Arts & Entertainment
‘This is a very big deal’
Obama, NAACP announcements infuse Black Pride festivities with celebratory flair
Change is in the air and prominent local black LGBT activists say its effects will be palpable at this weekend’s Black Pride festivities.
It’s debatable what led to the timing of President Obama’s announced change of heart on same-sex marriage — he told ABC’s Robin Roberts in a May 9 interview that he “think(s) same-sex couples should be able to get married,” an unprecedented statement for a sitting U.S. president — but whether it was the timing of the North Carolina amendment to ban same-sex marriage, Vice President Joe Biden’s shockingly unbridled comments the weekend before on “Meet the Press” or just the final stop on his self-proclaimed “evolution” on the issue, the announcement came as a shock to many, especially since it’s an election year. But the comments and the subsequent announcement by the NAACP of its endorsement of same-sex marriage make for a radically altered climate for D.C. Black Pride and several other piggy-backing black LGBT events happening this weekend.
Local black activists and promoters say almost universally it’s an exciting turn of events.
“It made me very happy,” says Kenya Hutton, a Black Pride board member. “Being the first American president to do so is very important.”
“I was absolutely elated,” says Linda McAllister, owner of D.C. lesbian bar Lace. “It’s a very historic moment … It’s unbelievable. I could not have been more pleased.”
“My first reaction was, ‘Yes, thank God he did it,’” says lesbian event promoter Ebone Bell. “It was like, ‘Thank you,’ for the first time in history we have a president who stood up for the right thing.”
Others say the announcement itself was not such a shock, so much as the timing of it.
“My initial thoughts were ones of astonishment that a sitting president up for reelection would come out so strongly in support, that’s the first thing,” says lesbian Khadijah Tribble. “Then I thought, yes, this is the man we all got behind as a staunch supporter of LGBT rights, so I was not surprised on one level but I just didn’t expect this timing at all.”
Sharon Lettman-Hicks, who prefers the term “sister of the movement” to straight ally (she’s married to a man but is also executive director of the LGBT rights group National Black Justice Coalition), agrees.
“I was extremely proud,” she says. “I was in shock and awe, but also just extremely proud that he would do this in such a polarizing political climate, but he was willing to step outside of the world of politics and really put human dignity first.”
And although the announcement has no legislative impact — marriage in the U.S. continues to be largely a state issue — many locals the Blade spoke to for this piece say it’s still a watershed moment because it’s giving straight black Americans a forum in which to discuss the LGBT people in the community.
The announcement has many angles — the fact that Obama, as the first U.S. president of color, is the first sitting president to make such an unequivocal statement is one thing. But it’s perhaps doubly significant that Obama is black since many African-American Baptist ministers preach anti-gay theology. White U.S. clergy do as well, of course. Just this week, the YouTube-posted video of North Carolina minister Charles Worley advocating putting gays and lesbians in an electrified pen like cattle until they starve to death went viral. But there’s perhaps a vociferousness to the rhetoric in black America that is often a bit different.
“It’s going to take a while to digest the issue but the big thing is that people are talking about it now,” says Earl Fowlkes, president of the Federation of Black Prides and also a long-time board member for D.C. Black Pride. “To have a black president talking about gay issues and same-sex marriage, these things are largely unspoken of in the black community, which is pretty much where the straight white community was 10 years ago. But when the president speaks and you have an organization as well respected as the NAACP, where half the chapter presidents are church people and they’re saying, ‘What’s the big deal?,’ it allows activists like myself to step forward and gives us ammunition.”
Several interesting points come up in these conversations — Tribble says that growing up in the South, black LGBT people were largely accepted as long as they abided by an unwritten “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”-type social policy.
“There were a lot of LGBT people growing up that although technically they were closeted, we all knew it,” she says. “They were still accepted within the church, they were still at the family cookouts, this is Aunt so-and-so and the aunt’s best friend who’s always with her. They came to everything and really weren’t treated any differently, but we just didn’t name it or talk about it even though they still had a place in the African-American community.”
Sheila Alexander-Reid says Obama’s announcement gives straight black Americans a catalyst to finally talk about LGBT issues.
“This way they can say, ‘What do you think about what Obama said,’ not, ‘What do you think about Johnny or Suzie?,” she says. “These are conversations that are long overdue. A lot of these people are very entrenched in their homophobia.”
Lettman-Hicks says black straight Americans aren’t so much squeamish about LGBT issues as they are uncomfortable with any talk of sexuality.
“It’s not an LGBT issue, it’s a sexuality issue in which LGBT issues fall under that,” she says. “If you want to have an intelligent debate about black people, you have to understand black people and black sexuality … so many discount the challenges that our community has faced. We were beaten, raped, brought here and sold as slaves, there’s a level of indignity that we faced as an oppressed people so in many ways we’re having the wrong conversation. Black America needs to have a robust conversation about human sexuality in general.”
She says, though, that Obama and the NAACP’s positions are excellent jumping-off points for those discussions.
But what about Obama’s reelection odds — will the LGBT support he picks up offset straight black Americans who may jump ship?
“I think it will help him overall,” says SaVanna Wanzer, a transgender activist and Whitman-Walker Health board member. “Number one, because it was the right thing to do. I think he will lose some support, yes, but the people who want human interests and civil rights first will still be on his side.”
“There will be some who back off, but no one in my family in Alabama is not going to vote for him because of this issue, I’m sure,” Tribble says. “Even the ones who tell me I’m going to hell, they still think I’m going to hell, but they won’t back away from Obama just because of this.”
Others say that while Obama’s statements are to be celebrated, the black LGBT community in D.C. spends too much time worrying about marriage rights when it has more pressing issues — transgender health, homelessness, HIV/AIDS, drug abuse and more — that should be on the front burner.
“I usually refrain from commenting,” says Earline Budd, a long-time advocate for disadvantaged transgender D.C. residents. “Day in and day out, like right here just now in my office, I have a 21-year-old HIV-positive person with a major infection. I just don’t have time to think about marriage. I do believe those who are out there on the front lines in the marriage battles, that we need that, but it’s just not on my agenda at this time … This whole thing with HIV, which is affecting more and more young people all the time, is much more pressing.”
Wanzer agrees.
“I’m thankful for his support, but there are much more pressing needs, especially with the transgender community,” she says.
Even so, many expect the Black Pride festivities to have an increased excitement and energy this year because of recent events.
“I know Eleanor [Holmes Norton] will be commenting on it, the mayor will be commenting on it, there’s definitely going to be a huge acknowledgement about this at Black Pride,” Fowlkes says. “Every time I’m at the mic, I’ll say something about it. What you’re really doing is giving people permission to celebrate it … we’re going to be making that acknowledgement at all our events so people can clap and feel happy because this is a very big deal.”
Black Pride, related events abound this weekend
Today (Friday)
An opening reception is held for Leandrea Gilliam this evening at 6:30 at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.). Gilliam is the care advocacy program manager of the Sexual Minority Youth Assistance League and a Wellmore Cook Community Service Awardee. Admission to this event is free. For details, go to dcblackpride.org.
Author of “King Peggy,” Peggielene Bartels, signs copies of her book tonight at 7:30 at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.). The book is about Bartels’ journey to becoming king of the African village Otuam in Ghana. The book costs $25. Proceeds will go to the nonprofit organization, Otuam Community Development Corp. Find more information at dcblackpride.org.
RainbowConnects is hosting speed dating in the Yellowstone/Everglades Room at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.) tonight at 7. Admission is free. For details, visit dcblackpride.org.
“She’Baltimore,” a play written and directed by Ira Kip, opens at Warehouse Theater (1071 7th St., N.W.) tonight at 8. Admission is $25. For more information, email [email protected] or go to dcblackpride.org.
The 5000 Men Pride Mega Party featuring Ashanti is tonight at FUR Night Club (33 Patterson St., N.E.). Doors open at 10. Cover charge ranges $20-$50. For more information, visit omegapartydc.net.
Saturday, May 26
Representatives from Capital One Bank will be on-site at the Capital One Job Fair held from 11 a.m.-3 p.m. in the Olympic Room at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.). The event is free. For details, visit dcblackpride.org.
Angela Harvey presents “The Key to the Perfect Orgasm” today at 12:30 at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.) in Congressional Room A. Admission is free. For more information, visit dcblackpride.org.
New York Life Job Fair is held in the Sequoia Room at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.) today from 12:30-3 p.m. The event is free. For details, visit dcblackpride.org.
A film festival is being held at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.) from 2-5 p.m. The films that are playing include “Change,” “Finding Me: Truth” and “Taboo Yardies.” Admission is $15. For details, visit dcblackpride.org.
Terry W. Sidney is reading “The Four of Us” at the Mead Lab Theater (916 G St., N.W.) today at 2 p.m. Admission is $20. For more information visit beyonddarkcorners.com or dcblackpride.org.
Chocolate City Pride hosts the Tropical Heat Rooftop Party today from 3-8 p.m. on top of the Ibiza Roof (1222 1st St., N.E.). The event will include free food. Admission is $10. For more information, visit omegapartydc.net.
Buttafly Soul is hosting a Poetry Slam today from 5-8 p.m. at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.). Admission is $15. For details, visit dcblackpride.org.
Black Men’s Xchange D.C. presents Revelation tonight at 7 at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.). The panel discussion will be moderated by the reality T.V. star Karamo Brown. For details, visit dcblackpride.org.
Layla Lounge (501 Morse St., N.E.) hosts the annual Manhunt Party tonight from 9 p.m.-3 a.m. Passes are on sale at omegapartydc.net.
A soul train dance party is being held at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.) tonight from 10 p.m.-1 a.m. The event features DJ Mandrill. Admission is $15. For details visit dcblackpride.org.
Lace Nightclub (2214 Rhode Island Ave., N.E.) hosts Insomniac, the after-party tonight from 3:30-8 a.m. Complimentary breakfast will be provided. For details, visit omegapartydc.net.
Sunday, May 27
A faith service is today from 9-11 a.m. at the Hyatt Regency (400 New Jersey Ave., N.W.). The event is free. For more information, visit dcblackpride.org.
“It’s a Family Affair” is held at Francis-Stevens Educational Campus (23 & O St., N.W.) today from noon-6. Admission is free. For details, visit dcblackpride.org.
Island Inferno annual pool party takes place at Great Waves Water Park (4001 Eisenhower Ave., Alexandria, Va.) today at 3. There will be free food, cash bar and a body contest. For more information visit omegapartydc.net.
Klimex Mega Party is tonight at the Love Nightclub (1350 Okie St., N.E.) from 9 p.m.-4 a.m. Table reservations begin at $500. For details, visit omegapartydc.net.
Monday, May 28
Chocolate City Pride hosts a cookout at Fort Dupont Park (3600 F St., S.E.) today from noon to 5 p.m. For more information, visit omegapartydc.net.
Layla Lounge (501 Morse St., N.E.) hosts the Apocalypse party tonight from 9 p.m.- 2 a.m. Admission is $10. For details, visit omegapartydc.net.
— ERIN DURKIN
Friday, September 4
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant.This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Saturday, September 5
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Sunday, September 6
“Nellie’s DC Drag Brunch” will be at 12 p.m. at Nellie’s Sports Bar. Come get served like a queen by a queen. Join Sapphire Blue, Deja Diamond and their team of amazing drag performers for the most fun you’ll have all weekend. Tickets cost $58.51 and are available on Eventbrite.
Monday, September 7
Go Gay DC will host “Out in Rosslyn LGBTQ+ Community Social” at 6 p.m. at Hyatt Centric Arlington. We have been invited to visit Hyatt Centric Arlington, where we will gather in a reserved section of their lounge. Attendees will be greeted by members of the Go Gay DC Leadership Team & receive a name tag upon arrival. This event is ideal for meeting new folks, making new friends, community-building, or just to unwind and enjoy the atmosphere. Casual attire is perfectly fine. More details are available on Eventbrite.
Tuesday, September 8
Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so — by sharing struggles and victories the group allows those newly coming out and who have been out for a while to learn from others. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.
Trans Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is intended to provide an emotionally and physically safe space for trans people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email [email protected].
Wednesday, September 9
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
Thursday, September 10
The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breathwork and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.
Gloria Steinem, writer, activist, and a leading voice of the feminist movement in the 1970s, died on Wednesday in Manhattan. Her death was announced on Instagram by her official foundation, Gloria’s Foundation, which shared that Steinem “passed away peacefully at her home, surrounded by some of the many who loved her.” She was 92.
A leading figure and spokesperson for the second-wave feminist movement, running from the 1960s through the ’80s — the earlier women’s rights suffrage movement being considered the first — Gloria Steinem campaigned for workplace equality, equality in the home and reproductive freedom, seeing those struggles as inseparable from the wider causes of social and racial equality.
She also championed LGBTQ rights, supporting lesbian visibility within the larger women’s liberation movement, and standing in opposition to the idea that lesbians posed a “lavender menace” to the cause of feminism.
In her vision of the future, marriage equality was a given: “Lesbians or homosexuals will no longer be denied legally binding marriages, complete with mutual-support agreements and inheritance rights.”
GLAAD President Sarah Kate Ellis said in a statement following Steinem’s death: “Gloria Steinem was a trailblazing titan of civil rights whose vision for liberation bridged the movements for gender equality, bodily autonomy, and LGBTQ rights. She recognized that feminist progress is incomplete without full inclusion and stood as an ally to transgender people’s fight for equality. Gloria rejected rigid binaries, choosing instead to build bridges of empathy and coalition across all marginalized identities. Gloria’s life was a masterclass in coalition-building, courage, and unconditional empathy.”
Among her many trailblazing milestones, Steinem was widely known for co-founding the National Women’s Political Caucus in 1971 alongside foundational feminist figures Bella Abzug, Shirley Chisholm, Betty Friedan, Fannie Lou Hamer, LaDonna Harris, Mildred Jeffrey, and Jill Ruckelshaus.
The mandate: get women into political office and positions of power — “women who are committed to the causes of other women — not women who are going to just imitate the male politics as it has been practiced all these years complete with elitism, racism and prejudice against women,” she said, “but women who really care about their sisters and will work for social reform.”
“This is no simple reform. It really is a revolution.”
Liz Abzug, daughter of Bella Abzug, remembers Steinem as “a lifelong activist and a humanist with lots of love to give,” as well as “a very, very close and dear friend of my mother’s,” as the two “worked side by side to change the American landscape for women.”
“It’s hard for me and all of her other supporters and admirers to imagine a world without Gloria leading the charge and fighting for women’s rights and full gender equality,” Abzug shared.
Indeed, there was much about that American landscape in need of change. Steinem came up during a time when discrimination against women was the legal and societal norm.
A married woman, for instance, often required her husband’s signature to obtain a credit card, a form of gender discrimination remedied in 1974 with the Equal Credit Opportunity Act. Women were often unable to get jobs. Life turned Steinem down, saying “We don’t want a pretty girl, we want a writer. Get out of here.” If women did land a job, in 1973, they would have likely made 56.6 cents to every dollar that men earned.
The law’s failure to support women’s autonomy was especially visible on the matter of reproductive rights.
For many women in America, legal abortion remained unavailable until 1973, when Roe v. Wade established a constitutional right to abortion nationwide. Steinem spent years speaking out for women’s safety, and promoted the idea that “decision-making power over our own physical selves” was intertwined with equal regard for women as citizens.
“The vast majority of women support safe and legal abortion. My response is if those legislators were half women, this wouldn’t happen,” she said in a 2022 interview with Katie Couric. “If we actually had a democracy, if those legislators looked like the country from a gender, racial, and class perspective, this probably would not be happening…”
Gloria Marie Steinem was born on March 25, 1934, in Toledo, Ohio, the daughter of Leo and Ruth (Nuneviller) Steinem. Her father was an antiques salesman; her mother had worked for a newspaper before she got married, but suffered what was called at the time a “nervous breakdown” and spent time in an institution. Following a divorce, her mother was left largely in the care of 11-year-old Gloria Steinem in a house that has been described as infested by vermin.
“I didn’t go to school a full year until I was 11 or 12, so I lived in books. I really was an observer of life,” Steinem said in a 2011 interview.
After moving to D.C. to live with her older sister, Susanne, Steinem graduated from Western High School in 1952. She followed Susanne to Smith College where she studied government and wrote for the student newspaper, graduating in 1956.
Upon moving to New York in 1960, she worked for Help! magazine and wrote freelance for publications that included Life, Esquire, and Glamour. According to Smith College Libraries, she co-founded New York magazine in 1968 and served as political columnist until 1972. In the 1960s and ’70s, Steinem was active in causes that included United Farmworkers, Vietnam War Tax Protest, and Committee for the Legal Defense of Angela Davis. She also participated in the political campaigns of Adlai Stevenson, Robert Kennedy, Shirley Chisholm, and others.
Steinem is said to have found her way to the Women’s Movement in 1969, following an abortion “speak-out” meeting of the Redstockings. She was inspired to begin speaking to audiences across the country, alongside activist Dorothy Pitman Hughes, and later Florynce Kennedy and Margaret Sloan.
Among Steinem’s most enduring legacies, and still in publication today, is Ms. magazine, which she co-founded. Widely considered the first national American feminist magazine (and owned, operated, and written by women!), it first appeared as a preview insert in New York Magazine in December 1971 with a tagline, “The New Magazine for Women.” Ms. earned status as a full-on publication in July 1972 with a cover image depicting a modern pregnant Hindu goddess Kali holding a clock, skillet, typewriter, rake, mirror, telephone, steering wheel, and an iron.
Ms. is credited with raising cultural awareness on policy issues, like the Equal Rights Amendment, taking on taboo topics and putting women’s issues front and center.
Steinem’s long list of published work includes the 1983 bestselling book Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions, a collection of her Ms. articles and other pieces. The book includes the feminist’s essay on her undercover exposé of the Playboy Club, for which she donned bunny ears, collar, and bow to covertly report on working conditions for women.
In 1986, she published “Marilyn: Norma Jeane,” which explored the life of Marilyn Monroe and the idea of women as vulnerable and at the disposal of society — men in particular.
Steinem also wrote “Revolution from Within” (1992); “Moving Beyond Words” (1994); and “Doing Sixty & Seventy” (2006). She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2013 by President Barack Obama.
Steinem’s relationships over the years included Ted Sorensen, counselor to President John F. Kennedy; Stanley Pottinger, a Justice Department official; and publisher and real-estate businessman Mort Zuckerman. In 2000, she married South African businessman David Bale, who died in 2003.
Steinem was predeceased by her mother and her sister, Susanne Steinem Patch, who died in 2007. On multiple occasions, she spoke of a community that extended beyond birth family — people whom she chose, and who chose her.
“[Feminism is] about friends and sisters and community,” Steinem said in an interview with bell hooks. “The good part and the great part is that it’s about chosen family. We have each other’s backs and that is so precious.
In announcing Steinem’s passing, her foundation offered this reflection: “Gloria’s greatest gift was her ability to listen to others, to make others feel seen and heard. Her words, actions, and example gave people permission to be their truest selves. Gloria lived true to her independent spirit, always with curiosity and a great sense of humor.
“She spent her recent years doing the two things she loved most: being in community with others and writing … Gloria loved the tradition of lighting signal fires on hills to light the way to the other side of the mountain.”
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The mastery of love
The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner, but in Rehoboth Beach, he has a story entirely his own
The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner. In Rehoboth Beach, Del., he has a life — and a story — entirely his own.
My first time with Eric Anderson was hot — very hot. Before he arrived, I sat waiting, overthinking everything. When he finally appeared in a loose-fitting T-shirt and purple shorts, I understood why he attracts attention. Eric is the kind of man who changes the energy of a room simply by entering it.
After a quick hello, we got right to it. Techno pulsed through the room as Eric told me how to move, where to place my hands, when to breathe. My heart pounded. My muscles ached. I bent, twisted, and stretched while sweat ran down my back and burned my eyes. I didn’t bother wiping it away.
To be clear, Eric and I were not alone. Five other people were with us — and the yoga studio at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach was heated to 87 degrees.
“If you are always racing toward the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?” Eric asked, opening his power yoga class and inviting us to leave whatever had followed us through the door and surrender to the present. Surrender did not come easily. At 58, I’ve done enough yoga to know the difference between discomfort and imminent death. Halfway through Eric’s relentless flow, the distinction began to blur.
A playlist of techno and remixed pop — including “Live Like You Were Dying” — carried us from one demanding pose to the next. Eric moved among the mats with the energy of a nightclub DJ and the calm of someone who trusted our bodies to go further than our minds believed possible. Nearly an hour later, when the music softened and I collapsed onto my back in savasana, he laid a cool cloth across my forehead. I exhaled — relieved, and maybe a little disappointed, that my first time with Eric was over.
At the end of my mat, a handwritten note congratulated me on my first class and invited me back — a small benediction after the storm. Then Eric closed the class by repeating the question with which he’d opened. For a man whose relationship with actor and singer Billy Porter has drawn him unexpectedly into the public eye, it sounded less like a yoga mantra than a personal creed.
The next time I meet Eric, there is air conditioning and caffeine. We are at Starbucks, where I deliberately order the largest drinks available, as though volume alone might buy me more time. He chooses a matcha, and I order herbal tea. My heart is pounding again, faster than the soft rock drifting from the speakers above us. Although I’ve already spent more than an hour with Eric, I know almost nothing about the man I’m about to interview.
Neither, it seems, does anyone else.
Celebrity outlets offer a handful of biographical details: a Rehoboth Beach teacher and yoga instructor with a master’s degree from Columbia University. Gay publications have been less restrained. One introduced him as Billy Porter’s “total hot stud,” called him “a snacc,” and praised his ability to “rock a Speedo.” Queerty distilled Eric’s identity to five words: “Porter is dating a teacher.”
All of it tells me how the world sees him. None of it tells me who he is.
I know from our text exchanges that Eric is slammed for time. He is scheduled to travel to New York later that day and fly to WorldPride Amsterdam the following afternoon. Billy is among the headliners for the opening-night Unity Concert and is also slated to perform at the Wedding Party XXL alongside KI/KI, Bimini, and the Vengaboys. Eric still has to pack. This, I’m beginning to understand, is part of loving someone famous: there is almost always an itinerary, another city, and a specific time and place Billy needs to be. Even here, with two untouched drinks between us, the clock is ticking.

As soon as we sit down, I open my laptop, ready to get to work. My mind is focused on the list of questions I’ve prepared, and I’ve already anticipated the shape of most of his responses. Then I look up and see Eric sitting perfectly still, smiling, and taking in the moment. He hasn’t even taken a sip of his matcha yet.
I quietly close my laptop and breathe.
Within minutes, the interview softens into a conversation.
Eric earned a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Delaware and a master’s in public school leadership from Teachers College, Columbia University. He began his career teaching mathematics before moving into school administration, eventually serving as vice president of the Charter School of Wilmington and head of school at Sussex Academy. Today, he teaches mathematics and social studies in the Cape Henlopen School District. He also coaches soccer and leads yoga classes at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach.
His return to the classroom was deliberate. Eric knows some people assumed there must be a story behind his leaving administration—that he had done something wrong or that teaching represented a demotion.
“I want to make it clear that I went back to teaching by choice,” he says.
As a child, Eric played school. Teaching has always felt natural to him, less like an occupation than an expression of who he is. Administration was different.
“It felt like work,” he says. “It wasn’t where my passion was, and it didn’t bring me joy. Going back into the classroom was simply me choosing joy.”
The more Eric talks, the clearer it becomes that teaching is not merely a job but a vocation. His mother is white and his father is Black, and growing up biracial was not always easy. “I saw the best and the worst of both,” he tells me. Those experiences helped shape his desire to become a teacher — to be the kind of person who could make a meaningful difference in a young person’s life.
Just then, Eric glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with someone across the room. He waves and flashes what is quickly becoming his signature smile. My first thought is that someone has recognized him as Billy Porter’s partner.
I’m wrong. It’s one of his former students.
Inevitably, our conversation turns to love — and to Billy. I’ve made it clear that I’m here to write about Eric, not Billy Porter. But separating the two entirely would be as artificial as defining Eric only by their relationship. Billy is now an essential part of his story.
Eric met Billy at a Christmas party hosted by mutual friends who had been trying to introduce them all night. It wasn’t easy — the party was crowded, and the two men never quite crossed paths. Eric stayed for the afterparty, where a friend nudged him and nodded toward the room: Billy was looking his way. Romance never crossed his mind.
Eventually, they started talking. Eric has never had much patience for small talk, and he wasn’t interested in cataloging which celebrities Billy knew. He skipped it entirely and went straight for the deeper questions — what Billy believed, how he saw the world, what mattered to him. They ended up at the kitchen table, trading life philosophies until 5 a.m.
What struck Eric most wasn’t the conversation’s length. It was its depth. Billy wasn’t who he expected. Neither was the conversation. By the time the sun was coming up, Eric was less surprised that they’d talked all night than by how much, it turned out, they had in common.
They had dinner the following evening, and Billy invited Eric to spend the weekend with him in New York. There, Billy took him to see Nicole Scherzinger in “Sunset Boulevard.” Right before the show started, he casually introduced Eric to a friend named Katy. Back in their seats, Eric asked how Billy knew her.
“BITCH,” Billy replied, “that is Miss K-A-T-Y P-E-R-R-Y!”
For all the glamour surrounding their courtship, Eric describes the foundation of their relationship in decidedly spiritual terms. His favorite book is don Miguel Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love, which explores how fear, expectation, and the need for approval can distort relationships. Its philosophy closely resembles Eric’s own.
On the surface, Eric and Billy inhabit different worlds. Eric is a deeply spiritual teacher rooted in a small coastal Delaware town. Billy is a celebrated actor and performer whose larger-than-life persona commands stages around the world. But when I ask Eric how the relationship works, he doesn’t hesitate.
“I know that I can be my authentic self with him, and he can be his with me,” he says. “We love each other unconditionally.”
The words could sound rehearsed. Coming from Eric, they don’t.
The red carpets, famous faces, and international travel are not what matter most.
“It’s all about the people,” he explains. “I love Billy’s family and friends, and he loves mine.”
Authenticity surfaces repeatedly in our conversation — not as an abstract ideal, but as Eric’s determination to trust what feels right for him, even when other people may not understand it. I tell him about growing up in Pittsburgh and spending much of my life trying to fit the person I was into the person the world expected me to be. Eric listens intently, then pauses before responding.
“Fuck the system.”
It is blunt, funny, and entirely consistent with the man sitting across from me. Dating Billy may have dramatically increased the number of strangers who have opinions about Eric, but it hasn’t increased the number whose opinions matter to him. He is remarkably unconcerned with what people he doesn’t know think — or say — about him. The attention is new. His response to it is not.
For Eric, authenticity isn’t about asking the world for permission to be yourself. It’s about deciding that permission was never the world’s to give.
That instinct—to look inward rather than outward for permission — predates Billy.
Eric initially turned to yoga for a practical reason: he wanted to improve his physical performance on the soccer field. It didn’t take long for him to realize that something else was happening. Yoga was strengthening his body, but it was also grounding him.
Over time, the physical practice became inseparable from the mental one. The poses, the heat, even the strength required to hold his body in place became less important than learning how to quiet the noise around him, stay present, and listen to himself. The man who had pushed me through an hour of sweat and discomfort wasn’t simply teaching people how to move their bodies. He was asking them to practice something he had learned to do himself.
That sense of being grounded has become particularly important in a relationship that often requires two people to live very different lives. Eric is quick to point out that he and Billy have separate careers, separate ambitions, and goals entirely their own. Neither expects the other to abandon an individual life simply because they have chosen to build a relationship together.
When Billy left for London to star in “Cabaret,” distance became part of their routine. They FaceTimed every day, a practice they continue whenever they are apart.
“I tell Billy everything,” Eric says.
Being authentic with Billy doesn’t require the two men to become more alike. If anything, the opposite seems true. They are comfortable following their own career paths, living separate lives when circumstances require it, and giving each other the freedom to pursue what matters individually. Then they come back together — not because either has put his own life on hold, but because they have chosen to share those lives with each other.
When we finally look at the time, nearly 90 minutes have passed. Eric still needs to pack. New York is waiting, Amsterdam after that, and somewhere there is undoubtedly an itinerary telling Billy exactly where he needs to be and when.
But for a while, neither of us was racing toward the next moment.
We were fully inside the one we were in.
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