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‘Two Dogs’ will delight readers of all ages

Kids will relish the antics and repartee of Perry and Augie

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(Book cover courtesy Harper Collins)

‘Two Dogs’
Written and illustrated by Ian Falconer
c. 2022, Michael di Capua/Harper Collins
$18.99/40 pages
Ages 4-8

Temperatures are soaring. No one’s using their inside voice. We’re going to the dogs! But thankfully, not just any dogs.

In “Two Dogs,” his newest picture book, gay writer, illustrator, and theater designer Ian Falconer gives us Perry and Augie, the most fun pooches you’d ever hope to meet. If these pups don’t make you smile, see an orthopedist ASAP because your funny bone is broken.

As is often the case with  great children’s books writers and illustrators, such as Maurice Sendak, Falconer’s work is enjoyed not only by kids, but adults.

Grandparents, parents, uncles, aunts, and college students as well as kids have been captivated by Olivia, the clever, assertive, charming pig, who hams it up in a series of Falconer’s acclaimed children’s books.

From her debut in 2000 in Falconer’s Caldecott-Medal-winning “Olivia,” the fab pig Olivia has been a diva for the ages. Rendered in wonderful black and white (with a touch of red) drawings, she has been adored by everyone from preschoolers to the late Hilary Knight, illustrator of “Eloise at the Plaza.” “Eloise has met her match! We love Olivia!” Knight said of the porcine star.Olivia deserves the diva-worship. She doesn’t live in a luxury hotel or have a nanny. She has a dad, mom, and siblings. There’s no room service for them.

Yet Olivia lives quite the life. She’s one of a kind. It’s hard to think of any other pig who has photos of Eleanor Roosevelt and Martha Graham in her bedroom. Olivia’s been a fairy princess and traveled to Venice. On a vacation, she saves the day when circus performers are sick. “Luckily I knew how to do everything,” she says. (Dame Edna Everage does a fab reading of the Olivia books in the “Olivia Audio Collection.”)

You might wonder if any creature, no matter how winsome, could avoid being overshadowed by Olivia. But you needn’t fear. Perry and Augie have no trouble taking center stage. Their energy and charisma, unleashed, bounce off the page.

Augie and Perry are two witty dachshunds. The wiener dogs have a classic beauty. “Indeed, they look like little Roman emperors,” Falconer writes.

The drawings in “Two Dogs” are hilarious — in vivid, bright colors. You feel as if you’re right there with Augie and Perry as they complain about how bored they are when their humans are at work and school, or, after breaking the lock on the door, run around on the grass outside.

Augie and Perry are good friends with opposite, but complementary, temperaments.

Perry throws caution to the wind: he’s a mischief-maker. Augie is cautious, but clever. “Most of the time Augie looked more serious,” Falconer writes, “Perry was all over the place.”

Augie and Perry are just pooches at play, but they’re operatic creatures. In one scene, Perry takes away Augie’s ball. As any dog would know, “The ball,” as Falconer writes, “was very important to Augie.”

But Augie is no fool. In a move that Maria Callas or Barbra Streisand would admire, Augie bangs away on the black keys of a piano. Falconer’s drawing makes Augie’s music look as terrifying as it is to Perry. “PLEASE, AUGIE, NOT THE PIANO!” Perry pleads.

Augie and Perry bark at squirrels, roll around in raccoon poop and find a hole to dig in. Falconer is so good at evoking the pleasures of dachshunds that you might wonder if, maybe, he was a dog in a previous life.

Along with writing award-winning kids books, Falconer, born in 1959, has designed sets and costumes for operas and ballets. He’s created covers for “The New Yorker” (his Halloween and Valentine’s Day covers are among his best).

You may question if it’s necessary to mention that Falconer’s gay. Here’s why it’s worth noting: because until recently, due to homophobia, most queer children’s book writers couldn’t come out.  

The antics and repartee of Perry and Augie will delight readers from 4 to 104. Be warned: your copy will be dog-eared.

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Books

In ‘The Lost Brontë,’ a complicated lie can lead to danger

New book features sweetly romantic girl-meets-girl twist

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(Book cover image courtesy of Bywater Books)

‘The Lost Brontë’
By Catherine Friend
c.2026, Bywater Books
$22.95/335 pages

Mom always said to tell the truth.

One lie leads to another and another and you have to remember them all until pretty soon, you’re caught. Fibs are hard, mistruths are messy, even little white social lies can destroy trust. Worst of all, as in the new novel, “The Lost Brontë” by Catherine Friend, a complicated lie can lead to danger.

Though Lilianne Loxley was very young when she lost her parents, she understood that her uncle didn’t really want her. As time passed, though, Lily made herself useful to Uncle, writing and signing letters for him and she became a good companion, helping him with his collection of Brontë memorabilia. Uncle was a keen enthusiast.

She had no idea that his obsession was out of control and he was deeply in arrears. The day Lily learned of his debt was the day she learned that he’d agreed to send her to his debtor’s home to work off the money owed.

It was so sudden. One minute, Lily was at Loxley House, happy and loved by Uncle’s staff … and five hours later, she was at Crag Thorn Manor, home of Lord Bexton, who informed her that she’d be working on his ledgers – work that seemed routine, but Lily tackled it.

Uncle always did say she was headstrong.

But would headstrong be enough to survive, when she was restricted from most of the Manor, when she was forced to dine with Brexton and his slimy friend, or – the worst! – when Brexton told Lily that her next task was to forge a letter from Emily Brontë? And then an entire manuscript?

Lily struggled to do what was right. She had to get Uncle out of debt but this last order horrified her. Did she dare refuse Brexton’s orders and commit a crime? It was unthinkable!

The only brightness in the whole situation was Wren, the ladies’ maid assigned to Lily’s room. Wren was adorable with freckles and the sweetest smile. But with everything else happening at Crag Thorn Manner, could Lily act upon her feelings?

This time of year, you may come to crave dark, spooky stories, and “The Last Brontë” fits those needs perfectly with its Gothic deliciousness. Think: Daphne du Maurier-type, stormy-night squirms with a dangerously chaste, sweetly romantic girl-meets-girl twist for fun.

If it’s been awhile since you’ve read a Gothic novel, you’re in for a nice reminder of why you love them here. You can almost tick off the must-haves: a novel like this is nothing without a foreboding stone manor with damp walls; stone steps to a dank basement; a mysterious portrait; and a nearby bog, and author Catherine Friend gives readers every one of them. You’d be disappointed if there was no ghost, wouldn’t you? Ha. You can practically feel the cold blow through the attic, right? Yeah, it’s that kind of book.

If you’re a fan of the Brontës, you’ll like this novel. If you love Gothic mysteries or Victorian romances, ditto. “The Lost Brontë” is good, no lie.

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Books

Eliot Glazer’s new book an engaging collection of essays

From growing up gay to turning down ‘Queer Eye’

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(Book cover image courtesy of Gallery Books)

“The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay: Essays”
By Eliot Glazer
c.2026, Gallery Books
$28.99/240 pages

You try and you try.

Once, twice, you go back at that thorny issue, the dream you have, the punchline that’s not hitting quite right. Sometimes, time is all you need to make it better, or a new approach, or a second look. And then there are days when you actually get things right, as in “The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay” by Eliot Glazer, and it’s all good.

Throughout his life, Eliot Glazer has made mistakes. And it’s OK, everybody trips and falls now and then. In his case, though, he’s perfectly willing to document his failures, foibles, and whoopsies in this book.

He writes of his mother, Sandi, “a Queens-born balabosta” who wouldn’t tolerate laziness in herself or Glazer. He found work as soon as he was legally able to do so, and he had many jobs throughout high school. He was a gardener, ice cream scooper, camp counselor, golf caddy, chocolatier, telemarketer, and video store clerk. The one that fit him best, however, was working at Talbots, a department store for older women, where he found his people.

Even with all those jobs, he was a theater kid in his time off, little though it was. Back then, he was just a boy growing up on Long Island but swagger was important, so swagger he did. He still appreciates a good Broadway show, even the silliest ones.

Glazer says that he had just recently come out when gayness exploded on TV with “Will & Grace” and “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” with which he was obsessed. It helped him feel not othered, he says. Producers of the reboot asked him to be a second-generation Eye, but Glazer turned them down, though he thinks he’d have been good at it.

The show helped him with love of décor. His unexpected advisory skills came naturally, through age and wisdom and learning that wild partying isn’t really so much fun.

As for finding love, well, that’s a long, boy-meets-boy-meets-boy story…

So you’re looking for something to easily pick up and put down, something that speaks to your inner impatience? You’ll find that in “The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay,” a book that’s practically meant for you to skip around and you don’t have to read everything.

Essays can be like that, which is nice, even refreshing. Author Eliot Glazer is entertaining enough to make things work, engaging enough to keep it moving, and funny enough to make you want more of what he has to say. He’s open with his life and, despite his fame, his writing isn’t lofty; you can expect stories that’ll make you snort and ones with spice, but also some surprisingly tender moments that soften this book in a way that’s just right.

Readers who want a quick, mostly light book to finish will find something appealing in this collection of essays. If you don’t mind a bit of non-linearity and you need a laugh, “The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Gay.” is worth a try.

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Books

Curl up with a good book this fall

New releases include mysteries, biographies, religion, and more

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(Book cover image courtesy Amazon)

The fall books season offers lots of options so curl up and get ready to read.

FICTION

For the mystery fan who likes a sprinkle of thriller, look for “The Longest Death” by Kevin Jagernauth (Soho Crime, December). Richard Cobson hates his small town, he’s bored and desperate to get away. Stealing from his employer is the only thing that makes life bearable. That all changes when Marlon Montgomery comes to town and the two fall in love because if one guy can steal so easily, what can two do?

If you like graphic novels, try the “Tripping Over You” trilogy by Suzana Harcum and Owena White. Milo and Liam are finally able to be open about their relationship, no more hiding their love. They’re living together now, but can it last? “Tripping Over You Book 3” (First Second Books) is in stores in early November.

Also try “Diana: The Punk Singer Who Ripped Through Time” by Nate Powell (Abrams ComicArts, October). It’s about a  young woman who’s trying desperately to escape her past, until a mysterious murder sidetracks her plans.

So you say you’re a romantic at heart? Then look for “Unspeakable Things: A Novel” by Elizabeth Hand (Little, Brown & Company, October). It’s a story set in the 1920s, when two young women arrive in the English Countryside to a dark and ancient manor. But, of course, nothing in a Gothic novel is easy, right? And you’ll love this tale.

NONFICTION

So this upcoming year is going to be one of exploration, right? Then look for “Free Love: Adventures in Marriage and Polyamory” by Michelle Tea (HarperOne, November). It’s a well-researched, personal, and interesting look at the lives of polyamorous couples and what it’s like to live what used to be called an “alternative” lifestyle.

If “fall” says “biography” to you, then look for “Showbiz! My Life as a Middle-Aged Man” by Murray Hill (Gallery Books, October). For decades, Hill has been making audiences laugh with his signature humor, but getting laughs hides his past all too well. He grew up in an abusive family and learning to hone his talents took some ingenuity. If you’re not a Hill fan yet, you will be, once you read this book.

For the reader who’s searching for a spiritual place, “Reading the Bible Through Queer Eyes: Good News for LGBTQ+ People from Genesis to Revelation” by podcasters Brian G. Murphy and Shannon T.L. Kearns (HarperOne, December) might help. Here, the authors look deeply at Scripture to find the queerness that’s there, proving to readers that the Word is not always what it seems.

Young readers may want to check out “Bitter Pill: Randy Shilts and the Dawn of the HIV/AIDS Epidemic” by Clement Xavier, illustrated by Heloise Cochois, foreword by Michael Lee (Abrams ComicArts, November). It’s a highly researched true story of activist Shilts, but also of Harvey Milk, and the earliest days of the AIDS crisis, when gay men needed a loud voice to advocate for them.

And finally, if you want a fun book for your kids or a child you love, look for “Good Night, Break a Leg: Life with Broadway Dads” by Bret Shuford, illustrated by Elena Hager (Penguin Workshop). What do parents do when they go to work? A little boy learns that his dads have very special jobs by day – and by night! It’s a cute book for kids, but a special tale for lovers of Broadway.

Be aware that publication dates change, titles change, books can be canceled, and your librarian or favorite bookseller can help you find what you need. Season’s readings!

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