December 11, 2017 at 5:36 pm EST | by Mikey Rox
HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: Gay gifts galore
gay gifts, gay news, Washington Blade

Cutesy, clever, gifty or sexy, here are some off-the-beaten-path ideas for gifts.

Gay ol’ St. Nick delivers the goods to LGBT people of all ages and sensibilities with this comprehensive gift guide designed to please every persuasion. (And because it wouldn’t be Christmas without dick cookies.)

Elliot Havoc Racer Chronograph Watch

Designed in gay-mecca Golden Gate City, the chronograph watch from Elliot Havok — shown here in festive green with Italian leather straps — features Miyota Japanese JS15 movement, a sapphire glass face and enough style cred that you can forgo the gift receipt. $199, elliothavok.com

Elliot Havoc Racer Chronograph Watch

ONEHOPE Pride Box

Gay newlyweds will cherish the sentiment and enjoy the bubbly in this prideful gift box featuring ONEHOPE California Sparkling Brut Rainbow Glitter Edition, a Supreme Court Ruling card by Emily McDowell, rainbow disco ball bottle-necker and confetti push-pop in a white gift box. Every two gift sets funds one hour of operational costs for the Trevor Project’s lifeline helpline that provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBT youth. $99, onehopewine.com

ONEHOPE Pride Box

Slumbr Pillows

Slumbr’s online Pillow Quiz will help determine which luxurious pillows suit each sleeper — take it on your partner’s behalf so you don’t ruin the surprise. But rest assured you’ll both sleep better as visions of go-go boys dance in your heads. $60-225, slumbr.com

Slumber Pillows

BucknBear Small Abalone Knife

Vibrant iridescent abalone handles flank a gorgeous VG10 core Damascus steel blade, which resembles a beach shoreline, to create this all-purpose pocketknife that avid outdoorsmen and lesbians will go gaga over. $89, urbanedcsupply.com

BucknBear Small Abalone Knife

EcoReco E-Scooter

Commuters and students alike will appreciate this environmentally safe electric scooter that charges in a standard AC outlet, hits the road at up to 20 miles per hour for 10-20 miles on a single charge, and folds down quickly and easily into a compact and lightweight means of save-the-planet transportation. $799, ecorecoscooter.com

EcoReco E-Scooter

Petite Diamond Snowflake Necklace

Sixty-one shimmering diamonds set in a snowflake of 14 karat white gold takes the liberal politics your girlfriend wears on her proverbial sleeve and puts them squarely on her chest. A badge of honor, indeed. $495, bahdos.com

Petite Diamond Snowflake Necklace

Fanchest

Deck out your special sports fan in head-to-toe spirit for their favorite team with a Fanchest filled with everything they’ll need for a next-level game day. Each box is different but chests often include shirts, hats, scarves, cups and more officially licensed swag from NFL, NHL, NBA, MLB or college teams. Autographed memorabilia boxes also are available. $59-299, fanchest.com

Fanchest

Genital-Shaped Cookie Cutters

Gay sex positions and detailed human genitalia — veins and all, y’all — turn sugar-spiked dough into never-more-than-a-mouthful cookies lifted straight from the Kama Sutra. Perfect for the church bake sale. $9-12, etsy.com/au/shop/bakerlogy

Genital-Shaped Cookie Cutters

Astro Fi Wi-Fi Connected Telescope

Your gay niece or nephew (don’t we all have one by now?) can shoot for the stars (or at least gaze at them) with the Astro Fi Wi-Fi Connected Telescope that throws the live night sky onto a phone or tablet for easy exploration of the cosmos. $400, thegrommet.com

Astro Fi Wi-Fi Connected Telescope

Frank Lloyd Wright Porcelain Box

Gold-trimmed and limited edition (only 1,500 numbered pieces exist) this porcelain-lidded catchall features one of Wright’s Liberty magazine cover designs with a quote on the inside as a daily reminder to put your best gay foot forward. $80, shopwright.org

Frank Lloyd Wright Porcelain Box

Wine Explorer by Vinome

After receiving their Helix-sequenced DNA results, recipients can head to the Vinome website to discover curated wine recommendations tailored to their taste preferences and scientifically selected based on their genetic makeup to add an exciting new element to boozy half-price-bottle nights. $110, helix.com

Epson Home Cinema 2100

Screen movies up to 11-feet wide — that’s four times the size of a 60-inch flat panel TV — with this home projector featuring full HD resolution, 1.6x zoom, and a built-in 10 W speaker that’ll make your Netflix-and-chill routine feel like a second-run matinee. Popcorn trick encouraged. $650, epson.com

Epson Home Cinema 2100

Symphonica Horn Speaker Dock

Reminiscent of the iconic Victrola phonograph, this handcrafted acoustic horn updates turn-of-the-century design to produce a sleek, electricity-free speaker to amplify smartphone playlists that would make Edison cream his pants. $130-160, symphonicasound.com

Symphonica Horn Speaker Dock

Kevin Messenger Beverage Carrier

Don’t let this bag fool you: The only message it’s sending is how to get day drunk on three liters of insulated wine, beer or premade cocktail — and look dapper doing it. $75, vivajennz.com

Kevin Messenger Beverage Carrier

Iridescent Universe Joggers

Explore the constellations of his nether region while he’s lounging in these hypnotic, cosmic statement joggers that you can’t take your eyes off of. $60, intotheam.com

Iridescent Universe Joggers

Hestan Cue Induction Cooking System

This smart pan and induction burner with embedded Bluetooth sensors brings amateur kitchen skills into the 21st century so you and boo can home-cook like the tuned-in Millennials you can’t stop telling everybody you are. $500, hestancue.com

Hestan Cue Induction Cooking System

Rocabi Weighted Blanket

Cut back on your Advil PM and Xanax nightcaps with all-the-rage adult weighted blankets that studies have found to help alleviate anxiety and insomnia. $209-279, rocabi.com

Rocabi Weighted Blanket

Seersucker Martini Belt

Hand-stitched and made to order, the martini needlepoint belt from Brewster Belt Co. adds a twist of whimsy to casual Fridays while reinforcing the comforting reality that it’s always 5 p.m. somewhere. Also available in a San Francisco landscape design prominently featuring the rainbow pride flag. $165-175, brewsterbelt.com

Seersucker Martini Belt

Happier Camper

Hitch vintage-inspired Happier Camper — outfitted with modern amenities, like the Adaptiv modular interior, USB ports and other custom components — to the back of most vehicles for all-the-time hook-up-and-go getaways guaranteed to renew a zest for adventure. $18,950-and-up, happiercamper.com

Happier Camper

Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets across the world. He splits his time between homes in New York City and the Jersey Shore with his dog Jaxon. Connect with Mikey on Twitter @mikeyrox.

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