a&e features
Rehoboth Women’s FEST: We’ve come a long way, baby
Annual beach celebration features dances, speakers, yoga, and much more

It’s taken more than two decades for an idea born of fear, frustration, and tragic stories to turn into a joyous four-day festival celebrating more than 20 years of bringing women together at the beach.
When CAMP Rehoboth’s Women’s FEST kicks off on Thursday, April 7, the event celebrates more than 20 years and the societal changes in attitude and legislation achieved for the LGBTQ community during these past two decades. The FEST, mirroring society, has grown and changed with the times. For 2022, it’s a time for camaraderie, nationally known entertainers, education, sports, speakers, and fun.
But back in 2000, prior to marriage equality laws, there were too many horror stories. Area women could lose everything they owned because they lacked the proper legal paperwork to claim their rights to homes or bank accounts after a bad romantic break-up or the death of a partner.
Too often, a grieving, long-time partner would be left homeless and helpless as parents or siblings of the deceased swept into town, claimed the home, and evicted the partner. This happened more than most people realize.
Likewise, in 2000 there were far fewer LGBTQ-welcoming medical practices. Many women avoided doctors or screenings for fear of coming out as lesbian to providers. Sadly, this reticence to seek treatment sometimes led to tragedy.
To try and help halt these horrors, at the turn of the millennium a handful of women worked with CAMP Rehoboth, the LGBTQ non-profit service organization on Baltimore Avenue in Rehoboth Beach, to get something started.
What Did These Gals Do?
In April 2001, nine women volunteers, this author among them, put together a half-day event hosting speakers on women’s health, financial planning, and legal protection for lesbians. The speakers provided advice and identified gay-friendly resources for women whose fear kept them from taking actions they needed for wellness and security.
Now-retired attorney Ellen Feinberg says, “At that time, in Delaware, there were absolutely no legal protections for lesbians, and many women did not know what legal paperwork they needed to protect themselves, their relationships, and their finances.”
That first morning conference, upstairs at the Rehoboth Library, saw 75 local women packed into the small space, eager to hear advice specifically pertinent to their lives.
They learned about mortgages with “rights of survivorship” so the family of a deceased partner could not claim the couple’s home; they learned of medical practices that treated gays and lesbians with respect; they learned from medical and financial professionals how to find the resources they needed.
From those original planners — Andrea Andrus, Ellen Feinberg, Joan Glass, Maggie Ottato, Leslie Rogan, Maggie Shaw, Libby Stiff, Bea Wagner, and me—came a second conference a year later. Added volunteers helped produce a full-day event at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center, complete with opening remarks by Delaware’s then-Gov. Ruth Ann Minner.
Her speech was about women in politics, without a single mention of the word ‘lesbian’ or the LGBTQ community. “But she came to us to speak,” a committee member said, “and for that we were thrilled.”
Leslie Rogan recalls more than 200 women attending that second year, which, along with Gov. Minner, included nationally known 1970s activist and musical icon Margie Adam. “Actually, it was 236 people attending,” Feinberg adds, “not that I was counting,” she says, smiling.
Following that weekend, Feinberg and Rogan, and friends Barb Fischel and Wendy Grooms, formed an entertainment committee to find performers willing to come to Rehoboth. “We started by looking to see which entertainers were booked on Olivia’s women’s cruises,” says Leslie.
“We really had no idea about producing; we were flying by the seat of our pants,” Feinberg recalls.
By 2003, the event became Women’s Weekend, headlined by comic Suzanne Westenhoefer and Olivia Records legend Teresa Trull. In addition to educational seminars, some fun sessions included Mixology and Two-Stepping.
By 2004, the word was out. Women converged from Virginia, D.C., New Jersey, and Pennsylvania to hear women’s music pioneer Cris Williamson, with the event drawing the largest crowd yet.
As news spread, agents and entertainer reps reached out to CAMP Rehoboth with inquiries from their clients. Over the next few years, well-known lesbian comics Kate Clinton, Vickie Shaw, and Karen Williams appeared, along with songwriter Tret Fure and famed singer Holly Near.
When the iconic women’s travel company Olivia came onboard as a sponsor, many, many local women learned about the company and signed up for their all-women Caribbean cruises, where they could mingle with gay women from all over the country.
On one cruise, as a swarm of women posed for photos in their Rehoboth T-shirts, a bystander asked “What’s Re-Ho-BOTH, a sorority? A church? A college? What is it?”
Linda Kemp, Olivia’s director of strategic sales and marketing, answered, “Rehoboth is a gay-friendly beach town in Delaware where all these women are from.”
“But where’s Delaware?” the onlooker asked. Linda rolled her eyes and offered a geography lesson.
Not only was Women’s Weekend promoted, but women from all over the country learned about the resort town of Rehoboth Beach.
Sometime in those early years, artist Geri Dibiase offered up a vibrant photo design for a Women’s Weekend T-shirt to be sold at the event and she’s been donating new designs each year since. In addition, Geri donates the original artwork to be auctioned off to raise money for CAMP Rehoboth.
“I’m so grateful for the opportunity to produce the T-shirts and proud to have my art featured in this nationally recognized event,” Dibiase says.
By 2008 and 2009, as the CAMP Rehoboth office expanded into a Community Center, it provided a welcoming hub for all the women converging downtown each April. And there was a new intimate performance space for musicians plus theatrical events like a production of “The Vagina Monologues” and a one-woman show about journalist Molly Ivins.
Women’s Weekend now had nine years under its belt, and included events like golf, craft fairs, and more to make it a beloved spring custom.
And Then Came FEST
For the 10th anniversary in 2010, the weekend became FEST, an acronym for Fun, Entertainment, Spring Tradition.
New partnerships saw Olivia as presenting sponsor and a collaboration with Ladies 2000, the famed Philly dance promoters, bringing a fantastic Tea Dance to the mix. Wednesday was now Locals Night with a big Welcome Party (now funded by an endowment from the late Georgette Krenkel), plus added events like a bike ride, Rehoboth walking tour, juried photo/art show featuring women artists, and singles speed dating.
“My now-spouse Diane and I started dating right before Women’s FEST 2010,” says Rehoboth resident Jennifer Rubenstein, “and it was very odd going to speed dating, where we did the round robin with a bunch of other singles but kept a watchful eye on each other.” It turned out well.
A decade in the making, the 2011 FEST was now the largest women’s event in the mid-Atlantic. A partnership with the Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition (DBCC) added the Broadwalk on the Boardwalk, a walk to help raise funds to fight breast cancer and honor those affected by it.
“A flood of pink-wearing walkers showed up, some with their dogs, also in pink, and some supportive guys in pink boas and drag,” says one participant. “It was fun, and also serious, with a moving ceremony at the end. I loved it.”
Volunteer Kathy Wiz, whose sister had the disease, helped bring CAMP Rehoboth and DBCC together for the event. ”For me, the Broadwalk is a way of showing gratitude for my sister’s survival.”
Since 2011, Broadwalk on the Boardwalk has raised over $75,000 in donations benefiting the Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition.
Of course, over the years dozens and dozens of volunteers populated the official FEST Committee, with steadfast support from the CAMP Rehoboth staff and Board.
“I clearly remember that first event, filling 75 seats at the library, hearing the presenters, and thinking this was new, uncharted territory, and hoping it could be expanded,” says long-time CAMP Rehoboth Board Member Jane Blue. “Boy, that was an understatement!”
In conjunction with national advances in LGBTQ rights, specifically the lifting of the ban on gay and lesbian service members, the 2012 FEST welcomed special guest Col. Grethe Cammermeyer. Instrumental in overturning the military’s “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” law. Cammermeyer hosted a Saturday Q&A after the showing of the film “Serving in Silence,” based on her life story and starring Glenn Close.
Musician Tret Fure recalls sitting with her hero, Col. Cammermeyer, in the front row at comic Suzanne Westenheofer’s show. “When my friend Suzanne looked down and saw us together in the front row, she almost fell off the stage.”
But 2013 brought drama. Out and proud country singer Chely Wright, pregnant with twins, was to be the headliner. Unfortunately, her doctor put her on bed rest a week before the show. She sent her apologies and the committee freaked out!
“We sold 700 tickets and had no entertainer. We were hysterical,” recalls Committee Chair Dottie Cirelli. Frantic committee members hit their phones and by the end of the day, comic Kate Clinton shuffled her schedule and bailed the event out. It was another huge success and Chely Wright’s twins were born happy and healthy.
Making good on her earlier promise, Chely performed to a packed house the next year and the Broadwalk was bigger than ever—honoring not only survivors and sisters lost to breast cancer, but adding women and men touched by all cancers.
By 2015, with stunning LGBTQ victories like marriage equality and protections for transgender rights, the FEST’s original workshop concept morphed into invited guest speakers sharing their stories. Guests have included Feminist Majority leader Eleanor Smeal, Congresswoman Lisa Blunt Rochester, transgender activist Sarah McBride, and the brave D.C. law enforcement officer who helped save lives during a mass shooting at a congressional softball game.
Two-time headliner comic Poppy Champlin performed and offered a stand-up comedy workshop. “I’ve loved my times at FEST, the spirit of the women, the huge number of women flocking to town. And doing a show for 800 women is a real thrill for a comedian.”
The rest, as they say, is herstory.
In 2018, FEST statistics showed 3,832 seats filled at 23 different venues plus a new partnership with Beebe Medical Center for a health fair at the community center—further fulfilling one of the original Women’s Project goals.
For 2019, the numbers were even bigger. And while there was still emphasis on topics especially important for lesbian and transgender women, the FEST had become popular with a diverse group of attendees.
Rehoboth resident Deb Ward said, “My mother-in-law started visiting us on Women’s Weekend and loved it—and as a breast cancer survivor walked in the Broadwalk. Next thing I knew, her sister started coming, then my own sister joined us. It’s a spectacular event for all women, and it’s become a family tradition.”
It was different, 22 years later, far from when women had no idea how to protect themselves legally or find a welcoming doctor. “Our community is being courted now,” Ellen Feinberg said, “and everything is so open and accessible.”
It was a long way, baby, from those turn-of-the-century workshops at the library. That fledgling Women’s Project Committee launched the event, then they and so many other hard-working volunteers took the idea and ran with it—with no plans to stop celebrating anytime soon.
Then Came 2020
The 2020 FEST, a special 20th anniversary event featuring The Indigo Girls, was canceled due to the COVID pandemic. Bummer!
One bright spot was that all of our wonderful sponsors kept their money in the FEST pot for the future. We love our sponsors! Especially presenting sponsor Olivia Travel and Legacy sponsors Jenn Harpel, Jeanine O’Donnel, and Lana Warfield.
The 2021 FEST happened online, with a few Zoom events and some fun in the midst of the dark days.
But now, FEST is live again for 2022. Our wonderful sponsors are back, country singer superstar Chely Wright and the hilarious Funny Girlz will be performing (among others), and we are back on track.
FEST Passes are now on sale, as are individual event tickets—visit camprehoboth.com. to purchase yours.
Oh yes, we HAVE come a long way, baby!
There are many events associated with Women’s FEST. Visit camprehoboth.com for the full schedule. A few highlights:
• Thursday, April 7, 7 p.m., Georgette Krenkel Welcome Dance Party – free, Rehoboth Beach Convention Center.
• Friday, April 8, 12-1 p.m., Concert: Singer Regina Sayles—$20. CAMP Rehoboth Community Center.
• Friday, April 8, 8 p.m., Chely Wright concert— FEST Pass or $40 individual ticket. Rehoboth Beach Convention Center.
• Saturday, April 9, 9 a.m-3 p.m. Women’s FEST EXPO – free. Rehoboth Beach Convention Center
• Saturday, April 9, 12-1 p.m., keynote speaker Del. Sen. Marie Pinkney — free. Rehoboth Beach Sands Hotel Ball Room 1
• Saturday, April 9, 6-10:30 p.m. Women’s FEST Dance Party, $15. Located at the Sands Hotel Ballroom
• Sunday, April 10, 9-11 a.m. 12th Annual Broadwalk on the Boardwalk—free at CAMP Rehoboth. Fundraiser for Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition

Author Fay Jacobs is one of the founders of Rehoboth’s Women’s FEST.
(This story was originally published in Letters from CAMP Rehoboth. Fay Jacobs is the author of five published books and is touring with her one-woman sit-down comedy show, Aging Gracelessly. Her reports on Rehoboth’s LGBTQ history can be heard on RadioRehoboth, 99.1.)
a&e features
D.C.’s most eligible queer singles
It’s not too late to find a date for Valentine’s Day

Each year, the Blade seeks our readers’ help in identifying the most eligible local queer singles. Here is this year’s list.
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
Hallie O’Rourke, 26, non-profit management, lesbian

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who is kind, loyal, intelligent, funny, and who shares my interests while also introducing me to new things. I’m looking for a long term partner who can make me laugh every day and who inspires me to be a better version of myself.
Biggest turn off: Flaky and indecisive people.
Biggest turn on: (Over) communication, taking initiative, making plans.
Hobbies: I enjoy reading and am always in search of the next great book. I also adore arts and crafts and collage frequently. I love experimenting with new mediums and exploring different art forms.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal is to be more outgoing and comfortable introducing myself to strangers. I’d love to go on more solo trips and meet new people around the world.
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither at the moment, but I am looking to get a cat in the near future.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I’d like to be with someone who shares my core political values and beliefs.
Celebrity crush? Ruby Cruz
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I’m a huge fan of “The Room” (AKA the worst movie of the 21st century) and have met two of the cast members, including the infamous Tommy Wiseau.
Danielle Pasekoff, 25, Democratic strategist and community organizer, lesbian/she/her

What are you looking for in a mate? A genuine partnership! A hopeless romantic, good listener, always down for an adventure and perpetually optimistic.
Biggest turn off: Poor communication, dishonesty, apathy, loud chewing
Biggest turn on: NJGs (Nice Jewish Girls)
Hobbies: Watching reality TV, running, singing in the shower, going to concerts, game nights with friends, shopping, running a community group for queer women and trans folks! Check out DC Gay Girls Plus!
What is your biggest goal for 2025? Finally make a dent in my ever-growing TBR book stack.
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither but ultimately want both.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Not in 2025!
Celebrity crush? Caitlin Clark
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I have six tattoos
Mauricio Pita, 39, actor/producer, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? Confidence, authenticity, creativity, resiliency, kindness, humor, and attraction. The rest we can figure out.
Biggest turn off: Shame
Biggest turn on: A well-executed wink.
Hobbies: I love stories (movies, theater, books, poetry, gaming, music, writing, etc.) both as a receiver and a giver, dancing like no one (or everyone) is watching, and exploring new spaces.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? To see more of my family.
Pets, kids, or neither? I have the most chill Chihuahua, I’m open to all.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It all depends, but we must agree on freedom.
Celebrity crush? Right now, Drew Starkey from “Queer”
Name one obscure fact about yourself? My other career choices were Paleontology and Computer Science.
Portia McDaniels, 39, attorney, lesbian

What are you looking for in a mate? A thoughtful, kind monogamist woman to share life’s adventures. Willingness to laugh at my bad jokes is a plus. Find me on instagram @esqmasc
Biggest turn off: Bad hygiene, rudeness especially to people in customer service, lateness without any warning
Biggest turn on: Effective communication, good sense of humor, loves fitness and staying active, a great signature scent
Hobbies: Weightlifting, reading everything I’ve bought on Audible, trying new cocktail bars. During good weather, I enjoy kayaking and hiking. Soon to be: improving my Spanish and relearning Mandarin.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? Hitting some new PRs in the gym, and being consistent with the gentle art (Brazilian jiu jitsu)
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither right now, but I definitely want kids. Former dog mom who would love another pooch. Not opposed to cats, but they make me sneezy.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It depends
Celebrity crush? Janelle Monae, Zaynah Bear
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I was on NPR in college
Lily Kardell, 32, garden center manager, queer/lesbian/she/her

What are you looking for in a mate? A kind, confident soul who thrives on both independence and deep emotional connection. They’re creative and a great communicator. Their love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time.
Biggest turn off: Mean-spiritedness and arrogance.
Biggest turn on: Empathy, passion, and a great sense of humor
Hobbies: I play weekly in a pool league (go Troublemakers!). I also enjoy kayaking, paddleboarding, and cycling in the summer. Ice skating, reading, fiber arts, and crafting are a few of my other favorite pastimes.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? I’m starting the next chapter of my career and I’m determined to make it the best one yet! I also want to finish one of my many work in progress craft projects!
Pets, kids, or neither? I’m all about that cool gay aunt life, but prefer to live as a pet and plant mom! I have an adorable, orange cat named Willow. She’s a rambunctious, little rescue and I love her like a daughter.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In DC?!? No! Free Palestine, Black Lives Matter, trans rights are human rights!
Celebrity crush? This is such a fun question and was somehow the hardest for me to answer. I’d have to go with Sandra Oh, Niecey Nash, and weirdly even Jeff Goldblum!
Name one obscure fact about yourself? At age 11, I won first place in the Greater Washington Soap Box Derby Race (like the large ones that you can actually sit in). We raced down Constitution Avenue and finished right next to the Capitol.
David Draper, 32, early talent acquisition recruiter, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who knows what he wants and is looking for someone who also knows what he wants. I’d love to find a person who works on himself and is constantly striving to improve and be the best version of himself he can be (mentally, physically, emotionally). As someone who really enjoys “downtime” and alone time I’m looking for someone who I can be around and just “be” and enjoy each other’s company. I enjoy nights out, but I have no problem calling it early-ish (like 12:30AM) and wouldn’t mind a person who likes to go out, but is also fine with leaving the bar/party early to go home and enjoy some downtime and hangout in a more peaceful environment.
Biggest turn off: My biggest turn off is assuming someone is feeling another way when they told you they were feeling one way (i.e. “Are you upset?” “No I’m not upset.” “Well you see upset.”). Another big turn off is “one upping.” This applies to both positive things as well as negative things. And when people lack empathy.
Biggest turn on: My biggest non-physical turn on is emotional intelligence, a sense of humor/quick wit, and an appreciation of sarcasm.
Hobbies: I’m a certified Bravoholic and consider watching The Real Housewives a hobby. I also have a Peloton bike and enjoy running, so staying active is important to me. I also attend a lot of concerts and Broadway shows, so my Ticketmaster app always has at least 2-3 tickets for upcoming events at various concert venues in and around D.C.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to continue prioritizing my physical, mental, and emotional health. Toward the end of 2024, I started a journey to develop better habits around working out, eating, drinking, and sleeping. This year, I’m looking forward to maintaining and building on these healthier habits. A big milestone for me will be running my first marathon at the 2025 Chicago Marathon this fall.
Pets, kids, or neither? I’m a proud Cat Dad to Linus and Louie.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Typically no. By no means would I expect to agree with everything, but would we need to agree on the fundamentals especially on social issues.
Celebrity crush? Some combination of Chris Mazdzer, Jonathan Bailey, and/or Patrick (from Schitt’s Creek)
Name one obscure fact about yourself? When I was 5, I refused to re-wear pairs of socks and “demanded” to my mom that I have a new pair every day… that didn’t last. I guess you could say I was “particular.”
Finn Vigeland, 32, transportation planner, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? In no particular order: a guy who fits right in with my friends and family, whose intellect and hobbies charm me, who’s professionally motivated and loves what he does, who wants to travel with me, and who makes me laugh.
Biggest turn off: Laziness/unprofessionalism, being uninterested in new adventures, disrespect to waitstaff, over dependence on cars
Biggest turn on: Good dancer, takes the bus, is smart but loves a stupid joke, becomes friends with my friends in his own right
Hobbies: Biking, board games, dance parties with friends, hosting Survivor watch parties, kickball, nerding out about transit, constructing crossword puzzles for the New York Times
What is your biggest goal for 2025? tbh, find a boyfriend!
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither currently, open to both
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Political views are a reflection of our values. If we aren’t aligned on values, we’re not a match.
Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey but for at least the last 10 years! I’ve been on the bandwagon!
Name one obscure fact about yourself? In college I often gave celebrities and their kids campus tours. The coolest was Rob Lowe, the most random was a Korean R&B legend who brought a camera crew; I wound up on Korean TV in a reality series about her life.
SC Nealy, 35, mental health therapist, author, business owner, queer/gender fluid

What are you looking for in a mate? Emotional intelligence, strong communication, loyalty, honesty, and a whole lot of humor
Biggest turn off: Cannot stand the smell of weed or cigarettes. It’s just not for me to be around!
Biggest turn on: Gentleness, passion, thoughtfulness, and quiet strength
Hobbies: I crochet little toy animals for friends and children, and I love to write. I also love socializing with my friends and being in community.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? Continue to expand my business LGBT+ Counseling Collaborative and bring accessible, queer-celebratory mental health services to the DMV area.
Pets, kids, or neither? I have two young daughters, and a dog and a cat. I accept people’s lives as they are and whatever comes with them.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I would not. My political views are based in human dignity and equality. If that’s not something you can agree with or if money comes before people, I have no interest in exposing myself to your viewpoints.
Celebrity crush? Ruby Rose
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I won the 2024 Humanitarian of the Year Award from the Virginia Counselors Association.
Logan Dulski, 25, graphic designer, non-binary pansexual

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s kind, funny, and more than a little nerdy — someone who can commit to the bit. Bonus points if they have a solid karaoke go-to and appreciate the magic of a well-organized notion board.
Biggest turn off: All the basic turn-offs like being rude to waitstaff or poor hygiene, but throw in being overly nonchalant.
Biggest turn on: Someone witty, considerate, and knows what they want
Hobbies: Playing Dungeons & Dragons (or any other ttrpgs), crochet, ballet, reading, playing video games, and tarot
What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to get my tarot deck, the Community & Connection Pocket Tarot, fully funded and printed by the end of the year.
Pets, kids, or neither? Yes to pets. Hard no to kids.
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not, especially if their views coincide with whether or not I should have basic human rights.
Celebrity crush? Rhea Ripley, Pedro Pascal, and all of the band Sleep Token
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I took over 9 years of Mandarin lessons as a kid and still don’t know a lick of Mandarin.
Tristan Gess, 26, consultant, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s ambitious and passionate about what they do—someone who’s always chasing their goals and excited about what’s next. I love going to workout classes, trying new coffee spots, and traveling, so it’d be great to have someone who’s up for all of that too. And most importantly, I need someone who can handle a little friendly teasing but isn’t afraid to give it back.
Biggest turn off: A big turn-off for me is when someone doesn’t take care of themselves or prioritize good hygiene. It’s not about being perfect, but I’m really drawn to people who put effort into their well-being and take pride in feeling their best.
Biggest turn on: My biggest turn-on is someone who’s confident but also charismatic. There’s something really attractive about a person who knows their worth, carries themselves well, and can effortlessly connect with people. Confidence without arrogance and a natural charm go a long way.
Hobbies: My hobbies include going to Barry’s and Solidcore, spending time with my family at the lake, and staying up to date with energy and sustainability initiatives around the world. I love a good workout, quality time with the people who matter most, and keeping up with ways to make a positive impact on the planet.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? My goal for 2025 is to be more mindful and present in every moment. I want to trust the process, knowing that just because one door closes doesn’t mean another isn’t opening. It’s about staying grounded, making bold choices with confidence, and being open to whatever opportunities come my way.
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I feel pretty grounded and educated in my own political views, and while I’m always open to hearing new perspectives and having thoughtful discussions, I do think there’s a fine line when it comes to politics. Healthy conversations are great, but at a certain point, fundamental differences can become a deal breaker.
Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey
Name one obscure fact about yourself? I fell off the lower deck of a cruise ship in Turkey once!
Sisi Reid, 32, actor/dancer/theater artist/educator, Black Queer Sensual Femme, Pansexual

What are you looking for in a mate? Compassionate and thoughtful, playful, affectionate, practices wellness (physical, spiritual, emotional, mental), loves travel, values growth and self accountability, loves traveling together, open to navigating travel and distance in our relationship (I travel for work and solo travel), a willingness to co-design a committed relationship that is non escalator/unique to us, and values peace of mind and peace in home.
Biggest turn off: Mean/unkind, unwillingness to listen/learn something new/be curious, lack of follow up with actions, and arrogance
Biggest turn on: Joy/your own sense of what nourishes your joy and practices you enjoy in your alone time, whole body listening, remembering and reflecting back to me (in your own way) things I do/say, someone who has dreams and goals for themselves
Hobbies: Dancing, being in nature, traveling locally and internationally, watching tv/movies, coloring/sketching, and exploring local arts events, festivals, museums.
What is your biggest goal for 2025? To center my physical wellness, so my mind has more peace and to make and perform my solo dance performances on international stages.
Pets, kids, or neither? Neither
Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes, but if the views aren’t rooted in Black liberation, in justice, and a radical reimagining of these current systems, nah I don’t want that.
Celebrity crush? Rutina Wesley
Name one obscure fact about yourself? My spirituality is nature, magical, kinky, and fueled by my imagination.
a&e features
Valentine’s gifts for the queers you love
Fragrances, X-rated sweet treats, candles, and more

Put a little love in your heart. That’s what Jackie DeShannon encouraged with her 1969 hit song of the same name, and it’s never been more appropriate than in the context of our current state of affairs. Mute the vitriol this Valentine’s Day and concentrate on what really matters – those you love and who love you back.
Gucci Guilty Love Edition

Sniffies? You’ll put the site on hold after a whiff of Gucci Guilty Love Edition on the nape of his neck – featuring captivating notes of juniper oil, orange flower absolute and aphrodisiatic Ambrofix – which one review claims to “make your brain sparkle like a fine Champagne.” Cheers to that. $25-$133, FragranceNet.com
Hunky Burning Love Pillow

Sweet dreams are on the docket when you rest your head on the Hunky Burning Love faux-suede square pillow printed with illustrations of shirtless himbos pining for your affection. An exercise in fantasy more than reality, but it beats sitting alone at a bar getting no attention at all. $30, ThePillowTopShop.com
Love Deck
What’s in the cards for your love life in 2025? Fuck around and find out with astrologist Lisa Stardust’s 70-card Love Deck, a tarot set of short spells, meditations and rituals designed to conjure enough love, passion, clarity and confidence to make Potion No. 9 jealous. $13, Amazon.com
‘Making the Case for Equality’
We’ll continue to fight the good fight over the next four years and beyond – perhaps harder than ever – and Lambda Legal’s “Making the Case for Equality,” a detailed half-century history of our hard-won judicial victories, is a solid reminder of how far we’ve come in the war for LGBTQ+ rights. $45, Amazon.com
Lola Blankets

Schedule an at-home streaming marathon of this year’s Best Picture noms before the big night – there’s a lot to love in 2024’s Oscar picks – and the coziest way to settle in is all snuggled up in the squishiest Lola blankets, reminiscent of the adorable ripples of the cutest Shar Pei. Pick up a couple for the cuddle puddle. $109-$299, LolaBlankets.com
Asa Akira x Cake Life Cookies

Cue the collaboration you didn’t see coming: Adult film star Asa Akira teams up with award-winning trans-owned bakery Cake Life Bake Shop for its sweet-and-spicy Conversation Heart Sugar Cookies, featuring Akira’s XXX-tra special curated box decorated with NFSW phrases like “Cowgirl,” “Cream Pie,” and the ever-subtle “Anal” – that are sure to leave mouths agog at your Gaylentine’s get-together. $19-$21, CakeLifeBakeShop.square.site
Mind Games Candles

Since the late 1990s, the Backstreet Boys have implored us to quit playin’ games with our lovers’ hearts, which is probably why we play mind games instead – and now they come in luxury scents like Jasmine Milk, Tobacco Tonka Bean and Cherry Sandalwood, so you can enjoy mood lighting with your gaslighting. $135, MindGamesFragrance.com
Delysia Chocolates

Inspired by Greek Goddess-of-Love Aphrodite, Delysia Chocolatier’s 16-piece, limited-edition truffle collection includes four each of symbolic Passion (almond-honey-fig), Adoration (raspberry-rose petal-hibiscus), Unity (pomegranate-strawberry), and Love (spiced wine-berry) bite-size chocolates rich enough for savoring and abundant enough for sharing. $60, Delysia.com
DIY Whiskey Hot Sauce

Variety is the spice of life in Thoughtfully Gourmet’s Whiskey-Infused DIY Hot Sauce Kit that combines your favorite cereal spirit with high-quality global ingredients, like Mexican hot peppers, to create sophisticated flavor experiences of varying Scoville heat levels, handsomely housed in fancy decanters. Recipe book, spices and seasonings included; alcohol and antacids are not. $20, Amazon.com
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBTQ lifestyle expert whose work has been published in more than 100 outlets around the world. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.
a&e features
Boomer Banks brings beats to MAL Weekend
From porn to the DJ booth, ’I’m the happiest I’ve ever been’

If you enjoy gay adult films, there is a high likelihood you have seen or at least heard of Boomer Banks. His tattoos, muscles, masculine presence, and thick mustache have made him one of the most recognizable — and awarded — Latinx gay adult performers in the industry. This weekend, Banks heads to the nation’s capital to partake in Mid-Atlantic Leather weekend.
As D.C. polishes its leather gay apparel for the annual MAL weekend, Banks, alongside a slew of other gay adult performers and leather lovers, is getting ready to make adult content, meet fans, buy some new leather goods, and perform in the name of sexual expression.
This year will be different for Banks compared to his past MAL weekends, though. He will still be go-go dancing as he has in years past, but this year he has a new hat on — headlining DJ. The Blade sat down with the 44-year-old performer to discuss his sex work career, the changing industry, and his passion for DJing.
On Friday night, Banks is one of three headlining DJs for the main dance event of the night, UNCUT XL. He explained that his love for music has always been there, but since the death of his best friend, with whom he connected on a shared love of music, his sets mean more than ever to him now.
“I loved music for my whole life,” Banks told the Blade when asked about how he got started in music. “My proximity to legendary New York DJs has always been there. I lost my best friend and brother over two years ago, and it just caused a lot of changes [for me]. We both loved music so much … I was talking to one of my DJ friends [about this connection to music], and they were talking to me, and all of a sudden I’m at their studio, playing around with the controller and all that, and it just happened. Here we are, two years later, and now I’m headlining at MAL with some legendary DJs that I have been a fan of since I was young.”
Banks went on to explain that this connection and newfound passion for DJing is what has made his career shift from studio porn to a solo career easier. He also said the continued support from his house music fans has made him want to work even harder on creating memorable sets.
And create memorable sets he has. Banks has headlined events all across the country over the past two years — from Provincetown to Rehoboth Beach and even headlining Folsom, which is the biggest leather event of the year. He explained that he has one overwhelming emotion —gratitude.
“I’m really grateful that Zach [Renovatés] and everybody at Kinetic and Bunker have really taken a liking to my storytelling through music, because that’s what it is for me,” Banks said. “I like taking people on a journey. It’s usually my journey. But I read the crowd, I read energy, and I’m always smiling, and that’s the only place that I do smile. I feel like people often categorize me as intimidating, and a lot of times that’s what I got in the porn industry. But with DJing, the people are always like, ‘You’re so happy up there. You’re smiling all the time.’ And, yeah, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and it’s exciting. I love doing it, and I’m grateful and very humbled that people are seeing that this isn’t just a gimmick.”
He went on to explain that this happiness wasn’t always at the base of his work —especially when he was involved with the studio porn system with CockyBoys and Raging Stallion. Various factors, including race, he shared with the Blade, were why it was less than enjoyable at times. But it provided a platform in which he was able to grow and gave him an opportunity to help newcomers in the industry.
“When I got into porn, other brown men were not nice to me; other people of color [were not nice to me]. I thought that it would have been different. So when I was established, I made sure not to do that. I have a few little Banks boys that I nurtured into the industry, and, not to claim them, but it’s just so that they had someone to talk to because I didn’t have that.”
Despite some structural problems within the industry, Banks felt he was able to get what he needed from the career, including a paycheck and a platform.
“Porn did work out for me,” he said. “I was very fucking successful, and I was not white. I did the work, but I just couldn’t keep doing it any more. It wasn’t good for my mental health, and so I knew how to bow out. Who knows? It [studio porn days] might happen again. I don’t know, but I know for today, I love music. It’s my heart. I’m grateful for the platform that sex work gave me because it’s given me a heads up with the music.”
That music has kept him going. More specifically, New York house-style music has kept him going. Banks’s ability to take in the music he loves has made him a stronger DJ, he said.
“’I’m a New York house DJ,” he said. “That’s the style that I bring. The craziest it gets is like tech house and maybe some early 2000s mid-2000s circuit music. It’s what I grew up with and what I love and what I like to put out there. I’m really grateful that I was not only showing up to these gigs, but I was absorbing the art that is music in a way that it seeped into my pores and my soul, that now I can share how I feel about music, and that’s exciting.”
He touched on how although many people can be fans of DJ music, it takes more to become a successful DJ.
“The thing about music is you can’t fake music tastes. You can learn all the knobs and the technical parts of DJing, but if you’re not playing good music, and if the room isn’t vibing, it doesn’t matter.”
When asked about the current political climate—seeing as the host hotel for MAL weekend is a mere half mile from the Capitol building—Banks reflected on the importance of weekends like this for the LGBTQ community, which is increasingly facing the backlash of conservative politicians.
“We are in uncertain times,” he said. “These are the weekends where we’re able to be who we are. And it’s unfortunate that we have to still have these events to express ourselves. Because a lot of these guys, they wait their whole year for this weekend to be able to express themselves. With what’s going on with the world, they’re basically being told that these are the only places they can. I know that in New York we live in a bubble. I know in D.C., we live in a bubble. But I want to show people that are coming from the middle of nowhere that they can have a good time, and even if it is for this weekend, they can rely on us. I want our community to know that I am here for them.”
You can find Boomer Banks headlining Friday’s main dance event UNCUT XL from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. at REPUBLIQ Hall (2122 24th Pl NE) and go-go dancing during Saturday’s PERVERT XXL party at A.I. Warehouse (530 Penn St., N.E.) from 10 p.m. to 4 a.m. as well as on X @Boomer_Banks and on Instagram @baconlvr.
For more information about MAL events visit leatherweekend.com or kineticpresents.com.

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