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2 memoirs show power of parenthood

Expanding our sense of what an LGBT family looks like

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parenthood, Pregnant Butch, gay news, Washington Blade
parenthood, Pregnant Butch, gay news, Washington Blade

(Image courtesy of Soft Skull Press)

Two new, very different memoirs continue to expand our sense of what an LGBT family looks like. One is the story of a lesbian mom struggling against her son’s anti-gay Catholic school while grappling with her relationship to the church and to her own mother. The other is about a butch lesbian and her experience being pregnant—the print version of a graphic novel first serialized online.

Michelle Theall’s “Teaching the Cat to Sit” (Gallery Books) is a beautifully crafted tale about the power—and pitfalls—of faith, family and love. Theall, the editor-in-chief of Alaska Magazine and an award-winning adventure and fitness writer, weaves the story of attempting to raise her son Catholic with the story of her own childhood and coming out. She deftly intertwines anecdotes that take us back to her childhood in Bible Belt Texas and forward to her life as a parent in Colorado, moving us through her Catholic upbringing, sexual abuse by a neighbor, coming out during college in the 1980s, meeting her now-partner Jill, and adopting their son.

The narrative begins in Colorado in 2009, when she and Jill are first sensing a reluctance from their priest to baptize their son. The boy also attends the Catholic school run by the same church, and the family has been welcomed by the school community. The priest, however, eventually warns them that he is reconsidering whether they can stay, since being gay goes against Catholic teaching.

Despite the insult, Theall hesitates to withdraw their son, knowing that it would hurt her strongly Catholic mother, who also suffers from depression. Theall has struggled her whole life for her mother’s acceptance, and their relationship nearly ended when Theall came out to her.

Through her story, she shows us the harm—to individuals as well as entire families—of a view of the world in which lesbian and gay people exist only as sinners and deviants. While she pulls no punches about the church’s hypocrisy and failings, her book is far from a condemnation of religion.

A. K. Summers’ “Pregnant Butch: Nine Long Months Spent in Drag” (Soft Skull Press) has an entirely different style and tone—irreverent and often caustic, with bold images that both capture the details of everyday life and exaggerate its incongruities. This is not a children’s comic. The tale, first serialized starting in 2011 at the Web comic collective site Act-i-vate, is semi-autobiographical, with the protagonist Teek standing in for Summers.

Summers grew up in California and Georgia, went to college in Ohio and Illinois, and now lives in Rhode Island. Trained as a printmaker, she is the creator of the comic zine Negativa: Chicago’s Astute Lezbo Fantasy Mag, as well as several short animated films.

She was adopted herself, which gave her “an emotional longing to experience a biological relationship to somebody,” she told me in an interview in 2011. Getting pregnant—often seen as the ultimate womanly act—took on different overtones when she did so as a butch woman, however. “Pregnant Butch,” she said, “is about my attempts to hold on to my butch self and also to allow myself to be transformed by the process [of pregnancy], and where that could occur and be positive.”

Summers explores what it means to be butch, the lack of positive role models, and how she and her partner negotiated their relationship and roles as they headed toward parenthood. She charts her changing interactions with friends and neighbors as they encountered the dissonance of her masculine gender expression and her pregnant belly.

Summers writes in her introduction that she thinks there has been a shift in the 10 years since she was pregnant. Young queers are now less likely to use the term “butch.” Nevertheless, Summers felt it was important to capture her experience, both to ”make the unseen visible” and to document a point in time before the enormous positive shift in public attitudes toward gay people in the last few years.

Dana Rudolph is the founder and publisher of Mombian, an award-winning blog and resource directory for LGBT parents.

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Bars & Parties

Impulse Group DC to host fundraiser

Giving Tuesday and Happy Hour held at Thurst Lounge

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Thurst Lounge (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

Impulse Group DC, a local advocacy organization, will host “Giving Tuesday and Happy Hour” on Tuesday, Dec. 2 at 6 p.m. at Thurst Lounge. 

This event is a special happy hour fundraiser filled with good vibes, great food, and community connection. DJ Obie will be on deck keeping the energy high while you enjoy tacos, cocktails, and the kind of atmosphere only Thurst can deliver.

A portion of every signature cocktail sold goes directly toward supporting Impulse Group D.C.’s work in sexual health, mental health, harm reduction, and social justice for the D.C. community.

Admission is free and more details are available on Eventbrite

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Calendar

Calendar: November 28-December 4

LGBTQ events in the days to come

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Friday, November 28

“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 12 p.m. in person at the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s new location at 1827 Wiltberger St., N.W. To RSVP, visit the DC Center’s website or email [email protected]

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Dupont Italian Kitchen Bar. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, November 29

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 12 p.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including allies, together for delicious food and conversation.  Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday, November 30

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Coffee and Conversation” at 12 p.m. at As You Are. Guests are encouraged to come and enjoy stimulating conversation. For more details, visit Eventbrite.

Monday, December 1

“Center Aging: Monday Coffee Klatch” will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more information, contact Adam ([email protected]).

“Soulfully Queer: LGBTQ+ Emotional Health and Spirituality Drop-In” will be at 3 p.m. at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. This group will meet weekly for eight weeks, providing a series of drop-in sessions designed to offer a safe, welcoming space for open and respectful conversation. Each session invites participants to explore themes of spirituality, identity, and belonging at their own pace, whether they attend regularly or drop in occasionally. For more details visit the DC Center’s website.

Tuesday, December 2 

Universal Pride Meeting will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group seeks to support, educate, empower, and create change for people with disabilities. Email [email protected] with any questions. 

Friends of Dorothy Cafe will host “Choose Our Blend” at 6 p.m. at Stardust Vintage & Gift. Guests are encouraged to come sip, sample, and vote on a lineup of custom coffee blends from Rustic Route Coffee Co., a DMV-based queer-owned roaster. Guests’ votes will help Rustic Route choose the café’s official signature roast. Event organizers will take donations, and more details are available on Eventbrite

Wednesday, December 3

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email [email protected] or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

Center Aging Women’s Social Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is a place where older LGBTQ women can meet and socialize with one another. There will be discussion, activities, and a chance for guests to share what they want future events to include. For more details, email [email protected]

Thursday, December 4

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5 p.m. if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email [email protected] or call 202-682-2245. 

Virtual Yoga Class will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.

API Queer Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for the Asian and Pacific Islander Queer Community. For more details, email [email protected].

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Theater

D.C. theater scene has something for everyone this holiday season

‘Nutcracker,’ ‘A Christmas Carol,’ and much more

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Michael Russotto in ‘A Christmas Carol: A Ghost Story of Christmas’ at Olney Theatre Center. (Photo by Teresa Castracane Photography)

With its familiar music, yuletide imagery, and storytelling, theater can be a big part of the holidays. Add to that making memories and theater tickets wrapped as presents under the tree, and it’s a seasonal no brainer.

Folger Theatre presents “Resplendent Joy: Christmas Traditions from Spain and Portugal” (Dec. 5-14); the marvelous Folger Consort will perform early Spanish Christmas carols and traditional holiday music from early modern Spain and Portugal: folger.edu/resplendent

At Round House Theatre, playwright Sam Holcroft’s “Rules for Living” (Dec. 3-Jan. 4) makes its U.S. premiere. The darkly funny holiday comedy was a hit in London and is now hoping to repeat that success with a version tailored for the states. The seven-person cast includes versatile actors Naomi Jacobson and real-life spouse John Lescault. Ryan Rillette directs. roundhousetheatre.org

Theatre J presents “Chanukah in the Dark” (Dec. 6-21), an hour-long play ideal for ages five and up. “When the lights go out during Chanukah, Max and family begin sharing songs, stories, and traditions — only to discover the lights they needed and the miracles they searched for were in their midst all along.”  edcjcc.org

The Cathedral Choral Society’s “Joy of Christmas” (Dec. 13-14) presents a wonderful program of carols and beloved holiday favorites at the festively decorated National Cathedral. The program features Seraph Brass, organist Edward Hewes, Carillonneur Edward M. Nassor, percussionist Mary La Blanc of “The President’s Own” U.S. Marine Band, and the Eastern Concert Choir from Eastern Senior High School. Cathedralchoralsociety.org 

With “The Holiday Show,” (Dec. 13, 14, and 20), the Gay Men’s Chorus returns to entertain audiences with its annual and most popular show. 

This year the holiday extravaganza is bigger than ever at historic Lincoln Theatre with new, soulful arrangements of favorite holiday carols: “The reindeer will be high-kicking and the snowflakes will sparkle. Songs include “O Holy Night,” “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,” “Let It Snow,” “We Wish You the Merriest,” and “Go Tell It on the Mountain.’” gmcw.org

At Olney’s intimate Mulitz-Gudelsky Theatre Lab, out actor Michael Russotto is back for the holiday season in his solo show “Christmas Carol: A Ghost Story of Christmas” (through Dec. 28). The talented Russotto portrays nearly 50 different characters from the Charles Dickens classic, that proves “funnier and far more relevant than you might imagine.” Olneytheatre.org

Also on holiday offer in the DMV are a jolly bunch of musical chestnuts as well as reliable Christmas crowd-pleasers.

Included on the roster is Olney Theatre’s production of Jerry Herman’s “Hello, Dolly!” (through Jan. 4) starring the mega-talented Nova Y. Payton. Based on the play “The Matchmaker” by famed gay playwright Thornton Wilder, the musical has proved a vehicle for many a diva including Carol Channing, Pearl Bailey, Bette Midler, and Barbra Streisand. Now Payton dons the mantle and the buzz is good.

Another beloved musical is “Fiddler on the Roof” (through Jan. 25), the story of Tevye, a poor Jewish milkman, his family and their tight-knit community who honor tradition while contending with pogroms in Czarist Russia. Currently being performed intimately in the round at Signature Theatre in Arlington and directed by Joe Calarco, the large cast features actors Douglas Sills, Chrisopher Bloch, and terrific out actor Jake Loewenthal as the poor tailor Motel Kamzoil, all singing Broadway favorites like “Sunrise, Sunset” “If I Were a Rich Man” and “Matchmaker.” sigtheatre.org  

At Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Harman Hall is Frank Loesser’s “Guys and Dolls” (through Jan. 4). Based on tales from famed American journalist Damon Runyon, the show focuses on two overlapping love stories set in Depression-era Times Square. The terrific score includes songs like “Luck Be a Lady,” “Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ the Boat,” “A Bushel and a Peck,” and more songs you’ll know. Directed by Francesca Zambello and choreographed by Joshua Bergasse. 

The cast includes Julie Benko, Lamont Brown, and Holly Twyford as General Matilda B. Cartwright, which is reason enough to buy a ticket. shakespearetheatre.org 

And for hardcore traditionalists there’s the Washington Ballet’s “The Nutcracker” (through Dec. 29) with its balletic magic at the charming gilded Warner Theatre. The beloved production of Tchaikovsky’s ballet, here set in 1882 Georgetown, features a retinue of agile partiers, children, soldiers, rats, and notable figures from American history.  washingtonballet.org

And last but hardly least, historic Ford’s Theatre presents “A Christmas Carol” (through Dec. 31), an enduring Washington tradition since I was youngish. Conceived by Michael Baron, this charming Dickens’ moneymaker again spotlights Craig Wallace as miserly Ebenezer Scrooge who after a night of ghostly visits, rediscovers Christmas joy. Fords.org

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