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Years & Years’ frontman Olly Alexander talks life, love, anger and ‘Palo Santo’

Elaborate concept album/film project revealed unexpected inner emotions

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Olly Alexander, gay news, Washington Blade

Years & Years lead singer Olly Alexander says he decided early on to be open with fans and the press, a decision he doesn’t regret. (Photo courtesy High Rise PR)

Years & Years

 

‘Palo Santo Tour’

 

With Cyn, Tunde Olaniran

 

Thursday, Oct. 11

 

8 p.m.

 

The Lincoln Theatre

 

1215 U St., N.W.

 

SOLD OUT

 

yearsandyears.com

Olly Alexander is slightly out of breath when he gets on the phone. The out frontman of the British synth-pop group Years & Years has had a busy few months promoting the group’s latest album “Palo Santo.” The band isn’t stopping anytime soon as they embark on a North American tour, which already has sold-out dates including the Lincoln Theatre on Oct. 11.

Years & Years, which rounds out its trio with group members Mikey Goldsworthy and Emre Türkmen, first hit the music scene with its 2015 breakout hit “King.” Since then, Years & Years has continued to pump out danceable hits including “Sanctify” and “If You’re Over Me” (which hit the top 10 in the U.K.) from “Palo Santo,” which hit No. 3 in the U.K. and No. 1 on the U.S. Top Dance/Electronic Albums Billboard chart. A short film, narrated by Judi Dench, about a dystopian world controlled by robots, also accompanied the group’s sophomore effort.

Alexander has also been busy as an advocate for mental health and LGBT issues. The 28 year old opened up about his struggles with mental health problems, which he began to experience as a teenager, to the public. He’s also been candid about being an unapologetically gay pop star. Always on the move, Alexander caught up with the Washington Blade and talked about the new wave of LGBT pop artists, his love for Rihanna and his thoughts on masculinity — all while hailing a taxi in London.

WASHINGTON BLADE: Years & Years’ sophomore album is called “Palo Santo.” The first album is called “Communion.” What is it about that spiritual/religious imagery that connects with you?

OLLY ALEXANDER: I guess it’s always been something that fascinated me my whole life. When I was a kid my family moved around a lot. We moved to a house that was right next to a church and I used to play in the church yard. I think it was a way in to spiritual imagery which I think is so powerful. From my own life, I’m not religious. I also worked in this shop when I was 14 that sold spell books and candles and gem stones. So I’ve kind of always been fascinated by it.

BLADE: “Palo Santo” has the same upbeat pop beat that was on “Communion” but the lyrics are darker. Did you intend for the album to be an emotional release or did you only see that when you finished the album and looked back?

ALEXANDER: Making music is always an emotional release for me. Throughout the songwriting process I don’t really have much of a gauge on the overall themes. It wasn’t until the album was done that I realized looking back it had this more confessional and angrier tone to it than the previous stuff I’ve written. That happened naturally, I think. When I think about it I was 19, 20, 21 when I was writing the songs on the first album. Everyone changes over the course of however many years. The music on the second record was from 26, 27 and you’re always growing as a songwriter.

BLADE: The album seems very personal to you, specifically. Did you have to convince your bandmates to let you take the lead on this?

ALEXANDER: I’ve always been the lyricist and I’ve always written songs from my perspective. So we’re used to working that way. Although, I’ve definitely had a few conversations with Mikey and Emre where I’m like, “Look this is the way I want to do it. This is how I think we should make the song.” We have a few arguments but then they usually back me up.

BLADE: What’s one thing you learned about yourself after completing the album?

ALEXANDER: One thing I learned is I had all this pent-up anger. I would never describe myself as an angry person. I avoid confrontations at all costs. I always practice peace and kindness. I realized I had crushed all this anger inside of me and it was kind of like clawing to get out. That was mainly towards ex-boyfriends, my dad. All the big ones. I learned I’m not quite as good at letting go of my anger as I thought I was.

BLADE: The video component of “Palo Santo” looked like it could have been an episode of “Black Mirror.” On the flip side, what would your utopia look like?

ALEXANDER: Full of trees and nature. We’d all live in harmony with animals. We’d have equality and world peace. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen “Zeitgeist” but in one of the “Zeitgeist” movies they have templates for Utopian cities. There’s no money and everyone has their own role in society. They grow their own food and it’s like local and sustainable. Oh, and dolphins. We could swim with dolphins and they’d talk to us.

BLADE: One of your last tweets said that “It’s been 107 days since I met Rihanna.” Is that how you measure your life now?

ALEXANDER: Yeah, exactly. I have B.R. which is Before Rihanna and then A.R. which is After Rihanna.

BLADE: Is there anyone else that you haven’t met yet that you’d freak out over?

ALEXANDER: Plenty of people. Mariah Carey. Definitely Beyoncé. I would be a nervous wreck. Also Janet Jackson for sure. Joni Mitchell as well. And Stevie Wonder. Those are all my heroes.

BLADE: You’ve mentioned that you’re a book worm. Any recent reads that have inspired you?

ALEXANDER: One of the books I found super inspiring recently is “Aliens & Anorexia” by Chris Kraus who wrote “I Love Dick.” I was like “Wow, this woman’s voice is incredible.” I just wanted to read more and more. That kind of inspired me lately. And “The Vegetarian” by Han Kang is amazing.

BLADE: You’ve been very open about mental health and your sexuality. When you first started Years & Years did you want to be an advocate for LGBT and mental health issues or did it just happen?

ALEXANDER: I really had no idea that would be something I would end up doing. It did just kind of happen. Luckily, I’d already been through an intense mental health journey before I was in the public eye. I learned some tools to cope with my emotions and things I was going through. One of those tools was to be very honest about almost everything. So I just applied that to being in interviews and being with fans. Then I saw the response that me being open about my mental health had and it had such an intense reaction. I realized that people were so desperate to speak out and once that started happening I realized that this started feeling really meaningful. I want to be able to help in some way and make some change. I was like, “This could be a way that I could do this and help some people” so it just kind of snowballed from there.

BLADE: Is it ever strange to know so many people know such intimate things about you? You’ve mentioned issues with your father and coming out.

ALEXANDER: It is quite strange but I think it’s worth it. I’ve felt like I’ve built this foundation at super speed to withstand the attention especially around my personal life. But I feel much more like I can withstand that sort of attention now. And seeing firsthand how being open about stuff encourages honesty in other people, I feel like it’s worth it in the end. Sometimes it’s a bit weird but then life is weird for everyone isn’t it?

BLADE: I attended your concert at 9:30 club in D.C. a few years back. I remember people in the crowd kept saying they loved your dancing which you do on stage and in your videos. What is it about dancing that’s so integral to your performances?

ALEXANDER: I’ve always loved being that boy at the school discos who is dancing when no one else is. When I was in my early 20s going out the club I lived for going out and the weekends. I would meet so many new people and see my friends out. It was like a gay initiation in lots of ways. It was a real scene and I knew everybody. I think that kind of gave me a love for dance music. Also, just as a performer I start to respect actual dances. I’m wishing in another life that’s what I would have pursued. It’s such a pure form of expression.

BLADE: At the British GQ Awards you made a powerful speech about masculinity and gender stereotypes. For you, what’s your definition of a “man”?

ALEXANDER: I guess I’m trying as much as possible not to define what it means to be a man. I know that sounds like a cop-out. I think we have to be so careful around language because words are all we’ve got. It’s kind of essentialist to think there’s one definition because there’s just so many. I would encourage people to figure it out for themselves.

BLADE: There was a time a few years ago when LGBT artists weren’t as prominent as they are now. There was maybe Tegan and Sara and that’s it. But now there’s you, Troye Sivan, Kim Petras, Hayley Kiyoko. Did you ever think this would happen or did it shock you?

ALEXANDER: Well, I think it’s a bit of both. I could never have imagined a pop landscape that included queer options. I never could have imagined that would exist when I was a teenager because I had no reference for it, really. Now, it does feel like a new wave of queer artists coming through. We’re seeing so many talented artists. I’m excited to see what happens next and how all these artists are going to continue to grow and inspire other people. I think we’re still in the early stages of the queer influx of artists. Ones who are able to be out in the beginning of their career. So I’m excited to see how it continues.

Olly Alexander, gay news, Washington Blade

Olly Alexander says dancing comes naturally to him both in clubs and on tour. (Photo courtesy High Rise PR)

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Another busy summer season arrives in Rehoboth Beach

Fine dining, drag shows, theater, and more on tap for 2023

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Joe Ciarlante-Zuber (right) with his husband and business partner Darryl Ciarlante-Zuber have another busy summer of events planned at Diego’s. (Blade photo by Daniel Truitt)

The summer of 2023 will be an exciting time in Rehoboth Beach, with lots to see and do as always. Great people, and of course the sand, sea, and boardwalk. Everyone in town has been working hard over the winter to make this the best season ever at the beach. New businesses, old ones moving to new locations, milestone anniversaries, and just loads of fun all around. 

While I am often just a burger and fries’ guy, Rehoboth has become a real foodie paradise for those who enjoy, and appreciate, really fine dining. (For more on the dining scene, see separate story in the Blade.)

The City of Rehoboth has fewer than 1,500 full-time residents. Many who have a Rehoboth address like me, live outside the city boundary. But at any time during the summer season, the population swells to more than 25,000. Among them are many members of the LGBTQ community. If you are one of them, stop by CAMP Rehoboth, the LGBTQ community center, founded by Murray Archibald and Steve Elkins in 1991. 

Today, many of the businesses in town are owned by members of the community and even those that aren’t are supportive of the community. The most famous residents of the area are President Biden and first lady Jill Biden, who try to spend some weekends at their home there. Not sure how much time they will have this summer between the duties of being president and running for reelection.  I do know when there, they love the famous chicken salad sandwiches, among other great things, from Lori Klein’s Lori’s Oy Veh Café in the CAMP courtyard. Lori’s is celebrating its 27th season. If you stop in the courtyard, you will be pleased to see new tables and chairs where you can sit and enjoy your meal.

My favorite hangout on Baltimore Avenue, the gayest block in Rehoboth, is Aqua Grill. The perfect place to spend happy hour any day of the week. Chris, one of the hot and charming waiters, is back serving drinks on the deck. Then there is The Pines restaurant across the street with a great showroom upstairs and always fun entertainment. The guys who own it have expanded their operations with Drift on Baltimore and now taken over the old Philip Morton Gallery and turned it into their offices. They are also preparing to open Bodhi on 1st street. One of the great old standbys at the beach is The Purple Parrot Grill and Biergarten on Rehoboth Avenue. Owners Hugh Fuller and Troy Roberts make everyone feel welcome. The old girl has a bright new paint job this year and she’s better than ever with some great entertainment. 

Make sure you read the Blade’s column on food at the beach but here are just some of the places I passed on my walk around town on sidewalk sale weekend. There are Eden Restaurant, Azafran, and La Fable on the beach block of Baltimore Avenue. Then the always reliable standby the Blue Moon. In addition to some of the best food in town, the Moon has an extensive calendar of special events planned for summer, including the much anticipated return of talented NYC pianist Nate Buccieri beginning June 25. He plays Sunday-Thursday for most of the summer; check bluemoonrehoboth.com for specifics.

There is also Ava’s and Theo’s and Frank and Louie’s on the second block.The venerable Back Porch on Rehoboth Avenue has been serving some of Rehoboth’s finest food for decades, and, of course, Houston White further up the street if you’re craving a steak.Then there is Goolee’s Grill on 1st street and the new location of JAM on 2nd. Goolee’s is celebrating its 20th anniversary with a cocktail party on June 1, 5-9 p.m.; tickets are $15 and available online.

My favorite morning place, it has become my afternoon place as well, is the totally refurbished Coffee Mill in the mews between Rehoboth Avenue and Baltimore Avenue, just next to the wonderful Browseabout Books on Rehoboth Avenue. Dewey Beach residents will soon have their own Coffee Mill in a beachfront location, 1700 Coastal Highway. It will have a great view of the beach and ocean from its rooftop deck. Mel and Bob are going to be busy this year with all their places including Brashhh on 1st street, now celebrating its 11th year, and The Mill Creamery serving Hopkins ice cream. Longtime Rehoboth business owner Steve Fallon, one of the best promoters of the beach I know, has the fun Gidget’s Gadgets on Rehoboth Avenue and his second place selling vinyl records, Extendedplay. Then there is Coho’s Market and Grill on Rehoboth Avenue. 

Back on the gayest block in Rehoboth, Baltimore Avenue, don’t forget to stop in and purchase some incredible one-of-a-kind jewelry pieces, and now original art, at Elegant Slumming and then get your hair cut in The Grateful Head Salon.  

For more afternoon and evening entertainment there is the popular Diego’s Bar and Nightclub (37298 Rehoboth Avenue Ext.), a perfect spot for outdoor happy hours and late night dancing. Local legend Magnolia Applebottom holds court all summer with performances slated for the Thursday and Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend. Sunday’s show runs 6-9 p.m. followed by DJ Mags “with her boys” from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. In addition to Magnolia, Diego’s brings internationally known DJs to town during the summer. And the free parking is a nice bonus in a town with a chronic shortage of parking spaces. Diego’s has an exciting summer of special events planned, so follow them online for updates. Among the acts coming to Diego’s this summer are “Jaws the Musical” (June 18), Ada Vox (July 5), and Edmund Bagnell (July 17). 

Don’t miss the always fun Freddie’s Beach Bar on 1st street, where the amazing Freddie Lutz has brought his wonderful concept from Virginia to the beach. The beloved Pamala Stanley performs periodically at Freddie’s; follow her on social media for updated dates.

Remember Rehoboth still has some great culture even if the town commissioners have been trying to force it out of town. The amazing Clear Space Theatre is stillon Baltimore Avenue. This season’s productions include Lucy in the Sea with Darvon, Jesus Christ Superstar, Kinky Boots, and The Spongebob Musical

This will be a summer not to miss at the beach. Better make your plans to visit soon, if you haven’t already, because hotels and rentals are booking fast. 

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Pride season arrives!

LGBTQ community events planned across region

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A scene from the 2022 Capital Pride Parade. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Pride season has already begun. Last month’s Roanoke Pride filled the Virginia city’s Elmwood Park with rainbow flags. Pride events begin in D.C. this month and continue through June. Regionally, some cities have opted to hold their Pride events as late as the fall. 

May

Organizers of Trans Pride D.C. (transpridewashingtondc.org) plan a full day of workshops and events on Saturday, May 20 at Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial Library (901 G Street, N.W.). These events are currently listed on Facebook and Eventbrite as running from 9 a.m. – 4 p.m. 

The HIV/PrEP Programs at the Charles County Department of Health are hosting PrEP for Pride 2023 at 4545 Crain Highway in White Plains, Md. on Saturday May 20 from 12-7 p.m. 

The festival is free, though those who RSVP will be entered into a door prize drawing. PrEP for Pride’s Eventbrite page advertises a pride walk, a PrEP Mini Ball, music, art, health & wellness information, food options and other vendors.

Equality Prince William Pride (equalitypincewilliam.org) will be held on Sunday, May 21 at the Harris Pavillion (9201 Center Street, Manassas, Va.) from 12-4 p.m., according to its Facebook events page.

The event is billed as a family-friendly event with music, vendors and kids activities. Performers include musician John Levengood, BRUU Band & Choir and the drag artists Coco Bottoms, Muffy Blake Stephyns and Ophelia Bottoms.

D.C. Black Pride (dcblackpride.org) events are held throughout the city May 26-29 primarily at the Renaissance Washington DC Downtown Hotel (999 9th Street, N.W.). 

Official events include a Unity Ball, a vendor expo, a talent showcase, forums, parties and the annual Pride Festival in the Park at Fort Dupont Park on May 29 from 12-7 p.m.

A scene from the Us Helping Us Black Pride Festival at Fort Dupont Park last May. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The third Caroline County Pride Festival (carolinepride.com) “A Carnival Adventure” will be held in downtown Denton, Md. (301 Market Street) on Saturday, May 27 from 3-8 p.m. according to the group’s Facebook event page.

June

Last year’s Baltimore Trans Pride March was held on June 5, 2022. (Washington Blade file photo by Linus Berggren)

Baltimore Trans Pride (baltimoresafehaven.org/transpride) kicks off the month at 2117 North Charles Street in Baltimore, Md. on Saturday, June 3, according to Baltimore Safe Haven’s Facebook event page.

The Baltimore Trans Pride 2023 Grand March is to be held at 1 p.m. on Saturday along North Charles Street between 22nd and 23rd. The Block Party continues at 3 p.m. with performances beginning at 4 p.m.

Afterparties are scheduled at The Crown (1901 North Charles Street) and Ottobar (2549 North Howard Street). Baltimore Safe Haven also hosts a kickoff ball on Friday, June 2 at 2640 Saint Paul Street at 6 p.m.

Annapolis Pride (annapolispride.org) holds its annual parade and festival on Saturday, June 3 from 12-5 p.m. on Inner West Street in Annapolis, Md. according to the Facebook event page

Hundreds lined the streets of downtown Annapolis for the Annapolis Pride Parade. (Photo by Jaime Thompson courtesy Fleur de Lis Photography)

Reston Pride (restonpiride.org) holds its annual festival at Lake Anne Plaza (1609 Washington Place) in Reston, Va. on Saturday, June 3 from 12-6 p.m., according to the Facebook event page.

Last year’s Reston Pride festival was held at Lake Anne Plaza. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Ellicott City, Md. holds OEC Pride (visitoldellicottcity.com/events/oec-pride) on June 3-4 in Old Ellicott City. Events include a mascara run up and down Main Street and a movie presentation of “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert”. 

Suffolk, Va. holds its third annual Suffolk Pride Festival (facebook.com/SuffolkPrideVA) on Saturday, June 3 from 5-8 p.m. at Bennetts Creek Park (3000 Bennetts Creek Park Road, Suffolk, Va.), according to the Facebook event page.

Portsmouth Pride Fest ’23 (portsmouthprideva.com) is the second annual LGBTQ community celebration in Portsmouth, Va. The festival is to be held on Saturday, June 3 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at the Portsmouth Festival Field next to Atlantic Union Pavilion, according to the Facebook event page.

The Alexandria LGBTQ Task Force presents the sixth annual Alexandria Pride (alexandriava.gov/LGBTQ) at Alexandria City Hall in Market Square of Old Town Alexandria, Va. (301 King Street) on Saturday, June 3 from 1-5 p.m.

Newport News, Va. has its first I Am What I Am (IAWIA) Pride Festival on Sunday, June 4 from 12-7 p.m. at Tradition Brewing Company (700 Thimble Shoals Boulevard, Newport News, Va.), according to the Facebook event page.

The 2023 Cumberland Pride Festival (cumberlandpride.org) will be held at Canal Place (13 Canal Street, Columbia, Md.) Sunday, June 4 from 12-4 p.m., according to the Facebook event page.

The 2022 Cumberland Pride Festival was held at Canal Place in Cumberland, Md. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Culpepper County in rural Virginia will be getting its very first pride celebration with Culpepper Pride Festival (culpeperpride.com) on Sunday, June 4 from 12-5 p.m. at Mountain Run (10753 Mountain Run Lake Road, Culpepper, Va.). An after-hours 21+ drag show will be held.

Equality Loudoun’s “Across the Decades” 2023 Loudoun Pride Festival (eqloco.com) will be held on Sunday, June 4 from 1-7 p.m. at Claude Moore Park (21668 Heritage Farm Ln, Sterling, Va.). This is a ticketed event with a $5 general admission.

Last year’s Loudoun Pride. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

Delaware Pride (delawarepride.org) is being celebrated as a festival on Saturday, June 10 at Legislative Hall (411 Legislative Avenue, Dover, Del.) from 10 a.m.-5 p.m. according to the Facebook page.

D.C.’s massive Capital Pride (capitalpride.org) includes the 2023 Capital Pride Parade on Saturday, June 10 and the 2023 Capital Pride Festival on Pennsylvania Avenue on Sunday, June 11. On top of the many official events, there are a great number of parties in venues throughout the city over the week, including the not-to-be-missed Pride on the Pier and Fireworks Show, held 2-9 p.m. on Saturday, June 10 at the Wharf. There are two timed VIP sessions that include catered food and open bar. The region’s only Pride fireworks display, sponsored by the Leonard-Litz Foundation, takes place at 9 p.m. Visit prideonthepierdc.com for tickets and information.

Jerry Houston and Elizabethany of HOT 99.5 served as emcees of the 2022 Capital Pride Festival. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)

The Third annual Pride in the ViBe, will be held at ViBe Park (1810 Cyprus Avenue, Virginia Beach, Va.) on Sunday, June 11 from 1-6 p.m., according to the Facebook event page.

Scenic Chesapeake, Va. is the backdrop for Pride in the ‘Peake 2023 at City Park Section B next to the basketball courts on Sunday, July 11, according to an allevents.in posting.

Eastern Panhanlde Pride is to be held on Saturday, June 17 from 12-5 p.m. in downtown Martinsburg, W.Va., according to EPP’s Facebook page.

The Delmarva Pride Center presents DELAMRVA Pride (delmarvapridecenter.com) with events from June 16-18. The DELMARVA Pride Festival is to be held on Saturday, June 17 along South Harrison Street in downtown Easton, Md. Other events include a drag show and a Sunday brunch, according to the Pride Center’s Facebook page.

The Ghent Business Association presents Ghent Pride “Party at the Palace Shops” on Tuesday, June 20 from 6-10 p.m. at The Palace Shops and Staton (301 West 21st Street, Norfolk, Va.), according to the Facebook event page. This is a ticketed event with general admission $13.

The Human Rights Commission of the City of Rockville holds the seventh annual Rockville Pride (rockvillemd.gov/2276/Rockville-Pride) on Saturday, June 24 from 1-4 p.m. at Rockville Town Square (131 Gibbs Street, Rockville, Md.).

Arlington Pride (arlvapride.com) holds events from June 23-25 that include a pageant, a brunch, a festival and an afterparty. The Arlington Pride Festival returns for its second year on June 24 from 12-7 p.m. at the Rosslyn Gateway Park (1300 Lee Highway, Arlington, Va.), according to the Eventbrite listing.

Fredericksburg Pride (fxbgpride.org) holds events throughout the month, but everything culminates in the Pride March and then Festival on Saturday, June 24. The Pride March is held at Riverfront Park (705 Sophia Street, Fredericksburg, Va.) at 10 followed by the Festival at 11 a.m.-5 p.m. at Old Mill Park (2201 Caroline Street, Fredericksburg, Va.).

The 10th anniversary Frederick Pride (frederickpride.org) is to be held at Carroll Creek Linear Park on Saturday, June 24 from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. with food, music, drag, vendors and more, according to the Facebook event page.

Chasity Vain performed at last year’s Frederick Pride. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

The Salisbury Pride (salisburyprideparade.com) Parade and Festival is on Saturday, June 24. The Parade begins at 2 p.m. at West Main Street and Camden Street. The parade moves along Main with the festival following the parade at 2:30. Magnolia Applebottom is the headliner and grand marshall, according to Salisbury Pride’s Facebook page.

The “Break Free 23” Hampton Roads Pride (hamptonroadspride.org) is set for Saturday, June 24 at Town Point Park (113 Waterside Drive, Norfolk, Va.) and includes the famous boat parade.

The Pride Center of Maryland hosts a number of Baltimore Pride (baltimorepride.org) events June 19-25. The big events include the annual parade and block party on Charles Street on Saturday, June 24 and the festival at Druid Hill Park on Sunday.

The 2022 Baltimore Pride Parade was held on June 25. (Washington Blade photo by Linus Berggren)

July and beyond

You can look forward to LGBTQ pride celebrations in Harrisburg, Pa. and the Maryland towns of Hagerstown and Westminster as well as Black Pride RVA in Richmond, Va. in July. Other municipalities have decided to hold their pride celebrations a little later in the year. These pride events include Winchester Pride in Winchester, Va. (Sept. 9), Shenandoah Valley Pride in Harrisonburg, Va. (Sept. 16), SWVA Pridefest in Vinton, Va. (Sept. 16), Virginia Pridefest in Richmond, Va. (Sept. 23), TriPride in Johnson City, Tenn. (Sept. 23), Staunton Pride in Staunton, Va. (Oct. 7), Upper Chesapeake Bay Pride in Harve de Grace, Md. (Oct. 7), Pride Franklin County in Chambersburg, Pa. (Oct. 8) and Laurel Pride in Laurel, Md. (Oct. 14).

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Self-identification: What the plus in ‘LGBTQ+’ means

Terminology rapidly expanding into mainstream dialogue

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(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

For a long time, many Americans refrained from talking about sexual orientation and gender identity because it was taboo. While these conversations are still uncomfortable for some people, others stay quiet simply because they’re afraid of saying the wrong thing. 

Among allies, there is fear that misgendering someone or misspeaking about another person’s sexuality will be viewed as being less inclusive. Meanwhile, older generations, even those within the LGBTQ+ community, also struggle to keep up as terms beyond “LGBTQ” rapidly enter mainstream lingo.

In either scenario, the plus in “LGBTQ+” can be misunderstood. But as awareness of these terms continues to rise, it’s important to know what they mean. 

Below are some of the most popular but misunderstood terms of self-identification, compiling gender identities (one’s concept of self as male, female, a blend of both or neither and what they call themselves) and sexual orientation (how one identifies in terms of whom they are romantically and/or sexually attracted to). 

Asexual refers to someone who lacks a sexual attraction or interest in sexual activities with others. Often called “ace(s)” for short, asexual individuals exist on a spectrum, wherein someone can be completely or partially asexual, meaning they may experience no, little, or conditional sexual attraction to another person. Little interest in sex, however, doesn’t diminish a person’s desire for emotionally intimate relationships. 

Cisgender, or simply “cis,” describes a person whose gender identity aligns with the sex assigned to them at birth. The terms cisgender and transgender originate from Latin-derived prefixes of “cis,” meaning “on this side of,” and “trans,” meaning “across from.” Just as “trans” can be added to terms describing gender to identify someone as a trans-woman or trans-man, the same can be done to say cis-woman or cis-man to identify someone as adhering to the sex associated with their gender at birth.

Meanwhile, gender non-conforming refers to someone who doesn’t behave in line with the traditional expectations of their gender. These individuals may express their gender in ways that aren’t easily categorizable as a specific gender. While many gender non-conforming people also identify as transgender, that isn’t the case for all gender non-conforming people.

Under the larger umbrella of gender non-conforming identity, non-binary describes a person who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman. Non-binary people may identify as being both a man and a woman, somewhere in between, or completely outside of those labels. 

Some non-binary people identify as transgender, but non-binary also references other identities such as agender (a person who does not identify as any gender), bigender (a person with two gender identities or a combination of two gender identities), genderqueer or gender-fluid.

Genderqueer people commonly reject notions of rigid categories of gender and embrace a fluidity of gender identity and sometimes sexual orientation. People with this identity may see themselves as being both male and female, or neither as they fall outside of binary gender norms. Gender-fluid is also within this range of non-conformity as these individuals don’t identify with a single fixed gender.

In terms of sexuality, pansexual refers to someone with the potential for emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to people of any gender. These feelings don’t necessarily arise simultaneously or to the same degree, and sometimes the term is used interchangeably with bisexual.

More recently, the two-spirit gender identity has enjoyed more mainstream use. Chosen to describe certain North American Indigenous and Canadian First Nation people who identify with a third gender, the term implies a masculine and feminine spirit in one body. 

Other gender expressions such as masc, referring to representations of masculinity without necessarily claiming a relationship to manhood, and femme, meaning expressions of femininity regardless of gender and relations to womanhood, are also used to describe how people dynamically express gender outside of gender norms.

Yet, just as terminology for self-identification is introduced, so are also new ways to describe how an individual feels about their identity. One term that everyone can relate to or aspire to have is gender euphoria – the joyful experience and sense of self that occurs when a person’s authentic gender is expressed and acknowledged by themselves and/or by others.

Most importantly, though, LGBTQ+ people use a variety of terms to identify themselves, some of which may not be mentioned in this article. Always listen for a person’s self-identification to use the preferred terms for them. 

(The Human Rights Campaign and Johns Hopkins University contributed to this report.)

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