District of Columbia
Catching up with the asexuals and aromantics of D.C.
Exploring identity and finding community
There was enough commotion in the sky at the Blossom Kite Festival that bees might have been pollinating the Washington Monument. I despaired of quickly finding the Asexuals and Aromantics of the Mid-Atlantic—I couldn’t make out a single asexual flag among the kites up above. I thought to myself that if it had been the Homosexuals of the Mid-Atlantic I would’ve had my gaydar to rely on. Was there even such a thing as ace-dar?
As it turned out, the asexual kite the group had meant to fly was a little too pesky to pilot. “Have you ever used a stunt kite?” Bonnie, the event organizer asked me. “I bought one. It looked really cool. But I can’t make it work.” She sighed. “I can’t get the thing six feet off the ground.” The group hardly seemed to care. There was caramel popcorn and cookies, board games and head massages, a game of charades with more than its fair share of Pokémon. The kites up above might as well have been a coincidental sideshow. Nearly two dozen folks filtered in and out of the picnic throughout the course of the day.
But I counted myself lucky that Bonnie picked me out of the crowd. If there’s such a thing as ace-dar, it eludes asexuals too. The online forum for all matters asexual, AVEN, or the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, is filled with laments: “I don’t think it’s possible.” “Dude, I wish I had an ace-dar.” “If it exists, I don’t have it.” “I think this is just like a broken clock is right twice a day type thing.” What seems to be a more common experience is meeting someone you just click with—only to find out later that they’re asexual. A few of the folks I met described how close childhood friends of theirs likewise came out in adulthood, a phenomenon that will be familiar to many queer people. But it is all the more astounding for asexuals to find each other this way, given that asexual people constitute 1.7% of sexual minorities in America, and so merely .1% of the population at large.
To help other asexuals identify you out in the world, some folks wear a black ring on their middle finger, much as an earring on the right ear used to signify homosexuality in a less welcoming era. The only problem? The swinger community—with its definite non-asexuality—has also adopted the signal. “It’s still a thing,” said Emily Karp. “So some people wear their ace rings just to the ace meet-ups.” Karp has been the primary coordinator for the Asexuals and Aromantics of the Mid-Atlantic (AAMA) since 2021, and a member of the meet-up for a decade. She clicked with the group immediately. After showing up for a Fourth of July potluck in the mid-afternoon, she ended up staying past midnight. “We played Cards against Humanity, which was a very, very fun thing to do. It’s funny in a way that’s different than if we were playing with people that weren’t ace. Some of the cards are implying, like, the person would be motivated by sex in a way that’s absurd, because we know they aren’t.”
Where so many social organizations withered during the pandemic, the AAMA flourished. Today, it boasts almost 2,000 members on meetup.com. Karp hypothesized that all the social isolation gave people copious time to reflect on themselves, and that the ease of meeting up online made it convenient as a way for people to explore their sexual identity and find community. Online events continue to make up about a third of the group’s meet-ups. The format allows people to participate who live farther out from D.C. And it allows people to participate at their preferred level of comfort: while many people participate much as they would at an in-person event, some prefer to watch anonymously, video feed off. Others prefer to participate in the chat box, though not in spoken conversation.
A recent online event was organized for a discussion of Rhaina Cohen’s book, “The Other Significant Others,” published in February. Cohen’s book discusses friendship as an alternative model for “significant others,” apart from the romantic model that is presupposed to be both the center and goal of people’s lives. The AAMA group received the book with enthusiasm. “It literally re-wired my brain,” as one person put it. People discussed the importance of friendship to their lives, and their difficulties in a world that de-prioritized friendship. “I can break up with a friend over text, and we don’t owe each other a conversation,” one said. But there was some disagreement when it came to the book’s discussion of romantic relationships. “It relegates ace relationships to the ‘friend’ or ‘platonic’ category, to the normie-reader,” one person wrote in the chat. “Our whole ace point is that we can have equivalent life relationships to allo people, simply without sex.” (“Allo” is shorthand for allosexual or alloromantic, people who do experience sexual or romantic attraction.)
The folks of the AAMA do not share a consensus on the importance of romantic relationships to their lives. Some asexuals identify as aromantic, some don’t. And some aromantics don’t identify as asexual, either. The “Aromantic” in the title of the group is a relatively recent addition. In 2017, the group underwent a number of big changes. The group was marching for the first time in D.C. Pride, participating in the LGBTQ Creating Change conference, and developing a separate advocacy and activism arm. Moreover, the group had become large enough that discussions were opened up into forming separate chapters for D.C., Central Virginia, and Baltimore. During those discussions, the group leadership realized that aromantic people who also identified as allosexual didn’t really have a space to call their own. “We were thinking it would be good to probably change the name of the Meetup group,” Emily said. “But we were not 100% sure. Because [there were] like 1,000 people in the group, and they’re all aces, and it’s like, ‘Do you really want to add a non-ace person?’” The group leadership decided to err on the side of inclusion. “You know, being less gatekeep-y was better. It gave them a place to go — because there was nowhere else to go.”
The DC LGBT Center now sponsors a support group for both asexuals and aromantics, but it was formed just a short while ago, in 2022. The founder of the group originally sought out the center’s bisexual support group, since they didn’t have any resources for ace folks. “The organizer said, you know what, why don’t we just start an ace/aro group? Like, why don’t we just do it?” He laughed. “I was impressed with the turnout, the first call. It’s almost like we tapped into, like, a dam. You poke a hole in the dam, and the water just rushes out.” The group has a great deal of overlap with the AAMA, but it is often a person’s first point of contact with the asexual and aromantic community in D.C., especially since the group focuses on exploring what it means to be asexual. Someone new shows up at almost every meeting. “And I’m so grateful that I did,” one member said. “I kind of showed up and just trauma dumped, and everyone was really supportive.”
Since the ace and aro community is so small, even within the broader queer community, ace and aro folks often go unrecognized. To the chagrin of many, the White House will write up fact sheets about the LGBTQI+ community, which is odd, given that when the “I” is added to the acronym, the “A” is usually added too. OKCupid has 22 genders and 12 orientations on its dating website, but “aromantic” is not one of them — presumably because aromantic people don’t want anything out of dating. And since asexuality and aromanticism are defined by the absence of things, it can seem to others like ace and aro people are ‘missing something.’ One member of the LGBT center support group had an interesting response. “The space is filled by… whatever else!” they said. “We’re not doing a relationship ‘without that thing.’ We’re doing a full scale relationship — as it makes sense to us.”
CJ Higgins is a postdoctoral fellow with the Alexander Grass Humanities Institute at Johns Hopkins University.
District of Columbia
Laverne Cox, Reneé Rapp, Deacon Maccubbin named WorldPride grand marshals
Three LGBTQ icons to lead parade
WorldPride organizers announced Thursday that actress and trans activist Laverne Cox, powerhouse performer Reneé Rapp, and LGBTQ trailblazer Deacon Maccubbin will serve as grand marshals for this year’s WorldPride parade.
The Capital Pride Alliance, which is organizing WorldPride 2025 in Washington, D.C., revealed the honorees in a press release, noting that each has made a unique contribution to the fabric of the LGBTQ community.
Cox made history in 2014 as the first openly transgender person nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award in an acting category for her role in Netflix’s “Orange Is the New Black.” She went on to win a Daytime Emmy in 2015 for her documentary “Laverne Cox Presents: The T Word,” which followed seven young trans people as they navigated coming out.
Rapp, a singer and actress who identifies as a lesbian, rose to prominence as Regina George in the Broadway musical “Mean Girls.” She reprised the role in the 2024 film adaptation and also stars in Max’s “The Sex Lives of College Girls,” portraying a character coming to terms with her sexuality. Rapp has released an EP, “Everything to Everyone,” and an album, “Snow Angel.” She announced her sophomore album, “Bite Me,” on May 21 and is slated to perform at the WorldPride Music Festival at the RFK Festival Grounds.
Deacon Maccubbin, widely regarded as a cornerstone of Washington’s LGBTQ+ history, helped organize D.C.’s first Gay Pride Party in 1975. The event took place outside Lambda Rising, one of the first LGBTQ bookstores in the nation, which Maccubbin founded. For his decades of advocacy and activism, he is often referred to as “the patriarch of D.C. Pride.”
“I am so honored to serve as one of the grand marshals for WorldPride this year. This has been one of the most difficult times in recent history for queer and trans people globally,” Cox said. “But in the face of all the rhetorical, legislative and physical attacks, we continue to have the courage to embrace who we truly are, to celebrate our beauty, resilience and bravery as a community. We refuse to allow fear to keep us from ourselves and each other. We remain out loud and proud.”
“Pride is everything. It is protection, it is visibility, it is intersectional. But most importantly, it is a celebration of existence and protest,” Rapp said.
The three will march down 14th Street for the WorldPride Parade in Washington on June 7.
District of Columbia
LGBTQ leaders celebrate Frank Kameny’s 100th birthday at Supreme Court
Advocates march, deliver speeches to remember activist’s many contributions
More than 100 people joined the leaders of a dozen prominent national LGBTQ rights organizations on May 21 to celebrate the 100th birthday of iconic D.C. gay rights pioneer Frank Kameny on the steps of the U.S. Supreme Court building in the nation’s capital.
Kameny, who passed away on Oct. 11, 2011, on National Coming Out Day, has been hailed as one of the founding leaders of the modern LGBTQ rights movement.
Among other things, he became the first openly gay man to file an appeal about gay rights to the U.S. Supreme Court, which was among the reasons organizers of his birthday celebration chose to hold it at the Supreme Court.
“Today is the 100th birthday of Frank Kameny, the founder of the LGBTQ civil rights movement,” said Malcolm Lazin, who served as national chair of the committee that organized the Kameny 100th birthday event. Frank is one of the nation’s most consequential civil rights leaders,” Lazin told the gathering in opening remarks.
“We are in front of the Supreme Court because Frank believed in the Constitution’s promise of equality for all Americans,” he said. “He based his liberation strategy against systemic homophobia on that promise.”
Participants in the event, many of whom were young LGBTQ activists from New York City, carried 100 candles to commemorate Kameny’s birthday.
They were joined by the national LGBTQ organization leaders who formed a ceremonial picket line carrying replicas of the “homosexual rights” signs used in the 1965 historic first gay protest outside the White House organized by Kameny and his supporters from the Mattachine Society of Washington, a gay rights group that Kameny helped to form.
Among speakers at the event was Jim Obergefell, the lead plaintiff in the same-sex marriage lawsuit that resulted in the 2015 U.S. Supreme Court decision legalizing same-sex marriage nationwide. Obergefell noted that the Kameny birthday celebration marks the 10th anniversary of the high court’s marriage decision and recalls for him Kameny’s role as a strong supporter of legalizing same-sex marriage.
Obergefell and U.S. Sen. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wisc.), the Senate’s first openly lesbian member, served as national honorary co-chairs of the Kameny 100th birthday celebration.
Ross Murray, a vice president of GLAAD, told how Kameny used an effective strategy to fight homophobia both for the public and to many in the LGBTQ community who experienced internalized homophobia due to societal pressure.
“So, using the model of ‘Black is Beautiful,’ Frank turned perceptions upside down when he coined ‘Gay is Good,’” Murray said. “And he carried that on a picket sign in 1970 at the first New York Pride Parade.”
Washington Blade editor Kevin Naff told the gathering that the early 1960s era newsletter of the Mattachine Society of Washington, that Kameny helped to start, evolved into the early version of the Washington Blade in 1969.
“Frank recognized the importance of community building and engagement by having a reliable community news source,” Naff said. “We are honored to join in the 100th birthday tribute to one of our founders, Frank Kameny.”
Japer Bowles, director of D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs, said the mayor’s office is proud that the city hosted Kameny’s 100th birthday celebration. Bowles announced that Bowser issued an official mayoral proclamation declaring May 21, 2025, Frank Kameny Centennial Day.
In her proclamation Bowser recites many of Kameny’s accomplishments in advancing LGBTQ rights in D.C. and across the nation and concludes by stating she commends “this observance to all Washingtonians with a reminder to always remember, as Frank Kameny often said, ‘Gay is Good.’”
Others who spoke included Keith Joseph of the LGBTQ group Equality Forum, Ben Garcia of the American LGBTQ+ Museum, Saul Levin of the American Psychiatric Association, Kevin Jennings of LGBTQ attorneys’ group Lambda Legal, Elliot Imse of the LGBTQ Victory Institute, Jay Brown of the Human Rights Campaign, Philadelphia City Council member Rue Landau, D.C. Capital Pride Alliance and WorldPride organizer June Crenshaw, Anya Marino of Advocates for Transgender Rights, Sultan Shakir of PFLAG, and Aaron Tax of SAGE.
U.S. Rep. Ritchie Torres (D-N.Y.), who is gay, was scheduled to speak at the event but had to cancel due to a House committee vote scheduled around the same time, Lazin told the Blade. Rep. Mark Takano, who’s gay, spoke at a lunch after the event to the LGBTQ leaders and praised Kameny’s many contributions to the LGBTQ movement.
District of Columbia
Blade’s Lou Chibbaro subject of new film premiering May 29
‘Lou’s Legacy’ looks back at 50-year career
Longtime Washington Blade reporter Lou Chibbaro Jr. is the subject of a new documentary film premiering on May 29 in D.C.
The world premiere of the film by Emmy-nominated director Patrick Sammon will take place at the Martin Luther King Jr. Library auditorium in D.C. on May 29 at 6:30 p.m.
“Lou’s Legacy: A Reporter’s Life at the Washington Blade”(29 minutes) tells the story of D.C.’s tumultuous and inspiring LGBTQ history through the lens of veteran reporter Lou Chibbaro’s reporting during nearly five decades at the Blade. The film features renowned D.C. drag performer Donnell Robinson who has been entertaining Washington’s LGBTQ community since 1975 as “Ella Fitzgerald.” Chibbaro and Robinson reflect on their careers and discuss the rising backlash against the LGBTQ community, including laws targeting drag performers.
As a reporter, Chibbaro made a point of focusing on the people and issues that were regularly ignored or distorted by mainstream outlets: the HIV/AIDS epidemic, hate crimes, and the fight for LGBTQ civil rights.
“Lou and Donnell are cornerstones of D.C.’s LGBTQ community,” said Sammon, the film’s director and producer. “I have great respect for both of them and hope this film celebrates in some small way their contribution to our city. It’s especially appropriate to premiere this documentary during WorldPride as people from all over the world gather in D.C. to celebrate our community and find inspiration to continue fighting for LGBTQ equality.”
Sammon and his production team were given unprecedented access to more than 300 archival boxes of meticulously kept reporter’s files, documents, and audio tapes that Chibbaro saved and donated to George Washington University’s Gelman Special Collections Library. In addition, the Washington Blade granted Sammon access to its photo archive of compelling and emotional images, most of which have not been seen for decades.
Charles Francis, president of Mattachine Society said, “The Mattachine Society is so proud to have played a role in making this film happen, especially in this time of total erasure and efforts across the country to rewrite our history. With our work and support, Lou was able to preserve, donate, and help curate his thousands of pages of papers at George Washington University. That history cannot be erased. This film tells the story.”
Pate Felts, co-founder of the Mattachine Society, said, ”Lou’s archive, including more than 300 cartons of reporter’s files, holds thousands of stories of the men and women who suffered and fought for LGBTQ dignity and equality, at great professional and personal cost. Patrick’s film focuses on some of the most powerful ones to help educate all of us, especially younger generations, about the dues paid, the courage displayed and the hope that we all carry forward today.”
A panel discussion will follow the premiere screening of “Lou’s Legacy.” Aside from Chibbaro, Robinson, and Sammon, the conversation will feature Bladepublisher and co-owner Lynne Brown. D.C. journalist Rebekah Robinson will moderate the conversation.
“Lou’s Legacy: A Reporter’s Life at the Washington Blade” will broadcast in late June on MPT and WETA, the region’s leading PBS stations. The WETA broadcasts are set for Saturday, June 21 at 8 p.m. and Monday, June 23 at 9:30 p.m. The film will also stream on PBS.org starting June 21.
“Lou has had a front-row seat to 50 years of historic events; from covering the trial of Matthew Shepard’s murderers to observing the inauguration of President Obama from the Capitol Steps, Lou has seen it all,” said Blade editor Kevin Naff who has worked with Chibbaro for more than 20 years. “The film captures Lou’s dedication and tenacity and reminds us how far we’ve come as a community.”
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