It’s September 1998, and I’m at lunch with several other journalists and a grandmother. As I sip my Coke, I hear a friendly male voice. You can tell he’s smiling. “Time to shake hands now,” he says.

We’re at the Carter Center in Atlanta for a few days. The other reporters and I have received Rosalynn Carter Fellowships for Mental Health Journalism. The grandma sitting with us is former first lady Rosalynn Carter, and the man with the warm smile is former President Jimmy Carter. “As soon as we get on a plane,” Mrs. Carter says, “Jimmy walks down the aisles and shakes hands with everybody. He knows they want to say hi to him.”

Jimmy Carter died Dec. 29 in hospice care in Georgia. President Biden declared Thursday a National Day of Mourning and Carter’s funeral will take place at Washington National Cathedral that day. After the funeral, Carter and his family will return to Plains, Ga. to Maranatha Baptist Church for a private funeral and then to Carter’s private residence for interment.

Twenty-five years ago, we journos were at the Carter Center to meet with experts in mental health so we could report accurately on the issue.  

The fellowship program was founded in 1996 by Rosalynn Carter. Mrs. Carter, who died in 2023 at age 96, was no mere figurehead. She knew every detail about our fellowship projects. Heaven help us, if she’d caught us asleep at the switch.

It takes nothing away from Mrs. Carter to note how essential her personal and professional partnership with her husband Jimmy Carter was to her and her work.

Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter were married in 1946. The first thing that hit you when you saw them together was how deeply they loved each other. There was nothing sappy about how they were with each other.

One morning, President Carter ambled into the conference room before our session on stigma and mental health was about to begin. Kenneth W. Starr had just delivered his report on (then) President Bill Clinton’s alleged abuses and affair with Monica Lewinsky. Naturally, we, the reporters in the room, asked Jimmy Carter how he felt about Bill Clinton. We were committed to mental health journalism. But, a former president was there – standing by the wall.

President Carter didn’t seem to want to hold back. He said he didn’t think that highly of Bill Clinton. But, before he could go on to say more, Mrs. Carter gave him a look. The look you give your spouse after decades of loving togetherness. Especially, if you’re a political couple and your mate’s being grilled by scribes eager to make news. “I know,” Jimmy Carter said, smiling, to Rosalynn Carter, his most ardent supporter and astute critic, “I’m talking too much, darlin’. I’m leaving now.”

You could tell how proud President Carter was of Mrs. Carter. At lunch or dinner, you’d see him nodding approvingly at her when she spoke of her work. You could see it in how he teased her. “Rosalynn talks about mental health all the time,” Jimmy Carter said, with a laugh, one night, as he saw Mrs. Carter chatting with us about how the media reported on mental health.

What I most recall about Jimmy Carter is his generosity of spirit. “I beat Jerry Ford,” President Carter said, “but Rosalyn and I are good friends with the Fords now.”

He wasn’t using the word “friends” in the way politicos often do. The Carters and the Fords were friends who worked together on mental health and other issues.

I hadn’t yet come out as a lesbian when I was at the Carter Center. But I didn’t feel I had to remain closeted or silent about my (then) partner. Carter was, what today likely would be an oxymoron: a born-again Christian, who welcomed everyone.

The Carter Center, which the Carters founded after his presidency, is like a theme park, where, instead of standing in line for attractions, people work to resolve conflicts and eradicate diseases.

Thank you, President Carter for your work, humanity and being an LGBTQ ally. R.I.P., Jimmy Carter.

Kathi Wolfe, a writer and poet, was a regular contributor to the Blade. She wrote this tribute just before she passed away in June 2024.

LGBTQ Global originally published this commentary. The Washington Blade is republishing it with permission.

On Monday, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced he was stepping down as leader of the Liberal Party, and thus as prime minister as soon as the party chooses his replacement. There’s a lot to unpack about how we got here and what happens next, but it’s important to note exactly how transformative Justin Trudeau was on LGBTQ rights in Canada.

When Trudeau came to power in 2015, he was following nearly 10 years of rule under the Stephen Harper Conservatives. Harper’s Conservative Party was new force in Canadian politics, merging the old-school business-minded Progressive Conservative Party with the more radical and frequently explicitly bigoted Canadian Alliance/Reform Party. Harper was able to take advantage of Canada’s badly designed electoral system and fractured political left to win three elections with 36, 37, and 39 percent of the vote. Unbowed by the lack of majority electoral mandate, the Conservatives relished in forcing through their agenda without seeking support from other parties.

Harper immediately called a vote on repealing same-sex marriage, which had become national law only a year prior (the vote failed, which Harper’s defenders like to argue was the plan all along.) He immediately slashed funding to civil rights defenders who had won a string of court victories for LGBTQ people. Arts, culture, and tourism boards were warned they’d come under scrutiny if they funded queer groups and programs. The Conservatives blocked justice reforms like equalizing the age of consent and protecting transgender people in law.

After a decade of this shit, LGBTQ Canadians and progressives were exhausted and demoralized.

Trudeau swept into office in 2015 and set about immediately changing the tone. That first year was a lot of photo ops and press statements and Cabinet appointments designed to ensure that every marginalized community felt that they were represented in the new government. Trudeau even became the first prime minister to march in a Pride parade — something he did over and over in multiple cities.

Conservatives derisively called it all “virtue signaling” or and relentlessly told a certain segment of the electorate that they should be offended by it all.

But for the most part, the Trudeau government delivered, especially for LGBTQ people.

Two key reforms came about in its first term: An overhaul of the Criminal Code that removed a number of laws that were still used to target queer people, including a sodomy law that included a higher age of consent and a ban on gay sex if it involved more than two people. Also removed were several obscenity and bawdy house provisions that were used to harass queer communities.

The other was the trans rights bill, C-16, which included explicit protections for trans people in federal human rights law and included them as a protected class in the hate crime and hate speech provisions of the Criminal Code. It’s genuinely astounding in retrospect how much impact this bill had given how little it actually changed. Canadian courts had already ruled that trans people were generally protected under sex discrimination laws, and in any event, the federal human rights code doesn’t really cover much in Canada. The far more important provincial human rights codes had mostly been updated to include “gender identity” years before the federal code anyway.

But the passage of C-16 was also the launching pad for one of Canada’s most notorious far-right cranks, Jordan Peterson. An obviously disturbed and disgraced former university professor, Peterson gained a global following of anti-trans weirdos and incels by spreading lies about C-16. The community that formed around Peterson is now a core constituency of the Conservative Party under opposition leader Pierre Poilievre. Indeed, Peterson’s interview of Poilievre last week on YouTube was treated as some kind of Yalta Conference for cringey weirdos — and may be why Elon Musk took a sudden interest in Poilievre this week.

But that wasn’t all Trudeau delivered for the queer community.

The Trudeau government banned conversion therapy. It restored and expanded funding to civil rights groups, queer organizations, and the arts. It drafted and implemented a strategy to promote 2SLGBTQIA+ rights and inclusion across government (yeah, that the government’s official acronym.) It issued an historic apology, expungement, and compensation scheme for people who’d been convicted or fired from the public service under old anti-gay laws. It added an “X” gender option for federal ID (passports). It ended the ban on gay/bi blood, tissue, and semen donors.

Trudeau also guided Canada through an unprecedented series of global and national crises, including the COVID pandemic, the first Trump presidency, Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, an insurgency against the government (fully supported by the Conservatives), and a national reckoning with Canada’s shameful treatment of its Indigenous people.

But he was unable or unwilling to reckon with a series of major problems that have only been exacerbated by those crises: A soaring cost of living, a crumbling health care system, and a growing sense that nothing seems to “work” in Canada — from a post office that refuses to deliver packages, to parks that refuse to unlock their bathrooms, to criminals that go free because packed courts can’t hear their trials in time, to infrastructure and defense projects that drag on years beyond schedule and billions of dollars over budget.

The fact that most of these problems are under the jurisdiction of provinces that are almost entirely being mismanaged by Conservatives — sorry, the feds have to wear Canada Post — hasn’t blunted the people’s decision that Trudeau is to blame for every ill in Canada. Heck, that’s basically the Conservative slogan these days.

Trudeau probably should have stepped down a few months ago, to give the party a chance to choose a successor in an orderly fashion. Instead, he’s made himself a lame duck days before Trump takes office, threatening to annex Canada (and Greenland and Panama) through economic power, whatever the hell he means by any of that. The Liberal Party will soon announce rules for how a nationwide vote on the new leader will be held, and candidates are already jockeying into place. A new leader will have to be chosen by March 25, when parliament is recalled and the opposition is likely to force an early election, likely in mid-May.

According to current polls, the Liberal Party is cooked, and the Conservatives are poised to pull a near-sweep of parliament. Of course, it’s also possible that a leadership contest brings a fresh appealing face to the Liberals, and they’re able to recover some position ahead of the vote, whenever it is. Or Canadians will become concerned with the Conservative Party’s growing ties to Trump Republicans.

Poilievre, who cut his teeth in the Harper government as its most unscrupulous attack dog, is trying to position himself as the reasonable person who can unite and fix a fractured Canada. I have my doubts, given his entire public history. He’s also been notably palling around the worst anti-LGBTQ bigots in Canada and making vaguely threatening statements about banning trans women from bathrooms.

As Canadians get ready to head to the polls, it’s worth remembering what Conservatives do when they’re in power.

During the holidays, overindulging in alcohol and food is widely accepted. Throughout history, for as long as the holiday season has been celebrated in the United States, we are encouraged to have that extra drink or plate of food.  

Alcohol, for instance, is widely used in excess, and this has never changed. While our knowledge about moderation and the short and long-term health impacts of alcohol have changed for the better, most Americans face the obstacle of overindulgence during the holidays, deciding whether to avoid the temptation or go with the flow. 

There are countless reasons why alcohol is consumed in excess this time of year, and in many instances, people are encouraged to take part. Alcohol suppliers, liquor stores, bars, taverns, and restaurants tend to see an increase in alcohol sales. Alcohol advertising during the holidays is undoubtedly geared to play off of our emotions. 

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), nine in 10 Americans say that concerns such as not having enough money, missing loved ones, and family conflict cause stress this time of year. Financial concerns were the most common reason for stress, as 58% of U.S. adults say they spend too much money or do not have enough money to spend. 

Unfortunately, close to two in five adults who experience stress during the holiday season said they use harmful coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or drugs. It’s well documented that sexual and gender minorities have higher rates of substance misuse and substance use disorders. People in LGBTQ communities often face more stressful and anxious situations during the holidays with family, for example, and frequently turn to alcohol to cope. 

According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics (NCDAS), 22.5% of D.C. adults over 18 binge drink at least once per month. Binge-drinking adults in D.C. binge a median of 1.5 times monthly. The 25% most active drinkers binge 3.4 times per month. There is an average of 392 deaths in D.C. attributed to excessive alcohol use each year. 

Research gathered by The Trevor Project shows that more than half of LGBTQ youth used alcohol in the last year, including 47% of LGBTQ youth under the age of 21. The holiday season is a different experience for everyone, yet some individuals struggle more than others.  

The average person will admit that the holiday season is a pleasant and joyous time of year. However, many people struggle with addiction and mental health issues, and this becomes exacerbated because of the constant pressure to overindulge in holiday cheer and celebration. 

There are strategies and resources to help. For example, the D.C. LGBTQ+ Community Center offers crisis resources for everyday safety, connection, and emotional well being. Individuals can find information for emergency shelter and housing, basic needs, mental health, substance use, and victimization support. Alternatively, you can text or call 988, the crisis lifeline, to talk to someone.

Most LGBTQ individuals who are experiencing anxiety about the holiday season and visiting family and friends need someone who will listen to how they are feeling. 

During the holidays, pay attention to your feelings and develop a plan for when you are feeling stressed, sad, or lonely. Avoid alcohol and drugs; while this is easier said than done for some people, the holiday season presents challenges that can trigger the use of alcohol, for example. It’s wise to recognize these triggers and avoid alcohol.  

If you are struggling, focus on practicing self-care and remaining connected with your friends, family, or local community. Feelings can amplify for some people this time of year, making it necessary to support others. Attend your local faith community, support group, community centers, or local meet-ups. Most importantly, know when to seek help. This can be especially important for anyone already struggling with a substance use disorder or mental health issues. 

Don’t let the holidays become something you dread. While society tells us to indulge in certain things and throw care and caution to the wind, we can choose not to listen. Focus on the more authentic meanings of the holiday season and encourage others to do the same.

Nickolaus Hayes is a healthcare professional in the field of substance use and addiction recovery and is part of the editorial team at DRS. His primary focus is spreading awareness by educating individuals on the topics surrounding substance use.