Opinions
‘October Mourning’ reflects on Shepard’s death
Lesbian author shaken by Wyo. student’s murder 14 years ago

Stories can be told in many ways. Two new works—one poetic, one academic—take strikingly different approaches to telling the stories of LGBT people and families.
The first is by Lesléa Newman, best known as the author of the groundbreaking children’s book “Heather Has Two Mommies.” Newman is also an award-winning poet, however, and served as the poet laureate of her hometown of Northampton, Mass. in 2008-2010. Her new work draws on her poetic skill, and, with its much more somber tone, is aimed at older audiences.
“October Mourning: Songs for Matthew Shepard” is a cycle of 68 poems that serve as reflections on the death of Matthew Shepard, the University of Wyoming student killed in a brutal gay-bashing in October 1998. Newman was scheduled to be the keynote speaker at the university’s Gay Awareness Week just a few days after the tragedy.
Despite being shaken by the event, Newman gave her talk, she writes in the afterward to her book, recognizing the Wyoming community’s need not for her exact words, but for her presence as an out, proud lesbian to show them such a life was possible.
Later, she reflected on the many people who had told her “I can’t imagine,” in response to the murder. Her poems, which she calls “a historical novel in verse,” are her attempt to imagine—not only because that is her job as a poet, she writes, but also because it is her job as a human. She explains, “Only if each of us imagines that what happened to Matthew Shepard could happen to any one of us will we be motivated to do something. And something must be done.”
The poems speak from a variety of imagined perspectives, including Matthew, his assailants, his parents, the mountain biker who first found him, the police officer who came next, the doctor who treated him, and the housekeeper at the hospital—but also the stars above, the deer found curled next to him, and the fence he was tied to, as well as less specific mothers, fathers, students, gay people and others who heard of the killing.
The lines are brief and haiku-like in their simplicity (a few are in actual haiku form), giving them a rawness and impact that might well be lost among more words. Newman’s slim volume reminds us why, even twelve years after Shepard’s death, his story still resonates.
The second new book takes a very different approach to LGBT lives. “Gay Dads: Transitions to Adoptive Parenthood,” by Dr. Abbie Goldberg, associate professor of psychology at Clark University in Massachusetts, and senior research fellow at the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, is an examination of gay couples before and just after they adopt children. While written in part for an academic audience, the book is nevertheless extremely accessible for lay readers. Gay dads (and prospective gay dads), as well as adoption providers, social workers, and lawyers, among others, will find much of value in it.
Goldberg’s previous book, “Lesbian and Gay Parents and Their Children,” took a broader look at LGBT families, and remains the best one-volume overview of research on the topic. In “Gay Dads,” however, she looks more in depth at a smaller segment of our community.
Goldberg conducted a study of 70 adoptive gay dads (35 couples) from across the country, interviewing them when they were seeking to adopt as well as several months after they had adopted. More than 80 percent were white and well educated (although over half had adopted trans racially). This is just a slice of our full community—but Goldberg recognizes the need for further work on gay dads of color and working-class gay men.
She starts by looking at the decision-making process that led the men to choose parenthood in general and adoption in particular. After that, she explores how adoptive parenthood—private, public, domestic, and international—affected the men’s relationships to each other, their families, friends and communities.
One major question she tries to answer is whether the men reinforced or resisted the “heteronormative” standard of two parents settling down with kids, often with the mother as a stay-at-home caregiver.
Goldberg found that variation among the men—and even within individuals—means we cannot simply split them into two groups. “Some men conformed to heteronormativity in some aspects of their lives and resisted it in others,” she writes. At the same time, even if they didn’t actively resist traditional ideas, “their very existence [as gay adoptive parents] poses a challenge to heteronormativity.”
The above two books may seem an unlikely pair. One is emotional verse; the other dispassionate research. Each, however, has its place in painting a fuller picture of LGBT people and our interactions with the world around us.
Dana Rudolph is the founder and publisher of Mombian (mombian.com), an award-winning blog and resource directory for LGBT parents.
Opinions
TRAITOR: Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent has blood on his hands
Nation’s highest-ranking gay public official is a MAGA sell out

It’s an odd dichotomy: President Trump appoints the highest-ranking openly gay government official in history in Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, yet he launches cruel attacks on transgender Americans.
Make no mistake: Those attacks are claiming lives. Trans people are killing themselves. I know of one trans person who died by suicide on Election Night, overwhelmed by fear of the incoming administration. Trump’s attacks have driven trans Americans and their families to flee the country and move to Canada, as the Blade has reported.
None of this is hypothetical or melodramatic. It’s real life and happening everywhere.
And so when Bessent was confirmed as Treasury Secretary, I wrote an op-ed urging him to educate Trump about the plight of trans Americans and the destructiveness of the attacks on the community. I waited 90 days for some sign that Bessent has a heart or at least a modicum of decency but sadly, I must report that he does not.
The attacks on the LGBTQ community under Trump keep coming. Last week’s news that the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is planning to retire the national 988 crisis lifeline for LGBTQ youth on Oct. 1 is just the latest evidence that this administration doesn’t just dislike us — they want us dead.
“Ending the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline’s LGBTQ+ youth specialized services will not just strip away access from millions of LGBTQ+ kids and teens — it will put their lives at risk,” Trevor Project CEO Jaymes Black said in a statement.
The service for LGBTQ youth has received 1.3 million calls, texts, or chats since its debut, with an average of 2,100 contacts per day in February.
Make no mistake: cutting this service will kill young LGBTQ people.
Just a couple of weeks earlier, Trump’s administration announced the Office of Infectious Disease and HIV/AIDS Policy would be gutted.
“In a matter of just a couple days, we are losing our nation’s ability to prevent HIV,” said HIV+Hepatitis Policy Institute Executive Director Carl Schmid.
And prior to that, Trump issued a series of executive orders targeting the trans community — restricting access to affirming healthcare, banning trans service members from the military, barring trans women and girls from playing sports, eliminating the “X” gender marker on passports, and barring students assigned male at birth from using women’s restrooms.
Let’s be very clear: When you deny someone the ability to use the bathroom, you deny their humanity.
So back to Scott Bessent, the billionaire hedge fund manager now running our economy into the ground. As many Trump protesters have noted: silence is complicity. And Bessent has been silent on all of these horrific attacks on trans Americans and their basic humanity. He is spineless and a traitor to the LGBTQ community.
Bessent runs the U.S. Treasury and reportedly has Trump’s ear on all matters related to the economy. He could easily push Trump in a better, more compassionate direction, yet there is no evidence he has done that.
“The LGBTQ+ community is counting on openly LGBTQ+ nominees like Scott Bessent to step up for the community,” said Human Rights Campaign President Kelley Robinson after the inauguration. Sadly, it’s become clear we cannot count on Bessent. As I wrote in January, Trump likes his queer people gay, white, cis, rich, and obedient.
Bessent has ignored the Blade’s interview requests. (And after this is published, I have no illusions he will change his mind.) The mainstream media, increasingly cowed by Trump, have failed to ask Bessent even the most basic questions about his views on trans equality and Trump’s attacks.
As a member of the LGBTQ community, Bessent has a responsibility to at least speak up on behalf of trans people who are suffering. But Republicans today have lost their spines. They genuflect before their Dear Leader, line their own pockets, and leave the rest of us to deal with the consequences.
The crisis is real. People are dying. Trans people especially are suffering. The rest of us must do what we can to mitigate that suffering and to speak out in defense of our trans friends.
Kevin Naff is editor of the Washington Blade. Reach him at [email protected].
Opinions
Congressional Equality Caucus should participate in WorldPride
Make bold statement about our commitment to LGBTQ rights

The Trump administration, by its actions, has already hurt WorldPride. By attacking trans people, they have gotten many nations to suggest to trans citizens they not come to the United States. Canada’s queer group has said it is advising its people not to come. It is sad in so many ways. But despite what the felon in the White House is doing, WorldPride will be a success. It can be a time to not only have fun, but to make a point to the administration and the world. What was the old saying, “We’re here, we’re queer, and we’re not going anywhere, so get used to it.” The LGBTQ community in the United States has made great strides since Stonewall in 1969, and there is no way we are going back into the closet.
One way we can make a strong statement is if every member of the Congressional Equality Caucus would come out and join hands with constituents from their state, who are coming to D.C. for WorldPride. Together, they can take a stand for equality. Together, they can make a statement about our country to the world; that the United States values and supports its LGBTQ community.
This year from May 17-June, we are anticipating huge crowds in Washington, D.C. for WorldPride. Let us together make sure they are all safe and that they have an exciting and fun time while here. But at the same time we should use this gathering to speak out, for our community here, and the LGBTQ community around the world.
We must show the felon in the White House, and his MAGA acolytes in Congress, and around the nation, all those who would keep us down, we can, and will, stand up for ourselves. We are only willing to move one way, and that is forward toward full equality. Many years ago, during the early fight for recognition of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, there was an event staged by the group ACT UP, called ‘hands around the White House.’ It is time to stage something like that again.
With all the attacks on the trans community, and as threats to the entire LGBTQ community continue, we need to stand together, and stay strong. We need to join with everyone else who is fighting back against the felon, and his Nazi sympathizing co-president, in the White House. To join in the demonstrations, fight back, and not fall for the distractions meant to take us from our goals. Those goals must include defeating every Republican in elections in 2025, and taking back Congress in 2026. I say every Republican, only because today there is no longer a rational Republican Party. That party has become a MAGA Party, or ‘Cult of Trump.’ That is sad, but it’s true. It is not up to Democrats, or independents, to change the Republican Party; it is up to us to ensure their defeat until they change themselves.
Until then we must work hard to elect Democrats across the nation. From school board, to county council, from statehouse to Congress. For the LGBTQ community that is the only way we will move forward on equality. It is the only way we can defeat those who want to ban books about our lives, and try to force us back in the closet. We must say a resounding NO to that.
We must vote for Democrats because history shows us, any other vote, a vote for a third party, helps Republicans win. The reality, like it or not, is today there are only two parties that can win a general election. Yes, in a few rare districts, a third party has won. But this is rare and let’s not take the chance of that happening if there isn’t a history in your state, or district, or community, where it happened in the past. Be smart! While you may not like everything the Democratic Party stands for, it has proven, its members stand for the rights of the LGBTQ community. The incredible progress since Stonewall has been because the Democratic Party has worked with the activists in our midst, to make that progress. Let’s not give up now and move backwards with the MAGA Party. Together, let’s retake our government, and continue to move forward until we have full equality. That must be the goal we join hands for, and pledge to work toward.
Peter Rosenstein is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist.

With legislation making it more difficult for transgender and gender non-conforming people to change their passports and other documents, it is now a race against the clock to change as many of them as possible.
Trans Maryland and Advocates for Trans Equality are among the groups that offer workshops and online resources.
Here’s how I did it in Maryland:
A letter from your primary care provider
The first thing you’ll need to get any of this rolling is a document from your primary care provider that shows proof of hormone therapy, gender incongruence, or both. In my experience, this is important to have prior to getting anything started because some states require some sort of proof in order to certify the change.
Some courts may need a therapist’s letter as well, but it depends on what state you live in. With this document, you’ll be able to bring it to the respective offices and it will give a valid reason for you to get your desired gender marker.
A court order
The next thing you will need is a court order that recognizes your gender identity. It is a precaution just to avoid any wasted time or confusion at any offices going forward. You will go to the circuit court website for what state/county you reside in and find a document that is a petition to change your gender. Here is an example from Maryland.
You will print that document and fill out the petition for your respective titles with or without a name change and take it to the Circuit Court. Some courts may require the appointment. There, you will present the petition and letter and pay a fee — Maryland’s fee is $165, however there are fee waivers for those that apply. After, you will wait some weeks for the court order to show up.
Social Security card
Unfortunately, as of January 2025, the Social Security Administration has ceased any gender changes in their system. As with the fight for passports reflecting the holder’s proper gender identity, the Human Rights Campaign and the American Civil Liberties Union may bring a case to regain access in the future.
Identity card/driver’s license
After getting your primary care letter and court order, make a standard appointment for Identification Services at the local DMV and bring the paperwork. Though the Maryland Court’s website says there is no need to get a court order to change any documents, the clerk at the Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration (Maryland’s DMV) stressed that I needed the updated Social Security card changed in order to get an updated ID.
I was able to get it changed prior to the Trump-Vance administration, however given the current circumstances, if there is any pushback from any clerk or official who say they require a Social Security card, very adamantly cite the official gov website if applicable, and use the court order, despite the fact you should not need one to get your ID updated.
Birth certificate
Should all have gone well with the ID, the last document to amend is the birth certificate.
Unfortunately, this may be the most difficult document that you are able to amend because it must be done within your home state and some states, such as Oklahoma, Florida, Tennessee, and Texas, have already banned altering birth certificates.
In D.C., where I changed my own, there have been no known issues or legislation passed for changing the name and gender marker on the document. You will search your state government websites for the vital records department, find a Gender Designation Application and fill out the necessary information. The D.C. application is here:
On D.C.’s application, you must sign the document in front of a notary in order for it to be valid. Several mail offices, such as UPS, offer notary services for relatively cheap. Upon getting the application notarized, you can bring all documents you have already updated along with the court order and primary care letter to an appointment at the vital records office. All the previous work done should make this fairly easy if you are in a state that hasn’t made heavy strides to halt the process.
All in all, with about a month of your time, about $300, and a state that supports your right to self-actualization, you should still be able to change most of your documents.
-
Books4 days ago
Chronicling disastrous effects of ‘conversion therapy’
-
U.S. Federal Courts4 days ago
Second federal lawsuit filed against White House passport policy
-
Opinions4 days ago
We must show up to WorldPride 2025 in D.C.
-
District of Columbia4 days ago
Ruby Corado sentencing postponed for third time