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Catching up with the asexuals and aromantics of D.C.

Exploring identity and finding community

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Local asexuals and aromantics met recently on the National Mall.

There was enough commotion in the sky at the Blossom Kite Festival that bees might have been pollinating the Washington Monument. I despaired of quickly finding the Asexuals and Aromantics of the Mid-Atlantic—I couldn’t make out a single asexual flag among the kites up above. I thought to myself that if it had been the Homosexuals of the Mid-Atlantic I would’ve had my gaydar to rely on. Was there even such a thing as ace-dar?

As it turned out, the asexual kite the group had meant to fly was a little too pesky to pilot. “Have you ever used a stunt kite?” Bonnie, the event organizer asked me. “I bought one. It looked really cool. But I can’t make it work.” She sighed. “I can’t get the thing six feet off the ground.” The group hardly seemed to care. There was caramel popcorn and cookies, board games and head massages, a game of charades with more than its fair share of Pokémon. The kites up above might as well have been a coincidental sideshow. Nearly two dozen folks filtered in and out of the picnic throughout the course of the day.

But I counted myself lucky that Bonnie picked me out of the crowd. If there’s such a thing as ace-dar, it eludes asexuals too. The online forum for all matters asexual, AVEN, or the Asexual Visibility and Education Network, is filled with laments: “I don’t think it’s possible.” “Dude, I wish I had an ace-dar.” “If it exists, I don’t have it.” “I think this is just like a broken clock is right twice a day type thing.” What seems to be a more common experience is meeting someone you just click with—only to find out later that they’re asexual. A few of the folks I met described how close childhood friends of theirs likewise came out in adulthood, a phenomenon that will be familiar to many queer people. But it is all the more astounding for asexuals to find each other this way, given that asexual people constitute 1.7% of sexual minorities in America, and so merely .1% of the population at large. 

To help other asexuals identify you out in the world, some folks wear a black ring on their middle finger, much as an earring on the right ear used to signify homosexuality in a less welcoming era. The only problem? The swinger community—with its definite non-asexuality—has also adopted the signal. “It’s still a thing,” said Emily Karp. “So some people wear their ace rings just to the ace meet-ups.” Karp has been the primary coordinator for the Asexuals and Aromantics of the Mid-Atlantic (AAMA) since 2021, and a member of the meet-up for a decade. She clicked with the group immediately. After showing up for a Fourth of July potluck in the mid-afternoon, she ended up staying past midnight. “We played Cards against Humanity, which was a very, very fun thing to do. It’s funny in a way that’s different than if we were playing with people that weren’t ace. Some of the cards are implying, like, the person would be motivated by sex in a way that’s absurd, because we know they aren’t.” 

Where so many social organizations withered during the pandemic, the AAMA flourished. Today, it boasts almost 2,000 members on meetup.com. Karp hypothesized that all the social isolation gave people copious time to reflect on themselves, and that the ease of meeting up online made it convenient as a way for people to explore their sexual identity and find community. Online events continue to make up about a third of the group’s meet-ups. The format allows people to participate who live farther out from D.C. And it allows people to participate at their preferred level of comfort: while many people participate much as they would at an in-person event, some prefer to watch anonymously, video feed off. Others prefer to participate in the chat box, though not in spoken conversation.

A recent online event was organized for a discussion of Rhaina Cohen’s book, “The Other Significant Others,” published in February. Cohen’s book discusses friendship as an alternative model for “significant others,” apart from the romantic model that is presupposed to be both the center and goal of people’s lives. The AAMA group received the book with enthusiasm. “It literally re-wired my brain,” as one person put it. People discussed the importance of friendship to their lives, and their difficulties in a world that de-prioritized friendship. “I can break up with a friend over text, and we don’t owe each other a conversation,” one said. But there was some disagreement when it came to the book’s discussion of romantic relationships. “It relegates ace relationships to the ‘friend’ or ‘platonic’ category, to the normie-reader,” one person wrote in the chat. “Our whole ace point is that we can have equivalent life relationships to allo people, simply without sex.” (“Allo” is shorthand for allosexual or alloromantic, people who do experience sexual or romantic attraction.)

The folks of the AAMA do not share a consensus on the importance of romantic relationships to their lives. Some asexuals identify as aromantic, some don’t. And some aromantics don’t identify as asexual, either. The “Aromantic” in the title of the group is a relatively recent addition. In 2017, the group underwent a number of big changes. The group was marching for the first time in D.C. Pride, participating in the LGBTQ Creating Change conference, and developing a separate advocacy and activism arm. Moreover, the group had become large enough that discussions were opened up into forming separate chapters for D.C., Central Virginia, and Baltimore. During those discussions, the group leadership realized that aromantic people who also identified as allosexual didn’t really have a space to call their own. “We were thinking it would be good to probably change the name of the Meetup group,” Emily said. “But we were not 100% sure. Because [there were] like 1,000 people in the group, and they’re all aces, and it’s like, ‘Do you really want to add a non-ace person?’” The group leadership decided to err on the side of inclusion. “You know, being less gatekeep-y was better. It gave them a place to go — because there was nowhere else to go.”

The DC LGBT Center now sponsors a support group for both asexuals and aromantics, but it was formed just a short while ago, in 2022. The founder of the group originally sought out the center’s bisexual support group, since they didn’t have any resources for ace folks. “The organizer said, you know what, why don’t we just start an ace/aro group? Like, why don’t we just do it?” He laughed. “I was impressed with the turnout, the first call. It’s almost like we tapped into, like, a dam. You poke a hole in the dam, and the water just rushes out.” The group has a great deal of overlap with the AAMA, but it is often a person’s first point of contact with the asexual and aromantic community in D.C., especially since the group focuses on exploring what it means to be asexual. Someone new shows up at almost every meeting. “And I’m so grateful that I did,” one member said. “I kind of showed up and just trauma dumped, and everyone was really supportive.”

Since the ace and aro community is so small, even within the broader queer community, ace and aro folks often go unrecognized. To the chagrin of many, the White House will write up fact sheets about the LGBTQI+ community, which is odd, given that when the “I” is added to the acronym, the “A” is usually added too. OKCupid has 22 genders and 12 orientations on its dating website, but “aromantic” is not one of them — presumably because aromantic people don’t want anything out of dating. And since asexuality and aromanticism are defined by the absence of things, it can seem to others like ace and aro people are ‘missing something.’ One member of the LGBT center support group had an interesting response. “The space is filled by… whatever else!” they said.  “We’re not doing a relationship ‘without that thing.’ We’re doing a full scale relationship — as it makes sense to us.”

CJ Higgins is a postdoctoral fellow with the Alexander Grass Humanities Institute at Johns Hopkins University.

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District of Columbia

Reasons to be optimistic about 2026

Local thought leaders offer hope for the New Year

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HRC President Kelley Robinson, gay D.C. Council member Zachary Parker, and Rayceen Pendarvis are among those who expressed optimism about 2026. (Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

It was a year like no other. It began with Donald Trump’s inauguration in January 2025 and included a takeover of D.C. police, ICE raids, challenges for the local economy, and other events that have many queer Washingtonians ready for 2026.

As we prepare to welcome the New Year, the Blade asked a range of local thought leaders  about what makes them optimistic for 2026. Here are their responses.

June Crenshaw

Deputy Director, Capital Pride Alliance

What gives me optimism for 2026 is the way our LGBTQIA2S+ community supports one another – across identities, neighborhoods, and movements – and because we continue to build our collective powers; we demand and create safer, more inclusive spaces.

Zachary Parker

Ward 5 DC. Council member

I’m optimistic about the upcoming elections and the District’s continued fight for local autonomy. One thing I know for sure is that Washingtonians are tough and persistent, and we’re ready to face any challenge as we keep fighting for D.C. statehood.

Sister Jeannine Gramick

Co-founder of LGBTQ supportive New Ways Ministry

As a nun who thinks politically about the Catholic Church, I’m extremely optimistic that Pope Leo XIV will continue to welcome LGBTQ people. At the conclave, most cardinals knew Pope Francis had (then) Cardinal Proost in mind!

Adam Ebbin

Virginia State Senator representing parts of Arlington, Alexandria, and Fairfax Counties

I am excited about 2026 bringing the return of the pro-equality governor to Virginia. I believe that Abigail Spanberger will be a champion for LGBT people and it will also be the year that we can finally pass the necessary legislation to send a constitutional amendment to the voters that would guarantee marriage equality in the Virginia Constitution.

Howard Garrett

President, Capital Stonewall Democrats

In 2026, our community can be optimistic because we’ve proven, again and again, that when we organize, we win: at the ballot box, in the courts, and in our neighborhoods. Even amid challenge, LGBTQ+ Washingtonians and our allies are building stronger coalitions, electing champions, and advancing real protections that make daily life safer and more affirming for everyone.

Paul Kuntzler

D.C. LGBTQ activist since the early 1960s, co-founder of Capital Stonewall Democrats

Last Nov. 4, 11 states held elections and Democrats won almost all of the elections. Next Nov. 3, 2026, Democrats will win control of both the House and Senate …An Economist poll reported  that 15 percent to 20 percent of those who voted for Trump no longer support him. The results of the elections of Nov. 3, 2026, will be the beginning of the end of Trump and his racist and criminal regime.

Kelley Robinson

President, Human Rights Campaign

This past year has brought relentless attacks against the LGBTQ+ community, but it has also shown the resiliency of queer folks. While this administration has worked tirelessly to oppress us, we’ve met that oppression with courage. As we step into 2026, my hope is that we carry that energy forward and continue protecting one another, fighting back against injustice, and celebrating queer joy. If  2026 is anything like 2025, we know the challenges will be intense, but our community is more determined than ever to meet hate with resilience, and to turn struggle into strength.

Freddie Lutz

Owner, Freddie’s Beach Bar in Arlington and Rehoboth Beach

I am optimistic that the current  president will fulfill his promise to boost the economy. We are all suffering – businesses in D.C. I just read it is 17 to 18 percent down. And I’m hoping the president will boost the economy. I always try to remain optimistic.

Nicholas F. Benton

Owner & Editor, Falls Church News-Press

My optimism stems from my belief in the human capacity and generosity of spirit. Those who are committed to those qualities will find a way.

Richard Rosendall

Former president, D.C. Gay & Lesbian Activists Alliance

MAGA efforts to demonize LGBTQ people are dangerous but will fail overall because understanding and acceptance have grown and endured. The blue wave in November 2026 will show this.

TJ Flavell

Organizer, Go Gay DC

Hope springs eternal. Nurturing your own wellness is vital to the New Year, including enjoying social and cultural activities through such groups as Go Gay DC – Metro DC’s LGBTQ Community. Also, 2026 ushers in a new tax deduction for charitable giving. Check the IRS website for details. You can make a positive impact in the New Year by supporting good charitable causes like the D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center, a safe, inclusive, and affirming space where all members of our community can thrive.

Rayceen Pendarvis

Leader of Team Rayceen D.C. LGBTQ support organization 

I have experienced many trials and tribulations in my lifetime, throughout which my spirit has enabled me to find peace despite the turbulence around me. Being optimistic allows me to be a beacon of light for those who may be lost in the darkness.

Zar

Team Rayceen organizer

My reason for optimism is this: death. Life is a cycle of time, change, and destruction. Everything is impermanent; the time any person rules is finite and eventually all empires end.

DJ Honey

Team Rayceen supporter

Despite the noise, I see 2026 as a year where queer people continue choosing community over isolation. Even when challenged, our culture keeps evolving. We are more visible, more creative and intentional about building spaces that protect each other and center joy without asking permission.

Nick Tsusaki

Owner, Spark Social House, D.C. LGBTQ café and bar

I’m optimistic for 2026 because it feels like the tide is turning and we’re coming together as a community.

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District of Columbia

Rush reopens after renewing suspended liquor license

Principal owner says he’s working  to resolve payroll issue for unpaid staff

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Pictured is a scene from the preview night at Rush on Nov. 28. Rush reopened on Saturday after a brief closure. (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The D.C. LGBTQ bar and nightclub Rush reopened and was serving drinks to customers on Saturday night, Dec. 20, under a renewed liquor license three days after the city’s Alcoholic Beverage and Cannabis Board suspended the license on grounds that Rush failed to pay a required annual licensing fee.

In its Dec. 17 order suspending the Rush liquor license the ABC Board stated the “payment check was returned unpaid and alternative payment was not submitted.”

Jackson Mosley, Rush’s principal owner, says in a statement posted on the Rush website that the check did not “bounce,” as rumors circulating in the community have claimed. He said a decision was made to put a “hold” on the check so that Rush could change its initial decision to submit a payment for the license for three years and instead to pay a lower price for a one-year payment.

“Various fees and fines were added to the amount, making it necessary to replace the stop-payment check in person – a deadline that was Wednesday despite my attempts to delay it due to these circumstances,” Mosley states in his message.

He told the Washington Blade in an interview inside Rush on Saturday night, Dec. 20, that the Alcoholic Beverage and Cannabis Administration (ABCA) quickly processed Rush’s liquor license renewal following his visit to submit a new check.

He also reiterated in the interview some of the details he explained in his Rush website statement regarding a payroll problem that resulted in his employees not being paid for their first month’s work at Rush, which was scheduled to take place Dec. 15 through a direct deposit into the employees’ bank accounts.

Several employees set up a GoFundMe appeal in which they stated they “showed up, worked hard, and were left unpaid after contributing their time, labor, and professional skills to Rush, D.C.’s newest LGBTQ bar.” 

In his website statement Mosley says employees were not paid because of a “tax related mismatch between federal and District records,” which, among other things, involves the IRS. He said the IRS was using his former company legal name Green Zebra LLC while D.C. officials are using his current company legal name Rainbow Zebra LLC. 

“This discrepancy triggered a compliance hold within our payroll system,” he says in his statement. “The moment I became aware of the issue, I immediately engaged our payroll provider and began working to resolve it,” he wrote.

He added that while he is the founder and CEO of Rush’s parent and management company called Momentux, company investors play a role in making various decisions, and that the investors rather than he control a “syndicated treasury account” that funds and operates the payroll system.

He told the Blade that he and others involved with the company were working hard to resolve the payroll problem as soon as possible. 

“Every employee – past or present – will receive the pay they are owed in accordance with D.C. and federal law,” he says in his statement. “That remains my priority.” 

In a follow-up text message to the Blade on Sunday night, Dec. 21, Mosley said, “All performers, DJs, etc. have been fully paid.” 

He said Rush had 21 employees but “2 were let go for gross misconduct, 2 were let go for misconduct, 1 for moral turpitude, 2 for performance concerns.” He added that all of the remaining 14 employees have returned to work at the time of the reopening on Dec. 20. 

Rush held its grand opening on Dec. 5 on the second and third floors of a building at 2001 14th Street, N.W., with its entrance around the corner on U Street next to the existing LGBTQ dance club Bunker. 

With at least a half dozen or more LGBTQ bars located within walking distance of Rush in the U Street entertainment corridor, Mosley told the Blade he believes some of the competing LGBTQ bars, which he says believe Rush will take away their customers, may be responsible along with former employees of “rumors” disparaging him and Rush. 

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District of Columbia

New queer bar Rush beset by troubles; liquor license suspended

Staff claim they haven’t been paid, turn to GoFundMe as holidays approach

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A scene from the dance floor of Rush at a preview night on Friday, Nov. 28. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The D.C. Alcoholic Beverage and Cannabis Board on Dec. 17 issued an order suspending the liquor license for the recently opened LGBTQ bar and nightclub Rush on grounds that it failed to pay a required annual licensing fee.

Rush held its grand opening on Dec. 5 on the second and third floors of a building at 2001 14 Street, N.W., with its entrance around the corner on U Street next to the existing LGBTQ dance club Bunker. 

It describes itself on its website as offering “art-pop aesthetics, high-energy nights” in a space that “celebrates queer culture without holding back.” It includes a large dance floor and a lounge area with sofas and chairs.

Jackson Mosley, Rush’s principal owner, did not immediately respond to a phone message from the Washington Blade seeking his comment on the license suspension.  

The ABC Board’s order states, “The basis for this Order is that a review of the Board’s official records by the Alcoholic Beverage and Cannabis Administration (ABCA) has determined that the Respondent’s renewal payment check was returned unpaid and alternative payment was not submitted.”

The three-page order adds, “Notwithstanding ABCA’s efforts to notify the Respondent of the renewal payment check return, the Respondent failed to pay the license fee for the period of 2025 to 2026 for its Retailer’s Class CT license. Therefore, the Respondent’s license has been SUSPENDED  until the Respondent pays the license fees and the $50.00 per day fine imposed by the Board for late payment.”

ABCA spokesperson Mary McNamara told the Blade that the check from Rush that was returned without payment was for  $12,687, which she said was based on Rush’s decision to pay the license fee for four years. She said that for Rush to get its liquor license reinstated it must now pay $3,819 for a one-year license fee plus a $100 bounced check fee, a $750 late fee, and $230 transfer fee, at a total of $4,919 due.

Under D.C. law, bars, restaurants and other businesses that normally serve alcoholic beverages can remain open without a city liquor license as long as they do not sell or serve alcohol. 

But D.C. drag performer John Marsh, who performs under the name Cake Pop and who is among the Rush employees, said Rush did not open on Wednesday, Dec. 17, the day the liquor board order was issued. He said that when it first opened, Rush limited its operating days from Wednesday through Sunday and was not open Mondays and Tuesdays. 

Marsh also said none of the Rush employees received what was to be their first monthly salary payment on Dec. 15. He said approximately 20 employees set up a GoFundMe fundraising site to raise money to help sustain them during the holiday period after assuming they will not be paid.

He said he doubted that any of the employees would return to work in the unlikely case that Mosley would attempt to reopen Rush without serving liquor or if he were to pay the licensing fee to allow him to resume serving alcohol without having received their salary payment. 

As if all that were not enough, Mosley would be facing yet another less serious problem related to the Rush policy of not accepting cash payments from customers and only accepting credit card payments. A D.C. law that went into effect Jan. 1, 2025, prohibits retail businesses such as restaurants and bars from not accepting cash payments. 

A spokesperson for the D.C. Department of Licensing and Consumer Protection, which is in charge of enforcing that law, couldn’t immediately be reached to determine what the penalty is for a violation of the law requiring that type of business to accept cash payments.

The employee GoFundMe site, which includes messages from several of the employees, can be accessed here.

Mosley on Thursday responded to the reports about his business with a statement on the Rush website. 

He claims that employees were not paid because of a “tax-related mismatch between federal and District records” and that some performers were later paid. He offers a convoluted explanation as to why payroll wasn’t processed after the tax issue was resolved, claiming the bank issued paper checks.

“After contacting our payroll provider and bank, it was determined that electronic funds had been halted overnight,” according to the statement. “The only parties capable of doing so were the managers of the outside investment syndicate that agreed to handle our stabilization over the course of the initial three months in business.”  

Mosley further said he has not left the D.C. area and denounced “rumors” spread by a former employee. He disputes the ABCA assertion that the Rush liquor license was suspended due to a “bounced check.” Mosley ends his post by insisting that Rush will reopen, though he did not provide a reopening date.  

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