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Queery: Bishop Rainey Cheeks

The Inner Light leader answers 20 gay questions

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Bishop Rainey Cheeks (Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Bishop Kwabena Rainey Cheeks, 58, is the pastor of Washington’s Inner Light Ministries. The long-time HIV activist says the disease  — which will be commemorated Wednesday for World AIDS Day — is still a major issue and young people should take it seriously.

“The term that gets me is ‘manageable disease,'” he says. “When you see people taking 10 or 15 pills a day, when you see people who cannot get up out of bed still happening today, you don’t see the effects today as it was back then. In the early days, you could tell when someone was positive. You could see they were sick, they lost weight. You don’t see that much today but people are still dying today. I’m still in hospitals with people today. I hear people say, ‘Oh, but it doesn’t affect me.’ I’m going, ‘Ahhh.” It is a big deal. Even today you have people who are drug resistant.”

Cheeks, who’s openly gay and HIV-positive, preaches a doctrine of what he calls “radical inclusiveness,” which he says affirms “God’s unconditional acceptance and universal law of love.”

The Washington native grew up Catholic in an abusive home but eventually found respite in martial arts. In 2002 he founded the non-denominational “Inner Light,” a Christian church that he says welcomes anyone. He previously managed the Club House, a formerly popular black nightlife spot that closed in 1990. His own battle with HIV and the staggering toll it took on his friends — he often mentions the 17 funerals he conducted in November 1988 — inspired him to found Us Helping Us, a local HIV charity.

Cheeks has one son, Kwaku or “Q.” He enjoys African drumming and is a licensed massage therapist. He likes relaxing with close friends and a good glass of wine. Cheeks is single and lives in Columbia Heights. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I was never in. The hardest person to tell my mother. After that I did not care.

Who’s your gay hero?

I can’t say I have a hero but I will say I have a lot of respect for many people on the frontline. I will name Billy S. Jones as one — and every LGBT person who dares to live in the truth of who they are.

What is Washington’s best nightspot, past or present?

The Club House — great friends, great music and one of the best sound systems ever. You had to be there.

Describe your dream gay wedding.

It keeps changing but it will be a small intimate setting with a couple hundred of my friends.

What non-gay issue are you most passionate about?

Freedom and rights for all regardless of race or gender.

What historical outcome would you change?

None because it would change where we are today. Learn from the past and move forward.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Disco clubs. That era was so much fun.

On what do you insist?

Honesty first always in all ways. With that everything else has a foundation to work from.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

Whatever you truly believe about yourself you will find a way to prove it.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“Thank God I Had a Ball and I Would Do it Again!”

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Turn the page and move on. There is nothing for me to change. I love me just as I am.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

Some may use the term God or Divine Presence. There is something greater than this and one day everyone will have to face all that they have done or said.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Remember it is not about you. Make sure that you remember those who were before you. Reach back and help the next generation of young leaders behind you without being too critical. And take time to enjoy the journey.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

My son and some good chocolate. But please don’t tell my trainer about the chocolate!

What gay stereotype annoys you most?

That all gay folks want is to do is party and have sex. We are so much more than that but even some of us have bought into that image.

What’s your favorite gay movie?

I have two: “Victor/Victoria” and “Holiday Heart.” Both of them will make you laugh one minute and cry the next.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

“Texting.” I know it’s good for a short message like “on the way” or “be there in a min.” But after that I think I deserve a personal call. I know, I know.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I was a silver medalist in the first world championship in Tae Kwon Do.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

I think how to handle money like investments. I’m trying to make sure my son learns it to make sure his life is easier.

Why Washington?

I have been around the world but I love D.C. because it has a little of everything here. Not too slow or too fast.

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Real Estate

No Rose, your interest rate has nothing to do with how many likes you got on Hinge

Many factors help determine rates these days

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With the rise of interest rates in recent years, buyers must understand the many factors that go into the final number. (Image by HomeStead Digital/Bigstock)

Picture it, you’re sitting in the lunchroom at work, and your coworker just bought a house. Another coworker bought one a few months ago and you hear that she got a totally different interest rate than the other one did, even though they both bought houses not that far from each other. Homebuyers everywhere have been wondering what interest rates they are going to get, lately. It’s easy to read an article online or see an ad on social media stating specific numbers, but there may be more than meets the eye going into a particular buyer’s interest rate. 

What are the factors that can affect the interest rate a buyer eventually “locks in”?

  • Property details – certain properties may be in neighborhoods with higher rates of foreclosure, or there may be specific census tracts that allow a buyer to participate in the “Fannie Mae Home Ready” and “Freddie Mac Home Possible” programs, which carry more flexible requirements such as various income limits and lower interest rates, to help people begin homeownership.   
  • Type of loan / loan amount– a conventional, conforming loan or a jumbo loan can have differing interest rates, as well as FHA loans. 
  • Credit score – most people are aware that this affects what interest rate is quoted, just like on a credit card. Some lenders will work with you on ways to improve a credit score if the goal is to buy six, nine, or 12 months from now.  
  • Lock period – do you want to lock in the rate for 30 days? 45?  Market volatility can cause the rates to change so it will cost more money to hold onto a particular interest rate. 
  • Loan to value ratio – one can still buy a home with less than 20% down, but the rate that is quoted may be higher. 
  • Occupancy type – is this the primary residence or an investment property?
  • Points bought or credits taken – A buyer can pay the lender a fee to buy down the interest rate, or the seller can sometimes offer a credit. This has become more popular in recent years.
  • Market conditions – keep an eye on the news – as we are all aware, change is the only constant!

Lender Tina del Casale with Atlantic Union Bank says, “With jumbo fixed rates in the low 6’s, and first-time buyer down payment assistance loans such as DC Open Doors, rates are in the mid 7’s. With the added factors of your income, the address you are purchasing and your credit score factoring into the equation, interest rates are different from buyer to buyer these days. So, skip the online tools and make a few calls because that’s the only way to get an accurate quote these days!”

It might feel like an overwhelming amount of information to take on, but remember, there are people that help others take these big steps every day. A trusted lender and Realtor can guide their clients from start to finish when it comes to purchasing a home. And for that, you’ll be saying, “thank you for being a friend!”  


Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with Metro Referrals. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].

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Advice

Stop haranguing your husband about how you think he should behave

Make your point and then move on from the argument

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Make your point and move on but don’t insist your significant other sees everything your way. (Photo by TeroVesalainen/Bigstock)

Michael,

My husband is great, but he’s a pushover. It happens at work a lot. For example: His colleague, who came back from maternity leave about four months ago, is always leaving early. And Jeremy is always staying late to finish the jobs that they should be doing together.

But the most galling to me is that he doesn’t speak up for himself in his family. His parents (in my opinion) overtly favor his brother (who is straight) and his brother’s family. I could give a lot of examples. The latest: They’re treating the brother and the family to a cruise.

We’ve been together for 15 years, married for 12, and never get any such treatment.

Jeremy says his brother is strapped for cash (four kids, one income) and the family needs a break, whereas Jeremy doesn’t need his parents to pay for his (or our) vacation. I don’t really want to go on a cruise but it’s the principle of the thing.

Again, this is just one example. I feel bad for Jeremy being walked on, over and over, and I want him to start standing up for himself. Despite my repeated entreaties, he won’t.

When I push him on this, he tells me I’m not seeing the whole picture, or he sees it differently, or it’s not a big deal, or he’s fine with things as they are.

I can’t see how he could be fine with being taken advantage of, or not being appreciated.  I think he’d have a much better life if he actually set some boundaries with people.

How do I persuade Jeremy to listen to me and be more assertive?

Michael replies:

Do you see the irony in complaining that you can’t get your husband to listen to you about being more assertive and setting a boundary?

You’ve made your point to Jeremy, repeatedly, and Jeremy is telling you to back off. In other words, he’s assertively setting a boundary with you. 

You can’t get someone else to behave in the way you want, even when you’re certain that your way is best. Jeremy gets to decide how he wants to conduct himself.

Here’s a pattern I have noticed over and over again through my years of working with couples: When you try to do something for someone that is their own job to do, both you and the person you are trying to “help” wind up being resentful. You get annoyed that the other person won’t listen to your wonderful advice, and the other person gets annoyed because they don’t want someone else telling them what to do or how to live their life.

In this case, you’re trying to get Jeremy to stand up for himself more than he does, and he’s not interested in changing how he operates.

A great rule for relationships: You can advocate for what you want, but you have to let go of the result. (And advocate sparingly, or you risk being a nag).

You are continuing to argue the same point to Jeremy, and Jeremy isn’t interested in listening to you. As you asked for my advice, here it is: Cut it out before he gets into the resentment stage, if he’s not already there, as you apparently are.

Also, please consider that your repeatedly criticizing Jeremy’s parents where Jeremy sees no problem could damage not only your relationship with Jeremy, but also his and your relationship with his family.

We get to marry the person we marry. We don’t get to insist that they upgrade to a better (at least in our opinion) version. Trying to do so is not just disrespectful and a waste of time, it poisons the relationship.

So find a way to live with Jeremy as he is, or — if you find his acquiescent nature unbearable — leave. But don’t spend the rest of your marriage, or even another day, haranguing him about how you think he should behave.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

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Real Estate

The best U.S. cities for LGBTQ homebuyers in 2025

Where strong equality scores, vibrant culture, attainable prices converge

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Philadelphia is among cities that rank highest for LGBTQ homebuyers. (Photo by sborisov/Bigstock)

Buying a home has always been a landmark of security and self-expression. For LGBTQ+ people, it can also be a powerful act of claiming space in a country where housing equality is still a work in progress. The good news? This year offers more options—and more protections—than ever. A record-breaking 130 U.S. cities now score a perfect 100 on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index (MEI), meaning their local laws, services, and political leadership actively protect queer residents, reports.hrc.org. Meanwhile, national housing analysts at Zillow expect only modest price growth this year (about 2.6 percent), giving buyers a little breathing room to shop around.

Below are eight standout markets where strong equality scores, vibrant LGBTQ+ culture, and relatively attainable prices converge. Median sale prices are from March 2025 Zillow data.

1. Minneapolis–St. Paul, MN

Median sale price: $317,500  

Twin Cities residents benefit from statewide nondiscrimination laws that explicitly cover sexual orientation and gender identity, a thriving queer arts scene, and dozens of neighborhood Pride celebrations beyond the mega-festival each June. Buyers also appreciate Minnesota’s down-payment assistance programs for first-time and BIPOC purchasers—many LGBTQ+ households qualify.

2. Philadelphia

Median sale price: $227,667   

Philly combines East Coast culture with Mid-Atlantic affordability. “Gayborhood” anchors like Giovanni’s Room bookstore mingle with new LGBTQ-owned cafés in Fishtown and South Philly. Pennsylvania added statewide housing protections in 2024, closing the legal gaps that once worried trans and nonbinary buyers.

3. Pittsburgh

Median sale price: $221,667 

Don’t let the steel-town stereotype fool you—Pittsburgh’s MEI score is 100, and its real-estate dollar stretches further than in comparable metros. Lawrenceville and Bloomfield have become hubs for queer-owned eateries and co-working spaces, while regional employers in tech and healthcare boast top Corporate Equality Index ratings.

4. Tucson, Ariz.

Median sale price: $328,333 

This desert city punches above its weight in LGBTQ+ visibility thanks to the University of Arizona, a nationally ranked Pride parade, and some of the country’s most picturesque outdoor recreation. Arizona’s statewide fair-housing statute now explicitly lists gender identity, giving buyers added recourse if discrimination occurs.

5. Madison, Wisc.

Median sale price: $413,867 

Madison blends progressive politics with a top-five public university and a booming tech corridor. Local lenders routinely promote inclusive marketing, and Dane County offers one of the few county-level LGBTQ+ home-ownership programs in the nation, providing up to $10,000 in forgivable assistance for low-to-moderate-income couples.

6. Atlanta

Median sale price: $359,967 

The cultural capital of the Southeast delivers queer nightlife, Fortune 500 jobs, and a web of supportive nonprofits such as Lost-n-Found Youth. While Georgia lacks statewide protections, Atlanta’s 100-point MEI score covers public accommodations, contracting, and employer requirements—shielding homebuyers who choose in-town neighborhoods like Midtown or East Point.

7. St. Petersburg, Fla.

Median sale price: $354,667 Yes, Florida’s statewide politics are turbulent, but St. Pete has long held firm on LGBTQ+ equality. The city’s Pride festival draws nearly a million visitors, and local ordinances bar discrimination in housing and public services. Waterfront bungalows in Kenwood and more affordable condos near Uptown give first-time buyers options.

8. Denver

Median sale price: $563,500 

Colorado passed some of the nation’s strongest gender identity housing protections in 2024, and Denver’s queer community remains one of the most visible in the Mountain West. Although prices run higher, buyers gain exceptional job growth and one of the country’s largest Gay & Lesbian Chambers of Commerce.

Smart Strategies for LGBTQ+ Buyers & Sellers

1. Build Your Dream Team Early

  • Work with an equality-focused real-estate pro. The easiest way is to start at GayRealEstate.com, which has screened gay, lesbian, and allied agents in every U.S. market for more than 30 years.
  • Choose inclusive lenders and inspectors. Ask whether each vendor follows HUD’s 2021 guidance interpreting the Fair Housing Act to cover sexual orientation and gender identity.

2. Know Your Rights—And Limitations

  • Federal law bars housing bias, but enforcement can lag. Document everything and report issues to HUD, your state civil-rights agency, or Lambda Legal.
  • In states without full protections, rely on city ordinances (check the MEI) and add explicit nondiscrimination language to your purchase contract.

3. Evaluate Neighborhood Fit

  • Use local data: crime stats, school ratings, transit, and MEI scores of nearby suburbs.
  • Spend time in queer-owned cafés, bars, and community centers to gauge true inclusivity.

4. For Sellers: Market With Pride—And Professionalism

  • Highlight proximity to LGBTQ+ resources (community centers, Pride festivals) in your listing remarks.
  • Stage neutrally but inclusively—rainbow art is great, but removing personal photos can protect privacy during showings.

The landscape for LGBTQ+ homeowners is evolving fast. By coupling inclusive laws, supportive culture, and attainable prices, cities like Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Tucson stand out for 2025. No matter where you land, surround yourself with professionals who value every part of your identity. Start your journey at GayRealEstate.com, lean on the resources above, and claim your corner of the American dream—on your own terms, and with pride.


Scott Helms is president and owner of Gayrealestate.com.

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