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Months after court ruling, DOMA issues remain unresolved

Social Security, veterans benefits and family leave not flowing in non-marriage equality states

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Eric Holder, United States Department of Justice, gay news, Washington Blade, LGBT Pride
Eric Holder, United States Justice Department, Barack Obama Administration, Lincoln Memorial, the 50th Anniversary of the March on Washington, civil rights, gay news, Washington Blade

U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder has pledged to extend federal benefits to married gay couples to the furthest extent possible under the law. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Ever since the Supreme Court ruled against the Defense of Marriage Act last year, the Obama administration has been rolling out on a continual basis new federal benefits for married same-sex couples — but access to some benefits remains uncertain months after the decision.

While the administration has afforded a preponderance of the 1,138 federal benefits of marriage to same-sex couples, other benefits — including Social Security, veterans and family leave benefits — are still in limbo for those living in non-marriage equality states. For these benefits, federal policy looks to the place of residence, not the place of celebration, in determining whether a person is married.

The policy of the Obama administration has been to expand benefits to married same-sex couples to the furthest extend possible under the law following the court decision against DOMA. That position was formalized last week in a memo from U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder extending certain federal benefits under the purview of the Justice Department to married gay couples.

“It is the Department’s policy, to the extent federal law permits, to recognize lawful same-sex marriages as broadly as possible, and to recognize valid in the jurisdiction where the marriage was celebrated,” Holder writes.

Thus far, the administration has extended numerous benefits to married same-sex couples related to taxes, immigration, federal employee benefits, employer-provided pensions and, most recently, the ability to refuse to testify against a spouse in federal court — even if these couples live in non-marriage equality states. The Justice Department has also ceased enforcement of a provision in Title 38, which governs veterans benefits, that independently defines marriage in opposite-sex terms.

But things get dicier when it comes to other benefits where the law governing them looks to the state law where a couple resides, rather than the state law where the couple was married in determining whether a marriage is legitimate. Does the spirit of the Supreme Court ruling against DOMA mean that these portions of these laws should also not be enforced, or are they so far removed from the ruling they require a legislative fix?

One such issue is with Social Security benefits. Although the Social Security Administration is processing retirement and survivor benefits for same-sex couples living in marriage-equality states, for the time being, it’s placing applications on hold for married same-sex couples living in places that don’t their recognize their union.

Kia Anderson, a Social Security spokesperson, said work coordinated with the Justice Department is still underway to determine whether her agency can recognize these same-sex marriages for benefits purposes.

“We are working with the Department of Justice to develop and implement policy and processing instructions on this issue,” Anderson said. “However, we encourage people to apply right away for benefits, even if they aren’t sure they are eligible. Applying now will protect against the loss of any potential benefits.”

Yet another benefit on hold for married same-sex couples living in non-marriage equality states is veterans benefits, which include disability benefits, survivor benefits and joint burial at a veteran’s cemetery for the spouses of former service members. As with Social Security law, a portion of veterans’ law, 103(c) of Title 38, looks to state of residence, not the state of celebration, to determine whether a couple is married.

Genevieve Billia, a spokesperson for the Department of Veterans Affairs, said her department is still reviewing the issue of these benefits with the Justice Department.

“VA is working closely with the Department of Justice to develop guidance to process cases involving same-sex spousal benefits, and to implement necessary changes swiftly and smoothly in order to deliver the best services to all our nation’s veterans,” Billia said. “Our commitment to provide all veterans and their families with their earned care and benefits will continue to be our focus as VA implements the Supreme Court’s decision in Windsor, and the president’s direction on Title 38.”

The continued enforcement of 103(c) of Title 38 to discriminate against gay couples has been a cause for concern for U.S. senators. Last month, seven senators — led by Sen. Mark Udall (D-Colo.) — called on the Obama administration to stop enforcing the law in a way that blocks gay veterans in same-sex marriages from receiving spousal benefits.

Stephen Peters, president of the American Military Partner Association, called the issue “a top concern” among veterans belonging to the LGBT military group.

“While we understand it takes time to review existing policies and laws in light of the Windsor decision, for the sake of our veterans and their families, our hope is that the administration will take swift action in extending full and equal VA benefits no matter what state the veteran and their family live in,” Peters said. “These veterans have earned these benefits and there is no valid reason why they should continue to be denied them.”

The American Military Partner Association has launched an online petition calling on Holder to stop enforcing U.S. code governing veterans benefits in a way that discriminates against same-sex couples. According to the organization, a little more than 1,000 people had signed the petition as of Wednesday.

Ian Thompson, legislative representative for the American Civil Liberties Union, expressed confidence the administration would be able to come to a conclusion on these issues as it has done with other benefits in the aftermath of the DOMA ruling.

“Federal agencies have moved with commendable speed to extend recognition to married same-sex couples, and to do so in a way that recognizes that these marriages don’t dissolve when a couple crosses state lines,” Thompson said. “While more work remains, including with SSA and the VA, we are confident that these issues can be properly addressed.”

The Justice Department didn’t respond to the Blade’s request for comment on the pace with which these benefits are being rolled out or when these outstanding issues will be resolved.

Shin Inouye, a White House spokesperson, touted the administration’s work so far in implementing benefits as he acknowledged “some work remains.”

“Following the Supreme Court’s ruling in Windsor, the president directed the attorney general to work with the Cabinet to review federal law to ensure the decision and its implications for federal benefits and obligations are implemented swiftly and smoothly,” Inouye said. “That process is ongoing, and while some work remains, the administration has worked to affirm the principle that all couples who are legally married receive full and equal recognition, to the greatest extent possible under the law.”

Should the administration determine it must continue enforcing these laws, a legislative fix from Congress would be necessary to ensure these benefits can flow to gay couples. For the Social Security benefits, that would mean passage of the Social Security Equality Act, sponsored by Rep. Linda Sanchez in the House. For the veterans benefits, that would mean passage of the Charlie Morgan Act, sponsored by Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-N.H.) in the Senate.

The federal benefits of marriage across the board would be assured for married gay couples regardless of where they live after passage of the Respect for Marriage Act, which is sponsored by Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) in the House and Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) in the Senate.

A Senate Judiciary Committee aide told the Blade last year that a Senate hearing was in the works for fall 2013 on the legislation. Although the hearing never took place, a Senate aide told the Blade plans are still underway for a hearing.

“Chairman Leahy continues to push for timely and comprehensive implementation of the Windsor decision, including last week’s landmark announcement that the Justice Department will treat all lawfully married couples equally in federal legal matters,” the Leahy aide said. “Chairman Leahy is committed to taking discrimination out of our laws, and he is working to schedule a hearing and build support for the Respect for Marriage Act.”

Not all the outstanding issues in the aftermath of the DOMA ruling are related to law. Benefits are blocked from flowing to married same-sex couples in non-marriage equality states under the Family & Medical Leave Act not because of statute, but by regulation, which the administration could change at any time without action from Congress.

And that change is already taking place. Last last year, the Department of Labor announced it was changing the regulations for the Family & Medical Leave Act — along with regulations for a slew of other laws — to ensure those benefits flow to married same-sex couples living in non-marriage equality states. According to Thompson’s HR Compliance Expert, the change will be implemented in March.

Laura Fortman, principal deputy administrator of the Labor Department’s Wage & Hour Division, wrote about the proposed change in a little-noticed blog post at the time.

“No one should have to choose between succeeding at work and being a loving family caregiver,” Fortman said. “The FMLA’s protections help ensure that people have the opportunity to be both and our proposed rulemaking is an important step in ensuring the law keeps up with the needs of all families in this country.”

Rea Carey, executive director of the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, said her organization looks forward to the day when the DOMA decision is “fully implemented” by the federal government.

“Steady progress is being made and more is to come,” Carey said. “For example, we are working with the Department of Health and Human Services to ensure that health insurance plans offer coverage for same-sex spouses regardless of where they live. Big picture, we fully expect this landmark decision to continue to positively impact the lives of LGBT people and their families for years to come and in ways that we haven’t even imagined.”

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District of Columbia

Dr. Fauci receives Harvey Milk Award, reflects on legacy of love and public health

The legendary public health leader was honored by a D.C. LGBTQ synagogue for his lifetime of compassionate service and advocacy.

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Dr. Anthony Fauci (Washington Blade file photo by Lou Chibbaro, Jr.)

A buzz of anticipation filled Cafritz Hall on Wednesday evening. Though a few seats remained empty, the atmosphere suggested a pop star might be moments from taking the stage. But the spotlight wasn’t reserved for a chart-topping performer—it was focused on a different kind of icon.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the former director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), stepped forward to receive the Harvey Milk Chesed Award—an honor recognizing compassion, courage, and a lifetime of public service.

The Harvey Milk Chesed Award was established by Bet Mishpachah in 1998 in honor of civil rights leader Harvey Milk. Milk, a member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors and one of the first openly gay elected officials in the United States, was assassinated in 1978 following his public advocacy for LGBTQ rights. Bet Mishpachah gives out the award annually to an individual who has made “outstanding contributions to the LGBTQ+ and Jewish communities that exemplify the virtue of chesed, or ‘lovingkindness.’”

The program began promptly at 7 p.m. at Bet Mishpachah, Washington’s LGBTQ egalitarian synagogue, and featured a diverse lineup of speakers, including rabbis, physicians, professors, synagogue members, and past recipients of the Harvey Milk Chesed Award. While each speaker highlighted different facets of Dr. Fauci’s career – from his leadership during public health crises to his engagement with Jewish and LGBTQ communities- a unifying theme emerged: his unwavering commitment to doing what’s right, even in the face of political opposition, including from presidents.

Fauci, who was director of the NIAID from 1984 to 2022, was at the forefront of understanding and combating some of the deadliest diseases known to humanity, including tuberculosis, Zika, and HIV/AIDS. As the HIV/AIDS epidemic escalated and frustration with federal inaction mounted, Fauci took an unconventional step for a high-ranking public health official: He began engaging directly with the activists demanding change. That simple act of listening, he later explained, shaped his understanding of what patients truly needed — even when it meant defying the prevailing wisdom of the medical establishment.

“I developed long-term friendships with the activists,” Fauci said in a 2023 interview with PBS’ American Masters. “We were sort of like soldiers in the same war.”

This spirit of solidarity echoed throughout the night’s speakers, beginning with Barry Friedman, who delivered welcoming remarks to the crowd. Friedman began his introduction with a Hebrew phrase that, at first glance, might not seem to align with a man devoted to the rigor of medical science. But as he explained, it was a phrase Fauci exemplified.

“Lo tukhal l’hitaleim,” Friedman read from his notes, explaining that this message was hailed in his youth as the “11th commandment” by his mother. “You must not remain indifferent,” he translated.

Fauci, Friedman explained, remained steadfast in the principles of medicine while also showing deep compassion for those living with HIV and AIDS. He advocated for changes to drug trial protocols—convincing researchers to allow patients to “parallel track” experimental treatments, even when doing so went against past medical norms. This shift helped extend lives and alleviate symptoms in those most affected by the disease.

As the night continued, speaker after speaker reflected on the extraordinary achievements Fauci helped bring about—not just through scientific breakthroughs, but by listening to the people who were so often ignored. Fauci credited activists like Larry Kramer for ensuring the needs of HIV/AIDS patients could not be overlooked.

One of those speakers, Jeff Levi, an emeritus professor at the Milken Institute School of Public Health at George Washington University, former deputy director of the White House Office of National AIDS Policy, and a close friend of Fauci, led a panel discussion where the two expanded on stories from Fauci’s 2024 bestselling book “On Call: A Doctor’s Journey in Public Service.” During the panel, Fauci reflected on how his Jesuit Catholic upbringing helped shape a moral compass that transcended religious, cultural, and political boundaries in his public health work, and how he was able to navigate such a difficult time in medical history.

While it’s nearly impossible to calculate how many lives Fauci has helped save, the numbers point to an extraordinary legacy. Millions of LGBTQ people owe their survival in part to his efforts to understand how HIV spread, how it progressed, and how its symptoms could be mitigated. In addition, more than 25 million people worldwide- mostly in sub-Saharan Africa- have benefited from PEPFAR, the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, which Fauci played a key role in creating.

Following the panel, Fauci took questions from the audience, reflecting on both his legacy and the enduring power of public advocacy.

“The gay community wasn’t afraid to speak up in the 1980s,” he told one audience member, who asked about the parallels between HIV/AIDS and the COVID-19 pandemic, and what people could do now to offset some of the… less than factual ‘information’ being presented as truth from the Trump administration. “And we can’t be afraid to speak up now.”

When asked what message he hopes young LGBTQ doctors will take from his life’s work, Fauci paused, then offered a heartfelt answer. “I don’t want to sound too melodramatic, but we need to love each other.”

As the crowd filtered out of the hall and only a handful of Fauci admirers lingered in line for a signed book, the Blade caught up with the evening’s honoree. Asked how it felt to receive the Harvey Milk Chesed Award, Fauci’s response was characteristically humble.

“It was a terrific honor to be given an award by this community,” he said with a warm smile—an understated close to an evening that celebrated a lifetime of extraordinary impact.

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Comings & Goings

SC Nealy joins Equality Arlington board; Lee Ann Wilkinson Group scores another #1 ranking

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Lee Ann Wilkinson

The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at [email protected]

The Comings & Goings column also invites LGBTQ college students to share their successes with us. If you have been elected to a student government position, gotten an exciting internship, or are graduating and beginning your career with a great job, let us know so we can share your success. 

Congratulations to The Lee Ann Wilkinson Group, which retained its #1 ranking in sales production at Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Worldwide, for the second consecutive year. 

 “Last year when we achieved #1, I was truly shocked,” said Lee Ann Wilkinson. “I never thought our little piece of paradise here in southern Delaware could compete with the larger states and more expensive markets. Achieving this level of recognition on an international scale for a second year is surreal. I couldn’t be prouder of my dedicated team, whose hard work and commitment to exceptional service make achievements like this possible. We are fortunate to do what we love, and to see our efforts recognized at this level is an honor. It’s amazing to reflect on four decades of serving our clients, whose loyalty and support have made this journey so special.”

SC Nealy

Congratulations also to SC Nealy, LPC, on becoming a new board member of Equality Arlington. Nealy said, “I have always been passionate about creating more accessible and queer celebratory mental health care for the LGBTQIA2S+ community in the DMV area, and I’m excited to work with Equality Arlington to keep working toward that goal and many others for our community here.”

Nealy has more than 15 years in the mental health field. They are a queer, gender fluid psychotherapist, clinical supervisor, and group practice owner in Arlington, Va. Nealy operates a team of all gay and trans-identifying therapists with the focus of bringing clinicians with lived experiences to the queer community and their families. They also work locally and nationally to advocate for queer rights, accessible mental health care, and bringing more awareness to the needs of the queer community. Their upcoming book published by Bloomsbury Academics, “Healing Sacred Wounds,” focuses on providing a guide map for processing and exploring their experiences in religious or spiritual trauma. As a therapist, Nealy specializes in religious trauma, female and genderfluid-identifying couples counseling, mixed orientation marriages, complex-PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, interpersonal process group therapy, and non-faith based premarital counseling. In their personal life, they are a parent to two children, happily partnered, and write romance novels for fun. Nealy received the 2024 Humanitarian and Caring Person of the Year Award, Virginia Counselors Association. 

Nealy earned a bachelor’s degree with honors in psychology from Marymount University, a master’s in clinical and mental health counseling from Marymount; and a master’s in forensic psychology, also from Marymount.

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District of Columbia

Mayor joins ribbon-cutting for opening of D.C. LGBTQ seniors home

Mary’s House for Older Adults operates facility for 15 senior

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Mary’s House is located at 401 Anacostia Rd., S.E. in the city’s Fort Dupont neighborhood. (Washington Blade photo by Lou Chibbaro, Jr.)

Close to 100 people joined D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser, two members of the D.C. Council, and other city officials for a ribbon-cutting ceremony marking the official opening of Mary’s House for Older Adults, the city’s first home dedicated to LGBTQ seniors.

Located at 401 Anacostia Rd., S.E. in the city’s Fort Dupont neighborhood, the three-story house includes 15 single-occupancy residential units and more than 5,000 square feet of communal living space.

Imani Woody, the Mary’s House President, CEO, and founder, said construction of the new house, which is located on the site of the house she grew up in, was completed in January and residents began moving in in March. She said there is now a waiting list for those interested in living there.

Bowser and Woody were among nine city officials and community leaders who spoke at the event in a large outdoor courtyard behind the house that’s part of Mary’s House grounds.

“You are providing housing,” Bowser told Woody in her remarks at the event. “You are providing a solution to the epidemic of loneliness. You are providing a vehicle for Washingtonians to stay in Washington,” the mayor said. “And you are showing that a woman with an idea who cannot be stopped can deliver for D.C.”

Bowser called Mary’s House a model for senior housing that she said could be brought to other parts of the city.

Woody thanked the mayor and the D.C. Council for providing city funding to support Mary’s House.

“This house is amazing,” she told the gathering. “It houses 15 people. But the concept is more than 15 people,” she said. “This is a place for residents of Washington, D.C., LGBTQ+ same-gender-loving to have a safe space.” 

Among the others participating in the event were Japer Bowles, director of the  Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs, and D.C. Council members Robert White (D-At-Large) and Wendell Felder (D-Ward 7).

Felder, who noted that Mary’s House is located in Ward 7, which he represents, called the ward a “welcoming community” that absolutely has welcomed Mary’s House.

“Mary’s House represents more than just bricks and mortar,” he told the gathering. “It’s a testament to what we can achieve when we commit to justice, inclusion and community. It recognizes that our elders, especially those in the LGBTQ+ and same-gender-loving communities, in a diverse space that honors their full identity and provides not only shelter but affirmation and belonging.”

Woody said each of the 15 individual units or suites at Mary’s House includes a sleeping area, living room, bathroom, and kitchenette with a sink, microwave and refrigerator but no stove. The Mary’s House website says the shared communal areas of the house include a “fully equipped kitchen, separate dining area and living room.”

It says the communal area also includes a computer room, arts and crafts room, an exercise room, laundry facilities, community meeting space, a “tranquil quiet room for relaxation,” and an outdoor terrace with seating.

Woody points out that Mary’s House, which is a nonprofit operation, is not an assisted living facility.

The website statement adds, “Through health and wellness programs, connections to community services, and advocacy efforts, Mary’s House for Older Adults endeavors to ensure that all elders, regardless of identity, can enjoy fulfilling and secure lives in their golden years.”

Further information about Mary’s House, including the availability of space to live, can be obtained at MarysHouseDC.org or at 240-972-2500.

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