In a rare move in this conservative nation, Shinjiro Atae, a J-Pop idol, announced on social media and during an in-person event Wednesday, standing in front of a few thousand fans onstage in a darkish auditorium in central Tokyo, that he was gay.

In a statement posted to his Instagram, the 34-year-old wrote:

“To all my fans, today was a very special day for me. For years, I struggled to accept a part of myself … But now, after all I have been through, I finally have the courage to open up to you about something. I am a gay man.

It has taken me a long time to be able to say I am gay. I could not even say it to myself. However, I’ve come to realize it is better, both for me, and for the people I care about, including my fans, to live life authentically than to live a life never accepting who I truly am. I hope people who are struggling with the same feeling will find courage and know they are not alone.

I held this event today because I wanted to tell as many of you as possible directly. For those unable to attend I will be posting my full speech on my website tomorrow so you can hear the news in my own words. The link is in my bio (English subtitles available).

When I think of my work in the entertainment industry and the many things for which I am grateful, it is my relationship with my fans that first comes to mind. I thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for standing beside me over the years. I’d also like to thank my family, friends, staff members and my fellow AAA members for providing me their full support throughout this process.”

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Speaking to his fans in Tokyo, Atae, known simply as Shinjiro said: “I respect you and consider you deserve to listen to this straight from me,” he mentioned, studying from a letter he had ready. “For years, I struggled to just accept part of myself. However now, in any case I’ve been via, I lastly have the braveness to divulge heart’s contents to you about one thing. I’m a homosexual [gay] man.”

“It has taken me a long time to be able to say I am gay. I could not even say it to myself,” he added.

Telling the fans his story, Shinjiro related that his decision to come out was based on the seven years he spent living and working in Los Angeles, he noticed how freely gay couples expressed affection in public and had such a intensively supportive community.

“Everybody was so open,” Shinjiro said. “Individuals would speak about their vulnerabilities. In Japan, folks assume it’s finest to not speak about these issues.”

There were drawbacks though he noted to living in Los Angeles. When he visited places common with the LGBTQ community in neighborhoods such as West Hollywood, and he bumped into Japanese vacationers and expats, there was the fear somebody may leak a photograph of him at a gay club or out with another guy on a date to the press back in Japan or on Japanese social media.

Shinjiro first entered the highly competitive J-Pop scene 18 years ago at age 14 as a dancer in 2005. Starting with J-Pop powerhouse AAA as a dancer he built his career as a performer singing in Japanese and then later in English. AAA quickly built a large and fiercely loyal group of followers, recording eight number one hits on Billboard Japan’s Prime 100 chart.

In 2016, as the members of AAA launched into solo acts, Shinjiro moved to Los Angeles and studied English, among his other music business pursuits.

Building on his Los Angeles experiences, Shinjiro realized that his need to be himself and accepting of his sexual orientation was not political. All he needed was to “normalize” being a gay man. The first person though he noted that he needed to tell was his 66-year-old mother.

“I used to be tremendous stunned, and I had by no means imagined it,” she said to a reporter. Asking that her last name not be revealed fearing harassment as there is not wide-spread acceptance of LGBTQ people in Japan; she also noted that while she supported her son personally, she was opposed initially when he mentioned he needed to go public. She was anxious about the on-line attacks, bullying or even the resulting discrimination. 

However she added; “I’m 200 percent supportive.”

His AAA bandmates were shocked yet showed up on Wednesday to cheer him on. Misako Uno, 37, a AAA member, in a backstage interview told reporters; “I need to be a great cushion” for him.

As the event drew to a close Shinjiro ended debuting his new single and video, “Into the Light.” The English-language song is in apparent reference to his decision to come out.