‘Seriously… I’m Kidding’
By Ellen DeGeneres
Grand Central Publishing
$26.99
241 pages

Sometimes it’s hard not to laugh but it’s easy to do it when you read “Seriously… I’m Kidding” by Ellen DeGeneres.

“As it turns out, writing a book is hard,” DeGeneres writes.

This is her third book, each one sharing the “…” in the title. She didn’t think writing it would be difficult because, after all, she has a lot to say every day for at least an hour. There’s a lot of talking on a talk show, you know.

There’s a lot of listening, too, and daydreaming is not allowed. DeGeneres listens to many famous people and one of her favorites is Portia de Rossi, who is “beautiful and one of the nicest people [DeGeneres has] ever met.”  Fortunately, a letter from a genealogical society said that she and de Rossi are related. By marriage.

Meaning, they’re married.

And in answer to nosy people, no, they aren’t planning on having a family because “there is far too much glass” in their house. Besides, first you have to give birth.

“I won’t go into specifics,” says DeGeneres, “but ouch and no thank you.”

Now then, just in case you’re thinking that this book is all fluff, you’ll also find useful advice in these pages.

DeGeneres gives readers hints on being a supermodel and how to know what clothes will come back in fashion. She writes about polls and why people shouldn’t put too much faith in them. She offers several ways to gamble while in Las Vegas, she gives kudos to funny women who’ve paved the way for people like her, and you’ll find some impressively big words in this book.

But will you find laughs?

Yes… but.

Yes. “Seriously… I’m Kidding” is seriously funny. Reading it is like a 241-page monologue in your lap. Author and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres is as good in this book as she is on-stage, and DeGeneres’ wicked wit beams bright from almost each page.  Some of her lines practically beg you to call your mother and share aloud.

But wait. Did you notice I said “almost”?

But there are times when this book dives below silliness. An entire page devoted to sound effects? Four pages of drawings for your child to color? Seriously? Jokes like these and a few go-nowhere “short stories” may leave readers scratching their heads. Fortunately, the fall-flats are few, but still …

But still, if you’re a fan of DeGeneres’ talk show or stage performance, you’ll find a treasure-trove of classic humor that you won’t want to be without. For you, “Seriously… I’m Kidding” will be a hard book to miss.