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Change of heart

Texas PFLAG mom shares journey of accepting her lesbian daughter

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Shari Johnson (left) with her daughter Cholene and husband James in Grenada for Cholene’s white coat ceremony at the start of her medical school program in January 2011. (Photo courtesy Johnson/Changing Lives Press)

Shari Johnson hasn’t thought much about Mother’s Day.

“I really haven’t thought that far ahead,” the long-time Odessa, Texas, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and conservative Evangelical Christian says by phone from her home. “[My children] pretty much call me if they’re available but I try not to put a whole lot of that unrealized expectation into things. They have their own lives and their own spouses so it’s about them and that’s how it should be and it works for us.”

Johnson might not be thinking much about being a mom this weekend but it’s a topic she’s thought about intently in recent years. Her first book “Above All Things,” published through her daughter Cholene Espinoza’s Changing Lives Press, comes out May 21 and tells of Johnson’s nearly decade-long journey from the time Cholene came out to her by phone as a lesbian in July 2002, to Johnson’s status now as a PFLAG mom (she started a chapter of the gay-affirming group in Odessa) who has retained her faith in the process (order the book here).

The book tells extensively of Johnson’s (a former dental hygienist) rocky early life, her born-again experience in 1971 after two failed marriages, the black-and-white world view that developed out of years of going to Evangelical churches and the painful journey that came from not only accepting her daughter being gay, but the extensive ramifications it had on every aspect of her life.

Though her prayer had initially been that Cholene — an overachiever pilot with years of Air Force and commercial flying under her belt who’s now in medical school — would “be delivered” from homosexuality, Johnson now sees the experience as a catalyst for a radical adjustment to her faith and overall world view. She credits God with her change of heart and writes several times in the book of experiences where she feels the Lord was speaking to her.

“I kept praying that God would change my daughter but I’m the one who ended up being changed,” Johnson writes. “Prior to this time, I thought I had all the answers. Now I’m not even sure that I understand the questions. I viewed life as being either black or white, there was no gray. I avoided anyone who didn’t think as I did. I was a ‘my-mind-is-made-up-don’t-confuse-me-with-the-facts’-type of person.”

But Johnson’s views began to evolve as she realized her daughter’s 2004 marriage to White House correspondent Ellen Ratner was bringing an unfairly different reaction than it would have had she been marrying a man, the hypocrisy she says Christians often exhibit when talking of the supposed sin of homosexuality compared to most other sins (of which Johnson says they often given themselves a “free pass”), and the realization that nobody (especially a Christian) would choose a gay orientation for themselves. These epiphanies had life-changing effects on her.

After years of study and thought, Johnson believes centuries of anti-gay preaching in Christian churches of most varieties comes down to mistakes in scriptural interpretation.

“If we believe that homosexuality is not a choice, then we have to either believe that God is cruel to have played this terrible trick on people and not the loving God we think he is (and that would be a God I could not serve),” she writes in the book. “Or there has to be a mistake in interpreting the scriptures. I chose to believe the latter.”

Though initially highly skeptical, Johnson feels the Lord brought her to a place where she was able to consider that she may have been wrong before.

“I always thought I had sought the will of God in my life before but I realize now what I had often been doing was going to him with my plan and then leaving before I got an answer,” she says. “If people are truly seeking, and all I’m asking people to do is consider that we could be wrong on the way some of these scriptures have been interpreted over the years, but when I finally got around to reading what some of these writers were saying — and I avoided even reading this stuff for the longest time — I realized I needed to start thinking for myself and not just keep blindly repeating what someone else had told me.”

Johnson credits the writings of Rev. Paula Jackson and her work “What Does the Bible Say About Being Gay? — Probably Not What You’ve Been Told,” with helping her expand her theological horizons. That Jackson didn’t write in a “histrionic, blasphemous, in-your-face” manner that “didn’t disregard my point of view,” resonated with Johnson.

“She just presented the facts and lets the reader come to his or her own conclusions,” Johnson writes. “The entire study boils down to this one question: What if we’re wrong?”

Espinoza, who eventually hopes to work as a doctor with Ratner in South Sudan, says it’s important for gay Christians to follow the example of Christ rather than get sidelined in what she and her mother now feel is misconstrued anti-gay theology.

“Christ did not have anything to say about homosexuality but he had a lot to say about love, honor and respect,” she wrote in an e-mail to the Blade. “If we are loving, honorable and respectful in our relationships, I think that reduces a lot of the guilt and self loathing in our heads. We need to separate those who condemn us from the message of love and reconciliation, the message that Christ has brought to us.”

Johnson has become a staunch advocate for LGBT acceptance within Christian churches in the Odessa area. It’s led to a thorny conundrum — she’s tried sharing her story, but often leaves Bible studies and church services feeling she’s been merely placated. She’s at a point now where she can’t stomach anti-gay teaching from the pulpit and has left several churches in frustration. She says gay-welcoming churches in her part of the state are pretty much non-existent.

Johnson has lots of interesting opinions on trends in the modern church, especially with the anti-gay teaching that abounds in the Bible Belt.

She concedes there is a time, whether it’s in the political or religious realm, where it’s OK to respectfully agree to disagree.

“This whole idea of, ‘You have to see things my way,’ that’s never worked in politics, religion or anything else,” she says. “It never worked and it never will. But God gave me a big wake-up call and I would love for other people to not have to go through what I went through. That’s really why I wrote the book.”

She says it’s possible that churches with anti-gay teaching that seem to be thriving — even those led by household-name preachers like Rick Warren and Joel Osteen — might not be as blest as it appears.

“You can’t always assume that God’s blessing a church just because of the numbers,” she says. “People go to church for all sorts of reasons. And when these men have been put on the spot on national television and asked about gay issues and the whole Christian community is sort of collectively holding its breath waiting to hear what they say, they give the accepted answer, but I doubt very seriously that’s what they’re preaching from the pulpit or what they really feel in their hearts.”

But could so many religious teachers have been so wrong for so many years on gay issues? Johnson says yes.

“It’s happened since creation,” she says. “Anytime man gets involved, he manages to screw things up … Anytime there’s been a religious movement that gets started, it’s basically that person’s idea of who God is and what sin is. We tend to think we have all this figured out but you know what the Bible says about our own righteousness — it’s like filthy rags to God.”

But how does someone — especially a gay teen struggling with suicidal thoughts growing up in an Evangelical household — know whom to listen to? Aren’t there well-meaning Christians who simply believe homosexuality isn’t part of God’s plan?

Johnson says that’s where her biggest concern lies — she wants LGBT teens and young adults to have a chance to consider the possibility that their being gay isn’t the sinful curse many churches make it out to be. It’s the main reason she started her PFLAG chapter.

“I don’t have an easy answer for this but we have to have a place for kids to go and hear a different message. They’re not exposed to it at home, they have no place to hear a positive message, they’re in trouble and it has nothing to do with who they really are.”

With so many voices out there claiming to be spokesmen for God or claiming to have heard from God directly, Johnson admits absolute truth is “not always easy to discern.” She says she knows it’s God speaking when she feels compelled to go out of her comfort zone for the greater good.

“I usually know that if it’s contrary to the way I think, it’s usually God,” she says with a self-deprecating tone she uses often in the book. “I tend to line up with the other guy more often in my own thinking. But I can tell if I’m doing something for selfish reasons or whatever, it’s not of God. He does not let up. If it’s something I feel I’m supposed to do … I’m usually thinking, ‘Don’t make me do this.’ You have to learn to set aside the voice of past teaching, past thinking. … For everyone it’s different, but I feel when it’s truly God speaking, it’s a different thing and you know it.”

 

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Jason DePuy on coping with homophobia in ‘Big Brother’ house

First drag queen contestant on CBS show fought to stay positive

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Jason DePuy on Big Brother (Photo courtesy of CBS Broadcasting,Inc.)

One week after Jason DePuy (known as Salina EsTitties on “RuPaul’s Drag Race”) was bullied and eventually evicted from CBS’s “Big Brother” house, the queer drag performer is still emotionally processing his feelings.

During his 24 days in the reality TV competition, DePuy often had a rough time, with fellow cast member Kamuela “Kamu” Kirk making homophobic comments and feeling isolated.

In a conversation with Head of Household Rick Devens, Kirk left viewers upset when he said, “Bro, miss me with the drag stuff. Miss me. I’m still an MMA guy, and I have an image to uphold.”

Former “Big Brother” contestant Frankie Grande called his words  ‘homophobic’ and ‘gross.’ Another comment, where Kirk said he wanted to end DePuy’s career, also received strong backlash online.

Now that he is out of the house, DePuy has been shocked and deeply touched by the love from “Big Brother” fans and former contestants. We chatted with DePuy for this Blade exclusive.

“To know that my community was rallying for me outside the house was the most wonderful thing. Seeing how much people were just wanting to shower me with love was incredible. Even my friends, I went to say hi and give them a hug, and they’re like, ‘Uh, uh, come here.’ They had to hold me and let me know America was feeling for me in a way that I had no idea.”

He added: “To see that reality was just overwhelming, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

Known as a messy player in the house, DePuy often had to fight to stay positive and stand up for himself. 

“No one was coming to my rescue. In real life, it’s easy to block people, but in the house, I didn’t have that luxury, so I had to find it within myself to learn how to speak up for myself in a way that wasn’t nasty or biting. I didn’t attack anyone personally, which is what I was the most proud of.”

DePuy acknowledged he has had a history of putting his foot in his mouth when it came to certain “Drag Race”moments, being in the public eye, and making a fool of himself. “I’ve learned my lessons; to see how I handled myself in the ‘Big Brother’ house was amazing.” 

While DePuy has been sober for 14 and a half years and has a strong spiritual foundation, in the Big Brother house, he often felt like he couldn’t communicate what he was feeling. 

“As a queer person, a person of color, a drag queen, I have to be very careful about how I move. I don’t have the luxury or privilege to just act a certain way or say a certain thing. I have to be very careful; I’m representing me. But who I am is a Latino, a person of recovery, a drag queen, a queer person in the community. I know that there’s a lot of pressure that comes with that. I felt it was safer for me to sit there and just breathe than try to do anything crazy.”

He continued: “I couldn’t speak to the personal attack that was happening in the house, because in my mind I was like, ‘no, this is a game, and I have to play it, put that aside.’”

Not only can viewers watch the episodes, but they can also watch the live feeds of what’s happening. Seeing the fans’ social media posts from people who had watched the episodes and the live feeds also contributed to DePuy realizing that his feelings of discomfort were valid.

“To know that I wasn’t delusional in those moments, that others could see what was happening, has been a lot to take in. Fans and friends let me know the comments made went beyond the game…I’m like, ‘Oh, so my instincts were correct.”

One of the most poignant moments on the live feeds occurred when DePuy was crying, alone in his room, and said how he missed his gay community.

“I really missed my friends. I missed my queer community. We’re so colorful. We’re so loud. We’re so vibrant. We speak off the cuff, and we’re very truthful and honest with how we speak, and it’s fun. We have fun lingo.”

DePuy had to censor his expressions in the house. “Because I can say one thing, but it can mean something different to straight people than it does with my queer brothers and sisters. So, there was a sense of code-switching that I had to do. I had to even put aside some of my queerness in a way sometimes to fit in.”

DePuy was thrilled to be the very first drag queen to ever be cast on the show. 

“I’m honored to have been chosen. There’s a million drag queens out there, and to know that I was a contender to come in the house and not even be in drag was like a wow for me. I’m over here in Hollywood, running around these streets with a wig and heels just to make a dollar to survive, and I have to rely on drag to do that. And then to be offered this opportunity and be given the privilege to say, ‘hey, you don’t have to put on the wig for you to be valuable here,’ is just insane to me.”

Prior to his shows, DePuy has been hustling for 15 years, flipping burgers and doing drag at night.

“That has been my life these past since I was 17. So it’s been a long journey; the opportunity to do this out of drag is a very big blessing. I’m honored and grateful to be the representation of my community.”

If you missed Jason on “Big Brother: Unlocked,” the episode can be seen on CBS.com. He will be back on the show for the finale.

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Sports

2 former NBA players launch cheap anti-trans stunt to exploit WNBA rules

Enes Kanter Freedom and Royce White are attempting to extend their finished sports careers through vague gender eligibility policy in the WNBA.

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The future of transgender participation on the basketball court could change following changes to the league's gender based eligibility policy. (Photo by yobro/Bigstock)

As transgender sports policy continues to make headlines, two former NBA players are attempting to use vague WNBA wording on players’ gender identity to extend their finished professional sports careers.

Enes Kanter Freedom and Royce White, two male former professional basketball players who have aligned themselves with the ‘far-right’ political spectrum, have announced that they plan to self-identify as transgender in order to meet the requirements to declare themselves eligible for the WNBA draft.

Freedom last played for the NBA in 2022, while White played his last professional game in 2018.

Both players have explicitly stated that this choice is an attempt to exploit the policy currently in place in the WNBA — one that assumes those who say they identify as transgender women are women — unlike what these two have done.

The WNBA’s collective bargaining agreement states that “only players who are women are eligible to play in the WNBA,” but it does not include more specific language about gender identity or sex assigned at birth, according to The Athletic, The New York Times’s sports publication.

Neither Freedom nor White has previously made any statements about being trans.

“If simply declaring who you are is all that’s required, then I meet every single requirement necessary to compete in the WNBA,” Freedom wrote on X. “Based on the current guidelines, I can and am officially declaring my eligibility for the upcoming WNBA draft in April 2027.”

Hours later, White made a similar statement to Fox News, emphasizing that this was solely an attempt to exploit the policy — an attempt at inclusion — and use it as a loophole to stay relevant in the sport he left in 2018.

“I’m transgender. I’m a woman. I identify as sometimes identifying as a woman for purpose of basketball, professional basketball, so I’ll be declaring for the WNBA draft in 2027 as well,“ White told Fox News. “I think I’d be unstoppable. But I’m a team-first guy. I’m a pass-first kind of player. I do the little things. I led my team in all five major stat categories at Iowa State University, so I do a little bit of everything. I’ll do whatever the coach needs me to do. I’ll do whatever the girls need me to do.”

White also said that he would be open to suing the WNBA if he were not allowed to be a part of the draft, while making transphobic comments about genitalia in the same breath.

“I think the WNBA could come out and make a definitive statement about guys with a pair of balls playing in the Women’s Association,“ White said, saying he doesn’t “want to be discriminated against.”

“I want fair treatment,” White continued while also using the opportunity to promote his run for the U.S. Senate seat in Minnesota. “I’m a young Black, hopefully United States Senator that would like a fair chance to participate as a sometimes-identifying-as-a-transgender-woman athlete.”

“We’re gonna have to have a huge legal battle about discrimination if I can’t play,” he added.

White has made multiple failed attempts to run for office as a Republican since leaving the NBA, with statements surrounding conspiracy theories and his support for Trump coming under fire.

He has faced court actions after falling behind on court-mandated child support payments and has faced family repercussions for his political activities.

White’s grandfather has distanced himself from White, stating: “There’s no way I can support my grandson supporting the GOP, and in essence, Trump.”

In response to Freedom’s X post and White’s announcement, the Women’s National Basketball Players’ Association, the players’ union for the WNBA, released a statement doubling down on its commitment to inclusivity in the sport.

“We embrace justice, equity, diversity, and inclusion. Those are the values that unite this Union and allow it to protect women’s sports while creating transformational change,” the statement said in a post on Instagram.

“Hate, abuse, and demonization of any person or group of people, including transgender people, only fuel fear, division, and harm. We will continue to have hard conversations,” the post continued. “But we will not be used as political pawns.”

The statement comes just days after WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert sent a memo to teams attempting to address ongoing discussions around transgender athletes in women’s basketball.

“I know many of you have received questions in recent weeks regarding transgender athlete participation in women’s basketball, and I expect this topic will continue to receive significant attention,” Engelbert wrote in the memo, which was sent Friday afternoon and published in the Associated Press. “I wanted to reach out to share how we are approaching these conversations at the league office and to thank those of you who have responded to questions from the media with thoughtfulness and professionalism.”

“We recognize that this is a complex and nuanced topic, and we will continue to have important conversations with all of you and the Players Association in the weeks and months ahead,” Engelbert said. “We also plan to convene additional discussions and offer listening sessions for any team leaders who would like to participate. Your perspectives and feedback are invaluable, and I appreciate those who have already reached out to share their thoughts.”

The memo, which does not clarify whether the league’s stance on gender eligibility will change or what the ongoing conversations have looked like, comes as political figures — particularly those on the right — continue to fuel debates over transgender participation in women’s sports across the country and across sports.

Republican Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis also commented on the ongoing eligibility meetings the WNBA is holding, using the issue to criticize transgender participation in women’s sports.

“WNBA meeting to decide whether 2+2=4 or 2+2=5,” Desantis wrote on X on Saturday.

Indiana Fever player Sophie Cunningham voiced support for barring transgender girls and women from girls’ and women’s sports. Cunningham’s comments sparked small rallies and protests in Seattle and Portland when the Fever were on the road last week.

Despite the loudest voices — and those being covered by non-LGBTQ outlets — highlighting negative takes on transgender inclusion on female sports teams, multiple WNBA members have voiced their support for transgender women participating in sports.

Seattle Storm center Stefanie Dolson and Minnesota Lynx coach Cheryl Reeve have used their platforms to continue their vocal support for transgender women participating in sports.

“We need to protect trans kids,” Reeve said on Aug. 1. “To me, it’s a human rights issue. Every kid has a right to sports.”

A source familiar with the league told the Blade that the WNBA is not taking Freedom and White’s announcements seriously and is not entertaining what the source characterized as bad-faith efforts to demonize the transgender community. The source emphasized that there are no serious or immediate eligibility issues involving the two men and said their attempts to enter women’s sports do not represent an effort to protect women’s sports.

“The WNBA will not allow bad-faith publicity stunts designed to mock or demean others to dictate serious conversations about league policy,” the source told the Blade on Tuesday. “There are no immediate eligibility issues affecting the WNBA.”

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Theater

Don’t miss summer productions at Clear Space in Rehoboth Beach

‘Cher Show,’ ‘Pretty Woman’ among season’s standouts

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Abby Lynne and Caetano de Sá (Photo by Deny Howeth)

“The Cher Show” at Clear Space Theatre is wonderful. I am always amazed at the talent they attract for their summer series. Kudos to Wes Drummond, the artistic director of the theater. “The Cher Show” is written by Rick Elice. Compliments to the talented director, James FitzSimmons, who brought to life this production. His immensely talented cast includes Shannen Hofheimer as Star, Breanna Lemerise as Lady, Abby Lynne as Babe, and Anya Kay, as young Cher. Each is a pleasure to both watch and listen to. They command the stage. Then more kudos to the entire cast and ensemble. Also, the creative team, which includes among so many who make this show a hit, choreographer Shondelle Graulich; scenic designer, David Chappell; lighting designer Brendan Smith; costume designer Valerie Beardsley; and the entire orchestra led by conductor, Jerry Birl. 

But the actor who I was looking forward to seeing in the production, was a young actor I had written about, and reviewed, when I saw him at Clear Space two years ago. In this production he is Sonny Bono, and he definitely didn’t disappoint. 

Let me introduce Caetano de Sá. I have written about him before, but his resume is worth repeating. It says; Height: 5’7 ½, Eyes: Brown, Voice part: Tenor G2 – C5, Build: Athletic. All true. Then you add to this he speaks Brazilian Portuguese, is certified in stage combat by the Society of American Fight Directors, and is a 2nd Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo. Then as his resume of roles confirms, he can act, sing, and dance with the best. He does a great job as Sonny and is fun to watch on stage. Here he displays his talents as a singer and actor, and they are as good as I remembered them when I first met Caetano while he was still in school in 2024, and was starring as Frankie Valli in “Jersey Boys,” at Clear Space. At the time he was a rising senior at the Boston Conservatory at Berklee BFA Musical Theater program. I interviewed him, and Harry Sperduto, who played Tommy Devotee, after seeing them in the show, and being amazed by their talent. Since that time, I have followed their careers. When I heard Caetano was coming back to Clear Space for the summer, I reached out, and he agreed to sit down and chat, which we did. I knew Clear Space Theatre was planning a busy summer season. Their lineup of shows included “The Cher Show,” “Mean Girls,” and “Pretty Woman.” They always have talented casts, including the many college students who are getting their first chance to shine, which was the case for Caetano in 2024. Now he is back as a graduate, with more experience under his belt, a little more established. This season he was going to play Sonny in their production of “The Cher Show,” Martin/Coach Carr, in “Mean Girls,” and Mr. Hollister in “Pretty Woman,” and being a part of the ensemble. He told me he really enjoys being at Clear Space, and that his castmates are all talented. He is a lot more experienced than when he was here before, having performed in productions at the Prairie Repertory Theatre, the Emerald Coast Theatre Company, Firehouse Center for the Arts, and the Sullivan Rep, among others. In productions as diverse as “Oklahoma!,” “Mystic Pizza,” “Hairspray,” and “Rock of Ages.” He now lives in New York City and clearly New York is the perfect place for an aspiring actor. He has an agent at Bramante Artists, who is getting him gigs, like the one he had at 54 Below and even a TV commercial for AFLAC. 

“The Cher Show” is the second show I have seen at Clear Space this summer. After our chat I got one of the last tickets available that evening for “Pretty Woman.” In that production he has a smaller role, and is part of the incredibly talented ensemble. It is also an entertaining show and its very talented stars, Abby McDonough as Vivian, and Jaiden Leo Riley as Edward, are a pleasure to watch. Kudos to the talented director, Ashley Williams, and the entire creative team. 

For anyone living at the beach, or coming for a visit, I urge you to plan a night at Clear Space. You won’t regret it. But know tickets for all the shows, and Sunday evening cabaret nights, sell out fast. So, I suggest you see what’s available online and buy yours today.   

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