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Queery: David Perez

The GLBT Latino History Project president answers 20 gay questions

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David Perez (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Though David Perez is a few generations removed from the group that came to the U.S. — his great-grandparents on his father’s side immigrated to the U.S. from Mexico — he identifies strongly with his Latino roots and spends his career and volunteer hours working on community advocacy.

By day, he’s director of development at the League of United Latin American Citizens (LULAC) and last May he became president of the D.C.-based Latino GLBT History Project, which is planning an expanded edition of Latino Pride this year. Festivities kick off Sunday and run over four (non-consecutive) days. More details are on page 29 or at latinoglbthistory.org.

Perez, 28, says it’s important for Latino gays to have their own forum in which to gather.

“A lot of the issues are the same, but there are additional issues as well,” he says. “Some things like access to health care, immigration reform, there are some things that affect out community more so while we like to talk about the broad LGBT agenda too, there are Latino-specific issues that are different.”

Perez says last year’s event felt a bit hectic with serious discussion-type events and a dance party all crammed into one day. This year, organizers have spread things out and added elements, such as a church service on June 3.

“We’re really excited about it,” he says. “We’ve gotten a lot of feedback of people who have an interest in seeing Latino Pride grow.”

Perez grew up in Vista., Calif., near San Diego and went to a conservative Christian college near Los Angeles. He came to Washington in 2005 for an internship and went to graduate school at Georgetown University, then stayed. He joined LULAC in 2007. He and boyfriend Gary James have been together 11 months.

Perez lives in Dupont Circle and enjoys volunteering, recreational sports, watching TV and spending time with friends in his free time. (Blade photo by Michael Key)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I came out in August of 2006 to my friends during my second year of graduate school in D.C. That was fairly simple with a lot of progressive friends. The next time I saw my parents was December 25, 2006 and I told my Mom, Dad, sister and brother because they are very close to me and I wanted to share my life with them. They have been great to me and have treated me no differently than before. The hardest folks to tell were my friends from my conservative evangelical university. However, my close circle of friends there were really great and we are still friends.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

There are so many influential folks in my life. One fellow gay Latino I look up to is Russell Roybal at the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. He has been involved in LGBT advocacy for many years and I admire is commitment to intersectional community organization to ensure LGBT advocacy includes mobilizing communities around racial and social justice issues as well. I witnessed this first hand at Creating Change this year in Baltimore.

What’s Washington’s best nightspot, past or present? 

Rumba Latina at Cobalt is my favorite monthly party. The promoter Johnny Vasquez is hosting a special Latino dance party to raise funds for Latino Pride at Cobalt this Sunday at 10 p.m. Please join us!

Describe your dream wedding.

For my dream wedding, my husband and I would be surrounded by all our friends and families. I am sure it would be a decent size as I would want to invite all my tías and tíos (aunts and uncles). Definitely at a beautiful Episcopal Church.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Latino civil rights in the US. I spend my day-job fundraising for community and advocacy programs for the League of United Latino American Citizens. This is my passion. Fixing our broken immigration reform is a must! It should be LGBT inclusive compressive immigration reform. It’s hard to say if it’s just an LGBT or Latino issue. We need to be building coalitions to work together and support each other’s work.

What historical outcome would you change?

The way history has been written. So many amazing LGBTQ Latinas and Latinos have been left out of the history books. For example, Sylvia Rivera, a Latina Transgender activist, was at the front lines of the Stonewall riots. Latino involvement in LGBT advocacy is not a new thing. We have always been there. The purpose of the Latino GLBT History Project is to collect and preserve those stories and educate the public about the significant contributions of LBGT Latinos to the movement and society in general.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Ricky Martin coming out. Though a long time coming, this is a very powerful statement for such a national and international figure to come out, especially for Latinos.

On what do you insist?

Doing your best to love your neighbor as yourself. It’s not always easy, but I feel we should treat all human beings with love and respect even if we disagree.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

DC Latino Pride… Four days of Celebration: May 20th Royal Coronation at Cobalt, May 30th Panel Discussion & Community Resource Fair Human Rights Campaign, June 3rd Ecumenical Service St. Thomas’ Parish & Thursday, June 7th Official Latino Pride Dance Party at Town Danceboutique. Join the fun! www.LatinoGLBTHistory.org

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“The Little Engine That Could.” I have so many mentors who have inspired me to achieve goals that I never even knew existed, like getting a graduate degree! I try to pass on the love and inspire others to dream big as well.

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Nada (nothing). I love being gay.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? 

I believe in God who loves us all. I worship with my faith community regularly at St. Thomas’ Episcopal Parish Dupont Circle.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Build coalitions and work together. Commit yourself to diversity and inclusiveness. It might take a lot of work, but will be stronger partnerships for the long-term goals of the movement.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

My man, Gary

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

Assuming we always have to be the ones at the office to plan the party. Though I do love to plan parties.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

“The Broken Hearts Club.” I love softball and it’s an overall great movie.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

On Facebook, adding everyone who requests to be your “friend” even if you don’t know them.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I was really touched when the LULAC Youth gave me a medal after helping them paint murals in Latino neighborhoods of Chicago and north of Columbia Heights. It was totally unexpected and a project totally out of my normal duties. It was touching to see how much they enjoyed it.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

College is expensive. Save up early!

Why Washington?

I first came to Washington, D.C. for an internship with my congressman. I loved politics and the West Wing. I came back for graduate school at Georgetown University. Stayed here working ever since. It is where I came out and is my current home.

 

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Ryan Murphy’s ‘Monster’ vilifies the lesbian

Netflix show promotes stereotype that queer women are dangerous

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Ella Beatty stars in ‘Lizzie Borden.’ (Photo courtesy of Netflix)

Ryan Murphy’s “Monster: The Lizzie Borden Story” just premiered on Netflix and became the most watched show on the platform. Murphy and his series are deeply controversial. The past three seasons have focused on convicted killers Jeffrey Dahmer, Lyle and Erik Menendez, and Ed Gein, and have garnered considerable criticism for sensationalizing real-life trauma, exploiting victims for entertainment, and glorifying the perpetrators.

But his newest season centers on Lizzie Borden, the white, affluent Massachusetts woman still referenced today in nursery rhymes who was never convicted of killing her parents Andrew and Abby Borden. As with Murphy’s other seasons, the show plays fast-and-loose with real-life history, instead turning a real-life crime into a psychosexual spectacle. 

In real life, Lizzie was found not guilty by an all-male jury in the highly publicized 1892 trial, largely due to a lack of evidence including blood on her clothing and a murder weapon. Her initial statement contradicted her later testimony but her defense team argued that the morphine a doctor repeatedly gave her likely caused her confusion. But despite the fact that Lizzie was acquitted in court, she was ostracized by her community during her life and has been branded a murderer ever since.

Murphy’s highly fictionalized retelling of Lizzie’s story leans into this accusation not only that Lizzie murdered her father and stepmother with an axe but that she was successful in covering it up with the help of the maid Bridget Sullivan. Murphy not only concocts a sapphic relationship between Lizzie and Bridget, pinning the idea of killing Lizzie’s parents on the widely traveled woman who dyes her hair and is repeatedly called a lesbophobic slur by Lizzie’s stepmother, but also portrays Lizzie as an inspiration to Aileen Carol Wuornos, a woman who killed seven men who solicited sex and was also in a relationship with a woman. 

Further, Murphy’s retelling creates a false ending to Lizzie’s story. While in real life, Lizzie and her sister Emma buy a house called “Maplecroft” and live there for the rest of their lives, Murphy instead imagines Bridget returning sporadically for romantic rendezvous with Lizzie and eventually moving back in with her and marching together for women’s right to vote. In real life, Bridget left town immediately after providing testimony and lived in Montana until she died. 

Lesbophobia is at the heart of this retelling of Borden’s story. Despite the fact that Murphy depicts Lizzie and Bridget having sex and possibly getting married or at least promising themselves to one another wearing flower crowns, there is no evidence that Lizzie and Bridget had any romantic or sexual relationship. If they did have a relationship, it would likely have been hidden and any evidence destroyed, but records show that Lizzie herself refused to call Bridget by her real name, instead referring to her as “Maggie,” the name of their previous maid. It was only Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who called Bridget her real name. In Murphy’s retelling, it’s Lizzie’s stepmother Abby who refuses to learn or use Bridget’s actual name and treats her with disdain along with her stepdaughter.

Some people online argue that we are witnessing Lizzie’s story retold through Wuornos’s perspective, so adding in elements of child abuse and sapphic relationships would make sense, but there is no record that Wuornos ever visited Lizzie Borden’s home, or that she was inspired by Borden throughout her life. Instead, Murphy and his co-creator Ian Brennan use (or I would say exploit) Wuornos as a thematic device to make broad stereotypes about female rage across generations. In doing so, they conflate two real-life examples of violence to sapphic individuals.

Depicting a lesbian relationship in this way is not progress, nor is it fruitful representation today. As sapphic shows are increasingly cut and cancelled, Murphy’s inclusion just reinforces the lesbophobic and sexist stereotype that lesbians and queer women are “dangerous” to straight women and abet or incite violence against men and a family unit. At a time when anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and real-world violence and murder of LGBTQ+ people, especially queer and trans people of color, is exploding, stories that frame murder of a family unit as germinating from a sapphic relationship feed into far right narratives.

They further the myth popularized by far right leaders (including those in the highest echelons of government) that LGBTQ+ people are dangerous, a threat to heterosexual norms and family life, despite the data showing that children of same-sex parents have above average health and well-being according to research by the University of Melbourne.

Today, many LGBTQ+ people feel they have to be (or are forced to be) idealized versions of themselves in order to stave off anti-LGBTQ+ stigma, policing and violence. These “acceptable” behaviors and appearances are rooted not only in cisgender, heterosexual norms but also white supremacy, colonialism, xenophobia, and ableism. It is respectability politics that tell us how we can and should behave (including those perpetuating in the wider LGBTQ+ community) and push LGBTQ+ people to assimilate into a society governed by queerphobic normativity. 

I hope it’s clear that I’m not trying to argue that we cannot and should not have shows that depict queer women who kill, or at the very least queer women who are unethical or morally complex. We need these depictions because they ask difficult questions and they reference how some LGBTQ+ people can be and are unethical. In fact, several public LGBTQ+ figures are associated with employee abuse and exploitation, ableism, and fat phobia. 

But when Lizzie’s sapphic identity is invented to drive the story along, arguably to generate interest (especially straight men’s interest) in this spectacle of historical slop, it’s not a story that invites discourse and dimensionality, it’s one that collapses Lizzie, Wuornos, and queer women’s identities and relationships to plot devices. It objectifies and fetishizes queer women, arguably committing violence against not only Lizzie but also Wuornos.

And when there is so little representation of sapphic relationships on mainstream television or streaming platforms, it makes this the vast majority of representation that queer girls and women will see of themselves first, and that the straight public will see. Historians will know that Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie’s life is wrong, but many viewers will not and may not go digging for the truth.

Why not focus on the stories of bisexual, lesbian, and queer women who really existed, shared their identities (sometimes covertly, sometimes not), and had long-term partners? In fact, “Boston marriages” were common in this time period and referred to women living together when sexual and romantic relationships between women were illegal, partially because penal systems didn’t know how women could have sex with one another and didn’t want to put the idea in “impressionable” women’s minds. Why not focus on these stories instead of creating a fictionalized account? We have always existed; we do not need to invent relationships.

Murphy’s depiction of Lizzie Borden is deeply problematic. Lesbophobia is not the only issue at the heart of Murphy’s drama, but it merits a broader discussion about how mainstream media routinely hurt queer women and is part of perpetuating queerphobic violence, and what we all lose in the process. 

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Vote now! Best Of LGBTQ DC readers’ choice awards

Halloween party set for Oct. 22 to celebrate the winners

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The Blade is excited to celebrate the 25th anniversary of our Best Of LGBTQ DC awards this year. We’re pulling out all the stops for our annual party with celebrity emcee Ashley Darby and acclaimed DJ Michael Navarro. The party is set for Oct. 22 at Longview Gallery with pop-up performances, cocktail and food tastings, open bar, and a Halloween costume contest with the theme, “Murder on the Dancefloor.”

But first, you have to vote. You nominated and now we have our finalists for the 2026 Best of LGBTQ DC Awards.

Vote for your favorites through Oct. 8.

We’ll honor the winners at the Best of LGBTQ DC Awards Party on Thursday, Oct. 22, and showcase them in our special issue released Friday, Oct. 23.

VOTE BELOW OR BY CLICKING HERE!

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Bars & Parties

Lesbian Bar Project co-founder: purity politics could destroy our remaining spaces

Last Ditch’s decision to lift its mask requirement for one night a week has sparked intra-queer controversy

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(Design by Soph Holland)

Uncloseted Media published this story on Sept. 29

By ERICA ROSE and THE LESBIAN BAR PROJECT | As a professional lesbian and Massachusetts native, I’ve recently been asked by a lot of folks what I think about the saga unfolding at Last Ditch. The now-viral story, first reported by the Boston Globe, centers on a Western Massachusetts lesbian bar that lifted its mask requirement for one night a week to help drum up business.

The decision ignited an intra-queer controversy that has been feasted on by media outlets across the political spectrum — from the New York Post to LGBTQ Nation — and is even reportedly being eyed for a Hollywood adaptation. Apparently nothing is more entertaining than a bunch of lesbians and queers fighting with each other over KN-95s.

What has been lost in all of the chatter and media coverage is the very real possibility that Last Ditch, which just opened in April 2025, will have to close its doors. The venue’s one remaining founder, Jackie Matellian, revealed in a community Zoom meeting that she’s working four jobs, is now solely responsible for the bar’s $50,000 business loan and is struggling to keep up with the bills. So as we laugh about the controversy’s similarity to a “Portlandia” skit and how one of the bar’s founders left to enroll in clown school, we forget that yet another lesbian bar is facing an existential crisis — and this time the call is coming from inside the house.

In 2020, my friend Elina Street and I created The Lesbian Bar Project, an Emmy-, Webby- and GLAAD Media Award-winning docuseries and initiative that tells the stories of lesbian queer bars around the world. We were moved to act because at the time there were only an estimated 16 lesbian bars in the United States, and the pandemic threatened to bring that number down even further.

There are now more sapphic bars than there were just before the pandemic — about 36 of them in total — but this is down from approximately 200 in 1980. Maybe that doesn’t mean much to you, but for the millions of sapphics living in the U.S., this number is calamitous.

As the world laughs at lesbians and sapphics, I want to take a second and tell you what I feel when I walk into one of these bars, which are all unique and irreplaceable in their own way: I feel seen.

Sometimes I think Cubbyhole in New York City’s West Village neighborhood knew I was gay before I did. When I walked in there for the first time, before I was even out, I was transfixed by the colorful array of tchotchkes hanging from the ceiling and how the women standing next to me were completely unafraid to express their desire for one another. I knew the minute I was ready to come out, I had a home. I also felt the joy of a new couple falling in love at Seattle’s Wildrose, the quiet confidence of a short king lining up her shot at the pool table at Ginger’s in Brooklyn and the kick of cayenne pepper in Julie Mabry’s crawfish at Houston’s Pearl Bar.

Lesbian bars don’t just serve lesbians; they serve queer folks across the spectrum, including bisexual, pansexual and trans people. As Elina and I traveled across the U.S. and Europe and to parts of Latin America to document the bar owners, staff and patrons that make up the ecosystems of these spaces, we also became uniquely acquainted with the factors that threaten their existence: gentrification, wage gaps, sexism, environmental disasters, gun violence, rising insurance premiums and political administrations working to annihilate queer people and their families.

Lesbian bar owners, like all leaders and entrepreneurs, are imperfect. There have been significant issues over the years at lesbian bars: employee harassment, racism, lack of accessibility, sexual assault and transphobia. All bar owners should be held accountable and should listen to their communities to evolve into safer and more equitable spaces. I also acknowledge my privilege: I am able-bodied, white, cis and from a family system that loves me for who I am. Not everyone has that.

Queer people, especially trans and bisexual people, are suffering from disproportionately high levels of depression, and our mental health system isn’t equipped to support them. Immunocompromised people and long COVID are real, and many of my friends are suffering to this day. The people with the least safety net are often the ones for whom a bar closing costs the most. And yet, as we’re seeing with Last Ditch, the queer community often lashes out at each other. It’s also the mainstream media taking the internal conflict and making a mockery out of it, distracting from the real possibility that this bar could close due to financial pressures. A bar that many people loved and needed is facing extinction. Perhaps it’s safer to dissent with one another than with the larger forces trying to eradicate us, but in doing so, we risk destroying the few spaces we have left.

Due to the constraints of purity politics — some in good faith, some not so much — lesbian bar owners, almost all of whom are queer women themselves, are forced to be everything for everyone, similarly to how women are forced to be everything for everyone. By asking these bars to uphold impossible standards — standards very few other third spaces are asked to consider — we all end up losing.

I want to move as a community toward dialogue, compassionate dissent and collaboration to make our spaces better with the goal of keeping them OPEN and thriving, rather than destroying them from the inside with expectations that are arguably unattainable.

While I have your attention — for this fleeting second of the news cycle — may I urge us to spearhead a way to keep these small businesses afloat without attacking our own community along the way? Bar owners are left with an impasse: They want to be community-centered, but they also have to make money to keep their doors open. Sometimes they might make business decisions that don’t work for everyone — and that’s partly because different patrons have different priorities and want different things — but these owners deserve the opportunity for productive dialogue. We have to work with them and with each other to keep our spaces open, to keep them growing.

Lesbian bars raised me into the queer woman I am today. One thing I think about as I reflect on the six years of work we’ve done to document these spaces is that shared, unspoken language I have with a stranger the moment we both walk into one of these bars: the nod, the ease, the not having to explain ourselves. I don’t want to lose that, and neither should you.

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