Living
College survival guide
Recent LGBT graduates share tips and tools to help you thrive on campus

Always remember the buck stops with you on personal matters. It’s OK to say no to coming out, to sex, to too much involvement or anything else during your college years.
Looking back on my four years as an undergraduate, I’m reminded of all the beautiful friends I met, the wonderful places I was lucky enough to go and the life-changing experiences I was able to have.
College is truly a time for individuals to grow, not only academically and professionally, but on an important personal level as well. As with all matters of life however, there is certainly a flux and flow of the good and the not so good.
Venturing into any unknown situation is intimidating. If you’re LGBT and about to start college, here are some suggestions from a few of us who were just there.
For starters, be sure to find a campus that you’re going to enjoy. A sense of belonging should be high on your college priority list. You do not want to enroll in a campus and then discover that parts of your identity are not welcomed or even celebrated. In this sense, it is perfectly OK to be selfish. Find a campus that you enjoy as much as it enjoys you. As a great resource, check out Campus Pride’s National Listing of LGBTQ-friendly colleges and universities at campusprideindex.org.
When to come out? If you do not feel that it’s the right time for you to come out during college, know that it’s your decision to make. Everyone has his or her own story and own time to tell it. Never feel pressured to come out. Do it at your own pace. Period.
“Honestly, I wish I had been told that I do not have to be out if I do not want to,” says Mariam, a 2015 graduate of the University of Michigan-Dearborn. “There was this huge emphasis on my campus for ‘Coming Out Day’ and it’s not always safe to.“
The only person capable enough to decide how many things you can take on in college is yourself. Do not stretch yourself too thin, too fast. Remember that you have four or more years to engage in everything you want to engage in. Take your time. Remember to balance your academic as well as your self care as priorities.
“Know your limits,” says Matthew, a 2015 Illinois State University graduate. “I always felt on the outside as a queer individual growing up, so when college came around I tried including myself in everything I could get my hands on. Pick a few things you love and rock out on them.”
On a similar note, do not forget that you are allowed to say “no.” Many people fall into a pattern of saying yes to everything that comes their way. This is a quick way to become overworked and even out of tune with yourself. Your college years are the time to experiment and get involved with as much as you can. However, if you’re not willing or able to, there’s a simple, one-word solution — no.
Sex: let’s get real. How honest would an article about college life be if it did not involve anything regarding sex? The answer: not that honest. Sex isn’t a priority for everyone and that’s perfectly fine. However, if you’re having sex then make sure you and your partner(s) are safe and comfortable. In terms of safe sex, many colleges and universities have departments or programs that provide safe-sex resources such as condoms (male and female), dental dams, lubrication, etc. In terms of comfortable sex, make sure that all parties in the encounter give their clear consent. Do not put yourself or someone else in a position that they do not feel ready for. Communication is key. Sex is great, but we have to be able to talk about it first.
Making healthy choices. LGBTQ college students face many challenges that impact their health and well-being on campus. Whether alcohol/substance use or healthy body image issues, there are specific ways these health concerns affect LGBTQ youth differently. Educate yourself and your campus community on the issues related to LGBTQ health and wellness by checking out Campus Pride’s Health and Wellness resources at CampusPride.org/resources
Fabulous, of course. Remember that while you may have amazing circles of support on your campus, parts of the world are still catching up to your fabulousness. When you’re searching for internships or post-graduate positions, do your research. Make sure you find an organization or company that is going to make you feel safe and welcome for all your identities.
“I wish that someone had given me advice on how and where to find employers and geographical locations that are LGBTQ-friendly,” Mariam says. “So looking for an after graduation-job would have been much easier, ya know? I wish that was something career offices made available on the regular: companies that are specifically LGBTQ-friendly.”
Take advantage of the resources your campus has to offer. Many universities have programs designed to help advance the wellness of students. Whether it be through a Career Center, Counseling Services, a Student Involvement Center, an Office of Diversity Advocacy, or even the Campus Recreation Center. Most of the services these departments will provide are of no cost to students. You already paid for much of these resources in your tuition, so take advantage of them.
“I wish someone would have prepped me for what the world feels like when you’re no longer directly protected by the resources and support of a university that provides for LGBTQ students,” says Roze, a University of Missouri-Kansas 2014 graduate.
Making friends outside your circle. Meet up and make friends with people from all walks of life. In doing so, you will be exposed to a rainbow of different ways to view and engage with the world. As this might be a scary thought at first, know that diversifying your experiences will only further your growth as a young adult. As LGBTQ individuals, it’s important to remember intersectionality and that those who may support us also need support in return.
“One thing no one told me is that it’s really easy to get involved in queer/trans issues even if you do not work for a QT organization,” says Kayla, a 2014 graduate of Texas A&M University. “There are all types of community organizations in big cities, college towns, medium-sized cities, etc., and they’re always looking for people. Also, if you’re looking to meet other QT folks, look for a meetup group (meetup.com) or create one if there’s not one in your area.”
Look for role models and mentors. In your search for support and friends, also aim your sights on finding a personal role model or mentor or even multiple. Sometimes it is easier for someone to know what they want in life by observing how others have engaged with the world. Mentors or role models are an incredible source of information and often much more experience in areas you may be interested in yourself.
“It is important to find a mentor,” says Matthew, a 2015 Illinois State University graduate. “I was so, so lucky to have many amazing mentors in college. Queer individuals should always have someone to ask questions of, lean on and be challenged by for growth.”
Selfie care: This is about more than taking time to snap a photo. One of the most important things to remember, not only in college but in all stages of your life, is self care. College can be incredibly busy and stressful at times. Remember that it is OK for you to take a step back and spend time on yourself if you need to. Constructive self-care time will better allow you to take on responsibilities as a student.
“Knowing what I know now about being a queer college student with one degree under my belt, I make a point of telling my students now that they are not alone, that their feelings are valid, and that they are already defying odds by being in college,” Roze says. “So if self care takes precedent over an assignment sometimes, there are always ways to improve your grade, but you have to improve yourself first.”
Why am I here? Never forget the reason you’re in higher education. Have goals and remember that you are there to graduate and receive an education. Sure, it’s easy to doze off and daydream during a long lecture. But what good are you doing yourself if you’re not paying attention to the material? Not only is it a waste of your money, but it is also a waste of your time and growth as a future activist.
“Education is a privilege and access to the language of theory is not something most people have,” says Megan, a 2015 graduate of Metropolitan State College of Denver. “If you cannot back up your theory with actions then what you are left with is a language without meaning. It’s not easy to reframe the way I talk about power and identity outside of academic circles, but I have realized that inaccessible language is a barrier to inclusive social justice.”
With these tools in your back pocket, my hope is that you’re ready to tackle higher education head on. There’s no such thing as too much advice, so don’t stop with this article. Be sure to reach out to those you may know who have experienced higher education for more tips and tools. Always remain proactive, get involved, but to also take time for yourself. Stay fine, fresh and fierce and enjoy every moment you can. These are the glory days.
Tyler Eilts is an alumnus of Illinois State University, where he is also seeking his master’s degree in interpersonal communication and women’s and gender studies. He is a 2015 summer fellow for Campus Pride.
Real Estate
With gas prices soaring again, a staycation is a good plan
Home can be your personal retreat and your own private resort
When airfare costs more than your monthly utility bill and a weekend road trip requires a second mortgage just to fill the gas tank, many homeowners are discovering an unexpected luxury: the staycation.
A staycation isn’t settling for less—it’s reaping the benefits of one of the biggest investments you can make: your home. Much more than a place to sleep, it’s your personal retreat, your gathering place and, with a little preparation, your very own private resort.
Whether you own a single-family home, a townhouse, or a condo, creating a memorable staycation starts with appreciating what made you fall in love with your property in the first place.
Start with a home refresh. Think about checking into a beautiful vacation rental. It’s spotless, organized, and inviting. You can recreate that same feeling by spending a day preparing your home before your staycation officially begins.
Clear away clutter, deep clean the bathrooms and kitchen, wash the windows, and put fresh linens on every bed – even if you’re not expecting guests. Fluff the pillows, light a favorite candle, and place fresh flowers on the table. These small touches instantly make your home feel more luxurious.
If your budget allows, hiring a professional cleaning service can be one of the best staycation perquisites you make. After all, vacation should begin the moment you wake up and not after you’ve spent the day scrubbing floors.
Treat your staycation like a real trip. Set away messages on your phone and out of office notices on your email. Skip unnecessary chores for a few days. Giving yourself permission to relax may be the most valuable part of the entire experience.
One of the greatest advantages homeowners have over travelers is private outdoor living space. Whether it’s a spacious backyard, a screened porch, a rooftop terrace, or a cozy condo balcony, these areas can become the centerpiece of your staycation.
Stringing lights and adding comfortable seating, colorful planters, and outdoor rugs can completely transform the atmosphere without spending thousands of dollars. Add a portable fire pit, a tabletop fountain, or a hammock, and suddenly your backyard starts competing with many resorts.
Host an evening cookout, organize a game night, invite neighbors over for dessert, or gather around the fire pit for conversation after sunset. These simple moments often become the memories we treasure most.
Inside, transform your family room into a home theater complete with popcorn and comfortable blankets. Turn your breakfast room into a morning coffee café. Designate a quiet reading corner where phones are prohibited. Create a spa-like bathroom with plush towels, candles, bath salts, and relaxing music.
One of the highlights of traveling is experiencing new food. Instead of dining out every night, create themed dinners inspired by your favorite destinations. Prepare homemade Italian pasta one evening, Caribbean grilled seafood another, or a backyard Texas barbecue over the weekend. For a touch of whimsy, dress the part.
Pair each meal with music and libations from the region and enjoy dinner outdoors whenever possible. Suddenly, your dining room becomes part of the vacation experience instead of just another place to eat.
Families with children can turn a staycation into an adventure by seeing their home through a child’s eyes. Set up a backyard camping experience with a tent, flashlights, and s’mores around the fire pit. Transform the living room into an indoor campground complete with sleeping bags and a movie under a blanket “fort.” Organize a backyard Olympics with relay races, water balloon tosses, scavenger hunts, or miniature golf using household items.
Encourage children to plan a family picnic in the backyard or on the patio, choose a theme for a movie marathon, or help prepare meals inspired by countries they’d like to visit someday. The goal is to create experiences your children will remember long after summer is over.
Enjoy the amenities you already pay for. Condominium communities and many planned neighborhoods offer amenities that residents often overlook.
Swimming pools, fitness centers, tennis and pickleball courts, walking trails, clubhouses, grilling stations, and community gardens are designed to enhance your lifestyle. During your staycation, make a point of exploring everything your community offers. You may discover you’ve been living beside your own private resort all along.
Real estate professionals often talk about resale value, appreciation, and return on investment. While those things certainly matter, there’s another return that’s harder to measure: the enjoyment you get from living in your home every day.
You don’t need a boarding pass to recharge. You don’t need a hotel reservation to make memories. Sometimes the perfect getaway is the one you already own.
Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her at [email protected] or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.
The latest Honda Civic hatchback and Subaru Impreza are two of the segment’s stars. Both offer sensible pricing, excellent utility and enough personality to avoid feeling like appliances.
The Civic is more polished. The Impreza, more rugged. Luckily, neither is trying to be obnoxiously flashy.
HONDA CIVIC
$28,000
MPG: 30 city/38 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.9 seconds
Cargo space: 24.5 cu. ft.
PROS: Fuel efficient. Spacious cargo area. Good resale value.
CONS: No all-wheel drive. Fussy infotainment. Low rear headroom.
WHAT’S NEW: Only minor updates for 2026. The biggest change carries over from last year’s refresh: the addition of the hybrid, which has become a star performer.
The Honda Civic hatchback won’t scream for attention. It won’t arrive wearing sequins and carrying a smoke machine. It’s more like Nomi Marks from “Sense8”: intelligent, sophisticated and impressively capable.
The styling remains handsome and clean. Long hood. Low roofline. Crisp lines everywhere.Honda resisted the urge to make this vehicle look like a spaceship or an angry robot. That’s refreshing.
Inside, the dashboard is simple and elegant. The honeycomb air-vent treatment remains one of the coolest interior details in the segment. Materials feel expensive. Controls are easy to understand. And visibility is excellent.
I love how the cargo space is generous, with rear seats that fold flat. A bicycle, several suitcases or enough supplies for an ambitious weekend road trip fit without much hassle.
Then there’s the hybrid. The system produces a healthy amount of power while delivering fuel economy that borders on the absurd. Around town, handling feels smooth, quiet and surprisingly quick. You almost glide through traffic. The standard gasoline engine isn’t bad, but the hybrid is stellar.
The Civic also shines on twisty roads. Steering is precise. Body motions stay controlled. The suspension strikes a sweet balance between comfort and sportiness.
Biggest weakness? No all-wheel drive. For drivers in snowy climates, that’s not so good.
Still, the Civic’s stellar combination of efficiency, quality, and driving enjoyment remains incredibly hard to beat.
SUBARU IMPREZA

$27,000
MPG: 27 city/33 highway
0 to 60 mph: 8.5 seconds
Cargo space: 20.4 cubic feet
PROS: All-wheel drive. User-friendly tech. Safety cred.
CONS: No hybrid version. Some road noise. Modest cargo room.
WHAT’S NEW: The Impreza receives relatively minor updates for 2026. Subaru continues refining this hatchback rather than reinventing it.
If the Honda Civic is urbane, the Subaru Impreza is unfussy. There’s a kind of Kristen Stewart energy here. Cool without trying too hard.
The styling isn’t dramatic, but it works. This hauler appears ready to tackle rain, snow, dirt roads or an impromptu weekend escape.
And all-wheel drive comes standard on every Impreza. (Most competitors only offer front-wheel drive or include all-wheel drive as a pricey option.)
The result: Slippery roads simply don’t create much anxiety. The suspension absorbs bumps nicely. Long trips are comfortable. Visibility is great, thanks to relatively thin roof pillars and large windows.
I like how the cabin is functional rather than fancy. Materials don’t quite match the Civic’s upscale vibe, but everything feels sturdy. A large infotainment screen dominates the dashboard and generally works well, though some drivers may prefer more physical buttons.
Cargo space is respectable, and the design makes loading bulky items easy.
Performance depends heavily on trim. The base engine gets the job done, but nobody will confuse it for a sports car. The RS trim’s larger engine provides more power and makes the ride livelier. But even then, acceleration remains merely adequate.
The Impreza’s real appeal lies elsewhere, with a mix that few rivals can match: hatchback practicality, standard all-wheel drive, strong safety scores and reasonable pricing.
Perhaps that’s the key difference between these two hatchbacks. The Honda Civic impresses immediately. The Subaru Impreza grows on you.
Fortunately, choosing between them is less stressful than deciding who gets the last mimosa at brunch.
Real Estate
When buying a home, it’s decisions, decisions, decisions
Keeping notes on the process makes for an informed purchase
When looking to buy a home, there are lots of details to consider. Many of my clients would come to me and say, “Joe I want to buy a place, but I haven’t decided which neighborhood to buy in.” And the struggle was real. A few clients had everything decided from the color of the hallway walls to the cabinet handles and sometimes which three square blocks they wanted to look at.
But other clients were occasionally looking at properties in areas as distinct as Union Market/NOMA, Brookland, Logan Circle, and then we would even go across the river to look at a property in Shirlington or the Van Dorn areas of Virginia, which all have their own unique flavor and characteristics.
Sometimes clients would tell me, “I only want to look in Mount Pleasant or Adams Morgan.” Or, “don’t even show me any properties west of this street or south of that street.” My job wasn’t to convince people where to live. It was to just take the parameters they set for me and find as good of a property in that zone as I could, coordinate the showings and, if necessary, offer the strategy.
One can see that buyers often had more decisions to make than a seller. From a seller’s perspective, the house was where it was, and we just had to make the best of it. But working with a buyer could mean looking at five different neighborhoods, and then being a “thought partner” to help them figure out which were the top two or three areas they had seen, and then further distilling those down into what was available and weighing those options against each other.
One house could have the dream bathroom but also be located six blocks further from a Metro stop, walkable shopping and dining, and “just too far away from my friends.” Another house could have all the neighborhood options a client was looking for, but was just not in turnkey condition, and would require an additional $30,000 of upgrades once purchased to make it into the dream home they envisioned.
One activity I often asked buyers to do was to keep an active list in their heads of the properties they liked, and to keep a running rank of the top three. I often encouraged them to bring a notebook along on the journey where they could take notes and write down questions they thought of as they looked. It was an important decision, and sometimes the largest purchase of their lives. Why not take it a little seriously, and take notes? This could often help the buyer later when they felt it was time to decide.
The point here is, keeping a notebook handy can sometimes help a person with what feels like an overwhelming process. It provides a space to explore how one feels, jot down important details to remember, and then use that to make an informed decision.
Joseph Hudson is a referral agent with RLAH. Reach him at 703-587-0597 or [email protected].
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