Arts & Entertainment
The delights of being different
Two new parenting books explore the gay dynamic in families

‘Far From the Tree’ explores how parents can celebrate the differences between themselves and their children. (Photo courtesy Penguin Group)
Most parents love their children, yet accepting and being supportive of offspring who differ from you is one of life’s toughest challenges.
Two provocative and moving new books about parenting, difference and identity are just out: “Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity” by Andrew Solomon and “Oddly Normal: One Family’s Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality” by John Schwartz.
Solomon, with his husband John is a parent, and Schwartz, who is straight, is the father of a 16-year-old gay son Joseph. The Blade talked with Schwartz by phone and interviewed Solomon before he spoke on Nov. 16 at Politics & Prose in Washington.
Schwartz, a national correspondent with The New York Times, and his wife Jeanne knew early on that their son Joseph was different from his older brother Sam. Joseph wanted nothing to do with Sam’s trucks. “Joe went for the dolls,” Schwartz writes. “As Jeanne recalled it, ‘Barbie never looked so fabulous.’”
As time went on, John and Jeanne Schwartz felt it likely that Joseph was gay. John and Jeanne Schwartz, who’d met in 1975 at age 18 at the University of Texas in Austin, were fine with Joseph’s sexual orientation.
“We were comfortable with Joseph being gay,” John Schwartz says. “We wanted to support him.”
Schwartz was happy when Joseph, then in the seventh grade, came out while they were eating sushi at dinner one night. Then, just as things seemed to be going well, there was trouble. Though he received support at home, the school wasn’t supportive of gay students, Schwartz says.
“Joseph is a quirky guy,” he says. “But the school put labels on him — from Asperger syndrome to depression. It wouldn’t acknowledge that being gay was a key way in which Joseph was different. We wanted the school to see Joe as a whole person. The schools in the New Jersey town where he lives are good. We’re happy with the teaching. But if these schools are good, what’s going on in other parts of the country?”
Angry at the way in which the boys talked about girls, Joseph taunted them. After the boys told the guidance counselor that Joseph’s taunts had made them uncomfortable, Joseph took an overdoes of pills. After hospitilization and months of therapy, Joseph recovered from his depression. Today, Joseph is involved in theater and other activities and finds support in his gay peers. His children’s story “Leo, The Oddly Normal Boy” is a touching ending to “Oddly Normal.”
“I thought parents were the obvious audience for the book,” Schwartz says, “but it’s had a delightful resonance. A 72-year-old man e-mailed me that he’d just come out and told his wife that he’s gay.”
Being normal only gets you so far, Schwartz says. “The things that make you different … are the things that make you interesting.”
Solomon, 49, knew he was different even before he could conceptualize his sexuality. He was unpopular at school because he was so unlike the other boys.
“I never traded a baseball card, but I did recount the plots of operas on the school bus,” he writes.
Today, Solomon and his husband John and their children, are a loving family. John biologically fathered two children for some lesbian friends in Minneapolis while Solomon has a 5-year-old daughter with a friend he knew in college and a son who lives with them full time they had with a surrogate.
Solomon used to worry that it would be difficult for children born into such a different type of household.
“But people are born into households with parents who are cruel or born into terrible poverty. Or they’re born into a whole variety of other challenges,” Solomon said, “I would like to think…that our household is one in which there is a great deal of love and that it will carry the day.”
“Far from the Tree” is a provocative study of difference and identity as well as an argument for acceptance of diversity. Solomon interviewed about 300 families who have raised offspring with differences from themselves. These parents had children who were deaf, dwarfs, autistic, schizophrenic, transgender, prodigies, had Down syndrome, were conceived in rape or became criminals.
There are vertical identities such as ethnicity, nationality or religiosity that are passed on from parents to their children, Solomon says. But there are horizontal identities such as being trans, gay or deaf that are usually not passed on from generation to generation, he says.
“Many parents will love children with horizontal identities, but they’ll have trouble accepting them,” Solomon says. “The tension between love and acceptance can be terrible.”
“Far From the Tree” grew out of an article he wrote in 1994 for the New York Times magazine on deaf culture. “When I began meeting deaf people, I was astonished by what a vital culture it was,” Solomon says. “I discovered that most deaf children were born to hearing parents, and that they frequently didn’t discover deaf culture until their adolescence.”
Solomon felt a connection between their stories and his story.
“As a gay person, it took me a long time to find my culture and all of it seemed so resonant,” he says.
Movies
Sydney Sweeney embodies lesbian boxer in new film ‘Christy’
Christy Martin’s life story an inspirational tale of survival
For legendary professional boxer Christy Martin, never in a million years did she expect to see the riveting story of her rapid rise to fame onscreen.
“When somebody first contacted me about turning my life into a movie, I thought they were joking,” Martin said at a recent Golden Globes press event for her movie, “Christy.”
“I was so afraid that my life would be as I call it, Hollywoodized.”
Martin was put at ease once she saw how committed co-screenwriters Mirrah Foulkes, and Australian filmmaker David Michôd were to the material, and how relentless actress Sydney Sweeney was to accurately portray her.
“Mirrah was very fair to me and treated me great on the paper … I feel like this is the most powerful group that could ever come together to tell my story,” she acknowledged.
In “Christy,” viewers see Martin’s combative spirit, in her ongoing quest to win each fight. Under her demanding coach turned manager-husband Jim Martin (played by Ben Foster), Christy is fearless in the boxing ring, yet increasingly troubled as she deals with the pressure of her mother, sexual identity issues, drugs, and a physically abusive marriage that almost ended in death.
“It’s crazy to see anybody, but especially Syd, become me,” she told the Los Angeles Blade. “It’s overwhelming! A little much for a coal miner’s daughter from a small town in southern West Virginia.”
For Sweeney, who is also a producer on the film, playing the courageous lesbian boxer has been a life-changing experience. “This is the most important character I have ever played. It’s the most important story I have ever told or will tell. It’s an immense honor to bring her to life.”
To become Martin, Sweeney worked hard to absorb as much information on her as possible.
“I had the real Christy, and then I had years and years of interviews and fight footage and her book and her documentary on Netflix that I was able to pull from. I like to build books for my characters, to create their entire life, from the day they’re born until the first time you meet them onscreen. So just kind of filling out the entire puzzle of Christy here.”
Sweeney said the many scenes where Martin’s mom couldn’t accept she was gay were immensely challenging to be a part of.
“That was probably one of the hardest scenes for me,” Sweeney noted. “I have very supportive parents, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to not have your mom or dad to turn to ask for help or guidance or just need support. So it was a very difficult scene to process.”
Equally challenging was the rigorous process Sweeney went through in order to become Martin in the movie.
“It was a huge physical transformation for me. I trained for two-and-a-half months before we even started filming, and I put on 35 pounds for the role, so it was a big transformation.”
As difficult as it was to deal with a film that dives into domestic violence, Sweeney was able to shake the character off when she was done at the end of each day.
“I have a rule for myself where I don’t allow any of my own thoughts or memories into a character. So when the moment they call ‘cut,’ I’m back to being Syd, and I leave it all in the scene, and that’s the story that I’m telling. Otherwise I’m just me; so I go home when I’m me.”
Martin hopes that audiences leave the theater with a sense of faith.
“I think we showed a path of how to get out of any situation that you might be in. And also, it’s very important to be true to you. Sometimes that takes a while — it took me a little while — but I’m happy to be true to me. And that’s what we want; the whole story is about being who you are.”
Sweeney would love viewers to walk away and demand to be “Christy Strong.”
“I hope that they want to be kind and compassionate to others around them, and be that helping hand. Christy’s story is singular, and yet her story of triumph, survival and continuation, supports those who are in experiences of domestic violence behind closed doors. She is one of the great champions.”
Sweeney loves that Martin is also a great advocate of new boxing talent. “That spark of life is something that I think at the end of the day, ‘Christy’ is about– it’s the spark to keep going and be who you are proudly.”
Drag
Gottmik and Violet Chachki are bringing drag excellence across the country with ‘The Knockout Tour’
Tour ends in Nashville on Dec. 12
No conversation about legendary drag queens is complete without discussing Gottmik and Violet Chachki.
Audiences first met these iconic performers on “RuPaul’s Drag Race;” Violet sent waves throughout the fandom with her hard-fought victory during the show’s seventh installment, with her revolutionary style instantly cementing her as a truly historic ‘fashion queen.’ Gottmik, who had made waves in LA for years as a makeup artist before getting cast, was a fan-favorite finalist on season 13 before returning to raise money for Trans Lifeline during “All-Stars 9.” Both queens made headlines during their tenure on the show, but most of their hardcore fans know them for the jaw-dropping projects they took on afterward — often with one another. One of the most famous ‘Drag Duos’ today, whether it be hilarious podcasts or high-energy songs, these performers have remained constant collaborators amidst each other’s many individual ventures. Their careers are filled with so many legendary feats, but none are as ambitious as their latest international endeavor: “The Knockout Tour.”

Gottmik made time to speak with the Los Angeles Blade during one of his rare breaks before the next stop on their tour. He dug into tour life with his best friend and the death-defying stunts that fill each show, as well as what it means to bring such unique artistry to some of the most conservative counties across the country. Gottmik spoke about their ongoing mission of using this platform to inspire others to live as their most authentic selves — all while looking completely immaculate, of course!
“The second I was on ‘Drag Race,” we started touring together … and it just clicked!” said Gottmik, discussing how effortlessly he and Violet became best friends post-“Drag Race.” Fans have grown to adore their dynamic over the years, with the duo’s podcast “No Gorge” highlighting how each’s biting fashion sense and deep appreciation for the most niche gay slang make them such a perfect friendship match. It’s why, despite many people warning them against taking on such a big professional opportunity with a friend, it was never a question that the pair would do this tour together. “[‘The Knockout Tour’] works because, no matter how we get there, we have the same end goal: pushing the needle forward in the Drag space, breaking down barriers, and slaying together!”
“This is drag at an extremely high level,” Gottmik gushed when describing what fans can expect at a “Knockout” show. “We have multiple aerial [stunts], these crazy props that we’re climbing on, and it’s just so wild! It’s drag in a theatrical burlesque, rock and roll style that you’ve [never seen].” In many ways, this aesthetic is a perfect fusion of the pair; Violet is a premier burlesque performer specializing in aerial work, and Gottmik has always embodied a grunge-filled perfection in his trademark drag style. These queens are bombastic and dramatic in the best way, unabashedly showing off the unique flairs that make them some of the most distinct performers working today. It’s a pairing that inspires not only awe but a sense of effortless confidence — a confidence that Gottmik knows many of his fans need right now.
Hateful rhetoric has steadily grown across the U.S. in recent years, with certain areas becoming hotbeds of the conservative discrimination that Gottmik has always faced as a transgender man (the performer uses he/him pronouns when out of drag and she/her when in drag.) Despite this, Gottmik emphasized that it was never a question that their tour would stop in these areas — in fact, they made a point to. “We are two queer entertainers with a platform, and it’s important that we visit [those places] and share our stories and inspire people in towns who don’t get to see shows like this … to inspire them to be themselves.”
Gottmik is especially passionate about using his platform for good because he knows how much of his large fanbase is young trans kids, just like he once was. “The ones who are growing up and figuring themselves out, and then are looking at their TVs and [seeing] their government call them crazy … it’s important for me to use my platform to show them [representation] that I didn’t get to see in the media.” He clarified that, yes, audiences are going to come to the show and see a punk rock-and-roll Goddess oozing confidence onstage — but being that person didn’t come easy. It took years of self-discovery for Gottmik to recognize his transgender identity, and it was the love and support of a found queer family that helped him become the creative powerhouse audiences know him as now. Each “Knockout Tour” show brings audiences into this intimate journey, showcasing the incredible authenticity that Gottmik has spent years developing while reminding attendees that this is all possible in their own lives.

Throughout the interview, Gottmik painted a riveting image of “The Knockout Tour” — the shows themselves, and the queer community who made it all possible. He detailed the shocking stunts fans will see onstage, the incredible music he and Violet perform each show, and the years of hard work that created these two performers that so many fans love. At the root of it all, though, is representation.
A representation of not only Violet and Gottmik’s many talents, though of course these queens’ immense expertise is the bedrock of this entire tour. But the vital image of two queer people who refuse to dull themselves just because others said they should. Of a transgender artist who stands proudly in the face of discrimination and who uses his art to inspire others to do the same. “We’re [showing] the whole world that we’re not going anywhere, and you can’t change us,” explained Gottmik, as the interview came to an end. “We create an amazing queer safe space that is really special for so many people … and it’s just really cool that [we get] to create that space for everyone every [show].” It’s a kind of space that’s hard to come by nowadays. And it’s one that Gottmik and Violet Chachki are determined to bring to thousands of queer artists just like them internationally with this tour.
Dining
Spark Social House to start serving alcohol
D.C.’s only ‘LGBTQ alcohol-free bar’ changes course
Washington, D.C.’s only LGBTQ alcohol-free bar will lose that distinction in December: Spark Social House, located at the corner of 14th and U streets, N.W., will no longer serve only booze-free drinks.
Spark Social, as it is commonly known, received significant media attention and accolades when it debuted in March. Opening in the beating heart of the LGBTQ community’s social scene, its doors stand next to other popular nightlife establishments, including Crush, Bunker, District Eagle, and Revolt (which opened after Spark Social). All of those other bars serve alcohol.
Spark maintained a separate identity, creating a “third space” for sober guests or those who did not wish to spend their evening in an alcohol-forward space. Owner Nick Tsusaki, a former bartender, opened Spark Social to fill a gap he saw in queer nightlife establishments that centered drinking. Instead, Spark was intended to be a convening bar. By day, it has served coffee and tea as a café for remote workers, meetings, and catch-ups. In the evening, the bar hosts a wide array of events, with DJs, dancing, drag queens, speakers, open mic nights, and stand-up comedy, movie showings, among other events.
At the bar, it served cans, bottles, and craft cocktails, as well as “wellness drinks” or functional beverages like mushroom elixirs, Kava, and kombucha. All of these are currently non-alcoholic. Currently, in November, the bar is serving seasonal morning drinks like toasted almond and French Toast lattes, plus non-alcoholic cocktails like a “Hottie Hottie” with non-alcoholic spiced rum, lemon, and maple butter; plus a maple espresso “martini” without liquor, which includes mushroom tinctures.
Spark Social, even in its short time in existence, won “Best DC Coffee Shop” in the 2025 Washington Blade annual poll.
Nevertheless, in early November, the Spark owners and leadership team hosted a town hall to share updates and hear directly from the community about the next chapter for Spark.
According to the bar’s Instagram posts, the town hall reviewed the intent and purpose behind the bar: to create a queer third space where people can connect, create, and feel at home.”
“After eight months as a fully non-alcoholic bar, we’ve learned that sobriety exists on a spectrum and inclusion means offering choice.”
To that end, in December, Spark’s offerings will evolve. Instead of serving only drinks without alcohol, there will be a new “1 for 1” menu in which every cocktail comes in two versions: booze and boozeless. While alcohol will be served, the bar owners insist that they remain committed to maintaining its welcoming and relaxed vibe.
In a separate post, Spark wrote that “Although this was not our intent when we started the business, after 6 months of operations we’ve made the difficult decision to change our business model so that we can keep providing this space to the community.”
They acknowledged that this pivot might have “come as a surprise,” and offered to received feedback to ensure that the bar’s initial objective of being a unique space could continue.
Alcohol will only be served at the bar in the evenings during the week, and all day during the weekend.
Tsusaki spoke to the Blade about the changes and offered these statements:
“When we opened, the goal was to create a queer third space where people could spark a connection, spark creativity, spark an idea — especially for folks looking for an alternative to the typical drinking environment,” Tsusaki said. “From day one, Spark has been about the vibe — a place where you can just exist, feel at home, and be surrounded by community without pressure or pretense. After eight months as a fully non-alcoholic space, we learned a lot about what people actually want from spaces like this. Most folks exist somewhere on a spectrum of sobriety — some are fully sober, some are sober-curious, some drink occasionally. We realized that if our mission is to bring people together, inclusion has to mean options for everyone.
“We had to face the financial reality of running a small independent space in D.C. The city has been hit hard — especially with reduced spending and recent federal layoffs — and it’s made things tough for hospitality businesses like ours. Adding alcohol helps make Spark sustainable so we can keep doing what we do: building community, creating jobs, and keeping this space alive for the long haul.
“We’re using this moment to make the space even better — enclosing the back patio so it’s usable year-round, upgrading our DJ booth and sound system, and making a few design tweaks that better reflect the energy and creativity Spark has always had.”
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