Local
Someday we’ll be together?
Bi-national couple describes pain, anxiety of navigating U.S. immigration laws
You’re waiting on your partner and he’s late.
Most gays in that situation might be mildly irked, especially if a dinner reservation or theater tickets are at stake. Even if a few hours pass, you realize the likelihood that something serious has happened is small.
But when Kelly Cross, a local gay attorney, found himself waiting more than two hours at the Foggy Bottom Metro station last summer with no sign of his partner, who was scheduled to join him following a stint in Europe, it was a much more serious situation — it could have meant the end of their relationship.
Because the United States doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage at the federal level — where immigration is handled — bi-national same-sex couples have few options for staying together long-term in the U.S. or anywhere else. The 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) further complicates the matter.
Cross and his partner, who declined to be identified because it could increase his chances of being deported, had tried to make a go of it in Europe, spending more than a year together in Dusseldorf, Germany, but a bounty of practical considerations — most pressingly Cross’s cancer-stricken mother in West Virginia — made staying there untenable. Cross returned in June 2009. But on the July day when his partner was scheduled to arrive at Dulles Airport, Cross’s panic increased as time went by.
“I was going around calling all kinds of people,” Cross says. “I thought he’d gotten pulled over and sent to the detention center where they’re double- and triple-checking everything probably. They want to make sure these folks are not going to stay in the U.S. They have no idea of his life here, his friends and family. It’s terrifying to know that you could be traveling and get the wrong immigration officer and not be able to get back into the country and I would not be able to go back and say anything and have no right to appeal anything. We’re very much at their whim.”
It had already been a nerve-wracking month for Cross, 31. Since he’d returned to the United States, he’d spent a frantic month trying to find someone willing to give his partner a job. Without that, there was no hope for the partner to stay. Though the partner’s background is in public policy, he had some experience doing financial analysis in Europe and that led to a D.C. opportunity but one that they say is more of a temporary fix than a long-term career plan.
For the couple, who got serious quickly after meeting at Apex in 2007, it was just one more in a string of seemingly endless obstacles. The relationship is strong enough, they say, that it’s worth the constant anxiety and uncertainty.
Cross’s partner, also 31, came to the states from his native Poland in 2003 to study public policy at the University of Northern Iowa. Disenchanted with Iowa, he came to D.C. for an internship in 2006. Though he liked the U.S., he was planning to return to Poland or possibly somewhere else in Europe — wherever he might find a good job. His plans changed radically when he met Cross.
“This is an everyday concern, how are we going to survive,” the partner says. “In our situation, we’re lucky that we have sufficient funds to live in this not-very-pleasant situation, but I just cannot imagine if somebody is gay and working for McDonald’s and he has a boyfriend who is working for Burger King. I don’t think they are going to make it. They won’t make it for sure because they’re not able. But if there’s a couple who’s straight, they have all the rights and all possibilities to make it because it will be possible. A law that gives them the opportunity, one piece of paper, a marriage license, that gives all kinds of rights and we don’t have it.”
The couple did enter a New Jersey civil union last summer, but they say it was purely symbolic and has little practical benefit. The partner says although he understands the arguments of those who will settle only for marriage, he’d be happy with a federally recognized civil union.
“That would be fine, I don’t give a shit,” he says. “Just anything so I don’t have this headache every morning. I would be perfectly happy with a civil union.”
Cross and his partner are, of course, not alone. Immigration Equality, a gay rights advocacy group working to end discrimination in U.S. immigration law against LGBT people, points to Williams Institute figures based on the 2000 Census that indicate there are about 36,000 bi-national same-sex couples struggling to stay together in the U.S. They’re hoping the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA), versions of which date back to 2000, will solve the problem. Because its wording says “permanent partner,” activists say it wouldn’t conflict with DOMA, though they’re hopeful — as are virtually all gay activists — that DOMA will eventually be repealed.
But how are the odds looking for UAFA? Immigration Equality’s communications director Steve Ralls is optimistic.
“Now that health care is officially behind us, there are indications that Congress and the White House are turning to immigration reform in the coming weeks and months,” Ralls says. “The White House has called key lawmakers to plot a way forward for comprehensive immigration reform and as part of that process, we’re working very hard to ensure that the Uniting American Families Act is part of that comprehensive bill.”
If it fails there — and many are opposed to its inclusion — it could pass on its own but Ralls says Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer, supporters of the legislation, have told him they want to tackle a comprehensive bill before individual ones. U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont), who introduced UAFA in the Senate last year, is a key ally, Ralls says.
“He’s chair of the Judiciary Committee, which has enormous influence on what immigration bills move through Congress when,” Ralls said. “He remains willing and determined to pass UAFA as a standalone bill if necessary. That gives us a legislative leg up right out of the starting gate.”
But if it fails, what are the options for couples like Cross and his partner? They’re few, they say. Moving to Canada is not practical because the antitrust law Cross specializes in is not viable to practice there. Cross says he was lucky he spoke German and that his England-based international law firm was able to transfer him there, but he took a large pay cut to do it.
His partner becomes indignant at the mere suggestion of moving to Canada.
“This question is not really appropriate,” he says. “Who the heck is going to tell me where I should live? … I am entitled to decide where I should like to live because I’m your partner. We want to live here. Nobody’s going to tell me what I’m supposed to do with my life. I’m not a random person who’s just coming and pushing to want to settle in the D.C. area. We have our life here.”
And though the immigration problem is by far the couple’s biggest challenge, Cross says it’s compounded by other factors that flair up occasionally. They have cultural, interracial and homophobic issues that pop up, mostly externally. Cross encountered it often when he was trying to arrange a job for his partner.
“There’s a different sort of worth people ascribe to a heterosexual relationship that they don’t ascribe to homosexual ones,” Cross says. “There’s a presumption that if you’ve found a woman and are in love with a woman, then that must be love and there must be something there and you know, that’s your family. People attribute that and assume it’s real. But I think with gay couples there’s a mentality that yeah, you could find someone else or why go to the effort for this, there’s plenty of other people you could find. But it’s not true. When you love somebody, you love somebody.”
Cross says the challenges sometimes overwhelm his friends and colleagues.
“I think it’s just a combination of the whole thing,” he says. “Black, interracial, bi-national, gay — sometimes it’s just too much and people don’t know how to deal with it.”
District of Columbia
Doc on Blade reporter Chibbaro scores Emmy nomination
‘Lou’s Legacy’ chronicles 50-year career
“Lou’s Legacy: A Reporter’s Life at the Washington Blade” has been nominated for a Capital Emmy in the “Documentary – Historical” category by the National Capital Chesapeake Bay Chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.
“Our members include all of the video content producers who serve our local audiences in Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia—from the Atlantic to the Appalachians, from Bristol to Baltimore,” said Capitol Emmys President Adam Longo in a press release.
Broadcast last June by WETA PBS in Washington, D.C. and MPT in Maryland, the documentary was directed and produced by Emmy-nominated filmmaker Patrick Sammon in association with the Mattachine Society of Washington, D.C. Additional nominees who worked on the film include producer Julianne Donofrio and editor Amir Jaffer.
“Lou’s Legacy” tells the story of two D.C. icons — legendary Washington Blade reporter Lou Chibbaro Jr. and beloved drag performer Donnell Robinson, known to generations of Washington audiences as “Ella Fitzgerald.” Through Chibbaro’s nearly five-decade career at the Blade and Ella’s return to the stage after a three-year hiatus following COVID, the 29-minute documentary explores the history of Washington’s LGBTQ community and today’s rising backlash against LGBTQ rights, including laws targeting drag performers.
“We’re honored that Lou’s Legacy has been recognized alongside such an impressive group of historical documentaries,” said Sammon. “This nomination is especially meaningful because the film preserves and celebrates the stories of people who helped shape queer history in Washington, DC — often without recognition from mainstream institutions. We’re deeply grateful to the Mattachine Society, Lou Chibbaro Jr., Donnell Robinson, WETA PBS, and everyone who helped bring this project to life.”
“Lou’s Legacy” premiered on WETA PBS in June 2025 during Pride month. The documentary also broadcast on Maryland Public Television and is streaming nationally on PBS.org. WETA will rebroadcast “Lou’s Legacy” several times during Pride month, including June 15 th at 9 p.m. Winners of the Capital Emmy Awards will be announced at the Capital Emmy Gala on June 20 at the Bethesda Marriott Hotel.
Rehoboth Beach
Don’t let Rehoboth rain deter you, there’s lots to do for Memorial Day
Local businesses ready to host thousands this weekend
Although the weather is not expected to produce a picturesque Memorial Day Weekend at the Nation’s Summer Capital, plenty of exciting LGBTQ-friendly events, gatherings, and celebrations remain planned in Rehoboth Beach, Del., come rain or shine.
Thursday (5/21)
Begin this Memorial Day Weekend early on Thursday at The Pines Coastal Tavern, an LGBTQ+ friendly bar and grill that offers a happy hour from 4-6 p.m and a comfort food weekly special on Thursdays.
Next, you have a few options to spend your night enjoying live music, drag performances, and karaoke across Rehoboth.
The Purple Parrot Grill, Rehoboth’s only biergarten, will host its weekly Thursday Karaoke night starting at 9 p.m. With no cover fee, the Purple Parrot offers a queer-friendly space to have a drink or two and sing your heart out with friends.
Aqua, an LGBTQ bar in Rehoboth, is featuring six different DJs from Thursday to Monday. This Thursday will feature DJ KG, who will be spinning from 8 p.m. to midnight. Additionally, Thursdays are Burger Nights with $12 burgers and $3 domestic beers.
Naughtee Bingo will be hosted by Magnolia Applebottom at Diego’s Bar & Nightclub starting at 8:30 pm on Thursday.
Friday (5/22)
Get your Friday night started with a live piano show with Grant Uhle from 7-10 p.m. at The Pines.
Freddie’s Beach Bar, another LGBTQ-friendly bar in Rehoboth, will feature “Freddie’s Follie’s Drag Show” at 9 p.m. with DJ Nan keeping the party going at 11 p.m.
Aqua’s “Beats Party Night” with DJ Matt Bailer will also be going on from 9 p.m.-1 a.m.
Saturday (5/23)
The party is starting early at Diego’s on Saturday with a Splash Party hosted by Magnolia Applebottom at 5 p.m.
The Pines is also offering a live Piano show & sing-a-long with Etienne Pilon from 6-8 p.m. and DJ Fixed Rate spinning from 8-11 p.m.
DJ Chord will play from 9 p.m.-1 a.m. at Aqua on Saturday night.
Sunday (5/24)
On Sunday, Aqua is hosting an “Aquaman” swimsuit modeling contest at 3 p.m. with the “king” chosen by the crowd. The event is sponsored by JimmyTrendy and prizes include a JimmyTrendy swimsuit set and an Aqua Grill gift card. JimmyTrendy will also offer a pop-up shop to purchase swimwear.
DJ Biff will play beats at the “Aquaman” contest until 6 p.m. and DJ Malachi Gomez will spin from 9 p.m.-1 a.m.
Diego’s is putting on its weekly Party Pams T-Dance starring singer Pamala Stanley at 5 p.m. It’s Pamala’s 21st season in Rehoboth Beach and her show is a must-see event.
At Freddie’s Beach Bar, DJ Shady Lady will play from 5-6 p.m. with a Memorial Day Sunday Drag Show taking place from 9-11 p.m. and karaoke directly after.
Monday (5/25)
Come together on Memorial Day to remember and honor the fallen women service members, first responders, and canine war heroes with the Laying of the Wreath. This ceremony will take place at 8:45 a.m. at the Veterans Memorial at the end of Rehoboth Avenue at the Band Stand Area. This event is put together by the Gay Women of Rehoboth.
Sussex Pride invites you to a Memorial Day Cookout Honoring LGBTQ+ Veterans and Servicemembers from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at Gordons Pond Pavilion in Cape Henlopen.
End your MDW with Monday night singing your heart out with late night karaoke at Freddie’s Beach Bar at 8 p.m. and Piano Pam at Diego’s at 5 p.m. with Pamala Stanley playing everything from Broadway hits to current dance music.
District of Columbia
D.C. Black Pride set for Memorial Day Weekend
Dozens of events to reflect theme of ‘New Black Renaissance’
D.C.’s annual LGBTQ Black Pride celebration is scheduled to take place May 22-25 as it has since its founding 35 years ago on Memorial Day Weekend with several dozen events in locations across the city.
Like recent years, most of the official events are scheduled to take place at the Westin D.C. Downtown Hotel, including the Opening Reception on Friday, May 22, when Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter Durand Bernarr was scheduled to be among the performers.
“This high-energy reception brings together community leaders, creatives, tastemakers, and visitors from across the globe for a night rooted in connection, joy, and celebration,” according to a statement on the Black Pride website.
Also, like past years, the second day of official Black Pride events set for Saturday, May 23, will include a dozen workshop sessions on a wide range of issues and topics. The workshop sessions will take place at the Westin Hotel.
On that same day, Black Trans Pride is scheduled to take place at the hotel from 1- 6 p.m., according to the official schedule of events.
“The goal is and always has been to make sure we have events for everybody, regardless of their financial situation, regardless of their agenda,” said Kenya Hutton, president and CEO of the Center For Black Equity, the D.C. LGBTQ group that organizes D.C. Black Pride.
Hutton said this year for the first time there will be a D.C. Black Pride Fun Run. The Black Pride website says the 5k run will take place Saturday, May 23, from 8 a.m.-12 p.m. starting at the Frederick Douglass Bride near the D.C. Navy Yard.
He said another first will be a film screening of the documentary film “Not Your Average Girl,” about the life of trans woman, author, and advocate Hope Giselle, scheduled for May 22 at the nearby Eaton Hotel.
Also, like in past years, this year’s Black Pride will feature a Rainbow Row organization and vendor expo at the Westin from 5-9 p.m. Friday and 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. on Saturday that includes information tables set up by organizations and vendors.
The annual Pride In The Park event will take place Monday, May 25, from 12-7 p.m. at Fort Dupont Park located at 3600 F St., S.E. And the seventh annual “Brunch & Babes” drag event was scheduled for Sunday, May 24, at Hook Hall nightclub at 3400 Georgia Ave., N.W.
Among the other events taking place at other locations is a Sunday, May 24 “G-Spot Day Party” organized by local gay activist Geno Dunnington to be held at Bravo Bravo nightclub at 1001 Connecticut Ave., N.W. from 3-9 p.m. Dunnington told the Washington Blade the event will include the playing of house music, which he says played a role in local D.C. Black LGBTQ culture and in the first Black Pride celebration in 1991. The Black Pride website includes a write up of how that came about.
“From 1976 until1990, the ClubHouse in Washington, D.C. was a remarkable nightclub founded by Black members of D.C.’s LGBTQ community, widely known for its signature event – the Children’s Hour,” the write-up says. “This event was a true celebration and took place annually during Memorial Day weekend,” it says.
“When the ClubHouse closed in 1990, many feared the Memorial Day tradition would be lost,” the write-up continues. “However, three men – Welmore Cook, Theodore Kirkland, and Ernest Hopkins – envisioned creating an event that would continue the tradition of the Children’s Hour while also bringing awareness to the growing HIV/AIDS epidemic in their community.”
The write-up adds, “Their vision and hard work gave life to the first Black Gay and Lesbian Pride event on May 25, 1991, on the grounds of Banneker Field,” which is located near Howard University. “This first event drew 800 people, who were centered around the theme of ‘Let’s All Come Together.’”
It says organizers expanded the scope of the Black Pride events over the next several years as it evolved and prompted Black Pride events in other cities and the formation of the International Federation of Black Prides, which later became the Center for Black Equity.
“D.C. Black Pride was the catalyst for what is now regarded as the Black Pride Movement,” the writeup says. “Since its birth, more than 50 other Black Pride celebrations now take place throughout the world, many using D.C. Black Pride as its model.”
It adds, “Today, more than 500,000 members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community of African descent and their allies come to Washington, D.C. on Memorial Day weekend to celebrate the beauty of a shared community and raise awareness and funding for HIV/AIDS in the name and spirit of Black Pride.”
Hutton said D.C. Black Pride has grown to a point where organizers cannot keep track of all the unofficial events taking place.
“There are a number of events that are not even on our website,” he said. “They’re parties. People are having cookouts. There are all kinds of things that are happening over the weekend, that are official listed events, partner events, and non-partner events.”
Hutton said that while D.C. Black Pride’s support from corporate and business sponsors has remained stable, Black Pride organizations in other cities have been hit hard by the growing reluctance by businesses to sponsor LGBTQ related events and LGBTQ organizations brought about by the Trump administration’s opposition to so-called diversity, equity and inclusion or “DEI” programs.
He said several Black Pride groups have had to curtail their annual celebrations’ scope, with some facing the prospect of cancelling their celebrations due to a sharp decrease in funds from business donors. D.C. Black Pride has also faced the impact of anti-DEI pressure from the Trump administration, according to Hutton, from businesses that have asked not to be publicly identified as sponsors.
“The administration has put pressure on some of our traditional sponsors, and we have some sponsors this year who have told us don’t put our ad, don’t put our logo, don’t put anything out” to publicly identify them as sponsors, Hutton said. “They still want to support us but can’t announce they are financially supporting us in any kind of way,” he said.
As she has in recent past years, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser this year issued an official mayoral proclamation declaring May 22-25, 2026 as “DC BLACK PRIDE WEEKEND.”
A list of the official 2026 D.C. Black Pride and partner events and their locations can be accessed at dcblackpride.org.
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