Arts & Entertainment

No holds barred

Profane and profound gay author Dan Savage tells it like it is

Published

13 years ago

May 30, 2013

Terri Schlichenmeyer

‘American Savage’
By Dan Savage
Dutton
$26.95
301 pages

Dan Savage, American Savage, Gay News, Washington Blade

(Photo courtesy Dutton)

You can’t talk about it to anyone.

You’ve got this sticky issue, a little problem, a thing you need help with but you aren’t sure you can trust anybody. Your sister is a big-mouth, your mom won’t understand and your BFF, well … no.

You need help in the form of advice. You need it straight up, no bull, all honest. And when you read “American Savage,” the new memoir/advice book by Dan Savage, that’s what you get.

As a young boy growing up in Chicago, Dan Savage was steeped in Catholicism.

His father, a cop by profession, was an ordained permanent diaconate. His mother was a lay minister. Savage himself was an altar boy but when he realized he was gay and that the church had a few things to say about it (none positive), he left the fold.

Still, he says, “… I was never abused by a priest. I was saved by one” who came out to Savage’s mother to calm her fears for her son. And though the church “got sex wrong,” and though he’s an “agnosthatheist,” Savage says he “aches” for the loss of religious comfort.

But that’s not all he has on his mind in this book.

As the creator of Savage Love, a sex-and-relationship column (it runs locally in City Paper), Savage is fierce about making sure his readers get sensible advice. He says that cheating, for instance, isn’t OK except when it is. He advocates being monogamish, being GGG (good, giving, game), and being willing to at least try something before condemning it as “too kinky.”

Speaking of condemning, Savage takes on politicians, especially those who are right wing, conservative and Christian; in particular, he quotes evidence to dispute the anti-gay bigotry that often comes from that side of politics. As a married “different kind of fag” and the father of a teen who “came out … a few years ago — as straight,” Savage has a stake in quashing that kind of hate.

In this book, Savage also writes about adoption, Halloween (the straight people’s version of Pride parades), “basic civil rights protection,” God and respecting older gay men. As founder of the It Gets Better Project, he goes to bat for LGBT teens. He writes about sex, a certain politician’s “Google problem” and offers a challenge to those who believe being gay is a “choice.”

Want a book that’s going to make you say, “Heck, yes!” just about every third page? Yep, that pretty well describes “American Savage.”

It’ll be hard to remain seated while you’re reading, in fact, because Savage makes you want to stand and applaud at his common sense words. Savage rants — but he’s hilarious while he’s doing so, which will make you want to phone friends so you can share. He’s profound and profane, thoughtful and thought provoking, and his personal stories will bring tears to your eyes.

I truly enjoyed this book. I liked it for its truth, its snark and for its not-so-good-natured poking at politicos. I think you’ll like it too because “American Savage” is a book worth talking about.

Related Topics:American Savage Dan Savage

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Guest photographer

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Spark Social will host “Open Mic Night” on Thursday, Aug. 13 at 8 p.m. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Spark Social will host “Open Mic Night” on Thursday, Aug. 13 at 8 p.m.

Get ready to share your talent or just kick back and enjoy some great performances. This event is a fun, laid-back vibe where everyone’s welcome to take the stage. Sign-ups are first-come, first-served, but you can also DM Spark Social on Instagram to reserve a performance spot. Whether you’re a singer, poet, or comedian, this is your chance to get on stage and share your art. More details are available on Eventbrite.

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Calendar: July 31-August 6

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Published

11 hours ago

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Friday, July 31

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at DIK Bar. This is a chance to relax, make new friends, and enjoy happy hour specials at this classic retro venue. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, August 1

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday, August 2

“Black Gay Flea: Summer Kickback” will be at 12 p.m. at Wunder Garten. This is a space created to celebrate Black LGBTQ+ creatives, artists, makers, entrepreneurs, and the community that shows up for them. Come spend the afternoon shopping with local vendors, discovering new brands, supporting small businesses, and connecting with people from across the DMV. More details are on Eventbrite.

Monday, August 3

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

Tuesday, August 4

The DC Anti-Violence Project will host “Soul Centered” at 7 p.m. at Thurst Lounge. This is not a dating event in the traditional sense. It is a space to meet kindred spirits, future collaborators, mentors, friends, or maybe someone who reminds you of what’s possible. Romance may happen, but it’s not the expectation. For more details, visit DCAVP website.

Wednesday, August 5

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom upon request. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit thedccenter.org/careers.

Center Aging Women’s Social & Discussion Group will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older LGBTQ+ women can meet and socialize with one another. To register, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.

Thursday, August 6

The DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the Center. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245.

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This free weekly class is a combination of yoga, breath work and meditation that allows LGBTQ+ community members to continue their healing journey with somatic and mindfulness practices. For more details, visit the DC LGBTQ+ Community Center’s website.