arts. This former straight-laced, type-A, tightly wound gay abandoned the safe track and he couldnā€™t be more terrified. He also couldnā€™t be more excited. 

But losing my old career also left an existential-sized hole in my identity. So, as I sexted this 24-year-old with newfound awareness of my limitations, I decided this must change. 

How? As I said, I work at a gay bar in one of the queerest cities in America. Now more than ever Iā€™m surrounded by those who are LGBTQ and every shade in between. Why not learn from those around me, whether younger, older, or around the same age, but whose experiences are no less queer? Why not carve out time to have in-depth discussions and discover what the possibilities are? 

If being queer means to go against the established norms of gender and sexuality, then thereā€™s still plenty of territory for me to explore. No longer can ā€˜bottomā€™ or ā€˜topā€™ be my only options. 

So, the purpose of this column ā€“ aptly titled Queer Quest ā€“ is to capture my exploration of queer identity. Itā€™s not to teach you as much as it is to teach myself, and you can either learn alongside me or simply be entertained. At the very least, Iā€™ll have a series of portraits on what itā€™s like to be queer in the mid 2020s. At most, Iā€™ll have a better understanding of who I am as a queer person. 

Then maybe, just maybe, Iā€™ll become a better sexter. 

Jake Stewart is a D.C.-based writer.

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What will you do to make Pride safe this year?

Anxiety reigns among American Jews after Oct. 7

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(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Each year, hundreds of thousands of Jews and supporters of Israel attend Pride marches. With a few exceptions, these spaces have always been safe and welcoming for the broader Pride community. 

But this year is different. 

For American Jews, anxiety reigns as we head into this Pride season. The appalling rise of antisemitism since Oct. 7 forces us to ask difficult questions. As many Jews increasingly feel alienated and excluded from progressive spaces, weā€™re left to wonder: If I wear a Jewish symbol, march with a Jewish group, or wave a rainbow flag adorned with the Star of David, will I be safe at Pride?

Even before Oct. 7, LGBTQ Jews had plenty of reason to feel trepidation about their safety at Pride. From blanket bans on Stars of David at past Pride gatherings to antisemitism on display at the recent Sydney Pride, too often Jews feel forced to choose between their LGBTQ and Jewish identities and hide their connection to Israel.

Since Oct. 7, terms like “apartheid,” “genocide” and “Zionism equals racism” are increasingly thrown around casually, often without a nuanced understanding of their impact or the realities they oversimplify. This rhetoric not only alienates but also endangers Jewish queer people. It makes us feel emotionally unsafe. It increases the chances that we will be physically unsafe as well. 

We must not allow the Israel-Palestine conflict to be imported into Pride.

I will always remember the euphoria of the first Pride rally I attended. I was barely 18 years old, in a crowd of people of all ages, races, genders and gender orientations ā€” and they were like me. Queer. It felt safe. It was the first time I experienced that feeling of safety, and it will always stay with me. 

Like Pride events everywhere, it was a vibrant, colorful space for LGBTQ people to celebrate our true authentic selves, without fear or reservation.

But that feeling of safety wasnā€™t shared by everyone in my small New England town. I soon noticed a few people scattered throughout the crowd wearing paper bags over their heads, with eye holes so they could see but not be seen. I later learned that those faceless people were teachers who, in those days before civil rights protections, needed to protect their identities and their careers. 

They did not feel safe. Will Jews and those who are connected to Israel feel safe this year?

The history of Pride is a testament to courage in the face of adversity. It wasn’t long ago when attending Pride events was a defiant act against societal norms, where participants like those teachers faced tangible threats of discrimination, ridicule and even violence. Even today in some places, our queer community still navigates a gauntlet of hatred as we try to celebrate who we are.

It’s crucial to recognize that within the Jewish community, there is a wide spectrum of views on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, including many who are deeply committed to advocating for Palestinian rights. In fact, many of the 1,200 innocent Israelis murdered on Oct. 7 were Zionists who devoted their lives to reconciliation and peace with their Arab neighbors.

We are at a pivotal moment, one that demands action: What can we do to ensure Pride remains a safe space for everyone, including Jewish participants?

It’s imperative that Pride committees around the country proactively address these concerns. They must implement training programs focused on de-escalation and fostering an environment of understanding and respect.

As individuals who stand in solidarity with the values of Pride, each of us must consider our role in this effort. Will you march alongside those of us who feel vulnerable, offering your presence as a shield against intolerance? Will you engage in dialogues that challenge the importation of external conflicts into Pride, advocating instead for a celebration that unites rather than divides?

The true test of inclusivity at Pride lies not merely in welcoming a diverse crowd, but in ensuring that every participant feels safe and valued. If we remain indifferent to the vulnerabilities faced by Jewish queer people this Pride season, we will fall short of the very ideals of inclusivity and solidarity that Pride stands for.

Just as we expect schools to protect trans and nonbinary students like Nex Benedict, we have a responsibility in the LGBTQ community to ensure that people can carry an Israeli flag or a Palestinian flag, wear a yarmulke or a hijab and be safe.

As we look forward to this year’s Pride, let us commit to making it a space where safety is not a privilege afforded to some but a right enjoyed by all. Let’s engage with our local Pride committees, advocate for comprehensive safety measures and stand in solidarity with those who feel at risk.Ā 

Only then can we celebrate the true spirit of Pride, rooted in love, acceptance and the unwavering belief in equality for all.

Ethan Felson is the executive director of A Wider Bridge.

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Opinions

How to protect your sobriety on St. Patrickā€™s Day

Celebrate with a supportive friend and carry a mocktail

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Sobriety can be challenging, whether you overcame alcohol or drug addiction or chose to abstain from alcohol for a healthier life. Holidays like St. Patrickā€™s Day can serve as a reminder of the past or could be looked at as another day. 

Many celebrate St. Patrickā€™s Day sober, as there are generally family-friendly gatherings, community events, or even sober celebrations. If you have concerns about your sobriety, there are practical tips you can use to protect it on St. Patrickā€™s Day. 

For instance, remind yourself why you are sober, and donā€™t do it alone. You can still have fun and celebrate but do it with other sober people. Everyone has their reasons for stopping drinking; remind yourself of those reasons and hold yourself accountable.  

Know your triggers; it doesnā€™t matter if you are a recovering addict or have removed alcohol from your life. Be cautious around possible triggers that pose a challenge. Most people in this situation choose to skip the bar and find something fun to do or go to a sober St. Patrickā€™s Day celebration. 

Keep a non-alcoholic drink or mocktail in your hand. People will not bother you to ask if you want a drink if you already have something to sip on, like a mocktail. This also leads to planning how to say no. You will encounter social pressure if you go to a bar on St. Patrickā€™s Day. Itā€™s unavoidable. Itā€™s wise to practice ways to refuse alcohol. 

Finally, if all else fails, take a walk outside if you feel overwhelmed. The most straightforward solutions are usually the best. Remove yourself from any situation you know will lead to relapse. This is also why itā€™s essential to be with a sober friend or loved one; there is accountability and someone to lean on.

The benefits of being sober are plentiful, along with the numerous health perks, such as better quality sleep, more mental alertness, and lessened anxiety or depression. Yet, there is one benefit that is not necessarily always spoken about. 

Being sober on St. Patrickā€™s Day or any day removes all chances of impaired driving. Unfortunately, days that promote heavy alcohol use may increase the chances of drunk or drugged driving. For example, in Washington State, impaired driving has been involved in roughly half of fatal crashes for decades. In 2022, 52% of traffic fatalities involved an impaired driver, according to the Traffic Safety Commission. 

Moreover, drivers ages 21 to 30 make up one-third of impaired drivers in fatal crashes, and another 20% are ages 31 to 40. If you are celebrating St. Patrickā€™s Day sober, take the necessary precautions and look out for one another. If you choose to consume alcohol, drink responsibly, know your limits, and do not drink and drive.

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