Arts & Entertainment
Change of heart
Texas PFLAG mom shares journey of accepting her lesbian daughter
Shari Johnson (left) with her daughter Cholene and husband James in Grenada for Cholene’s white coat ceremony at the start of her medical school program in January 2011. (Photo courtesy Johnson/Changing Lives Press)
Shari Johnson hasn’t thought much about Mother’s Day.
“I really haven’t thought that far ahead,” the long-time Odessa, Texas, mother, grandmother, great-grandmother and conservative Evangelical Christian says by phone from her home. “[My children] pretty much call me if they’re available but I try not to put a whole lot of that unrealized expectation into things. They have their own lives and their own spouses so it’s about them and that’s how it should be and it works for us.”
Johnson might not be thinking much about being a mom this weekend but it’s a topic she’s thought about intently in recent years. Her first book “Above All Things,” published through her daughter Cholene Espinoza’s Changing Lives Press, comes out May 21 and tells of Johnson’s nearly decade-long journey from the time Cholene came out to her by phone as a lesbian in July 2002, to Johnson’s status now as a PFLAG mom (she started a chapter of the gay-affirming group in Odessa) who has retained her faith in the process (order the book here).
The book tells extensively of Johnson’s (a former dental hygienist) rocky early life, her born-again experience in 1971 after two failed marriages, the black-and-white world view that developed out of years of going to Evangelical churches and the painful journey that came from not only accepting her daughter being gay, but the extensive ramifications it had on every aspect of her life.
Though her prayer had initially been that Cholene — an overachiever pilot with years of Air Force and commercial flying under her belt who’s now in medical school — would “be delivered” from homosexuality, Johnson now sees the experience as a catalyst for a radical adjustment to her faith and overall world view. She credits God with her change of heart and writes several times in the book of experiences where she feels the Lord was speaking to her.
“I kept praying that God would change my daughter but I’m the one who ended up being changed,” Johnson writes. “Prior to this time, I thought I had all the answers. Now I’m not even sure that I understand the questions. I viewed life as being either black or white, there was no gray. I avoided anyone who didn’t think as I did. I was a ‘my-mind-is-made-up-don’t-confuse-me-with-the-facts’-type of person.”
But Johnson’s views began to evolve as she realized her daughter’s 2004 marriage to White House correspondent Ellen Ratner was bringing an unfairly different reaction than it would have had she been marrying a man, the hypocrisy she says Christians often exhibit when talking of the supposed sin of homosexuality compared to most other sins (of which Johnson says they often given themselves a “free pass”), and the realization that nobody (especially a Christian) would choose a gay orientation for themselves. These epiphanies had life-changing effects on her.
After years of study and thought, Johnson believes centuries of anti-gay preaching in Christian churches of most varieties comes down to mistakes in scriptural interpretation.
“If we believe that homosexuality is not a choice, then we have to either believe that God is cruel to have played this terrible trick on people and not the loving God we think he is (and that would be a God I could not serve),” she writes in the book. “Or there has to be a mistake in interpreting the scriptures. I chose to believe the latter.”
Though initially highly skeptical, Johnson feels the Lord brought her to a place where she was able to consider that she may have been wrong before.
“I always thought I had sought the will of God in my life before but I realize now what I had often been doing was going to him with my plan and then leaving before I got an answer,” she says. “If people are truly seeking, and all I’m asking people to do is consider that we could be wrong on the way some of these scriptures have been interpreted over the years, but when I finally got around to reading what some of these writers were saying — and I avoided even reading this stuff for the longest time — I realized I needed to start thinking for myself and not just keep blindly repeating what someone else had told me.”
Johnson credits the writings of Rev. Paula Jackson and her work “What Does the Bible Say About Being Gay? — Probably Not What You’ve Been Told,” with helping her expand her theological horizons. That Jackson didn’t write in a “histrionic, blasphemous, in-your-face” manner that “didn’t disregard my point of view,” resonated with Johnson.
“She just presented the facts and lets the reader come to his or her own conclusions,” Johnson writes. “The entire study boils down to this one question: What if we’re wrong?”
Espinoza, who eventually hopes to work as a doctor with Ratner in South Sudan, says it’s important for gay Christians to follow the example of Christ rather than get sidelined in what she and her mother now feel is misconstrued anti-gay theology.
“Christ did not have anything to say about homosexuality but he had a lot to say about love, honor and respect,” she wrote in an e-mail to the Blade. “If we are loving, honorable and respectful in our relationships, I think that reduces a lot of the guilt and self loathing in our heads. We need to separate those who condemn us from the message of love and reconciliation, the message that Christ has brought to us.”
Johnson has become a staunch advocate for LGBT acceptance within Christian churches in the Odessa area. It’s led to a thorny conundrum — she’s tried sharing her story, but often leaves Bible studies and church services feeling she’s been merely placated. She’s at a point now where she can’t stomach anti-gay teaching from the pulpit and has left several churches in frustration. She says gay-welcoming churches in her part of the state are pretty much non-existent.
Johnson has lots of interesting opinions on trends in the modern church, especially with the anti-gay teaching that abounds in the Bible Belt.
She concedes there is a time, whether it’s in the political or religious realm, where it’s OK to respectfully agree to disagree.
“This whole idea of, ‘You have to see things my way,’ that’s never worked in politics, religion or anything else,” she says. “It never worked and it never will. But God gave me a big wake-up call and I would love for other people to not have to go through what I went through. That’s really why I wrote the book.”
She says it’s possible that churches with anti-gay teaching that seem to be thriving — even those led by household-name preachers like Rick Warren and Joel Osteen — might not be as blest as it appears.
“You can’t always assume that God’s blessing a church just because of the numbers,” she says. “People go to church for all sorts of reasons. And when these men have been put on the spot on national television and asked about gay issues and the whole Christian community is sort of collectively holding its breath waiting to hear what they say, they give the accepted answer, but I doubt very seriously that’s what they’re preaching from the pulpit or what they really feel in their hearts.”
But could so many religious teachers have been so wrong for so many years on gay issues? Johnson says yes.
“It’s happened since creation,” she says. “Anytime man gets involved, he manages to screw things up … Anytime there’s been a religious movement that gets started, it’s basically that person’s idea of who God is and what sin is. We tend to think we have all this figured out but you know what the Bible says about our own righteousness — it’s like filthy rags to God.”
But how does someone — especially a gay teen struggling with suicidal thoughts growing up in an Evangelical household — know whom to listen to? Aren’t there well-meaning Christians who simply believe homosexuality isn’t part of God’s plan?
Johnson says that’s where her biggest concern lies — she wants LGBT teens and young adults to have a chance to consider the possibility that their being gay isn’t the sinful curse many churches make it out to be. It’s the main reason she started her PFLAG chapter.
“I don’t have an easy answer for this but we have to have a place for kids to go and hear a different message. They’re not exposed to it at home, they have no place to hear a positive message, they’re in trouble and it has nothing to do with who they really are.”
With so many voices out there claiming to be spokesmen for God or claiming to have heard from God directly, Johnson admits absolute truth is “not always easy to discern.” She says she knows it’s God speaking when she feels compelled to go out of her comfort zone for the greater good.
“I usually know that if it’s contrary to the way I think, it’s usually God,” she says with a self-deprecating tone she uses often in the book. “I tend to line up with the other guy more often in my own thinking. But I can tell if I’m doing something for selfish reasons or whatever, it’s not of God. He does not let up. If it’s something I feel I’m supposed to do … I’m usually thinking, ‘Don’t make me do this.’ You have to learn to set aside the voice of past teaching, past thinking. … For everyone it’s different, but I feel when it’s truly God speaking, it’s a different thing and you know it.”
Arts & Entertainment
Teyana Taylor, Erin Doherty have big night at Golden Globes
“Heated Rivalry” stars Connor Storie and Hudson Williams among presenters
Honoring Tinseltown’s finest actors and actresses in film and television, the 83rd annual Golden Globes awards had a myriad of memorable LGBTQ moments from throughout the show.
The prestigious A-list event had first time winners like LGBTQ ally Teyana Taylor, taking home the award for Best Supporting Female Actor – Motion Picture for her mesmerizing portrayal of Perfidia Beverly Hills in “One Battle After Another.”
Addressing the audience she said: “To my brown sisters and little brown girls watching tonight, our softness is not a liability. Our depth is not too much. Our light does not need permission to shine. We belong in every room we walk into, our voices matter, and our dreams deserve space. Thank you so much, everybody.”
Another first-time winner was Rhea Seehorn, who won Best Female Actor in a Drama Series for her portrayal as Carol, a queer woman in the Apple TV+ series “Pluribus.”
Created by Vince Gilligan, known for“Breaking Bad”and “Better Call Saul,” Seehorn said it was important “to honor getting the chance to play anybody from the LGBTQ community,” adding that she loves that this is not “the remarkable thing” about Carol.
“It is part of who she is as a human being, and her relationship with her wife that she’s lost is given so much weight because it is a partnership of love,” she said backstage in the pressroom.
“Vince is not trying to make a political statement. He’s actually just trying to say something about being human and what real love is. And so, it makes me very proud that it just happens to be a queer woman.”
Also, lesbian actress Erin Doherty was thrilled to be a first-time winner, receiving the award for best performance by a female actor in a supporting role on television, for Netflix’s “Adolescence.”
“I didn’t want to assume, but I feel like we all know therapists,” Doherty said. “Life can be tough. Mental health is everything. Thank you to therapists, and it was an honor to play one.”
Doherty received the accolade from the stars of the gay Canadian hockey series, “Heated Rivalry,” Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie. Experiencing an overnight success, the dynamic duo were first time attendees and presenters at the Globes.
In a fun comedy bit, Storrie, who was pretending to be shy on stage, said: “It’s a little nerve-wracking here, being at our first Golden Globes!” Williams replied: “Just take a deep breath and picture everyone in the audience … you know,” referring to the idea that in order to get over stage fright, you have to picture the audience with no clothes on.
“I don’t really know if that works since everyone’s seen us … you know,” Storrie quipped. Williams then asked if he thought everyone in the Hilton Ballroom had seen their show.
Storrie replied, “That’s a maybe, but their trainers have and their moms have and their daughters have!”
“Rivalry” is based on the gay romance book series by Rachel Reid called “Game Changers.” Earlier in the week, the Washington Blade caught up with Williams, who said it was “truly a dream come true” to be at the Globes. “I had no idea the show would be received so warmly, it has made my heart happy.”
Another phenomenon that won at the Globes was Netflix’s hit animated film, “KPop Demon Hunters,” which received three Golden Globe nominations, including best animated film, cinematic and box office achievement and best original song for “Golden,” with gay co-songwriter Mark Sonnenblick.
A controversial moment in the show was when presenter/comedian/LGBTQ activist Wanda Sykes presented the award for best stand-up comedy performance on TV. “Shoutout to the Golden Globes for having me. You know there’s some people pissed off that a queer Black woman is up here doing the job of two mediocre white guys.”
As she made jokes about each of the nominees, Sykes had a few terse words to say to Ricky Gervais, who was not present. The British comedian got in trouble for his jokes about the transgender community in his 2022 Netflix special.
“I love you for not being here. If you win, I get to accept the award on your behalf, and you’re going to thank God and the trans community.”
While Gervais did win for his stand-up comedy special, “Mortality.” Sykes had a swift reply, asking Taylor if she could borrow her (acceptance) speech.
“Because [Ricky] would like to thank God and the trans community.”
Photos
PHOTOS: ‘ICE Out For Good’ Sunday protests
Northern Virginia demonstrations among nationwide protest
“ICE Out For Good” demonstrations were held in the Northern Virginia municipalities of Haymarket, Annandale and Arlington, among others, on Sunday, Jan. 12.
Nearly 1,200 similar actions were scheduled nationwide over the weekend, according to a statement from organizers.
Demonstrations in D.C. against ICE included a protest march on Friday and a march around the White House on Saturday.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
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Theater
Ford’s ‘First Look’ festival showcases three new productions
A chance to enjoy historical dramas for free before they’re completed
The Ford’s Theatre Legacy Commissions: A First Look – 2026
Jan. 16 & 17
Ford’s Theatre
511 Tenth St., N.W.
FREE
Fords.org
When Ford’s Theatre debuted its new plays festival, “A First Look,” in 2023, it was unclear whether people would come for the staged readings.
“Before the pandemic if you announced the reading of a play, 12 people might show up,” says José Carrasquillo, director of artistic programming at Ford’s Theatre. “Since then, we’ve experienced comparatively massive turnout. Maybe because it’s cheap, or because of the very newness of the works.”
This year’s fourth edition showcases readings of three pieces currently in varied stages of development. The free, two-day festival offers audiences a chance to encounter historical dramas long before they’re completed and fully produced. None are finished, nor have they been read publicly. And befitting the venue’s provenance, the works are steeped in history.
The festival kicks off with “Springs” by playwright Jeanne Sakata and directed by Jessica Kubzansky. Commissioned by The Ford’s Theatre Legacy Commissions, it’s the both epic and personal story of Sakata’s Japanese American family including her grandfather’s experience in an internment camp.
“Sakata’s immigrant grandfather was an exceptionally skilled farmer who helped to stave off starvation in the camp. Still, he never gave up on the idea that he belonged in America. It’s very much a story of today,” says Carrasquillo.
Unlike “Springs,” the festival’s two other works weren’t commissioned by Ford’s. But they both fit the history brief and likely will benefit from the exposure and workshopping.
“Providence Spring,” by California based playwright Richard Helesen and directed by Holly Twyford, portrays Clara Barton (played by local favorite Erin Weaver) as a hero beyond the Red Cross whose then-radical initiatives included cataloguing the Civil War dead, many pulled from mass graves.
Directed by Reginald L. Douglas, “Young John Lewis: Prodigy of Protest” explores a slice from the life of the legendary civil rights activist and longtime congressman. With book and lyrics by Psalmayene 24 and music by Kokayi this collaboratively staged reading between Ford’s and Mosaic Theater is slated to premiere fully produced at Mosaic as a 90-minute musical in the spring of 2026.
“When I was hired at Ford’s in 2018, we began discussing hiring writers who do historical drama,” says Carrasquillo. “Our intention was resolute, but we didn’t do it right away. It took getting through the pandemic to revisit the idea.”
At the same time, the racial reckoning spurred Ford’s to hire playwrights of color to tell stories that had previously been forgotten or ignored.
For Carrasquillo, who is gay, the impulse to commission was crystalized when he saw the film “Hidden Figures,” a true story about “three brilliant African-American women — at NASA during the Space Race, overcoming racial and gender discrimination to make crucial contributions to America’s spaceflight success.” He says, “the film floored me. How many stories like this are there that we don’t know about?”
One of the festival’s happiest experiences, he adds, was the commission of playwright Chess Jakobs’s “The American Five” and its subsequent success. It’s the story of Martin Luther King Jr. and his inner circle, including Bayard Rustin (MLK’s brilliant, unsung gay adviser) leading up to the 1963 March on Washington. The play later premiered fully produced in Ford’s 2025 season.
Increasingly, the readings at Ford’s have become popular with both artists and audiences.
At Ford’s, Carrasquillo wears many hats. In addition to selecting plays and organizing workshops, he serves as an in-house dramaturg for some of the nascent works. But he’s not alone. Also helming the festival are senior artistic advisor Sheldon Epps, and The Ford’s Theatre Legacy Commissions advisor Sydné Mahone.
Because the plays are in development, comments from directors, dramaturgs, and the audience are considered and may become part of the playwrights’ rewrites and changes. If and when the play resurfaces fully produced, audience members might find their suggestion in the completed work.
Is this year’s festival queer influenced? Yes, both by those involved and the topics explored.
Carrasquillo explains, “While Sakata’s “Springs” is primarily about immigration, its message is relevant to the queer community. Civil rights are being taken away from us. We need this playwright’s story to know what has happened and what can happen to any of us.
“Many of Ford’s legacy commissions underscore the importance of civil rights in our country and that’s important to all of us. Queer and not queer.”
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