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QUEERY: Dawn Shafer

The women’s rights advocate answers 20 gay questions

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Dawn Shafer, gay news, Washington Blade

Dawn Shafer (Photo courtesy Shafer)

To organizers of the Women’s March on Washington, it’s not just a one-day event. Organizers see the effort as one of “movement mobilization” and skill sharing.

“The elections and the march are just catalysts for something much larger that is growing by the day,” says Stacy Small-Lorenz, one of the organizers. “It’s not just about women’s rights, but about women stepping up to lead a diverse social justice movement that this country and the world needs like never before.”

The Women’s March is Saturday, Jan. 21 from 7 a.m.-2 p.m. and will go from the Lincoln Memorial to the White House to “show our strength, power and courage and demonstrate our disapproval of the new president and his values in a peaceful march.”

All are welcome at this child-friendly event. Organizers are also embracing “those who need support the most” such as people of color, immigrants, Muslims, the LGBT community, disabled folks and more, in addition to women. Look for the event on Facebook for more details.

Many LGBT people in the Washington-Baltimore area are also involved such as Dawn Shafer, assistant dean of student services in the School of Social Work at the University of Maryland.

“As a bisexual, same-sex partnered mother of a 6-year-old girl, I am vigilant in my concern for the rights of women and LGBT folks,” says the 43-year-old State College, Pa., native. “I’m involved in helping to organize the march so that we, as representatives of all women, can make our anger and demands for equality clear to the incoming administration.”

Shafer and her wife, Danna Carroll, live in Baltimore’s Mt. Washington neighborhood with their daughter, Zoe. Shafer enjoys photography, gardening, home renovations, time with family and dogs in her free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell? 

This is a hard question. Being bisexual, people tend to make assumptions based on your current partnership. I’ve known that I was bi since high school and was pretty open about it with my friends. But I eventually married a man and everyone assumed that I was straight. We eventually divorced and I got together with my wife, at which point the coming-out process was more formalized. Being femme, I still feel like I have to come out on a consistent basis. I was probably most fearful of coming out to my grandmother. I remember sitting on my porch saying to her, “Grandma, I need to tell you that Danna and I are more than just friends” and her responding, “I knew there was something going on; you’re very attentive and sweet to each other.” My grandmother was a wonderful woman and I’m a lucky girl.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

Ellen DeGeneres. I appreciate that she is loudly and proudly out, yet lives what resembles a regular life. Plus, for God’s sake, she was just awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Obama!

What’s Baltimore’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Pre-kid: the Hippo. Now: My living room.

Describe your dream wedding.

My wife and I had our commitment ceremony at the Baltimore Museum of Art in the sculpture garden, surrounded by our closest friends and family. This was before we could be married in Maryland, so we were legally married during our honeymoon in Provincetown, on the beach, with just us and our officiant. Combined, they were pretty much a dream come true.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said it best: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Systemic oppression fuels inequality and pits us against each other. Fighting this is part of what the Women’s March on Washington is about.

What historical outcome would you change?

Anyone who has read “11/22/63” by Stephen King knows that this is a trick question.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

The election of our first black president.

On what do you insist?

An end to oppressive systems that privilege some while repressing others. Oh, and that our president be someone who doesn’t talk about grabbing women by the pussy.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

Undoubtedly it was something about: my daughter (happy), the election (angry) or the march (hopeful).

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“(One Way or Another) Things Work Out”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

It depends. Will the science have depended on stem cell research? If so, I would sit back, sip wine  and watch the conservatives run in circles trying to decide if the means was worth the end.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

Love, psychology, sleep.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Study what those who came before us did. Look for commonalities with other oppressed groups and invest in those relationships. Ask directly for what you want. Don’t back down.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

My daughter. Although, I think if you walk quickly, hot coals are really pretty manageable, right? So with that in mind, anything that’s important.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That there’s always a “man” and a “woman” in the relationship. That drives me up the wall. We’re both women folks, it’s time you come to terms with that!

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

I love “Jeffrey” with Steven Weber. Nothing beats “Queer as Folk” though.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Having various forms of address (Miss, Mrs., Ms.) for women, when we only need Mr. for men. Why are women’s titles still dependent on our relation to men?

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

My Ph.D. (coming in 2021 I hope!)

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

That everything you do leads you to where you end up. It’s all important and it all works out eventually.

Why Baltimore?

I was totally ambivalent about Baltimore until my daughter was born. Now my family is discovering the wonder of Baltimore together, in an amazing neighborhood with like-minded friends. Despite Baltimore’s hardships, it’s a resilient city with heart and grit.

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Summer in D.C. brings sports, Restaurant Week, festivals, and more

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Washington Spirit CEO Kim Stone hosts Pride Night OUT on Sunday, Aug. 23. (Photo courtesy of Washington Spirit)

Summer in D.C. just hits different. Congress is out, school is out, the sun is out, thighs are out. With the skies clearing from Canadian smoke, here are a few ways to stay entertained.

Dining

Summer restaurant week: The Restaurant Association of Metropolitan Washington (RAMW) is once again hosting Summer Restaurant Week, Aug. 18-24. This weeklong dining experience showcases the dynamic dining scene of the DMV, including 2026 RAMMY Award-winning favorites (the annual D.C. food awards show that took place June 29). Participating restaurants will offer three-course brunch and lunch selections for $25 or $35 per person, and three-course dinners for $40, $55 and $65 per person.

New Restaurants: A handful of new spots have opened, so the summer is a great time to check them out:

  • Oribu: A new Mediterranean-Japanese restaurant in the Grand Hyatt hotel, which just underwent a remodeling effort. The sleek restaurant brings upscale charm, with dishes like Wagyu beef tartare with potato pavé and caviar.
  • The Oak Room: A snazzy old-school American grill has just opened in Georgetown, alongside its sister upstairs supper club (Bernadette’s) restaurant, in the old El Centro space.
  • Uchi: This showy Japanese sushi-forward chain has landed in Dupont with a chef’s tasting menu of favorites like fatty tuna.
  • Kathmandu: Recalling the capital of Nepal, this warm, buzzy subterranean restaurant right in the heart of U Street brings spice, flair, and rare ingredients to its dishes (see: buffalo burgers) and drinks.

Sports

  • Washington Spirit Pride Night OUT: On Sunday, Aug. 23, head to Audi Field for a massive, high-energy game following the exciting month of World Cup. The designated Pride Night OUT game promises boisterous crowds plus pre- and post-game community engagements. 
  • Washington Tennis Open – Now called the Mubadala DC Open, this annual tournament is only combined mens’ and womens’ 500-level tennis tournament in the world. The open is one of D.C.’s longest-standing sports traditions, and will take place at the Rock Creek Park Tennis Center July 25-Aug. 2. Naomi Osaka, Venus Williams, Ben Shelton, Frances Tiafoe, and others are expected to play.

Festivals

  • Afro Plus Fest: This huge, three-day Afro-Caribbean Hip-Hop Festival brings together headliners Davido, Alkaline, and Wizkid, plus Tems and Ayra Starr. The event moves from RFK to the Northwest Stadium Complex for three days, Sept. 4-6.
  • Capital Fringe Festival: Running from July 11-21, this massive celebration features dozens of live theater, comedy, dance, and boundary-pushing nighttime performances across multiple DC neighborhoods. 
  • The National Book Festival returns, with headliners like Cynthia Erivo, and Martin Scorsese. The one-day festival, Saturday, Aug. 22, brings together bookworms and word nerds under the theme “America 250: It’s Your Story.” There are talks, workshops, musical sessions and more.
  • All Things Go: A three-day festival Sept. 25-27 at Merriweather Post Pavilion featuring Mitski, Hayley Williams, Brandi Carlile, MUNA, Zara Larsson, Ethel Cain, and many, many more artists. There are single-day and three-day tickets. Featuring and highlighting female artists, the festival has turned into a must-see for many LGBTQ audience members.
  • Fuchsia Fest: The inaugural Fuchsia Fest is a new multi-day celebration created to celebrate LGBTQ community and expression, bringing together a mix of community gatherings, entertainment, and nightlife. The event takes place Sept. 18-20 and is hosted by Capital Pride.

Art and Music

  • United We Dance: A high-energy rave with house, techno, bass, and festival music, on Aug. 1 at the 9:30 Club. 
  • The Fray. On Aug. 14, this American rock band famous for How To Save A Life is at Merriweather Post Pavilion.
  • Kesha: Kesha’s high-energy The Freedom Tour comes to the D.C. area on Aug. 14 at Jiffy Lube Live.
  • ALOK: On Sept. 3 at Lincoln Theater, ALOK (they/them) performs. The poet, comedian, and actor is putting on a new comedy show.
  • 2charm, the emerging Australian electronic club-pop duo popular with the queer community, which blends hyperpop and dance music, comes to the Atlantis.
  • Sapphic Dance Party: a vibrant, inclusive nightlife and social event designed specifically for queer women, lesbians, bisexuals, trans individuals, and nonbinary folks, at Atlantis on Aug. 21.
  • Jazz in the Garden: The most quintessential of D.C. activities returns Friday evenings through Aug. 14. This season’s theme, “American Sounds,” is a nod to the nation’s 250th anniversary. Tunes themes range from Appalachian and Americana to Creole jazz, Hill Country blues, contemporary jazz, and more. Tickets are available through a lottery system a week before each event.
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Tickets on sale for chef Patrick O’Connell’s book launch event

Sept. 18 kickoff to feature José Andrés, Tom Sietsema

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Acclaimed chef Patrick O’Connell is preparing to publish his new memoir, “Main, Middle & Gay” in September and he’s launching the book with an event on Sept. 18 at 6 p.m. at Lisner Auditorium featuring Chef José Andrés and former Washington Post food critic Tom Sietsema.

Tickets for the event go on sale Tuesday, July 21 at Ticketmaster; prices start at $55.

 O’Connell, who’s gay, is the pioneering Michelin-starred chef and longtime proprietor of the Inn at Little Washington. He spoke with the Blade about the September event and the launch of his first memoir.

 “I’ve known [Andrés and Sietsema] for more than 25 years and I have great respect for them,” O’Connell said. “I felt that it would allow us to add a different dimension rather than just have an interviewer. The chemistry will be fun and lively and unpredictable and exciting. I think we’re all different personalities and we’ll compliment each other.”

O’Connell has published cookbooks but this is his first memoir. The event will feature a short film that will highlight his work and the Inn.

“What I hope to do with the event is bring the book to life visually,” he said. “So we’re producing a short film that will be part of it. Most of the audience will not have read the book so it’ll give them a visual flavor of the book. It parallels the evolution of American cuisine over 50 years. It’s a rare perspective to be in the trenches for that long.”

The book’s title refers to the location of the garage on the corner of Main, Middle, and Gay streets in Washington, Va., where he launched his restaurant that became an international culinary destination. 

The Blade will publish the rest of its wide-ranging interview with O’Connell in September in conjunction with the book’s release.

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The queer Asian comics building collective joy in D.C.

Spotlighting chaotic ways family, romance, identity take shape in their lives

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Alex Kim performs at the Pride Comedy Special in Washington, D.C., on June 18, 2026. (Photo by Christina Lee/VOICES)

Kevin Chen’s family tombstone has room for four: him, his parents and his boyfriend. The arrangement might prove to be a little awkward. 

“My boyfriend is 100% white, and my parents are 100% disappointed,” Chen confessed.

Jokes about family traditions and the untraditional ways they’re practiced earned a burst of laughs at the bar where Chen was opening for the Pride Comedy Special. The D.C. stand-up event, produced by Comedy Bonfyre last month, spotlighted queer Asian comics who shared the chaotic ways family, romance and identity take shape in their lives. 

From candid oral sex takes to top surgery hypotheticals like “Where do the boobs go?”, the night highlighted the loud camaraderie of the queer Asian experience — one that sounds like a cacophony of snorts, cackles and belly laughs. While the comics say they are not quite a community, there’s more than enough shared material to bring them together. 

“It was such a magical experience. I loved performing in a queer API lineup. It feels so validating,” Chen said after the show. “I’m wondering, ‘Is this how white men feel all the time?’”

Each performance evoked queer Asian joy through a medium that could use more of its presence.

According to Chen, who is based in D.C., it’s hard to say whether there is a true queer Asian comedy presence in his city. There are only a scattered “handful” of Asian comics, and people of color are underrepresented in queer comic circles, he said. 

When Tarunika Anand, a nonbinary lesbian comic, first entered the mainstream D.C. comedy scene, they mostly encountered straight white men, describing the experience as “a culture shock.”

“I feel like sometimes a lot of queer spaces are really white, and then a lot of Asian spaces are really straight,” Anand said. “I don’t feel like I fit into either.”

But feeling marginalized didn’t stop these comics from honing their craft and creating spaces for others like them. Alex Kim, who headlined the special and is based in Brooklyn, runs the queer Asian comedy group Boba Gays, which began on WhatsApp and has since made its way to Lincoln Center. 

Every Wednesday, Anand co-produces a free comedy show called Funny Side Up. The queer-led group focuses on inclusivity and showcasing new talent.

“It’s really beautiful to speak about your experience and your existence in a way that’s uplifting,” Anand said. 

Family is a major throughline of their comedic repertoires. 

Chen, for instance, shared that he identifies with jokes about having Asian immigrant parents and the expectations they pass down. 

“You see me, you know this part about me, you know this experience intimately, and I can see the truth that you’re trying to wrap a joke around,” he said. “That hits even harder because that’s my truth too. I think that’s what makes good comedy.”

Anand had the audience at the special howling when they explained that their parents’ be-more-like-them comparisons didn’t end when they came out. Instead, the expectations took on a new form. 

“Now, my parents want me to be the best gay,” Anand said. “They’re like, ‘Do you know Ellen DeGeneres?’” 

Kim said he’s been trying to unlearn things from his Christian Korean mom. Yet he described a moment when he was getting ready for the club and realized he looked just like his mother getting ready for church. 

“I’ve been finding it hard to escape her,” Kim said. 

Mutual recognition also radiates through the different ways queer love can take shape. From singlehood to death-do-us-part commitments, the comics cover just about every corner.

Anand is holding out hope for settling down with “a nice, pretty, Indian girl.” They recently went through a breakup and said they felt they dodged a bullet. 

“As a person of color, I just don’t think I should be with a Swiftie,” they said. 

Chen, touching on what it’s like to be in a queer interracial relationship, said that meeting his white boyfriend’s baby nephew for the first time felt like he was forced to participate in a diversity, equity and inclusion training. 

“The dad was like, ‘Please welcome Kevin. Be curious about his culture, his history, his foods,’” Chen joked. 

Laughter is not the only reward for the comics.

To Anand, comedy is a space where they can say whatever they want. “It gives me a voice,” they said. 

Nik Narain, a North Carolina-based trans and nonbinary South Asian comic who performed at the special, said meeting older trans comedians and taking the stage helped him feel reassured in his identity during his transition. 

“Stand-up was a really cool way to process that onstage,” he said. “[It] became a way for me to repackage my thoughts.”

Queer Asians are still figuring out their place in the greater D.C. comedy scene. The group is small in numbers and many are still working toward a full-time comedy career. But Narain feels he’s already made it.

Narain is reluctant to pin it all on one moment. He feels that success is already peeking through in milestones — opening for celebrities, traveling to performances and self-producing shows.

“As long as I can keep doing this, I’m super happy,” he said.

This story was produced as part of the AAJA VOICES fellowship program, a student journalism project of the Asian American Journalists Association (AAJA).

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