Arts & Entertainment
The delights of being different
Two new parenting books explore the gay dynamic in families
‘Far From the Tree’ explores how parents can celebrate the differences between themselves and their children. (Photo courtesy Penguin Group)
Most parents love their children, yet accepting and being supportive of offspring who differ from you is one of life’s toughest challenges.
Two provocative and moving new books about parenting, difference and identity are just out: “Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity” by Andrew Solomon and “Oddly Normal: One Family’s Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality” by John Schwartz.
Solomon, with his husband John is a parent, and Schwartz, who is straight, is the father of a 16-year-old gay son Joseph. The Blade talked with Schwartz by phone and interviewed Solomon before he spoke on Nov. 16 at Politics & Prose in Washington.
Schwartz, a national correspondent with The New York Times, and his wife Jeanne knew early on that their son Joseph was different from his older brother Sam. Joseph wanted nothing to do with Sam’s trucks. “Joe went for the dolls,” Schwartz writes. “As Jeanne recalled it, ‘Barbie never looked so fabulous.’”
As time went on, John and Jeanne Schwartz felt it likely that Joseph was gay. John and Jeanne Schwartz, who’d met in 1975 at age 18 at the University of Texas in Austin, were fine with Joseph’s sexual orientation.
“We were comfortable with Joseph being gay,” John Schwartz says. “We wanted to support him.”
Schwartz was happy when Joseph, then in the seventh grade, came out while they were eating sushi at dinner one night. Then, just as things seemed to be going well, there was trouble. Though he received support at home, the school wasn’t supportive of gay students, Schwartz says.
“Joseph is a quirky guy,” he says. “But the school put labels on him — from Asperger syndrome to depression. It wouldn’t acknowledge that being gay was a key way in which Joseph was different. We wanted the school to see Joe as a whole person. The schools in the New Jersey town where he lives are good. We’re happy with the teaching. But if these schools are good, what’s going on in other parts of the country?”
Angry at the way in which the boys talked about girls, Joseph taunted them. After the boys told the guidance counselor that Joseph’s taunts had made them uncomfortable, Joseph took an overdoes of pills. After hospitilization and months of therapy, Joseph recovered from his depression. Today, Joseph is involved in theater and other activities and finds support in his gay peers. His children’s story “Leo, The Oddly Normal Boy” is a touching ending to “Oddly Normal.”
“I thought parents were the obvious audience for the book,” Schwartz says, “but it’s had a delightful resonance. A 72-year-old man e-mailed me that he’d just come out and told his wife that he’s gay.”
Being normal only gets you so far, Schwartz says. “The things that make you different … are the things that make you interesting.”
Solomon, 49, knew he was different even before he could conceptualize his sexuality. He was unpopular at school because he was so unlike the other boys.
“I never traded a baseball card, but I did recount the plots of operas on the school bus,” he writes.
Today, Solomon and his husband John and their children, are a loving family. John biologically fathered two children for some lesbian friends in Minneapolis while Solomon has a 5-year-old daughter with a friend he knew in college and a son who lives with them full time they had with a surrogate.
Solomon used to worry that it would be difficult for children born into such a different type of household.
“But people are born into households with parents who are cruel or born into terrible poverty. Or they’re born into a whole variety of other challenges,” Solomon said, “I would like to think…that our household is one in which there is a great deal of love and that it will carry the day.”
“Far from the Tree” is a provocative study of difference and identity as well as an argument for acceptance of diversity. Solomon interviewed about 300 families who have raised offspring with differences from themselves. These parents had children who were deaf, dwarfs, autistic, schizophrenic, transgender, prodigies, had Down syndrome, were conceived in rape or became criminals.
There are vertical identities such as ethnicity, nationality or religiosity that are passed on from parents to their children, Solomon says. But there are horizontal identities such as being trans, gay or deaf that are usually not passed on from generation to generation, he says.
“Many parents will love children with horizontal identities, but they’ll have trouble accepting them,” Solomon says. “The tension between love and acceptance can be terrible.”
“Far From the Tree” grew out of an article he wrote in 1994 for the New York Times magazine on deaf culture. “When I began meeting deaf people, I was astonished by what a vital culture it was,” Solomon says. “I discovered that most deaf children were born to hearing parents, and that they frequently didn’t discover deaf culture until their adolescence.”
Solomon felt a connection between their stories and his story.
“As a gay person, it took me a long time to find my culture and all of it seemed so resonant,” he says.
Bars & Parties
Mixtape Sapphics hosts holiday party on Dec. 13
‘Sugar & Spice’ night planned for Saturday
Mixtape Sapphics will host “Sapphic Sugar & Spice: A Naughty-Nice Mixtape Holiday Party” on Saturday, Dec. 13 at 4 p.m. at Amsterdam Lounge.
This is a festive, grown holiday party for queer women and sapphics 35 and older at Revolt’s Christmas pop-up. There will be music, joy, and an optional White Elephant.
This is Mixtape Sapphics’ first-ever holiday party — a cozy, flirty, intentionally grounded night created just for queer women and sapphics 35+ who want real connection, festive joy, and a warm place to land at the end of the year.
Tickets start at $13.26 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.
Friday, December 12
“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 12 p.m. in person at the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s new location at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W. To RSVP, visit the DC Center’s website or email [email protected].
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar and Restaurant. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
Women in Their Twenties and Thirties will be at 8 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, go to Facebook.
Saturday, December 13
Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 12 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.
The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “Sunday Supper on Saturday” at 2 p.m. D.C.’s queer community will gather for good food, laughter, and community. For more information, email [email protected].
Sunday, December 14
SADBrunch will host “HokiSlay Drag Brunch” at 12 p.m. at Throw Social. This festive affair brings fierce performances, over-the-top holiday looks, and more sparkle than a tinsel explosion. Expect powerhouse lip-syncs, laughter, and cheer hotter than your spiked cocoa. Cake Pop will host the event. Tickets cost $28.52 and are available on Eventbrite.
Monday, December 15
“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).
Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.
Tuesday, December 16
Center Bi+ Roundtable will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is an opportunity for people to gather and discuss issues related to bisexuality or as Bi individuals in a private setting. Visit Facebook or Meetup for more information.
The DC Center for the LGBT Community will host “Self-Defense Class with Avi Rome” at 12:30 p.m. Rome is a proud member of the LGBTQ community and a full-time martial arts instructor with 25 years of teaching experience. He holds a Fifth Degree Black Belt in Jhoon Rhee Tae Kwon Do and is the director of the studio’s Adaptive Tae Kwon Do program for students with special needs. He has also run numerous self-defense workshops for various groups and situations. For more details, visit the center’s website.
Wednesday, December 17
Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.
Asexual and Aromantic Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a space where people who are questioning this aspect of their identity or those who identify as asexual and/or aromantic can come together, share stories and experiences, and discuss various topics. For more details, email [email protected].
Thursday, December 18
The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.
Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC Center’s website.
Egypt
Iran, Egypt object to playing in Seattle World Cup ‘Pride Match’
Game to take place on June 26
Iran and Egypt have objected to playing in a “Pride Match” that will take place in Seattle during the 2026 World Cup.
The Egyptian Football Association on Tuesday said it told FIFA Secretary General Mattias Grafström in a letter that “it categorically rejects holding any activities related to supporting (homosexuality) during the match between the Egyptian national team and Iran, scheduled to be held in Seattle, USA, on June 26, 2026, in the third round of the group stage of the 2026 World Cup.” Football Federation Islamic Republic of Iran President Mehdi Taj told ISNA, a semi-official Iranian news agency that both his country and Egypt “protested this issue.”
The 2026 World Cup will take place in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The draw took place at the Kennedy Center on Dec. 5.
Iran is among the handful of countries in which consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death.
The State Department’s 2023 human rights report notes that while Egyptian law “did not explicitly criminalize consensual same-sex sexual activity, authorities regularly arrested and prosecuted LGBTQI+ persons on charges including ‘debauchery,’ prostitution, and ‘violating family values.’” Egyptian authorities “also reportedly prosecuted LGBTQI+ individuals for ‘misuse of social media.’”
“This resulted in de facto criminalization of same-sex conduct and identity,” notes the report.
The 2024 human rights report the State Department released earlier this year did not include LGBTQ-specific references.
Soccer has ‘unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs’
The June 26 match between Iran and Egypt coincides with Seattle Pride. The Washington Post reported the Seattle FIFA World Cup 2026 Local Organizing Committee decided to hold the “Pride Match” before last week’s draw.
“As the Local Organizing Committee, SeattleFWC26’s role is to prepare our city to host the matches and manage the city experience outside of Seattle Stadium,” said SeattleFWC26 Vice President of Communications Hana Tadesse in a statement the committee sent to the Washington Blade on Wednesday. “SeattleFWC26 is moving forward as planned with our community programming outside the stadium during Pride weekend and throughout the tournament, partnering with LGBTQ+ leaders, artists, and business owners to elevate existing Pride celebrations across Washington.”
“Football has a unique power to unite people across borders, cultures, and beliefs,” added Tadeese. “The Pacific Northwest is home to one of the nation’s largest Iranian-American communities, a thriving Egyptian diaspora, and rich communities representing all nations we’re hosting in Seattle. We’re committed to ensuring all residents and visitors experience the warmth, respect, and dignity that defines our region.”
The 2034 World Cup will take place in Saudi Arabia.
Consensual same-sex sexual relations remain punishable by death in the country. The 2022 World Cup took place in neighboring Qatar, despite concerns over the country’s anti-LGBTQ rights record.
Choose U ambassadors share lived experiences with HIV, personal reflections, and insights
DOJ seeks to join lawsuit against Loudoun County over trans student in locker room
As house Democrats release Epstein photos, Garcia continues to demand DOJ transparency
Capital Pride announces change in date for 2026 D.C. Pride parade and festival
Reflecting on six years on the CAMP Rehoboth board
EXCLUSIVE: George Santos speaks out on prison, Trump pardon, and more
The harsh truth about HIV phobia in gay dating
Victory Institute honors transgender Spanish senator in D.C.
Kazakh Senate tables anti-LGBTQ propaganda bill
