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Christmastime with Lorrie Morgan

Country diva reflects on life, family and career in advance of Birchmere show

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Lorrie Morgan, gay news, Washington Blade

Lorrie Morgan has had a busy year. In addition to her first solo album in five years, she also put out a collection of re-recordings of her hits. (Photo courtesy Morgan)

Lorrie Morgan’s Enchanted Christmas

 

Sunday, Dec. 18

 

7:30 p.m.

 

The Birchmere

 

3701 Mount Vernon Ave.

 

Alexandria, VA

 

$45

 

birchmere.com

It’s been a busy and successful year for country diva Lorrie Morgan. February saw the release of her first solo album in five years, “Letting Go … Slow,” followed by a re-recorded hits collection, “A Picture Of Me — Greatest Hits & More,” a month later.

In addition to recording, Morgan has been on the road performing her own concert dates along with doing her “Grits and Glamour” show featuring fellow country star, Pam Tillis.

December finds Morgan touring with her “Enchanted Christmas” show, which comes to the Birchmere on Sunday, Dec. 18. This is the country star’s third time in the D.C.  area this year, but her first time playing the Birchmere.

During an early morning phone interview, Morgan talks about Christmas, her new music, her gay following among other things from the front porch of her new home in Portland, Tenn.

WASHINGTON BLADE: What can fans expect from your Christmas show?

LORRIE MORGAN: The only thing they can expect is I’m actually not doing any of my hits. It’s all keeping Christ in Christmas and it’s all about Christmas. I just decided you know what, I’m not here to promote my songs. I love Christmas. I’m very dedicated to that time of year and I feel like all through the year I do songs about me and now it’s about Christ so that’s what we’re gonna do.

BLADE: Do you have a favorite childhood Christmas memory?

MORGAN: People ask me all the time about my favorite childhood Christmas memory and I don’t have any, because they were all the best I ever had. Christmas growing up at our house was a magical time. My dad believed in surprises and magic and candy land and just created this fantasy for us children that was a double-edged sword because when we grew up, we were in for a big surprise (laughs). It was always a magical time for me. There were no favorite memories, they were all perfect for me.

BLADE: You’ve recorded two Christmas albums, the popular 1993 “Merry Christmas From London” and 2007’s “An Old Fashioned Christmas.” With touring the last few holiday seasons, do you plan on recording another Christmas album?

MORGAN: Not right now. My next album I want to do is a country oldies and the next one is a gospel album. I’m really looking forward to that. I don’t know when a Christmas album would be due. I don’t think I could ever top “Merry Christmas From London.”

BLADE: Would your country oldies album be similar to your 2009 country covers album, “A Moment In Time”?

MORGAN: Um, not as lush as “A Moment in Time.” I’m actually gonna do it as a duet album with Pam Tillis. She’ll be doing part of ’em and I’ll be doing part of ’em. It’ll be produced by Richard Landis, so I’m really excited about that. Very excited.

BLADE: Speaking of Pam Tillis, the two of you have been doing a successful tour for the past few years called “Grits and Glamour” and recorded an album together (2013’s “Dos Divas”). You have this great chemistry together on stage. Why do you two get along so well?

MORGAN: It’s funny (laughs) I don’t know if you’ll understand this or print it correctly, but we’re like a couple old broads walking around in a daze in a new music industry … blind leading the blind and we’re having a blast. We laugh at everything. We’re blessed, selling out crowds. I get tickled and she gets tickled and most of the time I get tickled about her. Pam is … we’re both perfectionists in our music. I’m more loose on stage and she about falls off her stool because she never knows what I’m going to say.

BLADE: You’ve released quite a few albums that while they’ve had great songs, they didn’t get the recognition they deserved. Do you ever get discouraged?

MORGAN: Oh yeah, I do, but it’s a natural part of the business (pauses). It’s kind of like living and dying. You know dying is a natural part of living and nobody’s on top forever and nobody can be on top forever and you never brace yourself for that moment when your like, “Damn, I haven’t had a hit record in 24 years.” (laughs)

BLADE: Your new album, “Letting Go…Slow” is a mixture of different genres that features originals along with a handful of covers. What inspired you to record this type of album?

MORGAN: Well, it’s been over five years since I’ve had a solo album of my own and these are songs I handpicked myself, songs I wanted to do for 20 some years and for one reason or another never got to do them. I don’t know, I don’t feel like there’s a reason or plan to release a country album. I just wanted to release these songs. The song that inspired the album is a song called “Spilt Milk.” I heard that song, God, 16, 17 years ago. I was at a benefit in New York City and the entertainer that night was Kristina Train and I never heard of her in my life and she came out and was just this class act with a great band behind her. She started singing “Spilt Milk” and my eyes started crying, I was like, “I’m out of control here.” I finally got to meet her this year at the Opry and she was so sweet and complimentary of our version of her song.

BLADE: Has “Spilt Milk” inspired you to maybe record a jazz album?

MORGAN: Oh yes! I plan on doing everything. I’m excited about it.

BLADE: You released a second album this year, “A Picture of Me — Greatest Hits & More.” How did that come about?

MORGAN: Well, a label contacted me from California and they wanted to redo, remake the hits, which is always kind of weird to me. The only thing that interested me in doing it was I got to put new songs on the album. I got to do a lot of Keith (Whitley) songs.

BLADE: Any plans to do a whole album of Keith Whitley songs?

MORGAN: I want to, but it’s a fine line to what people think you’re doing it for and just being respectful. My son (Jesse Keith Whitley) is following in his dad’s footsteps and he’s doing great. I’m gonna save that stuff for him.

BLADE: When did you first notice you had a gay following?

MORGAN: God, it’s been a long time, a long time! Let me see (pauses) it’s been probably 30 years (laughs).

BLADE: What do you think the appeal is?

MORGAN: I think they know I’m real. I don’t judge people. I love music, I love singing about real issues and life and women just don’t go through that stuff, men do as well. I’ve had a lot of gay friends all my life. One of my best friends is gay and we have the best time when we’re together that I can ever have with anybody. I guess it’s just the appeal that I don’t judge, I really don’t give a damn what your sexual preference is, I really don’t care. You know what my favorite movie is? “Birdcage.” I love that movie, me and my best friend always … he calls Miss. Albert because I’m always like, “I need a Pirin tablet” (laughs). I love that people are lightening up and seeing that this is not a bad thing. I’d like to delve back, I don’t know if anybody ever has, but I’d like to delve back to the early days of Christianity or before and see (pauses) I’d like to see when people first started feeling those emotions. Wouldn’t you?

BLADE: Yeah, it would clear a lot of things up. I think so much of how you treat people has to do with how you’re raised and your surroundings.

MORGAN: I think a lot of it and most of it. What doesn’t bother me is the love. When you love somebody with your heart and soul, I don’t think God can look down on that. I just don’t. Now if you walked around hating people and looting, killing people, that’s not good. But softness and being kind to people, nurturing someone. I don’t believe God looks down on that. I did a gay pride festival a couple years ago and it was one of the most fun shows I’ve ever done in my life. These people knew ever word, they were dressed like me, we were excited, they were excited and we had the best time.

BLADE: Quite a few years ago, you said, “Drama is something that lets you know you’re still alive.” Do you still feel that way?

MORGAN: I do, you know, the older I’ve gotten I thought the drama would settle down, but there’s a new kind of drama now. I had a friend of mine who told me that every seven to 10 years you go through changes with your body that open your eyes to learning what you had questions to for years. Now there’s a new drama in my life, not so much romantic drama, boyfriend/girlfriend drama, now it’s losing people you love, it’s a different age of my life and kids growing up, and grandkids and worrying about different things. With each part of your life there becomes a different drama you have to deal with. Yeah, it still lets you know you’re alive. You have tears and you have heartbreak and I feel sorry for people who don’t have a friend who they have loved and have lost because there’s no way to describe that feeling of overcoming, but you gotta learn to live with it and it makes you a stronger and better person.

BLADE: I feel you gotta lose a little bit to gain more in the long run as you get older.

MORGAN: Well you are right. Let me tell you something sweetie, it only gets better. It does. When I hit 40, my girlfriend told me it’s like magic. You wake up and you’re 40 and (laughs) I get it now! I wake up and I’m like, “Oh my God, I know all the answers to the questions I had all these years.” Then you hit another slump and you’re an idiot again (laughs). Then you find out that every five, seven, 10 years, you hit this new horizon that puts you at another level and it’s interesting to sit back and let it happen.

BLADE: You’ve accomplished so much in your professional and personal life. What are you most proud of?

MORGAN: I know it’s corny, but it’s gotta be my children. What they lived through at the height of my career and they were little. I always tried to make their basketball games and their proms and their school picnics and I did really damn good. You know, I would cancel a $60,000 date to make my son’s basketball game. I didn’t care at that time. They were and they are the most important things in my life. My daughter is a wonderful mother and she’s full of funny, loving ways. My son is wild as a damn buck, but he’ll give you the shirt off his back. He’s just a good ol’ southern rocker boy. My grand kids and what we have, what Randy and I tried to make is a peaceful place our kids can always come. I’ll never turn my kids away. Are they perfect? No, show me someone who is. To me they are. My son gets to go on the road with me a lot. He sings a couple songs when he’s not working. I just love those kids! They are my life.

Lorrie Morgan, gay news, Washington Blade

Lorrie Morgan says despite the ups and downs of her career and personal life, her gay fans have stuck by her. (Photo courtesy Morgan)

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The mastery of love

The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner, but in Rehoboth Beach, he has a story entirely his own

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Eric Anderson and Billy Porter met at a Christmas party and ended up talking until the sun came up. (Photo courtesy of Eric Anderson)

The world knows Eric Anderson as Billy Porter’s partner. In Rehoboth Beach, Del., he has a life — and a story — entirely his own.

My first time with Eric Anderson was hot — very hot. Before he arrived, I sat waiting, overthinking everything. When he finally appeared in a loose-fitting T-shirt and purple shorts, I understood why he attracts attention. Eric is the kind of man who changes the energy of a room simply by entering it.

After a quick hello, we got right to it. Techno pulsed through the room as Eric told me how to move, where to place my hands, when to breathe. My heart pounded. My muscles ached. I bent, twisted, and stretched while sweat ran down my back and burned my eyes. I didn’t bother wiping it away.

To be clear, Eric and I were not alone. Five other people were with us — and the yoga studio at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach was heated to 87 degrees.

“If you are always racing toward the next moment, what happens to the one you’re in?” Eric asked, opening his power yoga class and inviting us to leave whatever had followed us through the door and surrender to the present. Surrender did not come easily. At 58, I’ve done enough yoga to know the difference between discomfort and imminent death. Halfway through Eric’s relentless flow, the distinction began to blur.

A playlist of techno and remixed pop — including “Live Like You Were Dying” — carried us from one demanding pose to the next. Eric moved among the mats with the energy of a nightclub DJ and the calm of someone who trusted our bodies to go further than our minds believed possible. Nearly an hour later, when the music softened and I collapsed onto my back in savasana, he laid a cool cloth across my forehead. I exhaled — relieved, and maybe a little disappointed, that my first time with Eric was over.

At the end of my mat, a handwritten note congratulated me on my first class and invited me back — a small benediction after the storm. Then Eric closed the class by repeating the question with which he’d opened. For a man whose relationship with actor and singer Billy Porter has drawn him unexpectedly into the public eye, it sounded less like a yoga mantra than a personal creed.

The next time I meet Eric, there is air conditioning and caffeine. We are at Starbucks, where I deliberately order the largest drinks available, as though volume alone might buy me more time. He chooses a matcha, and I order herbal tea. My heart is pounding again, faster than the soft rock drifting from the speakers above us. Although I’ve already spent more than an hour with Eric, I know almost nothing about the man I’m about to interview.

Neither, it seems, does anyone else.

Celebrity outlets offer a handful of biographical details: a Rehoboth Beach teacher and yoga instructor with a master’s degree from Columbia University. Gay publications have been less restrained. One introduced him as Billy Porter’s “total hot stud,” called him “a snacc,” and praised his ability to “rock a Speedo.” Queerty distilled Eric’s identity to five words: “Porter is dating a teacher.”

All of it tells me how the world sees him. None of it tells me who he is.

I know from our text exchanges that Eric is slammed for time. He is scheduled to travel to New York later that day and fly to WorldPride Amsterdam the following afternoon. Billy is among the headliners for the opening-night Unity Concert and is also slated to perform at the Wedding Party XXL alongside KI/KI, Bimini, and the Vengaboys. Eric still has to pack. This, I’m beginning to understand, is part of loving someone famous: there is almost always an itinerary, another city, and a specific time and place Billy needs to be. Even here, with two untouched drinks between us, the clock is ticking.

Eric Anderson (Photo courtesy of Eric Anderson)

As soon as we sit down, I open my laptop, ready to get to work. My mind is focused on the list of questions I’ve prepared, and I’ve already anticipated the shape of most of his responses. Then I look up and see Eric sitting perfectly still, smiling, and taking in the moment. He hasn’t even taken a sip of his matcha yet.

I quietly close my laptop and breathe.

Within minutes, the interview softens into a conversation.

Eric earned a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Delaware and a master’s in public school leadership from Teachers College, Columbia University. He began his career teaching mathematics before moving into school administration, eventually serving as vice president of the Charter School of Wilmington and head of school at Sussex Academy. Today, he teaches mathematics and social studies in the Cape Henlopen School District. He also coaches soccer and leads yoga classes at SoulFire Collective in Rehoboth Beach.

His return to the classroom was deliberate. Eric knows some people assumed there must be a story behind his leaving administration—that he had done something wrong or that teaching represented a demotion.

“I want to make it clear that I went back to teaching by choice,” he says.

As a child, Eric played school. Teaching has always felt natural to him, less like an occupation than an expression of who he is. Administration was different.

“It felt like work,” he says. “It wasn’t where my passion was, and it didn’t bring me joy. Going back into the classroom was simply me choosing joy.”

The more Eric talks, the clearer it becomes that teaching is not merely a job but a vocation. His mother is white and his father is Black, and growing up biracial was not always easy. “I saw the best and the worst of both,” he tells me. Those experiences helped shape his desire to become a teacher — to be the kind of person who could make a meaningful difference in a young person’s life.

Just then, Eric glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with someone across the room. He waves and flashes what is quickly becoming his signature smile. My first thought is that someone has recognized him as Billy Porter’s partner.

I’m wrong. It’s one of his former students.

Inevitably, our conversation turns to love — and to Billy. I’ve made it clear that I’m here to write about Eric, not Billy Porter. But separating the two entirely would be as artificial as defining Eric only by their relationship. Billy is now an essential part of his story.

Eric met Billy at a Christmas party hosted by mutual friends who had been trying to introduce them all night. It wasn’t easy — the party was crowded, and the two men never quite crossed paths. Eric stayed for the afterparty, where a friend nudged him and nodded toward the room: Billy was looking his way. Romance never crossed his mind.

Eventually, they started talking. Eric has never had much patience for small talk, and he wasn’t interested in cataloging which celebrities Billy knew. He skipped it entirely and went straight for the deeper questions — what Billy believed, how he saw the world, what mattered to him. They ended up at the kitchen table, trading life philosophies until 5 a.m.

What struck Eric most wasn’t the conversation’s length. It was its depth. Billy wasn’t who he expected. Neither was the conversation. By the time the sun was coming up, Eric was less surprised that they’d talked all night than by how much, it turned out, they had in common.

They had dinner the following evening, and Billy invited Eric to spend the weekend with him in New York. There, Billy took him to see Nicole Scherzinger in “Sunset Boulevard.” Right before the show started, he casually introduced Eric to a friend named Katy. Back in their seats, Eric asked how Billy knew her.

“BITCH,” Billy replied, “that is Miss K-A-T-Y P-E-R-R-Y!”

For all the glamour surrounding their courtship, Eric describes the foundation of their relationship in decidedly spiritual terms. His favorite book is don Miguel Ruiz’s The Mastery of Love, which explores how fear, expectation, and the need for approval can distort relationships. Its philosophy closely resembles Eric’s own.

On the surface, Eric and Billy inhabit different worlds. Eric is a deeply spiritual teacher rooted in a small coastal Delaware town. Billy is a celebrated actor and performer whose larger-than-life persona commands stages around the world. But when I ask Eric how the relationship works, he doesn’t hesitate.

“I know that I can be my authentic self with him, and he can be his with me,” he says. “We love each other unconditionally.”

The words could sound rehearsed. Coming from Eric, they don’t.

The red carpets, famous faces, and international travel are not what matter most.

“It’s all about the people,” he explains. “I love Billy’s family and friends, and he loves mine.”

Authenticity surfaces repeatedly in our conversation — not as an abstract ideal, but as Eric’s determination to trust what feels right for him, even when other people may not understand it. I tell him about growing up in Pittsburgh and spending much of my life trying to fit the person I was into the person the world expected me to be. Eric listens intently, then pauses before responding.

“Fuck the system.”

It is blunt, funny, and entirely consistent with the man sitting across from me. Dating Billy may have dramatically increased the number of strangers who have opinions about Eric, but it hasn’t increased the number whose opinions matter to him. He is remarkably unconcerned with what people he doesn’t know think — or say — about him. The attention is new. His response to it is not.

For Eric, authenticity isn’t about asking the world for permission to be yourself. It’s about deciding that permission was never the world’s to give.

That instinct—to look inward rather than outward for permission — predates Billy.

Eric initially turned to yoga for a practical reason: he wanted to improve his physical performance on the soccer field. It didn’t take long for him to realize that something else was happening. Yoga was strengthening his body, but it was also grounding him.

Over time, the physical practice became inseparable from the mental one. The poses, the heat, even the strength required to hold his body in place became less important than learning how to quiet the noise around him, stay present, and listen to himself. The man who had pushed me through an hour of sweat and discomfort wasn’t simply teaching people how to move their bodies. He was asking them to practice something he had learned to do himself.

That sense of being grounded has become particularly important in a relationship that often requires two people to live very different lives. Eric is quick to point out that he and Billy have separate careers, separate ambitions, and goals entirely their own. Neither expects the other to abandon an individual life simply because they have chosen to build a relationship together.

When Billy left for London to star in “Cabaret,” distance became part of their routine. They FaceTimed every day, a practice they continue whenever they are apart.

“I tell Billy everything,” Eric says.

Being authentic with Billy doesn’t require the two men to become more alike. If anything, the opposite seems true. They are comfortable following their own career paths, living separate lives when circumstances require it, and giving each other the freedom to pursue what matters individually. Then they come back together — not because either has put his own life on hold, but because they have chosen to share those lives with each other.

When we finally look at the time, nearly 90 minutes have passed. Eric still needs to pack. New York is waiting, Amsterdam after that, and somewhere there is undoubtedly an itinerary telling Billy exactly where he needs to be and when.

But for a while, neither of us was racing toward the next moment.

We were fully inside the one we were in.

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What ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’ can still teach us

Producer David Collins on lasting impact of hit series

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David Collins (Photo courtesy of Collins)

It’s hard to imagine where LGBTQ+ television would be without “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” the trailblazing reality series that premiered in 2003. 

Each episode of this Emmy-winning show saw a group of gays converge on a struggling man — the titular straight guy — and offer nonstop wit while organizing his endlessly messy life. This program about a group of homosexual helpers took the world by storm, furthering the love of gay television begun by shows like “Will and Grace” but bringing it into the growing medium of reality TV. Of course, it wasn’t perfect; “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” often cast its experts less as multi-faceted queer folks and more as sources of early 2000s gay jokes. But despite these pitfalls, it’s undeniable that the original program explored the realities of being gay in a way audiences had never seen before. It was a monumental piece of LGBTQ+ representation, and its success is largely owed to the man who fought to get this show made: producer David Collins. 

Collins spoke with the Blade from his Los Angeles home, where he’s spent the past few years living with his husband and his two daughters. David spoke fondly of his many years in the industry, detailing how it feels to be such a huge part of LGBTQ+ history. He explained, however, that he didn’t initially set out to alter how queer people were seen on television. “I never went out to make gay television,” said the producer. “I went out to tell great stories.”

“I’m a hillbilly from Ohio, and I thought I was going to be an editor,” David laughed, looking back on his career. “I interned at the Cincinnati Film Office, and I showed up to work my very first day, and the film commissioner was like, ‘Get to the airport right now and pick [someone] up. Don’t talk to them.’ Well, I ended up picking up Jodie Foster.” Collins raved about this car ride that changed his life, with the pair becoming friends and Foster pushing him to become a producer who puts their own media out into the world. Eventually, he did just that, and after learning about the wild new genre that was reality TV, he pitched a series to Bravo: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” 

“I was obsessed with Esquire magazine, and they had five categories: fashion, grooming, interior design, culture, food, and wine. So I gave them each a gay, and the Fab Five were born!” Collins said, describing how viewers quickly fell in love with the concept and earned the program four seasons and an Emmy for Outstanding Reality Program. He spoke about how proud he felt creating a show that centered real gay people, not characters in a story, remembering, “To stand in the middle of Times Square and look up and see this massive billboard with the original Queer Eye guys…it wasn’t even a dream come true, because it wasn’t a dream I had even fathomed.”

With his series, people were watching actual gay men and learning the realities of a queer culture that had always been portrayed as a danger to society. Collins tearfully recounted hearing about queer people using the show as a way to connect with their family, saying, “What I’m most proud of that’s come out of Queer Eye [are] the conversations that that series has allowed to have people around their kitchen tables with little boys in Ohio like me who were scared to death that they were going to burn in hell because their pastor was telling them that they were a sinner.”

Now, for all of its trailblazing, the program wasn’t wholly positive; the show’s focus on the central ‘straight guy’ meant it rarely delved into the lives of its Fab Five. Collins regretted that lack of depth but understood that earlier audiences weren’t accustomed to such a nuanced look into queerness — that would have to wait for the reboot. 

When “Queer Eye” came out in 2018, audiences were introduced to not only a new Fab Five, but a whole new format (that didn’t rely on a straight person). Now, the series would assist queer folks and allies alike, spotlighting these individuals as well as the queer experts helping them improve their lives. The show has been applauded for its amazing makeovers, but where it truly stands out is its representation, offering a look into individuals across the country and the struggles — along with the immense joys — of being queer in America today.

Fans were disappointed to hear that “Queer Eye” would be ending after its 10th season, but David stressed that they wouldn’t have to be sad for long. “What I will say to you is this: hang tight,” he teased. “There’s yet another version of ‘Queer Eye’ to come, and we’re working on that now.” In the meantime, Collins is continuing his work with new shows like the “House of Stassi,” a series centered on “Vanderpump Rules’”prolific waitress. He’s excited about these new projects, but emphasized that his heart will always belong to “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” and all that it continues to do for viewers 19 years after its finale. 

“It’s not about your new outfit or your new couch or your new whatever. It’s about your humanity,” said Collins, speaking about the core lesson he hopes people take away from the Queer Eye franchise. “It’s about seeing yourself. It’s about dignity. It’s about how confidence breeds success.”

A valuable message that queer folks can benefit from even more now than they did in 2003. And, while it’s unclear just what lies ahead for this franchise, one thing is for sure: “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” helped people everywhere understand the power that exists within our queerness. It’s a truth that has impacted countless pieces of LGBTQ+ television today, and it’s one that Collins promises to keep alive through whatever hit show he creates next. 

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Jason DePuy on coping with homophobia in ‘Big Brother’ house

First drag queen contestant on CBS show fought to stay positive

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Jason DePuy on Big Brother (Photo courtesy of CBS Broadcasting,Inc.)

One week after Jason DePuy (known as Salina EsTitties on “RuPaul’s Drag Race”) was bullied and eventually evicted from CBS’s “Big Brother” house, the queer drag performer is still emotionally processing his feelings.

During his 24 days in the reality TV competition, DePuy often had a rough time, with fellow cast member Kamuela “Kamu” Kirk making homophobic comments and feeling isolated.

In a conversation with Head of Household Rick Devens, Kirk left viewers upset when he said, “Bro, miss me with the drag stuff. Miss me. I’m still an MMA guy, and I have an image to uphold.”

Former “Big Brother” contestant Frankie Grande called his words  ‘homophobic’ and ‘gross.’ Another comment, where Kirk said he wanted to end DePuy’s career, also received strong backlash online.

Now that he is out of the house, DePuy has been shocked and deeply touched by the love from “Big Brother” fans and former contestants. We chatted with DePuy for this Blade exclusive.

“To know that my community was rallying for me outside the house was the most wonderful thing. Seeing how much people were just wanting to shower me with love was incredible. Even my friends, I went to say hi and give them a hug, and they’re like, ‘Uh, uh, come here.’ They had to hold me and let me know America was feeling for me in a way that I had no idea.”

He added: “To see that reality was just overwhelming, and I couldn’t ask for more.”

Known as a messy player in the house, DePuy often had to fight to stay positive and stand up for himself. 

“No one was coming to my rescue. In real life, it’s easy to block people, but in the house, I didn’t have that luxury, so I had to find it within myself to learn how to speak up for myself in a way that wasn’t nasty or biting. I didn’t attack anyone personally, which is what I was the most proud of.”

DePuy acknowledged he has had a history of putting his foot in his mouth when it came to certain “Drag Race”moments, being in the public eye, and making a fool of himself. “I’ve learned my lessons; to see how I handled myself in the ‘Big Brother’ house was amazing.” 

While DePuy has been sober for 14 and a half years and has a strong spiritual foundation, in the Big Brother house, he often felt like he couldn’t communicate what he was feeling. 

“As a queer person, a person of color, a drag queen, I have to be very careful about how I move. I don’t have the luxury or privilege to just act a certain way or say a certain thing. I have to be very careful; I’m representing me. But who I am is a Latino, a person of recovery, a drag queen, a queer person in the community. I know that there’s a lot of pressure that comes with that. I felt it was safer for me to sit there and just breathe than try to do anything crazy.”

He continued: “I couldn’t speak to the personal attack that was happening in the house, because in my mind I was like, ‘no, this is a game, and I have to play it, put that aside.’”

Not only can viewers watch the episodes, but they can also watch the live feeds of what’s happening. Seeing the fans’ social media posts from people who had watched the episodes and the live feeds also contributed to DePuy realizing that his feelings of discomfort were valid.

“To know that I wasn’t delusional in those moments, that others could see what was happening, has been a lot to take in. Fans and friends let me know the comments made went beyond the game…I’m like, ‘Oh, so my instincts were correct.”

One of the most poignant moments on the live feeds occurred when DePuy was crying, alone in his room, and said how he missed his gay community.

“I really missed my friends. I missed my queer community. We’re so colorful. We’re so loud. We’re so vibrant. We speak off the cuff, and we’re very truthful and honest with how we speak, and it’s fun. We have fun lingo.”

DePuy had to censor his expressions in the house. “Because I can say one thing, but it can mean something different to straight people than it does with my queer brothers and sisters. So, there was a sense of code-switching that I had to do. I had to even put aside some of my queerness in a way sometimes to fit in.”

DePuy was thrilled to be the very first drag queen to ever be cast on the show. 

“I’m honored to have been chosen. There’s a million drag queens out there, and to know that I was a contender to come in the house and not even be in drag was like a wow for me. I’m over here in Hollywood, running around these streets with a wig and heels just to make a dollar to survive, and I have to rely on drag to do that. And then to be offered this opportunity and be given the privilege to say, ‘hey, you don’t have to put on the wig for you to be valuable here,’ is just insane to me.”

Prior to his shows, DePuy has been hustling for 15 years, flipping burgers and doing drag at night.

“That has been my life these past since I was 17. So it’s been a long journey; the opportunity to do this out of drag is a very big blessing. I’m honored and grateful to be the representation of my community.”

If you missed Jason on “Big Brother: Unlocked,” the episode can be seen on CBS.com. He will be back on the show for the finale.

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