Local
Here come the grooms
With the city’s historic same-sex marriage law expected to take effect in less than three weeks, the application form for a marriage license at the D.C. Superior Court still leaves space only for the names of bride and groom.
But a spokesperson for D.C. Council member David Catania (I-At Large), author of the Religious Freedom & Civil Marriage Equality Amendment Act, said the marriage license application form is among a few last-minute details that the city and the court are expected to address in the next two weeks.
The law that Catania wrote and the City Council approved allows partners to describe themselves on a marriage license as a bride, groom or spouse.
Ben Young, Catania’s chief of staff, told DC Agenda this week that the form change was “being worked on.”
“Should the D.C. bill become law, the court will be ready on the effective date with forms for applicants to use that refer to spouses, not brides and grooms,” said Superior Court spokesperson Leah Gurowitz.
For same-sex couples planning to wed in the District after the new law takes effect March 3, a civil wedding at the courthouse or a religious wedding from an LGBT-friendly place of worship will be available to them.
Under city law, all couples seeking to be married must apply for and receive a marriage license, which costs $35. The application for the license can be obtained online at dccourts.gov, but it must be submitted and paid for in person.
Also under D.C. law, the minimum age for obtaining a marriage license without the need for parental consent is 18. A marriage license for people between the ages of 16 and 17 can be obtained only with the consent of a parent or legal guardian, and no one under age 16 can marry.
“When applying for a marriage license, you may request a civil wedding, specifying the date and time you would like to be married, at least 10 days from the date of application,” according to the Marriage Bureau Section of the court’s web site.
The site says a court clerk will contact the applicants to confirm the date and make final arrangements for a civil ceremony, which is performed by a court official in a designated room at the courthouse. The courthouse is located at 500 Indiana Ave., N.W.
According to the court’s web site, the “marriage ceremony room” holds about one dozen guests. A certified copy of the marriage license can be obtained on the day of the ceremony for $10. There is no fee for the ceremony or use of the room, but wedding participants are asked to consider making a tax-deductable donation to the D.C. Superior Court Art Trust Fund.
Unlike some jurisdictions, judges in D.C. don’t routinely perform civil marriages, although some judges do so for couples with whom they are personal friends, according to a court source who spoke on condition of not being identified. D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty is not authorized to perform civil marriages under city law.
“The Clerk of the Court, and those he deputizes, may perform marriages at the courthouse, as well as judges,” Gurowitz said. “Generally, judges do not perform courthouse weddings, as they are on the bench with their calendars to handle during weekday work hours.”
Gurowitz declined to say whether court personnel authorized to perform civil marriages would be allowed to decline to perform a same-sex marriage if they have religious or moral objections to such marraiges, as is the case in some states.
“We do not comment on personnel and staffing matters,” she said.
Several D.C. clergy members said this week that despite the vocal opposition to same-sex marriage from some local clergy, a large number of clergy and their places of worship stand ready and willing to perform gay weddings.
The new law allows clergy to refuse to perform same-sex marriages and refuse to allow their facilities to be used for such marriages if performing such marriages is contrary to their religious beliefs.
“We’re prepared to begin marrying same-sex couples as soon as the law goes into place,” said Rev. Robert Harties, pastor of All Souls Unitarian Church. “I’ve already been in conversation with members of my congregation who are interested in becoming married and who are making plans for their wedding dates.”
Harties serves as co-chair of D.C. Clergy United for Marriage Equality, which he said has close to 200 members. He noted that most members of the group, along with their respective churches or other places of worship, including synagogues, are planning to host same-sex wedding ceremonies.
Also looking forward to performing same-sex weddings are at least five LGBT-oriented churches or congregations in the city that have long performed same-sex commitment ceremonies. Among them are Metropolitan Community Church of D.C., Unity Fellowship and Inner Light Ministries, which provide Protestant services; Bet Mishpachah, widely known as the city’s LGBT syngogue; and Dignity Washington, which offers a weekly Mass for LGBT Catholics.
Rev. Dwayne Johnson, pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church since January, said MCC churches across the country have performed what some of its members consider to be weddings since the church was founded in 1969.
“In a sense it was a form of political resistance on some level,” he said. “What was not accepted in the eyes of the state we felt was accepted in the eyes of God. So we will continue to bless relationships, and now to be able to do it legally is really exciting.”
Rev. Abena McCray, pastor of Unity Fellowship, which has a largely African-American protestant congregation, said the church is preparing to offer same-sex weddings when the D.C. gay marriage law takes effect.
Jack Hillelsohn, Bet Mispachah’s vice president for religious affairs, said the congregation’s rabbi, Toby Manewith, is a member of D.C. Clergy United for Marriage Equality and is excited about performing same-sex marriages.
“Kiddushin is the Hebrew word for marriage, and we have performed these in the past without legal standing,” Hillesohn said. “There’s always been the need for this ceremony, and now we’re pleased to be able to do it with full legal standing.”
Ray Panas, president of Dignity Washington, said the LGBT Catholic group recognizes that plans to arrange for Catholic same-sex marriage ceremonies in D.C. will face difficulties given the Catholic Church’s strong opposition to same-sex marriage. The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington is expected to prohibit diocesan priests from performing same-sex marriages.
But Panas said priests associated with Catholic orders or societies independent of the archdiocese have often celebrated the Catholic Mass for Dignity members. He noted that the group is hopeful some arrangements can be made for a priest to perform same-sex marriages for its members.
Under D.C. law, clergy who are licensed and credentialed under their respective religious faiths must also obtain a city license to perform a marriage. Johnson and McCray aren’t currently licensed to perform marriages, but the two said they are taking immediate steps to obtain a license, which is also issued at the D.C. Superior Court.
Harties and officials with the four LGBT-oriented congregations said their respective congregations have long offered various forms of relationship counseling for couples contemplating marriage or domestic partnerships. They said they would continue this practice with same-sex couples seeking to marry.
However, gay rights attorneys have advised same-sex couples considering marriage to be aware of local divorce laws in the event that a relationship ends and a separation is sought.
One aspect of the D.C. divorce laws that could be a factor for same-sex couples who come to the District from other states to marry is a six-month residency requirement. Either spouse must be a city resident for at least six months before the couple is eligible to file for divorce.
Other aspects of the city’s divorce laws, including options of both no-fault and fault filings and property distribution and child custody and support provisions, can be reviewed in the divorce section of the Superior Court’s web site.
District of Columbia
Many LGBTQ residents escaping D.C. for inauguration weekend
Some fear queer spaces could be targeted by MAGA crowd
Donald Trump will be sworn in on the steps of the U.S. Capitol as the 47th president on Monday, becoming the second person in history to ever return to the Oval Office after losing an election. As fencing and roadblocks begin to pop up in preparation for a weekend of Trump supporters gallivanting on the National Mall and across the capital, many LGBTQ people in Washington have made plans to leave the District.
Nick Gomez, a 27-year-old music director for iHeartRadio and host of PRIDE Radio told the Washington Blade he will leave the city for northern Maryland with a group of kickball team members. Gomez explained that this weekend being both a federal holiday (Martin Luther King Jr. Day) and a weekend when he didn’t want to remain in Washington, it made sense to join some friends on a trip.
“I thought that it was a small group, but it’s actually a very large group of us looking at the group chat now,” Gomez said. “We’re getting a little cabin out in northern Maryland.” He said 27 members of his LGBTQ Stonewall Kickball team are planning to ride out the inauguration away from Trump supporters and MAGA hats.
“Normally a little kickball team cabin weekend happens every year, but we did coordinate it to happen on inauguration weekend this year — decidedly after Nov. 5 is when we booked the Airbnb,” he said.
Gomez’s choice to leave Washington was not a snap judgment though. For a while he contemplated what to do and if he should leave the city at all.
“I’ve thought about this a lot, actually,” he said. “I was thinking, ‘What is it going to be like to live in this city while the administration is active outside of just inauguration weekend?’ There was a part of me that’s like, ‘I don’t need to be caught up in all that. I know that that’s probably not going to be good for me. And it very well could turn into a fucking hellscape out here.’ But there was another part of me that’s like, ‘Well, why am I going to leave? Because this is my city. I’m the one who lives here!’ And that kind of went into thinking about the inauguration weekend.”
Gomez understood this would not be like any previous inauguration, given the inflammatory president-elect and his largely anti-LGBTQ followers.
“The difference about inauguration weekend is that this inauguration is happening on the 20th, but there’s also that rally happening on the 19th,” he said. “Anything that we can get caught up in on the 19th is just simply not going to be beneficial for queer people in the city, or the city itself.”
The twice-impeached president-elect is planning to hold a “victory rally” for 20,000 supporters the day before he is sworn in. This will mark the first time Trump will speak to a crowd in Washington since Jan. 6, 2021, when groups of his supporters stormed the Capitol in hopes of overturning the fair election of Joe Biden. Trump’s fans, and their inclination to venture toward violent behavior, Gomez explains, is a large reason for why he chose to leave Washington for the weekend.
“There are going to be so many people from out of town here, people from around the country here whose only objective is to support this man. We know what that looks like when people support this man in a physical sense. If they’re going to do that for two days, I don’t need to be here for that. I also don’t need to validate their presence by welcoming them to my city.”
He understands that some LGBTQ community members may feel that is the exact reason to stay in Washington.
“Maybe there are some differing opinions on that,” Gomez added. “Maybe people think, ‘You know what, I’m going to sit here and stand my ground’ and like, ‘This is my city no matter what.’ I just think that there is a smarter way to stand my ground in my city than subjecting myself to whatever chaos is going to be here on those two days.”
“It’s more of a refusal to leave on my part,” said Luke Stowell, 22, the queer assistant director of music at the Chevy Chase Presbyterian Church who is hunkering down in the District this weekend. “I live here. I pay rent here. I’m not going anywhere, just because 650,000 Republicans are coming. This is my home.”
Stowell explained that he is on the side of staying in Washington for the inauguration, if nothing else to be a voice of resistance against the Trump regime.
“I almost wish that there wasn’t such a desire for exodus,” they added. “I wish that there were a little bit more of a ‘Hey, like, No, we’re actually going to stand our ground.’ I appreciate the defiance, but I see it more as a defense of this territory. It’s obviously, as we know, a hugely liberal territory.”
Stowell has debated shifting his daily routine ahead of Sunday’s MAGA rally to avoid the Gallery-Place/Capital One Arena area.
“They’re saying that there’s a big rally before the inauguration down at Capital One Arena, and that’s actually where my Planet Fitness is,” they said. “I’m very interested to see if I try to go to the gym on Sunday, will it even be open? Will it be overrun with MAGgots? Otherwise on Monday, I have choir. I have things to do on Monday. My life doesn’t really stop just because the inauguration is happening. Some people don’t even have time off for the MLK Day holiday. It seems so crazy that those are on the same day, but yeah, I’ll be around.”
Sam Parker, a 30-year-old managing strategist at a political consulting firm, chose to use this weekend to escape from the city and to get closer to his partner after experiencing the first Trump inauguration from a very close distance.
“My boyfriend and I are going to Philly for the weekend, all the way until Tuesday to avoid the inauguration, and to get out for the three-day weekend,” Parker said. “It’s definitely largely predicated on the fact that I lived in Foggy Bottom the last time he was inaugurated.”
Parker has since moved away from any of the neighborhoods that will be fully locked down during the inauguration but would rather just avoid any repeated feeling of being locked down as he was eight years ago.
“It was entirely in the shutdown zone — there were armored cars on the street. It was inescapable. My current neighborhood is probably a little less… omnipresent. … But I’ve kind of gotten over the idea that there’s some kind of ‘noble aim’ being witness to all this stuff, and that it’s kind of better for my mental health to just get out of town. Also, politics aside, it feels like the town gets kind of locked down for an inauguration. It is kind of nice to use some Amtrak points and go somewhere else. Have a less stressful weekend.”
Justin Westley, a 28-year-old fundraising professional for an environmental NGO, is also using this weekend as an opportunity to grow closer to their boyfriend, Matt. Matt, who works for the federal government, requested anonymity due to concerns about potential repercussions for speaking out against the incoming administration, but wholeheartedly agreed about wanting to leave the city ahead of Trump’s arrival.
“We’re going to Boston this weekend,” Westley said. “We’re visiting Matt’s sister, who lives up there. We’re going to stay and visit for a while, and this just seemed like a good opportunity. It’s very practical, because we were wanting to see Matt’s sister anyway. … I know most of our friends are either doing cabin trips or small weekend getaways anyway. We probably would have left regardless. I do think going to Massachusetts, a very blue state, and Boston, a very blue city, will be nice to not have to worry at all about interacting with those people [Trump supporters] on the day-to-day.”
“Yeah,” Matt agreed. “Visiting a city that has voted primarily blue the past several elections offers a political comfort. But also, there’s a fun aspect of exploring a new city. Justin’s never been there. And then there’s comfort there — visiting a family member. That’s also just kind of like a safety net.”
Matt added that he has already seen law enforcement begin taking precautions in the District ahead of Monday’s events, solidifying the choice to leave ahead of whatever the weekend holds.
“I actually live pretty close to the White House, in the general Logan Circle area, and they’ve been testing drones,” Matt said. “I remember seeing the news articles that they’re going to be testing them throughout the week, leading up to the inauguration. I haven’t been down near the actual mall, but the traffic patterns have already changed, just walking around the neighborhood. And the transportation agency has released what streets are going to be closed and navigating the area around my apartment is just going to be a nightmare.”
This caused Westley to reflect on where he, and the city, was four years ago.
“I’ve just been thinking back to Jan. 6 — the disrespect, the terrorism, the white supremacy, but also just the disrespect toward the people who live here,” Westley said. “Four years later, after all of that, these people are going to be coming back under the presumption of ‘Welcome to the city!’ For the first Trump administration, I lived in Nashville and in Pittsburgh. Those are both red and like purple states, respectively. The cities themselves truly did feel like… not being in a bubble, but like, a true insulated community where I wasn’t on edge about seeing Trump supporters — like MAGAs in the streets necessarily…There is just going to be a lot more Trump supporters [in Washington], and that just makes me feel a lot less secure.”
Despite feeling less secure this time around, Westley echoed Parker’s earlier sentiment on the importance of prioritizing his mental health while navigating this weekend, and the next four years.
“While I can’t control being around staffers in the streets for the next four years, I can control when I’m around the sort of enthusiastic supporter that would be coming to the inauguration,” Westley said. “Removing myself from the situation felt like the healthiest thing for me, especially thinking about the next four years and for the energy that I’ll have to devote to protecting the people I love, the people close to me, as well as the community more broadly. I want to make sure that I’m starting that from a place of safety and resilience and not fear.”
Stephen Hayes, 37, a non-profit fundraising professional, will use the long holiday weekend to celebrate his wedding anniversary and avoid unnecessary political conflict with people who may not support him and his husband.
“I had already planned on going out of town this weekend,” Hayes told the Blade. “It’s my husband and my 11th wedding anniversary. We got married in New York and we return every year for our anniversary. Our anniversary happens to fall in the middle of the week, so we’re going the weekend prior.”
Hayes initially was more hopeful the country would go in a different direction than a second Trump presidency and kept that in mind when originally planning his anniversary weekend.
“I had originally planned to return in time for the inauguration, because I was hopefully optimistic that things would go the other way. But once we learned that they didn’t go the way that I’d like, I changed my plans to extend my stay in New York through the inauguration and return the following day, hopefully avoiding most of the people who will be here in town for the event.”
This trip, Hayes recalls, seems to be very similar to his holiday weekend during Trump’s first inauguration two terms ago.
“It’s kind of funny because eight years ago I was in New York during some of the first protests [against Trump] with the ‘pussy hat/pink hat’ protests that took place in New York,” he said. “I wasn’t planning to be there during the inauguration, and I wasn’t yet a D.C. resident, but now it will be interesting to be in New York City again for the inauguration.”
“It feels like there’s a lot of unknown right now,” Hayes added. “Personally, I kind of have my guard up. The people coming to town might not be as friendly as your average visitor so I would just be hyper vigilant. Be aware of what’s going on around you. I want to say that queer spaces are safe spaces, but they might be a targeted place. I don’t think that’s going to happen, but the pessimist in me says be prepared.”
“It is super easy to feel really helpless and we’re all allowed to feel helpless, but eventually something has to come of that helplessness,” Gomez added. “I have no doubt that the queer community in this city will do that, and something will come out of it. But I think if there’s anything that I would want to share just from my personal experience over the last however many weeks, it’s that helplessness is OK, and it will not last forever. There’s an entire city of people around you that are there to lean on.”
Trump’s inauguration happens Monday, Jan. 20 at noon on the Capitol steps. If you’re staying in town, Metro has released information regarding the change in transportation schedules ahead of the three-day weekend.
“Metro is prepared to move customers for Inauguration Day with additional train service and earlier hours,” WAMATA announced. “Per the request of the United States Secret Service and the United States Capitol Police, Metrorail will open at 4 a.m. on Monday, Jan. 20 to accommodate the crowds. Five stations will be closed, and trains will bypass these stations for security reasons from Sunday, Jan. 19 at 8 p.m. until 5 a.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 21: McPherson Square (Blue, Orange, Silver lines), Federal Triangle (Blue, Orange, Silver lines), Smithsonian (Blue, Orange, Silver lines), Mt. Vernon Sq.-Convention Center (Green, Yellow lines), Archives-Navy Memorial (Green, Yellow lines).”
For more information on public transportation in Washington ahead of the holiday weekend, visit inauguration.dc.gov/ or wmata.com/service/inauguration-2025.
District of Columbia
D.C. police demoted gay captain for taking parental leave: Lawsuit
Department accused of engaging in ‘effort to harass, retaliate’
A gay police captain on Dec. 31 filed a lawsuit in federal court accusing the D.C. Metropolitan Police Department of illegally demoting him and subjecting him to harassment and retaliation for taking parental leave to care for his newborn son.
The 16-page lawsuit filed by Capt. Paul Hrebenak charges that police officials violated the U.S. Family and Medical Leave Act, a similar D.C. family leave law, and the U.S. Constitution’s Equal Protection Clause by refusing to allow him to return to his position as director of the department’s School Safety Division upon his return from parental leave.
The lawsuit states that he received full permission to take parental leave from his supervisor. Hrebenak’s attorney, Scott Lempert, with the D.C.-based legal group Center for Employment Justice, said Hrebenak’s transfer to another police division against his wishes, which was a far less desirable job, was the equivalent of a demotion, even though it has the same pay grade as his earlier job.
D.C. police spokesperson Thomas Lynch said police will have no comment at this time on the lawsuit. He pointed to a longstanding D.C. police policy of not commenting on pending litigation.
Casey Simmons, a spokesperson for the Office of the D.C. Attorney General, which represents and defends D.C. government agencies against lawsuits, said the Attorney General’s Office also does not comment on ongoing litigation. “So, no comment from us at this time,” she told the Blade.
Hrebenak’s lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, states that “straight” police officers have routinely taken similar family and parental leave to care for newborn children and have not been subjected to the unfair and illegal treatment to which it claims Hrebenak was subjected.
The lawsuit states that Hrebenak has served with distinction as an officer and later as captain since he first joined the force in July 2007. It says after receiving “outstanding reviews and promotions” he was promoted to captain in November 2020 and assigned to the School Safety Division in September 2022.
According to the lawsuit, the School Safety Division assignment allowed him to work a day shift, a needed shift for his recognized disability of Crohn’s Disease, which the lawsuit says is exacerbated by working late hours at night.
The lawsuit points out that Hrebenak disclosed he had Crohn’s Disease at the time he applied for his police job, and it was determined he could carry out his duties as an officer despite this ailment, which was listed as a disability.
“When my husband and I decided to have a child, and I used my allotted D.C. Paid Family Leave and Federal Family Leave, I was punished and removed from a preferred and sought after position as Director of the School Safety Division,” Hrebenak told the Washington Blade in a statement.
“My hope is by filing this lawsuit I can hold MPD and the D.C. Government accountable,” he wrote. “I am the first gay male D.C. Police manager (Captain or Lieutenant) to take advantage of this benefit to welcome a child into the world,” he states, adding, “I want to take this action also so that fellow officers can enjoy their families without the fear of being unfairly treated.”
The lawsuit states that in addition to not being allowed to return to his job as director of the School Safety Division upon his return from leave, “he was also required to work the undesirable midnight shift, as a Watch Commander, requiring him to work from 8:00 p.m. to 4:30 a.m.”
Watch Commander positions are typically given to lieutenants or newly promoted captains, the lawsuit says, and not to more senior captains like Hrebenak.
“Plaintiff’s removal as Director of MPD’s School Safety Division was a targeted, premeditated punishment for taking statutorily protected leave as a gay man,” the lawsuit concludes. “There was no operational need by MPD to remove Plaintiff as Director of MPD’s School Safety Division, a position in which plaintiff very successfully served for years.”
The lawsuit identifies the police official who refused to allow Hrebenak to resume his job as director of the School Safety Division and reassigned him to the less desirable position on the midnight shift as Deputy Chief Andre Wright.
The Blade couldn’t immediately determine whether D.C. Police Chief Pamela Smith, who has expressed strong support for the LGBTQ community and for LGBTQ people working on the police force, would have supported Wright’s actions toward Hrebenak.
The lawsuit adds that Hrebenak’s transfer out of his earlier job to the night shift position “was humiliating and viewed as punishment and a demotion by Plaintiff and his co-workers.”
The lawsuit, which requests a trial by jury, says, “Defendant’s actions were willful and in bad faith, causing Plaintiff to suffer lost wages and benefits, and severe physical, mental, and emotional anguish.”
It calls for his reinstatement as director of the Division of School Safety or assignment to a similar position and $4.3 million in compensatory and punitive damages, including interest, attorney’s fees, and court related costs.
Lempert, Hrebenak’s attorney, said it was too soon to determine whether U.S. District Court Judge Randolph D. Moss, who is presiding over the case, will require the two parties to enter negotiations to reach an out-of-court settlement.
In past cases in which LGBTQ people have filed lawsuits against D.C. government agencies on grounds of discrimination or improper treatment, local LGBTQ activists have called on the D.C. government to reach a fair and reasonable settlement to address the concerns raised by those filing the lawsuits.
Richard Rosendall, former president of the D.C. Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance, said he believes the city is “in the wrong” on this case and should agree to a settlement if the judge calls for settlement negotiations.
“If anyone should be demoted, it is whoever decided to punish Captain Hrebenak for exercising his parental rights,” Rosendall told the Blade. “Equal protection means nothing if it is subject to arbitrary suspension at a supervisor’s whim,” he said.
“Additionally, the rule of law is undermined when those sworn to enforce it act as if they are a law unto themselves,” Rosendall said.
Virginia
Va. House approves resolution to repeal marriage amendment
Two successive legislatures must approve proposal before it goes to voters
The Virginia House of Representatives on Tuesday approved a resolution that seeks to repeal a state constitutional amendment that defines marriage as between a man and a woman.
The resolution that state Del. Mark Sickles (D-Fairfax County) introduced by a 58-35 vote margin. State Sen. Adam Ebbin (D-Alexandria) has proposed an identical measure in the Virginia Senate.
Ebbin and Sickles are both gay.
Voters approved the Marshall-Newman Amendment in 2006.
Same-sex couples have been able to legally marry in Virginia since 2014. Republican Gov. Glenn Youngkin last year signed a bill that codified marriage equality in state law.
The General Assembly in 2021 approved a resolution that seeks to repeal the Marshall-Newman Amendment. It must pass in two successive legislatures before it can go to the ballot.
The Senate Privileges and Elections Committee on Tuesday advanced Ebbin’s resolution by a 10-4 vote margin. The House on Tuesday also approved resolutions that would enshrine reproductive rights and restore formerly incarcerated people’s right to vote in the state constitution.
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