Arts & Entertainment
Savage views
Gay advice columnist has new MTV sex show
Dan Savage chats with a young gay University of Maryland student about his sex life in an early episode of ‘Savage U,’ a new MTV sex advice show. (Photo courtesy MTV)
The Blade caught up with Dan Savage last week — he’s plugging his new MTV show “Savage U” (Tuesdays at 11 p.m.) and took a few minutes out of a dizzying schedule of writing advice columns, editing newspapers, hosting the new show and being an anti-bullying advocate — in addition to being a family man — to riff on this and that.
BLADE: There’ve been so many cable sex advice shows over the years — the old MSNBC shows, Sue Johanson and even MTV’s own “Loveline” with Dr. Drew and Adam for those of us old enough to remember it. What can yours add that hasn’t been done before or does every generation need its own sex advice show?
SAVAGE: Hopefully what I bring to it is what I bring to “Savage Love” (his syndicated advice columnist which runs locally in City Paper) — a sex-positive, kink-positive take and one that embraces pleasure as a legitimate goal that celebrates people’s desire. A lot of what I’ve seen is really kind of sex negative that starts first with no, then with maybe. “Savage Love” works its way from maybe to yes to yes, definitely … there’s a school of thinking that says, “Oh my God, you can’t have sex if there’s any risk,” but there’s risk in all kinds of things. What needs to be discussed is how to mitigate the risk as much as possible but then at a certain point yes, you have a right to go for it. You also have to be able to shoulder the consequences. … There’s always a risk but you don’t hear people advocating against sky diving or snowboarding. There’s a whole bunch of people who will drop dead today from eating chicken salad and yeah, you’d be an idiot to leave it out in the sun for three days and then eat it, so we can apply that same brainy shit to sex.
BLADE: How do you get these college students to go on the air and say, “I have herpes” or “I’m a virgin.” Are you involved in finding them or do producers do that?
SAVAGE: There are producers who do that ahead of time. I need to be hearing about their stories for the first time when we film, so there are layers of producers who vet them ahead of time. There are a lot of old farts like me who think YouTube and Facebook and Twitter and all that is something new and always will be, but for somebody who’s 19 and basically grew up with this stuff, they have different attitudes about privacy … we’ve started some taping and then stopped ….
BLADE: Why? What would be an example of someone whose story shouldn’t be aired?
SAVAGE: This was someone who obviously had a deeper-seated medical issue that became evident on camera and we felt talking about the issue would have unfairly outed the person and would have been kind of dishonest so we unplugged the mics … we try to be honest and honor the kids without exploiting anyone.
BLADE: You seem so much nicer on the show than in your column where you often seem very exasperated and caustic. Why?
SAVAGE: Well I told someone in the premiere episode they were an idiot so I’m a little caustic here and there on the show but I think in the column, some of it is having to boil so much down to fit the space that it can make me seem more caustic and sarcastic than I am. I’ve had people say for the podcast I seem so much nicer but that’s the benefit of being able to run my mouth. It’s a different venue … also on the show, I’m a lot more willing to cut these kids some slack because they’re 18. I’m a lot more patient with an 18-year-old fuck up than I am with a 38-year-old fuck up. It’s like of course you’re fucked up when you’re 18 because 18 is fucked up anyway.
BLADE: Are you of the school of thought that a Santorum nomination would have been better for Obama than a Romney nomination or does any Santorum success cause you to shudder?
SAVAGE: I agree with Bill Maher on that — I don’t trust the American people enough to have (had) Santorum be the nominee. This is a country that elected Bush, at least once, he stole it the first time, but I would take Romney over Santorum though they’re two bars set so low they’re basically on the floor.
BLADE: What is the most pressing sex question you see from gay men?
SAVAGE: Male fear of intimacy is real and so it’s doubled with gay men. That comes up a lot. I also hear from young gay guys, like 15, 16, 17, 18 who say there’s no one for them to date. Their straight peers have been dating since the middle school dances but they’ve been alone or they say there are only older gay guys to date and I tell them dating starts later a lot of times for us so they don’t have a lot of options. Also monogamy comes up a lot. Gay guys are also guys so often it becomes an issue of non-monogamous relationships that are grounded in trust and disclosure rather than lying and cheating and running around.
BLADE: How do you have time to add a show to your busy schedule?
SAVAGE: Terry is a stay-at-home dad — that hetero-normative model of having a stay-at-home wife, that shit is awesome if you can afford it. We’re lucky in that regard.
Theater
‘Acting their asses off’ in ‘Exception to the Rule’
Studio production takes place during after-school detention
‘Exception to the Rule’
Through Sunday, October 27
Studio Theatre
1501 14th St. NW, Washington, D.C.
$40-$95
Studiotheatre.org
After-school detention is a bore, but it’s especially tiresome on the last day of classes before a holiday.
In Dave Harris’s provocative new play “Exception to the Rule” (now at Studio Theatre) that’s just the case.
It’s Friday, and the usual suspects are reporting to room 111 for detention before enjoying the long MLK weekend. First on the scene are blaring “bad girl” Mikayla (Khalia Muhammad) and nerdy stoner Tommy (Stephen Taylor Jr.), followed by mercurial player Dayrin (Jacques Jean-Mary), kind Dasani (Shana Lee Hill), and unreadable Abdul (Khouri St.Surin).
The familiar is jaw-droppingly altered by the entrance of “College Bound Erika” (Sabrina Lynne Sawyer), a detention first timer whose bookworm presence elicits jokes from the others: What happened? You fail a test?
Dasani (who’s teased for being named for designer water) dubs Erika “Sweet Pea” and welcomes her to the rule-breaking fold. Together the regulars explain how detention works: The moderator, Mr. Bernie, shows up, signs their slips, and then they go. But today the teacher is tardy.
As they wait, the kids pass the time laughing, trash talking, flirting, and yelling. When not bouncing around the classroom, Dayrin is grooming his hair, while Dasani endlessly reapplies blush and lip gloss. At one point two boys almost come to blows, nearly repeating the cafeteria brawl that landed them in detention in the first place.
It’s loud. It’s confrontational. And it’s funny.
Erika is naively perplexed: “I thought detention was quiet. A place where everyone remembers the mistakes that got them here and then learns how to not make the same mistakes again.”
For room 111, the only connection to the outside world is an increasingly glitchy and creepy intercom system. Announcements (bus passes, the school’s dismal ranking, the impending weekend lockdown, etc.) are spoken by the unseen but unmistakably stentorian-voiced Craig Wallace.
Dave Harris first conceived “Exception to the Rule” in 2014 during his junior year at Yale University. In the program notes, the Black playwright describes “Exception to the Rule” as “a single set / six actors on a stage, just acting their asses off.” It’s true, and they do it well.
Miranda Haymon is reprising their role as director (they finely helmed the play’s 2022 off-Broadway debut at Roundabout Theatre Company in New York). Haymon orchestrates a natural feel to movement in the classroom, and without entirely stilling the action on stage (makeup applying, scribbling, etc.), the out director gives each member of the terrific cast their revelatory moment. In a busy room, we learn that Tommy’s goofiness belies trauma, that Mikayla is admirably resourceful, and most startling, why Erika, the school’s top student, is in detention.
Mr. Bernie is clearly a no-show. And despite his absence, the regulars are bizarrely loath to leave the confines of 111 for fear of catching yet another detention. Of course, it’s emblematic of something bigger. Still, things happen within the room.
While initially treated as a sort of mascot, awkwardly quiet Erika becomes rather direct in her questions and observations. Suddenly, she’s rather stiffly doling out unsolicited advice.
It’s as if an entirely new person has been thrown into the mix.
Not all of her guidance goes unheeded. Take fighting for instance. At Erika’s suggestion, St.Surin’s Abdul refrains from kicking Dayrin’s ass. (Just feet from the audience gathered for a recent matinee in Studio’s intimate Mead Theatre, Abdul’s frustration resulting from anger while yearning for a world of principled order is palpable as evidenced when a single tear rolled down the actor’s right cheek)
Set designer Tony Cisek renders a no-frills classroom with cinder block walls, a high and horizontal row of frosted fixed windows that become eerily prison like when overhead fluorescent lighting is threateningly dimmed.
Still, no matter how dark, beyond the classroom door, a light remains aglow, encouraging the kids to ponder an exit plan.
The Washington Commanders are proud to welcome the LGBTQ community for the fourth annual “Pride Night Out!” on Sunday, Oct. 6 at 1 p.m. at Northwest Stadium in Landover, Md.
This will be a matchup against the Cleveland Browns. The Pregame Pride Party Pass and Club level game ticket includes premier party location and club level ticket all-you-can-eat buffet, beer and wine, an exclusive Commanders Pride T-shirt, pregame entertainment and a postgame photo on the field.
More ticket options are available and $5 of every ticket goes back to Team DC. For more information visit the Commanders’ website.
Friday, October 4
“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email [email protected].
Go Gay DC will host “First Friday LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 7 p.m. at The Commentary. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Saturday, October 5
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
LGBTQ+ People of Color Support Group will be at 1:00p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space that strives to be safe and judgment free. For more details, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.
Sunday, October 6
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Dinner” at 6:30 p.m. at Federico Ristorante Italiano Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. Guests are encouraged to come enjoy an evening of Italian-style dining and conversation with other LGBTQ folk. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
AfroCode DC will be at 4 p.m. at Decades DC. This event will be an experience of non-stop music, dancing, and good vibes and a crossover of genres and a fusion of cultures. Tickets cost $40 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
Monday, October 7
Center Aging: Monday Coffee & Conversation will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of their choice. For more details, email [email protected].
Tuesday, October 8
Pride on the Patio Events will host “LGBTQ Social Mixer” at 5:30 p.m. at Showroom. Dress is casual, fancy, or comfortable. Guests are encouraged to bring their most authentic self to chat, laugh, and get a little crazy. Admission is free and more details are on Eventbrite.
Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a peer-facilitated discussion group. It is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook page.
Trans Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is intended to provide emotionally and physically safe space for trans* people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected].
Wednesday, October 9
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.
Thursday, October 10
Virtual Yoga with Charles M. will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.
South Asian LGBTQ+ Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. KHUSHDC provides a safe, confidential space for South Asian LGBTQ community members to come together and share experiences. This peer support group is an outlet for South Asian-identified LGBTQ individuals to come and talk about anything affecting them. For more details, email [email protected].
Supreme Court begins fall term with major gender affirming care case on the docket
‘I don’t want a genocide to be done on queer people’s behalf’
‘Acting their asses off’ in ‘Exception to the Rule’
Avoiding the basement blahs
Biden-Harris must ensure access to HIV prevention drugs
Is the Washington Post editorial board asleep?
GOP candidate in Del. House race expresses LGBTQ support
Electing Harris is an imperative for LGBTQ community
It’s time we talk about trauma
